Gal Pals In A One Bed | r/SapphoAndHerFriend

More that erasing of gay
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[@crowshadowfire1177]

Been dating my partners for about 2 years 11 months. Can confirm they get called my "friends" all the time by my parents. I always respond with "The people I've been dating for nearly three years, yes."

[@Zylette]

I have a weird case like this. My partner is referred to as my "friend" including quotations by my family that knows. But my uncle did that too with his fiance when they were dating...

[@B3LALUGOSISD3AD08]

My family do that aswell with my partner 💀

[@meluvfriends]

I read this as "dating my parents" Im so sorry for your experience, but this comment gave me a much needed smile, even if it was dueti my lack of reading😂😂

[@ttthecat]

Are you in a poly relationship? Do your parents understand what that means? Do they do this in public or even in private? The reason I ask is because I am trying to figure out if they do this because they don’t want your relationship to be acknowledged publicly (worried about what other people will think if you are in a thruple)or if they really don't understand it, or if they are in full denial and think it's a phase or something. BTW congrats on your relationship milestone of 3 years!

[@bread7567]

My mum calls my partner my friend even though we’re opposite sex and she doesn’t know I’m enby 💀

[@johapunkt3053]

Showering together literally *never* saves any water, or time, whatsoever.

[@Anael_is_lost]

Facts

[@melissabarrett9750]

...unless you don't have continuous hot water and a tank where the water runs cold after 20 minutes 🥶

[@IMightBeVanny]

It does if you're not going in there to get clean 😏

[@johapunkt3053]

@@melissabarrett9750 Ouch, yeah, fair point!

[@Desimere]

@@melissabarrett9750 we had a tank worse than that in my parents house and showering together there was just as bad. If i showered alone for 10 minutes with the water running continuously, there wouldn't be enough water for another person, so the assumption was that you only use water when you need it and turn it off while you're lathering yourself. With two people there's not even enough space to do that. Both people are just getting some spray in an inefficient manner, which will definitely end up taking more water in the end. Maybe in public showers where you can step away

[@darenallisonyoung8568]

Yes! Willow and Tara were an openly lesbian couple (and powerful witches). Tara was killed by one of the show's villains, and Willow went completely off the rails, nearly destroying the world in her grief and rage.

[@Remus_Studio]

I haven’t gotten to this episode yet, but I love the show so far and was so happy when she and Tara got together

[@GamesAndShips]

This show was the first positive representation I ever saw of a lesbian relationship and did a lot for making me feel less like I was bad during my deeply religious upbringing.

[@ThAlEdison]

@@Remus_Studio Season 6 2-part finale. Season 6 is an insane rollercoaster of emotions.

[@ThAlEdison]

Or was it a 3-part finale, my memory is shot

[@kaitlyn__L]

@@GamesAndShips I felt pretty betrayed by Willow erasing her memories though ngl

[@StoryBird2]

13:32 I knew a kid who was like "Yeah I have 4 moms" and I was too busy figuring out the math as a child to even THINK there would be a guy involved, there wasn't. Two lesbians broke up and both got new girlfriends

[@DeathnoteBB]

Hell I still forget kids can have 4 parents

[@Blaire_Shoe]

@@DeathnoteBB Got me thinkin bout how if a kid has 2 bio and 2 adoptive parents, then the adoptive split and get new partners, they can have 6 or more--

[@Liggliluff]

When you include poly-relationships there's no limit. Two biological parents, but then an infinite number of step-parents.

[@alex_blue5802]

They've got me beat, I only have three moms.

[@aceofspades5226]

@@Liggliluff UNLIMITED. CHRISTMAS PRESSEEENNTS

[@qqu2182]

Reminds me of a horrible experience I had when I was in the hospital. Anytime my wife would come to visit one nurse would specifically call her my friend. Even if I would directly respond "no, that's my wife" he would answer back "yes, your friend is here."

[@ttthecat]

That is so terrible!!! I would actually be concerned to have that person deal with my medical issues if they were so obviously homophobic.

[@John_Weiss]

This happened _constantly_ to gay men dying of AIDS in the 1980s. Their life-partners were treated as strangers … if they were fortunate. Most of the time, they were flat-out banned from the room. And the homophobic staff would leave the dying men lying in dirty sheets, sometimes even in their own poo & pee, because the bigoted staff couldn't even be bothered to help them out of bed to the toilet. There are many, many stories from Lesbians having to go and clean their dying gay male friends, because nobody else would. This mistreatment is why gay marriage even became an issue: Men watching the love of their life dying were told, over and over and over again, that "you're not allowed to…" because "you're not married." The bigots created the very thing they now complain about. Never forget this.

[@qqu2182]

@@ttthecat oh, the care was atrocious too

[@commandercorl1544]

"that is literally my wife" "so anyways your friend came to visit"

[@Maeve_Orchid]

@Ville who asked?

[@saneshko]

Talking about "two heterosexuals breath in the same room and they call it tension" - I suddenly remembered what a relief it was to watch a TV show Y Gwyll where there are two main characters, a man and a woman, both single, both heterosexual - and they JUST WORK TOGETHER!!! They don't end up as a couple, they have NO intimate moments whatsoever, they just stay colleagues. I really can't explain it, but it was just... A relief, seriously! 😅

[@LangkeeLongkee]

Love to see it. But hets are really like that 😭 one of my favourite ships is Chloe Frazer from Uncharted and Nadine Ross. Two women, Nadine explicitly says in the game she wasn't attracted to any of the men she was with but was using them for status related reasons, is closer with Chloe than she is with any other character she's interacted with, they openly flirt, cast members ship it, the writer said publicly that he thinks they'd like to get together and the studio that made the game made official Christmas cards of them under mistletoe. If you say they're gay in a general uncharted space people will accuse you of inserting LGBT stuff into everything and making everything gay. Yet still to this DAY there are people who think Chloe was dating a male character she interacted with in one game and interacted with kindly twice. Once where he was drugged and she was talking him down from violent behaviour and again when he broke his leg. Low-key it always felt kinda motherly how she was talking to him, both times he was hurt and she was trying to de-escalate things. But no they're together tho. 🙄

[@chanterelle483]

@@LangkeeLongkee Yeah but these are different people (for the most part).

[@LangkeeLongkee]

@@chanterelle483 you lost me.

[@chanterelle483]

@@LangkeeLongkee ??? I meant that maybe it's not that the same person ships every possible straight couple and complains about every gay ship. Well, some of them are, there are some crazy people out there. But this is a general atmosphere created by interactions with thousands and thousands of people. Maybe the people who complain about gay ships complain about straight ships, too, but you wouldn't know.

[@TheMonotonePuppet]

Such a thing... actually exists!?!?! Get the news on this story asap!!! It will take the world by storm!!

[@RB-vo4gi]

“They wanted to be buried together. That was really morbid, sorry.” At 6:15 was especially funny because right before that you mentioned “Achilles and his friend”. They literally wanted their ashes mixed together after they died and people still say they were just good friends. Also the Buffy one! Following the death of her FRIEND? I think they mean the love of her life! Definitely gay erasure.

[@callnight1441]

i think the problem arises that Homer himself (the primary source for the Trojan War) never specifically mentioned or eluded to that they were lovers; only that Patroclus was the only one he treated kindly. Them being explicably gay only came from later authors

[@professorbutters]

@@caprisun-r6e On that subject, there’s one thing that bugs the hell out of me about that book. Breiseis is a captured, enslaved, and given away to Achilles as a war prize. Patroclus is trying to convince her that she’s going to be ok, but she doesn’t speak Greek, so in order to demonstrate that it’s safe, he grabs Achilles and kisses him. Well, excuse me, but if I were in that situation, that would not make me feel safer AT ALL. Even if they’re gay and in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t assault me sexually or mistreat me. It is not some kind of magic protection. I cannot believe she would write that. It’s so insensitive and dumb. Not to mention that in Homer, Breiseis laments over Patroclus’ body that he had promised to convince Achilles to marry her when they got home. So P is a stand up guy, who wanted to make sure that this prisoner of war had a safe home with his lover. She legit mourns him as a kind person, probably kinder than Achilles himself, but still: the only way to communicate to a vulnerable person who has been captured in a violent situation that they are safe with you is TIME.

[@professorbutters]

@@callnight1441 I think that’s a cultural misunderstanding. They are far MORE than boyfriends. They’re blood brothers, and comrades in arms. They literally will and do die for each other. Even if they married women, which they probably would have if they’d lived, they would still have had a relationship that was on a higher level than that. Most male-male relationships weren’t a mutual partnership of equals. They literally didn’t have the language for that. The older, more powerful of the lovers frequently picked the younger one’s wife. (Also, Athens, the cradle of democracy, treated women like shit). So it’s kind of complicated. This is what happens when people don’t acknowledge historical context. But still, they are WAY more than just good pals.

[@TitularHeroine]

@@callnight1441 I wouldn't correct anyone's spelling or grammar unless whatever I'm reading doesn't make any sense; so, sincerely -- apologies in advance. "Allude" basically means hint at, which I think you're saying here; "elude" is to dodge or evade. I'm only bringing it up since the topic is erasure and I think it's possible someone could take it that way. Thanks for your patience with my pedantry 😉

[@John_Weiss]

@@callnight1441 Uhhhh… not so. Firstly: _only_ husbands and wives had their ashes mixed together in the same urn after death. Pretty clear statement right there. But secondly, when Achilles is lamenting over Patroclus' body, he wails that he'll never again feel, _Patroclus' thighs._ To any Ancient Greek reading or hearing that, that screams, _"They were having sex." You see, back in Ancient Greece, Good Upstanding Greek Lads _did not do _*_certain things._* There was one form of "approved" sex between men: intercrurial intercourse. "Intercrurial" means *_BETWEEN THE THIGHS._* I repeat: Achilles lamenting never again feeling Patroclus' thighs is a _direct declaration_ that they were having sex. And would have been so obvious to Ancient Greek audiences, it didn't need to be any more explicit.

[@lark7655]

about the "cant two women just be friends?" I will never forget when I was watching the finale to she-ra and the princesses of power with my little sister and when catra and adora got together she said something along the lines of "hm. I feel like they would be better as friends. not cause they're both girls, but cause this doesnt seem good for them" and she was like, 11, 12 ish. I thought about it for a bit and tbh i agree, idk if that relationship would work out between them unless they both got some serious therapy lol, love my little sister for being aware enough to go "oh heck yes, gay, but please be healthy"

[@Smiley_Fruitcake]

I actually agree, they need therapy before their relationship could ever be considered healthy. I say that as someone who did a couples Catra and Adora cosplay with my girlfriend because I still really love them

[@lynxlubbpeeps]

actually makes me think of Korra and Asami. Like sure they grew together some but especially Korra is nowhere near ready for a serious relationship imo.

[@DavetheCoffeeDrinker]

The Buffy one was absolutely referring to a lesbian couple. Willow and Tara were probably the first non straight couple I saw on TV. That representation was a pretty big deal at that point in time.

[@ttthecat]

That representation was HUGE!!!! And transformative for some of us! 😏

[@TheCRAZYAunt128]

I used to get upset with the media implying that men and women couldn't just be friends, because I have guy friends and I'm not interested in anything more then friendship. Turns out I'm aroace and now my life makes way more sense.

[@tinkeramma]

My husband has this idea that teen friends of different genders spending time together is 100% a date. Our teen daughter just wants to spend time with some of her guy friends.

[@samanthakennedy121]

SAME

[@RevRod92]

One of my wife's colleagues referred to me as her friend to which I responded "I'm her spouse." This lady had deer in the headlights look and then finally said "oh she didn't mention she was married." Even though when my wife introduced me to this coworker she did say "her spouse." Another time this old couple called us sisters. She is my wife and I am not a woman. I was so annoyed, shocked and embarrassed. But my dad has been called my husband and my younger brother my boyfriend. Also my best friend (basically sister) has been called my girlfriend. People really are weird and bad at guessing. Maybe ask instead of guessing.

[@intercat4907]

Skylar, you are right. Why would people assume that a) two same-sex people are siblings and b) two different-sex people are married? What a weird thing to do. Do they just never hang around people? Well, you'll probably get karmic brownie points if you don't yell at clueless people, so hang tough.

[@RevRod92]

@@muskyteerchris Yes

[@Firsona]

If they respond to a gentle correction, I don't mind. People tend to think along lines and don't consider outside them unless someone points it out. Maybe they think asking would be rude, but then come to a situation where they want to refer to your relationship and don't know how. I personally don't ask acquaintances about their relationships unless they bring it up, because I feel like that's none of my business.

[@RevRod92]

@@Firsona I get that and I understand the hetronormativity. But for context I look like my dad's clone and I was 14 at the time. That one in particular was just bizarre and gross.

[@Firsona]

@@RevRod92 That does sound uncomfortable =x In the past I had been referred to as my ex's little sister or daughter. Awkward.

[@pingidjit]

This happens so much in tv shows. 2 women almost directly in each others faces, staring at each other for way longer than 'just friends' would, or even looking the other one up and down, maybe even making a comment on the others looks = majority of the viewers saying how good friends/enemies they are and getting outraged that anyone should ship them or write fanfiction about them. A man and a woman stand 5 feet apart, he makes some lewd comment, she ignores him = majority of viewers OMG they are so hot together I totally ship them! Can't you just feel the chemistry between them.

[@Mike-di1og]

My favorite is with Bill and Frank in The Last of Us (game, not show). They don’t outright say “Bill is gay” but they refer to Frank as his “partner” and there is a non-optional cutscene where Ellie literally finds a gay 🌽 magazine in his house and comments about it at length. Gamer guys often pretend that there’s nothing to suggest he’s gay.

[@LangkeeLongkee]

@@Mike-di1og there are gamers who said they made Ellie gay in part 2 for brownie points upon seeing her kiss Dina in the E3 trailer. As if she wasn't kissing girls since DLC.

[@vincentspierings1893]

The 'He did not gay erase' part was hilarious, you outdid yourself on that one Jamie!

[@jassychanVO]

I was so confused haha

[@thecringequeen31]

Yeah lmao, I need the time stamp so I can clip it.

[@thecringequeen31]

I got it 9:44

[@npflaum]

My Grandfather told me a story once when I was younger. He said he and my Grandmother went to the housewarming party at the new apartment of a lesbian couple he worked with. My gran noticed that there was only one bedroom and confused, asked them why there was only one bed and "Where does the other girl sleep?" while my Grandpa frantically tried to shush her. It was the 1960's and she was still pretty naive.

[@starparodier91]

This subreddit makes me feel a little silly because when I was seven I had a very good friend who told me her mom lived with her best friend and I thought that was super cool. I’d spend entire weekends at her house all the time. I eventually figured it out… years later 😂 Edit: This was in 1998 and not only did we both live in a very nice and conservative area, but we both went to a Catholic school. They weren’t Catholic, but I think her mom’s told her to say that to avoid any issues with the school or other kids. My parents didn’t care at all and when I figured it out, I asked my parents why they didn’t tell me and they said, “you never asked or questioned it”.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Lmao “you never asked” yeah you were 7… did they never teach you other things just cause you never asked? 😅

[@starparodier91]

@@DeathnoteBB Thinking back on it that was my *dad’s* answer, and I’ll have to ask my mom because I’m sure she has a better explanation. She’s the one that would have “the talk” with me and made sure I learned things scientifically.

[@biblioholic7139]

That's just how it was back then. My aunt brought her partner to all the family gatherings and I never realized they were a couple until my mom told me they were breaking up.

[@kayenjee]

As a parent sometimes I intentionally don't explain things because imo it makes them seem "abnormal" like it warrants special attention and needs to be explained.

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@kayenjee But how are your kids supposed to learn things

[@erilassila409]

I'm asexual and non-binary, and so is my partner. My partner visited me when I was at my parents'place for Christmas vacation. During that time my mom was at work and came home a couple times during the visit because her job allows for that. She rang the doorbell when coming into the house, to give us a warning if we were doing something intimate. She kinda hasn't understood that we're ace, so we're never gonna do anything besides kissing and cuddling 😂

[@simavolodina]

bjkadvbka thats misguided but kinda sweet of her

[@willowtabby4926]

I mean, Ace people can be sex-positive and/or have sex drives and/or enjoy sexual intimacy/activities, even without experiencing sexual attraction (said as an Ace person that very much enjoys sexual activities, under the right circumstances). That said, kissing and cuddling can also be incredibly intimate, tender, and private, or you might have been having a sensitive conversation for all she knew. It's also possible that she wanted to use the doorbell as sense of good manners, announce her presence before surprising someone by randomly appearing

[@erilassila409]

@@willowtabby4926 I know but it's still hilarious.

[@willowtabby4926]

@@erilassila409 Haha, yes, I suppose it is amusing

[@Starae336]

NON BINARY DOES NOT EXIST FOOL!!!!!!

[@wombatstho4122]

Okay I'm going to need a sitcom of Enid, Thelma, and their reptilian children

[@lokicooper4690]

Not gonna lie, but that could be an awesome sitcom.

[@sweetnsournugget2609]

We need It to happen

[@KatStrega]

I would watch the shit out of that

[@marshabraswell5681]

That would be a hoot for sure. I’d watch it!

[@beetsbeautifulbeets2553]

Yes, I need this to happen....Feels like a story Edward Gorey would write/draw!

[@aurorafraire2528]

Also when Eleanor Roosevelt was alive she wrote love letters to another woman who was a lesbian and Roosevelt said she wanted to kiss her but couldn't.

[@ttthecat]

Makes me like Eleanor even more! Thanks for that! I'd like learning history about 1st ladies they are almost always more interesting intelligent and powerful people then you might expect.

[@SkullStarsX]

THE "HE DID NOT GAY ERASE" BIT GOT ME IT WAS SO GOOD

[@melissabarrett9750]

Exactly, he said "BF"

[@Astronomicaljeanis]

I WAS NOT PREPARED

[@lucypreece7581]

I dunno why but I have gone to the shop Card Factory in the past especially around Christmas and like in recent years they have started selling cards that like acknowledge same sex couples like "for my daughter and daughter in law" or "to my son and his boyfriend" and it just makes me so freaking happy. As a queer person I would love one of these cards one day.

[@John_Weiss]

20-30 years ago, you would've had to go to a Gay&Lesbian bookstore to find them.

[@lucypreece7581]

@@John_Weiss I know but now they are just there on the high street just on the shelves with all the other greetings cards and nobody is batting an eyelid and honestly the joy it brings me. I always smile so wide like a goofball. Like I am just there trying to figure out whether to get my brother a jokey card or a serious card and then I just stumble upon a card that he could potentially get me and my future partner.

[@theyxaj]

I'm waiting for "congratulations on finding out your gender!", or (adulthood) gender reveal cards to come out.

[@lisaistryingtolive]

​@@John_Weiss damn it. 20-30 years ago this existed. lovely to know how behind my country is

[@EricaGamet]

I can't speak to Rachel and Emma's relationship, but at least it was written as a quote, so that's how they defined their own relationship... not some third party getting it wrong. Also, when I was 19, my best friend and I got our first apartment together and we could only afford a 1BR... but we definitely had separate beds! We had been thrown together as dorm-mates in college and figured if we could share that tiny room together, a 1BR apartment would be like a palace! I guess it worked out okay, since we've been best friends for almost 37 years!

[@DeathnoteBB]

Yeah given it’s a quote, I would be hesitant to assume more than they say about their own relationship

[@febblepebble]

Yeah that's what I was thinking :)

[@arcanelore3791]

Glad I'm not the only one who saw it that way.

[@clayraro]

Just gonna note, not saying this is what happened, but companies can and have definitely censored quotes before.

[@EricaGamet]

@@clayraro Oh for sure! It's doubtful that's what happened here, because they would probably have just chosen another quote... these are the quotes on the wall outside each apartment setup in the stores. Also, it's IKEA and they are really inclusive.

[@MomAmiAndKiddoKelsi]

❤🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️‍🌈 Daily reminder; You are valid and amazing just the way you are! 🏳️‍🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@passionate_possum_pal]

@@loluskekus irrelevant, seeing as this in reference to gay adults in relationships with gay adults

[@passionate_possum_pal]

@@loluskekus No lmao, and you're being something into this that has no relation whatsoever

[@TheWorstestPro]

Thank you my guy, remember that you are valid and amazing too!

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

You are too ❤️🧡💚💙💜🏳️‍🌈

[@Toni-lo9ms]

10:29 Yeah, Willow and Tara were in the middle of very much enjoying being far more than friends AT THE MOMENT OF TARA'S DEATH so that is about as much gay erasure as is humanly possible.

[@fertilizerhappens8359]

I'm glad Jamie pointed out that sometimes they could just be friends. My best friend in high school was not asked out by a guy who was interested, because he thought we were a couple. We never were. This was '87 - '91. I figured out in the past couple years that I'm aro/ace. Always have been. I could easily do sharing a bed with a friend platonically. Gay erasure is real, but so is ace erasure. Accept the relationship as expressed by those living it.

[@Arkylie]

THANK you.

[@UrWeid]

I really don't get is - can't they usually sleep in the same bed with the friend normally without thinking about sex etc if they aren't ace? I don't consider myself an ace but I've slept - without any thoughts about anything sexual - with tons of my friends male and female like just slept in the same bed or room normally during being their guest or some allnighters with anime watching and games etc and I was dating someone else at the time too and it was ok for all of my friends and me. Some of them later said they wanted to date me but didn't dare to tell me though. Do people normally get turned on by just anyone of the whatever sex they feel for? I highly doubt it and don't get why we have such sexualized culture and phrases like "if two people are spending night together in the same room they'll have sex for sure" really irritate me.

[@zabecartowsky4724]

We once had a landlady who thought we had one bed because we couldn't afford two. Wrong! We haven't stopped laughing.

[@GenderlessFridge]

The best part about this is that I'm writing a lesbian fanfic while watching it

[@BeautyMonster1000]

From now on, every Sapphic couple shall be referred to as "Rachel and Emma". 😂

[@ellouisebadger849]

Which one of you is the Rachel and which one of you are the Emma? 😂

[@Arkylie]

Please don't. That example is one of the really questionable ones here, because it is, on the surface, a pair of women describing *themselves* in a way that specifically does not include sex or romance. You don't even know if they might be Ace/Aro -- or two straight women who happen to share a bed because they have no sexual interest in each other, or other configurations where sex/romance isn't part of the picture. I mean it's not great to use people's names that way to begin with, but especially in this case -- it's one thing to laugh at people misinterpreting *other people* but it's not great to tell people they're misinterpreting *themselves* (and if by chance they *are* disguising their true relationship, it might be for good reason, so making it a meme could harm them).

[@scoutlaceharding]

Not only do I hate the thing when adults call literally toddlers boyfriend and girlfriend, I have always been creeped out by the way some people will say a baby or toddler is flirting with an adult. Like, I know what they mean. A little one takes a shine to someone and they're adorable and cute and can seem like they're trying to charm the person. It's cute and sweet....but attaching the word "flirt" to that is a bit icky to me. I feel like it puts this romantic and/or sexual connotation on it in a way that I'm just not comfortable assigning to a two year old.

[@Cascadeis]

Huh, for me the word “flirting” (but in my language) just means the toddler is batting his eyes and smiling at someone (which is adorable). That does not mean he’s hitting on them, just literally flirting… (My youngest just started doing this a few weeks ago, it’s so cute!) Have you considered what meaning you’ve yourself put to the word?

[@intercat4907]

A little late for this response, but your post was excellent. Keep saying it. Louder. The fact that the only other person who answered you BLEW IT OFF is just chilling.

[@erraticonteuse]

The only thing that makes me think Rachel and Emma might just be besties is that Ikea has shown same-gender couples in their marketing since the early '90s. Ikea wouldn't change "girlfriends" to "besties", so either Rachel and Emma self-censored or they really are just roomies dealing with a housing crisis. Especially if they're just out of college or something, it might not seem a big deal to them to share a room.

[@Zill7711]

Back in the 70’s it was perfectly normal to share a room with a friend to save money. I do worry that now every one always thinks sleeping in the same room or even the same bed has to be sex. Sometimes it’s just warmer and cheaper and very comforting.

[@lokicooper4690]

@@Zill7711 I completely agree. I know the sexual revolution was earlier, but it feels like the past 30 years has just been the human race with nothing but sex on the mind. "They slept in the same bed? They must be having sex! No one could platonically sleep in the same bed with someone. It just isn't done!"

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@Zill7711 ​ seriously, it’s just nice to have human contact. Doesn’t have to be sexual

[@Zill7711]

@@DeathnoteBB exactly

[@kimberleemodel7182]

Not saying this is what happened, but storefront advertising is really easy to differentiate by location, and some decisions probably don't go up past the store manager. Like they're for certain gonna have different set ups for say florida vs san francisco.

[@Creature_of_Knight]

Dang, much love to Rachel and Emma for dealing with their oblivious friends and family 🙌

[@Ikajo]

I'm pretty sure the add is phrased that way internationally. Otherwise it is a bit odd

[@PokhrajRoy.]

This whole “…and they were the best of friends…” thing makes me giggle a lot.

[@golwenlothlindel]

10:39 yep, that was the actual description of the episode after Tara died. Tara was Willow's girlfriend. They kissed onscreen. The show was pretty infamous for being very squeamish about the relationship though. They kept being like "well yeah, Willow and Tara dated, but Willow is totally straight actually" (because she had dated men in the past).

[@silverghostcat1924]

Well in that case she'd be bi not straight.

[@catferreira5598]

Given how the producer turned out to be, I'm not surprised. Their relationship was the first time I saw any type of non hetero couple on screen - one that wasn't in secret and general homophobia - and their obvious love was a turning point.

[@John_Weiss]

Bisexuals: Are we a joke to you?!?! On second thought … Don't answer that.

[@kitwillihnganz5972]

I think the best indication that the show was super nervous about having lesbian characters was that it took will Willow, who was already kind of quiet and sweet, and paired her with the most soft-spoken, passive character ever. Like, "Maybe if we make them super quiet, no one will notice they're gay." And then they killed Tara off and I just wanted to smack Joss Whedon in the face.

[@kitwillihnganz5972]

@@silverghostcat1924 I think she described herself as a lesbian on the show. I remember the implication being that she had only dated guys because she hadn't figured out she was gay yet.

[@NickyTannock]

Just friends sleeping together.

[@n0body016]

Exactly!, saving money on extra mattress covers!

[@missnaomi613]

Sharing body heat saves on the heating bill. 🙄

[@tinkeramma]

Hey, orgasms are my friends. Why not people who cause them? 🤣

[@theTastiestNacho]

me during my boyfriend's finals rush, bringing him easy to make food, cooking him a healthy meal, helping him clean his room and take care of himself, literally coming out of his room in just his sweater and underwear after having slept cuddled up with him and the 3 cats we call "our kids" his family: I am so glad he has you as a friend 🥺 ah, women should support women more we are t4t, he updated his ID years ago, they literally take him to his sexology appointments every month, he is starting T this year with their knowledge, he calls me "pretty boy" in front of them all the time his family: ah, such good girl friends, friends who are girls 🥰

[@BOOPBEEP859]

This subreddit never fails to amaze me. Not in a weird way, but like : “Hey Bob, say hi to my girlfriend!” Bob : “Wow, you two must be great-“ *pause* “Bob don’t you fucking dare” Bob : “Friends!”

[@katphish30]

Goddammit, Bob

[@SpAc3B3e]

Freaking Bob

[@BOOPBEEP859]

Hello. I have been stalking my own comment. Thank for replies.

[@EdelweissConfederacy]

Dang it Bob!

[@Zachyshows]

Was this Bob the old CEO of disney? The one who got fired? Cause it checks out

[@jacyevans]

The first time I saw "Troy," when Achilles introduced his ~cousin~ Patroclus, my friend and I both choked. As soon as the movie was over, we looked at each other, yelled "COUSINS!" and burst into hysterical laughter.

[@isacocca3187]

This sub reddit is the perfect depiction of my brain in middle school

[@LeviAckerman096]

That's so accurate lmao "I'm not gay, I swear!" *meanwhile, a few years later*

[@alexhika]

this comment killed me lol so accurate 😆

[@shy2infinity]

Middle school? Try highschool 😅

[@tinkeramma]

I feel like our middle school brains are so confused and overwhelmed by everything that erasure is just trying to make sense of the world you're living in by comparing it to what you know.

[@roar64]

@@tinkeramma That's definitely true

[@alex_blue5802]

This is why I ship any two characters that have a conversation, regardless of gender.

[@carmelr5504]

I gotta say peeps who say "not everything has to be gay" clearly didn't grow up on tumblr, cus I remember seeing a screenshot of any show and being immediately "what if they were gay though" long before I realised I was in the rainbow mafia myself 😂

[@alphi4868]

My wife and I got married on a cruise ship. There was another couple getting married at the same time, gay guys we didn’t know. So after our respective ceremonies in different parts of the ship, they took us off to do pictures on the upper decks. So the two of us in our dresses and these other two guys in tuxes are on the elevator with our photographers, and it stops and these elderly ladies get on. Their faces light up and there like “Double Weddings!! So which one’s your groom?” And I’m like “Neither. I’ve never met them before. I’m married to HER” The look of shear horror on these ladies faces 😂. The quietest elevator ever until they got off

[@j.apenrose7896]

Honestly, I think we really need to just remove all sexualisation from society. Let people be friends, no matter their gender. I remember walking in on a convo my housemates were having the other day about how guys and girls can't hang out as friends. Fun discovery as a panromantic that I can't hang out with anyone

[@j.apenrose7896]

@~*sugarai*~ Ah yes, classic. People need to chill. xD Good luck with settling in to the new school! Coming out can be hard, so I hope you find some awesome supportive friends to make it easier for when you're ready!

[@NoiseDay]

That's a pretty valid point. If men and women can't be friends, are pan people not allowed any friends?

[@j.apenrose7896]

@@NoiseDay according to my housemates' logic, nope! I think some people just don't know about self control

[@thebookgeek3546]

The mortal enemies part is so real

[@pinkclay6704]

i love how Jamie ties everything back to Rachel and Emma, truly iconic

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

oh someone is in the shower, guess ill just WALK IN gonna get a whole padlock system for annoying mothers who dont know what the word "privacy" means.

[@BroomsticksandBonedust]

OH. MY. GODS! THIS!!! Dealt with this issue SOOOOO many times growing up, and not so much as a freaking knock on the door.

[@missnaomi613]

Good lord! I'm a mother of 3 (now grown.) If I knew someone was in the shower, I'd stay the frick out!

[@LoLi-pops-jl8ev]

This whole video just gives off - “ and they were ✨roommates ✨“ vibes

[@DrPsychlops]

I'm a therapist and I just signed up for Pride Counseling. It's been hard to find my own therapist, so I haven't been in therapy of my own for a few years. Here goes nothing!

[@EmilyJane1510]

Have you seen Stanzi’s “dating in the 1800’s” series of shorts on KZbin? They’re amazing. A perfect example of two women being “just friends”

[@lokicooper4690]

By the end of the video I half-expected Jamie to have written a novel about Rachel and Emma. Lol! My bestie and I were roommates in one bedroom for 3 years, we were in separate beds. So, yeah, platonic friends can live together in the same room. 😉 Been besties for the last 43 years.

[@ruri1706]

For the Valentine's bff birds, depends on where that is if it's erasure, like, in Finland Valentine's is literally "Friends' Day", and is a celebration of all sorts of close relationships. It's only fairly recently gotten more towards the romantic kind, but I remember making V-day cards for friends in school (even if I almost never received any ;u;), both girls and boys because romantic feelings were never involved.

[@moonrust_]

My mom did this by accident once. We were in a show with a lesbian couple and she didn’t know. She asked them if they were roommates. She felt very dumb when they told her they were dating. Anyway they’re married now and we’re still friends 😂

[@gariden]

i hear the buffy episode description and know immediately it’s willows dark arc (and yes, it was tara, her girlfriend’s death that sparked it). tara died in such a sad way, too.

[@broken2ster252]

Oh my goodness a few years ago my younger sister (who loves little kids) was playing with our 2 year old cousin and our aunts and grandparents kept making jokes about them dating and calling him a "ladies man" like WE ARE LITERALLY COUSINS One of those same grandparents were telling me how people being queer are "so unnatural" and how "it's just a fad because back in my day nobody was gay"🙄

[@TransGuyShane]

Buffy was my favourite series growing up, literally cried when willow went black hair after Tara got killed. Still get teary eyed when I rewatch it ♡

[@silverghostcat1924]

I'm 67 and I still love Buffy.

[@TransGuyShane]

@@silverghostcat1924 I'm 28 and it's still in my top 3 , I rewatch it atleast once a year lol its like my adhd safety series , I rewatch the once more with feeling musical episode when I'm ill lol I am a buffy nerd and I am not sorry lol I even dressed up as a dead sd high student for Halloween afew years ago lol

[@silverghostcat1924]

@@TransGuyShane Once More With Feeling one of the best episodes ever! I've loved musicals since I was a kid so that episode was definitely one of my favorites.

[@akutheoctopus7584]

Funnily enough I'm facing the opposite in my daily life. I'm a closeted transmasc and my best friend is genderqueer, and we're extremely close friends. Since I'm aromantic and my friend is asexual, dating wouldn't work in the first place. But we have a very strong platonic relationship. Everyone in my family thinks we're lesbians and dating.

[@awaredeshmukh3202]

Yeah me and my best friend are both aspec and arospec and her mom is convinced we're dating and don't trust her enough to tell her :(((

[@einavnesher7423]

As a Buffy fan, yes, Tara was Willow's GF. For like, almost two years at this point. And they're my favorite couple in the show, for many many reasons. And also, Jamie, you should watch Buffy. It's such a good show.

[@scarlettptheoriginal]

My wife and I had been together for twelve years and married for ten, and my sister still called my wife "that girl you've been staying with," as if I was sleeping on her couch until I found a place of my own. (My parents were both fine with calling her my wife, but my sister goes to an ultra-conservative church.) Then finally after ten years of marriage, my sister started calling my wife my "friend". I finally confronted my sister about her decades of homophobia and her response was, "If you were right with Jesus you wouldn't care what anybody said to you." I went no contact after that. Edit: they're called deelyboppers!

[@sailorboatface2162]

In this economy, the shower one almost seems plausible to just be roommates

[@chattintonchatter]

This video feels like such a coincidence. I actually starting writing a story about a lady who by the end of the story she and her wife are living together, but the townspeople call them "friends", as it is set in a different time and they had to hide their relationship. I have always enjoyed people's obliviousness and acceptance that the two people of the same gender who are living together are "best friends", or "cousins", or "sisters", and what have you.

[@KatStrega]

what a great story idea- you should add in their large reptilian children too

[@liannebiggar1557]

My friend and I were roommates for nearly 10 years at various rental apartments before eventually going our separate ways. But legit just platonic roommates. It’s all I can think about when going through all these memes 🤣

[@Eurazba]

The singing part of "he did not gay erase" had me howling

[@Smiley_Fruitcake]

To be fair my best friend and I share a bed nest on the floor when she comes over to visit. She's almost 18 now but thats our tradition and it's easy so we never stopped. A rare moment of Sapho and her friend actually just being friends that sleep in the same bed

[@BlazeNStar]

No, after "Best friend" it changes to "room mate" and stays there forever.

[@TokeTiger]

Rachel and Emma are 100% “just friends” but they are both “secretly” into each other and want to date but neither want to ruin their friendship. But they’re basically dating

[@frozen_fractals]

Ikea lore

[@sirgaykrovos]

Yes!! I love that you uploaded a video today, not just because you're amazing overall but also because it's Trans Visibility Day in Brazil today and idk I just think it's nice

[@sakurazumi6274]

Be being trans in Brazil and didn't knowing tdy was Trans Visibility Day here 😦

[@bekahswanson]

Happy Trans Visibility Day to you guys in Brazil!! I hope you guys have a great day!! ❤

[@PensiveOmen]

Happy trans visibility day! Remember not to do any crimes, we can all see you 🤣

[@Noj4888]

To be fair, kissing and writing poetry on each others arms is the kind of friendship I want cultivated. Our polycule will be confusion, but very cute & comfy ☺️ Also, the episode in question is Buffy Season 6 episode 20. And yes, they were canonically dating/gay. *SPOILERS* They had been dating a whole season, and had several episodes devoted to their relationship (the ups and downs of anyone/any relationship, but with magic added in). They were both witches/learning witchcraft together, added by the experiences of helping the Slayer (Buffy). The antagonist of the 6th season was a human named Warren, who was a tech bro who was dabbling in magic/demons to make something of himself. Fed up with a another failed plan, he gets mad and try’s to just shoot Buffy with a gun. A stray bullet hits Tara, while her and Willow were talking. Next episode starts with Willow doing everything she could to save Tara, but with it being a mortal weapon, she was powerless to save her. She then spends the rest of the episode consuming dark magic into herself becoming the single most powerful witch that has ever lived, all in a grief filled rage to get revenge on Warren for killing the lover of her life. Once she finally found Warren, and literally stripped the skin off of him, killing him. She still consumed with grief, and filled with dark magic, has become dark Willow. Who almost destroys the world in a fit of rage, consumed by the dark magic. Technically their relationship was a little rocky at the time due to a magic addiction Willow had. But, I think she might be a bit more then just friends lmao

[@CJDragonKing7561]

My older cousin is gay and his husband gets called his friend all the time. Hopefully it's different when I get a bf.

[@ceilinh6004]

Yup. Achilles and Patroclus were totally besties. Nothing more to that. For sure.

[@RevRod92]

Hollywood got it right. They were only cousins, not lovers.

[@midnight_blue_moon]

I love that he can't stop going back to Rachel and Emma

[@ghjgme]

This particular one I was reminded of all the times people have had to tell me the "subtle" relationships were relationships. On show where they hint at things, I am dense. No matter the gender, its just same sex ones were more often hinted at instead of overt. I got better at this as I got older, but physical & sexual attraction are still strange concepts to me, and projecting that on others even more so.

[@IneffabLeigh]

The 'he did not gay erase' song killed me dead, ty i've been freed from getting my butt kicked by COVID lol

[@JayeEllis]

The "friends" who were literally joking about having put on clothes, and not getting used to them after having woken up naked in the same bed... That's when Willow's "friend" died.

[@Lerrae1908]

the head flip with "Who is TODD" had me choking ngl

[@bumblebeef952]

The little interjection from Shaaba was absolutely priceless!!! 😂

[@elizabethosgood9549]

As someone who had a "roommate" in a one bedroom with our adopted cats, I can relate. Yes mum, we only have one bed, go to family functions together, and are making plans for our future, but we are "roommates".

[@laughingdragon3567]

I love these videos♡ thanks for being my inspiration for continuing this journey of expression

[@disableddragonborn]

6:39 the way that's phrased bothers my brain, because if they shared a bed, of course they shared an apartment, so I would've listed the apartment first.😂

[@sick_0nick402]

9:52 new meme template discovered

[@ohmyshescute]

Don't apologize for your ramblings, it's adorable! 😘

[@TyphinHoofbun]

Curation: the action or process of selecting, organizing, and looking after the items in a collection or exhibition. "The curation of the exhibition was informed by my experience as an artist." They're talking about decorating their space, which could include curtains, but not necessarily. ^_~

[@amanda-st8zq]

Lol last week I was at work and my female coworker who ALSO HAS A GF asked me how my “friend” was????? My gf of almost 5 years is great thanks 🙃

[@voidallen7030]

Rachel and Emma were the real MVPs of this video 😂

[@BestFriendsWhoLiveTogether]

2:20 My wife (who I have been married to for four years) has Jewish parents, and when inviting my wife to spend Hanukkah with them last year, her father described me as her ‘housemate’

[@charlottesuniverse]

i can’t with willigator 🤣

[@Dino.Nuggetsart]

Alaxander hamilton and john laurans definitely had something. They wrote love letter that had to be censored because of...things

[@michalberanek2783]

Well, let's not completely rule out the existence of polies either. Two dads indeed needn't necessarily mean gay

[@charliesweb7071]

glad you posted bc i had a terf on my tumblr dashboard and needed this

[@peacheswithleeches]

This was exactly the video I needed today! It's been a rough morning here 😣. Thank you!

[@Joey-kd8lj]

On the BFF birdies - perfect if you're aroace/so single that the closest thing that you have to a datemate is a few close friends who you love, but not in a sexual/romantic way. But I know where you were going with that.

[@Thecuxspm]

5 :40 the subreddit is calle r/AchillesAndHisPal

[@wanderingspark]

I looked up Thelma and Enid. Peter was also an alligator. The 2 women, 2 alligators, and crocodile lived in a small cottage in Surrey.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

4:18 This reminds me of that sketch where Kate McKinnon is a Queer Mom and she had an iguana casually at home.

[@DeathnoteBB]

I remember that sketch and trust me, it was NOT casual

[@cathe8282]

The first one is gonna be called boyfriend only after the parents are invited to the actual wedding!

[@thisistheaccountname]

5:35 Oh, Miraculous casually making an appearance here. Nice.

[@hampstersquared]

Deely boppers! The boingily sproingily headband antennae thingies - Rachel and Emma would love them to help express their amazingly zany selves!

[@nihtgengalastnamegoeshere7526]

I mean, to be fair with the two dads thing, it could also be a polyamorous throuple or a bio dad and a marriage dad, so it very legitimately COULD be mum and two dads as much as it could be a gay couple.

[@EllaEllaEh]

My grandma calls my wife my friend. I’ve told her that we are a couple, so I just let it go. She’s almost 90. I hope I have as many of my faculties as she does at her age.

[@IowaTrainGay]

IDK what's changed but the additional reaction editing has me CACKLING!!!!!!!!! You're so amazing and this is just making me laugh uncontrollably!!!!!!

[@IowaTrainGay]

PS: Can we get a full version of "He did not Gay Erase"?????

[@a-mz1000]

I bet Thelma always got her fair share of rations and then some with William in tow

[@TheTeamWildfire]

Some people: "So, my friend Jenna has been living with her girlfriend of 7 years. They're still so sweet, they hold hands in public and even make out sometimes!" "Aw! They're such great girl friends, aren't they?" Also the same people: "So, my 2 year old nephew has exchanged toys with this one girl at the-" "OMG, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!"

[@dovelynight]

i was not expecting a miraculous ladybug meme here at 5:39 😭everywhere i go i see his face

[@squeaktheswan2007]

Day 1 of asking Jamie to wear a potato costume when he says "hey spuds".