[FULL STORY] AITA for providing housing for my daughter but not my stepdaughter?

[@TalesChambers]

2:01 If came from short

[@beachloverpt4763]

He was 100% right , the ex even had the nerve to ask him to leave his own home🤣🤣🤣 and the ex's daughter was dumd as f, by saying she would have guests over 2 or 3 days a week. It is ore then obvious that is daughter would always come first.

[@oonachestnut509]

But she should be able to have a friend over once in a while. They could've negotiated. No boys and a friend no more than twice a week. You can't expect someone to live somewhere all that time and never have company. That's ridiculous.

[@beachloverpt4763]

@@oonachestnut509 regardless, the house wasn't hers and those were the rules, if she doesn't accepet them she has to find somwhere else to stay.

[@rosesophieblack7287]

Idk, I wouldn’t date someone, who had a kid if I knew I can’t treat that child properly. If you think of your partners’ child as a “ not even a stepdaughter “ and you’ve been in her life for over 7 years, then it’s obvious you don’t have that in you to date anyone with kids. Also, the fact that your daughter has a good relationship with your now ex, that’s what you said yourself, proves your ex was treating her right. Yet you thought of her daughter as not even your stepdaughter. So truly, I don’t know… but how he reacted to their relationship ending and how he was talking about his stepdaughter… seems like he’s lacking emotionally. It clearly wasn’t anything important to him.

[@muffinator1239]

Yeah she’s “not even a stepdaughter” he’s not married to her mom, and her dad is involve in her life. She never saw him as a father figure until this house was involved. Daughter of ex doesn’t see his daughter a sister, or even a FRIEND, but you think that he should be considered her father figure? And them having a good relationship afterwards doesn’t mean she even sees her as a daughter. It just means they’re on good terms. You criticizing him for his reaction to the end of the relationship is insane. She broke up with him. He shouldn’t have to grovel and beg to be with someone who is being unreasonable

[@kathrynhamilton9183]

I see both sides but this is a good time for his daughter to grow as a person and his job to help her grow

[@jezeannwilliams1145]

His daughter already seemed to be a good judge of character though and is super focused on working towards her future

[@cattailsfun7042]

NTA, I wouldn’t want strangers coming over to a house I share multiple times a week and then probably getting drunk. I would not feel safe in that house if I lived there. Emmy is op’s daughter so naturally Emmy is her responsibility and Kara. And the following events just solidified that the choice he made was a correct choice to make.

[@ladylily]

Mom and daughter wanted to own all of that man's property. Ex even expected OP to move out of his own house. I think OP was shocked about the KIA and Pawn Shop thing, but his daughter wasn't shocked. Sisters of any degree know more about each other than the parents.

[@caponebd7941]

I’m not really sure how to interpret this one. It’s just strange that a 7 year relationship ended so easily and OP didn’t seem interested in doing anything to save it. Honestly, it sounds like he was never really all that invested in the relationship to begin with.

[@muffinator1239]

He shouldn’t have to be in shambles and make a relationship work with someone who is being unreasonable

[@charlottelemaitre791]

The fact that that man in some way forced his ex to find a very dangerous place to live and doesn’t express an ounce of guilt, regret or even just compassion, is enough to tell me that this is a self centered and cold person. If all you care about is yourself and your privileges, then maybe you’re just not ready to live communally. Much like your daughter.

[@muffinator1239]

I need you to please be fr. She broke up with him over a property she has no claim over. Her situation is purely on her entitlement. He’s is not selfish or self centered when he sat down and tried to compromise. Don’t be an entitled loser.

[@susannana6729]

Ntah she doesnt have to share her life her things her house its hers she may want completely away from gf daughter its her right period some mat not like this pov but its the real if she doesnt want to she doesnt have to

[@thegr8destroyer]

So OP had an opportunity to help people who have been in his life for 7+ years but chose to discard them like nothing? All because his daughter has the social skills of a dingbat? The world is not a comfortable place and there are steps to take in order to help everyone, she could have made a contractual agreement signed saying that she can stay but no visitors were allowed or something along those lines. I'm pretty sure the consequences for the 2 at the end was a result of that 7+ year familiarity and safety being ripped apart out of nowhere and OP is truly an A-hole for not handling the situation like the adult he's suppose to be, instead of giving the final say to a 17 year old.

[@sarahm2005]

How do you know she has "the social skills of a dingbat"? Maybe she knows something about the sort of people the other girl (forgot her name!) chooses to spend time with and doesn't want them around. Maybe she felt like if the other girl moved in, she would never leave. Maybe she saw something in her that you don't know about. This is why marriage is important. It would have been different if they were married and were more committed to one another. He had no obligation to his girlfriend's daughter who was living under his roof and probably being provided for, who has a father that she can go to and ask for help.

[@caroleharrison8884]

​@@sarahm2005I agree with you 💯

[@fehoobar]

Did you listen to the full story? One major concern that she didn't feel safe if the stepdaughter's biodad would be there sometimes. Didn't. Feel. Safe. With the stepdaughter's incarceration it kind of makes it obvious that the biodad was a seriously bad influence. I was mostly going to say that if the kids were raised as sisters, it would make sense for OP to find some compromise so his daughter would have a relationship with what's the closest thing to a sister she has, but that obviously went out the window. I'm just kind of sad of how it all went down, also OP was quite clearly not very attached to either his live-in gf or the stepdaughter. Some people just are like that. I don't think there are any AH here.

[@AkA553]

Did you heard the story? Op is right for favour his own daughter over his gf's daughter and op's daughter wasn't wrong here she had ligit doubts regarding Cara's personality about being reckless and being responsible. And His daughter was ready to share the house if Cara agreed with no guest rule but Cara refused immediately so Cara was the problem here.

[@oonachestnut509]

​@fehoobar They could've just told the dad that his presence in the apartment isn't welcome. Also, I can see maybe saying no boys allowed, but why couldn't she have girlfriends over? The girls dad doesn't have to be a bad person for the daughter, not to want him around. I think you saying he wasn't really attached to them is right, but it really sucks that he was with them for 7 years and still feels that way.

[@thatguyhere9085]

YTA. It *is* favoritism. Regardless of whether or not you are married or not, you have been apart of their lives for over 7 years! Kara asked you if she could live there for school reasons, where as Emmy just wants to live there because at some point you are going to manually sign over ownership. Emmy also said that Kara shouldn’t live there with her because they have different lifestyles. And you agreed. Just because Kara has an active father in her life, doesn’t mean you have to disregard her as if she is some stranger. Maybe you should rethink the reasons here. Nobody is entitled, throwing a fit, actively causing problems, they are reasonably upset at your decision.

[@AkA553]

Well obviously he is one's father and other one's mother's boyfriend. Every parent should favour there child more than other people. While i agree gurls could have shared the house temporarily with Cara paying for her share of utilities with no guest policy but Cara refused to guest policy so OP is not wrong for favour his own child over his gf's.

[@oonachestnut509]

​@AkA553 He's still wrong. I can see saying no boys but you can't expect someone to live somewhere for years and never have friends over. There could've been some middle ground, but they just refuse.

[@muffinator1239]

It’s not favoritism. She has no claim to the property. She’s not his legally adopted daughter or step daughter. They ARE entitled, thinking they have any claim to the property by saying it’s favoritism when they have no father-daughter relationship, as her biological father is involved in her life. And it is also entitled because she broke up with OP over his decision It would be a bad decision on his part to allow this girl who doesn’t see him as a father figure and who he doesn’t see a daughter figure to live in his property rent free with her attitude towards the entire situation

[@muffinator1239]

@@oonachestnut509she didn’t say “no friends over” she doesn’t wasn’t random people in her house. And the daughters had who she doesn’t feel safe around.

[@SofiaBustillos2014]

First to comment!