Foolproof Reasons Why You Should STOP Trying To Fix Your Marriage

The worst thing about losing your marriage is also losing yourself. Sometimes we've been married for so long that we lose a sense of identity and don't know who we are without our spouse. Today we interview Amanda, a member of our Marriage Helper Community that went through a six-year-long battle with her husband.
They were on the edge of divorce, they stopped communicating with each other, and over time things just went from bad to worse. Amanda tells us how she stopped focusing on her marriage and instead concentrated on herself. Through her self-reflective efforts to prioritize her happiness and figure herself out, she became a better person not only for her but for her husband, her children, and her future relationships with friends and family.
Listen now to hear Amanda's Story.
In the fight for your marriage, you are never alone. There are people just like you who want to stand for their marriage and fight for the one they love.
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[@IsaacMakana]

Thank you so much for publishing this story. This sounds like mine in so many ways, although we are earlier in the process and roles are reversed. My husband isn’t dealing with grief and caregiver burnout from caring for a terminally I’ll child in a way in which we lean into each other and he instead took me by surprise by asking for a separation and more after 20 years of marriage. I pray we can get to your point and beyond. He attended the workshop with me, but currently voices no interest in reconciliation. Praying to hold onto SMART contact and my PIES and I know they are working for me, I hope they work for us.

[@MarriageHelper]

Thank you so much IsaacMakana. We truly appreciate your comment and are grateful to have you as part of our community here on KZbin. Please, don't hesitate to reach out to us if there's anything else we can do for you. marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ Blessings,

[@amybostic1439]

This is likely the most valuable video yet for those of us who have been left and are in an absolute panic. I now hear someone explaining what my husband cannot to me-and I thank you for this.

[@pr3modeling239]

She's never let me concentrate on myself. Anything I do that doesn't directly benefit her or the kids is bad, to my wife. I used to have hobbies. I used to have friends. I used to play less guitar in a band. I used to go do things without her. But she guilt-tripped me until I quit all of it ."You were never here!" "You always were more interested in your stuff than me." "You never helped with the kids. You never help with anything!" None of this is true, but to her it is.

[@elizabeth1624]

I’m sorry to read these Chris, From the experience of Amanda and my own I think one of our biggest problems is not knowing what are healthy boundaries for ourself and within the couple. Focusing first in re finding ourselves maybe will help us see the things from another perspective, also try to understand our spouses perspective too.. I’d really like to get to that! Its already good we’ve found these channel! : ) There’s so much to learn but we’re on the way ! Wish you the best 🙏

[@cherylross393]

A pretty selfish spouse,you're happy when you're partner is happy I would think it's okay to have outside interests and come together still. Toxic just is so selfish in relationships.

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@earniewaterman6511]

Hey Man...are we married to the same woman lol

[@cherylross393]

Self love is 🔑 key, my friend an older woman always said "I don't want someone that doesn't want me"!! I guess that pretty much says it all.

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@cynthiajones1461]

This was a blessing to me today. I needed to hear all this and the encouragement it gave me to do the solo classes and try and find me again instead of having my whole life wrapped up in a man who didn't appreciate me. Thank you so much for sharing and your honesty. I wish you a solid future with your husband and children.

[@kimberlyjennings618]

So cool to see Amanda on the show! Thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable 💖

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..

[@inlandsea929]

Bravo lady.wise.composed.inspiration❤️✌️...what she is telling I know all ....she is brave.

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@jamesrandy3322]

Thank you this was perfect

[@janetgomez4145]

All these stories are so helpful! It will help me with my experiences and how to cope. PLEASE continue presenting such interviews. It will help hundreds of spouses. Again THANKS!!! P. S. Gemma, you're a great interviewer 😉👍

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@thatguy7085]

I asked my wife for a divorce… and she still wants to control me.

[@StevoSparta-tt5vu]

Interesting to hear. I do feel for her but I agree with her initial view since she left she was more the one who should have fixed it. Like…you can’t bail, even if your spouse messes up, and then expect for them to just forgive after she treated him without emotion first.

[@Frank1life2live]

Such a beautiful testimony. I've heard it takes two to tango. I now believe it takes three to tango- wife, husband, and God.....

[@darkcolouredglasses]

This is heartbreaking. Hope Amanda will find true love. You deserve so much better - and glad you're on the path to finding that out 💕

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@redoak3809]

The Key is making good memories for yourself. It is contagious.

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@georgenyenyezi4584]

This is me right now !

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@heatherlupton4906]

There’s no help when we are already divorced..? He told the judge that he did not want counseling for our marriage. So maybe if you can help with marriage counseling then maybe I could ask about divorce counseling?

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@heatherlupton4906]

@@halimamustap5671 I am very happy for you… I wish you the absolute best! However, this just isn’t something that “one specific person” can fix…. I just have to move on. But I’m so happy it worked out for you!

[@ladawn9117]

This sounds so much like my story

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@mysticalheart8107]

IF HE Doesn't see you for months at a time I would wonder if he is getting his needs met elsewhere. Just saying...check it out .

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝

[@hope2redemption321]

This doesn't sounds good at all. He emotionally neglected her most of their marriage, she starts to pull away, he gets overly involved but not out of love. Now he is emotionally neglecting her again and telling her she can't control him. She isn't trying to control him but they are married. He doesn't want to fix the marriage and for years she is hanging on by a thread. She is still hanging in there while he is still neglecting her and their marriage. He is a grown adult who needs to face his issues in the marriage and deal with them. He sounds very resentful and bitter, mad at her because she was upset over his emotional neglect in the first place. I'm glad she is working on herself, I am at that point. She is getting dismissed constantly and allowing him to push her boundaries with no consequence.

[@arthurbalcita4851]

If your husband have been for months away, are you sure he’s not meeting his needs with somebody else, like maybe a second family? Just saying because have seen that with many marriages in trouble. You seems like a very nice lady and wish you find real true love.I can’t see any reason why a marriage like yours can survive with all kinds of struggles ,disappointments and heartaches. Maybe just move on and find yourself somebody who will love you, the way you deserve to be love. God help you and take care. By Amelia just move on and find happiness

[@halimamustap5671]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together..

[@halimamustap5671]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你..

[@halimamustap5671]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝