How SOCIETY & CULTURE Leads Us Down A Path Of TRAUMA & ADDICTION | Dr. Gabor Maté

[@lettyyeow9389]

I need to listen to dr Mate at least once a day it helps me to understand myself after80+years of trauma and manic bipolar depression I have decided to live the best I can with God’sgrace and mercy.

[@wanelisaxaba6172]

@lettyyeow9389 I am proud of you and with you the very best in your healing journey

[@upupandaway5646]

Stay strong buddy

[@anthonyjansen]

Me too. I’m 84

[@evasvensson4334]

God bless you 🙏 from Sweden 🇸🇪 ❤

[@anthonyjansen]

@@lettyyeow9389 I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. IM 84 and still healing. We are on the right side of the coin with Mate

[@loridouglas5576]

What a lovely world it will be when all the doctors bring this perspective to health care 🙏🏻

[@johnbagewll2321]

It’s a God send that these platforms exist. You won’t find this realism from the therapist you pay.

[@MsJessyJess]

Medical mafia is only interested in money

[@MegaDiva1999]

if only. If only they were reflective, selfaware, humble and knew that they are NOT God and not above mistakes, perceptions, wrongdoing and the obligation to learn and to listen

[@violet807]

Black women get sick because most of them are obese, with diabetes and sickle cell anemia.

[@scarletohara6743]

I'm not waiting for the doctors. I'll be dead by the time they catch up with what's possible. So I do all I can. That is not to say that I haven't spent ample time in therapists offices of all ilks. They often harm as much as they help which is to say they do help sometimes and you can't be naive about that.

[@BecomeConsciousNow]

I love how honest and compassionate Gabor is. You can learn from honest people because there's no agenda, just honest, truthful, helpful advice.

[@saramae194]

So accurate. There is a tenderness yet physiological evidence of what he believes.

[@dhgfffhcdujhv5643]

Have you seen his sons work ?

[@ritevibe]

@@dhgfffhcdujhv5643 no - what do they do?

[@dhgfffhcdujhv5643]

@@ritevibe you can simply look up Aron Mate ...

[@andreilucian10]

So natural..

[@ClickUp]

I am a recovering gambler, alcoholic, diagnosed with BPD. In a lot of pain. I like Gabors approach. Makes me feel human.

[@tejaswinizumbre]

Good luck and best wishes to you.. Don't give up.. Never give up and keep trying.. Your pain will subside.. Time is also a great healer.. Having faith helps a lot too.. My ex BF has BPD.. He came out of addiction after years of trying.. Finally, he could make it .. He is sober for over a year now and he is doing well.. Keeo up your good work and efforts. you will too free yourself from the debilitating pains... Try to disidentify from your pains.. Read the book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.. that talks about being in the present.. it will certainly help more.. . God bless.. 🙏🌺🌸🌺🌸👍👍⚘

[@majorerr0r840]

Ive always felt the same. Like I was a different race. Always feel alone, even if there is people around me that cares. C-PTSD+ I feel you mate..

[@leannefaulkner-charve6910]

And you are human! You’re lovely and you know it🤗💪

[@angelinapearson5560]

You DESERVE to feel Human, Worthy, Loveable 🙏🏼 🌟

[@aallerton]

You ARE human. I don't know if you are a man or a woman, young or old, don't know anything about you besides that same pain that I still struggle with as a recovering alcoholic and addict. I believe myself to be human, so you must be too. Wish you all the best. It does get better.

[@yukio_saito]

59:02 "Trauma is not what happened to you. Trauma is what happened inside you as a result of what happened to you."

[@Padraigp]

And sometimes thats not all bad. My cat just got killed. She was the best creature that brought so much joy. She was too cute soft and amaxing in so many ways and now she is a little furry thing in a box. No longer full of life. Just gone. Now a little skeleton with some meat and a fur coat. And the last thing i said is put the cat out she keeps jumping on everything. We were trying to do my sons college portfolio and she kept eanting to play. And i think eating. Were we i cant remmeber. Last thing i said was actually " gently" worried a little that my son might do it rudely. I have rescued three dogs and four cats ... the last one karu was a tiny ball of fluff crying in the night. She was so small. Shes still small. Too small for the car which lilely killed her and too small for the big male tom who was attacking her still warm body when i found her. She was just a cat. Many more. But only one. And everyone is thus. Only one. Many of us and each completely a diamond that is so rare it has no twin. Everything we do ends only one way. I know nothing. Except that i loved my cat and will always love her and always appreicate finding her and always know it was me who put her outside to her doom. I am smoking a ciggarette. I wish the dogs could talk to me. All i can do is love the dogs even more. I already fed the cat who atatcked her and danother tom who came by. Possibly her father. What more can i do. I cant keep everyone inside and away from harm i cant stop war. I cant fix anything. All i can do is love the shards.

[@danielmurray9820]

And excellent point to highlight 👌

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

Yes

[@berekexer8158]

How is this insightful? If you believe in determinism, that's a no brainer. The whole basis of education system no?

[@gymnast1270]

😊😅🙌🙌8j​@@Padraigp

[@jennielai2459]

It’s a lonely road to choose authentic. You need to be ready to lose everyone you love. I have never regret my choice because those I lost I realized that they never loved me as I am. It’s a shame to be forced to live in lies.

[@sharynmain2432]

Yes… be prepared when you wish to treat yourself better and then expect others to follow suit… you will without doubt loose loved ones , friends and acquaintances. It is the sad nature of the beast.

[@Luella-zg1og]

Totally agree. I've lost so many people now I've set boundaries, got sober and just not tolerating people who only want YOU to listen to them yet THEY don't listen to anything that's going on in your life.

[@elizabethk3238]

You're so right. Have to stay away from people who do not make you feel good about yourself. This includes siblings, or even parents or in extreme cases a child.

[@queenjahneen100]

Wow. Sometimes I feel like the only one. Everyone disappeared when I chose to be authentic. I didn’t see that coming. However, I wouldn’t change it although you’re right, it has been a lonely road.

[@MilagrosGreen-jf9fs]

I’m trying to do exactly what you did!

[@melaniesollows1449]

I’m a heroin addict, and have bin sober on and off for a long time. But Gabor always speaks to me. ❤️

[@thehylers1021]

You are not a heroin addict. You are a thoughtful, caring person who has used heroin in the past to make yourself feel better. God bless you!

[@ktbaby5237]

@@thehylers1021 WoW that's the way to put it! Big thanks for this!...

[@LoveLove-no7zz]

I care for you !!!! I was not raised by my parents and neither was my sister my sister was molested by my cousin who was raised by my sickly grandmother she also raised me so my cousin and I more like brother and sister turns out he molested my sister when she was 4 years old So now I don't know how to treat my brother/cousin I do love him just as much as I love my sister but I'm not able to show it and I don't know why Unfortunately he is addicted to heroin now and I pray he can overcome his troubles I don't want to overdose or something I care for you !!!!!!!!!!! And I don't know you Take care of yourself I love you !!!

[@nmorto2013]

Congrats on your recovery

[@yomommasfavoritesugarbaby8290]

NA is the only way

[@mywaybyshynggys]

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s 79! He’s a legend alive.

[@alexandrainnes6142]

I've watched many interviews of Gabor Mate. I've never seen him enjoy and resonate so much with his interviewer. Rangan Chatterjee and he are on the same heart-level. It's really lovely.

[@harrietjohnson1930]

I so agree. They’re on one accord for truth and well being.

[@edievanderhoeven-rv8cq]

Exactly 🤜🤛🏽!

[@OptimusRon23]

I just wish that every doctor was as good as Rangan and Gabor. Medicine has failed the country and these guys need so much more credit! Thank you Dr Rangan and Dr Gabor!

[@SavannahVu1985]

I totally agree 100%! If only doctors took the same approach as these who men instead of shoving endless amounts of extreme drugs down their throats.

[@campbecd]

Medicine is not the reason we only have 15 minutes per patient over a long day of many appointments, it's capitalism. Capitalism is also the reason the average patient is less educated than is possible, which also leads to more health concerns aka yet more appointments/patients in the already overburdened system. Those in the medical field that don't work for an insurance company are trying to help, they're doing the best our terrible system that prioritizes profit over health from birth to death allows them to do. If you want a better healthcare system, start educating your populace so they can see the stupidity of our system vs making it seems like doctor's have failed.

[@lenogillis797]

In a world seemingly focussed on superficial BS, THIS channel gives me something I find worth listening to. Thank you.

[@ajohnson6904]

THIS IS A CONVERSATION THAT SHOULD BE MANDATORY FOR EVERY HIGH SCHOOLER to listen to and absorb.

[@floraashley8848]

This is one of the best exchanges between 2 people that I've ever heard. Both being truly authentic.

[@marianabolivar4740]

I love the vulnerability of both Dr Mate and Rangan. So sincere and speaking from the heart.

[@gazels11]

When Gabor Maté speaks, people listen. I love his brain. Love his insights. Thanks Dr. Chattergee! I love your channel!

[@emmadilemma3602]

Wow, I started off nodding at things discussed and ended up crying at hearing things actually being said that resonate so much. Thank you.

[@stagecoachhighgate7646]

I'm only discovering how childhood trauma has been affecting my life and watching this session will help me to take more agency over it. As a result I trained to become a Mindfulness Coach so I could help myself, my children and others. Yes. our nervous system needs Compassionate Inquiry so we can become kinder to ourselves and thus kinder to others - HUMANKIND relies on us all.

[@sharynmain2432]

Yes the nervous system that has to support a human body in todays world is overloaded. Too many people tightly packed together living, pitted against each other to not just succeed but tick over without being a burden. I have been saying this for the last 10+ years, the pendulum has gone too far the other way, common sense and civility is losing the prevalence in our society. I have invested a lot of time in keeping on my side of the street doing my best to add to society but it is very hard when so many feel entitled , intrusive and feel they can intrude on others without being welcomed first. Personal space and feeling safe wherever we are is essential to our nervous system and regulating our emotions so we can all prosper to help ourselves along with others.

[@16Elless]

What a raw & honest conversation from both sides. I resonated with a lot of it. I’m 60+ & my mom was 35 when I was born & she came from the era of “children should be seen & not heard”. I see now that even as a small child I adapted my behaviour to fit that. I’ve never thought of my childhood as particularly bad, but I certainly didn’t get the love & understanding that I think children need, which I saw many friends getting. I believe my mom saw it as discipline. If I spoke out of turn there were consequences, which I learned quite early on. Obviously the way she brought me up reflected how she was brought up & looking back I know she never got any support from her parents when I was little and I suspect she didn’t get much when my brother was born 8 years before me. I chose not to have children myself & I believe my upbringing had a lot to do with that decision. My mom was strict & often impatient with me & I’ve always felt I didn’t have the necessary qualities needed to be a good parent because I’m quite a lot like her in many ways. Thanks for such a thought provoking conversation. A real “must listen”.

[@tejaswinizumbre]

Thanks for sharing.. my story is very similar to yours.. A very strict & impatient mother and a childhood without love, understanding and emotional support.. i needed to work a lot on myself. I am ok and doing well... Wishing you the very best.. God bless.. 🌸🌺🌸🌸🌺

[@joylamb8164]

Thank you SO much for expressing yourself!! Really relate...especially the "not worthy" feelings to have the qualities necessary to love and raise a child with that heart, full.

[@MsBettyRubble]

Sadly, that Era of "children should be seen and not heard" is generations old. Chances are, your great grandparents lived under the same tyranny. Let's hope Gabor Maté's philosophy replaces Dr. Spock very soon. Thanks for sharing your story. It's so important for us to realize how much trauma we have in common.

[@nevadatan7323]

I repeatedly heard the "children soon be seen and not heard" line from my parents, and that was in the 80s/90s. I grew up in a somewhat physically comfortable home, so I never realised that actually I had been emotionally abused and neglected until very recently. I'm struggling with a lot of mental disorders and addictions and am just learning how cptsd impacts life development. I'm incredibly angry because I believe my mother's temperament, her manner towards me, her unpredictability, rages... it all came from a place of narcissism. I wasn't beaten, I was actively ignored and made to feel worthless and now completely believe it on a fundamental level. Its very upsetting.

[@gk-mt3vy]

Maybe you find some further assistance in this video - came out today kzbin.info/www/bejne/m6XQpZalpK2Mlck

[@wendyneilson8422]

There are no words to describe how insightful this conversation is, if only people had the patience to really listen.

[@declanconlon4216]

Brilliant session as usual. Gabor Mate is an amazing person - so honest and enlightening. What energy and intellectual capacity at age 78! 🙏🏻

[@rachelcaldwell330]

Yes yes yes Namaste Derian C 🙏 Thank you for your post it resonates with me as I totally agree with the amazing beautiful intelligent man. He has helped me get through my A-class very huge destructive addiction leading me to realize i had/have many more all boiling down to a lifetime of eating disorders which lead me to my younger years the sexual abuse i wasn't allowed to express my feelings so pushed them down causing health problems and I continued to push them down after many more abusive horrific traumas and 3months before getting my counselling degree i was diagnosed with MS 2013 n I am grateful as I am physically all good unless I allow the MS to be in control. But Thank you Matè as i am now studying to be a therapist- clinician for people with eating disorders. I am blessed to have found you Matè Gabor aa you have played a huge role in my healing journey. If i could hug you i would ask you if I could and give you a HUGE HUG 🙏

[@mtm00]

I agree! (Although you could have stopped at "What energy and intellectual capacity.") (What are you suggesting by mentioning his age?)

[@declanconlon4216]

@@mtm00 It was not an ageist comment - I just mentioned age because he is a very good example of working and thinking at what he loves - I'm 67 and I have retired from my job 3 years ago - but I now Life Coach and teach Mindfulness and love learning, reading, studying, working out etc. I mentioned it to encourage other people to keep themselves mentally, intellectually, spiritually and physically active and live life to the full. Evidence is that many people don't. 🙏🙂

[@mtm00]

@@declanconlon4216 Thanks for your response. I wish you the whole health and longevity you encourage.

[@carolynw45]

@@mtm00 Yes I agree, what is this thing about 'age'?

[@events.losglobos]

I've struggled with addiction all my life. I love you all and please know your not alone.

[@almamikaliukas547]

I work with children with disabilities. What they both teach is vital information. It should be TAUGHT in middle schools and high-schools, to help people grow up with a chance of awareness and agency.

[@suzanneemerson9787]

Alma, when you say it should be taught in middle schools and high schools, you are presuming that those teachers are mentally healthy and whole people. I am here to tell you they are not. Some can’t make it in the adult world, so they seek a position where they have authority and power over kids. Many of them believe in strict discipline, judgement, and severe punishment. I know. I quit because of the attitudes of my fellow faculty members towards children. I couldn’t believe the destructive things they were saying to and about kids. They were treating children cruelly in pursuit of their own power. Ridicule was rampant. I’m not saying that’s every reacher, but far too many. Don’t assume.

[@karendalsadik7119]

@@suzanneemerson9787 wow, thank you for sharing that. It’s validating of my childhood public school experience. However, in order to teach this those teachers would have to learn the info. Don’t you think it could elevate teachers willing to learn and the ones who objected would hit the road?

[@visionvixxen]

🙏🙏🙏 yes yes yes. I’m 50 years old and lost. My brain is tired of searching for and unraveling what and how To change so I won’t say more

[@visionvixxen]

@@suzanneemerson9787right… you speak clear trut

[@llkoolbean4935]

We are lucky to have this man and his message. Bless Dr. Maté 🙏♥️

[@richstwart2079]

Doctors who push drugs and don't truly listen to patients are like an assembly line of patients is dictated by the health insurance Industry. Don't look for compassion from them. They should heed this content from these 2 compassionate doctors and learn. This video is gold.

[@CeceKruchkoSmith]

Thank you Doctors. You both have truly earned the title. I'm healing even while 15 years homeless. And all for free. And I'm down to only 1 destructive addiction. Only 1 from 3 😁: People pleaser Alcohol Nicotine Replacement non destructive addictions: Education Love of life 🧡

[@almamikaliukas547]

Go girl!!!

[@erinreily5920]

You are amazing!!💝

[@mollycote1021]

Excellent!🎉❤

[@crazyladytracy]

❤ love to you, you've done so well. ❤

[@Changeworld408]

wonderfull, drop the guilt or shame if you have any about yr homelessness. This industrial work centered model is destroying people's safety and and emotional needs for unconditional love. You and all humans are worthy of love and physical and emotional safety, but the system based on fear is causing damage to our self worth when we don't achieve their goals of obediance, learning, ... Human needs are the last thing the political elites care about. from a young age we are bullied in leaving our truth and essential needs. They have control through media, money and wor.

[@michaelknapp8961]

When I was a kid in 1970’s I had a pretty severe learning disability (ADHD). Well, the one major thing that I remember about myself back then was how stressed out I was!! With stress and worrying and self doubt pounding through my young mind every single day, no wonder I did poorly in school. If I knew how to calm down and felt understood and loved myself more I would have had a lot more success back then. My family was stressed so I became stressed.

[@visionvixxen]

Yes. You’re the first here talking about neurodivergence and how IT itself can be a source of stress. This stress can happen when your family isn’t and you are- misunderstanding, moral judgement, etc. It can happen even more if they are the same and no one understands themselves or knows anythjng. It’s survival /fear mode and literally real not just because of feelings because with executive function deficits and collective trauma from this, life IS objectively and procedurally very very challenged. So it’s not just the emotions . They are very very very important but oftrntimes with us, only the emotions are treated and other stuff/ not so much Or were “helped” through a general neurotypical model- which doesn’t translate. Anyway, I’m dealing with untangling generation, cultural, probable depression, maybe schizotypal, definitely add and asd tendencies in a family where no one from that culture looked at any of this. I’m the family patient, 50 now and still not financially or emotionally independent. I’m starting to feel a lot older and worn down and worry about how to live with or without my vyvanse. Basically I’m holding lord because after much work, my brain soul and body are just very very tired Like a person preserved while frozen can’t help it But simultaneously get very bored and tired of being confused and not living- and also others seeing me this way- and I start worrying and listening to this stuff Really want to be reset and saved

[@nmorto2013]

The fact he acknowledged the plight of oppression being a catalyst for sickness. Thank u. That validation made me cry.

[@solpractices]

Gabor, you are a hero of our time. May the world pay attention and heal

[@aug.jam.1]

Hands down one of the best KZbin interviews with Dr.Maté. Actually someone who is in sync, I have unfortunately seen many where they don't actually even listen what was said. Not their fault, they might still be not getting it, which I hope they do someday. That's why I felt this video was even more eye opening. Dr. Maté's books are actually really good and helped me more than those dozens of visits to my doctor, not saying you should buy the books and not go to the doctor, not at all, I'm sure Dr.Maté would agree, especially if you can't afford it either choice, but at least watch and finish this and various other videos, it is so eye opening. Thank you Dr. Chatterjee for this, much love from Mexico

[@cutzymccall7675]

As a writer this helped me. Fundamentally, I feel very peaceful and happy inside of myself. If the book I’m writing fails to sell, it won’t change my inner happiness. I have my issues, but daily meditation and learning from great people like these have helped me accept everything that happens to me with grace and gratitude. In fact, that is my daily prayer. The gratitude is for lessons learned, i.e., wisdom.

[@davidkong3369]

Jhhhhhhgkhhhhhghjhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhhjhjhggphhhhhhhhhhgjhhhhhhpghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjvhhhchjjjgoovhjhhhhhjoohhhhhhjvhhhjhhghghhvogojvghpcjhhjjhghhhhghjvhhjjhhojhhhhhhhhhhchcoghchcioccchttt55755555555555555555

[@davidkong3369]

5555555555555555555

[@davidkong3369]

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[@davidkong3369]

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[@davidkong3369]

I have attached 5 for your reference and 66k to the email and the 5 75 I have

[@lime2448]

I could listen to Gabor for days man his wisdom is truly fascinating

[@Kronus_Music]

Authenticity has always been one of my most important core values. It's so refreshing hearing two "successful" people speak with such depth and honesty. I'll be purchasing each of these guys' books.

[@loremipsum54321]

Kind of paradoxical that the way he puts it, gives me a feeling of temporary relief. Noticed how I find pleasure in listening to experts/teachers talk about mental health issues. Sometimes I just watch gabor mate speak on a youtube clip, just to feel whole.

[@tzmythos]

What a wonderful person Dr Maté is, so genuine, modest and deeply compassionate. And I have now learned enough about who you are, Dr Chatterjee, to know that you are the real thing. Excellent discussion. Thank you for this video, and all the others that I will listen to over time.

[@mandyhill3378]

Thank you for explaining the reason why I am an addict,Dr.Gabor is a Master.😊

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Guddilove801]

Gabor Mate is a legend and a global lesder in this kind of work. Noone comes close enough to talk on trauma like he does.

[@rinkinkel]

I wouldn't say my chronic disease was the best thing that ever happened to me, in fact it was among the worst, but it has taught me that I must allow myself to be happy at least some of the time and look at how I truly feel in the morning. I was amazed the first time I allowed a positive feeling to enter my thoughts. That made a new pathway in my brain, that I can now walk more often.

[@eSKAone-]

Don't get pressured. Everyone will waste their live. Just have fun with it, and try to be kind 💟

[@Kiwiwanderer]

These 2 men having this conversation. Sharing. THIS is when I love the internet. They nail the particular pressure from immigrant parents. My parents came from poverty, communism, family violence, addiction and the trauma of WW2. I’m 60yo shortly but feel 40yo. I’m finally questioning everything I was raised with, believe etc as I see I have put the same pressure on my daughter as I had and she is suffering. The last 5-10years I have focussed to be more me and let her be the same. It’s difficult. Society, family etc don’t encourage it. This video makes it more urgent to let go of everything that isn’t me and love my daughter unconditionally.

[@Teresinhadaniel]

So gratefull for your comment. I did the same with my adult son, for almost three decades and I regret it. I'm fighting everyday not to blame myself, because what I did was always based on what I knew best. My son and I have the most wonderful relationship. But yet, I'm trying to clean all the mess left behind. Once more, thank you so much for what you said, it helped me a lot!

[@visionvixxen]

Same here. So hard. I’m currently just laying low because I need a break and too tired of figuring this out.

[@patskinner2706]

I found this two days ago. I wish I would have found it years ago. Finally someone who makes sense, sharing honestly with compassion

[@Myheartofthematter]

I'm in the UK, and this culture scares the shit out of me. For decades I was misled to believe this a fault of mine, and the only times I felt at ease with myself and continue to feel this ease primarily when away from other people and surrounded by unadulterated nature was a fantasy land of my own making. I got so lost following society's rules and now in my 60th year I've returned back to myself only this time knowing it's no fantasy, this society is that and although I know I needed to take that journey to realise which way is up, I feel really sad that for so long of not trusting myself, so much stress that my body is wrecked. I'm grieving and angry about what this culture does to life as I look around and see everyone struggling with it, mostly those who pretend they are full of life, their eyes tell another story as their behaviour demonstrates, such behaviour that I once believed I was envois of, it turned out it was the attention they received that I was missing. I don't want that kind of attention anymore, I just want and need to be loved as I am authentically. I don't have money, I don't have a paid job, I don't have property, I don't have health, I had it all taken. I was isolated when I wasn't authentic and isolated because I don't hide who I am by pretending to be something I'm not and I say no to the pressures others place on me to conform. The simplest need to be loved yet the hardest to find in such an oppressive society!

[@ruthcov]

I love you.❤

[@AnnaBarbara-cb2rv]

🙏💜☮️⭐️

[@solarhydrowind]

♀️⚖️🦒🦋

[@visionvixxen]

Wow. This is me to a T and I’m just being supported by my parents. At 50. I don’t know how to fully do what you’re doing because I need to survive… and having several issues need some help and degree of physical and mental comfort. I wish this could all be solved with prayer because it’s just too much

[@elizabethk3238]

I'm a 76 year-old retired MSW who worked as a mental health counsellor at a major univetsity. I have learnt so much from the both of you. Thank you!

[@noellecuisine8912]

Thank you for this beautiful conversation❤! I’m 53 years old and have been working at healing my traumas, my childhood traumas since around my 20s, and although I have come a long way, I can still resonate and cry, When hearing the story of Gabor with his child and his own traumas when he was a young father. Our father was also wounded, and stayed in denial almost till his death , He denied even what he did to us as he was beating us when we were kids and he did more especially with our brother….I know he was hurt and damaged by what happened probably in his youth, and the wounding goes on and on, as I also lost my nerves when I was a young mother, passing on what I so wanted to not pass on….. we live in a world where we all need healing, where we all need so much love and space to do the work, where we need so much unconditional love, for this will transform our world, this will heal what promotes pain, domination, abuse, use, through this awareness may we become, The simple wonderful human beings and healing forces that we so need for selves and for the well-being of all❤

[@lisatroni677]

Me too……and I judge myself for not getting well earlier

[@nicolejna]

Rangan thank you from the bott of my heart for this wonderfull Episode....I actually cryed weile listening. I am a mama of 2 dealing with my own childhood Trauma, parenting guilt and what society thinks i should Deal with my kids...I am doing so much Hard work on myself and this Episode bringst me soooo mich Joy. Thank you for makeing me feel normal. Your work and yout Podcast is just so special.

[@grassyfields2293]

Congratulations to you for addressing your issues at this point in your life! I was in the same position 36 years ago, but I’ve only started addressing my own issues at 71.5. I have so much guilt and regret for all the mistakes I made with my 2 children. And they go round and round in their lives, suffering with the same issues. A sad generational legacy. Prayers for you as you move forward and face these things now. Much love to you! You’re a wonderful mother to recognize what you have and what you think you should do! I admire you so very much! ❤

[@suwansatahoo]

@@grassyfields2293 You’re bold and wise for not using your age and the fact that your kids are grown to prevent you from working on yourself…. Love and light to you, you are inspiration

[@grassyfields2293]

@@suwansatahoo thank you. That means a lot to me and gives me continued encouragement.

[@jcm5171]

So obvious to me, always has been. How wonderful it is to hear this conversation, Dr Chatterjee. I have never met anyone who wasn't addicted to something, if only a way of thinking...! Gabor Maté is so great.

[@Loonatic816]

Finally a worthy interviewer of this great mind.

[@Plubb1984]

I am actively seeking full recovery. Blessings and thank you!

[@urbanyoga1]

Being "authentic" can make me feel good or sometimes extremly lonely.

[@upendasana7857]

I love Dr Chatterjee.I'll never forget the first time seeing him on BBC tv and bei g so amazed to see this doctor who had a different approach to most doctors and saw the whole person rather than just peoples illnesses. I have totally seen him change in the years he has done these podcasts and find his openness and readinesd to share his own personal process very endearing. I just wish I had a GP I could go to like him and can only hope more doctors take on his approach. Also I have to say about meeting a clinical psychologist is in my experience many of them had it done much self work unless it has changed in recent years but the people I knew who trained in clinical psychology it was still pretty much academic and not much self awareness.

[@beefmaster7]

22:30 I relate this "When they're being authentic is when they feel really good about themselves"

[@TSLondon]

Rangan, this one made me cry a couple of times. Really difficult to hear (re doing "controlled crying" with our babies) and my thanks to you and to Gabor for encouraging us to not be guilty about listening to experts rather than to our own feelings and intuition. I'm so glad it's all repairable as Gabor said. I was studying full-time and working one day a week in a corporate, doing most of the baby stuff myself, it was an incredibly tough time. So glad that young parents now have beautiful wisdom like this to follow instead.

[@penelopedickinson1675]

How wonderful to hear 2 brilliant physicians talk about how broken our health system is for people with chronic illness. I an unable to get an appointment at my surgery because my chronic condition stops me from fitting in to their timescales for booking appointments. I've been brushed off by a receptionist today when I was there in person. I deal with my chronic condition myself. Gabor has given me great insight to my problem. I will source my own practitioners to work on it. I feel disrespected and abandoned by our health system. I hope one day Dr Chatterjee and Gabor Mate will be listened to 🙏🙏

[@HeartFeltGesture]

We've sacrificed our authenticity as children in order to survive and get love crumbs from our shitty parents, and now we don't know who we are because we suppressed that authenticity.

[@HeartFeltGesture]

@@iainwhite5475 All sarcasm aside, of course its intergenerational trauma. But if you dont understand a thing about narcissistic parental abuse, I advise you to jog on.

[@iainwhite5475]

Hi Acidbay aka Heartfelt. Please don't read me wrong, I'm not making fun of you, me, your parents or mine. I happen to have been a carer of a loved one for several decades who is as narcissistic as hell. Maybe I am too, even if I don't think so; though I can after many years see how being an over-indulgent parent (me) can be a bad thing too. Why might I be over-indulgent, well, living in wealthier times than my pre-war parents, the pressures on them were different to the pressures and expectations on me which are different to the pressures on my adult child. My parents were about survival. My generation, a mix of indulgence and a greater expansion of consciousness outide our village, town, city, country, continent ... and a desire for our kids not to be slaves to our egos but friends. Compassion is needed to those who have harmed us, intentionally or not. (And to those who haven't). If we don't have it to give even our "shitty parents", then we probably won't have much for others, or even ourselves. Please listen to Dr. Maté around 1:04:30 ... he addresses the difference between parental blame and society as a whole. Later in the talk Dr. Chatterjee adds "blame and guilt doesn't help anyone". Compassion, compassion, compassion. I will delete my original message HeartFelt AcidBoy and this reply if it is causing you grief. There is no monopoly on suffering. Let me know. Be well.

[@amberinthemist7912]

​@iainwhite5475 not everyone wants to roll over for their narc parents. You sacrifice your life to care for someone who wouldn't care for you. People who care more for themselves and wouldn't sacrifice their life that way aren't lacking in compassion we just have more for ourselves than our narc parents.

[@HeartFeltGesture]

@@amberinthemist7912 You suggest I wanted to roll over? Scapegoated since year zero. It wasnt a choice. I eventually gained my own power despite being brainwashed from the beginning, now that is what I call strength and power!

[@traceyduty6440]

The complete and wholeness and happiness i.m 53 and am just now feeling this

[@SweetUniverse]

I'll never forget how I felt when I finished my first 100K word novel, even though it was crap. I had been writing for myself - to see if I could do it, and I did. I had no additional conditions on myself like selling my novel.

[@Mumsoncountrylife]

My two best doctors giving an excellent and compassionate perspective

[@emmamorrison8518]

I wish all doctors were trained to be like this. We would be a much healthier world if they were.

[@Veronicawardwell]

Gabor, you speak the truth of my soul. Love You❤

[@lindybright1938]

Dr. Gabor Mate truly speaks to my soul. I find it so easy to understand what he's saying and he doesn't confuse me. He inspires me to be introspective. Truly a great interview!

[@LAKSHMIANGELES]

YOU 2 DRS SHOULD B TEACHING AT MEDICAL SCHOOLS. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK💖 🌺✌🏾💚🌺

[@Saoirse-xt7mi]

Agreed! Recently I came across the information explaining why medical schools produce "pill pushers", not physicians dedicated to finding out WHY a person is sick, and prescribing lifestyle changes and less toxic, limited medication protocols that would facilitate real healing. Apparently, not only was John D. Rockefeller an oil barron, but much too influential in how our physicians were trained in medical school. He thought prescription meds should be used rather than any holistic treatments, regardless of their effectiveness. Of course, the medications he thought should be used were made from petroleaum products!!!! His influenece even carried over into creation of 2 prominent medical association still in effect today. Once I read this information, I no longer wonder why the U.S. medical system operates the way it does. It seems more than our government needs a complete overhaul!

[@natet5959]

I haven't succeeded yet, so I haven't experienced the empty, sinking feeling. I guess I'm grateful for that, but it's still frustrating. I've been a musician all of my life and I've realized recently that I'm not going to be rich and famous, but I still enjoy doing it. At this point, I just want validation and appreciation.

[@annalawton6468]

I chose to make music my job and live the life with music as a teacher,and playing in groups. I kept a bugjet and made it work. I don't regret it. I havnt gone without anything I needed and I feel privileged to have had a life based around what I loved and felt good about.

[@nicolesavioz6601]

What a wonderful contribution to human development. Thank you so much.

[@claudenicholson3894]

My two favorite Doctors together!!!

[@karih9592]

I was constantly asking if this is really the life I was meant to live. It felt so empty. I felt so alienated. So, I avoided these feelings by trying to live the "normal life". Then one day my normal life literally crashed into a wall. That produced an anxiety I had never felt before. The first time in my life I felt uncertain, uncertain about myself, uncertain about my purpose. Now I know that it was a blessing. Now I know the meaning of my life.

[@paulbaurichter7228]

I myself had what I call a "Hell week" a year ago. It started me on a new path. Gabor Mate has validated my experience and my life has slowly been changing. Your not alone Kari.

[@Butterflybishop7001]

You’re not alone 😊 🙏 I wish you well.

[@richardscathouse]

🥱🥱🥱 IME life is what you get while making other plans. Nothing has suited me yet. On the good side I'm almost done 60yrs old. And have learned some valuable lessons. Like "Don't Go into the Light!" that's the recycle port. I've had my fill, thanks 😊

[@debrascianna3433]

My change is here I am in the midst of crying for two weeks. Understanding this is the process

[@christophorustan8003]

Thank you Dr. Chatterjee and Dr Maté for such an open and honest sharing.

[@Knaeben]

18:26 that's exactly why succeeding is so valuable. Those of us that have failed at everything are condemned to never be sure what is what. So, succeeding still has its value.

[@groovethangralph]

Thank you both for being on the planet!!!!! What a brilliant and engaging conversation!! Can’t wait to read The Myth of Normal!

[@MichelePace-p9p]

You are truly a compassionate and wise man Dr. Gabor. Thank you bot for making a huge difference in lives and truly understand hurting souls.

[@HM-mw7cg]

The convo from 40mins onwards really speaks to why I'm so weary of the likes of Ali Abdaal and the productivity/health gurus like him all over social media atm. Every now and then you catch a post that exposes just how little life and emotional experience they have

[@marylouleeman]

We need a tribe, a sense of belonging. So plain. Thank you. Simply knowing this resolves a lot for me right now!

[@moosh35]

I'm learning so much here. I didn't realize how much growing up in a home with a parent who had trouble with alcohol and another parent who didn't communicate at all was so detrimental to how I grew up. My belief was that my feelings were not valid or important because the attention was on the alcoholic and it's triggered me as an adult in situations. Suppressing my feelings has caused me health problems in many ways including R.A, Dysphonia and depression. I'm searching for help to be healthy internally and these videos are really helping me to understand myself.

[@WM37980]

I have recently learnt that ‘an alcoholic parent holds the strings to every single thing that happens in the house’. They take away all your power, and its very hard to start to get it back!

[@helenbostock2350]

I so glad you as renowned doctor speak out. I like you describe yourself as an honest individual person. It's will go it off the selves as hot cakes

[@trinitytwo14992]

A truly compassionate man. I wish he had been my Doctor.

[@kyo_beyond]

Dr. Chatterjee, you are a great interviewer. I really like how respectful you are to the guest and how honest you are, sharing your own examples while being humble. Your conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté is my favorite one among all. Thanks for both of you for your genuine, inspiring, and greatly educational conversation.

[@nutopiansg7613]

"A WISE MAN LEARNS FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS"

[@reeves326]

Dr Mate is such an incredibly wise, deep and compassionate person. I could listen to him forever. He's an inspiration!

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤ Me Too 😇 ❤

[@francesbeth2077]

Gabor has a wealth of knowledge and conveys it with such ease. Thank-you!!!

[@AmyNick-cs7gz]

Absolutely unusual conversation between two medicos but very insightful and can resonate well with what they feel as compassionate doctors.. they are truly gems among doctors...no doctor talks more than ten minutes even if we try to ask them things they snap and ask r u the dr or me if only we have atleast one dr lik these ppl in a city so many can actually live well...God bless you both❤

[@Petunia3001]

I have been having a health issue recently so I looked up “‘issue’ and emotions” and the first article I clicked on authentically related to my search made my jaw drop open! It’s almost as if I had gone to see a fortune teller and I was amazed at how accurate they were! I’ve long agreed that body and mind are intrinsically connected, but it’s almost downright spooky how closely related my health issue is with my current emotional state and struggle.

[@leonabug619]

I'm so glad I discovered Gabor Maté. His perspective of addiction affirms what I have observed and thought about throughout my own addiction. Early on when I first started using I was always meeting new people, and they would open up to me and share their stories. What I realized was that every one of them had a starting point, something traumatic happened to them during childhood or teenage years. Or some if them were basically raised in a drug environment and got high with their parents. I always felt guilty bcuz my trauma seemed like a cake walk compared the things I was told. Then eventually I end up in rehab and it helped, but the whole NA mindset and steps just never appealed or worked for me. I know it works for some people, but so many people relapse and get sober and relapse again. Well when I was in rehab it was all about structure and reprogramming, but there was never any type of therapy available or even thought of as important. Addiction is a SYMPTOM of something broken in us, and we just want to stop hurting. THAT'S the reason adddicts relapse, and its basically inevitable that we will relapse if we dont figure out what our trauma is, bcuz THAT is what needs to be worked on. I'm working on the trauma and I have a much better outlook on my future. I hope someday Dr. Gabor's work is utilized to help more addicts.

[@ashleegrove]

Life changing. I'm in the flow, and around every bend, the perfect teacher appears. How can I bring this information to children? Biopsychosocial, integrative education grounded in science and rooted in compassion. This is my dream. Thank you, Rangan and Gabor.

[@hollybritton7255]

Living in a small town impacts greatly what I feel comfortable with, in sharing with health care professionals. I was a medical transcriptionist and know that nothing is truly confidential.

[@ioanaionescu1867]

As a recovering addict i can say he understans perfectly addiction so spot on ❤❤❤❤❤

[@mayasmith9650]

I was so relieved to be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease because I no longer had to worry about pleasing people or letting them down.

[@jadewindom68]

😂 THIS isn't funny 😂 but I totally get it, I got a rare one the doctors can't figure out......no more people pleasing for US 💞

[@Golgibaby]

Thank you for the candor, vulnerability, openness, and sensitivity to the vital paradigm shift in the profession to facilitate healing or at least not further worsen harm. Thank you both for your work and content!

[@Becca6296]

💯

[@Teresinhadaniel]

👏👏👏🙌

[@BeátaŽáková-r5y]

I love how they complete each other in this conversation! The deep understanding of the topic in both parties is so refreshing! I love the answers it brought to me. I do hav to point out though. How does one find their inner authenticity? I guess when I finish watching I might find the answer.

[@lectionesantiquae3090]

17:09 Most people would suppose that the contrary would happen, that he would be happy and have the feeling of fulfillment. This story is an amazing illustration of what was being said.

[@tonybits369]

Luv How Gabor states facts while also it passes down expierences that Rangan will use in his future practices as a dr....STay blessed both of you awesome doctors that the world needs more of.... Kaisen & kudos to both & all Doctors in this and out of this world...Thank you Both...❤🖖🙏🤍🤍🤍

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Miauuv]

Thank you so much to both of you 🙏❤️ The few times in my life I really just spoke with my voice straight from my heart I really didn't care how others would percive it, If it was good or bad, I just were me, so alive

[@lauracde4414]

I don’t think anyone knows if they are truly free from chasing success and wanting appreciation until they have repeatedly failed to achieve their goals despite pouring out consistently the very best of themselves. If they can continue to do so indefinitely, knowing there will be no rewards ever, then they know they have achieved what you are describing. I’m blessed to know some family caregivers who meet this criteria and they are such holy people.

[@xikano8573]

I'm just here, sipping on my yerba mate listening to Dr Gabor Mate. Brilliant, brilliant man - thank you Rangan for having him come by for a little chat with you... 🙏🏽

[@reecehughes4954]

Just read the comments and just wanted to say that I don't usually read comments these days but I noticed that there's a lot of people who are supporting to others maybe the world needs this guys message in daily doses we might change something for the better

[@zenoofcaledonia2439]

I think it is a unique aspect of the human experience to feel existential angst. And with greater ease of survival in developed countries people have much more time to contemplate this. Just being content and at peace with being is one of the hardest things to cultivate.

[@dorothybecker6259]

Thank you for your knowledge that is beautiful about following you instinct! I wish parents today would listen to the child more!

[@jamesanderson1951]

I could listen to such wisdom all day long. It reminds me of the clarity that Sanah Ahsan has applied to psychiatry. This discourse is missing from the mainstream media. 👏

[@tonuuct2]

Out of all the interviews with Dr. Gabor Mate that I have watched, I believe that you, as the host, have the strongest connection with him.

[@Epistemikk]

Wow! I am simply impressed of how much social criticism is brought up here. And not only brought up, but also broadly explained and linked to what we actually need. This is great, and I hope a lot of people are going to see, digest and well integrate this. Thank you so much!

[@chazhas5183]

Anecdotal...Scott Peck"s Road Less Travelled was all about his experiences with clients. I read that book 8 times before I ever learned of either of you. The spirutual section at the end of his book is where I'm at at 54yrs old and I truly always feel better about myself when I'm connected and helping another human being. Thank you both for what you do AND how you both do it. I look forward to reading both of your latests publications. Thank you both for making it important to share what you've learned. I've just celebrated 2yrs drug free after decades of addiction problems. Some of the things you guys are talking about have changed the process of how i think about myself, others and the world around me. Today, I too am much more comfortable in my own skin.

[@sheiladuke3289]

❤ God Bless You ❤🎉 🤗 😇 ❤❤

[@corrinnemurray1852]

Funny thing, that exactly what they are saying about my stress making me feel ill, has been totally what I have believed and this all makes so much sense to me❤❤❤