Psychological Defenses: WHY We Do WHAT We Do

[@ForrestHanson]

Would you be interested in a follow-up episode focused on the last topic we explored: interacting with other people's defenses, particularly in a relationship context?

[@tashamarshe635]

I love your material, any more on this Defenses info would help. You and dad are a great combo. You're great.

[@DarkVisionAfterMidnight]

Absolutely! Even if I understand my partner's defenses and why they might happen, it's still difficult to deal with it. Like, I can't just not talk about something that's important, just because it might trigger a defense. How does one go about this, and without feeling bad afterwards? How does one balance not tiptoeing all the time and also not hurting the partner? In our case we both have quite the rejection sensitivity disphoria, which can cause a series of feeling-bad sometimes. And we're both aware we need to get better at this, which probably needs confrontation as a practice, but it's difficult x)

[@laurenmelville7875]

Yes! I have been trying to navigate a relationship with a friend whose defenses have hurt me very badly. I would love to hear your guy’s thoughts on how to navigate these things!!

[@lisamertz]

Let's talk about fractal holograms. I'm not kidding!

[@jessicagarrison3337]

Absolutely!! Please, do this!

[@gfyourself688]

The best compliment I can give you guys is I've gotten to the point where I always listen to you at 1.0x speed - i.e. I don't speed it up!

[@tonyhill2318]

I could listen to you two talk all day...your intelligence and insight and kindness is a balm for my anxious soul.

[@DonTwanX]

Same.

[@xtinamagwaza82]

Both of you are so soothing and kind, the vibration of your voices is authentic. Thank you for sharing yourselves with us. ❤

[@wildoceanappaloosawomangay2535]

Love your love for each other Not wanting to embarrass you but y’all are such sweethearts Wish I had someone who loved me Thanks for passing it on 💚

[@Smootiful]

I hope you're feeling better Forrest! I forgot half-way through the video that you'd prefaced this episode with not feeling well. You and Rick are both such amazing people individually and synergistically as well! Thank you both for tackling all of the important topics you do in such non-judgemental, non-shaming, and deeply thoughtful ways. 🙏🤗

[@ForrestHanson]

I am, I appreciate it!

[@traceinpaper8606]

There's such a palpable sense of warmth between the two of you that is so endearing and it fills my heart. Thank you for pushing through Forrest and for your commitment to getting this episode out there. ❤

[@Unnusualnotice]

One topic I think that I’d love for you to dive into is Loneliness and self reliance. You guys have talked about the self and object referencing, how we view others and the world as big- and I think that’s such an important and life changing concept that could help a lot of us. Just food for thought. Thank you!

[@nath1284]

Thanks Rick for speaking to splitting, which is integral in the massively ignored/dismissed/denied and under served population of families like my own where child alienation is enacted. I'm in the UK and we're in the dark ages with our mental health and child protection services. My compassion mission is to resolve the systemic enablement of this intergenerational trauma re enactment dynamic so that children and targeted parents can get the help and support so desperately needed. All help welcome!

[@kccolby7562]

Great insightful conversation. “There already in the building” wowzers! Acknowledge, understand, accept and learn from our truth. Feel better!

[@Justin-qh8zn]

I loved this episode and the way you both explain the concepts in similar and different ways for all to understand. Wonderful people and a pleasure to watch and be involved with. Looking forward to the follow up!? 😊

[@deenusse3833]

This conversation was amazing. I'm so glad you showed up, Forrest!

[@denisekleiner7767]

You are two peas in a pod! What awesome minds! Great session! Thank you very much! I will listen to this many times to absorb some understanding of our complex minds/lives.

[@ElleJeane_]

I’m listening again for second time and saved for more times. So much packed into an episode. 😊

[@judewilson6879]

This episode is so beautiful, it’s a profound gift. Thank you so much. ❤

[@yohanryoo]

I'd love for you to make more videos focusing on psychoanalytic concepts. So helpful to hear Forrest translate Freudian terms into everyday language that we understand.

[@djer05010401]

I would LOVE to hear the two of you talk at length about fractals in relation to psychological concepts! The topic came up briefly in your interview with Dr. Richard Schwartz and it was fascinating to think about personality in that context.

[@leila595]

Oh, I love the web of information that Dr. Rick provides and his tone of voice, while doing this. Super episode, kudos to this "powerful dynamic duo"! :D :D

[@mrfacespace]

This is a very comprehensive video that explores and explains some important and realistic concepts about human behaviour in and out of the therapeutic space

[@holistikirsty3167]

Great episode thank you! I'm also in for the fractal holograms conversation next time! 😁

[@wendyholmes1848]

Loved the conversation. It would be great to hear more on how to work with people's defenses.

[@clarapinto2016]

Very helpful. Thank you so much! Good work 🙏

[@jackiemoffat-re3vp]

I loved this topic and l learnt so much about my own defences. This talk was so informative and so we’ll done. Thank you both.

[@iw9338]

As the 10th of 11 kids along with alcoholic granny, im having difficulty with feeling stuck😮. Time to journal and find a good counselor 😅

[@leila595]

I loved that it was more conceptual in nature!

[@missanthrop0cene]

Wondering if you can make some shorts of key details in these? I love the videos but sometimes I don’t have time to watch all the way through ❤

[@ForrestHanson]

We post clips on IG and TikTok, could add Shorts as well. Have also thought about posting longer form highlights on KZbin (5-10 min edited clips), if people are interested I'd look into it.

[@erinhappy-go-lucky5040]

That is a great idea! In the meantime, there are keynotes for each episode. You can always go toward the end of the video, where Forrest does a recap of the episode. It displays the “bottom line” of the whole video.

[@Alphacentauri819]

Please don’t do shorts! I LOVE that you delve so deeply and don’t go the route of “fast food fixes” that so many do. Just because the medium is there, just because society goes in that direction…doesn’t mean we need to. I listen to these while I’m getting my work done in my kitchen. I love the forms. If you don’t have the time, break the video up yourself…watch (or listen) to some now, some later.

[@Alphacentauri819]

@@ForrestHansonI love your format. I love your guests. Please don’t cave and become like the others! You stand apart and have your own unique way. Please don’t become a “fast food” option! I love your 10 course, take your time, layered, deep dives, “meals”. 💛

[@smadm2437]

@@Alphacentauri819 well said. Let's slow everything down and take our time with matters to us. When I don't have much time, I watch small chunks which helps me reflect on what was discussed, just like you suggested.

[@dorishaus400]

Loved this going to listen again! Thanks for never missing a Monday!! 😇💖🤙🏼

[@KellysMagicalRealm]

I love this podcast! Two brilliant healers and your a father and son duo! Thank you for your help ❤

[@clare5571]

Get well soon Forrest

[@kristenwolch]

Fractal holograms (is that it?) Parts relating to/ mirroring the whole. I'd love to see an expansion on this thought. You did lose me but it sounds intuitive and I'd appreciate more insight from the both of you. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the world and making it a better place.

[@sarmag4623]

Fractal holograms. Odd it came up here as I have been exploring similar themes via interbeing, Indra's net, co-creation.

[@ACraig-og8tn]

this was fantastic! Thank you both so much!

[@GuyMathews]

I really enjoyed your "Psychological Defenses: Why We Do What We Do" podcast -- sophisticated aspects of the psychological model of self clearly presented. Thank you. This evening I happened to watch the movie "Where the Wild Things Are". This was a full length movie rendition of the Maurice Sendak children's book by the same name that had long been a favorite of my kids growing up. The central character in the movie, Max, seemingly about 8, is wrestling with integrating his "wild parts". Coming on the heels of listening to your podcast the symbolic depiction of the development of the ego and the interplay between the id and superego was so artfully and to me accurately realized it made your podcast come alive, almost as if it had been written as a realization of your podcast. Check it out. Keep up the great work.

[@iw9338]

Thanks very much. This is very helpful 🙂👍👍

[@peacefulisland67]

Sheesh, I'd love to become a normal neurotic! (I think?) Most of life escapes me due to CPTSD and an ACE score of 10. It was obvious that circumstances had challenged me, but I was and am so good at compartmentalizing the bigger reality escaped me. Thank goodness or surely life would have put me down. Now, any ability I have to stay present is so unfamiliar as to make me suspicious of it! Plus, it's unreliable. This poor little nervous system of mine lives on the edge. An idea that has relieved me somewhat of shame around that is the sensitivity isn't all mine. Much of it is the culmination of others' unwitnessed and unprocessed experiences. It helps me to know that in my healing over decades, people who came before me and those who walk with me will potentially also find relief and clarity. If I can't overcome my sense of unworthiness in a moment of complete shutdown due to overwhelm and misplaced guilt, there is sometimes courage to get up and move for the sake of those who could not or can not. This also builds first-hand evidence of my worthiness and inherent value.

[@nath1284]

You are inspiring to be able to speak so openly and vulnerably about this. C-PTSD here too and admiration for all fellow travelers. I read somewhere that those whose journey is hardest have the biggest gifts to offer the world. Your mission is of great importance and the world is a better place with you in it. Go well 🙏

[@pamwatkins4855]

I missed the end, such Marvelous, people,blessed, and me needed it!😊❤❤❤

[@jude4247]

I am learning and identifying so much with these sessions. When you talked about a child not being able to be ambivalent....it explains so much of what I wrestled with in that there were parts of my Dad I admired and parts I loathed. I really feel as you further explained that he as a child learned to push down any vulnerability as his dad was an alcoholic and his mom mentally ill and he was the oldest of 4 kids. He went on to have 4 kids himself of which I am 3rd born and I learned to stuff down vulnerability as well.

[@iw9338]

That makes good sense to me 😮

[@celedoniaz]

very insightful, thank you

[@MarcinaRiley]

Hats off to you! This was both endearing and concise. If you could talk more about siding with the defense (and how that would look in different kinds of relationships) that would be helpful.

[@hayleeromrell3000]

Loved this. Thank you!❤

[@Asongfromme]

37:08 thank you Rick 👏🏼

[@NolaCaffey]

To bridge the gap between consciousness and unconsciousness (past and present, psychology and spirituality, I and thou) with fewer defenses (friction), consider this - competition and cooperation are not mutually exclusive, but form a continuum requiring balance. The human condition requires us to do both at the same time, usually utterly unaware of this reality. If we ask the question (of ourselves and then each other) in every situation, we would find common ground if not precise agreement. After all, regardless of why, assholery consists of competing and/or cooperating dysfunctionally, unconscious of the balance. This is why defenses come up when behavior and beliefs are challenged. It usually doesn't work to moralize about unconscious processes, challenging the shadow directly. Balancing cooperation and competition overtly can be done from the present moment, in the present situation, the present relationship. It ain't that hard and is much cheaper than psychoanalysis. We can have that conversation to clarify our needs and intentions.

[@mmv987]

Wow, gave me a lot to think about, thank you

[@melusine826]

🤔 i always thought the concept of "sublimation " or sublimating energy/feelings was closer to oppressing feelings than a healthy (or healthier) redirection of. So much food for thought today (as always)

[@Heyu7her3]

Uh-oh, defense mechanisms... y'all calling me out 😭

[@Mik.189]

Thanks 👍

[@malemaline]

How come Rick's info isn't in the show notes?

[@peacefulisland67]

Aw, Forrest, what about self care? Being sick sucks. May your recovery be swift and your suffering be eased by ice cream and smoothies!! 😃🥰🤗😋💓🙏🍦🥛🍓🥤

[@melusine826]

How have i never heard of Ana?

[@mailman5865]

The barbarians are already in the building!!! Sooooooo deeeeeep!!!!

[@patriciacestare232]

I defend myself all the time..I hate being bullied

[@chumpchange1212]

why is the sons head two two times bigger than the dad's head? chronological reasoning?

[@ForrestHanson]

My brain is twice as big 🤯

[@Alphacentauri819]

@@ForrestHanson😂awesome reply!

[@nath1284]

😂 Nice response!

[@natgreen5903]

❤❤❤❤

[@lightfaeries7]

Like you have life wisdom , still wet behind the ears

[@nath1284]

Have you noticed who Forrest's dad is? The fact that lived experience and all the clear research are processed and communicated so wonderfully clearly is unsurprising. Forrest has done the work and we're blessed to have him.