DISQUALIFIED! Your Songwriting Contest Entries: Part 2

[@treyxaviermusic]

My songwriting course is finally HERE: bit.ly/SONGWRITINGCOURSE

[@decendguitars]

I just named my band Disqualified. All our songs are 4:01.

[@treyxaviermusic]

hahaha

[@xxxDAFFYDUCKxxx]

I spit my drink out!

[@davidviera3347]

@@treyxaviermusic I recently found out about the contest...still open no? I finish my song right now :-D

[@Insill]

At least one of your songs must have a voice sample of Trey saying "disqualified".

[@SlyHikari03]

Is there riff salad in them? is there cave melodies?

[@ThePunkRockMBA]

Thank you for spreading the gospel... end riff-ism!

[@treyxaviermusic]

PRMBA approved means I'm doing something right

[@thomasohern5279]

@games guitars and gore I was thinking that lol

[@Tomcat82]

Yeah, nah. Long live the almighty riff!🤘🏻

[@Gazz-BaaZnitch]

The 9 min in song. Totally 100% a cky influenced foreign objects song. It does need to have some chad i Ginsburg level of producing done still. Needs another persons touch but it's my kind of shit

[@ZauTa]

long live riff worship

[@mmrseed]

I am really enjoying these contest critique videos. Nice job

[@treyxaviermusic]

Thank you!

[@mmrseed]

@@treyxaviermusic Please keep an eye out for my submission. It's 7:49 minutes of the most awesome riffs you ever heard. I wrote it last year and it'll totally blow everyone away in this contest. Seriously tho...just discovered your channel and glad I'm did.

[@philarson297]

Damn had a feeling i should have turned up the solo a tad more... And cut some parts in half ...either way thanks for the feedback!

[@belarose6]

I thought it had such a unique structure and is overall a great song. Amp worthy for sure. Can’t wait for Active Arsons next album drop!

[@jg1772]

Good stuff!

[@roscoepcoltrane23]

Good job you did great.

[@kiillabytez]

Maybe quit masking your solos in a sea of reverb? A song that busy doesn't need an ocean of reverb because it just gets lost in the mix.

[@philarson297]

@@kiillabytez roger that

[@1992Apocalypse]

“Do not ever” was probably actually the most interesting one to me. Good stuff all around tho!

[@devonmacpherson3878]

Has an Orthodox vibe to me but much less heavy. Regardless very cool

[@rwt5069]

that kid is going places if he keeps it up. At 16, making a thematic track like that with interesting structure and textures is very impressive.

[@mattiamacchidani1253]

@@rwt5069 🖤

[@brucewayne5047]

Agreed. Dissonance can be difficult to nail, but I don’t think I could have written anything as cool at 16. Definitely keep writing! Something that might help with the solo: learn the harmonic minor (or double harmonic major) scale as they tend to fit darker, more dissonant tonalities a lot better than standard minor or pentatonic scales and allow you to really lean into the dissonance without it just sounding like you’re playing random notes that are unrelated to the underlying chord tones.

[@Soundscapemind]

Got some strong type o negative vibes

[@SP-mf9sh]

This video definitely makes me feel like my songs suck less.thank you for sharing

[@mattiamacchidani1253]

Thanks man for the judging, I know noone probably would listen to that song twice but I appreciate that you understood that my thing was creating a mood and settle a thing more than writing a spotify hit. Regarding the solo, you're right it is just pentatonic 😅 Anyhow, even though I won't win, I loved the fact that you listened to my song. Love ya Trey PS I was right, it's not a genre you would listen to😂😂😂

[@bassist12345]

Dude, that song was honestly awesome. Reminded me a bit of storm corrosion

[@mattiamacchidani1253]

@@bassist12345 shit man hope you're not joking cause this is truly unexpected and makes me really happy!

[@13flaws18]

Sounds good man

[@mattiamacchidani1253]

@@13flaws18 thanks, really🖤

[@SomeJustice19k]

Idk man, I thought it was pretty rad. I like moody music though. It's a song that would fit in on the watchmen or some other Zach Snyder movie. 😂 Props for the vocals too, takes balls to record that and put it out!

[@marcuslangford4679]

Like most of these songs are what I get to when I'm writing a song and then I go "okay, cool. I'll write a top line for that later." And I don't. Imagine thinking the song was finished.

[@drphdmd7064]

Well put, I get that feeling from a lot of this stuff so far, like they couldn't figure out where to go so they just said it's finished.

[@ThatBaritoneGuitarGuy]

4:05 "I should be watching Star Trek: DS9 in my underwear right now!" Not at all surprisingly, that is exactly what I was doing when you uploaded this video. You are a man after my own heart, and i adore you for it.

[@seanvenner1331]

I literally have DS9 on in the background as I'm watching this right now haha, there seems to be a Trekkie metal head community out there

[@ThatBaritoneGuitarGuy]

All I know is I cannot be friends with someone who does not like Star Trek....

[@MrRandsauce]

How can you not like ds9.

[@MrRandsauce]

@@seanvenner1331 google the band "stovokor" klingon metal

[@seanvenner1331]

@@MrRandsauce Dope I'll check em out, I'm working on some Trek themed metal at the moment too, still need a vocalist who can nail those guttural vox though...

[@kociogvint8574]

"You don't know me bro" "I wouldn't go back and hit play on this again, for funzies" What a beautiful moment captured

[@treyxaviermusic]

Don't get disqualified, check out the rules here before you enter: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j2i0g4ZsrtGfjZY and sign up for my songwriting course here: bit.ly/SONGWRITINGRS

[@n1nj4l1nk]

Any chance of links to the featured tracks?

[@coleford4258]

Bro I damn near spit all over my keyboard with that "disrespect your surroundings" moment.

[@ChaosPootato]

It had me wheezing like an old man hahaha

[@SyntheticFuture]

That's pretty disrespectful for your surrounding... how meta of you ;)

[@DennisFranco]

You should just start a series reacting to songs. Your reactions and the comments you make are too good.

[@ManticFilly]

"Do Not Ever" had so much potential and if he had brought the vocals up and a little more of a pallet it would've been great.

[@CoreyAllgood]

> Hears all of the "No top line." > Thinks about lack of vocal talent. Yep. I'm not entering. LOL

[@treyxaviermusic]

Doesn’t have to be you singing, and it doesn’t have to be a vocal

[@rottingcorpse6565]

Collapse is what happens when a guitarist goes unchecked and the ego is getting in the way of the song. You don't need to repeat your sick riff a hundred times and you don't need to take a solo before the first chorus. I agree that the track had a lot of potential.

[@orlock20]

A repeated rift can be good for rhythm, but it should be behind vocals. People are buying drum programs, but not spending money on a lyrics writer and singer from Fiver.

[@cbrindle91]

That particular riff was what, 12 or 16 bars long? And then to repeat it 4(?) times? 64 bars of that long ass riff got old the first time around. That verse though! Fuckin sick. Robb Zombie/Ministry vibes all day!

[@TornSoul062473]

That song Collapse was so close. The verse vocals and riff reminded me of Ministry. Very cool. But, that repeating riff repeats once too many times each time they use it. It breaks up the flow. Solo should have came after a chorus. Something with the word collapse in it would have been nice. I wish they would do a little re-arranging and then re-up it. I'd listen to it.

[@midtown3221]

I love JeffHaamilton's backing track. I spent a little too long awkwardly "whisper-screaming" lyrics and vocals, and doing air-guitar in my room. Just constantly rewinding six, twelve seconds getting the vocals timed right, figuring out what the lyrics should be. it was fun!

[@dis.infectant]

Apparently there's a serious lack of vocalists out there.

[@orlock20]

In Glenn's competition, most of them couldn't sing. Is Fiver that hard to use?

[@kwk-r7x]

Yeah, it's really damn hard to find a singer, I know from years of experience. People rarely try to learn proper singing technique, unless they're already a natural. I don't think that just anyone can become a good singer, but I do believe a lot more people could if we started to think of it more in terms of learning an instrument

[@orlock20]

@@kwk-r7x Lemmy wasn't a good singer and neither was Iggy Pop. They both sang on iconic songs.

[@kwk-r7x]

those are very rare and special cases. Most bad singers don't have that kind of charisma to make it work. And even if you do, it limits so much of what kind of music you can make. Perhaps this hypothetical person doesn't like Lemmy or Iggy Pop. Maybe they listen to bands like Five Finger Death Punch, or Killswitch Engage. That type of music simply wouldn't work with a bad singer.

[@dis.infectant]

So... How's everything going in here? You all good?

[@Jtitor177]

Submitted my song a week ago. Cant wait to see your feedback!

[@auto1nfanticid3]

im not even subbed to this channel but these are gold

[@stevencrippen6609]

This is really insightful. There needs to be more critique style videos around of indie bands about what is good and what is not so good. It can help aspiring songwriters.

[@chargerx150]

I want to hear more Active Arson 🤘

[@rawkinj6609]

People seem to forget , when it comes to songwriting, the importance of GETTING TO THE POINT and then repeating that point with conviction and then getting the fuck outta there! Cheers from Montreal Canada! You rock!

[@cvv6384]

This video makes me feel pretty good.

[@costa7087]

man that last song has a lot of potential, it has pretty sick riffs and nice grooves

[@brianburke808]

12:45 "You gotta drop the drop where the drop goes." is a life philosophy...on a critiqu-ey note, I'm hearing a lot of guitar players and not a lot of songwriters (even setting aside all the submissions that are riffs with no melody), if you catch what I'm throwin'....P.S. P.S. 22:55 is phenomenal advice for 90% of local bands that want to break out.

[@consumer365]

Love the banger you wrote over that track lol. Subscribed!

[@thelonghaul5214]

the song Do Not Ever had a very Faith No More circa the Angel Dust album vibe to me. sounded like it could have easily made onto that album. one of my faves so far. at least it was a song!

[@Mindartcreativity]

I would really love to see if a genius songwriter like Rabea Massaad would have a chance, if he submitted a song under an alias name. It‘s easy to right a good riff or two but to create a song out of these riffs is hard because there are other instruments that need to support, enhance or reduce the riffs to make them feel connected. I think writing these little connections can only be learned once you played and wrote together with other musicians and mixed different ideas into a complete song.

[@LintBisquick]

Hell of a player, riff writer. Genius song writer I'm not sure.

[@tanneryordan]

People are too quick to try to make something "new" by omitting a chorus or changing the cliche song structure. Like okay metal but where is the f*cking song.

[@charlesrocks]

Active Arson has a guitar solo in there and it sounds like a ripper.

[@woodward_alan]

Really enjoyed this! Love hearing your thoughts on all these songs.

[@moonboogien8908]

"Jeffery Hamilton (you will write a song for me)" is gonna blow up, just you wait.

[@pedropessoa2246]

That entry was SOOOO good! Jeff's backing track really got me moving

[@mechanicjamz]

That suicide song you shold report to the police. Lol

[@plaguesofwrath]

Do Not Ever was probably the best song I’ve heard in any of the videos from this series before and after this video

[@stevewallek990]

Seems like any prog song would be disqualified automatically if it doesn't have a verse and chorus. I get not wanting just a bunch of riffs but try telling 2112 by Rush it's not a song because it doesn't have a standard verse and chorus.

[@kalelvigil1510]

Not really, Rush has written better prog rock then 2112. Also, what prog songs do you know that are under 4 minutes?

[@JakkedDog]

Having a non standard structure still requires having a structure. It feels like a lot of people take being non traditional or different as "fuck it just do random shit"

[@Jjmcwashere]

I wish I was able to enter this contest but I’m just now seeing this

[@1VERZHN]

Mine is coming trey. I have to finish some vox mix and "master" hopefully this weekend😎

[@italovid2288]

Slipped in with a entry today! looks like i might have just slipped in aha 199k subs, Cheers Dude, and Rock On!!

[@PC85X]

Phil Arson's song was really cool. Love the old school thrash sound.

[@kiillabytez]

All of these have almost identical riffs. I feel sorry that you went through all of this. It's like they don't care if they win or not and just want to waste everyone's time including mine, and that sucks.

[@dna1710]

Excellent video and contest idea ! Love it

[@scarvello]

Your face on the second song killed me🤣

[@derianefrain5745]

Is this contest global? I'm writing and there's nothing about it on the rules, so i asume is global?, i ask because sometimes that's a little thing that goes under the radar for a lot of contests.

[@barthaande893]

‘Hysteria’ gave me some very old school Kreator vibes.

[@rockleesmile]

Do Not Ever felt like a b-side or transitional track on an old Dillinger album. It just needed some more present, raspy, spoken vocals over it.

[@apoplexiamusic]

my favourite part was the "disrespect your surroundings" bit. That track was pretty cool and sounded great, would've banged with a good vocal!

[@torrw2434]

Love these vids. Especially the live stream critiques. One day I’ll have a song for you...hopefully

[@rebeloz2112]

Collapse had so much potential

[@WIMPY86]

3rd of the way in without a chorus can work lol Mine are everywhere! If there comes a ChORus...

[@nosir5596]

Honestly Do Not Ever while not at all my style was a very well put together piece, like the amount of dissonance in that track while still sounding intentional took actual skill tbh. The ending solo maybe felt out of place but it didn't clash as much to my ears as yours, it had ambience, it was a crafted piece. But yeah at least there were actual songs this time. I feel like folks should keep in mind that where a song might work w/ some added length on an album (and if you vary those riffs up more on the repeats) it's gonna be extra important to trim the fat and not let ideas overstay their welcome when you're writing for a judge who is gonna have to listen to a bunch of contest entries lmao. Same as for a demo track to a label or something where the guy's gotta listen to new songs constantly. 8 repeats instead of 4 and the listener checks out.

[@s0rd3z]

Dude... I was not looking at the screen and I thought the loud creepy laugh in that one track was actually you lol

[@Kitzy]

Your singing over Jeff Hamilton’s track had some serious Jack Black vibes, and I mean that in a good way.

[@treyxaviermusic]

a fliggoodeeeee

[@tbt_jerry9238]

After watching this I've been itching to get an entry in Will submit when ready Good luck to all 💙

[@Soundscapemind]

Hysteria sounds like devo's whip it with metal vocals

[@drpibisback7680]

Got a Black Metal project that I started after this contest began, let alone the song, should probably enter this.

[@EddyDarkNightmare]

I'm thinking of using your reactions to write my lyrics, I admit to be lame and and I can't really write lyrics so......

[@treyxaviermusic]

The only way to get better is to do it a LOT

[@EddyDarkNightmare]

@@treyxaviermusic "I'm trying man, I'm trying really hard" 🤣, jokes aside I'm really trying

[@treyxaviermusic]

Then you're doing the right thing, keep at it forever

[@thisbridgehascables]

Apparently a lot of these musicians haven’t written songs before.. It’s like people who shred and don’t realize that a great skill but wont sell records.

[@geared2cre8]

Some of these tracks have sooo much potential

[@Ars50589]

23:00 YES. The truth has been spoken. It is so hard though. Like, yeah, finally you have written a cool riff or solo and want to play it till your fingers bleed. But the listener has cat videos to check instead of you headbanging to your own stuff for 2 minutes in the intro. The 4 min limit is a great challenge for this reason exactly. I know because I am trying to reduce the timing of my pwn tracks lately.

[@shadoecrossland5457]

Solo @ 20:34 was recorded while the guitarist was stuck in the suez canal and they did what they could ok? The drums on when the levee breaks were recorded the same way. Look it up.

[@Drachenkonig2]

General rule. Intro= no more than 30 seconds. Riffs = no more than 2 bars before a hook or verse/ theme. Just some personal rules that I follow. In it within a minute to win it!

[@doommetalgames666]

Your reaction to that crazy ghost song was priceless. LMAO'd so hard dude.

[@LucienYorg]

Good honest constructive criticism. Great stuff man!

[@whiskeysoul89]

Good singers are in really high demand.

[@drphdmd7064]

Yeah but good singers are hard to find because most of us are insane and up our own asses.

[@orlock20]

@@drphdmd7064 More likely they have jobs singing for $3,000 a gig. Talented song writers are even more in demand since most song writers are like you said, up their own asses.

[@saberreiter8569]

That Song with the laugh in it is kinda the mumble rap of guitar music. I can imagine this as a soundtrack to a scene from an independent art film in black and white

[@ClockworkCreep]

What would it take for an instrumental track to be considered a song? Aren't those "Riff collections" just songs that you don't like, because they are repetitive?

[@fale.cedille]

A recognizable, even obvious, structure van make an instrumental track a song. Changing chord progression but not too much etc

[@addystontuckerray2054]

Listen to Intervals, Polyphia, Cloudkicker, theres structures to those song. There’s melodies, bridges, choruses, etc. just playing 2-3 riffs together doesn’t make it a song.

[@treyxaviermusic]

If you're trying to get something technically classified as a song, do you think it's going to win a songwriting contest

[@ClockworkCreep]

​@@treyxaviermusic Obviously, I don't think those songs should win, because of the reasons expressed above. They are simply not good songs. I am just questioning what classifies as a song and whether it's right t dismiss something, by accusing it to be "not a song", merely because it is not written well...

[@1992Apocalypse]

@@treyxaviermusic actually, I think this would be exactly what I would love to see win. I think anything that follows all the norms of songwriting would not necessarily be the best song, in fact it’d probably be a boring one. I wanna see new ground broken! But in the end my opinion is just that- it’s your comp! Excited to see what wins.

[@DSTrystanJ]

Full version of vacuum cleaner song please

[@MeatCatCheesyBlaster]

this is so fun makes me want to submit something

[@Ghaos]

Just curious, how many entries have you gotten so far?

[@metalinyourhead3604]

The first one was wicked but I feel needs some vocals. Now half bad on its own though. If this were my contest I’d be willing to give him a second chance. But that’s just me.

[@ZitherBeast]

I have a weird, sudden urge to go out and buy a vacuum cleaner, it's so strange. MUST BUY VACUUM CLEANER!!!!

[@oceusMMXII]

That pre-solo and solo section on "Collapse" gave me 100% Type O Negative vibes..

[@SlyHikari03]

For just $1 You too can save the endangered “riff”.

[@christophermcclelland1556]

my favorite ones are the ones where it is seriously apparent the guitarist programmed the drums and it hasn't a clue what drummers actually do.

[@orlock20]

They also don't know how to get on Fiver and find a song writer and vocalist. It seems that metal guitarists want to break the rule of no noodling.

[@mikalo05]

collapse was actually pretty dope

[@dookieeater]

I didn’t have a dad so i appreciate the honesty.

[@dnastudios4925]

What is your definition of the construct of a song? What exactly is your layout that makes a song a song?

[@orlock20]

There are dozens of videos on how to write a song and what each part means.

[@dnastudios4925]

@@orlock20 I'm a musician I know how to write songs. I'm trying to make they point that a song does not have to have 1 certain construct to it. It could have ever part of the song a different riff and it's still a song.

[@MojoStrummer]

​@@dnastudios4925by definition a song has singing or some other kind of vocal delivery. You can be looser and say that instrumental pieces can be songs too, but something about them has to be singable. So some form of melody over top of the accompaniment. That is what the bare minimum for a "songwriting" contest entry should be. 4 minutes of riffs is a piece of music, but that doesn't make it a song.

[@Oilid]

I'm watching "part I" before this video: I'm laughing so hard. DISQUALIFAAAAAID!!!!

[@vin7941]

If you’re part of band that participates and you submit something from a solo project does that count as two separate entries????

[@Grimm3288]

When writing anything at all use all the parts you need and none of the parts you don't.

[@jeffh_77]

My dude! Thanks for the feedback! If you ever want to collab on some tunes about vacuum cleaners, I think we could make something that doesn’t totally suck. Pun slightly intended

[@AaHo0102]

Your track was sick bro! Seems kinda weak he didn't give it a chance since it didn't have vocals. Not everyone can sing/have access to a singer. Does he want you to Joe Sattriani/Steve Vai it and just solo over the riffs?

[@treyxaviermusic]

if you think Satriani and Vai are just "soloing over riffs" I've got some news for you hahaha

[@LexiPixeL_]

Hey man, your track was a banger imo. Can you share a link to that? I'd like to try riffing over it with some vocal ideas.

[@AaHo0102]

@@treyxaviermusic I guess what I was trying to convey is that if the song doesn't have vocals it should be structured more akin to Satch/Vai as opposed to a song like his that is set up for vocals but doesn't have any.

[@rottingcorpse6565]

@@AaHo0102 "set up for vocals but doesnt have any" aka not a complete song. Seems like Trey's criticism was spot on, but yeah the dude's production does sound really good.

[@pismomark4860]

We should all be at home watching DS9 in our comfy clothes...lol

[@alrecks619]

so, if it's instrumental, you better got some lead work throughout, i guess.

[@AidanXavier1]

It's not even that hard. If you can't sing or write lyrics, work out a melody that could sound like lyrics and play that. Boom, a good central lead line

[@alrecks619]

@@AidanXavier1 or perhaps not confident with your recording environment, but this aint production contest so there is that.

[@AidanXavier1]

@@alrecks619 yeah, for sure. Don't need good production to play a guitar line, that's part of why I was thinking of that. Vocals take a lot of work.

[@Jtitor177]

Not true. You just need to be able to write a song that has an actual structure to it. Take the genre post rock for example, mostly instrumentals with little to no leads. Its not the leads that carry a song, but rather the melodies, grooves, beats, and most importantly the flow and song structure that does.

[@rave6577]

Pls show more of these im laughing so fcking hard.

[@treyxaviermusic]

I'll have another one next Monday!

[@bigkid757]

Oh, wait until you hear mine!

[@dominicspizzirri4399]

I submitted my song that I was super proud of but judging by his review of these nope I’m screwed lol

[@tylerbaars1173]

You should go back to the disqualifieds one day just to see if they were still good lol

[@JusTVIDSE]

He looks so captivated by the song 5:10

[@Airsoftkingkody]

Wait he's only doing one more video?!

[@tuckerdawson]

Should be getting my song in soon! Trey do you prefer a SoundCloud link or KZbin link? Or can I do both that way I have a backup? Just wondering before I get to the upload point.

[@treyxaviermusic]

Doesn’t matter to me

[@tuckerdawson]

@@treyxaviermusic awesome. So if I put it on KZbin it Has to be unlisted correct?

[@pistaciciri]

Active Arson riff @ 19:05 sounds a lot like Metallica through the Never.. just flipped the other way. Any one else hear it or is it just me?

[@earthlydescent]

Hey, how do you like the Rode Podmic?

[@Blakes_guitar]

The seated running man was the best part🤣

[@WeAllFloatHere]

Man I'm feeling pretty good about the song I'm finishing up for this.... lol

[@JayFFAFAlesanaES]

I think the solo in Active Arson had an interesting tone. Didn't work too well on the low end of the scale, but nevermind. Also, why do songs need a chorus? Intro, Verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus, outro. Pretty boring! I've written both previously and people these days, especially the progressive scene, prefer a less standard structure in songs.

[@noahortega9908]

You're too kind and too patient. Bless your heart. You're a good man. Come raid my fridge .

[@SuperNortix]

13:16 listens to ERRA

[@Untoldanimations]

16:47 this was badass, really shows how vox can go a long way in completing a song when you have an arrangement like this