The Day Today - Newspaper Headlines

Chris Morris

[@HaRDc0r3z]

i love how he points at every headline... like there it is... there's the headline.

[@stephenmcconnell1000]

😂

[@mikearchibald744]

One of the funniest is on day four when he can't even bring himself to say 'here's tomorrows headlines', he just kind of mumbles and starts reading.

[@Spirit-Of-The-Age]

In true 'Paxman' style 😂

[@VacantHaven]

Due to a printing error, tomorrows Guardian is full of water! Priceless 🤣

[@Jlipnicki]

The one true story.

[@jazzhands7771]

​@@Jlipnicki😂

[@ABW941]

I didnt get that one. If water is a misprint what was originally ment to be printed?

[@jazzhands7771]

​@@ABW941😴

[@ive3336]

His delivery is unmatched, what a legend

[@markpollard4703]

Absolute comedy genius. Accept no imitators.

[@stephenmcconnell1000]

I love how when he says 'Elastic song strangles Hucknall', his facial expression suggests that it was sadly bound to have happened eventually

[@stevensutton4677]

That line I would say is the most "Paxman" in delivery.

[@in.articulo.mortis]

"Those are the headlines, god how I wish they weren't."

[@returnoftheredeye]

Gotta respect Mothercare for admitting the crazed wolves in store were a bad idea.

[@MCBhangramuffin]

"feel my nose and put my specs there roars drunken Major"

[@InnerLeader]

"Crazed Wolves in Store, A Bad Mistake Admit Mothercare." priceless!

[@kisbie]

“And there’s the same story in The Sun.”

[@AncientAbsWisdom]

Its just a beautifully crafted gag........

[@patriceaqa288]

@@AncientAbsWisdom Burt Reynolds escapes with a dodgem and eluded police on a low speed chase

[@MadKDog]

"Child made of paint wins by-election " funniest. What a show this was!

[@kisbie]

Strong but nothing beats “Fleetwood Mac Buried In Dog Avalanche”

[@NeckbeardPr1me]

2:20 can't even be bothered to finish his sentence 🤣

[@johnking5174]

Paxman often did the same thing on Newsnight

[@AFGuidesHD]

@@johnking5174 pretty sure this guy is imitating Paxman, all his mannerisms in all the clips I've seen are exactly like paxman

[@johnking5174]

@@AFGuidesHD He had a mix of mostly Paxman but with a bit of Michael Buerk thrown in, especially when he would raise his voice at the end of a sentence.

[@spectranwolfinfusion]

"... there he is looking wretched..."

[@LA-yd6kk]

I don't want to beat about the bush. I fucking love you Chris Morris.

[@garethonthetube]

Come back Chris Morris, The News needs you!

[@FourJamLions]

his new Film should be out Next Month.

[@AuroDHikoshi]

He probably couldn't beat the real news

[@oscartravis5740]

Portillo's face felt like guts, says girl

[@TheYorkie72]

Best one 😆

[@ignatcommaignatov]

Due to a printing error tomorrow's Guardian is full of water. 😂 how do they come up with these

[@matta728]

0:37 How he gives that Bishop a little tickle, the subtle yet outrageous comedy is nonstop 😂

[@raehik]

it's unfair how funny this bit is. chris morris reading out silly made-up headlines is somehow prime comedy I don't get how they do it

[@klonoa48]

Some say Burt Reynolds is still going.

[@zubairkhalid670]

I think he may have stopped now

[@user-uw3fr7cd9z]

Jack Horner🐐👑

[@itwontcomeout5678]

Lol

[@LoopThemeParkAdventures]

There he is, looking wretched.

[@robair67]

After 28 years I've only just noticed Morris' pronunciation of "avalanche". First time I hadn't been laughing at that precise moment!

[@yorkie471x3]

John Fasharnoo...

[@morningstar9233]

Regular wolves ok, i can see that. Maybe even feral cats. But crazed wolves!? Mothercare deserve everything they get.

[@SpamNapkin]

he just came in and went -0- and went out

[@jessicaellen3521]

omg you an eua

[@alexanderthomas-owen613]

1:11 Those tabs actually seem like a good idea. As long as there's no printing errors in it...

[@watcherzero5256]

In which case it would be full of water....

[@tortis6342]

I don’t know, if you ask me that idea doesn’t hold any water.

[@goldenboy06]

I love the way he can’t even be bothered to say ‘headlines’ at 2:21

[@andrewnewens41]

Swollen chairman unusualness.

[@kenmills30]

The New Zealand Prendergast hahaha!! Elastic song strangles Hucknall

[@MrEAus]

I prefer the New Zealand Cobweb myself 😄

[@isbestlizard]

Due to a printing error, tomorrows Gauradian is full of water ahhahah

[@evelau]

Thanks for compiling those!

[@mucusmayhem1118]

"Are these the real Birmingham bombers?" 😂 "Police chief crushes lizard with whistle" 😁 "Old woman killed by little glass planet" 😂

[@oscartravis5740]

"...there he is looking wretched."

[@jessicaellen3521]

omg

[@jessicaellen3521]

you an eua

[@SKa-tt9nm]

Due to a printing error tomorrow’s Guardian is full of water.

[@robertrichardson4699]

Pure talent, got me in stitches 🤣

[@surreptitious5869]

We need this back, Morris where are you? Now is the time.

[@WeaselKing1000]

The Express, true to their general editorial standards, misspelled 'pirouette'.

[@kisbie]

Isn’t it usually the Guardian that’s full of mossprince?

[@markchambers3833]

@@kisbie *The Grauniad

[@paulmorphy6187]

"Old woman killed by little glass planet" 🤣🤣🤣

[@salemhamrah4505]

thaks a lot .

[@TelecastPropellor96]

thak yoursel

[@carlgamble480]

Just looking at the other headlines on the papers and it's hard to tell if they're real or not; 'Fergie leads Everest trek', 'This para cut of his enemies' ears', 'confessions of a true blue bastard', 'Carol Thatcher, is she about to emigrate?' Probably are...?

[@kisbie]

The Sarah Ferguson one is real. The then Duchess of York lead an expedition to climb Mt. Everest in October 1993, it says here, so about six months before TDT was first shown. Quite who Peter Collins is supposed to be and how he relates to that story I don’t know. If it’s any of the blokes on Wikipedia with that name, it’s most likely to be the record producer and former business partner of Pete Waterman (not the Formula 1 driver). But probably just some guy Coogan or Baynham knew.

[@emjackson2289]

West Midlands Police are still asking those children "Are you the real Birmingham bombers?"

[@yorkie471x3]

"Last one on drugs is a queer" yells Portillo...

[@mmjackk667]

"Plastic surgeon arrested with a stash of stolen mouths." :))))

[@nnneh1]

Great job. Thanks!

[@mucusmayhem1118]

Elastic song strangles Hucknall 😂

[@christschinwon]

FACT ME TIL' I FART

[@abbaszaidi8371]

Thanks Sue Lawley

[@jessicaellen3521]

omg you and eua

[@kisbie]

I wonder if any of those newspaper props have survived. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if they had gone to the trouble of printing complete spoof editions.

[@eddbullen1358]

I was waiting for Bearded Cleric in Oily Chin Insertion

[@SteveThePster]

Tabs, for ease of turning the pages!

[@danbilling]

Where now for man raised by puffins

[@mattponikvar4944]

The way he looks at the camera with a slight disgust while shouting "Robin Cock"

[@mez7736]

"Bouncing elephantiasis women destroys central Portsmouth"

[@changer_of_ways_999]

"Wait. What?" is my reaction to all of these.

[@RalphBrooker-gn9iv]

The Hull Aphrodite 😂😂😂

[@nickparton5663]

"... there he is looking wretched"

[@kevparker4604]

‘Boiled dog could do maths’ claims experimenter

[@coredump27]

What on earth were Mothercare thinking??!

[@simonatford1]

Lassoed bat wins Booker!

[@robertcreighton4635]

Lynn truss laughing on roof of 10 downing Street shouting 'I've turn the heat up to max, you plebs'. More on that later but first are geese gay?

[@ryanwest9039]

Russia elects cobweb

[@vladraduandrei5227]

0:50 those small kids are still older than me since I think this was filmed before 95 when I was born...wow time fucking flies.

[@theothermagneticaesthetic]

he just came in and went .. 0 and went out

[@raymondsinclair4]

he does my fav humour

[@TheYorkie72]

Heseltine fading fast...

[@Vojife]

0:53

[@jondellar]

“Old woman killed by little glass planet” 😂😂😂

[@FourJamLions]

no probs :)

[@chrnovids]

I heard that Joe Pasquale impaled himself on a moose in Skegness and came instantly here again

[@patchso]

But I only want one pint!

[@r3q4re80]

Now I want to change my name to Drowned Italian, emigrate to Europe, and become a musician.

[@ShahPhilLeotardo]

Fleetwood Mac buried in Dog Avalanche 😂

[@Mike20216]

Just brilliant 🤩

[@NJJ77]

1:52 I did LOL 😆

[@MLB9000]

Sacked Chimney Sweep Pumps Boss Full Of Mayonnaise

Pregnant man, life eventually imitates art, kind of

[@exeterjedi6730]

Arafat ablaze in kerosene oyster hell. This pops into my mind periodically.

[@jesoby]

Got Paxman’s dismissive tone to a T

[@finanzferdinand9874]

Titles donated by the Daily Sport no doubt

[@ethansrednaus8088]

There he is, looking wretched

[@colonelshoe7916]

legitimate BBC headline today: "Windsor Castle treason arrest man inspired by Star Wars"

[@neilgodfrey2669]

So all of the headlines segments for each episode were filmed at the same time? Wearing the same suit is a giveaway!

[@johnking5174]

Chris wore nearly the same pattern of suit for the whole series. The Day Today was never structured to be individual weekly editions, they were all filmed in one recording blocking, with six 30 minute episodes then edited together for transmission, however the headlines were recorded individually, as they all led into a strange closing sequence each week.

[@chadroeder]

gospel

[@finanzferdinand9874]

All over Jeremy Paxman

[@BossySwan]

*GRISLY BUT GRIPPING*

[@allwrighty100]

Do you think mind-altering drugs are used in the writing of this? I like to think not.

[@yorkie471x3]

What a fookin disgrace!!!

[@robdean704]

Portillos face looks like guts says girl..

[@stephensmith799]

So many more to be written… Priti Patel Jailed for 14 Years for Embarrassing Priti Patel

[@eIucidate]

Would Boris Johnson make a better Boris Johnson than Boris Johnson? - Question Time, Harry & Paul

[@lyxnick]

You know humanity has gone backwards when the headline "Cliff Richard is pregnant" could be a real story today and people would cheer it.

[@gordonfreeman-g5w]

😂😂

[@ArcanePath360]

10 years later, and that last headline could actually pass as a real headline now, in a legit newspaper. Parody has become reality.

[@octobell5344]

0:49