FUNNY GOLF SAYINGS - DO YOU KNOW ANY OF THEM ?

IN THIS VIDEO WE HAVE ABIT OF FUN WITH THE BEST TEN GOLFING SAYINGS I KNOW . ? HAVE I MIST ANY OUT
►MAKE SURE YOU BECOME A GOLF MATE FOR FREE
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ABOUT ME:
I’m Liam Harrison, Bolton born and bred. I’m a lover of Golf, life and laughter.
Started Golf 12 years ago after packing in football when i was 28 due to a back injury.
I started the KZbin channel as a laugh and a Wim, to make me practice but that went out the window as i started vlogging, loving being on camera but more so the interaction with my #golfmates.
In 14 months i have seen the channel evolve and become the only real golf community on KZbin which i am extremly proud of.
I would like to thank all the #golfmates that have been with us and supported us and the channel from the start. Also not forgetting our new #golfmates that may have only just come across the channel.

[@davesherbert6709]

When a putt runs around the rim and doesn't go in it's called a Mick Jagger, all lip and no satisfaction.

[@joestone7511]

In the States that’s called a Monica Lewinsky ; around the lip but no hole 😁 !

[@nezzam100]

We call it a Brazilian. Shaves both sides of the hole.

[@johnslocombe2777]

I thought that was a Jelly Hall comment on her wedding night!

[@andrewl7240]

After your partner hits a wide one into the trees - "my dog wouldn't find that if it had bacon wrapped around it!!"

[@brentdavies3195]

"or I don't go that far know holiday"

[@keithharris6442]

I liked OMP 's when he said " I've been a member here 50 years, never knew this was part of the course" When the Dick hit it in the trees 😂

[@lewissurratt2237]

One of my favorite sayings is “Other than distance and direction that’s a heck of a shot.”

[@nezzam100]

A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs

[@markgriffiths5616]

Missed a short one when my dad was caddying for me, he remarked, ‘Your eyes must be painted on’ cheeky bugger!

[@alancarlyon3928]

You are a ray of light Liam enjoying life and having fun we can see, most golfers who play golf do not have many disabilities, we are alive and most of us can see, play with your mates or family, alive each day, so set yourself free, enjoy the air, freedom even when your in the trees! You have a great following as you can see, this will have been noticed and am sure it won't be long till we see you on TV, You will remember your golf mate and they will work with you for free Golf mate is your baby and you give to others for free, you speak your mind which can be so funny! All the best golf mates as we are all family!

[@davidglennon7905]

Ryanair Shot....started off fine but landed miles from where I expected.

[@Tall-Cool-Drink]

If it's a slice, it's called a "Lorena Bobbitt". Cringe.....

[@_LemonDropKid_]

Love that one!

[@thewatchman6074]

Favourite anecdote. American golf tripper says to caddy at St Andrews. "Do you think I can get there with a 5 Iron?.. .... Aye..Eventually sir."

[@robadoo2587]

Another great video Liam. Like the Elton John one...will be using that. Glenn Miller shot. Try to go over water but don't make it. Rodney King...Over clubbed Condom shot...Didn't feel right but safe

[@francoisdesmoulins-lebeaul4273]

Here are some of my favourites: - The Che Guevara, the putt which finishes "just one revolution away" - The Saddam Hussein, when you go from bunker to bunker and then up and down... - The Adolf Hitler : two shots, still in the bunker...

[@kimhannemann]

What is it called when you fluff a shot and it's still your turn to play? A dead sheep: "still ewe."

[@likeshareandsubscribe2866]

Here in the states we say "usa" you're still away

[@ianbishop6420]

Elton John 😂😂😂 and the Benny Hill music should've had OMP and the Dick running round chasing you 😂😂😂

[@gwn860]

Saying I've used for many of years for a putt that is terribly off line and drastically left short or has gone long is, "Other than the line and speed it was a good putt.", lol. Cheers Liam.

[@marksullivan5563]

What about the Sally Gunnell ? Ugly but a good runner. Or is that too near the knuckle ?

[@banditbaker1675]

That's Ok as long as you aren't playing Golf with her husband! Which can get a bit tricky LOL

[@stevenmckinney733]

Been updated to a christine ughuro ugly but will run like fuck

[@nathanthomas8222]

Heard a story about that one........ was a quiet back nine after they found out they were playing with her husband🙈

[@banditbaker1675]

@@nathanthomas8222 Yes, I heard the same story🤦‍♂️

[@colinglen4505]

I said it once when playing with one of her Olympic team mates. he wasn't happy and he was built like a brick s**t house too. :(

[@johnslocombe2777]

After hitting a great shot - A "Quasimodo" - Well you don't want that back!

[@williamparke8868]

That's why your channel is special Liam pal. It's about having fun because your along time dead. ❤️

[@joeperez3520]

You got an "Elton John" mixed up with a "Rock Hudson." An Elton John is "a big bender that lips the rim!!!" 😨 "Kate Winslett" - A little bit fat but otherwise OK. "Captain Kirk" - Where no man has gone before.

[@billbobeaney5126]

Mad as a box of🐸🐸's,great laugh Liam and no swearing ! 🙊🙈🙉👏👏👏👍

[@jrdozier8534]

While putting, but not enough “Umph”.... that was a Nancy shot! 😂😂

[@billbyrnes9505]

Thanks Randy, " I have never seen anybody take so long to hit such a bad shot". Or, playing a new course with people you don't know and hitting a bad drive on the first hole, " That's it Billy, don't show them everything on the first hole".😁

[@quintin_leannesmith1583]

LOVED this, Liam. Had a good ol' laugh!!!!! Love being a #GolfMate awesome community! Think you need to visit South Africa for a round of golf with me, you might be using A LOT of these sayings... more especially, "that's a mother-in-law" hahahahaha

[@quintin_leannesmith1583]

@@GolfMates well, when you do let's play a round together... And have a pint afterward. 😂🍻

[@veteranpatriot4474]

When Someone tops a Ball in the water from Par 3 it makes that THUNK . " A Turd Hitting the Toilet Bowl "

[@jesusdiaz5969]

I love that “looks straight but, is not”....I get a lots of “that was a good drive” every Sunday morning....great video, and your right golf is about enjoying life just a little bit more....

[@NickyLong89]

After a crap shot by your mate.... got some shit on your club mate, when they look at the club head... no the other end 😂

[@paulmilsom1346]

When someone, usually me, tops one down the fairway, I shout after it...."RUN FOREST, RUN"

[@martinsomers248]

Crying here, , 🤣

[@DunnGolfing]

We have an icecream van round our way plays Benny Hill tune I always laugh Liam chasing van again 😎

[@chasewilliams7000]

When your mate chunks it "great layup. Comes in nicely from there.".

[@TheSteamrock]

I introduced the "mother in law" the other day to great effect ,my mate was rendered incapable for a good while😁,if one of us is having trouble in a bunker we say " he's after Eva Braun's knickers".

[@grahamstyles9457]

The ' Son in law' , not quite what we expected but it'll have to do

[@cosmosny7474]

Do you ever do a golfmates outing? I will one day play golf over the pond .. can’t wait to play over there!!!!

[@raymondtymkin2079]

Looked back on this. It reminded my of why I joined Golf Mates. To enjoy life.

[@MrRdholmes]

Old one but a good one (haven't sent it yet in the comments and apologies if it's there). When your partner hits a fat one "there a big lump of shit on the end of your club there mate", and as he looks at the face of the club you add "the other end mate".

[@julianpardoe9832]

Shame there were none of them when you and Shaun beat us in the family foresomes 😉

[@hllywd5549]

Liam, I want to thank you for the video onOMP's advice about playing your irons. I was playing today and decided to try it with my irons. To my amazment, it really helped my shots. I love your videos and your mates, keep up the good work and please give a shout out to OMP with my thanks.

[@golfmonthlysales9641]

Great vid What about the Adolf Hitler ..... 2 shots in the bunker! Keep up the good work.

[@grahamriddall9946]

My favourite combines cockney rhyming slang with a spoonerism (where you swap the first letters of the two words) - when your ball is on the fringe of the green....it's on the 'Mary' - Mary Hinge - fringe!

[@craigbrown9574]

When did Elton John ever look straight? 😂😂

[@Seektruth-59]

Original joke used Rock Hudson

[@chrischart]

"Mother-in-law shot" gets a laugh every round. Definitely not claimed it as my own... honest ha. "wormburner" gets a giggle for the old scuttler shots n all.

[@kevinhumphreys5939]

Off to Portugal on Monday . Golf holiday for 5 days......a saying is when your on the green..mark that again and I will give you it.x

[@hllywd5549]

I like the Bennie Hill theme music...LOL!

[@neilwoolfrey8984]

The putt that comes up short - dougy bader - didn’t have the legs 🤣

[@spartagirlful]

TPG, Don't know if I'm getting used to your cadence or what but I understand you now (SCARY). I love your funny sayings, I've heard you say most of them except the Elton John one and I rolled off the sofa. Keep it up. P.S. I've got my grandson hooked as well!

[@alanbain4173]

When your playing partner hits a huge slice...….we shout C.T.F. - CUT TO F*@K!!!Another one...when your playing partner hits a putt but doesn't lose his turn....DEAD SHEEP...STILL YEW!!!Thin running shot that bounces up the fairway...SALLY GUNNELL!!!!love the German, I'll have to remember that one!!!Another great video and laugh during the morning coffee break!!

[@paulfoster5121]

Brilliant stuff Liam, what about "A Fred Astaire " straight down the middle 👍👍🤣🤣🤣🍺🍺🍺⛳

[@darrell3118]

YOu forgot one called : Lance Armestrong : Liam played fine for one hole , then he went all Lance Armstrong , Lost a ball and started cheating ........ 😁😜🤪

[@owenrobertson907]

Oooh !!or...you've done a Henrik! !! Meaning "Just pure class" guess what Scottish team I support! ! Lol.

[@stevenmckinney733]

Hahahahs quality m8 mon the hoops

[@phillipbridge1]

What about the old “sneaky squirrel” - your up against the tree so you shimmy it out with your foot 😂

[@bernardprice8316]

i must have heard "Does you husband play" about 6 times this mornig

[@geezee769]

I recommend this video to any other students trying to learn Boltonese. Great video Liam!

[@harrymelad942]

Your Elton John is also known as a Rock Hudson. What about: Douglas Bader - a putt left short because it "hasn't got the legs" Does your husband play? - again a putt that doesn't get to the hole Don't trip over your handbag - similar to above Try taking the head cover off it - a short drive Dennis Wise - a nasty five footer Mick Jagger - a put that "lips out" Frito lay - A fat chip (that's the American version of our crisp) Some others too I won't mention publicly.

[@johnslocombe2777]

After your ball has hit the path and bounced onto the green - A Greek! - Well it hit the 'Parthenon'!

[@johnslocombe2777]

Orrrrrrrrrrrr a Mesopotamian - Just missed the path but almost a Greek? (Am I trying too hard? lol)

[@seanscanlon9067]

*A 9 can be an Elton too, as in 9 bobber or 9 bob note. A Captain as in "he's hit a Captain" when you hook it. A Colonel as in "he scored a Colonel" as in bogey, or you can just do the Colonel Bogey tune to it once they sink the putt....Ask OMP if you don't know how it goes. A Kamikaze "he's hit a Kamikaze" when you top it. Or when someone puts it in the bunker you ask did they bring any bread with them because they're "gonna need a sand wedge." *Or they're in the "Courtney Love" as in rough...Lady Gaga, Linday Logan and Kelly Osbourne work too and all can be shortened to a Courtney, a Gaga, a Lindsay or a Kelly. The ones I like saying the most though are "you shoulda gone for it" whenever you know someone has gone for the green or a putt and they leave it short by miles and using "that's a airway shot" in a sentence after a bad hit, as in "that's a fair way from where it should be." *I'm not particularly proud of those though, as it's a bit judgemental and mean-spirited lol

[@andrewcovell9037]

A Lady Di and/or a Princess Grace. Shouldn’t have taken a driver. Should have taken a driver. Eeeek. Sorry.

[@Mycroftsbrother]

When you hit one into a tree and a second or two later it drops down on the fairway, I've heard guys say "Ill have to give that squirrel a peanut" or "Good squirrel!" I also heard a guy say to his partner when he swung so hard he whiffed it, "They go farther if you hit them.... blowing them down the fairway doesn't work." An old guy who watched his partner, who was famous for improving his lie, go into tall rough told him "Take a club with you, you might see a snake or need more than your 'foot wedge'."

[@judedunlop5295]

Made me laugh out loud! And so have some of the comments! Thank you : D

[@stevekachur1519]

Played with a black golfmate one time down in Arizona USA. He missed a putt quite wide and said, " boy did l Ray Charles that one! Cheers

[@keithvolsic3738]

My favorite is still mulligan. .. but that Elton John put made me laugh

[@gregpfaff8060]

Heard that as, that's a Rock Hudson...looks straight but it's not.

[@lewismarriott5142]

Personal favourite is when a putt lips out - "had it in her mouth but the kids walked in"

[@alanhiggs6950]

Great sayings Liam, can't wait to get back on the course to try them out. Chicken & Rice!!

[@SandifromMichigan]

Good fun.if you hit a tree and bounces out to the fairway:"How much did you pay the squirrels" one of the best was OMP after Liam hit into the woods " I did not know this was part of the course" l

[@alanbrown8242]

When you come up a bit short of the green that’s a Douglas Nader looked great in the air but no legs

[@pgraham5674]

Hey, Liam. I hope you're doing well. No, really. I hope you're doing WELL. Because if you ever put out another video that I laugh out loud at work while watching and have to explain what an Elton John putt is, I may end up having to move in with you, since I won't have a job any more. Absolutely hilarious. 👍

[@peterlund6495]

Cracking video Liam funny as mate. We use them all.

[@cosmosny7474]

My favorite is “write” love it lmao evertime before you tee off

[@craigedga4r]

Liam - quality absolute quality - was ready to "Geoff Hirst" with laughter at the end!!!!💪💪💪👍👍👍🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 All you needed was to wear a cap backwards with an upturned peak and a few buxom blonde babes in suspenders!!! Job done!!! Dont tell Kirsty - hormones - could kill fo an O J Simpson🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@michaelrooke5077]

Another great video!!! Would love to see a day in the life of you guys!!! And why haven’t we seen josh in ages!!!

[@marktwibell9303]

Absolutely funny!! Thanks for sharing. Love being a golfmate. Mark

[@aidanjuddgolf1826]

Great video Liam, I'll use those terms when I'm in the course

[@cosmosny7474]

Tough day at work great laugh at lunch thanks

[@leemccartney4266]

I've said it before and I'll say it again your as mad as a box of frogs. No chance in any Steve seagals when I'm around 😂😂 #GOLFMATES

[@tedstan9734]

"A posh spice". A bit thin but not bad. Or when you chunk one....."That was fat and nasty, but thats enough about of the wife". When you stripe one down the middle........"I dont go that far on holiday". And when you keep getting Kate and Gerry McCanns...."Really poor lies but keep getting away with it". When your mate is putting before you on a similar line but he hits a Daily Sport...."A shite read". And this always gets a titter....."Ive gone through more balls today than Elton John's chin!!"

[@walbland]

Not sure if this one has been added yet. When your partner is having a shocker and not finished a few holes: "your card has more rings than a Sterns catalog!" Sterns is a jewelry store in BTW.

[@GolfingMalky]

Flipping brilliant mate - loved that. The Steve Seagal one was a new one for me. Funniest bit was you saying "...and take the money off OMP" Cheers from #500

[@superduperawesome6858]

Duff it off the tee : "your standing too close to the ball mate" ........."after you hit it"!

[@oldchannel933]

Love it! My faves there have to be OJ Simpson or the Mother In-Law. How about when you cant get it in the air....worm burner :D

[@normansmyth2079]

So, you're about 120 yards out, top it or thin it, terrible shot, but it somehow runs up to the green, we call it a FABIO. Fu*kin Awful But It's On.

[@raymondrichardson6061]

Arthur Askey. Just didn’t have the legs. Hitting a Gerry Adams.....a provisional. Wetter than an Otters pocket........... Or lastly, why not a Liam?????? Not very good, but made you smile.

[@donnyone-eye8726]

I like the new black shirt, Liam. Very nice. I'll have to get one in a few weeks. Very funny stuff Mate, thanks!

[@keithharris6442]

Did the mother in law one, got a laugh 😂 Like the Elton one too, lol

[@thewatchman6074]

"Dam!...that's like the wife" ".....Short and right"

[@peterwatt5521]

Great video Liam...surely no one is offended? What does your husband play off? And also...i think you dropped your lipstick after that putt came up short. You are right Liam...we take this game too serious too much...lets have a laugh

[@danfriend6590]

Hay Liam congratulations on the news mate hopefully smash it Saturday lol

[@Tall-Cool-Drink]

An "Elton John.." lol ,🤣😂🤣😂

[@lgnir]

HA! HA! I just used "nice drive" last weekend when one of our group hit a 280 yard drive down the middle on a par 4, and ended up with a 7.

[@shawtop]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Hilarious, great video liam

[@timwhitehead8465]

I almost choked on coffee after the Elton John 🤣 thanks for the laughs!

[@timwhitehead8465]

I need to come have a round across the pond. Your videos always make my day. I always look forward to your notifications.

[@davie_b]

In our group it's the call of "Nice pace and line" as your mates putt ends up nowhere near the hole.

[@jessereset10]

"The People's Nutter" I have never seen a more accurate description for any one person.

[@jessereset10]

@@GolfMates and you should certainly wear that with a badge of honor

[@88Shinto]

Best vid on golf so far. Moar!

[@martinpigott3936]

When I played last week I said 5 times “that’s a bit short like your willy “ not sure where I’ve got this saying from

[@cozzerb3403]

Following on from you calling your nine iron your “german”, I’ve got a mate who’s a Strictly Come Dancing fan who calls his seven iron his “Len Goodman”!

[@William45ish]

Leaving a putt short is a Douglas Barder! (Just didn’t have the legs!) Sorry! Lmao 😂

[@gregmcaree]

Is it not a pitch or a chip, it looked good in the air but didn’t have the legs?

[@NickyLong89]

We call it a Neil. From the old joke, what do you call a man with no legs...

[@William45ish]

Greg McAree I think that you could be right. I think that the sayings vary depending on where you’re from bud.

[@grahamwale9268]

The Michael Jackson..a bad one that ends up in places it shouldn’t be in!! 😁

[@darrenmiller1981]

Hitler - one shot in the bunker Saddam Hussein - 2 shots or more in the bunker Chicken Stick - taking an iron off the tee on a par 4 (especially off the first)

[@hugh-c7t]

Great video as always! Love those kind especially the one you brought out about how to keep an eye out for cheaters 😂. Need your advice Liam. I’ve been hard at work trying to restore my dads old clubs from the 70s. They had rust everywhere and where just straight mining. I’m at the stage now where I’m about to regrip the buggers and all I have left to do is choose a colour to fill in the gaps on the clubs(paint fill). I’m torn between white or blue. Can you help? Or any other golf mate out there? What colour pops on silver clubs 🥵🤯

[@parttroll1]

A Hitler - 2 shots in a bunker Shaving the hole like a gynaecologist assistant- If your putts are close but run by A Sally Gunnel - an ugly shot but it’s running A Robin Cook - It died on the hill Douglas Bader - looked good in the air but didn’t have the legs A Glen Miller - kept low but didn’t make it over the water An Arthur Scargill - A great strike but a poor result A Maradona - another nasty 5 footer A Michael Jackson - started off great but faded badly

[@simonhague2674]

When someones hits it OB... it's a LOFT issue... Lack Of F*%king Tallent

[@johnslocombe2777]

Or an OJ - Phew, got away with that!

[@davidbrown5152]

I liked the Salman Rushdie quote....quite clever!

[@davidbrown5152]

I find myself saying, “Chicken and rice” a lot!

[@LightningDogg]

At a tournament a group of us were hitting balls at the range...which was a man made lake. One kid a few yards away lost his grip and his 7 iron went flying about 35 yds out to the water. Just before it splashed my buddy yells BITE! The timing was perfect lol.

[@ianashton1226]

The opposite of a Stephen Segal... “spread around like a madman’s shit”!! 😂😂

[@Digital_Photog1995]

Liam, STOP IT!! LMAO I may pee my pants!!! ;) ;) Great fun with those sayings, but I thought if you used your 9 iron it was he hitting (German) NIEN! One of those dual meanings I guess.