"This Is How A Narcissist Is Created!" - Signs You're Dealing With A Covert Narcissist

"This Is How A Narcissist Is Created!" - Signs You're Dealing With A Covert Narcissist | Dr. Ramani

Рет қаралды 177,185

Күн бұрын

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@person4.0 Ай бұрын

Being with a narcissist is like being on a never-ending roller coaster. You gotta hop off, then shut the power down. For good.

@jk9084 28 күн бұрын

So true!

@RightOnTimeCoaching 27 күн бұрын

The fact that they don't care is mind-boggling. Evil to the core.

@Melissa219-p1r 11 күн бұрын

Exactly! Trying to heal :)

@persiamotorman 11 күн бұрын

Yes, I was just bullied (long story) this weekend by my neighbors. After it was over, they left their house and walked right in front of me with smiles on their faces totally indifferent to my suffering. And they were walking next door to visit a friend to talk about me (gossip).

@Melissa219-p1r 11 күн бұрын

@@persiamotorman Are you serious about the neighbors? I have a similar story.... What does the W for the emoji

@persiamotorman 11 күн бұрын

@@Melissa219-p1r I'd like to hear your experience. That kind of indifference is really something!

@mysticgardens-t9q 10 күн бұрын

Donald Trump

@soumyajoseph7429 4 ай бұрын

A lot of people have emotional wounds and childhood traumas that weren't their fault, but healing is *still* their responsibility.

@isotoperesearch11 3 ай бұрын

powerful comment

@bingoandtoto 3 ай бұрын

and the victims from narcissistic parents or narcissistic family will be the prey for other narcissist out of their own hell family. OMG.... It is the vicious circle.

@sbella6719 Ай бұрын

So true! The good news is that today there are so many tools available that weren't available to previous generations. When we take responsibility for our own healing we're no longer victims.

@RightOnTimeCoaching 27 күн бұрын

More of a reason why they should feel other people's pain. They should work on getting therapy so they can stop hurting people.

@AEGelnhausen1120 25 күн бұрын

Amen, we need to ALWAYS take responsibility or WE will repeat the cycle of those that abused us.

@KathySalcedoBeal 4 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani has given me more tools in 5 months of her videos and her book than a lifetime of therapy for depression, anxiety and PTSS.

@rosameijering5161 4 ай бұрын

Yes! It is called wisdom. Not everyone has the wisdom to help

@pollydeegoltche4900 4 ай бұрын

For additional perspectives and spins on this wealth of knowledge try Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon. Equally fascinating and accurate. Sam is extremely high-brow and scholarly and Richard delivers his wisdom in a much more down to Earth fashion.

@treavam5653 3 ай бұрын

Some people have the incredible gift of clarity and accessibility with all the healing virtue without having to use 20 acronyns like CBT. Thankfully!!!

@treavam5653 3 ай бұрын

@@pollydeegoltche4900Thx for the resources!!!

@LOVEISTRUTH300 3 ай бұрын

She's an amazing teacher💖💖💖

@vickibazter3446 4 ай бұрын

"Gaslighting meets future faking. Welcome to narcissism." 🔥 They deny deny deny.

@10ksam 2 ай бұрын

Which book is it? Please tell me.

@laneneal3510 2 ай бұрын

But you can’t. You have to fess up to all their accusations. Bizarre ones!

@AfricanAussie Ай бұрын

@@laneneal3510I always get the brunt of his anger if I refuse to accept his false accusations and won’t apologize for something I did not do

@tammystours5171 3 ай бұрын

I find the biggest sign is a push pull dynamic.. they pull you in so they can ignore you.. as soon as I see this with ANYONE.. I run!

@julieibbotson6193 3 ай бұрын

Yes. The covert-narcissist I know pulls you in by almost inviting you to have a different view to theirs, and as soon as you express that view (even though your view is likely to be the more rational one than their victim mentality fuelled, blame-shifting, drama-fest), they pounce on you.

@sbella6719 3 ай бұрын

Yes!!! It's the push and pull cycle. Now that I know, I absolutely refuse to play that game with anyone!

@laneneal3510 2 ай бұрын

It doesn’t work with me bc I like isolation. If I didn’t work I would have been a hermit. I have many lovely friends and a good family. My mom was a narc and ruled,so no surprise I gravitated to that. So he follows me around poking the bear. I don’t play. Soon he settles and sweeps it under the rug and out comes the love bomber. It’s laughable really. So obvious

@melisentiapheiffer3034 2 ай бұрын

@tammystours5171 This is what happened on the first date with the narcissist in my life. He picked me up one evening and we went to the movies. I was ghosted for two weeks after he gave me his phone number. It should have been the first red flag, but it wasn't because I had never experienced a relationship with a man before him.

@UnicornischesEinhorn 2 ай бұрын

But push and pull dynamics don‘t always indicate narcissism; in fact, narcissists create this cycle intentionally to destabilize others. However, some people having a disorganized attachmentstyle for example. These individuals genuinely suffer, have no bad intentions and dont manipulate. They often go through many relationships in their lives before breaking this pattern. In the process they may break many hearts - including their own - several times.

@rebeccajones8628 4 ай бұрын

It is never enough for them. They want more and more and more. Then they pick you apart.

@Susan-lf2hl 2 ай бұрын

Yes it's never enough nor is it ever good enough!!

@x-2954 3 ай бұрын

Trust your gut. That knot that you always have in the pit of your stomach. The overthinking you have to do about every conversation or interaction. The thinking through how you’re going to have a conversation to get them to notice you or understand you… All of it is not normal. They will tell you that you’re overreacting or dramatic. They will tell you that you’re being overly sensitive… But you’re spot on. Give yourself time to analyze and unpack the turmoil/living hell you lived in, but don’t live in the analyzing . I continued, and still continue, to realize… Oh… So this was all part of the narcissism too… it is so deep and sick that you could spend the rest of your life analyzing and unpacking it. You have to give your thinking some boundaries. I actually had to set a timer and tell myself… OK you get an hour to think about this today and then you’re doing what is on your agenda. Oh… and… make yourself an agenda or list and DO IT …. Sometimes I had to force myself just to brush my teeth and get a shower… But you must stick to some sort of schedule. Forgive yourself for being vulnerable. I couldn’t get over the 23 years I had wasted. I couldn’t stop beating myself up for not being smarter and stronger quicker. I had to remind myself that I was the perfect match. As an only child of older parents, I was younger when they died and I had no family. His family became my family and he knew he had me. I had to remember my intentions were good and decent and God will honor what I did. I wanted to keep the family together and believe that no one could be as evil as his actions were showing me. Make safe changes. You don’t want to make big changes like changing jobs or moving across the country, although there are people that have no choice and have to do this. But make small changes like your hair color. Drive a different way to work. Wear a different style. As much as possible… spoil yourself. Do what you need to make yourself feel pretty or handsome. Order the decadent chocolate cake. Never feel ashamed. I remember that some people treated me like I was that homeless person that they felt sorry for but if they didn’t look it would all go away. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The beautiful part about it is I found out who really does care about me. You don’t have to have a lot of blood relatives to have family. You will find the people that mean the most; There will be loyal friends who you can let yourself be raw with… let it happen. Do no start looking for a relationship! I initially remember feeling as though I had to go out with people to feel desirable and flattered. I was in no way ready to be a partner to anyone until I could tell myself “You still got it girl!” and really believe it. NEVER look back or second guess yourself! It will never get better if you go back. And they will try to get you back. There’s never break up with a narcissist. As long as you allow it, they will continually try to get in touch with you and lead up to begging you to come back. It feels flattering but it is empty and meaningless. My ex-husband who ended up with a very young girl who has emotional and mental problems (I was her mentor in our church) has recently tried to ask me to give him just “one more chance” 5 days after the girl broke up with him. Every single time he did this In the past, The forgive me speech and crying was the same and his behavior was even worse with each time I went back. This is an addiction for you.. not love and addiction is hard to kick. Speaking of addiction… be careful not to pick up any others … pills, alcohol, shopping Train your thoughts. Don’t let the tail wag the dog. When you start to go down that path of negative thoughts and telling yourself life is going to be forever gloom and doom, remember that being apart from this monster is THE BEGINNING of a new life and the pain will lift. You were more alone and in danger with them than away from them. That’s it… buoy…. Ya! Take care of yourself. This healing needs all the healthy habits you can muster. When you’re feeling as though you’re having a strong moment, and you will see a pattern of times that you feel a bit stronger, pre-plan meals so that when you’re feeling really bad all you have to do is get in the refrigerator and heat something up. Put toothpaste on the brush so all you have to do is pick it up. Take melatonin to get rest. Take vitamins/supplements. NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT…. Forever… you are doing this to heal not to get a reaction out of them or try to get them to love you. Keep talking to other survivors and remember that you are just that… A SURVIVOR. There will come a day that you will be helping others. Never feel bad for them. My ex-husband‘s mask has finally come off and he can’t keep the façade up anymore. It is pathetic. My adult children know not to discuss what is going on with him with me and I don’t ask. Don’t ask!!! They will look for every opportunity to tug on your heartstrings. Don’t wallow in thinking they are happy. They are desperately unhappy. They will never be happy and will delight in any weakness they see in you, so again…. ZERO ZILCH CONTACT or GRAY ROCK flat, noncommittal tone with as few words as possible. Count your blessings I remember looking at everybody around me and thinking how happy and lucky everybody else looked. Everybody has stuff going on. Yours is just super big at the moment. So look for blessings . I thanked God for little things that weren’t so little… a job close to home, my frig worked, I didn’t catch a cold from my first grade class (again.. take care of yourself). Some days it seemed ludicrous that there was a blessing, but sometimes the blessings were the things God Prevented from happening. Keep track of your progress. Three years away from my husband, looking back at my journey, I cannot believe how far God has brought me. You will be a new, better version of you if you don’t let the tail wag the dog. Knowledge is power. Read everything you can about this but again… Set boundaries for yourself… don’t stay stuck Boundaries boundaries boundaries I started to realize that I didn’t have boundaries set for myself at all. It was easy for people to tell me the way it was going to be and just assume that it would just be that way without me standing up for myself. Find confidence in putting your needs and emotional health first. You are not being selfish. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com

@fitnesspoint2006 3 ай бұрын

Narcissist term is overused, and i suspect most calling others a narc are too proud to admit that they maybe the narc or too narcissistic to recognize it.

@CarolinaFlorezCoaching 2 ай бұрын

@@fitnesspoint2006 narcissist is also misused to mean someone who cares a lot about themselves or self-centered. Most of that use is not even the same as what's talked about here. But most people who are here are because they had or have a very toxic relationship and are looking for answers. Those people slowly learn how to truly identify a narc.

@fitnesspoint2006 2 ай бұрын

@@CarolinaFlorezCoaching the answer they are likely toxic and a bit narc themselves.

@CarolinaFlorezCoaching 2 ай бұрын

@@fitnesspoint2006 everyone has toxic traits or toxic moments, it doesn't mean they are toxic themselves unless you are talking about someone who easily calls anyone a narc. But saying this as a rule for anyone who ever calls someone narc is dangerous, but that's all I'll say about this.

@fitnesspoint2006 2 ай бұрын

@@CarolinaFlorezCoaching Carl Jung - "we despise in others what we menifest ourselves, the shadow..."

@Jgenx 3 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani saved my life 5 years ago when I did not know what I was dealing with.

@boohere2 2 ай бұрын

Subscribe to her channel

@jasminsunrise 2 ай бұрын

@@boohere2This is his or her choice!

@GwenArlene8181 Ай бұрын

Yes, in MY experience, they even TELL you that they don't care! They really do NOT!

@nicoleswarbrick5754 3 күн бұрын

Excellent!! When they say they don't care - they really don't. For those that do care, cannot understand how anyone could be so cold and my refuse to believe but very important BELIEVE THEM

@karen-xe2jr 16 күн бұрын

The goal of a narcissist is to take absolutely EVERYTHING from you and make you miserable….. anything that brings you joy will be squashed!!!

@GeneoftheWorld 13 күн бұрын

Uh, I think the goal here is not to turn a narcissist into a demonic figure, to try to paint in black and white, but a *realization* they are a boiling cauldron of complex emotions, and realize its beyond your personal capacity to handle and to pass them on to professional help and to shield oneself until the issues are adequately resolved. 🤔

@GeneoftheWorld 13 күн бұрын

mild "PTA" moms beware....

@BDAILY365 11 күн бұрын

I don't know. My narc took some, but also gave me some. My narc was superhot, rich, and smart. Of course, everything else were just crazy liesss. I held back, so my narc eventually discarded me for the last time which I didn't care for anymore. I can manage such personality, so it's not an issue going forward. No need to block, or NC from me. I just limit contact and keep firm boundaries. I know I am positive, kind, caring, and giving, but not easily manipulated. It wasn't all bad, so I don't want to go forward being negative and hateful in my heart/mind.

@persiamotorman 10 күн бұрын

@@karen-xe2jr Particularly the ones who are more exploitive.

@nicoleswarbrick5754 3 күн бұрын

No one can "handle" a narcissist. You may recognize and not fall for their "games" but, it still affects you, if it didn't you WOULD completely remove them because you know you don't deserve their treatment. You can recognize their insults and destructive comments for what they are but that doesn't mean there's no effect. I think it is extremely dangerous to think you can handle a narcissist at least in an intimate relationship. I believe just saying that means you can't handle them and they are still handling you.

@christelleny Ай бұрын

Sometimes the biggest clues are in ourselves. At the beginning, it might be an uneasy feeling or confusion. That weird sense that something is off without being able to put a finger on it. Later, it progresses as the knot in the stomach, silencing ourselves, not doing what we want to keep them happy, avoiding some subjects not to upset them. Doubting ourselves more and more. Finally, it blossoms into unexplained insomnia, nervousness or panic attack (amongst many other things). The signs in ourselves are as important as the red flags we're so desperate to identify but are so easy to miss.

@thompsonlauren1004 2 ай бұрын

There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail . com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........

@melisentiapheiffer3034 2 ай бұрын

@thompsonlauren1004 That narcissistic rage is so damaging to one's self-esteem.

@cellosong 3 ай бұрын

Narcissists often get worse with age and sometimes this leads to violence. Narcissists can become dangerous, especially if deprived of the supply they crave.

@nagatomutsu844 29 күн бұрын

The most common mood a narcissist has is rage. They are constantly angry.

@michaelmiller8455 14 күн бұрын

@@nagatomutsu844You don't know what the hell you're talking about! That is categorically untrue!! How dare you!!! Omg...you're right. I just checked my own narcissist rage comment. Sigh. Geezo beezo. Anyway, how great am I for recognizing that?! Can we discuss how great I am?

@VisibleTimes 12 күн бұрын

A lot of rage and anger and passive-aggressive behavior.

@Checkered_Demon00 11 күн бұрын

Yeah I was thinking that my ex narc was getting better with age because he didn’t blow up over as much as he used to but now I realize while that might be true, the rage fits are 100 times worse!

@Bucephalus84 8 күн бұрын

@Checkered_Demon00 are you a psychiatrist or are you projecting?

@TedC317 Ай бұрын

I needed to hear this today. I am completely exhausted from dealing with family members who are narcissists and BPD. I feel used up and taken advantage of because that is what has happened. Now that I have set in place firm boundaries, I find myself cutoff because they have no use for me now that I am no longer their checkbook and personal punching bag. It just hurts.

@cherylannebarillartist7453 3 ай бұрын

The brief mention of future faking is potent, there could be a whole segment just in this! Part of future faking that is hard to detect is the narcissist is a type of chameleon. They sense how they need to morph to gain your attention and favor. Once we’re looking back to dissect what the heck happened we can more easily see it, but to be able to be aware initially is crucial to be able to trust ourselves again.

@BonnieJean4578 4 ай бұрын

100%! The two that used to be in my life were capable of moments of joy, or "high's" in their life, but it never lasted. The deep contentment that comes with true satisfaction and happiness is something they will never know. Very sad people.

@arielm1112 12 күн бұрын

Oof. Another brilliant video. The combination of a child with a naturally "challenging" temperament + having an abusive and narcissistic parent + constantly receiving rejection and criticism AND over-emphasis on appearance and success, and you've got a full-blown narcissist in the making. I was the punching bag for my very narc family member from childhood into adulthood (over 3 decades) and finally removed myself. Sending so much love to those recovering from narcissistic abuse.

@morganadavies8319 4 ай бұрын

I can really relate when she speaks of narcissist missing human experiences - I naively tried to help my ex husband by connecting with nature by doing activities like Bush walking, etc however he couldn't and would then try to punish me for it seeming to become more toxic. He really couldn't experience the beauty around him

@goodgracious6364 4 ай бұрын

Once, there was literally a small parade coming down the street near my house. I could clearly see the entire performance from my front porch. It was like a high school marching band celebrating it's homecoming week. It was fun for me seeing the kids and hearing the band. They were adorable! I asked the narc (my now ex) to come to the front door to see the school parade. He refused, saying, "I've seen enough parades in my life!". Lord knows that man tried to dim the light on anything that brought a smile to my face!

@bereal6590 4 ай бұрын

Same with my exm miserable sob who made my life hell

@fitnesspoint2006 2 ай бұрын

@@morganadavies8319 neither the marching band examples count as narcissistoc traits, sounds like you guys were trying to force someone todo something they didnt want todo. you guys sound like the narcs trying to use a benign "parade" as an example to prove you are innocent in your interactions with the supposed toxic person.

@kathy-annhart2632 4 ай бұрын

I follow Dr Ramani almost religiously. In almost every interview there's a desire to understand the narcissistic person. I find this fascinating. Thank you Dr Ramani for the work you do to support those of us who have been harmed by narcissistic people.

@sbella6719 3 ай бұрын

I agree. I think it's fascinating because we're fascinated by the dark qualities of narcissism. Spooky but fascinating.

@JulieRohloff 4 ай бұрын

I am a big fan of Dr. Ramani! Thanks for having her on your show!

@CosmicSpaceAdventure 3 ай бұрын

My Mom most likely has HPD with narcissistic tendencies. She was abusive when I was growing up. I stayed away from her as an adult for a long time. She started doing a Course in Miracles due to other problems, started praying a lot. Apparently during every session, God kept telling her she needed to amend things with her oldest daughter. Apparently it got louder and louder for months until she had to come talk to me. She asked me about my experience. I was reluctant to answer at first, but then she explained and was persistent. So we talked about it. She wholly apologized, pledged to treat me better, told me she loved me… I was astounded. I never thought in a million years this would happen. It really was a miracle. Five years later, she’s been consistent. She has to work at it every day, do ACIM in the morning every day. When I’m around I see her go to say something manipulative she would have in the past, then stop herself. She’s done a ton of work trying to heal her own wounds so she can be better. It seemed impossible but I’m so proud of her. I still have a ton of damage to work through, but it’s been a miraculous experience.

@Susan-lf2hl 2 ай бұрын

I think this is unusual for a narcissist to develop insight and you are lucky .

@Rachel-ij2pz Ай бұрын

Bot

@Cupcake44689 Ай бұрын

A unicorn.

@elizabethwalsh7843 Ай бұрын

This is 1 in a trillion. Most narcissists will never acknowledge that they have a problem, seek help or change-- EVER. Because they don’t think there’s anything wrong with them & never will. Get out while you can & go no contact.

@RiverGirl-u8h 6 күн бұрын

Then she never was a narcissist, perhaps borderline personality, they do exhibit narcissistic behavoir but are less rigid and closed, so can recover and heal under the right circumstances.

@juhisadhu2324 4 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani you are Godsend. You've saved so many who had dealt with narcissistics for years without knowing it.m

@rebeccanatal1435 4 ай бұрын

You taught me more in these 16 mins, than I learned in all the years I tried to find a solution for my son's behavior. There is no solution. His dad left and he took that to mean his dad did not love him and he has spent his entire life in destruction mode and I took the brunt of it. Years of therapy, nothing changed. The behaviors only got worse and worse as time went on. The only I reason made it is because my faith in God kept me going, these last four years being the worst of it. As I see it, in his mind, because he was hurt and still hurting he is now entitled to hurt everyone else. Never did he or has he taken any responsibility for the pain he has caused anyone, because no, it wasn't just me. He has hurt many people, animals. I was not the first. I came under attack when school started and I attempted to correct his inappropriate behaviors. How dare I suggest there was another way to look at things. That would mean he was wrong and he is never wrong... he was wronged! It is an extremely dysfunctional mindset and I feel sorry for him, but he is an adult now and is completely responsible for his own choices, including the choice not to do anything to help himself and to blame everyone else instead so I let go and am now remaking my life, at peace. We all get hurt. Our pain does not entitle us to then turn around and intentionally hurt others , destroy property and be habitually lying and making up stories and that is what he does and he has been doing that since the age of four when his dad left. I will always love him, but he is deeply entrenched in "ME" mode and incapable of thinking of anyone else but himself. As a parent that is a really hard thing to accept, but sometimes you just need to hand things over to God and that's where I've placed him.

@tastysidewalk4676 3 ай бұрын

@@rebeccanatal1435 that sounds like sociopathy, not narcissism. Animals? That's how it starts.

@sarojashepherdson-t1k 10 күн бұрын

Omg, this is exactly my experience. It's hard coz it's not a husband or wife you can divorce. This is your child. After listening to Dr Ramani, the only thing that I can do for my health and well-being is limited contact. I cannot go full no contact as I feel that is abandonment.

@the.toxic.phoenix 4 ай бұрын

Yup, that's my nex. New house, he'd be happy a few weeks, then back to look at other houses and being jealous of others. Same with new baby, new car, job promotion etc. It was exhausting. And I'm the same, love the garden birds and insects, he just couldn't get it. He couldn't even get it with cats and dogs.

@hastish6751 4 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani, you're a life saver all over the world. Please keep doing this fabulous job. Be safe and sound.

@dumpmail-xz2qp 4 ай бұрын

when my ex narc friend was withholding even normal conversations and I tried to discuss it one last time with her to give her a chance to explain herself on the situation, I just could see it on her that she didn't care how I felt. She looked rather pleased about what she has been doing and still had the nerve to gaslight me that everything's fine and that she still cares about me... her fake words hit me like mud.

@iamcomanche9184 3 ай бұрын

Don’t waste your time trying to figure out why they are the way they are or when things changed . You will waste your life and suffer deeply while they toy with you. Put firm boundaries stick to them and hold them accountable , cut off conversations when they start the gaslight and they will remove themselves . Byyyyeeeeeee

@mvane6880 15 күн бұрын

Good luck with setting firm boundaries! It informs them to exactly know how to get to you.

@iamcomanche9184 14 күн бұрын

@@mvane6880 it informs you when you remove yourself , But ya you’re definitely right everything you say can be used against you and likely will . Was my experience also

@BootstrapLil Күн бұрын

When the Dr. Imitates narcissist statements , I literally hear him. So blessed I found Dr. Ramini.!!! RIsking unknown for a new wondrous life journey.

@TinaBornemannn 29 күн бұрын

Narcissists are out. Envy, envy, envy. And then hate. And no wonder. Selfhaters will always hate every living thing. Abuse everything they can touch. Children, animals, plants. And if there is nothing living around them, they'll destroy the chairs ... everything that they can breake.

@VisibleTimes 12 күн бұрын

So true 💯

@EvelynSierra-q3i 3 ай бұрын

My husband would treat everyone with respect and dignity, charming, a great hostess, and then would come home and mentally and verbally and financially abuse me she hit it right on point blows my mind

@kaddylady5853 4 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani has saved my life❤

@Michaeljack198 3 ай бұрын

Same here ❤

@cherrycoln 4 ай бұрын

Get out, stay out it's not worth it trust me it's not worth it. They'll affect you far more and eventually ruin your life. That's all a narcissist wants from you, your complete downfall and ruined life.

@vickibazter3446 4 ай бұрын

Excellent content. Helpful.

@BuckleyThompson 4 ай бұрын

@Midwest_tech 3 ай бұрын

You just might be my doppleganger brother. We have almost an identical story

@sbella6719 3 ай бұрын

This is an advertisement! When I see a long comment I always scroll to the end first to see if there's an @ Don't waste my time reading.

@kunal1957 Ай бұрын

That's some great dedication for an Ad @@sbella6719

@LaraRam-sb6ru 4 ай бұрын

God reward you, Andrew, and all here who want to heal, grow and be whole

@sbella6719 3 ай бұрын

13:00 when in a relationship with a covert narcissist trying to 'fix' them, I heard someone on tv talking about people who were troubled say "we have to love them until they can love themselves" I made this my mantra and felt it gave me permission to stay in the fight for him. Big mistake.

@velesakrutik7939 Ай бұрын

The end was unexpected 😅

@letitiasd586 Ай бұрын

Big mistake... Trust me... Been there done that.... Never ever again.. waste of time and energy....

@sbella6719 Ай бұрын

@@letitiasd586 I learned the hard way. 20+ years staying in the fight left me mentally and emotionally battered and bruised. I finally woke up and realized I was never going to win. No contact almost 3 months and counting!!!

@shellodee 13 күн бұрын

Sometimes, despite acting with the best of intentions, the most loving thing you can do for anyone who is holding you responsible for their self worth and emotional regulation, is to say "I am not going to be your enabler anymore, you are responsible for your healing, I believe in your ability to face and take hold of your behaviour and your own well-being. I wish you the courage and resolve to do so" and just walk away. Take back your own, heal in the wake of the experience, forgive yourself, and move on. You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped, and who will not help themselves.

@arielm1112 12 күн бұрын

Their ability to be incredibly bubbly, charming, and generous with support and compliments ONLY when they benefit... it's mind-boggling to see in action. "Calculated and transactional"

@sonofhibbs4425 4 ай бұрын

This was such an excellent overview on the topic. Thank you!

@katrinaasmrr 3 ай бұрын

Today I just realized I am engaged to a narcissist… and now I know why I am physically sick, struggling & depressed. He is devoid of empathy

@TiaStroop 2 ай бұрын

Do not marry this man!

@marymaloney2824 2 ай бұрын

GET OUT ASAP !!!!!

@ibniloveitmushtaq6925 Ай бұрын

If it is just engagement...then what are you waiting for...just away from him

@26theband Ай бұрын

I hope you have left them!!

@person4.0 Ай бұрын

So, what are you going to do now?

@realBeltalowda 5 күн бұрын

The turning the switch off when they go home is so true. Even if they aren’t technically a narcissist and it’s, say, a mental exhaustion, doesn’t matter, it feels the exact same way on the receiving end of this.

@purplefler4579 4 ай бұрын

This is the best video on narcissists so far! Dr.Ramani and you are a great team, looking forward to more of these conversations. I've been educating myself on a narcissism for a year now actively almost every day and this basically sums it all up, well done!

@Totajee79 3 ай бұрын

I love this lady. Such an educator on this subject!

@eaglewindspirit 3 ай бұрын

They are walking unfinished childhood business covered with a one-way hard-shell arrogance appearing strong and mature but they are a trojan horse full of hidden insecurities and hidden tentacles that covertly suck from everyone around them.

@pearldrumgirl 17 күн бұрын

Luvvv Dr. Ramani’s comedic flair when it comes to these topics where personal historical crying has been involved. Soothes and heals; fank youuuu!

@JillCrato 17 күн бұрын

I've always tried to share my sense of awe with narcissists. They didn't want to share my sense of awe about anything.They wanted to take away my sense of awe! I 'm so happy this video taught me the concept of how a narcissist destroys feelings of awe in me! WOW!

@MrRickstopher Ай бұрын

I’ve been watching Dr Ramani for years. She is wildly intelligent and I’ve learned A LOT about NPD from her.

@sannajohanna5579 4 ай бұрын

Trying harder is a trap. Theyytell it also about your workplaces. You see the first days that you‘ve been fooled, the place is a total mess, they hired you to ve a scapegoat - and your family just says: Just try, try harder… do more. Sh-t.

@saliebeesi6593 4 ай бұрын

Thank you so much dr. Ramani. I studied bs psychology ten yrs ago but unfortunately i got sicked, i didn't finished it. Now i understand more what happened in me. I can tell that may father is narcissistic and my sister too.

@sharonthompson672 16 күн бұрын

5:12 Oh. My. Gosh. This! The "awe", not being able to experience the "awe"! It was baffling to me that my sister and her kids were totally not interested in the flocks of hummingbirds coming to her yard, or the new baby foxes playing in the strip of wilderness at the edge of her property.....I shared my binoculars and they could care less! 🤷

@LillyBean-r9y 2 ай бұрын

My mother exhibited a lot of narcissistic behaviors. As a result, my childhood wasn't great, concerning my mother. In my latter 20's I remember asking myself is this the person you want to be? No, I didn't want to be a narcissist. It has taken me nearly 30 years to control that dark side, as I call it. Therapy has helped immensely. It is a conscious effort every single day to overcome those tendencies. By the grace of God it can be done. It is extremely difficult, but the narcissist can step back from those dark proclivities. My opinion. I'm not a therapist.

@fishmanroly7450 2 ай бұрын

Same here one day at a time

@marialuislucasdossantosdac7022 Ай бұрын

Always the Question of Empathy.. the true Narcisists have none.. so you cannot expect them to Build something like that.. you can Pick some ways to react from the Narcisist and to Talk to People.. but a true narcisist will Not Chance.. because they are the "intelligent" predator and the others are the "dumb" Prey.. so like I said, a true Narcisist has no empathy and will never change.. and they like the other Narcisist like themselves.. and will hate every Person with true empathy..

@cynthiawilliams737 22 күн бұрын

I married one & oh the misery they can bring he is never wrong the issues are too many to go into if he dies I will never ever consider marriage again I am so done but I do have to say there were warning signs but I always thought I could help him see the light .....no you can't!!

@sonofhibbs4425 4 ай бұрын

Excellent analogy about the casino and slot machine.

@moscowgadzaka9287 4 ай бұрын

❤❤ 22 ❤❤ CRAZZZZY MAKING NARCS R DEADLY 😢

@kat-75 4 ай бұрын

to humanity in generally causing humans to hate them all plus other humans too

@sharonthompson672 16 күн бұрын

13:30 "It's gaslighting meets future faking." 🤯 That about sums it up!

@lesabrydson2526 4 ай бұрын

Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🙏👑

@OasisJones 8 күн бұрын

2:35 they’re not happy 6:23 wounds 9:16 calculated 10:29 changing

@明宇蔡-k2n 3 ай бұрын

4:02 “at a celebrity event once,many many narcissistic people”😂

@Kirtan-fm5nc 2 ай бұрын

For everyone reading this, finding the banned book called “the hidden herbs” by anette ray should be your top priority

@Technogaming-tv3rp 2 ай бұрын

heard about it before, thanks for sharing!

@AbhayFF143 2 ай бұрын

read it a few days ago, its great

@poonamdwivedi340 2 ай бұрын

started reading it yesterday too

@omshankarg87 2 ай бұрын

that book turned everything around for me

@Pintu_gamer_02 2 ай бұрын

I finished that book 2 weeks ago and I can say that is amazing book. Would also recommend it.

@TinaBornemannn 29 күн бұрын

But God has very good memory. They will not get away with nothing. Hallelujah!

@grisvolonte 3 ай бұрын

She’s so knowledgeable! Sooo good. Lots of great info

@TinaBornemannn 29 күн бұрын

Yep. Calculating. But no human beeing has such s good memory to remember all lies. Eventually they get entirely lost in the labyrinth of their lies. Thank you Dr. Ramani.

@juhisadhu2324 4 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani you've been a life saver..hearing you for over 4 years now..I realized life has become calmer n now I can foresee what's coming so am more prepared to go DEEP..Thank you from the bottom of my heart..I don't even feel lonely reading some of the comments..

@Lemthepoetofficial 2 ай бұрын

I am so sorry imagining this woman at a celebrity event with a lot of narcissists has me rolling on the floor 😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀

@saltandlightofficial 2 ай бұрын

i know Narcissists who are very unsuccessful tbh. just because someone is evil and manipulative, doesnt mean theyre always smart. lol.

@user-hs9qz3dg1l 4 ай бұрын

So, if our whole culture has this casino mentality of, “Just try harder,” blah, blah…is that not facilitating more of this narcissistic behavior that we all abhor? It is really ok to call a spade a spade…call it for what it is! Accountability needs to come back in style, in my opinion.

@BeHealing 3 ай бұрын

I, like him, used to be so interested in why the narcissist is like they are, as someone who grew up in a family who were all narcissists apart from my uncle who went no contact, but then I realised, I don't want to understand them, I just need to know enough about them to spot them so I can stay the hell away from them

@MrTaktic121 4 ай бұрын

I knew she wondered , my empathy felt it absorbing My energy gave her too much 😒

@prairrie 2 күн бұрын

Your never enough , nothing has good enough they are looking for the next bettering , person, and they praise the person they admire, want to be , want .....and more importantly what that person has.

@metoor6036 15 күн бұрын

WOW!!! I am so blessed I’ve been watching your videos!!!! My children say I’m a narcissist, NONE of these connect at all!!!! I’m wondering if my children are narcissistic!!!! My Ex Husband is a narcissist!!!!

@yiddena 3 ай бұрын

I just went through this yesterday. I'm no contact from here on in with that dude!

@laneneal3510 2 ай бұрын

So right. I realized I know who I am. I have all the friends and good family for a reason. Once I told him that I don’t care what he feels he knows, or thinks of me or expects of me. I’m not indulging in this way of life. What he got is that I don’t Care! See, that’s why he’s so upset, I don’t care about the relationship and that’s why he’s right to argue these issues with me. I laughed. He sulked for two days and then lightened up; until the next time. I’m sure he’s building up a whole case against me. But as I told him, he’s pushed me out the door. So nothing will shock me.

@JL-re1rx 3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing all of this(!) I’ve watched many Dr R vids over last several years and I’m still learning new info from her . Many thanks for having her on and for y’all’s synergy - great questions

@IzabelaWaniek-i1x 4 ай бұрын

Brilliantly explained dr Ramani ❤ thank you 🙏

@tatianaa.3694 3 ай бұрын

I don't see society telling anybody to keep trying, in fact is quite the opposite, society nowadays encorage short term relationships, people basically discard others like if they don't matter at all because there's a lot of people to meet online and that's actually very narcissistic, we are living in a narcissistic society nowadays

@user-zp8vk8ei5h 3 ай бұрын

Society encourages you to keep trying through online dating sites. It enables people to have short term relationships by telling them to just meet a new person on the dating sites

@coldshatterhand 2 ай бұрын

Yea its not the age of "anthropos" its the age of narcicissm. Though, capitalism is the problem. The system needs braindead customers who think that they can fill up the void insight them, by buying new/better/bigger things. Climate change is the biggest hint for me. Shitting on the future generations is the most narcisstic thing I can imagine.

@JDavid-gx8rs Ай бұрын

@@user-zp8vk8ei5h lmao, have u been to an online dating site lately, there are probably more narcissistic people there than anywhere else😂😂😂

@the.toxic.phoenix 4 ай бұрын

My nex was apparently an angel child, and his brother was the devil - the brother is the scapegoat and he was a narc. Likewise with me and my brother

@AA-cb7dz Ай бұрын

Controlling reactions, information, and emotions is essential for dealing with narcissists.

@BP021 3 ай бұрын

Damn.... kinda opened my eyes to what I thought i was seeing. 20 years. 😢

@OrKkTeKk 3 ай бұрын

I just left a relationship with a narcissist. The last week has been a Rollercoaster of self doubt and realizations. It's weird how free and trapped I feel leaving that situation. 15 years I put up with it, I saw the trauma that created it watching their mother and always wanted to be the strong person who supported them. You can probably guess how that turned out. Thank you for the videos, they are very validating as I work through the scars of the gaslighting.

@tobyfitzpatrick565 Ай бұрын

These are very valuable sessions!

@ljdrake3053 18 күн бұрын

They know how to behave around others but come home and make their spouse or significant others their punching bag. This is so hard because the general opinion is that they’re great people and you’re the problem and it’s difficult to find a compassionate ear.

@NovaPrincess 4 ай бұрын

I always LOVE your videos with Dr. Ramani. You ask her some very, very interesting questions. With the knowledge you have, you're able to draw out information about narcissistic behaviors/systems with her from a different perspectives better than in other interviews I've seen her do. The full version of this particular interview I have watched multiple times.

@GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp Ай бұрын

Dr Romani and the young gentlemen thank you so much for giving me the tools and the answers about narcissism cuz I grew up in it as well I'm learning you know I'm not a perfect person I did my a lot of mistakes in my past yes but thank you so much for educating me even more narcissism because narcissism is not an easy road to deal with🎉🎉🎉🎉

@lauragreaser3461 3 ай бұрын

Love this woman and her truth telling ❤

@NirupaRishi 4 ай бұрын

This is so true 🙏Thank you Dr. Ramani

@MontanaMystic Ай бұрын

Mine was Dangerous! Refused me Emergency med care (broke kneecap hiking w/him, broke rib & wrist, slipped on ice) just refused. ER doc was pissed

@TJMoolTricia Ай бұрын

They get irritated that you're hurt. My family member, to a tee. Many charming narcissists are also surrounded and buoyed by family and systems, making it harder to see and separate from.

@robineddy1047 2 ай бұрын

It's wrong to say these people are wounded. That guilt shames partners to stay under the illusion that we can fix them, and we can't.

@mymom9466 2 ай бұрын

This is golden info. Thank you

@margot6041 2 ай бұрын

You can receive a core wound as an adult too.

@ValentinBrutusBura 2 ай бұрын

The goal of a Casino is "to spot unusually lucky" people ;) Started on the Mississippi river.

@Julia-xt2pk 4 ай бұрын

Thank you so much, Doctor Romani 🙏✝️❤️

@EStarLee.isfree 3 ай бұрын

I have watched many, many of Dr Ramani’s videos over the years but with this interview I got it!! I kept reverting to kindness and loyalty to my violent covert narcissistic husband of 36 years who now has behavioural frontotemporal dementia! He is even more self centred, nasty and demanding! I have ordered Dr Ramani’s book. Thank you Dr Ramani, you have set me free at last! 🥹☺️

@TheLove1Makes 4 ай бұрын

Good comparison thanks

@MarkAble8 Ай бұрын

Narcissists don't build genuine relationships. They want your attention and your validation, regardless of how empty, toxic or stupid the relationship is.

@jamesmcginn8874 3 ай бұрын

Your 100% correct--just ask my Ex

@alexcaminiti 15 күн бұрын

4:45 I have been digging into this since my 13 year relationship cataclysmically ended in August. One of the things I always said in recent years was that she would never look up from her phone when I said, "wow, look at that sky/landscape/etc" out loud to her and my now 8 year old whenever we were driving somewhere, which is to say whenever I was driving us somewhere. She would never look up, and when I eventually got somewhat annoyed, and then eventually angry, it was eventually made worse by her then saying she has bad hearing (which she does) and that I was just being too sensitive and not understanding of her not being able to hear. Total BS, obviously. My main question is: Narcissism is obviously a spectrum, right? It doesn't make much sense to diagnose someone 2nd hand, but what is the actual point of continuing down this rabbit hole. Am I just not able to come to terms with the fact that I had a child and stayed with someone who was so bad for me and blamed me for everything? Or is there something deeper inside the puzzle box worth digging into to potentially find some kind of answers/closure?

@angiea8022 4 ай бұрын

The "praise" STOPS when you're stuck -- trapped like a rat...

@Liz-z8y Ай бұрын

The narc praises you to hoover you back in when they think you may be seeing through their mask or feeling like leaving the relationship. Then no more praise until the next time they perceive you may be waking up to the abuse. Dr. Ramani is right that otherwise it's all blame. 99% of the time.

@lullanie 8 күн бұрын

It's very common for people who have a good situations going to give themselves most if not all of the credit. Rich people think they are rich solely because they are smart and worked hard. Those in good romantic relationships believe that it's all in the way they manage things with their partner. And parents of successful kids think it was all in how they raised them. But the reality is that there really is a lot of luck involved. You can be a great person but meet the wrong partner who will destroy your life. And you can be a good loving parent but have difficult kids. It's all a combination of elements.