From Loss to Healing: Grief Stages Explored at 9 Months to 1 Year

[@stevepollard2169]

I have just lost my wife of 40 yrs one month ago. Everywhere i go reminds me of her. Friends come and go but it doesn't help.i'm driving the car and burst out crying. For personal reasons i want to sell our house and move to uk and philippines to be with our daughters and their families. But everytime i start on the house i break down. I know i must own my grief and not let it control me. I read of people taking years to come to terms with it but i'm 69 and need to complete the plans for our girls that my wife and i agreed on.

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in the very beginning stages where everything seems surreal. Please take steps to take care of yourself and surround yourself with support and eventually tools for recovery. We are here to help.

[@rmurphy3435]

So sorry for you as I lost my wife of 31 years 10 months ago, I’ve been through it, still going through it, time and a strong support group will help. Take care.

[@lallabarry9878]

@@rmurphy3435 I am feeling your pain. I loss my husband 10 months ago after 30 year of marriage

[@nickdiaz3737]

Just got to 3 yrs since my wife passed. I think of her day and nite

[@lokilover5897]

The second year is SOO much harder!! I am at 18 months and the reality is STILL getting more REAL every day! I am better in other ways but I miss my son MORE every minute of the day. I am at the point of surrender or break. I have reached my toleration point of living without him. I am VERY afraid of breaking. Trying desperately trust God and give this pain to him💜

[@mjwahba]

You have to break, go into a deep depression, die metaphorically, and then come back to life. There is no other way, so save yourself the prolonged suffering and please just do it.

[@7110paula]

I’ve heard that about the 2nd year. You’re in my prayers🙏🏻

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

The second year often is harder, especially if you didn’t find the right tools and support in the first year. Please don’t give up! We are here to support you.

[@NoMoreTears64]

I'm pretty new at this. 7 weeks. I cannot even imagine the anniversary date or his BIRTHDAY in April. I cannot even imagine being able to tell people around me what I need. How can I do that when I don't even know myself what I need? Everyone talks about "doing the work" "working through it", etc. For me, it is getting out of bed everyday. I spent Christmas alone because I could no longer bare the holidays, not even with family. I did Thanksgiving, 4 days after my son's memorial service. That was enough. I just want to be by myself and NOT think about anything. It's bad enough re living that night in my dreams when I sleep.

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Go at your own speed....you can and will get through this. It will take work and you will know when you are ready to engage in the work. Sounds like right now you are probably still a bit in shock and numb which is to be expected. We typically work with people when they are about 3-6 months out from the loss. Please let us know if you would like to connect. We are here to help.

[@ML-HS]

Today marks one year since my young brother got hauled into ER vehicle with me at his side and he passed on almost two days later. My mom is taking it hard and everyone expects me to be there for her. Which I have been, but no one asked or reached out to ask if I was okay.

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Its so hard when we are grieving AND the main people in our life are also grieving. This is when we learn to find support where we can find it, not where we necessarily expected it to be. Please connect with us on FB if you are needing some additional support facebook.com/groups/graceforlivingafterloss. Or book a complimentary call with one of our coaches: team.griefhelpchat.com/session

[@feliciamachado13]

Please do a video about guilt and forgiving yourself when dealing with grief & loss. Thankyou.

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

Thanks for the suggestion. I will make one soon!

[@bintmaroc20]

Did you ever make one? I could definitely benefit from.

[@lallabarry9878]

I am going now on for 10months after my husbands passing, and the first of of some birthdays had already gone buy. We were married for 30 years. At this point i am dreading on our Wedding anniversary and the first year of his passing that is lying ahead. I really do not know how I am going to deal with those 2. I have a good supporting system, but still thinking of him day and night. Although you do have a good supporting system in place. This is still your own journey, and its a very hard journey. Sometimes I just feel that where is God in this big picture.

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

I hear you.....it is a personal journey that's for sure. There are things you can do and muscles you can develop that help with the hard days significantly....if you would like to learn more about our processes, you can schedule a time to chat with me here: team.griefhelpchat.com/call. I'm cheering you on in your grief recovery journey!

[@StephinOut]

As I write this, I've survived my first year without my Mom. Just wanted to thank you for your video and letting me know I'm not alone.

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

You're welcome! Are you finding it getting easier?

[@WonderfulTruck-fi8lo]

That's a good video 👌

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

Thank you. Hope it helps.

[@curtistinemiller4646]

I have been watching grief videos for a year,I lost my special needs daughter,Jazana"e she was In a ♿️ ,she had Rett Sydrome, Epilepsy and Scoliosis, took an extreme amount of 💊 💊, and had a hard time just having to do basic things,I have been dealing with my grief,,in a spirtual physical way,She died 11 months ago, My 29 year old son was killed 2 weeks ago ,and this pain is different ,it's gut wrenching and taking the life out of me ,What do you do in this situation other than process the GRIEF, FLY HIGH,JAZANA"E FLY HIGH GABRIEL. 🦋 🕊 🦋 🕊......

[@terrigreen100]

Stay close to God, don't ask why too much, TRUST God 🙏 watch the " Chosen " that series has helped me beyond words. I will pray for you, God bless 🙏 ❤

[@curtistinemiller4646]

@@terrigreen100 Thank you,I am depending on God to see me through ,He is my refuge and my strength,He is close to the brokenhearted and the low in spirt. ..Thank you 🙏 for me. 🙏..

[@lokilover5897]

@Curtistine My heart aches for you and with you. I lost my special needs son 18 months ago. He was my WHOLE world. There are no words to describe the emptiness inside of my. I miss him more every day. Knowing that NOTHING can ever fill this void is whats heart wrenching to me. Prayers for you! 💜

[@curtistinemiller4646]

@@lokilover5897 Thank you,Grief is such a life changer,it comes in waves and is quite perseintent,I'm so sorry for your loss of your precious son,You have to know our special needs children were God's precious angels ,thier time definitely cane too soon ,what gives me comfort ,I know Jazana'e is in the arms of God ,she was perfect ,she couldn't speak ,but I understood her,I miss both of my kids and sometimes I feel this isn't reality,but when I see the pictures and celebrate thier birthdays without them ,Reality sets in ,They live on in us Spirtually, we love them and they are there in our hearts forever.💝❤❤

[@terrigreen100]

It is the 2nd day after the first year and it is horrible, I anticipated the first year mark. The anniversary was good cause I was surrounded by family but the next day ugh....it is complicated grief cause my love died by suicide.

[@JayP-kd5rc]

I can relate to that, as that is how my husband died also. So many things and feelings are different with that. I have just past the 2 year mark, and I still have good and bad days, where it feels as though it just happened. I don't have family either, so that doesn't help. I feel for you and hope you are doing better soon.

[@terrigreen100]

@@JayP-kd5rc the worse pain ever 💔 😢 so many questions still unanswered! God bless you and I pray we both find peace in our hearts .

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

I'm so sorry Terri. I lost my mom by suicide and we are coming up on the 6 year mark next week. It can and will get better but it takes time and effort. Sending you love and strength for your journey!

[@terrigreen100]

@@Graceforlivingafterloss thank you so much!

[@Pleasantly-kc3gm]

I searched for this very title of your video ! I am in the 9th month of loss of my only brother . My big brother. I have had grief counseling… but this time is the 1 year anniversary of when we were informed he was ill .. it just happens so fast !

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

Yes the time seems to stand still and go fast all at the same time. I am glad that you are getting help through counseling, has it been helpful for you?

[@BootLegTrucking]

On 9th month going on 10th. Lost my uncle/ best friend from cancer September 20, 2023.

[@Pleasantly-kc3gm]

@@BootLegTrucking so sorry for your loss.

[@Pleasantly-kc3gm]

@@Graceforlivingafterloss Yes. I found grief counseling invaluable. It helped me understand that grief never completely goes away, sometimes it will feel smothering … others , across the room . But it will be a part of life . The tools given to me , the journaling, and different mechanisms also were /are so helpful as well.

[@kimdelie8197]

I was just discussing how I track time like I did when Megan was born.

[@LevannaZaret]

9 months since my friend took her life, Its going UP and DOWN..

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

So sorry for the loss of your friend. Suicide can certainly leave us with mixed emotions and more questions than answers. Have you connected with any support for your grief recovery?

[@misstbikini]

Im only almost 2 months in, i know im watching this prematurely, i dont see how i can be any different in 9-12 months from now.

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

I know it can seem hard to believe......what you do right now is going to determine if you are doing any better in 9 months so I encourage you to find tools and resources to actively work on your grief recovery. We have tools that can help.

[@CherylPereira-sl2vy]

I think unless you have lost a child you will never understand the pain and what stages you go through and how hard it is to even get out of bed everyday never mind holidays I’m coming up on one year and I can’t even remember when it happened I feel my brain won’t allow me to go there my son was only 32 and was full of life

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

I agree that losing a child is hard.....so is losing a spouse and parent and a sibling. They are all hard, just different. The holidays are especially hard and especially the first year. Please connect with us on FB if you are looking for extra support and tools for this season. facebook.com/groups/graceforlivingafterloss

[@katreinacarroll3186]

Sounds like you haven't lost a child, it's the hardest. That's why it's difficult to listen to your advice.

[@karinarodriguez563]

My boyfriends father passed away last November, so we’re coming up to almost 1 year. It was very tough in the first couple of months but once summer came he was doing so well, now come September, they finally sold his fathers house and closed on Wednesday. Since then, my boyfriend has shut me out completely and I haven’t heard from him in 3 days and we talk every single day. I’m not sure what to do, should I give him space until he reaches out? I have so much anxiety because i miss him and want to support him but i also don’t want to tower over him. Any advice?

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

Just let him know that you are there for him if/when he is ready to talk. Grief is a very hard and complicated thing so I'm sure he has mixed feelings about just about everything in his life right now. Be patient and be a loving support as best you can.

[@kkelly4806]

You're an overcomer?????????????WTF

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

Not sure the meaning or purpose of your comment. But yes, I have overcome alot in my life and losing loved ones is definitely at the top of the list. Not sure what you're facing these days but pray you find the strength and resources to overcome.

[@kkelly4806]

@@Graceforlivingafterloss I am just intrigued by the self-labeling and identifying as an overcomer and wondering what that even means and how that helps dealing with loss and grief.

[@Graceforlivingafterloss]

Grief can definitely be debilitating and steal peace and joy from you for a season or a lifetime.....learning how to navigate grief and developing skills and toolsets to deal with it most definitely makes an overcomer. I see so many people who stay stuck in grief for years and years and I want to instill the hope to find healing@@kkelly4806