Full Episode: “Fix My Family Love Triangle” (Ep. 218) | Iyanla: Fix My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network

Iyanla Vanzant travels to California to meet with the Sullivans, a family caught in the middle of a love triangle between an adult son and his feuding mother and wife. For more on #FIXMYLIFE, visit WatchOWN.tv/Iyanla
(Original air date: June 21, 2014)
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About Iyanla: Fix My Life:
In the popular self-help series, “Iyanla: Fix My Life”, bestselling author, spiritual life coach and television host Iyanla Vanzant goes behind closed doors to help people whose relationships and lives have broken down.
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Full Episode: “Fix My Family Love Triangle” (Ep. 218) | Iyanla: Fix My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network
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[@mzlabellez]

When his daughters came in he didn’t even greet them with hugs and kisses but in the last scene when his wife came in. He got up and showered her with kisses and a hug.. speaks volumes.... this man always feels attacks when Iyanla tries to coach or correct him and he cuts her off. I don’t think he really respects women because he doesn’t have the respect for his mother

[@Roni-Ron]

When a man is not raising his children - there is no connection

[@honeywest39j95]

@@Roni-Ron basically...🤷🏾‍♀️

[@timbawangu3038]

@Madi that's correct

[@atlantasfaithsmom]

When things get tough in relationships, including with the daughters' mothers, Donye cuts them out of his life and "starts over" as he did when his mother left him. He started over with Kysha and is overprotective of that part of his life to try to keep it intact.

[@noirnrougenuit9743]

TRUE.

[@arvellgreen1]

As a man it’s bothersome when a man can’t stand flat footed and own his wrong or failure. That pride will ruin everything in your life!

[@brandie_patreece]

Let me just say I cringed the entire time.

[@judethaddeus9856]

A while lot of women are the same way

[@brittnewilliams5604]

Nothing but facts

[@marriejames01]

And I still don’t believe he went to work. I think his wife wasn’t going for that and he didn’t want to mess up getting the 🐱. I also see that he values his son more than his girls. Terrible person.

[@beautifulirawo1900]

That was deep but true.

[@tylerlasarow]

He literally cares more about his character than his daughters, what a wow!!!

[@MissSuggaBoo]

What a woowwwu indeed!

[@S_Walk1]

It’s that pride.

[@pattilightmayo]

Exactly!

[@debbie6526]

and his son more :/ really sad for the daughters they don’t deserve that at all

[@Phoenix-el2xh]

That was hard to watch

[@apriljones3173]

I noticed she said "our little family unit". That excludes the girls. I listen to everything a person says!

[@patriciadavis7444]

GIRL YOU'RE SO RIGHT I COULD SEE FEAR IN HIS WIFE EYES WHEN THE GRANDSON GAVE IS GRANDMA A BIG HUG SHE THINKS IT'S OVER FOR HER,,, YOU CAN SEE THAT THIS KID REALLY LOVES IS GRANDMA ...THE WIFE IS JEALOUS OF OTHER WOMEN BEING AROUND

[@rosemaryfadzayi2185]

Tru

[@melissamartin3628]

I'm telling you her attitude stinks she does separate him from the kids and his mom

[@kendraseer5198]

The wife could barely get her words out, she didn't want to say none of the things she was saying to the grandmother & Iyanla

[@barikiwa22]

Damn right, that big hip witch still holds a grudge

[@demekonrn]

"I feel like daddy can't protect me". If a man hears this from his child then he's failed as a parent. Period.

[@ericking8661]

Period!!!

[@armyvetgrl2731]

Cold man! Hates women because a woman abandoned him! Smh 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@salenasheppherd7551]

@@armyvetgrl2731 Just like many women hate men because their fathers abandoned them. It's sad but it's truth.

[@zoraidacastro5403]

@@armyvetgrl2731 misogynists!!!!

[@zoraidacastro5403]

@@salenasheppherd7551 fatherless daughters

[@feebabyblue]

I don't know how Iyanla did this for so many years without smacking someone.

[@carladw3380]

Say that.

[@angelawilliams2292]

She's a life coach and they are trained to help.

[@feebabyblue]

@@angelawilliams2292 I'm a Life Coach and I wouldn't deal with the kind of disrespect she has for years, for no amount of money. As a highly sensitive person that is draining. Most of the people she deal with are borderline needing help from a licensed therapist. I reiterate borderline.

[@freethinker3334]

She has lots of patience❗remember the black teenage girl who was kidnapped at birth and flipped out on her for just wanting to help😩😭😭

[@carterbrown7422]

Lmaooo . Man oh man

[@gloriamutoni5137]

He became what he resented, his mom abandoned him, he is abandoning these girls.

[@kathrynmckeown3595]

As a recovering addict who is clean for years and now having issues with my son, his partner and child, this has helped me more than I can ever articulate.

[@sametoyoutoo8509]

Keep away from them.

[@jessb465]

@@sametoyoutoo8509 You don’t know their dynamics and are not anyone to tell this woman what to do. Mind your business.

[@jessb465]

I’m so glad this episode gave you some perspective and healing, hopefully. I hope you and your family can find a space of compassion, love, and forgiveness eventually.

[@kusanelamby1218]

Love and light❤❤❤

[@toxickistoxic8382]

Beautiful!

[@PlutosMoon22]

He married his alter ego, Wow! His wife’s mouth is what his heart feels like and he didn’t grow pass the age of trauma (12.) The mind and spirit’s self-preservation is brilliant.

[@KawaiiiiPeach]

So true.. most ppl who experience some form of trauma usually get stunted at the same age/time period in which they experienced said trauma unless they get some type of therapy. You do get some who manage to move forward just by working on themselves, talking to friends or family, or tapping into their religion/spirituality.

[@jahneastanfield2662]

Deep! 🤔💯

[@smithieboy10]

He told his wife all his hurt, intimate ppl aka married people do talk to each lol

[@PlutosMoon22]

@@smithieboy10 Facts! I’m one of those “married ppl!” Lol- She was able to give the mother the “The Business” merely taking up for her husband. I’m also a mom of sons so I know a little something on the role moms play in cultivating their hearts.... back to my point, It’s just cool how our physical apparatus tries to protect us until we are able to heal.

[@jahneastanfield2662]

@@PlutosMoon22 I respect anyone with a logical mind, and a ability to look at situations without emotion. You spat facts!💯

[@jamedraa8472]

If a man is not a good father, he's not a complete man. If a woman doesn't encourage a man to have a relationship with his children, she isn't loving ALL of him.

[@yayalove2512]

FACTS

[@jacquelinekizer1505]

Exactly

[@kwoods411]

👏👏👏

[@TheCoronapatron]

Well fkn said!

[@TheFeliciakelley]

At ALL

[@hopeso1942]

Bottom line. His wife controls EVERYTHING in this man life. She don't even let his daughter's in their life. He's weak. His daughters are beautiful.

[@Lani.Gemini]

All Facts!!!

[@shakithayoung3190]

She's mean with a attitude problem and wants to control everything she could have been welcoming to his daughters asking them to come over pick them up she doesn't want to be around none of them

[@CarsonDouglas]

Correct.

[@monetallen8327]

So is it him who dosnt want the relationship n chooses to abandon is it really the wife, is she following his lead? Or maybe she staying out the way n allowing him to have the relationships his choose with his family

[@oolalatoyamanasa5130]

This guy's showing signs of being under a spell or something😮 or it's his way of showing his gratitude to the woman who's been doing his dirty work for him against his mother

[@Babyboy-bz8dg]

Who else seeing that when his daughters walked into the room he didn't get up to give them a hug. But when his wife stepped into the room he stands up and greet her. Now I see what the daughters are talking about

[@BrenPeters]

The world need more of Iyanla. I miss her already.

[@guyc1479]

You miss her? She passesd?

[@michellebarnum8465]

@@guyc1479 Shes retiring from this. Shes right some people got so much negativity.

[@AnaThaLight]

I can understand why she's moving on.

[@jennybiddle-smiley7173]

She’s still actively posting on KZbin. She’s trying to help those who are really ready for the help I think.

[@SpiritualLifeCoach43]

@@guyc1479 From what I understand this is the final season of Fix My Life. 😭

[@KendraShavonne]

This is why these guests grind my gears. He just said he knows the absence of his mother affects his relationship with women but got super defensive when his daughters said the same damn thing!!! Next to Kesha he looks like a kid. He found a dominating woman to “mother” him. Whew child.

[@noorc1211]

💯👏

[@reniqharris]

Yup!!

[@ameliajohnson4454]

🎯

[@TheBLACKboard65]

@KENDRA - How is she (Kysha) dominating?

[@nomenissahales2584]

@Tee Green 😂😂😂

[@spicymustard3251]

Look at the smile on that young child’s face when he gets to see his grandma for the first time in months. Priceless.

[@buysexual.]

I understand not letting your mother disrespect your wife but why you let your wife disrespect your mother??

[@Aquaria2291]

Cuz he wanted to disrespect his mother himself but he didn't dare, so he got a big booty smokescreen to hide behind. 😂

[@blackcosmos]

"Ms Carolyn, after them balls gets hair on them they ain't your concern anymore" I luv Ms Iyanla so much!! 🤣😂

[@jeneewalker9413]

That’s what makes her feel important and good smh

[@SunshineKK99]

Ms.Iyanla tells it like it TIS' chile...gonna miss her show 😢

[@ckimon]

🤣🤣🤣

[@VK-iq6qv]

@@SunshineKK99 some things I don't agree with lyanla. I call her by her first name because we're around the same age.

[@smithieboy10]

Straight talking 🤣🤣🤣

[@Hotwingzlover84]

He didn't move until that one Daughter said that "I feel that I should try harder too" My heart broke. Even in her pain she was putting her Dad before herself 😔

[@SunshineKK99]

😥

[@sher747]

I bet that's how her love relationships are as well. Women tend to accept traits from men that our fathers display.

[@shikennaderbigny9417]

I felt that too 😢

[@ashleym861]

Exactly... didn't move until they took up for him.

[@mrst678]

I’m so glad that someone else recognized this. That irritated me right off the bat.

[@Simplybeautifulmika]

Did anybody peep that both the daughters said they have been feeling excluded every since he’s been with his wife.

[@catharineorellana3522]

When this first aired I got the feeling that the wife secretly was driving a wedge between him & the daughters. And notice that only 2 of the 3 daughters wanted to be part of this.

[@Belladolce1000]

Never heard the girls mention his wife. He's their father, they feel ignored by him, that's a character flaw that seems well oiled

[@ElvinaLSmith]

I did. And I can tell by how she presents that she doesn’t want any other women in his life. No matter who they are.

[@salutemeday7464]

he’s so focused on everyone protecting and soothing his ego it’s insane… i haven’t finished but sheesh what a handful

[@serenelibra61]

It's a blessing his mom turned her life around...

[@ladyj5682]

So true and that the whole family unit is trying to make things right and stick together

[@feebabyblue]

Agreed

[@hadashaross]

Tell me about my mom haven't.

[@Tina52516]

@@hadashaross 🙏🏽🧡

[@RY-os9vw]

Amen! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾

[@snuckleberrylocs]

I’m watching these and realizing why Iyanla isn’t doing this anymore.

[@selflovechichi8803]

Me too it looks exhausting omg

[@anna.rrrrrr]

Yes,me too!

[@hrafinabara8155]

Ferreal. It's crazy how we, as adults, are often unable to see how we're showing up. How the way it is "seen" vs how we "see" it are often two different views.

[@DJRenee]

Right. This will upset a spirit.

[@DJRenee]

@@hrafinabara8155 YEP

[@pheoliasmith4325]

You can tell the wife is mean. I can only imagine how she was as a stepmom before giving birth to their child. She gives “this is MY HUSBAND, not your dad” vibes.

[@herbsaint636]

He should have hugged his daughters at that table. How can a parent watch their girls cry and not reach out. This man is selfish af.

[@nomenissahales2584]

A narcissist. That is what they are called. Lots if videos on who narcissists are.

[@jeaninemorgan9118]

Agreed!!!!! That is horrible he didn't stand up and hug them

[@TheJanicetunes]

Because he's never around and dont have any type of connection with those girls.

[@sufundasamuels2313]

He had no empathy towards his own daughters and he actually looked uncomfortable and out of place in their presence.

[@CarsonDouglas]

He not connected to them. He seems to be a narcissist.

[@Ladyrolanda]

He can blame mom for everything but refused to take any blame for his poor relationship with his daughters. Wow 😯!

[@sharondenmark3454]

And didn't seek any counseling for any of the trauma between his mother and daughters

[@nadineksjohnson2314]

This!!

[@whiteybopbop9232]

Exactly

[@evelynmccalister2952]

..

[@CopperMe9]

He mad annoying.

[@octavialuci275]

I didn’t get along with, or liked my mother-in-law but I always supported HIS relationship with her. That’s his mother, so I know he needed to have that relationship. She’s since passed, but to this day he appreciates that I could do that.

[@SunshineKK99]

A real woman..💪🏾

[@jasellerodrigues233]

For sure !

[@Pocahontas0017]

If you don’t mind me asking....In what ways did you “support” their relationship. I’m in a similar situation and we have kids together. She’s the type if it isn’t her way it ain’t right regarding to anything(house, kids, education, anything that really is not her concern anyway)

[@stylishdinero3720]

Yes I've been there BUT the crazy part was my mother in law ALWAYS had a hatred in her heart for ME and then I finally realized it was JUST an hatred for herself

[@stylishdinero3720]

@@Pocahontas0017 I've been there and BABY I had to let that go because it took a lot of me. My soul in the end you realize honey it's them there stuck with how their lives have been stuck and still is if you give anymore of yourself honey it will swallow YOUR soul and you'll be a bitter person

[@onelifetolive107]

The grandson seeing his nana spoke volume. It is important that the grandson sees his nana. When he saw her he was full of joy. The smile on this lil boy face. When he saw his nana he practically jumped out of his skin. Adults need to behave like adults.

[@GoddessPower777]

if nana can’t act right, she can’t see him. Respect his mother.

[@rustyhornzinstrumentalist-7596]

A Daughter Says To Her Father, "I Feel Like, You Can't Protect Me." - The Father's Response, He Later Gets Up and Walks Away From Her. What?!

[@Shymeen44]

Proving her statement.

[@Laurenasmity]

My dad did that

[@rustyhornzinstrumentalist-7596]

@@Laurenasmity Totally Wrong Way To Handle That Situation. 🤦🏾

[@brkmv4775]

A narcissists favourite line is “you’re not gonna sit here and attack my character”.

[@carladw3380]

You are so right. Manipulation.

[@herbsaint636]

🤣🤣

[@nomenissahales2584]

The man and his wife used the same line. Both walked off.

[@pinkdiamonddynasty7917]

Wow, and the person that I'm dealing with constantly tells me this... Lastly being just 2days ago... Someone said that's what he was a few years back. Damn

[@nomenissahales2584]

@@pinkdiamonddynasty7917 There is a light within you. Most call it Soul Glow. The light is your soul. If they kill your light( your willpower, your motivation, your purpose) then they got you. You become hollow like them. With no purpose in life. Just a fleeting empty shell. And you cannot complete your soul mission, and have to incarnate here again to start all over. Waste of time. Roll solo. Cut cords with all negative people from your life. Move, relocate, isolate and become one with yourself. Become intune with who you are and your purpose will become clear. Idc if you have known people for 30+yrs. Are they going anywhere in life? Well, that's your answer. Drop people who are purposeless. They will try to drag you to where they are. Watch their responses when you share good news. Keep your plans to yourself. Dont share it with nobody. Move in silence. Pull yourself out of depression. The hero's journey is a lonely one but the end is very rewarding. Take care, peace.

[@arvellgreen1]

Iyanla: Nobody’s ever died from upset. 😂😂😂

[@kayhumph9109]

You just get over it after a while

@@kayhumph9109 And you also learn how to handle it, and withstand it with emotional maturity/sobriety.

[@yolandarose5219]

Big Facts!!

[@michellebarnum8465]

I like when she said that.

[@LoveFireWellness]

Love Iyanla but that's a lie! The body keeps the score! Upset can lead to depression and physical pain over time. According to her her daughter died from extensions of pain through her cancer. 🤷

[@YolandaEvette]

When she says “take a breath, breathe” I always find myself like yeah let me calm down!! I get so invested, but I’m also learning.

[@MissSuggaBoo]

Unresolved trauma breeds more trauma. This man is not capable of understanding, he listens to react. Hasn’t learned to hear, understand and respond. He is indeed of some counseling, and truth to self.

[@sjw4269]

His Daughters just said “SINCE YOU BEEN WITH KEYSHIA”.. she’s not innocent at all , I feel like she causing more pain and breakdown between him and his kids and mother. I believe Keyshia probably disregarded and disrespected grandma up until she blew up in the message. Why couldn’t Grandma see Cairo before the message was left??

[@karenmcgee1869]

Yes

[@alishagadson9524]

That’s what I wanted to know!

[@bossladiee]

I agree! She seems very controlling and likely isolated him from everyone. No respect for a man that allows anything, especially a woman, to interfere with his relationship with his children.

[@paigelovette8156]

EXACTLY.

[@joannasaadati8810]

Here's the thing though, she can act any kind of way but if a man chooses to not see his kids or his mother that's on him.

[@ebonym.8196]

The dad is teaching his daughters to put up with half-stepping relationships with men. He got upset and the daughter said I need to try harder. WTF he’s their dad? I hate how men get coddled - it’s enabling.

[@ummwhatever1913]

I hated that part and his ugly asz shirt like no 18 year old should feel they should try harder he should be glad she’s trying at all. She’s 18 and could say to hell with him, SAD!!

[@Leahh823]

Thank you. And if that happens, then he’ll feign ignorance on their choices in men .

[@williamgamelisenaya793]

Wow Iyanla what wisdom, dissected from the roots of the problem Watching from Sydney Australia Bless up

[@cupcakemainesprinkled4674]

You said it beautifully . Men are the new Women

[@lonyettadunbar2920]

And did you noticed it was at that moment he came back into the conversation. It was so disgusting to watch 😫😫

[@user-je7qx6ft9i]

They need to bring in the other children’s mothers for a full accurate picture of who he really is…

[@zahirahjahmad2530]

She probably dismissed him out her life to avoid ALL TOXICITY from him and whomever is attached to him

[@user-je7qx6ft9i]

@@zahirahjahmad2530 you’re right! I hope that is the case ❤️

[@ElvinaLSmith]

We can tell without them.

[@ingridc.68]

When I was married my ex husband had so much hatred towards his mother. She was an absent mother, which effected his childhood. However, I used to consistently encourage him to forgive her and make a mends. A wife should encourage the forgiveness not encourage the dysfunction. In my own story my dad wasn't always the best dad, but I chose to forgive and we have a relationship now. Honor thy Mother and Father because at the end of the day they are why you're here.

[@kydramanuel]

Omg he is like a little boy in a grown mans body. It broke my heart seeing his beautiful daughters cry.

[@rstat5481]

He is. Trauma stops the internal clock, which is the reason why many traumatized people suffer with relationships. Until they accept responsibility for their own healing, they will continue to hurt other people. They literally do not know any better.

[@shawnm.martin5721]

I would never even consider a relationship with a man who is not committed emotionally, time wise, and depending on their age financially, to his children.

[@inacook2285]

This is profound !

[@slimwalk708]

You damn right. Its a red flag for women when a man is not committed to his own flesh and blood. Take note ladies.

[@p.reneeblue7799]

💯

[@zoraidacastro5403]

GOLDEN NUGGET!!!

[@LisaLisaCJ]

A real woman here

[@patricesneed1149]

This is exactly what my life has been like over 15 yrs. Ms. Iyanla hit the nail on the head when she said he was using his wife to do his dirty work.

[@jahnafyi337]

Iyanla is THAT okay!!!! 👑 “You haven’t given each other your hearts and that’s why you’re still suspicious of one another” whewwwwww

[@reneeredmond530]

I feel that he treats his daughters just like his mother treated him when he was younger. He is not there for then just like mother wasn't. He has four children, not just one(his son). I hope this entire family got closer! 💕

[@karenmcgee1869]

True!

[@audreyhylton4936]

Word...

[@tamjones8980]

Absolutely

[@michellebarnum8465]

True

[@aura5944]

He failed them when they were kids, the curse continues. He becomes disrespectful and defensive (victim). I hope they're close with each of their mothers. Ms. Carolyn was absent in his life from 12-24, he slept around was reckless and could not be vulnerable with all the mothers of his children. As a result he is now emotional unavailable to his daughters. Generational!!

[@eclipsearc1518]

He is so combative. He is not a man, he is still a little boy

[@NettaYuup]

No accountability at all.

[@heratqueen805]

Absolutely.

[@Exxtol1]

It's not his fault. He had no parents to show him how. I think he came out pretty good considering his mom was a crack head.

[@salenasheppherd7551]

That's how he was when I worked with him in 2019. He was ready to argue down and sometimes fist fight anyone who opposed him!

[@zoraidacastro5403]

@@salenasheppherd7551 at work...Wow

[@zindydavis1737]

Iyanla speaks the truth from the soul. When you don't understand it she breaks it down so you can feel the other persons feels. This is what we lack, better understanding.

[@TheKrystee]

“I got a lil thug in me.. mmhmm, yes I do” *adjusts glasses* lol Ms Carolyn is a funny lady.

[@KorrellOfficial]

“That wasn’t his business...” Iyanla is so straightforward. I love it.

[@tcoleman124]

@Spongebob Squarepants maya 😂

[@selfcoutureny1]

When momma and son hugged at the door you could see they love and miss each other. Even when they were on the couch and she apologized to him....They need time to rebuild

[@ensabahnur3104]

"she didn't know she could?" So, she knew she could call and cuss them out but she couldn't call to apologize?

[@Rebecca-hc5ju]

💯💯

[@rhondapaul2797]

Whoop there it is. When that baby said he acts like he only has Keisha and Kairo. She has a hand in keeping them from their dad. She is definitely one of them. If you know you know!

[@Miz292]

The way he reacted to his daughters pain is AWFUL. Hope he changed his ways.

[@beauty4717]

It’s all about his wife & son. I hope the relationship between he & his daughters has changed since 2014.

[@parkerlisa36]

I doubt he changed especially with that wife by his side.

[@beauty4717]

@@parkerlisa36 FACTS💯

[@kenyettaready]

@@parkerlisa36 she seems like the type of wife that will divorce him if he tries to have a relationship with his daughters. And she'd take half of his estate just because.

[@charlita25]

Ms. Iyanla is so brave ... she never backs down.

[@AsheBee123]

NEVER!!!

[@MISSCP2012]

She's very Brave 💛

[@abm5707]

Pain teaches one resilience and brevity

[@OWN]

She is such an inspiration! ✨ Enjoy more from Iyanla: Fix My Life here: bit.ly/2By1PMx OWN ~ Camille

[@ShadaeMastersAstrology]

@@OWN Camille tell Oprah and Iyanla that Melissa said hello ❤️ lol

[@gigiw9840]

Keyshia I know you reading these comments .. you shouldn't want a man that would put anyone above his daughters...even you. Do better b4 your son treats you like he does his mother

[@jccanteen]

People... if you don't take the time (or have the opportunity) to do the work to heal your trauma, you will be stuck, developmentally, at the age at which the trauma occurred. This man is a great case study for this reality.

[@Rebecca-hc5ju]

Arrested development. Absolutely.

[@stop08it]

Ah you spoke to me

[@AshaGlenn]

I hate when parents say, "you only call me when you want something." Okay. What are kids supposed to call you for? Like seriously? They're kids. They depend on you for everything. That boils my blood. I have two children. Guess what they do as soon as they wake up? They make request. And they should. It's literally what I'm here for. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ Do I want my children to become loving empathetic people who will be interested in a person for more than just what they can provide? Of course! But that's my job to help them to do that. It's definitely not my job to shame them for depending on me since that's literally my role in life.

[@Quanism1995]

Exactly 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@Tee-kk6tj]

So true. I have a friend that does that to her children & gets upset with me when her children look at me as a mother figure.

[@SunshineKK99]

Girl, I bet you Kiesha put in his head that his daughter's are using him and only call him when they need something...he's a man child...

[@Synquette]

Wow this almost brought tears to my eyes because it’s so true ❤️❤️❤️

[@meriarose4417]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Omg I needed to hear this for my sanity because I was told the same by my father as a kid. Like who tf else am I supposed to call in my time of need?

[@oemiller]

Keisha don't want his other kids around or his mom, she wants him all to herself and her husband was ok with it.

[@dtb3392]

You hit it on the nail... keisha wants him to her self. Keisha just want donye and her son Forget every one else..

[@jeanettejones4667]

My same thought! I agree 💯%

[@chelah18]

Its so disheartening to hear him say he wanted to be one with his wife and son and happened to catch himself and added his three daughters as an afterthought.

[@rrmalone7836]

Exactly, she didn’t even want the other kids there

[@virdnarandle8631]

Kysha on something👀

[@ElonNicole]

Actually that’s Keishas baby. She is the mother & wife. If you don’t respect a person, you do t get access to THEIR child. Rightfully so.

[@mbhonimongwe3994]

I agree but she seems to be the center of all the drama

[@AugustLady77]

So it's obvious the wife told him he COULDN'T spend the night. He came in the session with his daughters with a whole new attitude on defense mode. Very sad.

[@havepuffwilldrink7777]

He navigates like he is 12 years old. He lacks maturity. I hate it for him since no one taught him.

[@DJRenee]

A lot of adults are walking around with a lack of maturity and emotional intelligence.

[@karenmcgee1869]

He is stuck and needs to heal!

[@gbb82]

Apple did not fall from the tree....He is like this because of the mother

[@alonzofuller7517]

He's been feminized

[@alonzofuller7517]

@@rozzyfour he's a feminized man regardless

[@joannasaadati8810]

Omg Iyanla's one liners 🤣 "once them balls have hair on them, they ain't your concern anymore" 🤣🤣

[@user-nubiangoddess]

N its true

[@UrbanAlchemystic]

😄😄😄😄😄😅😅😅

[@sadeatthewhip1846]

Came down here to say the same thing 😁 I love her

[@sadeatthewhip1846]

@@user-nubiangoddess Oh yes. No truer statement.

[@brittnewilliams5604]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kiajames7737]

That hug he gave his grandma made my eyes water. He’s literally the sweetest thing!

[@kitthecat6543]

My childs father dated so many women that never encouraged him to do for his child, they only cared about their child with him. How do you even date a man who doesn't have a steady relationship with his child? I could never.

[@salenasheppherd2834]

Right, and at the end of the day the other woman IS NOT responsible for encouraging her man to do right by his offspring. He should be a decent enough of a HUMAN BEING to do what is required of him as a father. I want nothing to do with a man who doesn't have an active & healthy relationship with his children. PERIOD. And I hope more women start to WAKE UP and stop entertaining "Grown boys" who's hearts are not right towards their children.

[@yolandarose5219]

I always say if a man don’t love his mother he can’t love you.That’s FACTS!!!

[@BeNothingg]

Very true

[@JaneDoe76664]

True story

[@Alayadevon]

No lie

[@michellebarnum8465]

True

[@matoakatutoring]

People are just evil

[@paigelovette8156]

The wife didnt fool me at all. Shes not innocent AT ALL and plays a huge role in this mess. Also, her and the husband have the exact same horrible communication skills.

[@dondemarco9092]

Man, the grandmother is the root of this chaos, the mother is just a branch.

[@leslieburleson391]

@@dondemarco9092 Right you gotta know where to start to fix it and what it is needs fixing or rather healing

[@tamikoaaron1597]

That lady is a piece of work. I had a run in with her at a jazz festival. She thought I wanted her husband because I said hello to him because we had met before a few weeks prior. I was like lady I’m a whole 2 feet taller than him....calm down. She was crazy as a Betsy bug. I hope she has that under control now.

[@kedrawalzer5929]

@@dondemarco9092yes grandma may be the root, but that wife is more than a branch, she is the tree trunk,...Those teenage daughters said it All....

[@LisaLisaCJ]

@@tamikoaaron1597 lol wait what???? Lol omg

[@aaronnewman7573]

addiction, neglect, cussin’ and all… i really appreciate how well the grandma took accountability for her actions. she really just wanted her family back. she was willing to let go of the pettiness. maybe it’s a wisdom thing that came with age

[@kemmiemalone2895]

I just saw this today and I felt the same way ..His wife is stuck up and doesn't want anyone in her life, but him and their son...

[@londonk69]

His wife got him bitter even towards his daughters, he been around her controlling energy till he cant even see how his daughters are hurting

[@bossladiee]

Agreed!

[@andreabobo2570]

He has gotten that negative energy. Where are they now?

[@DarlingNikki2]

Yes, his wife has a very controlling, manipulative aura around her. I think she sees other women in his life as competition and purposely excludes them because she was never taught that a man's heart can expand to love everyone in his atmosphere without it interfering in his love for his wife. She definitely had a reason to feel some type of way about the nasty voicemail his mother left, but knowing her backstory, she should have realized the place it was coming from actually had little to do with her personally. I hope she did some growing up from this experience and at least tried to make heart connections with not only the mom but also the step-daughters. It's so important for young women to be close to their fathers and other positive male figures, but it's also important for them to have as many positive female role models, too.

[@SunshineKK99]

Kiesha is messy and I can bet she keeps using that "male", this is your only son BS on the dad. But he's damn weak he can't stand up to his wife...terrible

[@WittyOne37]

@@SunshineKK99 because he feels like he can't do better than her....

[@ericparker2197]

I feel sorry for his daughter, I wish this man fathered no one... he still need healing and help himself.

[@nakishatraylor9334]

😥

[@AsiaD99]

Facts

[@jadiahavala4656]

agreed

[@antwanpenn3316]

Damn, Mama Iyanla!!!!! "Or you marry a woman who will do it for you"! Wow, that hit hard, I felt that all through me!!

[@patricesneed1149]

I really can't understand how somebody can marry someone and hate the parent.

[@marionmjones3415]

He clings to his wife because he never had a mother to love him, he has no clue

[@TheBLACKboard65]

Husbands are supposed to cleave unto their wives. His problem was not checking his mother earlier. His wife feels unprotected in her own house. That should not be. Carolyn made her mistakes and she can be forgiven but she has no rights to her grandchild. If she can't respect the child's mother and HER position as wife then she can maintain a relationship with the only child she has a right to - her grown son.

[@salenasheppherd7551]

@@TheBLACKboard65 Yes!!!!

[@TheBLACKboard65]

@@salenasheppherd7551 - I sure wish ppl would read their Bible with an eye toward how and why God set things up. So much dysfunction would be eliminated very quickly.

[@mariestewart4502]

She is a true God sent. Amen

[@victoriabernice]

That’s what he’s supposed to do. Cling on to his wife? She’s a wife for a reason. I

[@basicallyv9873]

Ewww. He is a man child. He saw his mother own up to her mistakes with him and couldn't do the same for his children.

[@elizabethgatling1271]

Exactly!! You would THINK that he would be more empathetic towards his daughters' feelings. In so many words, they expressed to him that he is doing to them what HIS mother did to him. Not to that extreme...but....

[@nopenallnull]

He's trash

[@wonderwoman66dp]

Right!

[@lovingmylife528]

He’s ridiculous 🙄🙄🙄

[@lululashlounge]

Keisha uses the family’s past as leverage to divide them.But that husband is weak!They need continued therapy!

[@deliciaperry4684]

Notice he is VERY submissive to Kesha’s presence

[@SmileyAdventures]

“That’s right! Absolutely 😁😁” MISS IYANLA IS AN ICON!

[@Belle-357]

She's Brilliant 👏🏾!

[@DJRenee]

That lady don't care about a apology. She wants a fight.

[@theresadaughterofthemosthi4963]

She had Vaseline in that Louie bag lol. Poor old lady was about to get dragged through Long Beach. Only Jesus can fix this mess of a marriage.

[@prettypinkpopsicle]

@@theresadaughterofthemosthi4963 🤣

[@ycartyahoo]

Kudos to mom for overcoming drugs!

[@doc.fuller7010]

I ❤️ my daughter and SHE KNOWS IT. They need to know they can call 📞 daddy ANYTIME

[@damionjwilliams]

😂😂😂 "Once those balls have hair on them their no longer your concern" no truer words have ever been spoken

[@sweetflay999]

Wife: *storms away, hollering “and don’t follow me!” When no one follows her (sneaky suspicion that was cue for the husband to storm out behind her) she returns (lookin super silly) and rejoins the conversation without apologizing. Immature, rude and MANIPULATIVE! I do give them all props for their willingness to be vulnerable in front of everyone for the sake of healing their relationships. That’s LOVE!

[@michellebarnum8465]

She's too old to act like that.

[@RY-os9vw]

Hopefully they have continued to grow on a personal level and are beyond that now since it was 6 years ago.

[@blkindians7974]

iyanla said to the wife (so your baaaack) lol

[@TheJanicetunes]

You're back!!! Dont follow me...ain't nobody following you 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤢🤮

[@mitravaruna]

She’s talking to the cameras that had started following her.

[@Se7venLayersOfBeauty]

Basically what Iyanla saying to us is that shes leaving cause she tired of raising other ppls kids🥴🤦🏾‍♀️ 🤣

[@lovingmylife528]

Lmaooo

[@alexiscreates]

I love Iyanla. She is so straightforward and real!

[@Nini_473]

He's not a crackhead like his mom was but he still abandoned his kids and made them fatherless. Now he met a woman who treats him like the lil boy who was abandoned cause deep down he needed his mom. The cycle continues.

[@rickishawynne3471]

Keshia acting like she has the golden child. How you his wife and he ain't see them other kids in soo long

[@VONiiE8]

That’s bc that’s how he make her feel. He dropping everyone for her and that kid.

[@deniseparker3614]

That's his responsibility to see his children not his wife.It's time for this Man to put his big boy pants on puff out the chest&put some base in his voice.I guarantee Keisha will fall in line.Women like strong Men that are secure in their Manhood,it's SEXY!

[@deniseparker3614]

*Correction* big Man pants he's not a boy he's raising one.

[@abundancesunflower1971]

Exactly

[@TheBLACKboard65]

@RICKISHA WYNNE - It is clear from most of the comments two things: a lot of dark-skinned BW hating on Kysha because she's light; and, a lot of unwise BW blaming other BW for what a BM fails to do. Though she can suggest to him that he spend time with his daughters - and, there's nothing in the video that confirmed whether Kysha had or had not done this - HE is supposed to be a man. HIS daughters are HIS responsibility.

[@Roni-Ron]

Many men abandon their family for a controlling wife/ girlfriend

[@spiritualvibrations2825]

So true.

[@Pocahontas0017]

Sometimes the men and family are just narcissists. Some narcissists are so bad you have to cut ties because it’s so TOXIC.

[@childofgrace2087]

He being controlled by those big ol wide hips of Keisha's🤭

[@wordplay1415]

Hmmm the mom was very disrespectful. She said take your husband and son being nasty instead of the family head. He went and got married and is with his wife. His mom is his mom and that’s what he needs her to be.

[@Nawangha]

My family is going through this right now!

[@vanessashimoni6548]

It’s sad how little this guy cares about his daughters and how many excuses he has for his behavior.

[@katendigirigi3807]

This is my favorite episode so far. I also walk away from heated arguments and I have learned that I need to stop doing that. Thanks for this Iyanla and OWN

[@MaryThiboudeax]

When a daughter is not head over heels about her own father...women should take that as a red flag and run in the opposite direction. I don’t see how the wife married him and had a child with him knowing he’s a DEADBEAT dad.

[@IAmKawanaJo]

Now that's a damn word!!!💯💯

[@lanishapenn7957]

I wish I would have had this understanding earlier in my life. *💎

[@MaryThiboudeax]

@@lanishapenn7957 we live and learn...you can change the narrative of your story.❤️

[@brooklynnikki478]

Speaks volumes to who she is as a women, but sometimes we as women think we can change a man. Women, you can’t change a grown man. Never take on that work.

[@deetheefoodie]

🗣🗣🗣 say that. I say that any woman who is laying up with a man who doesn’t take care of his kids is apart of the problem. I have no respect for either

[@candyslewis8679]

I love Ms. Carolyn. She is sooo precious. The joy on her face when her son visited said it all. She is a beautiful soul.

[@jeanettejones4667]

I agree and keisha the real problem

[@bunnielove29]

@@jeanettejones4667 maybe. It seems like the husband is more of the problem than anybody bcuz he should have put his foot down with his wife then she probably wouldn’t have acted so ridiculous

[@thugmonk9837]

I hate when adults weaponize children to hurt one another. Doesn't she understand that she's also punishing her child be denying him a relationship with his grandmother? It's so petty and childish. Just leave the children out of it because they're innocent

[@NIKnakNIKKI]

She runs him. He is allowing the toxicity to continue. He has 4 children, not just one with his wife.

[@Tee-kc3pn]

Donye is allowing his wife to go after his mother because it's easier if his wife does it then his hands can remain clean

[@barikiwa22]

Bingo😳

[@dignifiedblackman4742]

100% That's why it was very important for her mother to acknowledge and apologize for the hurt she caused him by abandoning him for crack.

[@barbaraaustin221]

Yup!!!!

[@buggett]

"You marry a woman who will do it for you." Preach!!

[@novelpettis4444]

He walked back in, after he heard their Guilt towards hurting his feeling, wow that spoke volumes

[@theresaboddie2748]

Dr. Vanzant, you are a God send to many, you not only heal the broken, but you give wisdom, hope and bring peace in the midst of storms, I just love you and thank you for your works 💜💚🙏🏽🙌🏽

[@andralopez4898]

Always be the example..even if it’s silence-THAT PART!!!

[@leaj3359]

Profound wisdom! 🔥

[@jadekay08]

He's a bit narcy.....me, me, me, me, how I feel! BRO your daughters are literally CRYING!!!! No consoling, no loving validation, no accountability. He is WHAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKK. Who would want to be in a relationship with him ewww.... but at the same time he had a stunted childhood...

[@KendraShavonne]

Narcissistic behavior comes from insecurity and the need to feel wanted. Usually when you see a narcissist there’s usually some abandonment issues from their childhood. It doesn’t exclude the behavior

[@KendraShavonne]

I mean excuse

[@TheMogulMommy]

A whooooleeee short for Richard. Lol

[@noirnrougenuit9743]

When you have this level of breakdown, you must do the work within yourself to step out and BE BRAVE and DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY to reach the goal!

[@adeyabell3202]

@@KendraShavonne wish I knew this ahead of time. I met one that wore a mask, alcoholic of 28yrs some sort of mental health patient. I had the privilege of snatching it off

[@marviav3071]

Broken men that carry on broken into their relationships

[@camilleinlondon]

They hugged at the door and I lost it😭😭😭😭

[@cassie101]

Iyanla is a true treasure ....Give this woman her honors while she's still here! Where is the forgiveness in this? The mother and son have both endured enough. It is time for a healing so the wife doesn't have to be stuck in their old issues.

[@belindaskinner7990]

I call bs sir.... He didn't stay with his mother because he didn't want to make it seem like he forgave his mom before his wife does. Sidenote..... His wife will never ever get the respect she deserves because he doesn't respect his mother!!!!

[@DJRenee]

RIGHT

[@fashionlife365daysby_lutrice]

@Belinda Skinner I agree with you I feel that is why the wife wants to keep his mother and daughter's away to prove that she has the respect.

[@HoneyGreenTea390]

This right here.

[@blackhaze7350]

His mother didn't even raise him. Do you think a woman is capable of loving a man if her father was a druggie deadbeat?

[@bunnielove29]

@@blackhaze7350 agreed!

[@HannahYaawusuahAdjepongL-AS]

When I watch these episodes, I ask myself if there is anything I do or say that affects my family members. Mothers don't always get it right especially when they are hurting. As women we try hard to build good relationships but many women put up barriers when they feel they are not liked. Bridges are better than barriers and that is what I like about these episodes. It takes courage and selflessness to help a family heal. ❤️

[@eline1072]

The calm and collected royal energy she has and the mirror she puts in your face this woman has skills that are worth more than gold!!! What a wise woman