Welcome to Plathville : Deconstruction, Dysfunction & Trauma

[@MegCazalet]

Ethan said he’d kick out a child that was gay. That’s part of what lead to that powerful comment Olivia said about parents choosing their principles over their own child.

[@vickicali]

Ugh.

[@moustik31]

Also said "principles" are so shallow. Look at the Duggar: Josh is still embraced, while Jill is being ostracised. The Duggar DO treat Jill worse than they treat Josh. This should be more of a wakeup call!

[@bela516]

To me, that’s a line in the sand. That makes you unworthy of being a parent or spouse in my eyes.

[@herewegokids7]

She needs to move on. They are both unhappy

[@FabricofTime]

​@bela516 yep. That would be my hard, walk-out-the-door line. Actually, has been. I broke off an engagement over more or less that.

[@Amberwavesofgame]

I will never get over the fact that Barry chose to use the word "brainwashing" for Olivia's outsider influence on Ethan, while him and Kim had to keep their children entirely cut off from the outside world to maintain control. Literally bonkers levels of unawareness.

[@Cat_Woods]

As well as next level gaslighting.

[@leahtv7778]

They didn't allow Ethan or his siblings to drink coke or soda into adulthood but her thinking healthy relationships are necessary is "brainwashing" to Barry. Un. Believable.

[@madisonxclaire]

Not once have I thought that you and James are too loud or cut each other off too much. I’ve watch all of your videos and both you and James are so insightful, witty, and have a fantastic dynamic. Please don’t hesitate to make videos together, I’d personally love it.

[@vegasa2067]

I just think James needs a better mic because he yells a lot when he does videos with Jen and I think it’s bc he is trying to get the mic to pick it up or something

[@derekl7563]

I love hearing them chat and go on tangents. It’s like talking with my friends and my mind understand it

[@nuanceexists]

Agreed! And yeah, I think a lot of the audio issues would be fixed by James having a well-configured mic

[@quackandcat]

This. I love the two of them together, they’re our King and our Reverend 🥺

[@dontcallmemalice]

I love when you and James interact. But it’s your video and I support you no matter what. Unless you do something terrible like start a cult

[@demonoflight]

"I will take being awake every single damn day. Good luck trying to put me to sleep again." That is such a powerful statement. I barely know Olivia but I'm extremely proud of her.

[@Himmiefan]

While Ethan's talking his gender role crap, you can see Olivia deciding to leave right then. You can see her disengaging.

[@herewegokids7]

Go go go!!!

[@jackiejormpjomp]

Yes!! That face. It is a face of realization that he's not going to change and she needs to get out of there.

[@MsKallys]

I had the same face when I was engaged to someone in the same church I was. I was mid twenties, wasn’t raised religious but my parents didn’t care as long as I was happy. He started with that when I wasn’t present with my parents. Little remarks here and there; I assume thinking they would appreciate reeling in their very headstrong daughter. My parents told him to stop and that I’d catch on and leave. Took me 6 months, him and his family ganging up on me over a holiday and I left. My dad later said he’d seen my expression shift when and he knew to just be patient and I would leave on my own. That heartbreak is something different though. You realize in real time they don’t actually care for you the way you do them.

[@spOOkytimes]

That expression was heartbreaking. It's the realization that her husband only cares about his own happiness and ego rather than being married to someone who is their own person with differing thoughts and opinions. He just wants a nanny and housekeeper, not a spouse.

[@emilystefano8924]

Right, she barely reacted. She was already detaching.

[@amandaliss]

what bothers me the most is how kim did a complete 180 from how she forced the kids to live, now is living her best life, and does not even ACKNOWLEDGE or apologize for this! how can you abandon all of your former principles and not care that the damage has already been done?

[@StonedHunter]

Because it has ALWAYS been about Kim having ultimate control, literally nothing else matters to people like that

[@Sam-nz2ko]

@@StonedHunterexactly, it’s always “Me, myself and I” with people like her. They’re wounded and unwilling to do even the most basic self reflection. Even if that would actually bring her family closer together.

[@joanna0988]

​@@StonedHunter I don't like Kim but I always felt like she was so hardcore only to appease her husband. Sometimes being your own oppressor and abuser is easier to take than admitting that someone else (who you might love) is doing it to you.

[@endorenna7106]

My mom was a lot more fundamentalist when I was growing up, though not quite to the extent of Kim. She still promoted psychological trauma through the vehicle of "believe in God or burn in hell," and all that crap, perpetuated sexism by taking us to certain churches, and enabled my dad's emotional abuse. HOWEVER, unlike Kim, my mom has since worked on herself, introspected, and struggled her way out of a lot of her own brainwashing - and she's both apologized, profusely, and has changed her behavior. One of my siblings and I have forgiven her and we get along very well now because she took responsibility for what she did, even though she did it all with the best of intentions. My other sibling has perpetuated the behaviors, though thankfully that sibling doesn't have children.

[@jillianlea9690]

EXACTLY . ITS insane ..she's like ok byyy everything I taught you was bullshit

[@cindydiehl9758]

To me, being loud and accidentally interrupting each other is how my neurodivergent family speaks to each other. For what it’s worth, I find how the two of you interact endearing.

[@Sarah-Graham575]

Same, same🧜‍♀️

[@sweetbbyrage]

I agree! I find it comforting.

[@abbyhayes22]

💯🙌 well said

[@madiskin]

Seconded! My partner and I are both neurodivergent and we are loud and interrupt each other when we get excited chatting together so I always just assumed it was the same for them.

[@arielrodriguez968]

I think it’s sweet, like Mickey Atkins and her partner. It shows that they are so familiar and comfortable with each other as a couple that they’ve developed their own form of communication

[@bubbles_mly6614]

"You can have good memories with bad people"...James also said that in one of your older Plath videos and it has stuck with me ever since. It sounds so simple, yet it was something that never dawned on me before. My mom was abusive in similar ways to Kim and I've since deconstructed from religion. I used to feel guilty about those good memories, but now I don't. Instead, I feel a sense of gratitude. I'm glad they happened. It's a shame that they were few and far between.... but they still happened. Thank you for this vid!

[@vickicali]

I love that sentiment.

[@spOOkytimes]

That really stuck with me too. James has some amazing insights.

[@Carouseldaydreams]

The social worker in him slipped out, rightfully and deservingly so!

[@ipacarrollread]

I haven’t watched the other Plathville videos so I had never heard that but it is one of the most important statements I’ve ever heard. My ex-husband was abusive but I can’t say that every moment was bad. Wow, my mind is blown.

[@kareneagleson528]

I can’t understand why Olivia gets so much hate on social media. I think she’s a brilliant example for other woman deconstructing. In my eyes she’s a star!

[@lulu5803]

I was about to comment about this! People are SO hateful towards her for no reason. She's really done nothing but expect the same respect she gives. Her grace in dealing with all of them has been admirable to me

[@TheBureaucromancer]

You answered your own question: “ She’s a brilliant example for other women deconstructing.” People HATE a woman who both shows vulnerability and won’t apologize for deconstructing the way she needs to.

[@LoudLeo3]

I know someone who hated Olivia but she was VERY fundie values with similar family dynamics and thought the mom on the show was “misunderstood” (which absolutely blew my mind). I don’t follow the logic but I see the Plath’s comes from a dysfunctional family system. Truth tellers like Olivia will always be demonized within a dysfunctional system. But maybe if your family is also dysfunctional you would follow their logic? Like people think it’s normal because it’s normal to them? That’s my best guess.

[@mymia731]

Exactly what you said.

[@tonitaylorr]

The main and prime reason she will always be scrutinized harder is because of misogyny. Its very systemic and deep rooted to the point where people can’t even recognize it was the sole reason people do things like that.

[@stacie1595]

Its really disheartening to watch Mariah fall back into the fold and turn on Olivia. Unfortunately, it looks like Kim is winning in this battle :/ i hope Olivia finds a fulfilling and happy life without crazy inlaws and an opressive husband.

[@Ellyc2929]

She's still young and she grew up with Kim so it'll take her longer to get there...but she is smart and eventually she will see Kim for who she really is.

[@FabricofTime]

It's a common yoyo fundamentalist kids go through. Most do eventually break away to at least some extent. I can think of very few kids I grew up with who are as far into that as they were raised. And IMO, incrementally out is better than not at all. It gives their kids an even better chance. It's sooooooo scary to draw a line with your family especially when they were so much of your world. I've had to do it, and my parents are nowhere near as difficult as the Plaths, and it was still really hard. And I was way older than Mariah.

[@Amberwavesofgame]

Im so glad she got out young and without having a child with him. She's fully free and I have no doubt her life will be full of adventure and a future much better romance.

[@gretchensmith2852]

I’d also guess Mariah is in a weird place because her mom is acting more “liberal” than when she was growing up. It’s hard to see that the core hasn’t changed when the trappings look different.

[@Ellyc2929]

@gretchensmith2852 yeah exactly, for Mariah, she likely believes that what she said to Kim helped heal their relationship. In reality, it just made Kim go more covert. Kim will continue to hurt Mariah so long as she remains the way she is without any self reflection. It's sad because all kids (even ones that are now adults) just crave for their parents to love and accept them, so of course she is going to go hard for her mom right now. To some extent she is getting what she has always deserved. Too bad it's too little too late.

[@rainbeau5164]

Olivia was always WAY out of Ethan's league, but never more so than now. She's kind of awesome.

[@makeminemonsters]

"Cooking three meals a day is one of the only ways to a man's heart." That is beyond cruel to say. I know it seems petty and ridiculous, but what he's directly implying is that the only thing he values about Olivia is what she can do for him. Not her personality, not her intellect, her sense of humor, her thoughtfulness, nothing but the kind of service a stranger can provide. Why on earth would she have any reason to stay in that marriage if that's how Ethan really feels about her? Also, side note: I love a Jen+James collab, especially reaction vids! You guys have a great dynamic.

[@manderly33]

Ethan and Olivia’s relationship is such a perfect encapsulation of WHY a lot of women are moving left and men are moving right: there’s a *privilege* in being part of the patriarchy that these dudes do not want to give up, and until they *get* that, they are not going to progress or be appealing to a stunning, intelligent, thoughtful woman like Olivia. (A lot of white women need to do this too.)

[@kyladesanto8421]

Totally agree! I wish men could also see that privilege does not equal freedom. Them participating in patriarchy also oppresses them in not being able to fully express who they are.

[@Sam-nz2ko]

Yes 🙌🏻

[@mefford67]

Facts!

[@jessicaschneider4043]

What do you mean by white women need to do this too?

[@jacquelynroe9036]

I worry about these men like Ethan who have someone like Olivia leave them (and rightly so), but they are following the likes of Tucker Carlson and some of these manosphere bros. They won’t get the chance to self-reflect and grow, but instead just be told that the problem is women and feminism. I just worry these men are getting more angry and violent.

[@thatchick1205]

I’m glad Olivia left. She didn’t deserve any blame. Kim deserves it all. Same with her husband. I don’t blame her for leaving. They are crazy.

[@tonichan89]

Without Olivia there as a scapegoat, the family can't stay united for long

[@Qubsb83bu9908HF0VG09]

You and James whoopin and hollering over Plathville was what made me fall in love with you guys! That og platville vid was my first from your channel and your boisterousness, and james’ wrestlemania narration won me over!

[@MC-lm7de]

"BURN IT DOWN, KINGSLAYER" and "SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH" are in my lexicon forever

[@MsDanista]

That’s where they got me too. Jennonite for life!

[@Exiled.New.Yorker]

A note to anyone escaping. LOVE IS NOT A REWARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR. If its being used that way, its not love, its abusive manipulation.

[@emilygraburns]

I have NEVER noticed you guys interrupting each other. You bounce off each other so well, if you want to do more videos with James, I’d love it!!

[@spoonywaffles]

Same

[@Potato5115]

yeah, sounds like a normie criticism!

[@KLG_85]

Yeah, I love them together. They are just excited and passionate about their topics. If others are bothered by how they enact on their own channel, maybe these viewers need to reflect on why something so minimal bothers them. Viewers need to respect her creative approach or don't watch. Btw, I love this channel. I have gotten so many of my friends to watch it, including my husband lol😅.

[@emmahughes3142]

ditto!!! as a neurodivergent person it sounds so normal to me hehehe

[@emilygraburns]

@@emmahughes3142 same lol

[@kellydougherty7989]

“”blast radius of an abusive parent” I love that, I’ve never thought of it that way and I felt that in my gut. It describes that experience perfectly.

[@online1roomschoolhouse886]

I LOVE it when you and James talk over each other and interrupt. It’s not disrespectful, it’s just chaotic, in a joyful way. It feels like hanging out with old friends.

[@squid3946]

Me too! Sometimes you're so excited to talk to someone that the words just burst out.

[@abigailrhodes4231]

Agree. They're also just smart and full of good points and good ideas and they riff off of each other really well.

[@alyssa14121]

Yep, I've never once been annoyed by it. It makes me feel like I'm chatting with my friends, not watching a polished, edited video.

[@sadiemonson3448]

Holy crap crossover of my internet faves

[@Loren641]

Precisely what I thought. You guys are just so excited about the content.

[@loveandgutstv]

The thing that pisses me off about Ethan is that he could’ve listened to her and heard her and worked thru it with her. But instead he is just focused on what he wants from Olivia and how she isn’t being what he wants. He acts like she is entirely responsible for the divorce. Like he is begging her to stop it and it’s like DUDE you have made zero effort for this woman. That was you taking no responsibility.

[@elleofhearts8471]

Thats very on brand for reactionary responses tho, at least ethan is consistent. To them, Everything that goes wrong in a marriage is the woman's fault and the man is always right and reasonable. It's emotional manipulation and emotional abuse. He's basically requiring her unquestioning submission in everything in order for the marriage to work. Olivia deserves better than that and better than ethan and I'm only so glad that she sees that as well and doesnt feel trapped by marriage to sideline her own happiness and well being. Far too many women acquiesce when being blamed for things they're not responsible for and don't stand their ground. This is why I'm so pro divorce and so proud of Olivia for having a strong sense of self and is putting her self determination over ethan and his bullshit.

[@spOOkytimes]

It's especially gross because it sounds like he knew Olivia was not like his family and into that kind of dynamic and he liked that about her. He seems very two-faced.

[@elleofhearts8471]

@@spOOkytimes you raise a good point. ive noticed this weird thing where conservative men sometimes go after women who are not conservative and try to "convert" them into conservatism. Why they find it preferable to try to browbeat someone who doesn't want the same things they want, rather than being with someone who already wants the same things as them, is either an insane fetish or has even more sinister ulterior motives behind it.

[@Itcouldbebunnies]

​@@elleofhearts8471 You can gain a lot of status in the fundie community for converting people, and extra points if a man is able to bring an emancipated, "sinful" woman to heel. Ethan is desperate because he lost his beautiful wife, his status, and his power. He seems like a ticking timebomb right now. The best thing Olivia can do right now, for her own safety and mental health, is to separate herself from that family entirely.

[@elleofhearts8471]

​@@Itcouldbebunnies Agreed, Olivia needs to save herself at all costs. Nothing good is going to come from being around that family. Im glad she didn't have any kids with him to link her to that family forever. Anyone willing to go as far as to marry under false pretenses isnt above baby trapping. The way you explained it makes a lot of sense. The principal is crazy tho because a situation where the woman leaves is always a possibility (not that cons arent trying to change that too). Having so much hinging upon marrying someone for the wrong reasons (ulterior motives) by trying to change them against their will (aka brainwashing) is 100% cult culture. Yet cons maintain that its non cons and lgbt people trying to shove their ideals down everyone else's throat. Every accusation is a confession with them. Hypocrisy and cruelty are features, not bugs to them.

[@paigemclachlan2189]

Ultimately it's up to you two BUT I am firmly in the camp of liking the videos you two do together

[@autumn7809]

I'm a couple years younger than Ethan and Olivia, and now, six years in, it is really standing out to me how insane it was to put that girl through all of this shit when she was TWENTY ONE

[@Bitsa75]

People on Reddit are awful about Olivia. I find her to be AMAZING! She is young and open to learning- dedicated to fighting her programming and brainwashing and she made sure to advocate for potential children she could have had if she stayed with Ethan. It’s beautiful and refreshing. We need more Olivias!

[@agoule01]

Poor Olivia you can practically see her deciding to divorce him as he's talking about "three meals a day"

[@thrgost]

She tried so hard for everyone in that family. I did the same for my in-laws. She's lucky she got out before having children. I wasn't so fortunate, not that I regret my son, he's the love of my life, but I can't change who his family is.

[@marym7975]

Also as someone with ADHD all my loved ones and I interrupt each other all the time, it is cute because it shows the other person is interested and excited, I don't hate it

[@ynnahhh12]

i’m glad this isn’t just me- i feel so annoying sometimes but this is very validating

[@janinebasil]

@@ynnahhh12 Definitely not just you. My mum and I literally talk at the same time, sometimes having a different conversation at the same time but keep up with both! She doesn't believe she's ADHD lol

[@Breepop]

how did a youtube comment section become the first time i've ever felt validated about excitedly interrupting people

[@Oatmilklatte2]

same!! My friends visited my family with me for the first time and said “ I now understand why you speak and have conversations the way you do, it’s how your family talks”. I certainly am working on not interrupting people, but i always got the vibe that Jen and James were like me, and just get excited talking to people and their partner and just want to say their thoughts when they come to mind! Never want them to feel bad for being themselves!

[@alyshaking]

Same! I never even noticed this with Jen and James.

[@FearMyLadyBits]

yeah if someone accused me of being possessed by a demon, I'd avoid being within 500 feet of them ever again.

[@spOOkytimes]

For not letting her steal their credit card no less. It sounds like something an angry child would say when you don't let them have your card to buy Robux or something.

[@kirielbranson4843]

Exactly because what would be something too horrible to do to a demon? Nothing really.

[@FearMyLadyBits]

@kirielbranson4843 yep, if they don't consider you to be human or think torture will "save your soul", then nothing's out of bounds for zealots.

[@coolchameleon21]

i would start messing with them 😂

[@emdz4425]

51:30 As someone who deconstructed what Oliva says here is so powerful. She's choosing to be awake, to actually have a stake in her own life. That takes incredible strength after growing up subjugated in an oppressive system that requires you to constantly silence yourself. Good for her.

[@Ash-fo3ii]

The new season is seriously emotionally draining to me. I'm so proud of Olivia, but the other kids getting sucked back into the cult breaks my heart. Life was hard so they went back to mom and dad so they don't have to think.

[@spoonywaffles]

Reverend Fridays preaching on boundaries is the healing we need.

[@sunnylilme]

You nailed it. Jen's view was dead spot on..

[@trshhd]

“good luck tryna put me to sleep again” PERIODDDDD

[@hannahmoody-goo8739]

Absolute fire

[@jessicab3344]

ive never noticed or thought that. you clearly have a lovely healthy relationship, at no stage have i ever thought you yelled at each other! you love each other and you speak in your short hand like all couples, its a thing of beauty not shame.

[@Alanah12345]

Plathville is such a fantastically heartbreaking show. Even though Ethan took a drastic turn for the worst and it was obviously not going to work out, I was still bawling when they decided to divorce. All I could think about was that goofy kid who tried pop for the first time with his new wife. Ugh, so many mixed emotions from this show, but it’s so good. 😩

[@probablyhyperfixating]

You and James are a staple I hate that people complain about that. You have built a beautiful channel and those that find problems are ridiculous and just nit picking! Look how far you have come with James. If you like him on your channel that is your choice! Don't feel insecure you're awesome sauce!😘😘

[@vegasa2067]

I mean people are allowed to say that yelling in a video is too much for them, that doesn’t make them haters for expressing a reaction to a video. I would love videos with James and Jen together if James didn’t feel the need to yell to be heard, people yelling can be triggering for some people. Like this is an issue that can easily be remedied by providing adequate microphones

[@FortheLoveofBees]

@@vegasa2067hard agree, past a certain point it inhibits the experience of getting the information I came here for and that J&J worked hard to research, script, record, and edit. They’re smart people who produce excellent content. Just because we’re saying it’s *a bit too loud* doesn’t diminish their intelligence and hard work. In fact, I think we’re asking them to showcase that more ❤

[@chillarypuff]

​@vegasa2067 that is understandable, but someone's triggers cannot prevent a couple from communicating how they communicate. It's okay if someone doesn't watch every single video based on their needs. The microphone suggestion is helpful and constructive

[@annadrift4]

I feel like the people complaining are coming from low feedback style communication culture. As a high feedback person myself, it didn't even register to me.

[@annagraciefacie]

My partner and I have been reading "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" and it has been incredibly validating and healing. A lot of what was touched on in this video is directly discussed in that book. Much healing and hope for all who grew up with parents who didn't always do what was best for their child. You deserved better and can heal

[@hey_thatsmyname]

I keep putting off that book bc I have a feeling the experience is going to incapacitate me for a little bit and I've been so busy. I'm about to have close to a month free, so I should probably start easing into it.

[@dunestar29]

What irks me about people saying college is all about sitting at a desk and learning book knowledge don’t actually seem to know much about college at all. Yes, there are traditional lectures, but a lot of college is more than that. Experiential learning, internships/capstones, deep discussions and learning to communicate with others who we may not have much in common with, etc.

[@h0neycrumbz]

For what it's worth, I echo the "I love Jen, James, and your relationship" sentiment. I think for neurodiverse folks in general we excitedly will chatter over one another [what is a live steam chat if not just 30,000 people all texting their steam of consciousness to one another during a movie?] MAYBE as someone conditioned to be cool with it/is also actively learning to not talk over peeps, I didn't see it/recognize it? EITHER WAY - team FF forever. I think that if either one of you was being intentionally disrespectful of the other - FF wouldn't have just celebrated 5 amazing years! Grateful for the healthy relationship modelling you're sharing with us! [But also ilybothplz!]

[@shanecrutchfield3824]

Would love to have a deeper dive into Barry and his role in this family dynamic. Because he does have a role!

[@elleofhearts8471]

right? I don't watch the show myself but I more than gladly watch jen's retelling. From what I can parse, Barry has a very stealthy and low key role in the family even though patriarchal values are supposed to be dominant within the family. He doesn't really play as much of a vocal role or have as big of a physical presence as kim (on camera anyway), which is odd. I'd also like to see Jen hone in on Barry some more and his role in the family because i feel like there's more to him than we can see.

[@rachel_sj]

As someone who’s been healing and deconstructing from Fundamentalist Christianity for 15-16 years, I do have to say: It Does Get Better. Each day in which you’re questioning how your grew up, realizing that things really weren’t ok, and healing/growing bit by bit each day, you’re making life so much better than your community possibly dreamed of. I used to also be afraid of what my old church friends would think of me on social media. After awhile, I just stopped caring about what they thought and I made much better friends who would respect me for being Me. I haven’t talked to them in years and I don’t see myself talking to them soon. I love Olivia’s quote and I’d also be damned if I had repeated the same toxic cycle of being submissive and a doormat for others to step on me on their way to Heaven. Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum.

[@smexipenguin]

I would love to see you and Olivia sit down and have a conversation on camera SO BAD. I’ve wanted it for years, I love her.

[@julknowl]

Wtf I love the way you and James talk to each other. It is authentic for people who are secure in their relationship and fun people all around. You remind me of my family from Boston. Loud, boisterous, and often intense sounding but always in a humorous or passionate way.

[@luwho5462]

I feel for Olivia. While not religious in anyway, my husband comes from a very dysfunctional family that operates very similar to the way the Plaths operate. His mother expects loyalty and any push back results in various forms of gaslighting and abuse. My husband and I went no contact with her and one of his siblings 5 years ago, after I established some boundaries and it led to them telling horrible stories about me at family events. They would even talk badly about me in front of our children. It eventually led to his grandmother and aunt showing up on our doorstep the day after Christmas to call me all sorts of horrible names and tell my husband he should leave me, even though he was the one who wanted to go no contact long before then. He wound up telling them both to go to hell. His other siblings were at first supportive of our decision and even started establishing their own boundaries. However, over the years they have been love bombed and manipulated back into the fold and only one of his siblings has anything to do with us. It has been such a hard journey and at times I wondered if I really was the bad person they made me out to be. Thankfully I have a loving and supportive husband to go through this with. I cannot imagine being in Olivia’s shoes where it seems as everyone is against you. I haven’t been able to stomach watching the last 2 seasons of Plathville…it makes me angry to watch, but I do follow Olivia’s story on social media. She is so strong and inspiring.

[@christinagilmore1514]

Personally as an adult with ADHD, I've barely even noticed interruptions. My family is large and loud and we also constantly interrupt as part of our conversational pattern. I think this criticism comes down to taste, and part of the appeal of conversational youtube videos is a feeling of authenticity. I wouldn't ever ask the two of you to feel you have to self censor your patterns. I've glanced through the comments and I've seen quite a few people who feel the same way. Even so I also understand if its easier or bettee for you to change format to accommodate yourself and what your motivation and inspiration needs from you to continue to meet the goals you have for yourself first. I will happily enjoy whatever content I'm blessed enough to experience here.

[@stephe1506]

❤ a someone with similar family neurodivergence you said it really well thank you

[@elainaperry4340]

I did not grow up in a religious family but I did experience trauma and estrangement between the ages of 19 and now, at 27. The story of Olivia is more resonant than any storyline in reality tv I have come across. I can relate to her more than I wish I would be able to, and I really admire her courage, openness, patience, self preservation, kindness, and maturity. I’ve cried so many times watching this show, and feel like I’ve learned about myself and my family and trauma through watching it. Thanks for doing another Plath episode, and ps I have never thought you and James were too loud or unwatchable, love you both.

[@barbiebear5036]

I love the passion that you and James display when you make videos together. A big reason I always have KZbin videos playing in the background while I do chores, crochet, etc is because I don't want to feel lonely, and the way you two interact with each other really helps with that.

[@Loren641]

I’ve had horrific anxiety the last few months, and I often listen to Fundie Fridays to comfort me as I fall asleep. I do listen to them fully awake too to enjoy the premium content. 😉

[@Catherinenot]

I am an introvert and I really like watching passionate people interact and talk about subjects I'm interested in so I love seeing you and James work together-however I also really enjoy a well thought out script from Jen as I find you viewpoint empathetic and balanced.

[@susanstephan7689]

That line from Olivia was so impactful and it reminded me that the reason I was so lucky to be able to get out of fundamentalism more easily than some others is because I had family and friends who never bought into it the way I did and who were there for me when I was finally done. If you have someone you care about who is deep in it right now, keep that in mind. If you can keep yourself safe without burning that bridge, that person will be so thankful that you're there if they ever decide to deconstruct.

[@heyspeckle8782]

damn, I only watched until Moriah got kicked out and Ethan stood up for Olivia. It looked like they were going NC with their parents and I was so proud of them. It's sad to see how it actually played out :(

[@aislinnm.b.7458]

Yes, my deconstruction journey started online- it started here. Thank you Jen, always, for your contributions and representation of this funny little community. We love Rev. Jen!!!!

[@rachelwithaface]

The scene where Ethan was saying goodbye to his siblings and Lydia was crying... Seeing Lydia cry is like seeing a puppy cry and it made ME cry bruh

[@chillarypuff]

Lydia is such a sweetheart, I hated seeing her cry like that too

[@spOOkytimes]

That alone signals to me that Kim doesn't gaf about her kids. If I saw my kid crying, I would try my best to help them and make things right. I know someone just like Kim and none of her kids talk to her anymore.

[@sarah3796]

Heart breaking

[@vintagearisen]

"It's possible to have good memories with bad people" hit me hard. I do have good memories with my estranged parents. Thanks for that pep talk, Jen. I'm crying now but I needed to hear that.

[@MacGuffinExMachina]

I don't know Olivia personally, and I'm already biased in favor of her. I doubt you'd feel differently if you didn't know her. I had no idea people complained about you and James. I prefer y'all together on videos, but do what you're comfortable with.

[@THEHalfBrainedWonder]

I really appreciate how you speak about deconstruction. It can be really hard to describe to people who've never had to go through that and it's just hard in general to go through. I appreciate how much compassion you have for people going this process.

[@montanagirl3835]

Personally I enjoy both. I like the quirky back and forth banter videos sometimes and other times I really enjoy the focused video essays where nobody gets off topic. A mix is a nice balance imo.

[@danixxgreen]

Jen, I just wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude. I discovered your channel with the "Welcome to Plathville" video, and it resonated deeply with me, especially since I was already following the show. Your content has been instrumental in my journey toward questioning and moving away from toxic Christianity. I truly believe that my own channel wouldn’t be what it is today without your inspiration and the courage you’ve shown in your work. Thank you for being such an important part of my growth and for creating content that challenges and inspires, although you do not know me. Keep up the amazing work!

[@hanny1412]

Plathville related story time: I grew up in Tallahassee, FL which is about 45 south of Cairo, GA (where the Plaths are from). I have always been super involved with bluegrass and oldtime music as well as contra/square dancing and I did not realize until very recently that I shared this community with the Plaths. I went to small bluegrass jams with the Plaths (they were honestly a majority of the people in the jam circle 😂) and danced with them at contra dances. My high school friend even remembers Ethan awkwardly flirting with us. I didn’t realize they were the Plaths until my friend made the connection for me. In my defense, the show came out in 2019 and my interactions with them were well before that, plus all fundies look the same. I honestly just thought they looked familiar because of the TV show. It was a real eureka moment for me lmao

[@SesshyLover777]

Literally called my mom because i couldnt be the only one in my life to hear "learning head knowledge" tonight...

[@Tattooedmommy1847]

this channel has helped me with my and my husband's deconstruction so much, For the Allie Beth opening, you should do Midsommar.

[@hollyk7052]

Interrupting is a sign that you’re safe and comfortable with each other and worst case you can always go back if you miss a thought and need to restate something, that’s what the edit is for!

[@hunterallen4014]

I LOVE James. I never mind you two bantering but I do enjoy a more focused video essay, personally. James solo shows are becoming a fave of mine!

[@montyollie]

Yes, me too!

[@margaretdowns9350]

Hard agree - they scratch a different itch for me. I love watching the two of you banter, but I also love watching a deeply researched, focused video essay.

[@gen3630]

Your message at 59:18 was to Kim, but I felt that. It’s me. I needed to hear that. I’ve started going to therapy to learn how to parent my kids better and man, putting that education into practice, making different responses to my triggers is SO HARD. And I fail a lot. But, I want my kids to call me sometimes when I’m old (and keep on wanting my hugs!) so I’ll keep on working. Thanks, Jen! ❤

[@phir77]

You got this!

[@blondebomber-qo2uy]

I LOVE the chemistry between you two. I'm astonished anyone complained about that 🤔 I appreciate that you take feedback constructively though. (No matter how insane that feedback sounds to me lol.)

[@zephyrrain4699]

as a deaf viewer I very much appreciate you speaking louder! I can actually understand your speech quite a bit of the time and my normal speech understanding is next to nothing. I will always watch/interact with people who speak louder and clearly more than anything else. I do believe people have volume controls on their devices so they should probably look into that

[@lindsaygrootnibbelink1491]

Omg! I love the back and forth you and James have. I love love love you both individually and also together!

[@fmcevoy1]

FYI, one of the hallmarks of active alcoholism (see: DUI) is a major control issue.

[@heathergardiner1592]

As someone with adhd I find it more natural to follow you and James talking together the way you do, including being loud 💕 It’s not all your content that is in that format, even collabs between you and James so I think it’s okay if it’s not for everyone, I’d be really sad to see it change for the few times yall do just watch and react to things together. Idk just don’t get too down about it because I think it’s a personal preference issue and not necessarily an accessibility issue in this case. Like with plathville if someone wanted to get a recap without the style of you and James riffing there are videos covering that info in a way they are likely to find more accessible so it’s okay if this video hadn’t been for them, you’ve got lots that meet their accessibility needs and this info is not something like informing us about politicians or anything pressing like that, it’s just commentary 🤷🏼‍♀️ Either way love you both as creators and your channel really is my favorite, yall are great and deserve the success this channel has seen and that success doesn’t demand you be perfect, it’s clear yall put great care and thought into your content even when it’s a (slightly) light hearted topic. I appreciate yall and the work you do!

[@manderly33]

So, Kim is only celebrating Christmas now that she’s single? That screams “I want to be the favorite parent” to me.

[@AlexanderJasperJay]

It also could be indicative of just how much control Berry had over Kim while they were together

[@Emily_onFashion]

Ugh for real you are right! It’s tough to see a family dynamic that I recognize so well. Thank you sooooo much for posting this! I did not know about the show and thank you for explaining it and showing me! You saved me the pain and just gave me your amazing insightful thoughts!!!! ❤❤❤

[@OnePersonOneOpinion]

i really needed to see this today. ive never watched this show outside of your videos, but Olivia really *is* an inspiration about when hard boundaries with blood relatives are what's best for you. i hope she finds the best found family

[@spOOkytimes]

I've been an Olivia stan ever since her arc with Mariah. She seemed super down to earth and treated Mariah like a sister.

[@megpie404]

01:15am, and I'm thankful for this video being uploaded rn. Having a bad health night, so I'm eating ✨️fancy✨️ cup noodles, working on crochet tapestry patterns/grids, and watching this as a distraction from Spain. The S is silent 🥰 So basically, thx for the upload!! ❤

[@suepstock]

Sending comforting vibes so that you're able to get some relaxing and deep sleep. I bet your creations are beautiful!

[@caseyw.6550]

Really hope you feel better! I'm having a hard night, too. I totally get how these uploads can help get you thru. ❤

[@MissRae_18]

Sending you good vibes. I also crochet while listening to Jen - make sure you stretch your wrists and keep good posture 😊❤

[@elleofhearts8471]

Get well soon! 🫂

[@chillarypuff]

Sending you love!!! ❤❤

[@tangerinefizz11]

I can't imagine having parents like Kim and Barry. They're manipulative control freaks, and it looks like it would be impossible to have the kind of parent-child relationship where they can have authentic exchanges. They set unattainable standards of behavior and always set the bar higher with the kids. What the kids do is never good enough.

[@60oh]

Absolutely. It’s heartbreaking to see how deeply enmeshed their adults kids are with them. They might never unlearn all this traumatizing, dysfunctional crap.

[@glass-rodeo]

I can't imagine having any other kind of parents. It's really wild for me now dating someone who actively wants to spend time with her parents

[@spOOkytimes]

My mother is like this and none of us talk to her anymore. People like Kim do not truly care about their kids. Her kids are just property to serve her own needs. When someone only ever put themselves first, they will be the only one they need to worry about soon because everyone else will figure out where they stand and leave.

[@Sam-nz2ko]

@@spOOkytimesexactly! Also my condolences on having to be around a mother like that for so long. I don’t know you but I’m proud of you and your siblings for valuing yourselves and your boundaries. It’s really inspiring to me ❤

[@emilydrake2294]

when I was younger, I dated the oldest boy of 5 kids of a fundamental family. Olivia's story of always being the villain to them and "mindwashing" everyone was exactly my experience. I feel so deeply for her. Luckily I was able to call off the engagement. I was only 17

[@hkandm4s23]

You can't chat with anyone online for more than 5 minutes without getting judgment for interrupting. From a therapist, if you two discuss this honestly and truly aren't bothered by the way you communicate, it is not a problem. You don't have to fix what isn't broken ❤

[@JuriAmari]

I love it when you and James collab! My friends and I often accidentally interrupt each other when we get excited about a subject so that’s really common. Don’t let the haters get you down! I like it when it’s a conversational style because it draws me in to look deeper

[@melithegamer]

You know, not everything is about hating all the time. People have opinions

[@melissashiels7838]

Yeah, it's not hate, I love Jen and James, been watching since 2019. If you're neurodivergent, you probably understand the concept of sensory overload. Trying to follow a conversation where people are shouting and talking over each other (one responding to comments online while the other person is saying something salient to the point of the video) is sensory overload for some. I try to watch every video to the end to boost views for content creators, but I had to stop watching the Jana Duggar video early on as it just felt chaotic and raised my anxiety levels instead of being a good watch (for me). That's not hate, it's letting content creators know if people have a real problem with the style in which the content is presented that may impact their monetization.

[@melithegamer]

@@melissashiels7838 Yeah I second this! I just find raised voices triggering and overwhelming and I'm excited that they're going to work on the setup to make it easier for each of them to be heard. :)) I'm so happy they can take our feelings into consideration as people that support them and want to hear them, and probably don't consider us haters either

[@melissashiels7838]

@@melithegamer me too, I really enjoyed this video and was glad I got to watch it to the end.

[@DrDroog29]

@@melithegamer it may not be about hating, but the comments and subsequent Reddit threads about this kind of stuff is alllll hate and people are absolutely being intellectually dishonest by not recognizing that. People rarely just see something and dislike it anymore, they have to viscerally argue and nitpick until it changes. This isn’t a product for you to buy, it’s their personal channel. Opinions really only need to be expressed by viewership stats. If those videos had less views, she might change things. But comments don’t and shouldn’t matter, and RARELY are they delivered in a constructive way. If I don’t like a video, it’s pretty simple…I just don’t watch. I don’t think I’ve ever felt compelled to give my opinion without it being asked on the content of the video. I’d consider people that do write shitty comments to be haters. Jen didn’t seem too happy about it so I’m imagining none of them were kind.

[@meropemessias]

Please, don't stop doing videos with James! I love you both individually, but the dynamic of you both its amazing and special!

[@eh7322]

I'm autistic and my husband has ADHD, so those videos of you and James together are actually some of my favorites to watch. It's like listening to ourselves chat. I hope you don't feel too much pressure either way, but we're here because we love you both. If someone takes issue with those videos they can skip them, because there's plenty of us still here to enjoy it. ❤

[@thevoid8948]

I've been WAITING for a Plathville update! Also, I love James's enthusiasm, and I wouldn't put too much stock in people's complaints about interrupting. People make that complaint on any video with a guest IMO.

[@loniloo9521]

Your old plathville videos are incredibly well coordinated and you both listen intently while the other is speaking. Idk what people were talking about but I loved watching them.

[@carolinemincks]

FWIW I really enjoy seeing you two together. The loving chaos is really fun to witness!

[@miasmacaron]

It’s so heartbreaking to learn Ethan ended up like this. It really felt like he was so close to breaking away and being a good husband. What a milkshake duck disappointment.

[@lindsayschmidt2177]

“People can have good memories with bad people.” As an abuse survivor, I really needed to hear that. ❤️

[@Knls1978]

46 yr old Canadian nowhere near the fire of this realm, fundies, and yet your intelligent, thought provoking analysis and advice on communication and change, doing better, has led me to self reflect and challenge myself. wtf. Didn’t expect that when I started the video with morbid curiosity. Thank you 🙏

[@SchnauzerGal2500]

Jen you are looking gorgeous! And I LOVE that blue eye shadow! I'm not a makeup person for myself personally, but I do enjoy other people's makeup, and that color of eye shadow is stunning on you!

[@OhsoWoobie]

Thank you for speaking at the end to those of us who grew up with this kind of totalitarian father dynamic. I felt heard at the part where Olivia said she was expected to be asleep and make everyone around her make all her decisions for her. I'm 27 just now working on who i really am. i still get in the bad habit of asking my fiancé his opinion but he does a good job redirecting it back to me on making a decision (even something small like what i should wear for the day). thank you i felt heard.

[@Sisterofthemoon76]

If it makes you feel any better, I’m autistic, so my other neurodivergent friends and I constantly interrupt each other when we’re together. So I literally never noticed that at all.

[@biged8329]

Same, this is news to me fr

[@garputhefork]

same

[@quackandcat]

Same

[@valentine.58]

NOOO SAMEEE 😭😭😭😭 i had to learn to stop when talking with my partner (honestly i probably still do it a ton 💀) because it bugs the hell out of them but i honestly didnt realize until i met him that i do it at all lmao

[@dudareginato7513]

Me too

[@carolynsmith8829]

I’ve never noticed you interrupting or been bothered by how you interact at all, I’ve always thought you’re fun! If you enjoy doing these together PLEASE don’t let anyone stop you. You can’t make everyone happy anyway so do what you like best. ❤

[@zellipa]

hear! hear!

[@theforrestguy]

i can only speak for myself but i love the jen/james joint videos!

[@macgirl1234]

Same!! I love the real dynamic

[@keepingitkianatural]

Good for Olivia for not doubling, tripling, and quadrupling down on the mistake that was marrying Ethan and his broken toxic family. We're all imperfect beings but...... the Plaths are a disaster. Olivia saved herself.

[@purplemonkeyinvasion]

Great video but also love the energy between you and James when you do videos together. Literally never took it as a negative.

[@melissahammer6267]

I love all your videos including you solo, you and James, and just James. As a previously fundie Christian who deconstructed your videos help me so much. Thank you for doing what you do.

[@rtrgirl417]

As a neurodivergent who interrupts when excited... I love listening to you two!

[@jof7910]

loved this paragraph: “Often times when you start using boundaries, especially in a relationship where you haven’t done it before, you might feel like the bad guy. While those who break your boundaries may try to convince you that a sudden interest in enforcing your own comfort is unfair to them, or rude, or cruel or whatever will get you back to the docile acceptance they preyed on before. Stay the course and don’t be fooled, people who enrich your life should be able to handle your boundaries with love, acceptance, and grace.” Such a great way to explain this to so many people.

[@SnuffalupagusRising]

As an ND who is really self conscious about interrupting and actively tries to work on it (but of course lapses around people I'm more relaxed with, especially if they're also ND), just wanna say I love your livestreams and you and James interacting on episodes. I can understand where some folks might not enjoy watching hosts that they don't relate to conversationally, but there are a whole bunch of us weirdos who love the way you two interact because it feels normal and comfortable to us.

[@transientdaydreams]

From that powerful statement about "good luck trying to put me to sleep again" to what she said about parents choosing their beliefs over their children and refusing to perpetuate that cycle--Olivia is so well-spoken and so correct. As someone who's deconstructed from a toxic belief system ingrained in me from birth, and which my family still believes in, it's one of the most challenging things ever. Major kudos to Olivia for standing up for herself and being determined to end the cycle, even if it loses her loved ones. And if you're reading this and you're in the process of deconstructing: it does get better. It's hard and messy sometimes, and I can't pretend it's never painful, but I'm so much happier than I was before. I've come so much farther than I ever believed I could, and I'm still making progress. I believe you can, too. (Also, to Jen and James: I enjoy seeing you make videos together! I come from a household that talked over each other all the time--and at least w/ most of us, it wasn't in a disrespectful way, just a neurodivergent way. A lot of my friends do the same. Can it be a little chaotic at times? Maybe. But it's delightful. I think you should do what you want. If you'd rather make videos together, you should do that.)

[@lisalet2464]

I love the videos with you and James together! Your energy together is (part of) what gives your channel its charm. I hope you decide not to listen to the nitpickers and just do whatever format is most fun for YOU.

[@caitlynwinkler4189]

I’m such a fan of your Plathville recaps that I would fully watch a full recap done by you and then another one done by James 😂

[@GraoulDuke]

I am so glad that Olivia was able to deconstruct this nonsense and regain herself. When I got married I ended up in a similar situation to her. My ex husbands family had a weird dynamic with this patriarchal slant that basically dictated my life as a wife and mother. My MIL had quite recently become widowed so everything centred around keeping her happy no matter what, the only other person who had a voice was her favourite son who had been installed as "head of the family". I came from a fairly alternative background to being expected to just smile and bear children and cook and clean and do as I was told. Having to take orders from my BIL who decided that boy children couldn't use pink crayons for fear it would make them gay! It was ridiculous! I was a fish out of water and became demonised as a trouble maker very quickly. My husband was a spineless people pleaser who happily went along with this bullshit. Social occasions became impossible as I just couldn't pretend to be that kind of trad woman, laughing with the other women (because all the men would be at the rugby and we were supposed to cook and entertain each other until they returned to be fed) about how funny it was that they (the men) wouldn't change their underpants for a week and exchange techniques for getting skid mark stains out of the bedclothes! I'm so glad I'm divorced!

[@TVandManga]

I'm sorry people have been making you feel insecure, I always enjoy your banter and back and forth insights with James, you're both amazing. Great video!

[@Bitsa75]

Thank YOU! People always complain about these shows and call them trash, but I don’t see it that way. I take issue with TLC and how they exploit people, but I am a sociologist and I approach reality shows through the lens of wanting to learn - being able to witness the incredible transformation of Olivia is such a GIFT and something we don’t often see. For me, this is what the human experience is about and I feel privileged to see it. From the beginning, I was stunned that the Plaths allowed cameras in- this was before Olivia had really pushed back- because it seemed like they were vulnerable in a way that I’m not convinced they realized they were being. I also love you and James and have no issues watching. Be loud and interrupt all you want. ❤

[@oldhaglady62]

I’m guilty of complaining about shows like this…..not because of the people, because of the way the people are taken advantage of and exploited. It’s heartbreaking to see people harmed like this. My understanding is that a lot of the shows are scripted, and shown in such a way that tends to fit a narrative-one that causes drama, usually negative. If the fallout is pointing out the dangers of high control groups/religion, etc, perhaps that’s a good thing, but my worry is….at what cost to the people on these shows?

[@Bitsa75]

@@oldhaglady62 I can absolutely understand being disgusted by the way networks like TLC exploit these people/families. I’ve just been bothered lately by the amount of people who think anyone on reality tv is “trash” and deserving of any trolling they get. I do think they accept that they’ll receive criticism, but the bar goes lower and lower with each show. I don’t know if it’s an underlying jealousy that many viewers are tired of people becoming “famous” for being on tv- and you’re right, we are finding that many more of these shows are scripted, or worse, outright lies just to make a show. I agree with you that all of that is gross. At the core, though, I’ll tune in to watch any show that lets us in to another person’s life/culture/perspective because I can learn from it. I wish that producers and networks would realize that we don’t WANT all the phony and staged scenarios- we want to see the truth. We like vulnerability. I appreciate your viewpoint and I tend to agree.

[@annatroxel3327]

What is this family going to do when the "bad guy" leaves and all thier problems and dysfunction remain????

[@Meristem968]

I love the commentary from you and James on the old Plathville videos!! It is so exciting to watch and really makes my day! I don’t think I would describe it as shouting or interrupting at all!