Friday Reads: Good Books and Gratitude

[@LaughingStockfarm1]

No, you won’t regret it. Both of my parents were fundamentally relationally unhealthy people, and there was no way to have healthy boundaries or relationship with them. I cut my father out of my life in my 30’s, and I was healthier for it. When he died there was nothing but a sense of relief that he wouldn’t show up again in my life. Same with my mother. I don’t hope you reconnect with your father, I hope that you continue to have a healthy, happy life however that manifests. Life is hard enough without toxic people in it. Peace and ease to you and Joel. 💕

[@SupposedlyFun]

Thank you so much. That last paragraph is perfectly what I would want or need to hear from people, and it doesn’t happen nearly enough. ❤️

[@LaughingStockfarm1]

@@SupposedlyFun ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[@johannaochbockerna]

Thank you so much Greg for bringing up the subject of not speaking to a parent and how hard that can be during the holidays. I myself am not speaking to either of my parents and the holidays especially these in Nov-Dec are the toughest because they are so family oriented and it's expected of you to spend them with family so I get a lot of questions and mean comments when people learn that I spend them alone because I don't have a relationship with my mum and dad any more. Also thank you for the book recommendations today, added A Council of Dolls to my TBR.

[@deborahapel7325]

I appreciate your vulnerability on this subject so much. After my mother died in 2001, I was saying similar hurtful things to friends who had fraught relationships with parents. It didn’t take me too long to understand how deeply wrong my comments had been.

[@marciajohansson769]

RE: Comment sections I posted one comment on a website about my daughter's experience with Vitamin D supplementation... There were 2.7K likes and 360 replies, most positive, some critical... This experience has given me a greater appreciation for how hard it must be for people who have channels and the ability to respond to comments. I will admit I love having a reply to something I have commented on but now understand it is not possible to respond to everyone!!!! I appreciate your sentiments about family stuff. I have a fractured family and I being the "diplomatic one" "the fixer" "the middle child" can appreciate the maintenance of healthy boundaries. It is the ultimate expression of self care to do this for yourself. Holiday's are tough anyway so your suggestions about avoiding certain comments. Just listen or what now is expressed as "holding space" for them. Love the sound of Teddy snoring... My dopamine hit of Teddy today contributing to my joy. Keep it coming. Chatty bits included.

[@AntisocialAuntie]

The best thing that happened to me was when i was disowned by the woman who gave birth to me after i told the truth about some of the stuff that happened in that house. People told me the same thing because "she's your mom". Lots of love from the Pacific Northwest 🧡

[@SupposedlyFun]

I’m sorry that it happened to you but I’m so glad you found your own way. ❤️

[@AntisocialAuntie]

@@SupposedlyFun Weirdly I think life is even more fantastic now since I had that experience to compare my "today" life to. "Blood is thicker than water" is not the original quote. "Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" means even ancient dudes understood the importance of found families 😊🧡

[@SupposedlyFun]

@@AntisocialAuntie I love that!

[@fatimamuhammad3425]

Teddy is the star of Friday reads🤩🥰

[@AvAlanchian]

Mental health is so much more important than a lot of people realise, often you can’t afford to have those toxic relationships, it just isn’t worth it. You have plenty of people who love you, I’m sure they are all you need

[@Unpotted]

It really shouldn’t be too much to ask of the people in your life to respect your boundaries in relation to your family life. A basic tenant of social work is that perpetrators of child abuse often become victims of elder abuse. Enough said. Please take all the time you need to enjoy your holidays. We can always watch our second favorite KZbin book reviewers. 😉 Hint: A well-placed and frequently stocked squirrel feeder should keep your dog happy all winter. My cat loves ours. She doesn’t go outdoors, but I think of it as cat tv. Happy holidays! 😺✌️

[@ReadBecca]

Aww Teddy! I definitely relate and love that you shared your PSA, having had various times of low or no contact with parents in my life Ive definitely found can be the healthiest and happiest option. For me that has enabled at least being on better terms and finding the right boundaries to do that. That framing of would I even be friends with this person if we weren't related is excellent, really helps to get across putting our energy into the people who we do have those deeper connections with, rather than those out of obligation. What a find with the edition of The Color Purple, it looks in great condition!

[@bibliomania158]

Another great video! I hope all goes well for you with your procedure next week. I appreciate the great content. Blessing to you guys

[@jackwalter5970]

My father left me when i was six, and it was good riddance. I'm 66 now, he's dead, and i have no regrets. Toxic people don't belong in my life.

[@SupposedlyFun]

Shaming someone into a toxic relationship is never a good idea. I think it takes strength to take a stand against toxicity. 🥂

[@readandre-read]

Teddy fix! ❤ So many people struggle with family problems - I see so much good wisdom and support here in the comment section. I picked up The Talk the other day at the library because it looked interesting but i haven't had time to read it yet. Now I am motivated to squeeze it in.

[@julieg_quebec-julesselivre8641]

Teddy is too adorable! 🥰

[@peaseblossom4252]

Yay! So glad you were able to get a copy of North Woods-how wonderful and kind of those people. Absolutely love Teddy. …I started listening to Tic Tac Mistletoe today while fixing our belated Thanksgiving-you were right, so adorable! Really enjoying your book recommendations. Wishing you all well.

[@blipereira5485]

Teddy is so adorable!!!😍

[@doraramirez361]

I 100% agree that a child/parent relationship is complicated enough that others don't need to voice opinions on that.

[@TaxiMathGirl]

Thank you for sharing your parent experience. I had a similar experience, down to the details of what people have said to me about it. Thank you ❤

[@premadimauro2691]

I had no regrets after stopping communications with my mother. I did try everything. I still had no regrets after her passing. I heard the same comments from family and friends that you have. It was a matter of keeping mentally healthy for me

[@MarilynMayaMendoza]

Hi Greg, I very much enjoyed this video and your vulnerability. I loved seeing Teddy. I’m still not ready for a new dog after losing my three Havanese a few years ago but I love to see other peoples dogs. He’s such a cutie! Also, thanks for the tips on how to grow a channel mine is floundering 😊 Aloha

[@aquariuslibrarian]

Thank you for talking about the parents-issue! it was very comforting to me. I speak to my parents every three months or so and i also feel that obligation to contact them more, but as you said, if they werent my parents but just someone i know i wouldnt feel obligated at all. Everybody should try to do whats best for them i guess, and sometimes talking to your parents is not

[@dman747707]

I have a brother who was incredibly coddled and had our worlds revolve around him when he was a high school/college athlete and he is now a 32 year old man who thinks the world revolves around him. I’m able to be around him in certain spaces as far as holidays go but have greatly lost communication with him otherwise and my life has been more peaceful since.

[@KurtAnderson812]

First - Teddy ❤❤❤❤❤ Second - glad you are enjoying The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store. It’s still my top read of the year. Third - I try to avoid over sharing online but this feels pertinent. My father and I last spoke in 1982. He had a very negative reaction to my coming out and it ended our relationship. He died this past September and I honestly don’t regret not speaking to him in the least. He missed out on me, I didn’t miss him. We get to choose who we associate with. It’s okay to cut people out of our lives that don’t align with our core values and it’s also okay to feel bad about it. Stay strong.

[@SupposedlyFun]

I think that’s the thing a lot of people miss: if there’s regret to be had in a situation like yours, it belongs to your father. When people tell me I’ll regret not speaking to my father, all I can think is “maybe he should regret the way he’s treated me,” but no one considers that. It’s maddening. I think it will be difficult for any book to top Love Songs of WEB Du Bois for me, but so far Heaven & Earth Grocery Store has all the hallmarks of a book I love.

[@debbiejefferies]

Well said about Parents relationships, as adults we have to 'let go ' of relationships when they are painful and damaging, even if they are a parent. The sadness when they pass is not regret that you did or didn't do anything differently, it can be more about the realisation that, it will never change then, they will never be who you deserved them to be. If only all families are how society paints them to be , not so of course. Take care x

[@janethansen9612]

Good luck with the mole removal and wishing you a speedy recovery from that. It was so cute watching Teddy's eyes slowly closing. He is a very good boy.

[@spexi513]

Awwww happy 2 months 🥹. Sameeee on the Dad thing ! 💚 goes out to you

[@mradcaqbdb]

Teddy is such a 🌟! I’m definitely in the Teddy fan club. That boy knows how to strike a pose that just makes you go awwwwwww! ❤️ Just put The Talk on my list at the library. Sounds really good!

[@jeremyl2594]

Thank you for sharing regarding your family. You are completely correct. There is no way an outsider can give advice or insight to a relationship. Nor should they! I also luv the Pulitzer award. Do you include the books that should have won for the years when there isn't an award given? Like Gravity's Rainbow and For Whom the Bell Tolls?

[@kirkwallmage]

I was happy to support you and your love of books, as well as the fantastic people at Montana Book Co ❤

[@jackiesliterarycorner]

My dad and aunt can relate to having a bad parent, and they have made peace with it. It's sad when parents let you down and if they can't be good parents you don't owe them anything. I did start read Lonesome Dove during Thanksgiving, but I have picked up a lot of books like Bernard Cornwell's The Lords of the North and Anglo-Saxon Attitudes by Angus Wilson.

[@bookofdust]

In a year where the graphic novels have been the most outstanding books I’ve read and GN memoirs in particular, I did find the The Talk amazing. But this week I finished The Worm: A Cuban American Odyssey by Edel Rodriquez. He came on the Mariel boat lift and I thought the book would end there with his arrival. But there’s a whole other section about his adult life, art and activism which left me sobbing. Just brilliant.

[@user-if4ux9io8q]

Happy holidays!

[@emmavd]

Thanks, Greg and Teddy!🐶🥰I’m so glad you reminded me of The Yield, which has been sitting idly on my shelves for a while. I’m getting A Council of Dolls for Christmas, and am very much looking forward to reading it. Good luck with your surgery next week!

[@jordana99]

First, ty for responding to me as a new subscriber! Much appreciated. Second, we have 2 things in common, estrangement (although as a parent I am on a different side). Others comments are usually insensitive as well as incorrect! And omg Montana, one of my fave places on the earth(so far). I lived there for 7 years. And one of the things my now estranged daughter liked me for was introducing her to Montana. She’s a UM graduate.

[@taravincent9699]

Yay! You’re so welcome!!! I was happy for an opportunity to show my appreciation for your channel and the work you do to put out book content. I love your recommendations (especially DC) and learning from you about all the lists and awards for books. Thank you so much!!! Your situation happens a lot. Nobody can tell you how you feel but you. And when things effect your health, you have to do what’s right for you. With no explanation to anyone. I love seeing Teddy in your videos. ❤️

[@SupposedlyFun]

Thank you so much! It was a lovely and totally unexpected surprise. ❤️ I’m sure Teddy will be back. He seems to enjoy this!

[@onourpath]

If people are estranged from a parent, there's a reason why. It's just cruel to tell someone to reconnect with parents who have clearly done a shit job of parenting. And if I'm estranged from my child, I have some work to do. Parenting is a job; and if your child can't/won't have a relationship with you, you've failed at your job, and will get what you put into it. Omg, Teddy!!!! 💚💚💚

[@Europa1749]

What a sweet dog. I will never ask people again about whether or not they have children. I did that recently and they said "no." It was so awkward and at that moment, I vowed never to ask personal questions like that again. Of course relatives are notorious for asking those kind of questions.

[@spexi513]

‘And mostly the food’ - 😂 Sameeeeeeee

[@beckyliechty2699]

I love your channel, just discovere. I am such a dog lover too

[@SupposedlyFun]

Thank you so much! 🥂 🐾

[@bethheller7734]

Teddy is such a sweetie! I can’t wait to hear your final thoughts on The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store. It was such a meaningful book to me on so many levels. I plan to purchase The Talk now for both my teenager and I to read as well.

[@caraduggan479]

Just came here to say….I had not spoken to my dad in about 13 years when he died. I grieved him and was incredibly saddened by his death. But never for one second regretted the 13 years I didn’t speak to him. The people who get it, get it. ❤

[@susanb4481]

When I read almost nothing but mysteries, I read all the Sayers, Christies, and Marsh.

[@lynniepie52]

My opinion, it’s up to the parent to mend the relationship…not the child! Teddy is adorable💖

[@TheLeniverse]

I hear you on staying away from talking politics with family. I sometimes just have to leave the room, but I dread getting cornered. The second Lord Peter book, Clouds of Witness, is the one I normally recommend to people to start with, and it is much more of a classic whodunit. The whole family is at a country house, and the main suspect is Lord Peter's brother. I hope you give it a try at some point!

[@ullagomez8054]

I like the chatty part of your videos, too!

[@SupposedlyFun]

I’m glad! 🤗

[@LaughingStockfarm1]

For the Friday Reads you could always just put up the cover of the book as you talk about it, and for the chatty part maybe just some snapshots of Teddy and other stuff? Just an idea, because I’m a little addicted to Friday Reads. 😂

[@SupposedlyFun]

Teddy deserves all the recognition he gets so that’s a good idea!

[@LaughingStockfarm1]

@@SupposedlyFun, and if you don’t feel up to it, well, everyone deserves a break every now and then. 😁 It’ll just make the next Friday Reads that much more eagerly awaited.

[@dqan7372]

Chasing squirrels is important and hard work. We've had them get into our sunroom twice and I'm just in no shape to chase them anymore. First time it happened I had to walk around the house three times to get to the outside entrance so I could shoo him out. Fortunately I finally smartened up and looked for his entrance point and blocked it. A dog might have simplified that process, not to mention being a great companion the rest of the year. Really missing mine these days. Glad to hear you liked Council of Dolls. I'm hoping to get to it next year along with The End of Drum-Time.

[@user-yg6ft1iu1i]

Thanks for sharing such difficult issues there a lot of people who can relate or benefit from this. I read Garden of Evening Mists TaTwang Eng, A Single Rose Muriel Barbery TR Alison Anderson. Both very good and Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons. I will throw. In two weeks ago I read Saint Sebastian’s Abyss by Mark Haber which was very good and different take on the history of art in a fictional way

[@loriroemer1122]

I am glad you are setting boundaries that work for you with your father. I would add that if you are talking with someone whose children do not communicate with them, do not inquire further. I just finished The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store. While I did see the similarities between it and Deacon King Kong, I enjoyed DKK more. ( I enjoyed Heaven and Earth... very much)

[@SupposedlyFun]

Very true-it goes both ways! I’m glad you enjoyed DKK.

[@susanb4481]

Only completed reads for November: Absolution and Bel Canto. Quite a few DNF but may attempt in future: North Woods, The Lost Journals of Sacajewea and The Fraud. In process of finishing The Love Songs of WEB DuBois.

[@neetupd8510]

Glad you got your hands on North Woods Greg...eager to hear your views on it ... Please do check out Five Little Indians by Michelle Good if you want to read something with the background of Indian schools...this one's set in Canada. I believe that you know the best way to lead your life,who to keep and who to omit....Not sure why anyone should be giving you advice on this unless this is someone who knows you and your family closely.... Thank you for the great content!😊

[@KierTheScrivener]

Oh thank you! I just looked on libby and got The Talk.

[@BookishTexan]

Teddy!! I hope your Dad comes around. It sounds to me like you have done more than your share of the work to maintain your relationship.

[@SupposedlyFun]

It’s been a long and frustrating ride, for sure.

[@LaughingStockfarm1]

Thanks!

[@SupposedlyFun]

Thank you so much!

[@Elizabeth-Reads]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through with your father, I know it has to be especially hard this time of year. But I'm so glad you're putting distance between you. It's HIS loss. You obviously have so many people who love you dearly, so I hope you can rest in that. I just finished Heaven and Earth, and oh my gosh…It seems right up your alley too. (Be sure to read the Acknowledgments too.) I have a lot going on in my life, and reading it was the first time I’ve felt at peace in a very long time. Like all McBride there’s so much humor and love and hope. What a gift! (I did end up taking notes on all the characters to keep them sorted. I think it's harder on audio, although the audio is excellent, so I ended up reading along while I listened.)

[@SupposedlyFun]

That’s one of the things I find so annoying about comments like “you’ll regret it when he’s gone” - all I can think is that maybe HE should regret it. So frustrating. As I’ve been reading H&EGG, I’ve been thinking how much it reminds me of Demon Copperhead because it prizes the same things: humanity, connection, empathy, etc. it’s a perfectly me book.

[@jacquelinemcmenamin8204]

Best reads of November were March by Geraldine Brooks The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store Good Morning Monster ( nonfiction) Funniest book = Ten Things That Never Happened. I’m still determined to get through Kavalier and Clay by New Year. I’m reading lots of Australian crime fic. It’s freezing here , so reading about sunny beaches is wonderful. 🍀👋☘️🤗😘

[@SupposedlyFun]

I need to reread March. If I remember correctly, Kavalier has a slow part in the middle but I still loved it.

[@jacquelinemcmenamin8204]

As you know my 60th birthday was 26th. My siblings & siblings in law took me out to dinner. We drank more than we did at a family wedding 3 weeks before ( that’s saying something!) Great night. Great laughs. Lots of dancing. ☘️👋🍀📖📕🇮🇪📚☕️

[@SupposedlyFun]

I bet that was a lot of fun! Happy birthday once again.

[@PaulaBlazer-n7l]

I called Parnassus Bookstore and ordered a signed copy of Tom Lake. I told them Greg from Supposedly Fun rediscovered AP for me.

[@PaulaBlazer-n7l]

Be kind to yourself and if you need recovery time please must do! Heal well.

[@Kim_Janulis]

Thanks so much for sharing your struggles with your father. My husband had to cut his father out of his life which was hard for me to understand and I worried he would regret when he was gone. The reality was with the love and support of his family and friends he was fine when finally did happen. It just takes time to understand that not all family relationships are the same (mine was quite different) and sometimes letting go is the right move in a situation. Hope you can find peace in your situation.

[@disasterindocs]

It's okay that you don't get to every comment! I was just so excited when I saw you had responded to one of my previous ones! Truly made my day❤

[@SupposedlyFun]

I’m glad! The comments help keep me going, so I just feel bad when I can’t get to them all.

[@bookofdust]

Taking a vacation away from a complicated parent is one of the best things I’ve ever done and know others who did the same too. It doesn’t have to be forever, but when an impasse is present it’s sometimes one of the healthiest things for everyone concerned. LGBTQ+ individuals have even more complex relationships with parents, especially those of us who have built strong found families and receive more love, support and understanding from those individuals. I think it’s one of those things that most straight people can’t even begin to wrap their minds around. I’m sorry those people made you feel uncomfortable.