Gabor Maté & Jay Shetty REVEAL The 4 Steps To FIX YOUR LIFE! | Rangan Chatterjee

[@christiw7155]

I have recently discovered Dr. Gabor Mate on my journey to healing and understanding my family dynamics. This is by far the best interview of him. The pieces of the puzzle keep coming together and the picture is finally getting clear. I wish I could share this with everyone that I know and that they would really take the time to listen and understand.

[@breciasettle2494]

Christi, I couldn’t have said it better myself! Just to confirm to you that you are helping so much already by watching and learning! Gaining knowledge and adding value to yourself while healing in the process, will help everyone watching to Leah by example. Everyone you know and love will see how you blossom! Plant the seeds by spending awareness ❤️

[@torreygreen6794]

I hope Gabor lives to be 100. So many of us need and crave his wisdom and intelligence! I wish thoughtful, informed, caring people like these men were running countries instead of the endless supply of megalomaniac sociopaths we have especially in America.

[@alexajohnson944]

I first found you through conversations with Tom Bilyeu and it’s been so nice to have empowering podcasts to listen to. To survive the dark thoughts through highschool, I always had to have video game let’s play on in the background to distract me, but it was no help to me in the long run. Now I can have these sorts of podcasts on while I do my house work and other things but then have actionable things to do after

[@GM-yb5yg]

What do you mean by in the background? Did you stay afk with the music and sounds of the game or.do you mean you always had to play during and between activities?

[@alexajohnson944]

@@GM-yb5yg I couldn’t sleep or do things that were cognitively easy without things in the background , so just listening to a game play helped. I am pretty safe in my head when I do challenging things such as working out or school work or learning a new skill. But my mind runs amuck when I’m just doing chores, relaxing, and blah blah blah. Thanks to Dr. Chatterjee I’ve looked in meditation and becoming at peace with my thoughts and changing them, but it’s still a rough process

[@gmolets]

Thank you so much Dr Chatterjee. Wish I could pay you visit or meet you some day. I’m an avid follower of your podcasts here all the way from South Africa. You are helping me through this dark phase of my life. The bite size versions you release every Friday are my go to during my 15min breaks at work when I need to pull myself together 🥺🙏🏽

[@sudabehmoein1788]

I love your comments on the obscenity of maternity leave and child care in USA! As a US trained Ob/Gyn I agree that we have a BARBARIC maternity leave and childcare here in USA . I have seen the impact at ALL LEVRLS AND ALL AGES OF MY PATIENTS. It is frustrating :(

[@kathleengainor8532]

We're they accurate, though. Women get 3 months then the father can also take 3 months. Right? People who are poir on welfare can get welfare and housing through AFDC for a year or more . Right?

[@ek4172]

Thank you for this interview, such an important subject. These two quotes come to my mind related to pain and addiction: "To be alone is to be afraid-to be afraid of pain, to be afraid of loss, to be afraid of rejection, to be afraid of criticism, to be afraid you will not have what you need or what you want. And of course this becomes the source of aberrant behavior, dishonesty, manipulation, avoidance, distractions, indulgences, obsessions, addictions, everything." *Ending Separation* by *Marshall Vian Summers* “You work diligently to improve the quality of life here, but it is more mysterious than simply making everything look better, making all people look better and making all pain seem to go away. People did not come here to be painless. That is like going to the ocean and refusing to get wet. If you wish to get involved, you must accept some degree of discomfort. There are painful circumstances here. You will have little aches and pains even if you live an immaculate life.” *Relationships and Higher Purpose* Completing Relationships, by *Marshall Vian Summers*

[@mirelgoi7855]

Thank you! This makes so much sense

[@julieann1975]

Thank you

[@donnavorbach215]

Yeah, great insight! On the other hand to be at peace when you are alone and not so needy is something to aim for, imo. You are enough!🥰

[@johnchapman5125]

Thank you, E K.

[@friendofmoss]

Thank you for these quotes that point to the source of the problem clearly and simply.

[@contentedlife-w3u]

This talk is so deeply, thank you a lot

[@twinkletoes7095]

Rangan, you chose to be a generalist because you can understand the wholistic nature of well being. You're own empathy is evident. I'm benefitting from learning from your YT channel

[@stephanamjacobson1705]

2 gifts to humanity 🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️

[@daniellepost7634]

I love you both!!🙌❤

[@EB-fe2pr]

This was so key. "The good things that could have happened didn't happen because of the parent's emotional state." This was my experience. My parents were loving but they were broken.

[@robynhope219]

Loving but broken?

[@kathleengainor8532]

Sabbath keeping comforts, objects, restores. God fills the gap.

[@kathleengainor8532]

God said I am made in the image of God and made a little lower than the angels. We need a vertical perspective, so we know out identity issues will never end until we have a real relationship with God. Word of God, prayer, service to others, Sabbath keeping and achieve BALANCE.

[@Wisdomseeker5]

❤❤❤❤ Gabor Mate fan for 3years

[@dylanlach672]

Does he have a new book out? I love Dr. Gabor Maté

[@hamidkarim8911]

Hi. He will soon lunch a new book.

[@nebel_slayn4290]

@@hamidkarim8911 yum.

[@NicholasMGlasson]

1:51:20 is he's talking about the dualistic vs non-dualistic approach? As Dr David R Hawkins put it "There are people who go around think because they like chocolate, they MUST hate vanilla, having a win-lose approach, rather than looking at it as a succession or progression" .... Okay i'm paraphrasing there but does that make sense to anyone?

[@ssherman55]

There should ALWAYS be therapy and counseling to the addict and the whole family wherever one is at when they are working this 12 step program. You have to be very selective about your treatment center and they are all not for everyone. Keep trying until you find one that works for your family. And pray you all live long enough to get there. It is not the 12 step program that is not working, it is not be worked thoroughly and properly. Thank you and I am not trying to offend anyone. Although I found this statement very offensive. This man is AMAZING❤️

[@sannajohanna5579]

Yeah: I am addicted to knitting. When I start, I cannot stop. I get late from work, at the weekends I forget to eat.

[@meaningfulmakings]

Could it be ADHD you have?

[@VenusLover17]

Dr. Rangan rules!

[@zoilaramirez5498]

Amazing information

[@VenusLover17]

Thanks so much to all!!

[@jui7684]

17:38 A.D.D-tune out, when we say addictive personality, it wasn't you, what we thought was a personality was just a defensive cover and once we find that defence no longer necessary, we become more true to ourselves, when we are true to ourselves we become much more balanced and happy to our lives , so yes it was a personality but you are not your personality (Gabor maté) 34:52 I'm not what I think I am, I am not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am (Jay shetty)

[@bettinazwerdling9158]

Rangan - Dr. Mate's man's name is GAH-bor, not Gaybot ....(spelled Gabor.) I know you can pronounce it righ, less important than his content and your overall love of this man & his work, but something notice and note. . Overall a great discussion. Loved Jay's contribution -- found it valuable and useful. Bravo. thanks, BZ

[@n.d8001]

awesome. Thank you

[@karl-ottoelch3644]

2 hour video with clickbait title and no bookmarks? Helpful.

[@karencahail5059]

Isn't it counterproductive to try to çonnéct with othèrs if all you find is rejection?

[@NerisaFinau]

What are the 4 steps please ?

[@marissamarissa97]

Right, where are these 4 steps?

[@Aliya-gh2ec]

St. Paul, who is he ? Which religion or philosophy is that ? Are you recommending it ?

[@richardsilmai9038]

is feeling ill or being dis-ease? a form of addiction?

[@vic2e652]

I feel it can be in some cases , not that I'm an expert . It's worth thinking about .

[@dis_appointed8626]

thats an interesting way to look at it

[@ssherman55]

I am in recovery at age 53. I have been an addict for 32 years. Not one or two substances, but 4 of more, including meth , fent, crack, Xanax, enough said. I’m sorry someone would feel the way one does about the 12 step program but these are not facts being stated in the comment above. It is an opinion and from an angry mother. I too am a mother. It is a scientific fact that the 12 step program WORKS! It also has been modified. Not so very much but there is no easy or guaranteed recovery program. There is NO QUICK OR EASY FIX. You have to work the whole program thoroughly. It may take 10 attempts. It takes some longer than others to get serious about getting sober. BUT , getting to the root is a major starting point. This most likely has stemmed from childhood pain and or trauma. I’m sure as my parents and any parent I have ever known, they feel like their children had a good childhood. Maybe not the best , maybe the very best. Sorry parents, the child did not see things the way you are choosing to see them. I can’t even continue , I could type here all night then some. That being said, Gabor Mate has gotten to me like nobody EVER has and I have battled this for so many years as I still am today. After 7 years I still have not worked the program fully. It’s tough. You have to dig deep into your soul and chances are you have already blocked out whatever caused your pain while attempting to make it stop. To get to the bottom of this, hurts. Hurts bad. Lots of unnecessary, or at least it seems unnecessary, horrible memories that you have to bring to the forefront. It is devastating. If you have never been an addict then you simply can not get it. And I do not know one treatment plan for any disease that works for everybody. Not one. I’m sorry for anyone’s loss , especially of their child, I too have lived through that loss. Although, chances are you had a part in this situation that you choose not to accept responsibility for. Chances are you do not even think or have not considered what your part in this is or was. I promise if you look , it’s most likely there. Nobody wakes up and makes a decision to be an addict. It is an attempt to relieve some type pain. Some type of void in their hearts and souls. The desire to be lived and accepted. WE ALL ARE HUMAN. I am sorry I have to stop here. BUT GABOR MATE IS MORE THAN WISE. And he breaks this down to the realest place it can be taken to. Addiction is not ever “gone”. It is s lifelong struggle. Everyday it is again starting over. There is never a time limit you can put on it. It may be 28 days, it may be 28 years , but it can be controlled and with extremely hard work, therapy, meetings, but most of all a STRONG , LOVING, POSITIVE, DETERMINED, and SUPPORTIVE FAMILY OR SUPPORT GROUP OF SOME TYPE. The bigger the better. It truly breaks my heart to hear someone say “well this program sux because I lost my child and he was in it” . I only WISH it could be so simple and cut and dry. OPEN HEARTS , OPEN MINDS, AND YES MIND YOUR CHILD OR ADULT CHILDS BUSINESS. That is what parents do. That is what every child wants. It is the human makeup. We were out here to LOVE and need to be accepted. Live really is what makes the world go around. COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING ARE MANDATORY FOR RECOVERY. AND IT US NIG SOMETHING YOJ CAN HALF ASS ON EITHER END. These days the street drugs are not like they once were therefore children today may not be offered the amount of time I was. They are not what they claim to be. Everything has been altered and you have no idea what you are doing. This works today is not a very GOOD PLACE. Life is tough. We all need each other. So let’s consider opening our closed and angry hearts and put in the work to pull this world back together. It took 100’s of years to get it this bad off do it will take equally as long to bring it back. It has to begin somewhere. Bashing these programs or extremely wise men that truly do care is not the proper start. Stop judging and start LEARNING AND LOVING. Peace and GID BLESS TO ALL

[@ashleynicole5484]

11:44

[@vivianvictor6803]

I wanted to have a child so bad and me I'm the type I should have but I knew that I couldn't stay with my child they put me back to work in 4 weeks and I agree that's unnatural so I just didn't reproduce at all into this American society but I did write a book to help you all called Fresh Air thought Releases by Vivian

[@piotr780]

So what are those 4 steps?

[@thealpha1259]

I know right? Where are they?

[@anessapfeifer249]

!!!stupid title.. total click bait for a conversation that needs to be heard !!! This conversation needs to be re-released under a title that would attract people who truly need the help and willing to watch 2 hours.

[@valeriepearson3885]

I am actually a little shocked to see these guys together on a show. Dr Gabor Mate is the real deal, authentic , and probably the best out there. One of my favorite teachers.Jay on the other hand not so much.He plagiarizes the greats as he did on this show. Gabor Mate always mentions the names of the information he shares that is not his. Ok he did mention Jim Carey maybe he is trying to be better. I am sure he is helping the younger people with their spiritually but really needs to be honest and authentic. Younger people have probably not heard Wayne Dyer ect... Please Jay be authentic. It is good Karma to be.

[@joincoffee9383]

Don’t you find his facial expressions and head movement strange, his eyes are blank while his hand gestures too exaggerated and over the top. I also felt that most of what he’s speaking was from his head, not from the heart, therefore felt odd and without any real emotions or real facial expression. He had a good observation of the host’s personality, now I wonder what his personality is. Could it be narcissist personality?

[@ddg170]

those commercials are sickening

[@Christina-ot9ie]

I keep getting abused

[@kellygarvin9006]

Wow. I was all in until the America-bashing. Talk about misunderstanding. Maybe it’s not that we “don’t prioritize” children, but that we prioritize individual agency. I have 4 children, all grown, and I stayed at home until they were all in school. I worked at home as an interpreter for 15 years and was a room mom and chaperone in all their schools. Was it hard? Yes. I remember putting ketchup back on the shelf at the grocery because I didn’t want to spend the $1.37 for it. I sewed their clothes. I used cloth diapers and washed them in bleach & hung them outside to dry. I breastfed them. I married a man with a job. After they were in high school or graduated, THEN I went to nursing school and now I live comfortably. I’m proud to be American. If I paid Scandinavian taxes, I would be more stressed and never would have been able to save money for their college or mine. I love Rangan. But this time, 2 really smart doctors didn’t get it all right.

[@kathleengainor8532]

I love all of this except at 22:00. Look at A.erican lack men who are lessimely to have HYPERTENSION. Look at those who eat really well, black Seventh - Day Adventist, Sabbth-keeping joyful men. So, it is not racism, spiritual direction greatly mattera. They are not HYPER-TENSE.

[@donnavorbach215]

I appreciate not putting blame but what about narcissistic psychopathic behavior? Are they not responsible for the evil they have done? I think there is more to the subject. With a loss of fear of God, one opens up a door to love of evil.

[@AnnaLVajda]

Yes but you don't want to be their victim forever some hurt themselves after they are used to be harmed by others or lose self worth. I guess he just wants to help people save the rest of their life though they feel a part of them died already when they were abused. I'm glad I have never been hooked on any hard drugs but surly not all recreational drinkers can be lumped in as alcoholics and things like over eating and shopping etc. are considered socially acceptable too just over indulgent.

[@AnnaLVajda]

Yes but you don't want to be their victim forever some hurt themselves after they are used to be harmed by others or lose self worth. I guess he just wants to help people save the rest of their life though they feel a part of them died already when they were abused. I'm glad I have never been hooked on any hard drugs but surly not all recreational drinkers can be lumped in as alcoholics and things like over eating and shopping etc. are considered socially acceptable too just over indulgent.

[@melissagroleau2949]

I believe they are responsible, everyone is responsible for their own behaviors no matter what may have caused them, at the end of the day your left with your personal trauma and how it shaped you. This man...Dr. Gabor Mate...he's brilliant.

[@anessapfeifer249]

You want to add more fear? wow.. and add to the layers of trauma.

[@Sashas-mom]

I know this is an older video but I still get so much from it. I love the energy between these two big hearted enthusiastic humble men. I just love these guys. ❤️ and have so much respect for them.

[@donnavorbach215]

I think this is helpful for people who are of good will trying to do their best. Hopefully the insights help us to feel at peace in all the moments of the day including difficult ones.

[@victoriahangula382]

This is the best interview I have heared in my life. Authentic, value alining, compassion and educative. Thumbs-up to both the presenter of this program and quest speaker for embracing the human race in this way. Keep it up generation's to come need to hear this. Thanks you sharing 😊 😘 ☺ 😀

[@donnavorbach215]

Thank you! Understanding frees us all!

[@patriciamichaels4393]

My sister who is a Family Therapist says that every sense you take away from communication reduces the communication. Example... If you talk on a phone you don't see them, and if you text then you don't hear them and the inflections, the tone. You miss the body languages in so many of these ways of communication.. The connection is lost.

[@rodjames5771]

Thank You :) This interview (and i love the switch format!) Came to me at the exact time i really need to here this!

[@GLFlacco1968]

Dr Mate' for Sec. of Education, or at least he should be an educational advisor. Schools must meet student's basic needs (Mazlow), instead of administering incessant testing. Many schools have cut the fun/social events of Early childhood/elementary education in order to prep for "Proficient" test scores for students.

[@EveningTV]

Dr. Mate is doing great work, but I think it creates a false impression to say "if people start asking the right questions, they will find the answers." The answers don't exist in terms of adequate treatment. 95% of addiction treatment programs are using the same failed 12 step model. My son went to treatment 8 times before overdosing just like the woman in the story. He'd been clean 9 months, but received no treatment for trauma and not therapy at all. He was 20 and an adult so I was trying to show him respect and while I was supportive emotionally and financially I didn't feel like I should talk to his counselors about him, therefore I did not know that treatment boiled down to community based 12 step meetings and that was the same in all of the programs he went to except for one where they pumped it up on drugs. I did not learn the statistics or what was really going on until it was too late. I was furious when I realized that these treatment centers knew their program didn't work. I can't believe that it is even legal. I expected that there was something like the body that makes sure hospitals meet established standards. I assumed that there was someone holding these facilities accountable. Can you imagine any other "disease" where an 80 year old technology with a 92% failure rate was considered good enough so much so that the program hasn't even been updated or modified at all since 1939! I thought that was because it worked. I couldn't believe it when I found out it didn't even work. Of course it is the perfect program because when it doesn't work it just blames the addict!

[@jozeftobben980]

Great respons..👌.. IMHO...There is a govern driving need that is looking to be fullfilled in each and every one of us..mostley not known to us..The point is to discover...A great way is by the "Logic of feeling"..Have a great day..

[@cookshackcuisinista]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

[@OrdinaryFemmale]

I am so sorry for your loss. Indeed I agree there is an industry and health services + regulations are a joke in the US, costs are absurd. I am no specialist at all but when he said that, he didn't imply there were adequate treatments. The reshaping of the question is to help the person who is asking it so they can see the situation thru different lenses and therefore understand that there are treatments, then our next goal is to be hopeful something is gonna work help. It may not look exact the same to everyone. I hope the regulations on these institutions help them to see their patients like the humans they are, be empathetic, and not just coin makers.

[@EveningTV]

@Francoise Sagan Yes, in his famous quote, "Don't ask why the addiction, ask why the pain." I completely agree with this, but the issue I am speaking to is then what? What is the next step?

[@TheFosterMama]

Kk

[@jac1161]

Italian homes definitely didn't have that problem (suppressing feelings). We have the opposite...problem :) It all needs to be addressed.

[@sukhvircheema1311]

jay shetty needs to himself before giving his bogus suggestions to others..dr gaber is nice person he can deliver and is delivering wisdom

[@AtypicalPaul]

Many parents in the u.s are back to work in a week after giving birth

[@bonniekesic8040]

When you talk about childhood trauma, what age is that exactly? Teenager years or young children in the formative years?

[@A_n_y_t_i_m_e]

From what I've learned in the past 9 months, the formative years are critical, you're like a sponge in that period. Of course, if trauma happens in teenage years, it's also pretty heavy hitting if not dealt properly (personally I know 3 persons that had traumas in their teenage years, from 14 to 18 - they are in their mid 20's now and they are a mess).

[@MsGabiele]

It all makes sense now!

[@OrdinaryFemmale]

Since I retook the lead for my healing and found out about Gabor Maté, I've been watching every interview I can! I am so grateful for his life, for his work, but I am also grateful for Dr Range and Jay Shetty for being who they are and for their honorable purpose of helping me and you to find ourselves and make the world better, we can only help other people if we are able to give ourselves the same grace. Sending love to you all coming across my comment ❤

[@abutterfly7975]

Then, why doesn’t everybody who has experienced trauma have ADD or ADHD that doesn’t make any sense to me although I love Dr. Mate, but I just can’t wrap my mind around why everybody wouldn’t have ADD if it was all a matter of having trauma that you were unable to change or do anything about?

[@manwithavoice]

1:18:30 not a question of indulging it, but it’s a matter of understanding it, teaching it, and realizing that it can be ok without indulging in this behavior

[@jenniferzaft5285]

Nice to know, but what does understanding what and why the pain is do.

[@caribarrett6175]

#7:25 hits home for me, I think…. but I don’t remember….....

[@BernardTaylor]

I am not sure taking these two guys coming from different perspectives together in this video makes sense? Especially at the beginning where Jay seems to directly challenge Dr. Gabor's perspective?

[@AnnaLVajda]

Well I think it's good because some viewers might have the same resistance to Gabors views and if so they will feel their concerns have been addressed. Watching a you tube video is not the same as actually having a personalized consultation but I like how he does not avoid conflict entirely he just maintains his perspective and explains why he thinks as he does.