Foster Care / What About the Holidays?

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Be The Village
P.O. Box 348
Maineville, OH 45039

[@rhiannonparent8581]

"What was your favorite part besides the food?" "Eggs.. And potatoes..... And cheese!" 😂😂 Darcy is a kid after my own heart

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🤦🏻‍♀️

[@ascrabtree7639]

I love getting to see more of miss A and her personality (obviously within limits). She comes across as being a really sweet person😁

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We are trying! She loves to be involved and have her voice heard.

[@hberri7772]

Abbie 2002 me too

[@hberri7772]

She has a beautiful voice and is so sweet

[@karinrodning7173]

Yeah that would be great! If she'd be willing to talk more, that'd be so cool to hear her perspective. And maybe if she could answer more general questions about foster care. Yes of course all while respecting her boundaries.

[@AlexiusDenelle16]

Her hair looks so thick and healthy 👌🏾. She’s taking amazing care of her hair with her protective styles 😍

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yes!! I told her you said that 🤗

[@DaniDani-fx5qq]

Im so sorry that Miss A had to miss a visit with her family during the holidays. That is something that should be worked on with the system. I cant imagine parents that love their children not getting to see them for Christmas.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

So, so true.

[@chelsiecotten995]

In my area, in most cases, caregivers are allowed to supervise visits. If a caregiver wants to supervise a family visit on a holiday, I would gladly encourage it. Us staff work so hard and deal with so much. We need breaks and we need to be able to spend the holidays off with our families. I feel for the parents and kids who don't get to see each other on the holidays but I am glad my company gives us those days off. Employee well being is very important. Companies need to treat their employees right in order to try to prevent burnout and turnover. More turnover leads to a child's case manager changing more times, which research says leads to worse outcomes. Besides, sadly many caregivers don't want their kids having visits on the holiday because of their own plans.

[@chelsiecotten995]

I am not saying not to be concerned for families or kids not getting to see each other on a holiday but maybe work to come up with a solution instead of just commenting that it needs to be changed. Maybe more caregivers and Foster parents can be open to supervising visits when it's safe to do so. Maybe a relative it family friend can be background checked and approved to supervise visits so it might be easier to do without agency staff. I don't mind people wanting this to be better for kids and families but please don't expect staff to work on a holiday because we have it hard enough and we need to be treated fairly.

[@007linkstar]

Wow, I feel famous 🙈 Thank you very much for answering my questions and for being so open about Foster Care. We are all learning a lot from you! I'm very sorry for Miss A and her family, it's very sad they couldn't see each other. I would have thought that because their visitations were on those days, they would be able to see them. By the way, yes, my name is pronounced how you said it the second time, but most people don't know how to say it so whenever I'm in the US I just pronounce it like Miss A said it. But then at Starbucks they never get the name right. You made my day, thanks a million!!!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Your questions were perfect and I knew I wanted to address them, thank you for reaching out! Unfortunately, the center that facilitates visitations operates like a business and therefore is closed but I agree... I think they should see if people would continue to work for the sake of these families. Support the families in this hard time. So glad I got it right! I had a friend in school who pronounced it that way so I’m always cautious when I see a name come up that is spelled that way 😉

[@007linkstar]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity Where I live foster care works quite different, but other people from "at risk" groups usually have special plans for Christmas time. For example, families financially struggling and that get weekly food in our diocese (Catholic region), receive special Christmas food (traditional food and sweets). Shelters have dinners where you can go to eat and/or help, etc. If I were a worker in that center, I would for sure work those days!!! I think special working hours could be arranged so workers can go home in time for dinner preparation AND kids can get to see their families. My cousin's home is right next to a "foster care residence" (a place for kids who don't want to live with foster parents or who can't find foster parents) and they get a special visit from Santa. My cousin has gone with her three kids and they were given a gift too! Anyway, merry Christmas/happy holidays and Thank you once again for all that you do!!!

[@chelsiecotten995]

I work for the child welfare system. I supervise visitation and my company was also off Christmas Eve and Christmas day and New year's Eve and New year's day as well. Everyone, including case managers, visitation supervisors, case manager supervisors, our directors, and our staff in other programs, was given those days off. As much as I feel for the kids and their families and would love them to get to spend time together on those days, I am thankful that my company does not expect us to work those days. I do feel for the kids and families, but we (meaning the staff) need to be able to have breaks and be with our own families and it's not practical for those who have multiple family gatherings to go to or those who travel out of town to work a part day and just get home for dinner. We work hard and deal with a lot. I know no one was saying anything poorly about staff off for the holiday and I appreciate the concern by others over kids not getting those visits on the holidays but I just want to put my perspective out there because people bash the system so often but don't understand what circumstances and reasons go into everything. Staff need time away to rest and decompress and to be with their own families. The staff need to be treated well by their employers to be able to do the best job they can.

[@livingwithcancer1245]

@@chelsiecotten995I feel that if foster parents are comfortable with supervising a holiday visit they should be permitted too. I mean if something were to happen they arw capable of calling authorities for help. Most families though would be so thankful for the visits that they wouldnt cause an issue. And those visit be at a mutually agreed upon place.

[@chelsiecotten995]

@@livingwithcancer1245 I agree!

[@shawnsmith3335]

That really sucks that the center has to be open in order for the kids to get their family visits. And it really is NOT fair to the kids. Could there seriously not be a supervised visitation somewhere else? Really glad Miss A at least got to celebrate with her siblings. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I hear ya!

[@chelsiecotten995]

In my area, in most cases, caregivers (whether relative or Foster family) are allowed to supervise the visits. Many relatives do but not all. A few Foster families do, but most either aren't able because of working full time and not wanting to do it on the weekend or aren't willing to at all. If more caregivers were willing to supervise the visits (when safe to do so obviously) this would help a lot!!

[@dianamcmullen3659]

Darcy was the star of this one... "Eggs, potatoes, cheese"...and she loves us! Adorable.

[@vanessa240808]

I got another kiddo in October and her visits are unsupervised now, so she got to spend Christmas with her mama.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That’s awesome ❤️

[@theguntersadopt3268]

We just celebrated our first christmas with Jacob. And we saw alot of mix feelings with him. But overall he was really happy. I think when it comes to how children are or feel it will all depend on the child. Also listening while in my office.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

How exciting! Mixed emotions is an excellent way of describing it. And you’ve just got to know your kid and watch for signs that they are hurting and do what you can to heal any heart break ❤️

[@Thesingle_momlife]

Most of the foster children I’ve had get all day visits with family. Placement this Christmas had visit Christmas Eve, Christmas Day from 8am to 7pm and regular supervise visits the day after.

[@vanessa240808]

Same with us, one kiddo was gone all day.

[@TheSilverdown]

I was in foster care for an entire school year, the family I was with was nice. However, getting Christmas gifts from people I never even met (their other family) was kind of awkward. I also didn't get to see my family on Christmas that year, but they just extended the next visit by an additional hour to make up for that day.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I didn’t think of that, how awkward it would be. Great insight!

[@karinrodning7173]

I really love your videos. I hope that they inspire more people to become foster parents.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That’s our goal ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@livingwithcancer1245]

I love how you all made Miss A part pf your family and intro.

[@JL-iu7fk]

Holy MYGOODNESS! FIRST TIME I HAVE REALLY HEARD MISSAY SPEAK! ❤ year speaking voice❤She has a future in that. She's so articulate, enunciates words so clearly. I'm impressed. Write some into r/t being a foster or books for little ones & narroarrate !

[@katiemiller1587]

You guys have inspired me to wanna foster when I’m older and I thank you guys for that

[@hberri7772]

I love you guys! Also so happy Miss A got to see her siblings over the holiday

[@jojoscircusss1670]

I've commented a few times on your channel. My daughter is in foster care (long back story) and I just found out on Xmas day that she was moved to another Foster family back in Sept. And she was very upset. Thank you for this video.

[@rosebud0391]

That's so sad about supervisions not be available for the holidays. That is one of the few perks of a group home. Sometimes they have the flexibility to facilitate supervised visits if the visitation centers are not open during holidays. I think it would be good to mention in future videos that special acceptions are made for holidays if the parents have unsupervised visits and passes (if this is indeed true for your state). In San Diego, CA if a young person only had weekend passes or unsupervised visits on a certain day they can get special permission to do a three-day pass/visits during a special holiday or when on school breaks. I wish you all a prosperous new year!

[@rachelmartinez2868]

You parent with such humility and grace. Miss A and all your kids are so lucky!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

❤️

[@Ashleylikesbunnies]

Miss A has such beautiful hair! I love it, she’s stunning! 💛💛

[@hberri7772]

Oh my goodness Miss A I love your hair like that it’s so cute!!!

[@kriskass5878]

Merry Christmas!!!

[@megganmcclincey1971]

Y’all are doing a great job! Merry Christmas to all of you! ❤️🎄

[@rissadawn2047]

Hope you guys had a great Christmas! So excited and appreciative of the fact you share this journey with us! You always me me laugh and warm my heart AND remind me there are stiff good selfless ppl out there

[@roryroseberry9582]

I'm so sorry Miss A didn't get to see her bio family during the holidays. I hope ya'll had a happy Christmas anyways.

[@deblavan4190]

Love how Miss A interacts with the family! Just love her and your family! Hope you had a great Christmas and a wonderful New year!!!

[@squeeerle]

You guys are all so sweet.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🤗

[@imogenlee2508]

When Miss A is back with her family, if her parents give permission, would she be allowed to be on this channel and show her face?

[@mariannejennisch9293]

That is a good question. We have all grown to love miss a. Sorry you didn’t get to see your family it is hard when it’s during the week.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I don’t think that is something we will encourage until she’s of age.

[@saml815]

@Silver Wolf Productions Meaning when she's a legal adult. Which is probably for the best, that way Miss A can truly decide for herself if she wants that kind of exposure and attention.

[@imogenlee2508]

Be The Village I completely understand!

[@rosebud0391]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity smart! This is good in case she reenters care you don't want conflict of interest and doing so may also jeopardize future placements. I appreciate that you are so protective of Miss A.

[@y.p.4490]

Miss A's Afro is my favourite of all her hairstyles :)

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

👍🏽🙌🏼🤗

[@misslindsaythegreat]

Hope you had an amazing holiday, such an inspiring family

[@shannoncrider1902]

Curious how a situation would go,... according to state law and foster care....idk if there are any rules when it comes to holidays. If foster parents don't do certain holidays for their personal reasons/religious beliefs, are they obligated to do something for the foster child? Or if the foster child comes from a background where they don't do holidays, but their foster family does, what do they do?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

In our agency, kids have the right to religious freedom and as foster parents you are required to support their beliefs or absence of beliefs.

[@emmap.7314]

I am a treatment foster care worker in Wisconsin and I was wondering if I could pick your brain and miss A’s brain for any advice she would have or you guys would have in regards to what she needs from her social worker in order to feel supported and what you guys need from your social worker in order to feel supported? Thank you for sharing your journeys with all of us!!!!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

This is great! I’ll see if we can add this to our videos for January.

[@emmap.7314]

Be The Village that would be fantastic! Thank you so much!!!! I’m looking forward to hearing what you guys need from a social worker and what Miss A needs from a social worker, I’m looking forward to learning from all of you 🙂

[@stephaniemarler9601]

Were you able to incorporate any of Miss A's family traditions into your holiday celebrations?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We did our best!

[@estherbarnett-krause3494]

Couldn't childrens services maybe for next year have special Christmas with their family visit even if it is early in December. I know when I was little in the foster care system here in Australia that welfare use to have a party at the end of each year for Christmas at say a park or zoo and the biological families of children in foster care in were given the choice to attend give presents and catch up with their children if they so wished. A lot of the welfare workers would even put on a bbq and games with Christmas gifts and it was just special time just a thought and idea that might help for next year if any of miss A's case mangers or any other child protective service workers are watching this channel and wish to have a few ideas 😀😎😀

[@seifalah0626]

So sorry to hear about the visitation issues. Question though, do the visitations have to be supervised? Is that one of the reasons you have to work around the agency schedule?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I can’t directly answer this, but most of the time visitations are supervised until the case is closer to reunification.

[@seifalah0626]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity what you have given me is a great answer. Thank you

[@tenner4817]

wait if miss As parents visitation is already on Tuesday Wednesday why couldn't they see her those days?

[@kelly1827]

That visitation center should be thought of like any other life sustaining service and open on holidays. When I worked as a paramedic working at least some of the holidays was part of the job, you know?

[@chelsiecotten995]

I'm sorry, but no we are not the same as EMS and police and hospitals. It is hard enough to get people to stay in these jobs. The turnover is high and that affects the kids and families. If you make everyone work holidays (other than those on call for emergencies) you will lose even more great social workers. This job is way too hard to have to work holidays too. I work for the child welfare system. I supervise visitation and my company was also off Christmas Eve and Christmas day and New year's Eve and New year's day as well. Everyone, including case managers, visitation supervisors, case manager supervisors, our directors, and our staff in other programs, was given those days off. As much as I feel for the kids and their families and would love them to get to spend time together on those days, I am thankful that my company does not expect us to work those days. I do feel for the kids and families, but we (meaning the staff) need to be able to have breaks and be with our own families and it's not practical for those who have multiple family gatherings to go to or those who travel out of town to work a part day and just get home for dinner. We work hard and deal with a lot. I know no one was saying anything poorly about staff off for the holiday and I appreciate the concern by others over kids not getting those visits on the holidays but I just want to put my perspective out there because people bash the system so often but don't understand what circumstances and reasons go into everything. Staff need time away to rest and decompress and to be with their own families. The staff need to be treated well by their employers to be able to do the best job they can. Please consider how having vacations and holidays off is not only well deserved by those working hard for these kids often to the detriment of themselves and their own families, but how additionally these breaks help one do a better job and serve the kids and families better.

[@chelsiecotten995]

Additionally, in my area, caregivers are allowed to supervise visits in most cases, but most Foster families are unwilling to. Sometimes the circumstances make it so that they can't or can't on a regular basis, like if they work full time but the parents aren't available on weekends. But most of the time, they don't want to either because they don't want to give up time on their weekend to do it or they don't want to interact and have a relationship with their kid's family or they are scared or whatever. (Not referencing Be the village here at all. I don't know their circumstances. In some states caregivers either aren't allowed to supervise or aren't always told that they can. Just speaking in what I've seen in general in my area, where it is allowed.) Just throwing another option out there for holiday visits to be able to happen. (Again in some places... Not telling them to do this.) :)

[@dylannicholas6921]

What would you do if you had a foster child whose religion etc. celebrated a holiday other than the one that you celebrate?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

In our agency, kids have the right to religious freedom and as foster parents you are required to support their beliefs or absence of beliefs.

[@dylannicholas6921]

Be The Village right but like does that mean celebrating the holiday with them or?

[@chelsiecotten995]

@@dylannicholas6921 In my area, the foster family is expected to help the child in celebrating the holiday they celebrate, if it is different than your own. We need to be supportive, respectful, and helpful to the child's needs.

[@aysha3366]

love your family ❤️

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

❤️

[@kierralataille5687]

U are my favorite KZbinr and u don't live to far from me not that it matters tho

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

❤️

[@E.tilley]

Would something like a Skype or FaceTime call be allowed with any of her family?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Depends on the child.

[@gracebright2695]

I hated Christmas in foster care

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yeah :/ it’s not where most kids want to be

[@gracebright2695]

I was in foster care from 6 until I was

[@gracebright2695]

Untel I was 17

[@melissastofcik2123]

Do you attend a church?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We do not, we are not affiliated with a religion. We adapt and accommodate foster kiddos who do.

[@dacarmenmontanez6510]

𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎❤️?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🤷🏻‍♀️

[@dacarmenmontanez6510]

Be The Village Kᴋ🖤ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ ʙᴛᴡ.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

❤️❤️❤️ we love you!

[@dacarmenmontanez6510]

Be The Village awh I love y’all too I will love to be y’all biggest fan ever🥰🥳.

[@ajlev85]

Is Miss A the oldest of her siblings?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yes!

[@megansanchez2796]

I don't like that you lie to your children about santa

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🤷🏻‍♀️