Gaslighters Get You to Apologize for Them Gaslighting You! Don't Fall For It!

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In Lisa A. Romano's compelling video, "Gaslighters Get You to Apologize for Them Gaslighting You! Don't Fall For It!," discover the manipulative tactics used by narcissists to control and distort your perception. Gaslighting is a psychological strategy where facts and events are deliberately altered to make victims question their reality. Narcissists employ this insidious technique to dominate and maintain control over their victims, who often serve as a crucial source of narcissistic supply-attention, admiration, and validation.
Romano expertly explains how gaslighters twist reality, fostering confusion and self-doubt in their victims. This manipulation weakens the victim's autonomy, making them more susceptible to further control. Alarmingly, victims often end up apologizing for things they didn't do, reinforcing the narcissist's power.
Learn how to recognize and resist these toxic tactics with Romano's insightful guidance. Empower yourself to break free from the emotional shackles of gaslighting, reclaim your sense of self, and escape the clutches of narcissistic manipulation. Don't let gaslighters control your reality-watch this video to arm yourself with the knowledge to stand strong against their deceit.
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[@eagleeye2300]

My "neighbor" at the Condos where I live and I had gotten into an argument...She ended it by saying "You're going to die alone." This woman is in her SEVENTIES. Weeks later her husband informed me that things would only get better if I apologized to his wife. (And she said that she never said what she'd said.) I informed her via text that if she truly believed she didn't say that, then she was NUTS-- and I told her husband I'd be apologizing to her when hell froze over.

[@lisaaromano1]

this is classic narcissistic/gaslighting...I am so happy for you that you recognized it.

[@eagleeye2300]

​Thank you, ​@@lisaaromano1 And get this-- At the time we'd had the argument and she had said that to me, I had actually texted her husband, told him what she'd said, and informed him that I considered what she said a curse, and that she'd better do something to cancel that, because of the old "What goes around, comes around." It was DOCUMENTED!! At the time that she DID IT!! Unbelievable!! I'm just avoiding her completely, unfortunately for me her husband is the Condo President.

[@eagleeye2300]

I had even texted her husband at the time of the occurrence and told him I considered what she said to be a curse. And that she'd better "cancel" it for her own sake. And I'd brought it up another time to him, (he's the Condo PRESIDENT!) And his response was that it had nothing to do with him. !! She holds the key to his lifestyle, so he has to comply. No one likes me here because I can see what's going on. (They prefer to do their backstabbing without being recognized.)

[@caroleminke6116]

I never take unwarranted blame anymore & put it right back on the shaker! Even when it’s something simple like the ER receptionist not giving me back my insurance card. When I exited the building she came after me & told me that I forgot it. After I turned around to take it, I looked her straight in the eye & told her that she actually forgot to return it to me promptly

[@clarencecalistro169]

Thank you for sharing this information with me, I'm definitely interested I'm dealing with, one now, everything that, u talking, about I see it with this individual.,so thank you very much.

[@brendanthebdog]

I've made friends with dudes who gaslight me! That is an even more bizarre and ambiguous dynamic because it's not romantic. Growing up in the mountains was pretty rough because there weren't that many kids my own age. It felt like any friends were better than none, even if they had poor character and behavior, they were company at the very least. I often heard my dad say "if you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas." Wish he would have been much more direct in explaining people's character when I was a kid. Vague and ambiguous communication didn't help me understand social boundaries.

[@nickf2170]

Gas lighting is an awful "go to" tactic, that narcissists use with impunity. My last boss was a master at this, and it is why I no longer work at that company. No matter what the issue was, whether I had any involvement in it OR NOT, he would publicly state it was my fault in front of everyone I worked with. I was his ready made scape goat, and he used gas lighting to recreate reality, and of course I was always the one at blame. It got so bad, I would literally just get up, and walk out of his office while he was in mid sentence. I had absolutely zero respect for him as a person.

[@aaloha2902]

When I prepared for my divorce I didn’t know the label ‘narcissism’, but I already felt warned to prepare carefully and take my time to make sure everything was covered before filing for divorce. He laughed & ridiculed me about what happened during childbirth, the most vulnerable position a woman can ever be in, manipulated the ‘relationship therapist’ that there was something ‘wrong’ with me and not him and many more red flags. Honestly I’m so glad I followed my intuition and left 2 decades ago, I’m still learning about narcissistic behavior to become verbally more empowered. As an Empath with a TBI in the language area of the brain, many people try to take advantage of me, and I really appreciate how your posts help me learn better strategies to deal with gaslighting & narcissistic behavior. Thank you Lisa 🙏🏼🌺

[@caroleminke6116]

❤

[@gisella1350]

No one knows how bad it is unless you have been there. But, I can tell you at least for me, you are that much stronger and wiser for the rest of your life if you don't give in. These people are bent, and their thinking is twisted. Actions speak louder than words. Leaving with 2 small children was the hardest thing I have ever done. I didn't want my boys to think that was normal. They are adults today, I am proud of them, they have good kind hearts. The mold was broken.

[@NarcNOmore23]

Lisa I have been listening to you for over a year now. I left a marriage with a female covert narcissist of 20 yrs . Have children with her too . Wanted to say I'm just about healed of that trauma and doing the inner work on myself and have been . Thanks to You ,Sam Vaknin ,Richard grannon and many other survivors of the abusive relationships on you tube. Also that mostly everyone I speak to about this subject ,whether they asked about it or we just somehow end up In conversation about it. Don't understand it ,can't fathom it and downplay it. I've met many people, men and women whom I've spoken to about their relationships, That look to me like a narcissisticly abusive relationship based on the account of patterns of behaviors their partner has displayed their whole relationship. Some of whom are so lost in the fog /living subconsciously that they won't even accept the possibility that they are living with a manipulative abuser. I get it though becasue I lived it so long. Anyway to anyone reading this . Dont let others gaslight you or downplay what you are going through or have experienced. Because everyone is throwing around the term Narcissis to muddy the waters and aren't willing to learn what it even is.

[@Mattheus217]

Holy cow I have experienced this more and more lately, where I am told all sorts of things wrong with me, my brain is broken, delusional, or mean things, etc. and then the other person plays the victim and acts like there’s nothing wrong and dumps blame and shame on me. Yes, and the dumping accusations on me from the past, isolating, etc. Then, she says she’s the only one who really cares for me… sick

[@gisella1350]

You know better than that, don't be manipulated by any one. She is using you. "Get Tough Or Give Up" You have choices.

[@JohnSmith-ks5xw]

Nobody can "make you feel" anything. Our internal world is under our control (thoughts, beliefs, and emotions). We reacted unconsciously the first time, and that's okay. Now we know better and WE CHOOSE how we respond.

[@ilonaandlivia]

Yes, writing it down is important, they will deny it and you might not remember what exactly happened. They will lie about it. This way if you doubt yourself just read your notes.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

They loved to say that to me “are you sure you’re okay?” “You are not mentally well”. I never tell them anything anymore. Both narcissists my dad and brother got my mother and i institutionalized into a psyche ward involuntarily against our will using reactive abuse. So i know i am dealing with narcissists

[@cindy7733]

Thank you for your videos. They are so validating. I'm still in the tornado. My car died so I couldn't start the new job I was supposed to start even though the narc in my life has 2 cars. Not allowed to use either of the cars to even go to work a job. The only time I'm allowed to use a car is when I"m doing the narc a favor. If I ever need to do anything for myself, for ex. buy groceries for myself, I have to wait until mrs. narc is in a good mood. One time I ate 4 chick-fil-a sauce packets for dinner because I didn't want to ask to use the car to buy dinner. It wasn't worth the negative energy and anger directed toward me. Talk about living in jail. I document everything. I'm isolated. Been trying to find a job from home so that I can at least start saving money for a car. I'm being controlled and manipulated and put down every single day. I lock myself in my bedroom to avoid the narc all of the time. Praying for a miracle. It's been insane. Health is declining because it's hard to take care of myself in this mess. Sorry for the vent session.

[@bibleblessingsministries2964]

Poor dear. You will succeed. Read the Bible. Trust God. There are losts of loving supportive people for you to meet. This dude is self destructive. You are on the path of recovery, healing and blessing. Lisa is, as she says, "numero uno," hands down the best.

[@chriskahlson]

Highly recommended: informative insights about typical narcissist personality types who are totally void of a “moral compass” unless you have a valid premise for a particular “situationship” your time and efforts will be better spent with absolutely no contact. Also keep in mind if alcohol is involved, which is quite common, it’s serving yet another purpose , so depends on your level and duration of involvement you not only will have an unexpected breakup to contend with when your discarded it may also be compounded with alcohol withdrawal and sex addiction. Notes on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Alcohol Usage Disorder (AUD): NPD and AUD frequently co-exist and can increase the effects of each other. People with a pattern of narcissism often turn to alcohol to reinforce a false sense of grandiosity. People with AUD, also known as alcoholism, can display patterns of narcissism, including self-absorption and an underlying craving for admiration.

[@lesley-annsimpson8507]

I lost my memory in 2012, after 7 years in the relationship. Before that I was stressed in several years. And with my memoryloss came several cognitive complications. I’ve been working deeply with my memory and cognitive challenges since late 2018, where I had no lifeforce left. I’ve become quite strong, but it wasn’t until last Autumn I connected the dots and became aware that it was because of my partners behaviour I suffered from brain troubles, I couldn’t recover from, despite my cognitive, neurologicial, meditation and somatic daily work. I was chocked to learn the truth, and still try to find excuses, although I left him in December.

[@annastone5624]

Thank you Lisa! This dynamic of the abuser being the rescuer..OMG .. it’s amazing anyone escapes that. It’s such a labyrinth! It really helps to hear descriptions of it. Great analogies!! 💖 I always understood that people were maybe abusive, but “couldn’t help it” due to their emotional make up. My BIGGEST discovery and liberation has been to understand, how much abuse is actually very strategic, calculated and deliberate. That one thing has allowed me to break out of codependency. My codependency was entirely based on a belief that I needed to ‘help these people’ Obviously that belief was taught to me as a child by my narcissistic abusers. My main issue has been a false narrative about these abusive people.

[@lisaaromano1]

yes, that is why awakening is so important...and to stop making excuses for such behavior...its real.

[@caroleminke6116]

My narc admitted that he could no longer trigger me & finally disappeared after I went totally gray rock

[@03khood]

I have always thought that I had married a narcissistic gaslighting husband after this video I know he's definitely that.

[@Juke582]

Are you still with him????

[@03khood]

@@Juke582 Unfortunately I am finally strapped. It is very hard to save money. So at this time yes I am.

[@PA-tu1jg]

You’ve saved me so many times Lisa ❤ I’m sorry I took a break watching your content. I’m glad I’m back. I bow to the love and beautiful light that’s absolutely with you. Thank you ❤

[@jasonjones4492]

Thank you for sharing lisa great information!

[@lisaaromano1]

You are so welcome!

[@AA-wc3tw]

This made me think about how long it's been since I apologized to my parents....35 years ago when I was in middle school? I shouldn't have said what I said, but I also was too young and naive to know any better. Otherwise, I never did ANYTHING that warranted an apology. I was (still am) a model daughter by the standards of a normal parent. By the standards of my narcissistic/cult-member parents who get offended/outraged at the most trivial things, I am an utter disappointment and they regret having me. They are the ones who should be apologizing to me.

[@Kelli5555]

Its so challenging to date in 2024. It feels like there is a large number of toxicity. Ill be watching your videos and journaling. Thank you!

[@thevagabond8978]

In some states it’s illegal to record audio without permission. You may want a hidden camera and check your local laws.

[@thecelticgrandma]

Thank you for talking about this!

[@lisaaromano1]

Absolutely...evil exists...so pretending it doesn't only makes things worse...

[@susanparker9877]

One of your best videos Lisa. So much pertinent information, and reminders.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

They love to deny stuff you know they have done

[@lisaraymond6193]

You are such a beautiful soul. You articulate so well. After many decades of trying to understand everything, I have come to the same perspective as you. Validation is so empowering to me. The only down side to watching these videos is that I get vivid childhood flash backs. It is so heinous and disgusting to remember. Thank you and God bless you for the many that you are helping.

[@KerryNeeds]

This happened to me. I had to record conversations and write down everything that was happening because I had no idea and kept forgetting what was happening- carbon monoxide is an excellent example. It was shocking when I realised the little things he was saying to me.

[@user-fb9mb9rq8d]

My mom did this for38 years to me and if u confront her she is cring nd making scene nd silent treatment to me so I ended up apologize her 😢

[@tedbkd1]

Had to tell my parents 45 years after they divorced to stfu and stop criticizing each other. The consequence was mine and my kid's permanent absence from their lives. Sick and tired of stupid victims.

[@north_star_yt]

My mom's gaslighting is dumbfounding but I've finally identified it. When i come to her about a family grievance she will take the focus, put it back on me, deflecting for the person who is always hating on me and she'll say things like "no one thinks that about you....i think you're way too hard on yourself" so this directly places my hurt or pain back onto my shoulders and makes it seem like im imagining all of it and that i just carry around some self inflicted torture! Her gaslighting is in the form of appearing caring and concerned. That's grosser to me than a hateful gaslighter.

[@erikafranco609]

I was raised like this all my life

[@misskennedy4381]

Amunition 💯💯💯

[@jamieleigh807]

Thank you Lisa for the duration of this video i finally feel understood. I’ve just discovered I am pregnant by my narcissistic partner and I’m really feeling so tortured about it. I’m so emotional broken. Can’t speak to anyone I’m losing my mind and I’m so scared. At least I have videos like this for hope sending lots of love and light ❤

[@lisaaromano1]

Every child is a gift no matter the seed. Learn about the truth, use Shutty Shutty, maintain your peace of mind and focus on you and that baby of yours🤗

[@calistramartinez7221]

Love your,insight🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@lisaaromano1]

Thank you!!

[@LeonaPayton]

He was always asking about my relationships etc it was suspicious

[@chriskahlson]

Amazing insights !

[@user-jb3lm1jf4t]

Your sessions are helping me grow Lisa, thank you so much for giving me the knowledge to look within and learn to love and trust myself! I appreciate your time and energy in these sessions! Wow, I have needed this for so long.

[@lisaaromano1]

I am so happy they help🙏

[@drcharlyws]

Thanks, Lisa for explaining things so well. It's helping a ton!

[@lisaaromano1]

Awesome!

[@moonlightstargem1006]

Tjey always talk to each other on how to destroy me and my mom but they don’t have a bond with me or my mom. Suspicious

[@vnrysw6]

My son constantly borrows money from me that never gets repaid. I can't afford to continually give out money that never gets repaid. I always feel guilty if I say no do end up giving in, hoping to get repaid.

[@misskennedy4381]

Hello Lovely Lisa ✨

[@MikeDe-io7mi]

What if the persons or person reads your journal and gets in your phone ? Then your told “no that never happened . “

[@lisaaromano1]

This is intrusive and yes gaslighting...

[@kirsikka3752]

They never admit anything and if they do, they tell it was your fault, because you are so unreliable and it is for your own good and for your relationship. Leave him! No contact. Save your life.

[@eagleeye2300]

@@kirsikka3752 Agree! A truly narcissist person wants the person involved with him (or her) mentally and emotionally disabled so that they don't have the strength to leave... Not out of love. (They do not love, and they'll never love, it's impossible.) They don't want you to leave because they are using your energy, literally, to thrive...And if that ends up disabling you physically, and you are no longer useful, well then, then they will throw you away for being bothersome.

[@glitchy9437]

It started with one asshole but them more joined in for years

[@danaking7483]

This is helpful. Thank you for sharing.

[@lisaaromano1]

So glad!

[@ruthhinch267]

My spouse is a drinker. His cheating is with other drinkers.

[@lisaaromano1]

Ugh, yes alcoholism or binge drinking makes this worse. It’s as evil has controlled them, that’s why they call alcohol spirits. Protect yourself in the power of love, light and good! Invite Source into your life to help guide you through🤗

[@user-jh4kx4cl6n]

Awesome info.

[@lisaaromano1]

Glad it helped.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

Get enough money to leave! Survival will help you leave them ❤

[@Flaminhotmo247]

Thank you!!! 🙌🏾💯🩵🙏🏾

[@moonlightstargem1006]

They control you by conditioning you to accept their abuse or ways of doing things. Notice how life feels like it’s all about the narcissist??

[@infinitemuze]

🎯

[@Spock_Rogers]

Howdy from Florida! 🌴🌞🌸

[@jeanniesaltwaterla8718]

I caught my ex(while I was 8 mos pregnant)in an affair. I followed him to her house during his lunch. When I confronted him, He lied, and said, “what are you talking about, you’re crazy, we are just friends. In fact, I’m going to invite her over for dinner, and we are going to be friends with her.” Several years later when I caught him going to strippers and prostitutes, he said, if it weren’t for you i wouldn’t have to go to strippers and prostitutes, it’s your fault for not obeying the Bible and give me sex when I want it. It’s all your fault.” I finally filed divorce after that, and never looked back.

[@gisella1350]

Liar, liar pants on fire. As for you, GO GIRL, you don't need that.

[@Amylyn..]

So i played a game ... I told him i wasnt happy ... Just to see how long it took for him to use it against me...... 2 months later .. i forgot i told him that lie .... Until he completely told me i am not happy ❤❤❤ wow 8 weeks to spit that out at me😂😂😂😂 🙄 .. i laughed at him and told myself that he is truly a sick person and i got rid of him... Now he stalks me

[@misskennedy4381]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@MariaMartinez-xm4fl]

💙🕊️

[@saturday32]

You talk a lot about narcissistic men You realize women like my ex wife cause a lot of damage as well.

[@chrissemenko628]

Watch more of her videos. She's fair about saying women are too. Cheers. Christi

[@Juke582]

Women are definitely horrible narcs too! We all know this! I have tangled with too many in workplace, at medical, now neighbors too! Evil is everywhere! It’s so sick it’s insane. I am left hating people.

[@gisella1350]

Sad to hear that you have problems. Women can be much worse with spitefulness. At the end of the day, sooner or later bad relationships aren't worth the suffering. I know that it is not easy. No one is picking on you, be your best self. I am female.