Gen Z Doesn’t Know How To Socialize IRL Anymore ...

[@Iliadic]

I DO talk to people and strike up conversations, but every time I try, people look at me like *I'm* the weird one.

[@TaraTara-ld2xb]

Me too!

[@ph4kiew]

As someone who suffered from autism, this hits the spot. Like I'm the weird one for opening up.

[@char6081]

those are the bad apples don’t let them paint us all bad ❤

[@lissylissard]

Same here!

[@PXWantonio]

SAY IT LOUDER.

[@rebecca3647]

As an introvert myself, I am begging people to realize that introversion does not mean you don't want to hang out with people. It means you recharge your energy with alone time or low-energy activity. Everyone needs connections. Humans are social creatures.

[@queenv22]

Exactly! It seems more and more people these days are blaming introversion on their poor social skills and it’s a problem

[@MeJustMe101]

"Everyone needs connections" No we don't.

[@aphmaple2348]

@@MeJustMe101 to be healthy, yeah you do

[@Itz.masonfox]

@@aphmaple2348you’re over exaggerating a POV of life that doesn’t have to be the base to everyone. You can still be healthy and not have “connections.” Don’t spread this POV like it’s the only way to live. I agree to an extent but saying people are unhealthy for not living that lifestyle/opinion is toxic. There are MANY people who live life to themselves having barely anyone for “connections” and are living fine. Vice versa… of which we can also say people who have connections can still be unhealthy in their life. It has nothing to do with connections. It’s about how you’re living your life through your mindset, your living environment, etc. Connections CAN be a factor but that all depends on what we as INDIVIDUALS seek. So can we plz stop belittling and insulting people just bc they’re different.

[@SunnySixStreet]

@@aphmaple2348i‘m all good and i haven’t spoken to someone who wasn’t my parents for months😂

[@Ruinwyn]

The normalisation of just recording people you see and posting it online is so unhealthy. I just saw yesterday someone posting a "funny" video of the view of their hotel room. It was just someone taking their dog for a walk. The dog was cute and carried a toy. When people pointed out that they were really creepy recording people and posting it online. People started jumping to their defence with "there's no expectation of privacy in public place" and "if I saw something weird, I'm going to record it". Again, it was just a regular woman, walking their regular dog, on hotels backyard. Nothing strange, nothing creepy, nothing unusual, except someone decided to record them from upstairs window and post it online without their knowledge.

[@khadi818]

Please continue to call these weirdos out! This behavior is simply unacceptable 🙄

[@shiina29]

“There’s no expectation of privacy” means you can’t stop the people that are there from seeing you in real time. It’s very limited. It doesn’t mean to should expect that someone might record you and post it to the internet for the entire world to see forever.

[@lovelydayspass2121]

Yes! I actually developed extreme social anxiety over the fear of being filmed in public! I was ruthlessly bullied in highschool with people taking pictures of me. It hurts

[@jasperzatch610]

There is no expectation of privacy in public, sorry but that lady was also recorded by most likely a minimum of five other cameras, the only difference is we may not see those footages because it wasnt shared and tagged as weird/funny. Any of the footage could be posted or shared at anytime though. Legally there's nothing wrong with recording your surroundings or sharing it. If people are concerned about being preceived by something digital and not knowing it, theyre gonna have a hard time in the future.

[@Thoka123]

yup I live downtown in the city I live in (small city though compared to other places in the world) and I take my cat out on a walk and since it’s cold where I live she sometimes wears wool sweaters and a lot of people (mostly tourists) don’t even ask for permission for taking photos and videos. A lot of the times I just look up and see a phone recording me and my cat, not just my cat but me as well which I find uncomfortable. So many of these people get offended when I ask them to not record me or at least ask for permission before doing it as if it’s their godgiven right to record me just because I’m out walking a cat in a harness and sweater. Like I get wanting a picture or something but at least ask first. It’s become so uncommon for me to be asked first that I actually thank people when they ask.

[@r.a.l.p.h]

I know the stereotype is that introverts hate small talk, but I actually love SMALL friendly interaction. The hard part is finding people who match my level of desperation, complicated boundaries, unhinged interest, and delusion.

[@volume7478]

exactly

[@kimmyk5859]

Real 😭

[@lesbiangoddess290]

So real honestly

[@orangemc9358]

No one is going to hop through those hoops, even less so a stranger. Maybe you can build a core group that just seem to "get you," maybe, but this is exactly what people mean when they say "work on yourself before getting out there." It doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, it's a universal thing. Self awareness is step 1, which is good. Also, stop thinking of your interests as unhinged. That's a negative word associated with things you enjoy. As long as no one is being harmed in enjoying them, why are they unhinged?

[@jclyntoledo]

​@@orangemc9358Exactly! Like nothing they said would sound attractive to a stranger to want to stop and have an actual convo.

[@ticha3093]

I used to be such a social butterfly. I had no issue talking to new people in real life and online. But I went through really bad experiences in friendships that lowered my confidence and had me closed off to people and not being bothered to make new connections, or to just greet/have a simple chat with someone. I do value my alone time, but I’m really trying to work on gaining that confidence back and not blocking myself from making genuine connections with people, and remember that not everyone out there has bad intentions ☺️

[@wellbuttermybiscuits7]

Literally same for me everything you've said😔

[@NoodlelinniTortelinni]

super relatable

[@Seraphina-b3h]

Same. 😭

[@kirabooker3958]

@@wellbuttermybiscuits7

[@bananarama480]

Y'all who had experience this, I believe in you gaining that courage and confidence back. There are good people out there, I promise, and they are looking forward to meet you. 😊❤

[@RamboQuellz]

I wish people would put their phone down long enough to go outside and realize the world is not as bad and depressing as it seems in your phone! People are still riding bikes, kids are playing at parks, couples are boo'd up on benches, friends are having picnics in the grass! Just look up from your phone!

[@Hooked_on_britney99]

So true before covid it was pretty common in my friend groups to have at least one person who could never put their phone down so I imagine now its probably even worse 🤣🤣

[@j.m251]

The world is completely as bad and depressing as it is on the phone. I mean, everything costs more these days and there’s so much violence. However, can you go out and possibly make a friend and sit under a tree, sure Unfortunately, most hangout things costs money people do not have, but are there opportunities to make good things happen or to have a smile? Yes. The world is incredibly bad. Let’s not act like our phones aren’t just highlighting that.

[@Nana-hr9vl]

You sound jobless

[@RamboQuellz]

@@j.m251 Life is about choices and waking up every day focusing on only the negativity of life is a choice! Finding love, peace, and comfort in the small things to keep yourself and love one's going is also a choice! Maybe where you're from life is terrible but here where I'm at I see a lot more people choosing happiness over chaos.

[@Sismsodmdmd]

@@j.m251there are plenty of things in life you can do for free that are beautiful. Even a small walk through the trees or by a lake, paint some rocks or ride your bike. There will always be bad things in the world and there always have been, but life is worth living for a reason.

[@jimmie8101]

The problem is people automatically deeming you to be "weird" when you try to talk to them.

[@jclyntoledo]

To be fair you probably seem weird to them. Stranger danger is also still a thing. If you're going to approach random strangers you need to be more strategic and think about how you're approaching them and starting the convo. Maybe try giving them a compliment without expectations and gage whether it seems like they want to have a conversation or not 😊.

[@jclyntoledo]

Another suggestion is to get a dog then you'll start getting approached more by ppl.

[@Dobermanmomma]

I agree. I don't think it's necessarily how you approach people they just automatically get judgemental and rude like how could you talk to me. Young people need to learn manners and about reality. They all think they are going to grow up and blow up so they are above everyone, but wait until they see reality when they get older lol.

[@mxar2074]

yes, especially if they're in a group and you're alone, it's scary

[@delirium5381]

It has happened to me, and when I smiled at people too. Maybe I gave creep vibes... I've always had trouble with socializing, but when I tried, people looked angry, confused, or offended. Maybe they noticed something weird, I don't know..

[@bluecheese7447]

The problem is the people are not usually in their desired communities & don't have the means of getting there

[@soredon]

yea this ,_,

[@deepstblu3]

Yes, I want so badly make new connections but the only places I can go rn are the places my mother goes.Turning 18 soon and when I get my license I'm going to be making connections left and right.Untill then you'll never catch me outside.

[@TheWipal]

get new hobbies, be shaped by the people around you idk

[@JellyOnAPancakeAyyyy]

@@deepstblu3saaaame 😂 wish us luck

[@uwu_spetz]

My broke azz can't get a car and I live in the suburbs with family, so this hits deep.

[@ariahernandez4279]

I think a major part of it, at least for me personally, is exhaustion. Like, i'd love to do more in person, host boardgame nights or cute craft themed nights, or go out and do stuff, but like 1) im broke lol and 2) by the end of the day and week I'm so tired i dont have the energy to go out and interact with more people yk

[@uniraffesaur]

In my experience, it’s a combination of this AND the illusion of connection and entertainment that social media and phone content (like games) give us. Since they give you such an easy dopamine hit and often rely on interacting with other users, it becomes a really really easy way to feel like you’re fulfilling those social and entertainment needs in a very low-energy way But it’s super unfulfilling, and you may start feeling depressed if you’re not meeting your social and entertainment needs in a real way sometimes, and it can be a vicious cycle. The depression makes you even more exhausted on top of the normal exhaustion, and you just kind of fold further and further into the phone dopamine hole. Or, at least, that’s what it’s like for me 😬

[@MadamPandaHero]

I really relate to this. I work nights at the hospital, 12hr shifts. I have to work 4 days a week in order to get a decent pay check. My first off day, all I can do is sleep. The next two days I catch up on all the chores. Clean the kitchen, do laundry, buy groceries, etc. I have to actively carve time out to hangout with friends and family. Usually, I only have time to hangout with either my best friend OR my partner's parents. To do this, usually, something doesn't get done like cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn. It's exhausting.

[@veen4481]

Its a hard balance. I used to work a lot 12hr shifts. Ive done flooring and warehouse work. Right now i work 2 jobs 7 days a week. I still help my fiance clean at home and i still after work will hang out with family or friends when im in between the two jobs or off. Not always sometimes i decide to go home and sleep. But im also used to working long hours like 8am to 3am typa hrs. Thats what i delt with in flooring. It depends on the kind of jobs you have too. The working class like labor workers have long hours and little pay, but if we dont do anything to entertain or relax you will get burnt out working and sleeping with no play or relax. Relaxing is the hardest and sometimes you dont get any rest but that social interaction can keep you sane​@MadamPandaHero

[@veen4481]

​@@MadamPandaHeroim not gonna lie I still break down and feel tired but then I remember I'm young and I won't want to do this later so I better find good skills now that will always have my back I'll always have a way to support myself if I build my different skill sets

[@P3rrineLover]

You WOULD have the energy if you had nothing else to do. Like, now you can take your magic device and in a few clixks you’re getting entertained. If you didn’t have thr phone or wifi you’d much rather spend that time with your friends than doing chores or whatever.

[@TaraTara-ld2xb]

I am very introverted, but I occasionally try to talk to people and they just ignore me. Funnily enough, the people who talk to me first throughout my life, have also been people who would listen to me. There doesn't seem to be anyone like that anymore. 😔😔😔

[@fallenpieces7]

I had this same thing happen growing up. For awhile I could only make friends with people that approached me first bc any time I had tried with other people, they blew me off or ignored me. I’m less shy and quiet now but I still don’t go out of my way to ask people to hang out. I’m fine now spending more time with just family bc friends are hard to find/keep up with most of the time. Friends will get bored when you’re broke and can’t hang out or they’ll find someone else to be close to so I don’t take it as personal anymore

[@TaraTara-ld2xb]

@@fallenpieces7 I don't have family. They're all dead. I'm literally alone.

[@fallenpieces7]

@@TaraTara-ld2xb I’m sorry to hear that!

[@meli-cruz]

How about we talk, anything that makes you smile now and again?

[@bangtanluver]

I don’t see how being socially anxious is a trend… I’ve been this way my entire life

[@werrutkyupnext]

Same

[@keeysOST]

Yeah I've had it since I was in 3rd grade

[@alessadolan5718]

i had social anxiety since i was 12, i got bullied and that's also the reason why social anxiety is still haunting me these days. but i do not let my social anxiety win, i do what ever i want, i talk to people, i walk in public, i talk to strangers online... because life is more than social anxiety. don't let it hold you back from doing things

[@nina-cm3bc]

same lol

[@cirpura7430]

I'd say it's a trend not in a 'everyones anxious so I'll be', but in a way, which is that it's just really usual. I believe tik tok and quarantine are the reasons for that. Of course some people are naturally anxious, but for others these two were the reason

[@aaliyahst]

I tried my best as a cashier, but it was so exhausting when I have the smile and converse with 10-20 people in a row within 1 hour during a rush and they weren’t good at giving us our breaks

[@goodgrieficarus1217]

Same, sometimes I get so busy or frazzled that I forget to say simple things like “hi.” It’s so exhausting because I could say hi to every customer in line, then accidentally forget to say hi to another single customer because my brain’s moving so fast, and then get yelled at as if I don’t usually say hi to customers. I don’t think a lot of customers realize that we see so many customers in one shift. Not every interaction will be the exact same, and they definitely won’t be perfect.

[@aaliyahst]

@@goodgrieficarus1217 exactlyyyy

[@donnyv4750]

For real. I try at minimum great everyone but some days I'm just tired and may forget to say hi.

[@bischnou]

Being a cashier is overwhelming at times. If a cashier doesn’t greet me, then I greet them. The customer can also take some responsibility to be friendly imo.

[@JosieBean.]

I also did this but you know I am getting paid so I have to smile.

[@toriholmes1923]

It's so hard in this generation because no one wants to make an effort

[@jaughnekow]

And because we don't trust each other

[@lilipad5514]

Yes. No one wants to make an effort and everyone looks at eachother like they have 3 heads and shit their pants 💀 no one makes themselves approachable but that’s also because we mirror what we are seeing from other people

[@jclyntoledo]

This! Ppl don't want to make the effort, they want the relationships that require time and effort but don't want to put in the work.

[@digitalcamaro9708]

I walked up to a guy smoking a cigar today at a car show, and we hit it off immediately and introduced me to his friend. He ended up being the general manager of the McLaren dealership, and after a little back and forth he handed me a cigar (I'm 24 but enjoy them regularly) and then his personal phone number. You just gotta go out of your way sometimes. To your point, I struck up conversations with a few other people my age today, around a *common* interest, and they acted like I was an alien.

[@lilipad5514]

@@digitalcamaro9708 yes exactly. Even when you make the effort people your (well my age) look at you crazy. And it’s so bizarre because humans are social creatures

[@xsmileyx4037]

I talk to people in real life. Especially with me being in college, it's harder to make friends since people already have their own "groups", which kinda sucks. I'm in clubs and activities around college, although I'm really shy, I still branch out and talk to people and it still fails. I'm in therapy but I think it's the sense of being exhausted. I'm working, in college, and focusing on my family. Who has the time? seems so draining.

[@deborahanth3672]

girl same. i'm a freshman in college and i wouldn't even say i'm shy or introverted! people just don't want to talk anymore lol

[@Winner01562]

lol I’m in college it gets better

[@xsmileyx4037]

@@Winner01562 I know I know, just speaking 😭

[@xsmileyx4037]

@@deborahanth3672 I feel ya!!

[@I.am.progress]

Same.

[@nicolesherman8974]

What ever happened to hello, how are you, my name is? What happened to that??

[@sparkymularkey6970]

What are you, some kind of freak?? 😝

[@jclyntoledo]

You can still do that but approaching random ppl is risky bc a lot of those ppl don't want to be approached and if they do engage in convo you end up carrying the whole conversation and then never see them again.

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

@@jclyntoledoHow is that “risky”. What exactly are you risking? Someone not responding is not that big of a deal. Risk involves danger, danger isn’t someone talking to you.

[@JustWordsAndOpinions]

Because everyone say they hate small talk and the "getting to know you" stages and to say what you want off rip. When it happens, it's "what happened to hi, how are ya?" Wtf do people want exactly because clearly, nothing is enough for these new weirdos.

[@jclyntoledo]

@@pisceanbeauty2503 I mean I was writing this to appeal to everyone of every gender and also to take into consideration that it's going to be a different experience for people that are in the City versus people that are in Suburban areas ( not including rural because you aren't near neighbors to begin with). The risk can definitely vary and sure it can just be something like you trying to engage in conversation and the person not acknowledging you and walking away but it could also be other stuff as well. If you really think the worst thing is that the person is just not going to acknowledge you and not talk to you then maybe you don't live in the city. Even for people who are just casually walking around that get approached by other random people it can be risky to engage in conversations. I mean do I really have to state all the reasons or can you just take 5 minutes to think about it?

[@furiousdestroyah9999]

"Just go outside and talk with people" *goes outside* *talks with people* *nobody wants you around* *you keep trying* *people still don't want you around* Back home it is then 😂

[@justacoginthefkery]

This. When covid calmed, I went out & would try to strike up random social interactions out & about to get some basic socialization. No different than what I did all the yrs before. Was not recieved well at all & had me in a state like "wtf are ppl on now?" Crazy looks, passive or even openly aggressive behavior, snobbery. It's a totally different social atmosphere now.

[@yumeaisaka1854]

​@justacoginthefkery So true, I really do wonder if there is a solution to all this craziness cuz it all seems to far gone, at least where I live. Best of luck to you and hope you find some good, like-minded individuals.

[@yumeaisaka1854]

Deadass 💯

[@angeloalvarez5520]

My neighbors are very friendly

[@jackieade6599]

I get it😮🤣!

[@bobpasta9600]

I’m literally autistic but was consistently told I had great social skills in high school because I would greet and talk to everyone…

[@Ghost3d_]

I'm on the other side of the scale,I literally want to yap, but I can't,it's like my head is empty when I try,no thoughts kind of thing- Why has it turned into venting. (Sorry,lol.)

[@bobpasta9600]

@@Ghost3d_ no, go ahead! I feel like that with my special interests. They are all I want to talk about but I can’t find the words to talk about them.

[@keroroguns0867]

I mean this is so big, I mean I know plenty of shy people (me) that have been adopted by more outgoing people, some shy people don’t wanna talk at all, but most want at least some human connection

[@balknbarbie]

@@Ghost3d_probably because we were judged constantly about anything we said when we were kids

[@lost_in_the_forrest]

The connection between the quarantine lockdowns, mixed with the rise of asocial and antisocial tendencies (from simply not wanting to interact to lashing out in very mean ways), the loneliness epidemic, the continual loss of third places and decrease in people feeling connected through community and the overall worsening of everyone’s mental health is simultaneously really interesting and very saddening. This whole situation feels kind of like a messed up social experiment that we have all been forced to take part in and have been living the consequences of for awhile. On a more personal note, over the past year I’ve really noticed how interacting more with my close family and my closest friend has had a noticeable positive impact on my mental health now that I finally feel ready to be out in the world and connect with others after years of isolating myself. I hope to continue that even as the weather gets colder. I also hope that others like me are seeing progress in their own personal journeys and that in the long run our experiences over the past several years will lead to us becoming more community oriented and creating more third places for ourselves.

[@rodemates]

I found in my old friend group in my 20s that people wanted to be invited to stuff but never wanted to plan/host anything themselves. I kept friends who reciprocated effort.

[@melissab3217]

We all claim to want community, but so few of us put in the effort to be vulnerable and help build one.

[@visualsno]

This is why I put an active effort into talking to strangers. Met my bf irl bc I went to a concert alone! We ended up being next to each other in line, and I usually make an effort to speak to people I line up with. It can be natural and easy, I know it sounds hard, and I've been through a HELL OF A LOT (and I'm autistic), so trust me I know, but you really do need to put yourself out there. Learn about yourself and curate your experience to reflect that.

[@Hooked_on_britney99]

I feel like safety is also such a big concern now, unfortunately you have to always be on guard with strangers.. maybe thats a fear I have more intensely than others though 🤣🤣🤣

[@taylorstep8135]

Especially for women because men think you're flirting with them and sometimes become creeps

[@bootlegshakira]

i think social media is also partially the cause for this. Would you say more bad things happen in the world right now than they used to? No, i dont think so. But with the way social media and our algorithms are designed recommend terrible stories and encourage sensationalism in the average person. Thats not to say bad things dont happen of course - tehy absolutely do and its good to be aware of them - but sometimes, peoples worries can be taken too far and negatively impact their lives. For example, a lot of young kids arent allowed to play outside anymore because their parents had the "stranger danger" mentality hammered into them. This negatively impacts the kids' abillity to socialize, but not much is done about it.

[@ia490]

Yeah this is what I think too lol. I'm a working adult now and my mom still tells me not to talk to strangers when I go out

[@adettessubs444]

I think it's more about social media making us paranoid about people

[@aniayam4611]

@@bootlegshakiraI love this perspective wow

[@Xile179]

I see too many people on the internet bragging about not having friends, never going out, always staying inside, and being happy about it. Like bruh its not a flex 😂

[@V6HAVOC]

I mean being content in solitude is kind of a flex lol. Its better than these people complaining about being lonely and having no friends while putting zero effort into making some

[@IamBrixTM]

Eh if they’re happy and content then it is.

[@Xile179]

@@V6HAVOC i understand that there are people dont mind that life style. But its people who act like they are superior for it and better than those who have friends and like to be social

[@V6HAVOC]

@@Xile179 alright

[@flameengo4898]

Strangerification has really stopped me from making friends in real life. Your parents raise you to be afraid, and sometimes rightfully so for one reason or another. But, now that I’m grown, I am scared to talk to strangers and I don’t want people to know about my life, neighbors included. People say find clubs (like a hobby) near you, but there is NONE for at least an hour out. I live in the country, but I grew up in a very big city, but then the problem is the people in the clubs because of the nature of the city. Maybe if I ever felt connected to a physical community, but I have never ever felt a sense of safe community in the city nor out here in the country.

[@Samthebluestblue]

There is a saying i say multiple times. “The difference between introverts and extroverts is where they feel their battery charged, introverts charge by being alone and extroverts charge by being with people. What happened to me is that I was in the charger for so long without emptying my battery, that ruined mine” I really know i have big issue connecting with people but now it got more and more difficult because my battery is ruined due to the pandemic (and i was unemployed) i hope we can change our battery to a new one

[@stephen_dmg2003]

honestly, i got tired of constantly spending all my money to be around people and places i genuinely did not care for. i realized a while back that i had a lot of friends i had never been sober around, i had a lot of friends who wouldn't even come unless they knew there would be substance or something to gain for themselves out of the social interaction. i just got tired of being taken advantage of by people who call me their friend

[@bt2598]

Bingo! I always thought it was weird that people needed to drink to have fun. Then I took a look at my social group and all our hanging outs were centered around drinking and alcohol. It was exhaudtingb

[@erinlucombe8968]

I just can't afford to socialize. Living in NYC as soon as you step outside you spend $50 :/ most fun social things cost money and we all live with roommates.

[@Madchris8828]

We as a group of people should work on changing that at some point. Maybe working on bringing free or low cost events back. They used to be a normal thing in this country!

[@kaleb7636]

@@Madchris8828 As long as the internet exists, third spaces wont be encouraged

[@Madchris8828]

@@kaleb7636 probably right

[@Kjstyles4317]

@@erinlucombe8968 REAL, going out in NYC alone takes money

[@GabrielleAr-p3e]

There's so much free stuff to do in new york especially in brooklym I can go to the park mueseums for free plus there's cool sightings in ny

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

As a neurodivergent person and introvert, it is hard to make friends even when you go out and try to socialize. There are so many social rules that you are trying to follow like interjecting into conversations without feeling you are intruding on someone’s conversation. There is also that feeling like everyone has their niche and the insecurity of thinking you don’t belong in it. Sometimes, you need the extroverted person to actually show there is someone interested in talking to you. Also, I have seen reddit posts “why don’t people want to hang out with me” and the answers are always, stop being inside and go l it. Talk to that person.” Like we do. It is a two way street. You can’t be the only one putting in the work. We need the direct “hey want to hang out sometime”. We can’t read your minds. It hurts when a group of people that you think are involved with invite each other to things and leave you out of it. It is exhausting and these are a fee more reasons why people are lonely even when they try to socialize.

[@bluegreen9799]

That last point really hit. I had a whole group of friends who only thought of inviting me out when it was their birthday. Otherwise they just didn’t really consider seeing me and I was aways the one reaching out and checking in on them. I was the main one speaking in the group chat. It got lonely and embarrassing so I just gave up. One of them asked why I leaved the group chat and tried to get me back but all I could really say was that I had nothing to add. I was exhausted and I’ve been going through things. Now I just stay to myself. I’m literally burnt out.

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

@ oh that sucks. I am sorry you had to go through that. Hope it gets better.

[@HectorH-M]

I'm 25 and I barely socialize, because I just cannot connect with people. I barely talk to my family because I'm socially awkward and find it difficult to express myself freely. Unfortunately, i have to be more sociable if I want to do a PhD, and the idea is terrifying. I love being alone and not engaging with people.

[@average-l4p]

I'm the same way

[@loveylunaa]

I relate to this so much.

[@_ayannaxo]

Same

[@luckyxxxxk]

You need to go to therapy bc if you cnt even be yourself around your family? Something happened in childhood that made you become reserved and afraid to express yourself in a supposedly safe environment and that bled out to your life outside of it. My cousin is going through the same thing. Wants to be a therapist but never talks to anyone, stays in her room 24/7, and took online classes. Like? You do knw that you have to talk to ppl if you wanna be a therapist, right?? 😂 but I know how they grew up so I understand why they wanted to be in their room 24/7 etc. but now they are in therapy and working on themselves. So keep trying to put yourself out there. I’m an actual introvert (bc ppl dnt really knw what that is) who is an only child I great at socializing. But this is bc my mother forced me to speak as a child and put me in dance, cheer, and anything in between. In her words she didn’t want a weird awkward child 😂 (I was a selective mute as a toddler) dnt worry she specializes in early childhood education so she knew what she was doing and it worked! I have a kind face so out in public strangers constantly talk to me, thought it was normal until multiple ppl told me it isn’t 😂 but bc my mom forced me to speak as a child and I was constantly on a stage l, im great at small talk and being engaging in a conversation even if I dnt care. I just want ppl to feel heard bc maybe they needed to get something off their chest so I dnt mind. And if your fear rejection, start telling yourself the worse they can say is no and practices how you respond to that response. I thinks that’s a lot of ppls fear when trying to connect with ppl. When ppl have a negative response to me idc bc idk you why do I care what you think of me 😂 if you dnt want to answer my question or talk I’ll find someone else that will. I dnt hurt my feelings any (l have high self esteem so that really helps with all of this. So work on your self esteem to help you with this) Most of the time you’ll only meet these ppl once so it’s okay to make a fool of yourself who cares! You’re never gonna see them again. I always remember to laugh at yourself too! I’m accident prone and fall a lot. I took a nasty fall somewhere 😂 my first response was did yall see that, I hit the ground hard! Bc I knew everyone was looking and instead of getting embarrassed I made it a joke 😂 bc I find things I do funny 😂bc I personally believe I’m an awesome time! And when you have that mindset talk to ppl isn’t scary. If they dnt wanna talk it’s their loss bc they missed out on talking to an awesome person you! Thank my mom everyday for filling me with confidence everyday bc if she didn’t I probably would’ve been in my room constantly playing the sims. So ima fill you with some confidence so you can go out there and converse with ppl! Start out small with self affirmations like “I’m awesome, a good communicator, who wouldn’t want to be in my presence” etc. then try to just say high to a stranger, dnt be afraid to ask for help. Dnt be afraid to go places by yourself. I personally go to concerts by myself often and I met many of my adult friends at those concerts bc we happen to be standing next to each and stuck ups conversation. Take yourself out on dates. Learn who you are. Once you have a good sense of self it’s easier to talk to other ppl. you knw who you are so what they perceive of you won’t bother you bc who cares what they think you’re awesome remember. The only downside is once you started knowing who you are and building that confidence, you’re gonna to realize real quick who’s there for you and who isn’t. Ppl will be jealous of this new found confidence bc you were their awkward lame friend and that’s the only purpose you served. But that just goes to show they were never your friend in the first place! Remember this is coming from someone who is an only child and loves being alone and is also an INFJ personality type! Like I am content all by myself! However, when I go out I knw how to converse with ppl and have a great personality. Those two traits can get you far in life especially when it comes to job opportunities. It’s helps so much with networking!! You got this!! I have faith in you! ❤remind you are awesome! The worse they can say is no. It’s up to you how to react to that no. Do not dwell on it bc it’s their loss!! F them! And keep doing you! Get that PhD! You got this!!! 🎉

[@TimmyTheTinman]

No offense, you’re part of the problem

[@andranice]

As an introvert, I have mostly had customer service jobs and I honestly hate them. But that's not the customer's fault so I would always smile and greet them and help in any way I can because it's my job (and sometimes I make their day and it feels nice). The real problem is that it's hard to find a job that isn't that. I assume a good amount of people don't want to be in those customer service-type jobs, but there aren't many options besides those. But again, no excuse to not do the job you were hired to do.

[@miyainthegoldenhour]

Same I've been a cashier for 5 years and of course most of my experience is in customer service. So many of my friends and family ask me how I deal with ppl because they personally couldn't do it. I tell them idk how I've been doing it lol it's hard 😅. But I'm trying to look for another job (not in a front facing role) but it's hard since I have the most experience in that😮‍💨

[@asoiaf__]

Customer service can be tough sometimes. I used to a be social butterfly, but then my anxiety began to get the best of me. Customer service forces you to go outside your comfort zone and interact with strangers. It really helps you work on relationship/social skills, so I CAN eventually get to a point where conversation flows naturally and I feel confident when I’m in a conversation with someone. Introvert or not, every human needs social interaction to thrive. Keep fighting and take those opportunities to grow, they will pay off 💪🏻

[@SS-cu8se]

At the end of 2019, I made the decision to delete my Snapchat (which was my main source of social media and connection). I didn’t like “watching” people live their lives without actually talking to them. After taking a break from people in general for a few years, I am much more intentional with my friendships and I actively reach out to people and chat via text or FaceTime, and vice versa, and omg it is SOO much better! Not having a social media account to “keep up” with friends is the best thing I ever did. Now I actually talk to them. And if I don’t, atleast I know where our relationship stands. Social media creates this false sense of closeness. It feels good, but it’s not real. It’s equivalent to eating chips for dinner. You just feel unfulfilled. I’m glad I’m past that period in my life.

[@aielianna]

I deleted my twitter last year and started an indefinite break from tiktok a few months ago. I got tired of "watching" people as well but it was even worse because it was people I didn't even know. Although mentally I feel better because I don't scroll for hours, I never really had friends so I still feel stuck in this area. I decided i'd rather eat nothing for dinner than chips which sucks but it's reality I guess.

[@SS-cu8se]

@@aielianna when I started becoming intentional with reaching out to friends, I meant old friends that I lost touch with. I highly recommend this if you can. A lot of people love hearing from someone they haven’t spoken to in years.

[@jclyntoledo]

That's so weird to me. I keep snapchat bc no one has albums and posting a story is a choice that will only show for 24 hours. I don't have a lot of ppl on their but also there's times where my wifi is much stronger so I use that plus there's ppl who aren't near me I talk to and have streaks with. Some of these ppl would probably forget to reach out if we didn't have streaks going. The only other thing I have is telegram and since my snapchat ppl don't want to convert to that I keep snapchat but it is helpful to me 😊.

[@aielianna]

@@SS-cu8se I switched schools a lot so I don’t have people that I was super close with. I feel like the relationships I did have sort of already served their purpose because I am a completely different person than I was in those friendships. I get what you’re saying but I have kinda given up in that area.

[@uwu_spetz]

We are wayyyyy too car centric and sprawled, this I think, is one of the major factors.

[@katdiggory5501]

No, in Germany we’re not and we experience the same thing

[@juratory8876]

​@@katdiggory5501 They mean here in America.

[@katdiggory5501]

@@juratory8876 no I meant that it doesn’t make a difference how car centric a country is, it’s the same all around the world yk

[@antonn3718]

Yes it does make a different how car centric a country is. Especially here in the USA. There’s more roads than actual third spaces here.

[@doeeyes2]

That has NOTHING to do with it. Its the jnternet plain and simple.

[@Owjdnskoakansbskk]

One cashier doesn’t say hello and it triggers a whole TikTok trend. Wow.

[@LennyTheHopeless]

God forbid people have bad days amirite?

[@Ardorstorm]

I think it was more like one match setting a whole bundle of kindling that was already there ablaze. One person posts online about "huh, it's kinda weird that X is happening lately, has anybody else noticed this?" and then suddenly EVERYBODY realizes they've been seeing that same trend too in their own lives

[@Eudaimonia7564]

I’ve been struggling to make new friends after graduating from university in May but I’ve started to put myself out more as of not too long ago and it feels really good to have a social life again. I hope I make some new friends soon!

[@Chanclaphobia]

I’ve had people say behind my back that they don’t like me because I’m “too happy” excuse me what?! Sorry that I’m trying to live my best life.

[@malazkarar1171]

That's foul! Bestie, please don't stop shining, they're just sour graping.

[@COOKIEM260]

I am very quiet and don't bother nobody but people will still find a way to be nasty to you or find something to hate about. Dam if you do and dam if you don't.

[@0nlyKC]

I try to make connections with people but they never put effort into conversations or, they have their own set friend group or we talk one day and never talk again. I’ve never really had friends that are MY friends, I’ve always been the “floater friend”. Always the one who talks too much but if I didn’t talk, who would? No one. People never really put effort into making conversation so I find it best to be by myself instead of feeling like a nuisance. But being a teenager with no friends is horrible, I hope and pray I find MY people someday.

[@danarodz3275]

It is hard and I definitely struggled with it myself but I would say don’t give up you will find your group eventually.

[@0nlyKC]

@@danarodz3275 Thank you, I hope you’ve found yours

[@IntimateAlien]

I work in retail, and I’ve noticed Gen Z is one of the most awkward to interact with. Trying to even ask them basic questions relating to the job (“do you want a bag” “are you a member with us”) are often not even responded to. And so many can’t count money?? I understand having social anxiety, but this is just another level. Please go to self checkout instead of making my job more difficult than it needs to be 😊

[@rosebud7645]

Yeah, I'm gen z and I've seen this everywhere. My peers are impossible to befriend, because they are simply uninterested in putting effort into conversations or anything that isn't social media or vanity related

[@nxrth9463]

Be quiet granny

[@Pratt11]

That is diabolical, your patience must be something cuz I'd have been passive aggressive with em lol, so weird

[@eddie-lamardavis1354]

Are you talking about children?

[@IntimateAlien]

@ nope, 18 to mid 20’s. I have to check ID for age restricted products, which is how I know. Kids can count money better in my experience

[@iamsam1296]

The intro is insane 😭😭😂

[@imuRgency]

LMFAOOOOO thank you 🤣

[@iamsam1296]

@@imuRgency I'm LIVING for your new intros they always makes me crack up

[@UniqueCommentary247]

​​​@@imuRgencyComing from a millennial, I love my alone time! So why socialize everytime I talked to someone I've always regretted it. Also people are so confusing and they Zapp alot of my energy. I love my peace.

[@jclyntoledo]

​@@UniqueCommentary247Omgosh yes, that's why all my interactions are intentional. However, I do still want to make more friends.

[@jtismybro]

I really appreciate that you broke down the definitions of antisocial vs Asocial. I think that's an important distinction to make and I definitely think you're right, that most people say antisocial when they actually mean asocial

[@DiaryofNatalieRose]

Last month I moved from a boring suburban town to the city with a decent amount of third places. I thought friend making, which was hard in the suburbs, would be easy. I was wrong. I’ve been ghosted, and bailed on an unreasonable amount of times. When I try to strike up a conversation with strangers they start physically backing away from me and saying “Bye now!”

[@fallenpieces7]

I still say hi to random people out in public. I get ignored a lot 🤣 maybe they think I’m weird but I I don’t care. It’s weirder to walk by people on a hiking trail in total silence or to buy things at the store and not speak a word to the cashier. I don’t go out to make new friends all the time but I always try to be polite towards strangers and just be kind because I’ve worked customer service and often times in those jobs were just trying to hold ourselves together. I go to church and make small talk with people and it’s so easy there or at work, without making any commitments to hang out with people at either of those places. The only time I’m not talking to people in public is if I think they’re creepy/dangerous being weird from the start. I don’t like to be stuck inside all day anyway, however I have stopped trying to hang out with friends lately bc im broke and have been all year and I’m exhausted after work/socializing at work all day too.

[@LLCoolJ_25]

You sound like a really nice person. I love when people say hi to me first because it makes it a bit easier for me to have more positive energy when I say hi. If I say hi first, I sound really timid because I don’t know how people will respond.😂 I have social anxiety and I’m trying to have better body language and make eye contact more. It’s a little bit easier saying hi to older people. A lot of people in my age group look like their cat was hit by a car or having RBF. I’m sure some of them are struggling too so I’m trying not to judge. At the same time, it makes me realize how miserable I was not having more positive energy.

[@NewYasmine-nl9jq]

I don't know I would weirded out too unless there is a specific context. There's too much violence in the streets these days I cannot talk to a random

[@Kjstyles4317]

@@fallenpieces7 not talking to cashiers is so weird to me

[@embryolk2770]

As a gen Z, i have NEVER heard of this so called popular “Dont invite me to the party because i wont go” sentiment. Everyone I know constantly wants to be around friends. This whole thing feels like less of a shift towards extroversion (which has always been the popular way) to a shift towards scrutinizing actual introverts into doing things they dont have energy for.

[@Finn-wc8nq]

For real, I’m an introvert who doesnt usually go to parties but it’s always touching to me when friends invite me anyway! It’s nice knowing im wanted even if i dont always have it in me to go

[@tuttifrutti2642]

People don’t think manners or pleasantries are important. They then get on-line and cry about being lonely and depressed. It okay to be an introvert. You should still be polite. It just takes a little practice you can really make someone else’s day and get out your own head.

[@angeloalvarez5520]

Right?

[@borikenhazel]

Unfortunately, people still don't understand what introversion and being an introvert really is. 😮‍💨 😞

[@NewYasmine-nl9jq]

YES. Introverts are NOT antisocial

[@julistar90]

I thought it was normal for anyone to want to recharge after having a long day. I didn’t think it needed a label.

[@lilisky7748]

Im too anxious to unmask in public fully with my friends, because although theyre a safe space, and they dont embarass me one bit, i dont want a viral video of me being me with my friends. 😣

[@rosebud7645]

THIS. I can't tell you how many times I've been feeling good in public and being goofy, and I suddenly have this horrifying realization that I could end up online to be made fun of, judged for not being pretty enough, or degraded because I dared to be myself. It's absolutely terrifying, and it shouldn't be the norm

[@lilisky7748]

@@rosebud7645 Exactly! Its such a terrifying idea to think about, people can be cruel asf

[@cr0wsnest]

I feel like casual acquaintance-ships just don't exist for gen z . Every social interaction seems to be extremely loaded by the weight of making a good impression, and the consequences really are dire. Getting talked about on the national news because you tripped or laugh weirdly shouldn't be a consequence of going outside. There's also a gap in social education that can only partially be blamed on the pandemic. Gen z is the first generation fully raised under constant supervision. The late millennial children of helicopter parents were the first wave in the 10s. We're seeing full scale repercussions now in gen z, and it won't look so great for gen alpha either. I say all of this as a millennial with cptsd caused (in part) by hyper surveillance in my childhood. What was uncommon in my 20s seems to be standard now, and knowing how hard it is to work through... it's going to be tough on a societal level.

[@velevetyy]

yesss fr constant supervision from parents to algorithms, honestly i hate knowing just to go online ive been observed my whole life for adverts, ive never had freedom irl, but jeez if i lived what stuff i did online in real life ppl would be shocked and not in a good way i just wish so bad there was more solidarity for people my age. once i made a post about solidarity and people took it as..... me not like them.... earning money.... and being successful? ugh.

[@Koi_to_Dragon]

Holy shit…this should be top comment for the statement of helicopter parents alone

[@bookbutterfly2408]

I feel like my parents ruined my life (so far) for this reason. I can't wait to finish my education, get a job, make some money, buy a car, & later move out, but omg with the current state of the economy, it's so much easier said than done with stresses me out even more.

[@cclee6987]

The way the girl talked about being introverted as a trend is hilarious because im introverted as a norm. Yes i am excited to leave the party and go home to my dogs but i showed up cause i like you so give me some grace.

[@AikiraBeats]

I’m starting to crave human touch and human interaction. I have a big family, so I’m constantly talking to them. But when it comes to complete strangers, this is where I struggle with keeping up in conversations or I tend to zone out in the middle of the conversation.

[@spookymuk]

i just can’t deal with people complaining, i try to talk to my older coworkers at work but all they do is COMPLAIN

[@COOKIEM260]

It's that or they're gossiping and saying the most nastiest things abiut other people for no reason. I wish I could be real and tell them to stfu and get away from me.

[@naenizzlee]

I think cuz of the whole “mysterious” trend ppl can’t tell ppl who are actually introverted vs the ones who are faking it and it’s annoying bc I always been this way 😭

[@alex_raine_]

Something I’ve noticed with my young adult friends living in the suburbs is that either no one has time or money to spend on going to “hangout” spots like the gym which 50% of people don’t even like to attend on their own, or they don’t want to participate in risky, dangerous behavior

[@venusvicious4446]

I think my introversion comes from always being made to stay in the house in my teen years to watch my siblings.. then you become an adult and don’t know wtf to do because you spent so much of your life raising kids instead of being one

[@apersonwhohasnothing]

Gosh same, even though i am only like three years older than my brother. I always had to adjust or sacrifice my own needs snd wants for my sibling's sake.

[@diamondflake5407]

Wow never thought of it that way

[@ChildOfTheMoon.]

Omg I'm turning 16 soon and my parents will not let me leave the house alone not even to the park thats the next street over plus when I was younger moving to several primary schools and losing all my friends that I can't make them anymore I've been friendless for nearly the entire 5 years years of high school😭😭

[@venusvicious4446]

I’m sorry if any of you guys also had your childhoods stripped away from you 😢 this is also why I DONT support parents having too many kids. It’s not funny or cute. It’s fkn stressful on the kids who have to suffer the lack of resources, lack of time/energy/affection from their parents and lack of privacy. No kid should have to raise another kid.

[@Pointy_Bird]

Pro tip: if you wanna talk to random people, start by commenting on something and then smile. Can be their dog, something they're wearing (hey nice x), even the weather really (you look you're enjoying the rain!). Starts a convo almost every time. Dog people are the easiest to talk to, you feel awkward just pet the dog lol

[@Jessica.Shawnte]

I’m a cashier and customers don’t speak to us. I can say “hi, how are you “ the customer would just ignore me

[@rosebud7645]

Yeah, or they are wearing earbuds, on their phones, or speaking to someone else, and seem to find you addressing them as rude behavior. There is no win in that situation

[@maryn4150]

I literally thought I had autism because of how difficult it is for me to socialize with people... and I've been thinking about this for the past 5 years. Maybe, I just have zero social skills because I have no friends, and it's hard for me to make friends because I have zero social skills. Idk what to do, I guess I just need to practice talking to strangers or something, like more small talk at the grocery store and stuff. Maybe I should try to find a hobby or something, so I have something I can passionately talk about in conversation when people ask "what are you up to lately?" or "what do you enjoy doing?", I don't want to tell them I'm a completely useless person who just sits all day watching videos because I don't have any friends to make plans with. LOL. youtube comment journaling... a classic. I've done it again.

[@kidcaptainwembri]

I'm the same, for a few years now my biggest hobby has been watching YT videos and posting comments. I've been trying to start some hobbies again like reading and watching/reviewing movies. It's not a dramatic change but at least it's something outside of YT. Good luck to you~

[@lucidragon5260]

One thing you can try doing is finding a hobby and make friends at the same time. Find something that sounds interesting and see if there are any local groups for it. A few options I've found around me are: -go club (found it on Facebook when I was interested in learning go, they are very welcoming to beginners) -writing club (there is a local bookstore and the owner actively is trying to build a community, so he puts on multiple free events. This is the main place I've met friends) -yarn crafts (this one I haven't been to, but there were quite a few people who were hanging out in the back of the local yarn shop and crocheting/knitting together. They have regular times they meet) The good thing about meeting people for activities like this is I find it easier to socialize. You already know of one shared interest you have, and moments of silence don't feel awkward because there is something else you have to work on.

[@apersonwhohasnothing]

Its really hard finding or maintaining hobbies when all your life you've been told to sacrifice everything for your studies. Sacrifice your friends, hobbies, free time... just everything. I no longer posses enough motivation to even open my text books for more than 5 mins. At first I used this as a form of rebellion against my parents but now it has turned into a dangerous habit that will cost me substantially.

[@apersonwhohasnothing]

You are literally me. My social anxiety has been worse ever since the pandemic. My brain is either completely empty or literally about to explode when being engaged in a conversation. Its a struggle to even breath trying to talk with peers and teacher (I don't go out at all so these are the only people I see which is still rare cuz i don't go there often). I wonder if it would be easier talking with strangers than talking with my peers because atleast they don't know me. I feel bad venting like this but this is the only way I can vent.

[@kidcaptainwembri]

@@apersonwhohasnothing I can relate with a lot of what you said. I think making the effort to talk to strangers in those kind of low stakes situations would help. If only to exercise that socialisation muscle. Idk if you have a dog but when I walk my dog and we bump into another dog walker I try to make some conversation with them, most people love talking about their pets! If I'm very nervous about an interaction I know is coming up I will make notes about things that I need to mention/can ask them about so I'm more prepared. Regarding your studies I don't think there is a straightforward fix. I was very depressed and anxious and in the end had to drop out from my studies. Only after taking like a year away and getting better mentally could I return to studying, but this time with my own internal motivation and a healthier, balanced perspective. If you can, I recommend taking some time to figure out what you really want and why you are studying in the first place. Hope this helps

[@aivlisiok]

As a psychology student I love how you addressed the difference between antisocial and asocial

[@mojaslatt]

Its so hard to make friends my age when so many just care about useless bullshit I have no interest in discussing lmaooo Older friends has been the solution.

[@Cflenoury]

Saying “Young people and Gen Z” makes my 2002 self feel old af

[@imuRgency]

idk why i did that bc i def gave myself a complex too

[@SuperSpectrom]

Try 1998 lol. I'm a relic

[@c444rlj]

me a cusper (1997) i might as well identify as a millennial atp

[@kammyyedor4225]

How do you think us 25+ folks feel? 😂

[@xivinrah]

1989 here LOL 🙋🏾‍♂️🥴😂

[@ccll4993]

That intro made my wig float off like I'm watching it float away right now

[@leahsonic]

it's sad. i stopped hanging out with people because everyone is so consumed with their phones and social media.

[@nojoke449]

Find people who don’t do that then. I have friends who I met online but whenever we hang out we go outside and just walk. Mainly cuz we’re broke but hey broke together 💕🫶🏿

[@hippyhopohskippydop5792]

I have a constant *need* to scream to get of my room ,my friends don’t go out, and my school sucks which makes not want to engage with the activity’s. My town is small and are catered to adults, where the hell is a teenager supposed to go??

[@rosebud7645]

The same can be said for young adults that don't want to participate in "party culture." There's nowhere that offers community for people who don't want to do things like drugs, drinking, and risk taking

[@AnnatarielsGift]

About the cashier: I work in customer service myself, and while I do remain polite, most of the time I leave the first interaction up to the customer. If they say hi, I say hi back, if they say good morning, I say good morning back, if they smile, I smile back, if they say nothing and just want to get this over with, I will say nothing too because I also just want to get this over with. It gets exhausting fast to have to say hi and smile to every single customer that appears in front of you. I don't know how to be a robot. At the end of the day I've been forced to talk to so many customers that the last thing I want is to go meet more people.

[@AOSNOWN]

it feels so alienating to be an extrovert now. i recently discovered that im actually extroverted and now i constantly feel like i cant relate to anyone or that people think less of me

[@myachi_art]

bro are you me??? /j

[@HUeducator2011]

Yup…I lowkey hate 100% remote work. Now don’t tell me when I have to go in, but being isolated from people you’re supposed work towards a common goal

[@malazkarar1171]

​@@HUeducator2011 F'real! I try to talk during online class and be playful but everyone is just crickets.

[@rosebud7645]

I just have to say as a person who has been heavily introverted my whole life, I would give anything to feel at ease with other people. I wish this world would open it's eyes and see extroversion for the super power it is. Sometimes you extroverts are the only ones making us socially awkward people feel whole and seen. You'll find people who appreciate you

[@AOSNOWN]

@@rosebud7645 you're really kind. thank you for writing this comment. i hope you've found your people as well

[@yourfavpersuasion9385]

i no longer sympathize with people crying and complaining when they want to put ZERO EFFORT in meeting new friends.

[@Chillwave6]

oh yeah, I'm pretty respectful and keep backing down while chatting to most people but if they start going on about "these days you cant befriend people" and i ask "have you tried like.. being in maybe local places casually, enjoying outside and not just going outside for store/other business? talking to people? even chatting in local group chats or something?" and they just... refuse to even start chatting to anyone, its like.. yeah, i can see why you're alone. thats literally why you don't get people coming up to you. if you constantly seem either inside your home or just beelining to places outside, people don't wanna approach you.

[@lug358]

A lot of people find it very hard to start casual conversations/are not good connecting with people in that way. Its not their fault they still have the desire to make friends

[@yourfavpersuasion9385]

@@lug358 and those people do nothing to get good at it. pple are lazy

[@lug358]

@@yourfavpersuasion9385 maybe they are just autistic bro. With that poor empathy towards people having issues to socialize you dont seem fun to try to be friends with

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

⁠@@Chillwave6”being in maybe local places casually” lol what local places? Because where I live there’s mostly just bars and little else. Even the local library is weirdly unwelcoming what with all the mentally-ill people who may or may not accuse you of spying on them if you so much as sit a few feet away from them (and yes, that is something I had to deal with recently if you’re wondering why that sound ps oddly specific).

[@joannatstudent4625]

I used to work as a banker in a bank. And I just remember, old people would just come in to sit and talk to someone. It was adorable.

[@MeJustMe101]

Im a Gen Z, (2008), and honestly, I've lived mostly alone my whole life. Never really cared about people. I only saw people as ehh and that's about it. Nothing interesting. People always "Oh we need connections, we're social people," but I can't really do that as my social skills are dead. I've been pushed or pressured to try, but I found it too exhausting and irritating. Now, I dont hate people mind you, I just don't have any reason to talk to people. Am I complaining? Somewhat, but I'm not. I'm just stating that I don't really give a shit about people. People don't give a shit about me, so why should I give a shit about them? Giving a shit about someone who doesn't give a shit about you is the equivalent of beating your head against a brick wall, hoping for the wall to break. Do I feel lonely? Yea, but unlike most people, I'm used to it at this point. Thought I say something about this topic of "Oh we need to have connections ushjih," something idk.

[@samc9236]

@Mejustme101 @Mejustme101 hi i totally get why it feels easier to shut yourself off from caring about people if you've been disappointed over and over. Isolation can make us believe we're capable of sustaining a life alone because the fear of rejection is too confronting, but for that to be resolved i think its kinda necessary to admit that we cant be self sustaining creatures. At some point you'll need other people, either to live with, work with, negotiate or organize with, or just for comfort on a bad day. Obviously i dont know your circumstances but im sorry you've been alone most of your life. Social skills look different for everyone, and if you're self sufficient, independent, and you can empathize with people who are also feeling isolated, those are social skills that plenty people wont have, and they're valuable ones. I hope this didnt come off too preachy, this just sounds like how i used to think

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

Was there a time where you EVER felt differently? There was for me and that was when I was a student and soon after graduating. For a while I had my tribe. But as I grow older I find that the introvert I was always was now comes to the fore. Maybe it's a Jungian thing or maybe I'm around people who maybe family, but aren't my tribe. Once people marry, have children etc, it's hard to keep your tribe or find a new one.

[@vigarobugsbunni]

Im so happy that people are wanting to make an effort. I never understood why people thought it was cool to not have friends or participate in life.

[@loveratatouille]

i don’t think it’s “cool” i just can’t be bothered. relationships bring me nothing so why bother?

[@vigarobugsbunni]

@@loveratatouille then don't bother. But for the people that are brave and understand that everything that is worth having is difficult to obtain, its good to see them get back into society and be happy.

[@PeterGriffin11]

17:28 I honestly prefer cloudy rainy days and light snow over sunny days. Those conditions may make it harder for people to go outside but I honestly prefer that environment.

[@charmsz566]

For the love of god the antisocial refusal to use headphones in public is driving me insane. It’s so rude to force a subway car full of people listen to your violent video games-it’s bad enough to fear actually getting harmed in public which is a very real concern, but having to listen to screams and weapons, or even just bad music and TikToks without being able to even escape a moving vehicle, is so beyond irritating. It’s 2024-there has never in the history of the world been more headphones available for purchase. People refusing to use them are the worse.

[@Hazyhazefq4eh]

I’m 16. For 3 years now it’s just been so lonely. I read and stay in the house a lot I do try to go out and make friends but Everytime I ride my bike everyone is just rude or doesn’t walk to talk, it’s hard meeting new people. There’s no place to go to hang, we get yelled at when we’re at parks, or when we’re at a library we get yelled at because of what? I just don’t understand. It feels like it will be like this forever. I wish people wanted to be friends and wanted to talk. I do online to. Shits just intoxicating, all of this

[@tuttifrutti2642]

I hope you keep trying. Getting a part time job or joining a school club will eventually lead to invitations. You will eventually find someone who wants to hang out.

[@jessicajovel7162]

7:20 well, I can see how introverts felt excluded when EVERYONE wanted to be outside all the time, that's exhausting

[@ptootie5657]

I think the main thing is a lot of people think that they have to be initiated. And also a lot of people act like texting doesnt matter but its a bit frustrating when i pay 25 dollars a month for a phone bill and the people who are apparently my "best buddies" hate texting.

[@mxar2074]

It's not like I don't talk to people at all but I always feel like people are judging me. I feel like a loser when I'm just out and about by myself and see a group of people my age together. Happend more than once that they just kind of snickered at me for whatever reason, I'm already so insecure about my looks eventhough I don't look particularly ugly. I try to telll myself that it's all in my head and then something happens that proves to me that other people ARE judging me, it's humiliating.

[@rosebud7645]

Yep. Parents like to say that it's all in our heads, and no one is really judging, but then you go online. All you see there is other people who look perfectly normal being picked apart for not fitting social media's ideal type of human

[@JarOfHeat100]

to everyone in the comments saying people used to be aproachable/ used to be more friendly / used to say hi/ etc.. what are you doing? arent you also part of the people? if you want to build community build it, stop giving up on community at the first rude person you meet

[@JarOfHeat100]

not to sound too european, but like, you guys put a lot of emphasis on cashiers and supermarket workers how they're supposed to greet you anytime and they even put stuff in your bag. in europe you say hi to the cashier and they can say hi back and you can even chat but it's not expected. you see the chasier doesnt want to chat and you move on. it's honestly weird that you *expect* constant greetings. IMO it's american culture that's failing you and not the cashiers

[@nojoke449]

THANK YOU! I’m a retail worker and I’m am apart of Gen z! I don’t like talking but I constantly try to talk to customers because I want to look good for my manager! But constantly I am met with rude and angry people. I still talk to them but some days I just don’t want to have a whole conversation and carry it myself.

[@CarlosHernandez-jv6wk]

As an Ambivert who is what I call a 'Recovering Recluse', I think the biggest hurdle I have is the fact I'm just kind of afraid of people. Like, a couple years ago, I went to a gay nightclub, hoping to be social, but felt terrified to fo any socializing, because I assume I am percieved as a straight Cis-male (I am none of the above), and didn't want to bother anyone. Thankfully, a more social guy talked to me and there was a small group of us hanging out that night. In recent times, I have taken up volunteering at my local library, and that has yielded significantly better results. I have made a friend or two, will be working tue book sale this weekend, and even talked with one of the head honchos of the volunteer group and asked her if she could answer some questions about what a Masters of Library Science is like (something I am considering). We will be meeting in a couple weeks over coffee to talk book recommendations and what the experience was like. Also, my pertner is (hopefully)oving i. Soon, and I talk to them about EVERYTHING. Having someone physically here will do WONDERS. And I'll have someone to practice femininity with! :D I guess the lesson here is to find what works? I certainly feel more optomistic about my social prospects now than I did before, though I still have my aprehensions. Here's to hoping your girl THRIVES in 2025.❤ Also, great video as always. You always deliver.

[@jclyntoledo]

That sounds good. Also sounds like you arranged an informational interview which is super helpful for networking or just figuring out if a career is right for you. I did a handful of those when I was in uni 😊.

[@IshtarNike]

The loss of the formerly suffocating social obligations to be present at EVERY gathering at work or family life is a good thing overall. But I do wish that we had some balance. It feels like people have given in to instant gratification culture and decided that whenever they don't feel like going to something they'll just skip it. But I think they forget that 9 times out of 10 if you suck it up and go anyway you'll probably have a good time. If you like the people going you should push through and just do it. I've been doing it in my life and it definitely works. The only thing bringing me down is how many people cancel last minute or just don't respond to invites or try to be involved in anything at all. Humans are social creatures and we've somehow forgotten that. On a more political note, the loss of community makes it easier for us to be exploited. A workplace where no one is friends with their co-workers is a workplace that management can run with impunity because workers don't know information about each other and they are unlikely to unionise or push back collectively. The same goes for stuff at the local and national level. I know people are going to push back and say that their desire for social isolation is a result of late stage capitalism and being overworked and underpaid. But in many ways the causal link goes both ways. We let them trick us into giving up community for a chance at becoming rich during the Reagan and Thatcher era. We left unions and abandoned community groups for the suburbs. We raise our wages by moving company every two years instead of unionising and fighting back. So in many ways, part of the reason we're overworked and underpaid is precisely because we don't want to make those connections anymore! Edit: the thing about work is also so important. People spend a third of their entire lives at work! If you have no social life at work in any way then that might be how you like it but I know that would kill me. Imagine spending a third of your life doing hard boring work and not even having casual acquaintances to blow off steam with in the break room. Yes work relationships can be more dangerous. But no risk no reward.

[@JellyOnAPancakeAyyyy]

Spot on 🎯🎯🎯

[@macondiano503]

I'm a younger millennial but I've definitely noticed a huge change in the culture of those just a few years younger than me. There's a lot of antisocial tendencies for sure that the internet and technology have seemed to normalize. Bullying is always a problem for younger generations but new advancements in tech have made it even more easier for people to choose hatred over genuine connection. Forging real connections takes time and I know there are other obstacles, too, but it's definitely true: technology and social media provide such instant gratification, kids now are used to having things now now now and it's addicting. They're allowed to be on their phones and laptops all day, even in school (just ten years ago when I went to school this was not a thing). There is less and less room for drawing healthy boundaries due to lack of regulation and younger ppl are so used to having a lot more that they seem to feel entitled to your space (hence filming ppl without permission, the rise in cell phone spying, etc.).

[@lollalofi3933]

i am a social introvert and i deal with loneliness. it is now going better, but i seriously hate how nobody around me really asks me out to do something. they are waitiing until i say something otherwise they don't. i'm tired of being the one to make hangout sessions. even if it isn't that then people around my age are just rude and rather stay on their phone. i tried to talk to people even though i am awkward. or to convince them to stay off their phone and talk to eachother. or to ask them to do smething but they declined everytime. i am so jealous of my (way) older sisters and my mother because they where being teens in a time where it was normal to be social. i do need to say that i am an european. we have a lot of homework to do or having a sidejob but this seems to me personal. also people need to stop saying that introversion = being anti-social. also i do have the feeling that a lot of introverts use their battery being empty as an excuse to not hang out.

[@lollalofi3933]

sometimes i am being alone for such a long time that i don't know how to be social. it sucks truly

[@frozenlillypad2070]

Socialising is to painful, Id rather just talk with the poeple I already know, when I have the energy

[@ellouisebadger849]

As someone with painful social anxiety I can still say hello to people at work 😂

[@SunnyGoesIn1D]

Everyone who says they try to talk to people and people don’t respond or share their enthusiasm, please continue. I really hope you don’t stop. Even if you get weird looks. We don’t always find community. We also make it. And you may get a weird look from someone for engaging that time, but the next time someone says hi to that person, they may think twice about sidestepping them. This is where it starts. I hope you do continue. You’ll find people who engage back or rub off on someone who doesn’t yet, I promise.

[@foxkuns8348]

i think for the first time in my life im not lonely. it took me getting kicked out of my mom's house i had no way to get to school, i didn't have a drivers license and my dad worked hectic hours. i ended up reaching out to a friend that i has grown apart from. since school started we've became best friends and hang out all the time. it's been so amazing to spend an hour everyday just talking.

[@soredon]

*stares in autism* O_O i hate these conversations XD as it feels like for me in public places, i don’t meet anyone anyway. I can’t get to the places where people are with no transportation and i don’t have money to go to the places… i think thats the case for a lot of others (especially neurodivergent ones). in high school for my last two years i didn’t make any friends, or in college when i went either. i feel like i didn’t get the guidebook that everyone else got to social interactions. i’m also quite physically terrified of interacting with people as i cannot prepare a script in my head. i don’t know when or the correct way to try to befriend others irl… i dunno, there’s too many reasons to list for why interaction is extremely difficult for autistic people. just my 2 cents i guess, i hope everyone remembers their neurodiverse peers when making comments :)

[@MsAnubisia]

As someone with a neurodiverse partner and as someone with mental illness, our solution has just been befriending other neurodiverse people lmao. I wish you luck in finding the connection you crave.

[@grandsome1]

Eh, you can start by saying, "I'm autistic and a little weird." with a note of humor when you want to make friends. Most people will forgive and forget 99% of weird behaviour even if you don't say that. People are weird too, it's not exclusive to you. Find a hobby, a role play table, a game club etc.

[@jclyntoledo]

As someone who has social anxiety and executive dysfunction issues, I can somewhat relate. It's best to find ppl through hobbies or interests if possible that would usually mean find a grp or club. Also when it comes to scripts, it's important to remember every get to know you script is basically the same or you should go about it the same. For me I keep like a list of talking points for this in my head. An example would be first convo, say hi, introduce yourself, get their name, get their age, find out hobbies/interests or passions, ask if they have pets, maybe see if they live in your city or near your neighborhood, get mini life update if convo lasts long. You can also add questions about school/career path or if they're married depending on how it goes.

[@jclyntoledo]

Also what helped me, for my social anxiety was doing baby steps and also telling ppl about it right away so I would have to spend less time hiding it aka masking. As far as convos, just get used to approaching ppl who dress in a way you admire or have something you like, like if someone is walking around carrying a book you like you can strike up a convo about it or maybe just say something like, "That's a really good book, have you read it yet?".

[@LindseyphantomEXE]

So? I am too but I go out my way for friends.

[@wesleyhortenbach3557]

So well said. I agree with every word. I’ve felt this way for the last few years and it is so validating to see the tide shift like this. There’s something to the boomer line “get off your phones” maybe without the smugness but we should get out and play. As a teacher I feel so old fashion because I’ve seen how awful phones and iPads are for learning and socializing.

[@homiekeen23]

The internet opened us to new possibilities, new communities, new kinds of people and ideologies and ways of living etc... Sometimes you feel like you belong more somehwere else with other people rather than with the community you're in. It's good in that you don't feel like a total weirdo anymore, but it also makes you kind of melancholic, longing for something that you now know is actually possible and actually exists, rather than just accepting that you're "weird" and forcing yourself to learn and do what everyone else around you is doing

[@osbald]

exactly what ive been feeling. its weird

[@perryjones7771]

As a Gen Z I am lonely but not because I’m antisocial. Where I live I’m THE ONLY young gay man I don’t have any gay friends. All of my male friends are straight and I dont have anyone to relate to. And I’m 20 so I really can’t do anything until next year. Not gonna lie I just stay in my room most of the time reading and watching tv. I would like to have a clique of friends but I have too much to worry about. I’m always at work as well. So that plays a huge part in my loneliness. I work all night shifts so by time I go to sleep I don’t wake up until 3-4 in the afternoon then I have to head right back to work. Also being the only young gay guy where I live I’ve had some situations with some creepy old men. I’m not looking for a relationship at all but I would like to have a best friend that I can hang out with and talk to.

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

Is there a larger town or city in driving distance you can get to with some type of lgbtq+ community? It seems more than ever now there is some visibility in more rural areas.

[@Bishook]

THISSSSS REAL BAD

[@perryjones7771]

@@pisceanbeauty2503 not really there’s a gay section in the city but I have to be 21 to get in anywhere.

[@NewYasmine-nl9jq]

You don't have to befriend people who are the same sexuality as you. You can perfectly befriend straight people

[@velevetyy]

bro i feel that and im not a party gay so people dont rly understand me when i go to the city n go out

[@jellybee5217]

i recently left a friend group and though i feel sadness here and there as i was with that group for ages, i think learning how to socialize in a way that is meaningful and helpful to me specifically is really important. i found a lot of the time i mimic those around me so being out on my own i think forced that open for me at least a little. what i’ve found so far is that older people are honestly really fun to hang out with😭like i love old people, a lot of the people i really connect with i’d say are in their 60s-80s. it could be because of my work but even in clubs that i’m in, it feels easier to connect and i wonder how many people i pass that are my age that have the same fears of connecting that i do. this video was helpful, thank you for making it! :) i hope we can all learn and just be a bit more gentle day by day. don’t let people walk over you or be rude but being mean makes it even harder to connect

[@stoneyrules]

I KNEW I wasn't the only one who felt this. When you mix Covid Lockdowns with a Phone Addiction, this Is the result. It's like people forgot how to talk, or If they do, about something they saw on Tiktok or some new trend (which made It hard since I didn't use tiktok). I can't describe It, but feels like no ones authentic anymore, like they're imitating rather being. Oddly enough, I was made fun of for my style despite It being applauded online by the same people, and It wasnt even crazy, just chinos and patterned shirts (Grad last year). Point Is, somethings up where people are acting weird about socializing

[@nojoke449]

Nope. People didn’t forget how to talk. They just don’t care to. Think about it why talk to a stranger?? New experience and people could be met yeah? But why step out of your comfort zone? There’s no motivation to cuz you who cares about the people you don’t know?

[@stoneyrules]

@nojoke449 Glad you mentioned, was getting long. Nobodies obligated to talk to me, you, whomever. However, the notion of not caring seems to have doubled, despite also wanting to be social. I can't and not trying to speak for everyone, but being a social ambivert, noticed those kinds who don't talk really do, but seem to fear being perceived authentically. Or as you said, just doing there own thing

[@weewaw3406]

As one of the few extroverts I know, thank you for making this ugh It is exhausting always being the one to initiate plans, people appreciate it but never want to go through the effort of reciprocating since they want convenience. And then they complain "oh my god you have so many friends I have none" 🙄 It's also annoying that because I go out, people think that every time I hang out with them it has to be balls to the wall crazy even if we've had a history of cute cozy wholesome hangs.

[@monriatitans]

I was LOVING how you kept saying "most people" cuz I'm an ADtistic (ADHD + Autistic) introvert; respectfully, get the fuck away. 🤣 And don't say "Hi" to me as I'm checking out so I don't look like a jerk for not responding when, in reality, my social battery is at its lowest and I just wanna get the fuck out of this loud ass store.

[@biancamcflurry9206]

I love talking to older people and I realized recently that it’s because they know how to hold a conversation without looking down at their phones…

[@chloeemary]

This intro is 🔥🔥this vid came at a perfect time for me bc I realized I love making new connections so I signed myself up for cheerleading (again) at 25!😂

[@mynameisreallycool1]

I think this is everyone nowadays. I swear I was better at talking on the phone and initiating conversations when I was a kid in the 2000s than now as an adult in the 2020s. Younger me would be so confused if she met me.

[@julienweems6166]

There's nowhere to go. I gave up on trying to connect to people. In fact, I don't even look at people in public, because I don't want to be noticed. Actually interacting people is such a minefield that I just don't want to attempt. I just focus on being with my family and the few friends thst I have. Screw everyone else.

[@SentientOrganism]

I spent my 20's trying to "fix" my introversion, even going into a job where I'm rewarded generously for being social. I burned out. I would get migraines that crippled me for a week. I now preserve my energy and understand my social limits. There was nothing to fix or change.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

The saddest part of it all is that the healthiest happiest people aren’t online talking about it, they’re out living it. And those who fake it fake it until they get caught and the mask comes off. So it can really distort one’s perception of reality if you’re online too much Prognosis: unironically go touch grass and hug someone you love. If you don’t have the latter, go fix that

[@Atlastheyote222]

I lost my job at the start of 2024 and was unemployed studying remotely for 6 months living on absolute edge of my means eating noodles and never going out to save money. I’ve never been more of a shut in and more depressed in my entire life i dont know how people can stand living like that. Hang with your friends, find love and find happiness. Dont be afraid to talk to people, dont be afraid to have fun, dont be ashamed of being yourself ❤

[@moshpitthedilf1066]

ngl the isolation year was probably the greatest year of my life

[@daniray97]

Working as a package handler in the warehouse and the amount of times I've tried to just say "hi! I'm Danielle nice to meet you!" Because I'm paired with them to load a truck only to be completely ignored is really uncalled for. I understand social anxiety because I have it also and I'm shaking while saying hi, but to acknowledge someone saying something to you and not say a thing in response, to act as though they're invisible is so rude and people need to get that through their heads.