How to Release Obsessive Thoughts: Rumination, OCD, and Fear | Being Well Podcast

[@rw2747]

How refreshing to see such a healthy parent/child relationship. Respectful and supportive to each other. Also love the content

[@tarjeik7162]

Healthy?.🤣🤣🤣

[@premierdomino]

My ruminating happens when I have time to my self or don’t have a packed schedule or can’t find a certainty about life. Which makes me think when I’m older and/or alone I will go insane and be in complete isolation for eternity. I feel like I’m already there or will be there and it is written in stone with no chance of a different picture or escape . I know it sounds crazy but it feels more real than anything when you’re in that state of mind. I pray for it to stop or a way to find help and work on it. It does suck the life out of me and spark and makes you feel alone even when you have people around you. Along with anxiety it takes you to a whole other level. I’m trying to hold back the tears as I’m writing this watching my son get his hair cut. Ive had little breaks from this in the last two years I feel mainly because my brain thinks it will short circuit itself. We feel broken,unfixable,lost,disconnected,nervous,scared. I’m sure I missed a few, this is what some of us go through and you can’t comprehend. Some of us could have a limb cut off and it would be less painful. It feels like an incurable disease in my head that won’t kill you but makes you hang on by a string because there are other people that love you and I can’t be a selfish prick to them. I can have almost anything money can buy and trust me it doesn’t make you feel any better.

[@curiousgeorge7073]

I understand, and trust me, this is how it feels for so many of us. I suspect you are talking about early abandonment feelings, and not having received the support and mirroring you needed in childhood. This leaves you with all those feelings you describe. A word of encouragement > you can learn to find your own voice again, as well as your own sense of "agency" (that sense of inner sense of confidence and trust that you can control your life - something that got lost in childhood). There will be anxiety, sadness and a sense of "wobbliness" as you recover for sure, but you can do it! Remember this. In childhood, we had no sense of "agency" (at least that was the experience), but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. It was always there, but it got buried in a fight, flight or freeze response and/or wasn't properly nurtured.. But you can recover it, and come to a realization that you are intact, competent, unbroken, and quite capable of nurturing your inner "child" back to health, and even learn to thrive in your new discovery. I'd give you a hug if I could 💞

[@leeannmansfield5254]

This is exzactky how I'm feeling in my head negative all the time.i was gave up by my mother and didn't understand.

[@kellyrenee]

"But hey, I was dead for 13.5 billion years and I didn't feel a darn thing, so ya know I'll probably be okay!" This was like, casually profound AF. 🤣 As someone whose brain loves to get very ruminatively existential, this comment kind of blew my mind in the best possible way!

[@badwolf69420]

Unfortunately that won't work for those with Buddhist or Hindu inclinations.

[@lindalu7713]

Thank you for the talk on rumination. Due to being in a very long-term freeze response to past traumas, I find myself in the habit of 'stuck' thinking and dwelling on painful conversations and experiences. I would love to hear a podcast that focuses on agoraphobia and how to begin healing. ❤

[@kassie5779]

Second this. Agoraphobia sucks :(

[@andybreedlove]

Same 💆🏼‍♂️

[@studiolisa2524]

Same here

[@littlewillowlinda]

Hi fellow Linda, same!!

[@emeri.i]

ALL OF IT SAME OMG?!

[@miliejojic921]

Before I even hear the content of today's talk, I am overjoyed to see the genuine love and rapport between the two of you. Blessings to you both. 🙏 And now I return to the chat 🤣

[@fionascott3067]

Thank you so much for this - I will send this to some of my own clients! I had OCD badly as a teen (no help, I was too ashamed to talk about it) and it was only when I got to the point where I could tell my intrusive thoughts that I didn't care if they came, they were just thoughts and didn't represent me because I hadn't chosen them, that they started to shift. Now when I feel OCD starts to build (usually when I'm stressed) I can challenge it and treat it almost like a 'part' in IFS and not only NOT let it control me, but also offer it a little bit of compassion.

[@randomshots2023]

I just cried so much during this video. I wish I had a father that I could have this kind of relationship of. My father sexually abused me when I was little again and again. And I still can't hate him. Ended up having borderline personality. Working on it with a therapist till date. Made myself a therapist as well and work with people with addiction,trauma and bpd. I sort of see the relationship as a fuel for finding sth meaningful in life and I am happy and content in life. But I don't know why I just couldn't stop crying. The bonding between the two made me realise I missed so much in life. I missed a fathers love which I still try to find with men in my life. 🥺 Thank you for helping me grieve for my loss.❤

[@milagrosolmo5864]

Athought it's athought do t leit get to you ignore the thought

[@SN-sz7kw]

Unresolved injustices are an enormous source of crippling rumination. An ability to resolve the relevant emotions would be so helpful. I’ve never found the necessity of “forgiveness” helpful - esp for women - as it can deepen the sense of enforced victimization & denigration.

[@itzajdmting]

I know exactly what you mean. I keep turning one of these over in my head at the moment and it makes me feel depressed, hopeless and powerless. And no matter how I propose to accept this reality, I cannot shake it. It's a legitimate form of suffering in my opinion.

[@emeri.i]

Guys you can forgive someone and pull an “access denied” on them at the same time by setting boundaries and not letting them get to experience your normal self again based on how bad they treated you. Remember you come first and you should indirectly demand respect !! Be a strong and confident woman by knowing your worth and value and not letting negative people impact your emotions so easily. By distancing, you will teach them your value and how big their loss is of losing you

[@emeri.i]

Please maintain healthy boundaries!!

[@MolecularMachine]

​@growlocalmarketingI think you can still apply the methods in this video if you've already come to the conclusion that said person's words don't make sense and aren't relevant to you. Some people are good at saying things that *almost* make sense, so it's tempting to think that those words really do mean something. But if you make yourself certain that she isn't saying anything valuable, you can treat her words like any other mental trash.

[@drewkauffman_life]

Labeling thoughts as "intrusive thoughts" is one of the biggest problems with western views on mental health, as well as those not versed on OCD. No thought is intrusive. Labeling it as such gives the experiencer the urge to get rid of it. Change your wording to "creative thoughts." I have severe OCD. Going towards all thoughts and exposing one's self is the key. Traditional Freudian therapy is the absolute worst thing an OCD experiencer can do. Creative thoughts have no meaning; it's the pairing of fear with these thoughts that is the issue. Once we stop using the super outdated and incorrect term "intrusive thoughts" we will improve all of our mental health . Even the most violent thought is no different than the most enjoyable.

[@Advanced17]

Thank you for writing this. I have been having a hard time lately with these kind of thoughts. I will try what you are suggesting and stop labeling them as intrusive.

[@drewkauffman_life]

Absolutely. Feel free to reach out if you need to talk. We don't want to change thoughts at all; it's really just changing our relationship with them. A big thing that helps me is to remember to allow all thinking without judgment.

[@Aydrim]

For real man, the thoughts seem scary because you don’t want to do what they are telling you, but that’s you giving into the thought and putting it on a pedestal as if it’s stronger than you, the fear itself is hard to get over, but possible. Fear is the thing we need to suppress or get rid of not the thoughts

[@Miss-Hellcat666]

"Creative (intrusive) thoughts have no meaning; it's the pairing of fear with these thoughts that is the issue" Thank you for this 😭

[@techsavytronicstechsavytro528]

Yeah that “just relabel or name your thoughts intrusive” annoys me as it probably only works for mild OCD… for me theres way too many thoughts and no time for identifying thoughts throughout the day… and even something like “red car” pops up in my head and causes pain

[@RRB8745]

I love seeing your dads face light up with pride when you speak. It’s the sweetest most wholesome loving thing I’ve ever seen. It heals my father wound a little bit with every conversation you guys have. 🫶🏽

[@j.d.mcgregor3991]

I’ve ruminated endlessly from a traumatic interaction with a close friend a year ago. I’ve done therapy, I’ve done my best to face the trauma and the emotions. I can’t tell you how much this discussion hit the nail on the head for me. This was so comforting and helpful to listen to. Thank you so much!

[@itzajdmting]

I can relate closely to your experience. It has been a couple of years for me, on and off. Mostly on though!

[@drdevikakhanna4979]

Omg Forrest, how do you seem to know exactly what I need to hear and when? 😊 (And thanks to Rick too of course 😊😊)🌹🙏

[@Monkey_PNut]

Cohesive, flowing open minded loving relationship you both have, and always a joy to keep learning such pearls from you both. Thank you ..enjoying your podcasts immensely!

[@victoriaoshea4865]

This whole show is sincerely helpful. These guys truly care and are really smart

[@SallyUnscripted]

“Some people are not well glued together” hit in a weird but good way.

[@Word-Smithy]

I was taking notes from Rick near the end. I am so grateful for these gems. I added one more to the list -- solely based on what I learned here today: Proactively and intentionally closing communication gaps with others (as challenging as it is for me when emotions are in play) so that I don't spend days or weeks after the fact, looping and ruminating on how I was misunderstood and not heard.

[@TheMMattingly]

The two of you together express everything I could ever be thinking...(seriously, thank you guys so much. haha) you both help me get out all my thinky-thoughts into words and then help to ground it right back into me! Thank you both so much for your genuine love and service for humanity. May we all live long, thrive and better love and know first ourselves and to more wholly know others 🥰🥳

[@studiolisa2524]

I love them!! They have this sweet comforting way of explaining otherwise very disturbing human complexities. ❤

[@peacefulisland67]

Rumination, obsessive thoughts, are red flags that something is unwell in a system. They're ideally to be welcomed as a key to deeper wellness. But we do need support and a system to guide us through, at least until we have worked through obsessive thought a few times to gain confidence. Never underestimate the power of community to ease the pressure (which means community also has to act in the presence of suffering, not just the other way round) and the power of acceptance - leaning in to thoughts with a prayer for help without acting on the thoughts. Most of us are just toddlers in this arena, long removed, but we can get back because we're already there. 😉

[@KTB20016]

Thank you, Rick and Forrest. This episode was so full of insight and wisdom, and so personally helpful, that I have listened to it twice and I expect to return to it.

[@RainFall-wz2yp]

May he overcome his fear and his anger and let me in. May he reach out to me, very very very soon! May he recognize how amazing our friendship really truly is 🙏🏻. May he understand and realize how much he loves me and cares about me and misses me. Misses us.

[@SegChainberland]

When I was in my teen years, I would imagine spontaneously combasting, and it would happen all the time, another obsessive thought was that if I didn't complete a task within seconds I doomed myself to hell and so I would have to complete the task like dishes or taking out the trash within those seconds. I have lived with obsessive thoughts my entire life along with a litany of other undiagnosed things. Understanding how things work in my mind help me to an extent but sometimes I can't tell when my brain goes into a fear response, everything gets taken over by the anxiety, I've gone through so many bad things and seen so much trauma it's hard for me to let go of the possibility that the worse will or may happen again. I am always in survival mode. I am trying to let go of the anxiety and defense/coping mechanisms, but I am still healing and fall back into the same patterns.

[@br-gj1up]

This video was just like going to therapy. Thank you.

[@pavel6174]

I wouldn't wish ocd or ruminating about people or things on anyone. It feels like someone is controlling your brain and not you. It's like your brain is a mouse in a wheel, ocd has to be one of the worst disorders ever.

[@goldenmadison6435]

This is amazing knowledge thank you so much for taking the time to record and share this!

[@mikarose9405]

“The gap between the tiles in the mosaic of the psyche” -. brilliant, I love that!

[@KarenSaunders-q8i]

Thank you Forest and Rick. This is not the first time I've heard your clear explanation of obsessive thoughts but boy did I need it today as I struggle to sleep at night due to an obsessive worry over a problem I can't solve right now but I will be held responsible for the result. Definition of stress I believe. Such a great episode?

[@kevinbunn7915]

I have pretty severe OCD. My problem is I often feel like I am figuring something out, so it's hard to differentiate when it's completely useless. For example, it's one of the things that's made me a good student. I analyze the crap out of things and can often understand concepts in more detail than other students that don't do that. I guess I need to practice differentiating when it's useful and when it's not, which I'm doing.

[@sherileyva5908]

I can so relate to this

[@ShuriBear]

Rick Hanson's experience with psychedelics in the desert really hit close home. I did it a few months ago and felt the same Gestalt-like closure when I opened myself up to things and let my guard down for a moment.

[@pugninja7037]

I had this over a guy, of 6 years , just ghosted..I didn't have closure.. I made a decision that get my life into what I want thats better.. life is short and I want to be happier in my choosing

[@word_salad_bingo]

'Traitor parts', love that.

[@credx2689]

Is there any time when rumination serves a purpose? I had recently heard a suggestion that anxiety is a message from your brain, you’re in a state that you haven’t reacted appropriately to stop and your brain and resulting physiological response are trying to get your attention and force you to deal with your situation (essentially- not quite as elegantly explained as what I’d read) Is it possible that rumination is forcing you to revisit a trauma you haven’t attended to or adequately resolved yet?

[@credx2689]

Edit: I realize that this video may address my comment. Apologies- I stopped the video just at the introduction because I didn’t want to forget my question

[@ForrestHanson]

​@@credx2689 You're right, rumination is often an indicator that something remains unprocessed. So it can be a way of spotlighting what matters to us, or what we have yet to "complete" (with Rick's whole point during the episode about "completing the gestalt"). That said, rumination can be present for all kinds of reasons and is often saturated with a ton of unnecessarily painful emotions.

[@lilymulligan8180]

I got a late OCD diagnosis at age 30, so I'm well acquainted with ruminating thoughts. For me, they mostly happen at bedtime. Weirdly, what I've found works best is to say "SHUT UP, IM TRYING TO SLEEP" to the thoughts. Then I'll apologize for being mean, but tell my brain that I really need to sleep and I'm not going to do anything about these thoughts right now so they aren't helpful. Then I intentionally move my awareness elsewhere. Either I'll do a body scan meditation or I'll think about whatever I want to dream about. The internal "startle" of yelling at the thoughts really helps to interrupt and transition away from them. The thoughts often need that jolt and that firm boundary. But I also need to apologize because I know they're trying to help, they're just misguided lol

[@davidgood1072]

Thanks for a great discussion! It helps me learn about myself.

[@debsllewelyn230]

I love these guys so much

[@kategoff5016]

ruminating comes from a place of protection...as to say 'i dont have the tools to deal with this' but the trigger is deeper, in the present as adults we can deal...but the memory of not being able to deal is older. Its a defence mechanism, an old pattern that needs to disappear! We can deal

[@RachelWellborn-h6w]

Thank you for this, and have a blessed day 💐

[@michelleheegaard]

Oh to have a family member that you can have these types of conversations with

[@emmabobby3666]

I replay past and future dialogues with generally quite highly toxic people, often who rely on bullying, intimidating and lying to "communicate". Can i be ruminating just in the hope that i will be able to actually get through to them, when in really i kind of go into shock when i am confronted with them because i just don't know how to handle the violence and incoherence of the ways they "communicate"? It is a very very prevassive rumination, i dream about the situation and start to ruminate as soon as i am not asleep, my mind kicks in a here we go again. But it causes stress and agitation in myself and still,when faced with them, i just go into shock and am powerless to actually communicate in any constructive way.

[@non6129]

It's better to avoid those toxic people

[@sherileyva5908]

I have ruminated for as long as I can remember, every minute of every day that I am awake, on why I am not happy, what I need to do better, more of, less than etc for God to allow me to be happy. I just recently realized that this is an obsessive reel I play and not necessarily God removing my joy until I am good enough. I have just done it for so many years now I have no idea how to make it stop. I'm so mentally exhausted and it seems like everything that would actually make this stop would be some amount of work that I don't have the energy to do

[@LydiaTheBusinessWoman]

Hi, have you ever heard of a sub group of OCD called scrupulosity? It's to do with religion. As you mention God I'm just wondering. There is a guy called Mark DeJesus on KZbin who gives great insight into this.

[@sherileyva5908]

@@LydiaTheBusinessWoman no I have not but I will most definitely check into it. I'm just now looking back realizing just how unhealthy and almost cultish my views on God were. I feel like I am actually starting to break free from it since I posted that a cpl weeks ago. I'm no longer bringing God into my obsession with being happy the way I was before, but the obsession to be happy is still there. I just started CBT therapy and I've been provided some tools that are really helpful so far

[@sherileyva5908]

@@LydiaTheBusinessWoman I want to thank you so much for suggesting his channel. He describes EXACTLY what I go through. What I listened to just last night even was so helpful. I really appreciate you posting that info for me!!

[@LydiaTheBusinessWoman]

@@sherileyva5908 I'm so glad you're doing better, it's an unbelievable thing really. My son is going through it at the moment so I've been researching everything I can to help him, but it's tough. I've watched hours of Mark's videos and he describes it exactly - as you said 🙏

[@LydiaTheBusinessWoman]

@@sherileyva5908 also well done in getting therapy, my son's resisted but I've insisted he does.

[@minstrels_live]

44:30 - wow this explanation really hit me.

[@alro11]

rumination has a disassociated factor in it -👍🏻

[@juliaorpheus]

I'm going to have to rewatch this a few times. Unfortunately, I was ruminating throughout the video.

[@juliaorpheus]

😂😂

[@davidfigueroa7822]

You guys are awesome, thank you for some clarity :)

[@robertbuck7186]

I can relate to the facts. Reality, the brain always trying to "solve" in the background..or in the foreground the why's, what's, hows, who's where's when's... exploring and Seeking paths and even inventing ways to arrive at peace and "Normalize"... I would definitely not do acid.. its not my thing

[@crazycompilations2877]

thank you for sharing this ❤

[@lees971]

Thank you so much you two

[@anishappyhome]

Wow loved this for so many reasons ❤

[@jeanbrowne456]

Massively Helpful

[@AcoKrajisnik1]

Thank you so much for this...

[@sl5311]

On TT I realized I might have intrusive thoughts and horrible fears of being rejected. Ah. I am looking at this from a whole new angle with OCD. I ruminate over what I did wrong, if someone likes me and my thoughts are SO far to shake.

[@mindwake_official]

Holy cow you guys are actually amazing 🙌😳

[@SaraBeatriceOne]

"It's normal; to have weird shit arise" 😂👍

[@jesselenzrokobauer7042]

Thank you. ❤

[@adrianbaxendale4890]

AMZING WAYS

[@mykewatson5184]

Forrest... "TOTALLY..." U both 'a yas: Got It! (Almost, me, a subscriber...) but yes, totally, a view number/statistic... For Sure. Rick, I'm a "Poli-Zen"... near-enough to U/Scandi-Zen. LUV IT! Thanks! ❤ Alwayz Lurnin'.

[@leeannmansfield5254]

Soon as i wake up is the worst....

[@beauxui]

Love this video. Thank you for the content. How can we access the course to manage rumination that Rick has on his website?

[@GeorginaClinton]

What is behind Forest's Name? I like it But wonder where A person decides upon a name Like forest. ?

[@victoriaoshea4865]

25:30 So helpful

[@LIFEMATTERZ]

Wow! Lot of insight that was easy to understand. Beautiful relationship. Thank you.

[@enzofrancescoli1260]

57:01 Proud Dad😊

[@thegamingrelish9272]

I was wondering if someone can shed some light on my situation. I know I’m not the only person with this problem but I’m not so sure what it is exactly that’s causing the rumination. I ruminate about anything. From the meaning of happiness to an argument I had with a co worker, to a show that I was watching, ruminating about ego and self confidence, ruminating about something I wasn’t sure about that I had learnt in a class, ruminating about an ex, ruminating about the new city I’m in because I’ve never lived in a city before, etc.. I don’t have just one theme it can be about anything. I know that it is most likely the fear of uncertainty which is why I can ruminate about anything because anything can be uncertain. I do just observe the thoughts and let them pass but I feel like unless I find out the true fear behind it that simply meditating and being mindful won’t stop me from ruminating. where as if I knew what the fear is I could work on it. I’m doing a vipassana retreat in June to see maybe there might be some emotions or trauma that’s unconsciously and subconsciously stuck in my mind and by doing this retreat I can maybe find this core fear I’m trying to find and work with it with acceptance and hopefully let it go

[@stationerdy]

Oooh. I'm only 11 minutes in and really hoping this is gonna help me deal with the fact that when I'm trying to fall asleep lately, my brain likes to show me a little movie of what it would look like if I fell down my basement stairs. Thanks, brain. 😕

[@Matthew-u5q]

My obsessions tend to be unwanted sexual fantasies or repulsive violent thoughts. I am very religious. I desire pure thoughts twords others and it can be very distressing. Just normalize the thoughts and accept they are just thoughts not actions. I would like to turn it off like a switch. Someone said just ride anxiety like a wave at the beach and accept it , experience it

[@andfoundout]

Why can't we save this one? It would be super helpful to come back to it

[@andfoundout]

Update thank you for changing the setting! Love your work

[@felicia7756]

Allright you 2, let's try to eliminate any reference of o.c.d. and/ or a.d.h.d. to cows🙂

[@sqrfoot6548]

Shame based terror about a transgression against desired self image. Manage by avoidance, rumination and dissociation. Can't decide on a childs name for 8 years. Won't close.

[@adrianbaxendale4890]

LOVE IS ONE THATS FRIEND HELP LET GO NOW

[@hristuppiteitinu]

Forrest mentioned there is a different video that covers clinical OCD. Does anyone have a link to it? (I can't seem to find it) I have a friend who is struggling bad with it and would really like to understand it more 🙏

[@dmix2263]

My older sister and brother hid under my bed and scared the crap out of me, 29:35

[@NoQuarterIsHere]

I cry everyday due to intrusive thoughts. They are uncontrollable. I was severely traumatized. Also, no shade but, watch a calf being taken away from the cow. Watch a gorilla when their baby is taken away. They get depressed, destroyed due to the loss.

[@TheImaginarygurl]

Hi. I am really interested in this content in a professional way. I will be applying to graduate school in a few years, but I care about these topics specifically. Could we please chat?

[@ruthanneluvsvacuuming6653]

Okay so this doesn’t talk about how to stop rumination You need the workshop for that and this is an ad

[@charlesedwards5333]

My issue is in fact different. Climate change is here . The world is burning up. Are normal people not overwhelmed?

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

If I check my wallet to make sure all of my cards are there, that will prevent me from losing my cards. If I check my backpack to make sure all of my notebooks, pencils, calculator, computer, and ear buds are there, that will prevent me from losing my school supplies. Those are my ruminations. Chemical engineering professors don't understand that when they ask me to think about it and work on it, they're asking me to ruminate. If the student does not have the right input to the brain, the student can work on it to infinity and still not get the right answer. I've worked with STEM professionals on this lesson for 10 years and they still don't get it. That's why I went to the 5'th precinct because years of working with STEM professionals on these basic mental health concepts still yielded no change in their education. I concluded that the STEM professional is not able to learn lessons about mental health and diagnosed the problem as a political problem. The STEM professors told me everything Paul Ellison said is wrong, that Paul Ellison is a believer who does not understand science. Good old college try is a 3M concept. 3M'ers who give science a good old college try get promotions faster.

[@travelfun3513]

😂😅 ha ha ...that thumbnail

[@Newhouse846]

Projection is the worst and 99% of the time nothing happens

[@TheLorraineclelland]

Chewing your cud. It appears to be an unresolved issue with emotion.

[@Matthew-u5q]

I thought your video was interesting but didn't quite address the reason I watched

[@ArcherRutledge]

I haven’t actually watched this video yet. But how is Elizabeth? I need to connect with her. But I noticed she hasn’t been active on her channel or instagram in a minute. Assuming she hasn’t seen my message or has just been busy, could you let her know for me? Thank you for your time 🔺

[@JonathanRobinson11]

Not generating any thin new!!! Wow!

[@IrishMexican]

24:06

[@valuerie]

a little bothered by the "I like a neat space, I have a few OCD genes" comment - OCPD and OCD are two distinct things, most notably separated by the way each person views their behaviors. Those with OCPD tend to view their behaviors as values based and something they strive for that brings a positive effect on their life or to their personhood, whereas OCD compulsions are done out of fear, stress, and anger and do not provide positive feedback or positive emotions to the compulsor - at least not directly. I know, though, that I don't know either of you personally, and that this is a small sliver of your life being shown to me on a screen, so. Grains of salt.

[@Matthew-u5q]

Many complicated concepts, simplify for others who are not as educated as yourself. You tend to lose me

[@RussellWorkman]

The "Buddhism Brain" ???* .... a little new age guys.... really ?

[@NN-fz4pd]

This really helped me understand a lot of things in my life. Thank you. Fix your teeth though, dad.

[@NatalieCarrera-se2ld]

thank you so much for this video , makes me understand things a lot better ❤️‍🩹

[@jobartlett429]

Thank you ❤

[@lindahebb4832]

Thank you 😊

[@abellforanimalwelfare]

Thank you ❤