The Dutch Are The Worst Europeans - Stand Up Comedy - Geoffrey Asmus

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

If you like this, come see me on tour - linktr.ee/Geoffreyatm11 Upcoming shows in Houston, NYC, New Jersey, Portland, Las Vegas, Montreal, Ottawa, Connecticut, Toronto and so many more unfortunately. Or Sign up for my email list to find when I'm performing near you - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@kenpachikiking6179]

Do you ever hit Buffalo?

[@biuliu7157]

Bros on the grind!!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

@@kenpachikiking6179 absolutely. Was there last summer. I’ll be back in the fall. Sign up for the email list above and I’ll let you know when I’m back

[@gillesa630]

I'm buying two tickets to your Toronto show! And I'll tell a bunch of people about it. Don't quit comedy yet, give it at least a couple more years. You are hilarious and I think you're starting to really gain traction!

[@1980HiphopFunk]

Loved the outro!! Shame i missed the show, i would be the best heckler .

[@HardHardMaster]

''what's one thing that's better in the Netherlands than in America?'' -average intelligence.

[@tobybricks1]

Less guns

[@larsrademakers6070]

Infrastructure

[@chudbo8751]

Those nerds still getting cucked by good ol' retarded U S of A.

[@johnl5316]

@@tobybricks1 Moslems taking over

[@johnl5316]

@@larsrademakers6070 Sharia

[@daratencion3845]

" I don't have to be funny, you guys take breaks at your job too " spit take hilarious Geoffrey ! Thank you 😂

[@CyrixD2]

Such a good line! Could make a whole bit around it

[@ceiteach2333]

Hey Geoffrey, just wanted to say I was at your Dublin show and it was my first comedy show. It was a cracking night and hope to see you back in Ireland again ❤🙏

[@gillesa630]

wow you're lucky to have that as your first show

[@bwalster]

You saw the greatest living white comedian for your first show??? Might as well gouge your eyes and ears bc you've seen the top of the mountain.

[@saszablaze1]

Omg a full tour?! When was this?! Are these old vidros from months ago?! I looked on his website when saw germany and all the dates were american. Grrrrr

[@geekofsteal]

"HEY! Vicar is OUR word. You can only say 'Vicah', if we think you're cool."

[@theascendunt9960]

My vicah!

[@pnwesty7174]

"Mine's like a half gin and tonic." 😂😂😂😂 These Europe clips are fucking killing it.

[@michielvdvlies3315]

Oh Genever ;-)

[@SungurEge]

I cannot believe that I was there, it was a 10/10 show from material to crowd work, and we got to chat with you too, which made it extra special! 🤘🏻🤘🏻🔥🔥 Cannot wait to see you again in Europe, brother!

[@13loodLust]

The meta commentary on your own set really makes the set. Brilliant.

[@Sisterlisk]

It's the best

[@_burningshadow_8010]

😂 I think our attitude goes both ways: Sure, nobody remembers all the things we did, first company, largest company, named half of america, half of your surnames are dutch, half of your presidents are Dutch, telescope, Shell, Philips, Wi-Fi- Blue-Tooth, ASML, 2nd biggest agri culuture exporter despite our size, invented 90% of water technologies, the OG 3 striped flag, the OG national anthem, historically good at adapting and learning languages, basically: G E K O L O N I S E E R D But on the other side: *Nobody Remembers* people will be mad at England or Spain. "Ha, ha all things in the british museum are stolen" Like sure, all our achievements are forgotten. But all our bad actions kind of fall out of public image as well and we generally manage to avoid pissing anyone off. At the same time putting us in a position where a country like America is "defending us" because they get something out of it. Like for example, us not selling our technology to China. When your country is this small it's rather foolish to rely on pure military force. Instead you turn your country in the largest trading company in the world and when that goes out of style you switch to being centered around tech and providing another specific service that people rely on. It doesn't matter if we get no credit as long as people are still relying on our services. Plus we're neutral enough that generally speaking "anyone will do business with us"

[@8alakai8]

that joke they are lazy germans did not coquer the world uuuh forget the golden ages?

[@strongmind3881]

Did he hurt your feelings? 😂

[@_burningshadow_8010]

@@strongmind3881 Haha, no generally the Dutch are not so *frail* to have their feelings hurt by comedy. Otherwise we wouldn't say things like *Doe normaal* constantly. That said the american influence is a bit concerning.

[@des1nteress3]

Funny story actually, The Dutch were the only ones allowed to do business with Japan. The Netherlands thought trade was more important than religion so, where other countries tried to force their religion on others. The Dutch simple destroyed images of God/Jesus to get Japan's trust who had a falling out with English/Spanish colonisers. Trade always came first, which actually makes me surprised they mess over China who has the same mindset as the Dutch: Trade at all costs. The difference is that USA actively forces us to stop trading by threatening us. They've done it before, even documented & out in news, with the gas pipe.

[@xXSjapXx]

Als je zo ver over de oceanen hebt geregeerd, met alle invloed van dien. Gestaafd met een kennis der talen en culturen, moet ik toegeven dat de Nederlandse zelfspot ons een nuchter volk maken. Try and explain that to the English and Americans. Effort wasted. The guy is funny af!!

[@jwvandegronden]

I feel some fucked up pride I'm Dutch watching this. being destroyed by the best comic who thinks this was his best work! YEAH!! Great work man, loved it, so cool you came here. We have a long standing comedy tradition and already for decades also quench our thirst for comedy on all the American and English comics who frequent our comedy hot-spots! Please return as often as you can!

[@wilhelmdietz4023]

Ik vind onze eigen cabaretiers over het algemeen wel beter dan Amerikaanse stand-up comedians hoor. Met uitzondering van Louis C.K. Hij is wel op hetzelfde niveau.

[@jwvandegronden]

@@wilhelmdietz4023 Eens over Louis CK. Maar deze gast is erg goed ook.

[@wilhelmdietz4023]

@@jwvandegronden Ja, deze video was wel erg leuk inderdaad, misschien ga ik later nog wel wat meer kijken.

[@Pelerincha]

@@wilhelmdietz4023 Onze eigen cabaretiers zyn over algemeen well beter'...Daar moest ik echt om lachen...Ik woon al veel jaren in de VS...De VS is de best in 'Show Business' dat is hun 'middle name'. ... Het verschil tussen VS comedy and Hollands comedy in het zelfde verhouding als Hollandse Film industry en Amerikaanse Film industry...Gek he, ik heb zelfs van Asmus nooit gehoort in Amerika..Ik vond hem wel leuk maar hy is een klein visje in vergelyking met ander fantastische standup comics...Zo als ze zeggen "everything starts in Amerika", de creatieve ideeen , alles , jully krygen maar kruimels van het echte Amerikaanse Kultuur....De enige echte humor waar de hollanders beter in zyn is Voetbal humor....

[@wilhelmdietz4023]

@@Pelerincha Goede mening, maar is en blijft een mening, maatje. Er zijn overigens best nog wel wat ideeën vanuit Nederland naar Amerika gegaan hoor. Zoals Deal or no Deal (In Nederland Miljoenenjacht) en The Voice natuurlijk beiden in Amerika heel populair. Allebei bedacht door John de Mol. En ja, ik ben blij met slechts kruimels van de Amerikaanse "cultuur" want het grootste gedeelte daarvan is simpelweg kut uiteraard 😂😂

[@OmarMunoz]

The term "vicar" originates from the Latin word "vicarius," which means a substitute or deputy. The Latin root is reflective of the vicar's role in the church as a representative or deputy of a higher church authority, often a bishop. "I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she aint hanging with no broke Vicars"

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Hahaha

[@dn5658]

Thanks! You are a seriously funny man. The algorithm brought you to me several days ago. Thought I’d give you some Thanksgiving shine. Keep up the amazingly funny work. Do a show in Torrington CT and I will be there. Or I’ll find you somewhere out this way, I look forward to getting to a show.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

doing shows in CT next spring for sure. Sign up for my dumb email list and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@markveenendaal6359]

he forgets that we Dutch are one of the first founders and founded New York. new Amsterdam. they don't even know their own history

[@AlwinVerhoog]

Henry Hudson was een Engelsman in dienst van een Nederlands bedrijf die later ging handelen met de mensen die in het latere nieuw-Amsterdam leefden. Eerst kwamen de Belgen, of Walen, de Duitsers, de Britten en een enkele Nederlander. Dat wij er als Nederlander vroeg bij waren is eerder mythisch dan historisch. Manhattan is gekocht van de oorspronkelijke bewoners door een Duitser.

[@hareinthewoods3923]

Ssst stop emphasizing that we were a bunch of colonial assholes 😮

[@pmiskovic]

He's not from New York City, and he's a comedian. Ppl from NYC like myself are well aware of the Dutch origins of NYC. The clues are all over the city.

[@Rodrigorodriguez20241]

He’s a comedian you jackass. It’s just part of his bit. But thanks for the history lesson 🤡

[@remcocraane3862]

​@@AlwinVerhoog zonder Nederlandse leveringen was er nooit een "Amerika" geweest. Dan waren ze nog steeds van de Fransen en de Engelsen. Dat land bestaat niet echt.

[@ScottDincorn]

Multi-passionate, multi-talented. Truly a master of his craft

[@callumweimer711]

It's me! I'm Callum! Dont think Ive ever laughed harder than at this show!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

hellll yea. such a fun one

[@metalvideos1961]

so you have no taste then nothing he did or said is funny. bored out of my mind here.

[@throeawae2130]

@@metalvideos1961 how nice for you

[@metalvideos1961]

@@throeawae2130 nice right

[@plampard7813]

Lol why would we clap because someone is a soldier? He doesn't 'protect' us, if anything he is putting a target on our back

[@sjoe_87]

Im Dutch and I loved every second of this

[@elishamorgan]

I think it's awesome that you've been doing shows abroad. Your crowd work is snappy and genius. Always get a good laugh

[@kenpachikiking6179]

How are more people not watching you?!! You should have a few mil in subs

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

It ain’t a meritocracy 😢

[@SungurEge]

They cant handle the ALPHA!! 😤😤😤

[@gillesa630]

@@GeoffreyAsmus It's coming. Suck whoever's dick you gotta suck, do all the podcasts you can possibly do. And give it time, it will happen. You will do an arena tour one day.

[@pannonianbrute]

Of course it is, noone’s holding a gun to our head and making us watch better comics, you just ain’t no Bill Burr yet (or Maniscalco, Chapelle, Jeffries, Russel Peters, Kevin Bridges or even Tim Dillon)…but I’m sure you’ll get there, you’re hungry enough. Helps if you know a bit about the places and people you’re shitting on, though, makes for better comedy. Especially when the Dutch open themselves up to as much ridicule as they do… you just gotta dig a bit deeper.🤷‍♂️

[@_burningshadow_8010]

2:06 You can say that but despite america having like 100-1000 fold the amount of cyber attacks on russia, the successful one was from the netherlands 😂

[@itookallthenames]

They like to have ze party but they know how to focus

[@CoachFykling]

Never have I laughed harder at a comedy clip as this xDD

[@elijahdixon2352]

This guys crowd work is so good. Ill have to come watch you live. Great work!

[@elijahdixon2352]

Just checked your website. Awesome to see you're coming to Bentonville AR! I'll see you there, Phillip

[@ericclaptonsrobotpilot7276]

The best ambassador we could ask for.

[@BelovedNL]

I pretty much laughed for 1,5 hours straight, amazing show!

[@Slamolo]

Too generous with us fans, thanks for the vids

[@TylerSmithMusic1]

I hope you’re enjoying your travels man! You’re the GOAT

[@psicobassmanecdqemsd]

Wow. This alpha comedian totally destroyed that Dutch crowd.

[@Jeroenhermanjan]

I don’t think destroyed it was really funny and good! Why get angry about it?

[@davidstarreveld8598]

​@@JeroenhermanjanHe is really angry and totally not sarcastic

[@VideoCraftingHD]

The crowd was not really dutch do you think? Lots of americans and australians

[@sannevandenheuvel5635]

I have some information for you; Dutch people don’t care as much about things like USA citizens. We make jokes about ourselves, laugh and cringe about ourselves and are often our own worst critics. We are often overlooked because we’re so small, so whenever people joke about us it’s actually something we often enjoy 😂

[@Bogota105]

At this moment we are very nationalistic and right winged. We love our gold century heritage with the Dutch East India compagny (which would richer in these times then the biggest companies in the world combined). So we cannot be offended and otherwise we will deport foreigners out faster than you can say "Stroopwafel"!

[@stickytourbus]

*I’m touring everywhere…sigh…* _Man, I can relate to that._ People never see the “glory and glamour” behind the glitter is what we used to say. Life on the road in the entertainment business is not for the weak of heart. It’s tough. Enjoy it while you have it brother. Someday, you’ll be old like me and fade into irrelevance. Dreaming of the stage. The only place I’ve ever felt alive.

[@frdml01]

Dutchman here. I don't laugh out loud very quickly, but this video made me just do that 😀. Amazing to be able to improvise and respond so quickly with snappy jokes.

[@lilywithluggage]

I was so happy to see you live at this show! Legendary set! ❤

[@jeffparisse4202]

The Dutch know everything! That’s the vibe I got when I went there for two week of work. See ya May 3rd!

[@NightOfCrystals]

I had to miss your Portland, Maine, show to see the total eclipse but if you come back I’ll be there (can catch you if you are back in Boston too) this slapped!!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

how dare you skip my show for a once in a lifetime celestial event. I love boston and maine though. I come back every year. sign up for my dumb email list and ill let you know when i return - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@eldormido8a]

Hello Señor Asmus, your content is great and hilarious. Thank you for continuously sharing your crowd work and being so quick and witty. I hope nothing but success and seeing you achieve your goals! You remind me of banter a few friends and I shared for many years. Greetings from Alaska!

[@TheDutchyNL]

That's some solid crowd work, you got a good laugh out of me!

[@travisforet1447]

When are you coming to Houston?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

I’m literally there in two weeks. Buy tix here - linktr.ee/Geoffreyatm11

[@travisforet1447]

Ok, hell yes dude. Fingers crossed I make it.

[@gillesa630]

@@travisforet1447 it's not up to chance if you just buy the tickets...

[@travisforet1447]

@@gillesa630 just got 2 for the 11th. See you then.

[@anywallsocket]

Dam Geo's getting better and better with all this challenging practice

[@yuriklaver4639]

Giving joke density a whole new meaning.

[@namstel9225]

That was hilarious! 🤣 Thanks for making my day.

[@deeptoot1453]

Damn this guy telling it how it is. The first 30 seconds to a minute I was like mweh...BUT THEN he absolutely killed it!

[@jonofthehill]

Big ups on the guitar outros. Love it.

[@caseyfreelove4458]

This one was a banger Geoff! Thanks for the laughs, hope you make it back to NorCal soon so we can see you live.

[@TheZoePath]

Bro, you are too good at this! 🔥💪🏼🔥 But why is the recording quality of your YT videos always so bad?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

This one was far too DIY. The next few will be much higher quality

[@kriscamps1799]

You're killing it Geoffrey!

[@LilysBookmark]

word around the St is if Geoff played a different guitar from his collection every video, it would make viewers more likely to sub, comment, share and buy a ticket

[@billtoll]

"work for Nickelodeon" quick as fuck...

[@tnickknight]

Good set

[@nothing55rk]

You truly make me laugh man, thank you!!

[@EVERTSMID]

Ur hilarious, absolute perfect humor🤣🤣👍 Much love from a Dutch guy! You know us to well🤣🤣✌️

[@HHog]

"Germans without ambition" Buddy I got 3 words for you: United East-Indies Company 🙃

[@theascendunt9960]

And you gave it up

[@stevengayler8447]

A very very long time ago

[@Harry_PP030]

​@@theascendunt9960we quit that and went partying instead.

[@KidontheSlope]

Loving the tour Geoffrey!

[@slayasloth]

I’m so proud of you for getting better at guitar. Keep it up mahn

[@russ_garcia]

Dude you’re freaking hilarious. Keep it going!

[@joostandhisband9648]

I wouldn't mind hearing some more jokes about the Dutch, The nickelodeon was brilliant! Thanks.

[@starksweetheart]

13:10 And a Hitler joke!!! God, Bismillah, fucking Buddha & The Masters of the Universe with She-Ra, I fucking LOVE you! Someday I will shake your hand after a show! 💯✌️🎤💓🤣

[@flangelus]

Dude i dont know who you are but youre actually really funny, sharp guy

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

this is true. please sub

[@flangelus]

​@GeoffreyAsmus already done homez. Also I've been binging your stuff and I read your message in that deep monotone voice of yours. No homo

[@AweSomo84]

I love your standups man

[@Beepsterr]

as a dutch person, this was really funny!

[@irmakaneli]

Great stuff!

[@oppositeofh8]

absolute brilliance. 😻😻😻😻😻 5/5 😹😹😹😹😹 5/5

[@itookallthenames]

Was going to make a joke about the Dutch falling to Hitler in 12 minutes, but I think it was actually the Danish

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Haha it was. Dutch put up a little fight

[@HardHardMaster]

​@@GeoffreyAsmusHey we thought they really loved us.

[@jasonmcduffie3186]

Funniest man alive.

[@gitsmaberry5329]

Great show at Go Bananas last night!!! Have a great show at The Sphere!!

[@djguydan]

Oof I need to lay off on the G&Ts ...

[@user-dh5yi9hz7p]

Next time you're back in NYC let me buy you a...gin and tonic.. or two☺

[@WO0Odzy]

Just noticed I missed your Paris date. FCK ME. Love your stuff man, consistently hilarious

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Oh daaamn. I’ll be back. Paris was so fun. sign up for my dumb email list so you don’t miss tickets next time - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@pizdocivka]

Military is unpleasant thing to talk. UN blue helmets from Netherland were deployed to Balkan during war in '90. It was sad story.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

True

[@HardHardMaster]

Too soon?

[@borat6363]

The Nickelodeon riff is undefeated

[@funnytastingmilk]

Wait when was this filmed???

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Like a month ago

[@thetravalanche]

Greatness 😂

[@dimitrigerman8376]

Three minutes in and it’s ripping harder than a Beyblade

[@Sedona_FD3S]

The end 😂

[@jawharp9467]

What do you get when you cross a Dutchman with a comedian? A funny-herring!

[@tannevannispen1621]

Would have been funnier if he mentioned some Dutch painters in his opening bit:)

[@dohtje5029]

We could rule the world.. Been there.. Done that.. 🤷🏻

[@pnwesty7174]

"What CNN?" 😅

[@johnburke8375]

Commenting for the algorithm

[@shamicentertainment1262]

Also this is off topic, but I never appreciated how cool te dutch language and accent sounds. Like when dutch people speak english it's a lot more neutral i find, then german or french or Spanish. it's nice

[@chef7658]

i heard a story of someone in America in the office speaking Dutch, and someone ran over to see what was going on as the person running was under the impression that the person who was speaking Dutch was in fact choking or having a seizure. Or most people say dutch sounds like a retarded or gay version of german.

[@AasilImran-pd7xp]

Can't wait to see you in Toronto

[@artistsean5817]

i love you buddy, im a big fan. much love and respect. i hope you are doing good

[@robertolunajr1957]

Dude you’re dope! I’ll see you live one day if you ever make it out to Texas

[@Carlos-im2jp]

A real talent this guy 😂

[@judeau9151]

you remind me of a Old Navy mannequin. In a good way.

[@PapaWolfDogZeus]

Light work

[@bwalster]

The 👑 King 👑 of crowdwork

[@mobucks555]

yup SUBBED you roasted them!

[@nicholassupino8775]

Social media does not reward quality... Hahaha it's funny because it's true

[@trevorthegreat]

Hi Geoffrey, excited for Ottawa show this summer. Destroy us libs

[@hunchbackaudio]

An American art and history student would need 3 weeks to graduate, by then you know it all.😂

[@sinclair00]

Please have my comment. Love from Scotland

[@bobbyzeeez8813]

Third Round 🤣

[@Mdjagg]

We don't have roads because of you, Tito!

[@spencerj4677]

Making minnesota proud my friend!

[@abfleks]

SO GOOD

[@eoinc9511]

DUDE! “They saw two world wars in Europe and were like ‘Gods not real’ , America saw zero consequences from either and we’re like ‘God is amazing’” In some far distant future an alien university will have an entire course based on you : “Asmus social dialecticals 101”

[@Pelerincha]

Consequences??? Have you ever visited the gravesides where all our American boys are buried in Europe...

[@RickWoldering]

You didnt say nothing about the netherlands

[@SailorGreenTea]

13:24, not Kitimat-Stikine

[@judeau9151]

I’m too broke to support you in any way that actually matters, but here’s a +👍🏼

[@davidarellano870]

Crowd work master

[@dru4670]

Groningen is one of the cities of all time😂

[@tameshewolf]

You the best!