Wife Wants Divorce: The Toxic Paradox of Obsessing to Save Your Marriage

  Рет қаралды 33,050

Geoffrey Setiawan

Geoffrey Setiawan

Күн бұрын

WIFE WANTS DIVORCE: THE TOXIC PARADOX OF OBSESSING TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
If your wife wants divorce out of the blue, or if your wife wants divorce for now reason, you are going to find yourself fighting hard and obsessing over saving your marriage.
What if I told you that if your wife wants divorce, you will paradoxically make things worse the harder to you to save your marriage.
If you are asking yourself “My wife wants divorce, how to change her mind?”, “My wife wants divorce, should I give up?”, or “My wife wants divorce, is it too late?” - then odds are very slim that you can ever save your marriage.
In this video, I am going to show you why this is, and why, if your wife wants divorce, you need to take a much different approach.
And it does not matter if your wife wants divorce for no reason, or if your wife is having a mid-life crisis, depressed and wants a divorce, or if your wife cheated and wants divorce - this approach has worked for all my clients, and it will work for you as well.
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Пікірлер: 95
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
@cameronjoyce6545
@cameronjoyce6545 3 жыл бұрын
I’d like to get in contact with you if I can I dmed you on Instagram I don’t have Facebook
@RobManVids
@RobManVids 2 жыл бұрын
Please help. I am obsessed with saving our marriage. 8 months separated. Almost 31 years married. I want to do it the right way
@babydevilj
@babydevilj Жыл бұрын
Do you have payment plan for your class? Would love to take it but I can’t take that much of a hit right now
@chadhatter
@chadhatter 2 жыл бұрын
This channel is quickly becoming my favorite resource on the changes I need to make within myself in order to prepare for my next relationship. After decades of failed relationships and failed attempts to salvage those relationships with every partner I've had, I'm beginning to understand where I went wrong and how my obsessing over "getting her back" EVERY TIME pushed them all away. Your videos have been so helpful. I'm shocked that you currently have less than 20k subscribers!
@JoseSuarez-ni5su
@JoseSuarez-ni5su 3 жыл бұрын
Geoffrey I believe your content might be one of the best on KZbin for relationship advice and mentorship. With out a doubt the most underrated for sure. Psychological Safety is one I hear you speak a lot about along side emotion safety. I can’t seem to find any good psychological safety content anywhere and I’m sure you’d be the best to explain not only what it is and how it’s important, but on how to practice it. Thank you so much for all the help from me and my relationship!
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Happy that I could help.
@savage308win
@savage308win 2 жыл бұрын
In my limited experience. I believe you’re absolutely correct.
@npwarr2651
@npwarr2651 28 күн бұрын
This and marriage helper is fantastic. Only ones I watch
@Doctor.Dentista
@Doctor.Dentista Жыл бұрын
😩😩😩😩I have to listen to this on repeat. I’ve been blowing it for 5 months because I’m needy
@biersmorgen6609
@biersmorgen6609 5 ай бұрын
Stop now! Snapl out of it she's just testing you and ur failing but there's still hope just treat her like u just met her and focus on whatever it takes to get self worth and efficacy. Messed up and pushed and got the im getting a divorce leave....but I finally got rid of those triggers with one of Geoffs internal shifts videos
@coldinfusion
@coldinfusion 3 жыл бұрын
I just really want to say thanks for not using ads for your videos. Awesome videos man, really helpful.
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Hi AK, You are welcome! Happy all the videos have been helpful… Thank you.
@thingsandstuff9529
@thingsandstuff9529 Жыл бұрын
You're way ahead of everyone else on KZbin on this topic. Thank you
@menielove5506
@menielove5506 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Geoffrey! You're making me feel better.
@DrizzyJuize
@DrizzyJuize 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Geoffrey for touching up on this topic. I like the way you broke it down. I initially was obsessing my broken relationship to get back with my ex and now I had to shift the motivation and relax about obsessing over the relationship. Because it was just going down hill unintentionally. Now I feel like things are slowly getting better. I know the relationship will be worth it but it takes some time. By continuing to listen to your wisdom I've definitely learned a lot about what I needed to improve on. Thank you for doing what you do.
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Happy to help!
@ApolloTheWarden
@ApolloTheWarden 3 жыл бұрын
Thank for the constant videos they're keeping me afloat right durning these very difficult times and giving me hope when I thought there was none. I joined the Facebook page and all of this has helped me the last few days since I found you. Thank you
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Happy to help!
@peterfichtner1
@peterfichtner1 Жыл бұрын
Feeling a little needy this morning this is just what I needed thank you
@jaredvaughan1665
@jaredvaughan1665 3 жыл бұрын
Great video. You are going to get much much bigger.
@nattybushdoctor9021
@nattybushdoctor9021 3 жыл бұрын
You sir, are a Godsend. Hitting the nail on the head every time. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Natty, You are welcome brother! Thank you for the positive feedback, really appreciate it.
@hellomynameis7994
@hellomynameis7994 2 жыл бұрын
I've been watching a lot of your videos and everything is starting to make sense just hope it's not too late for me to repair my relationship either way thank you for the knowledge I have been missing
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 2 жыл бұрын
Hey hello mynameis, it is never too late. I work with men and woman who have been divorced for multiple years and get their partner's back. Try signing up for my free 90 min master class. Link below. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
@Unxpekted
@Unxpekted Жыл бұрын
Doing the masterclass today, definitely been obsessing way too much over getting my ex back. The long distance layer + 6 years together has made it difficult, emotionally draining, and painful to understand. Side note, the FB group link under the video description seems to be broken.
@lincolnclaro8668
@lincolnclaro8668 3 жыл бұрын
i just wanna say, don't stop making vids men. you're the best! your words and knowledge do help a lot of people. god bless 🙏🏻
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
I appreciate that!
@walidb123
@walidb123 3 жыл бұрын
Super useful video Geoffrey. Really helped calm my nerves and keep focused on working on myself. Can you talk about how to approach your partner once you've agreed to give them space? I feel like this is very time-sensitive and tricky. It sounds like a paradox but she recently messaged me while she takes space but I didn't get too excited and matched her level of effort - not sure what was the best thing to do. Thanks!
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
You can turn things around by changing how you interact and communicate. The free master class will show you processes and the best thing to do.🙂
@rodolforodriguez8808
@rodolforodriguez8808 3 жыл бұрын
You’re the best!
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@Luvnap
@Luvnap 3 жыл бұрын
Long distance makes things even more difficult it seems
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Brandon, You can still continue to build safety & trust even in LDR. Once you follow the processes and remain consistent in the way you interact & communicate she will eventually gravitate towards you…
@fishstickbio594
@fishstickbio594 Жыл бұрын
Not all people are going to die of old age in a marriage . A happy marriage is when both parties are working on themselves and the focus is on the other party only …..usually in long therm relationship men cheat in different ways on that female he once loved , cherished and was loyal ….. this destroys the trust and safety and it goes in circles until the divorce comes . For any man who truly want a happy marriage till death …..stay focused on your wife ONLY ….say and DO things that makes HER HAPPY! I hope someone one day gets inspired to be a great husband by reading this comment . 🙏🏻
@jondevadas5762
@jondevadas5762 Жыл бұрын
Hey Geoffrey i have been enjoying your videos. Im currently going through a separation with my wife. We are taking some time apart so she can make a decision of whether she wants to stay in this relationship. Your videos have helped me so much in working on myself and building myself. I just wanted to check. I have signed up for the masterclass multiple times but have not received and links or notifications in my email. Pls help.
@ArunAbrahamKY
@ArunAbrahamKY 2 жыл бұрын
thank you
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 2 жыл бұрын
Appreciate the support and the comment.
@brandonfoutch8178
@brandonfoutch8178 2 жыл бұрын
Wife and I been on a break for 3 months at first she was not talking to me at all even when dropping off kids. She has said divorce 6 times when I tried to talk to her about the problem I stopped bringing it up she still has not filed...that I know of. I feel like now shes starting to want to talk more now and shes not acting in a rush to go. Said she needs to find herself but is not really doing anything.
@brandonfoutch8178
@brandonfoutch8178 2 жыл бұрын
And conversations are a little awkward but I have not been making them awkward but I feel she has her guard up. Keep in mind she said i broke her.
@Zayn913
@Zayn913 Жыл бұрын
I would do a fast and focus on self and change for the better. You having children with her gives you the advantage of showcasing your changes.
@jachooi66
@jachooi66 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing Geoff! Question here is - while I’m working on improving myself, should I give us the space? No contact? How?? My partner says he see no hope & wants to move on Pls advise
@brucesmith320
@brucesmith320 5 ай бұрын
I pushed her away to heal, she says understands. As painful as it was for her to accept. What can I do to not lose her forever😢😢
@jaredwhitaker2795
@jaredwhitaker2795 6 ай бұрын
This taught me how I was being manipulative by being outcome oriented. I see how it's all for personal gain.
@KeithCanisius
@KeithCanisius Жыл бұрын
So glad I came out of the no contact BS and found your site!
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan Жыл бұрын
Yep! We have to wake up! Stop playing aloof, hoping one day our partners will see value in us. We must create the right type of value, the type that can not be easily faked, the type that is permanent and massive.
@lemetriouskelly957
@lemetriouskelly957 4 ай бұрын
Hello. My wife & I are separated & I want to save my marriage. I love her endlessly. And I don't want to lose her or my marriage. Everything in this video, I'm doing. I don't want to drive her away.......I want to draw her to me ..........HELP!!!
@The90Crew
@The90Crew 2 жыл бұрын
I have to agree with some comments below. Truly underrated content here. Geoffrey your videos are great. You are truly an expert on your content. Initially I could associate my ex with your videos and the signs.. but since then and after continually watching ive learned from your videos that I also was the problem. Is there anything you can help me with to make my changes genuine? Regardless of if I can get her back or not. I would love to have an opportunity for some 1 on 1 consultation and maybe mentorship from you. Please let me know if thats a possibility. We can talk via email or phone and I'm interested in your class. Hope to hear from you back and merry Christmas 😊
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 2 жыл бұрын
Hi The90Crew, Thank you and in case you didn't I mentor and work one on one with every single one of my clients, which is why I have to be selective on who I extend an invitation to. If you would like to learn more you can submit your application at the end of my free master class if you feel like working with me would be a good fit for you. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
@tommyturner8736
@tommyturner8736 3 жыл бұрын
I need your help Geoffrey
@andrewschaefer5123
@andrewschaefer5123 Жыл бұрын
What if they specifically ask you to back down and ti give them time/ space to heal?
@stevengonzales6288
@stevengonzales6288 3 жыл бұрын
Jeffrey you sure do know your stuff everything you said was right it’s been a year that I’ve been separated from my wife and you’re right I did look at the first videos when I went on KZbin and did the first things I seen on there and it doesn’t work because I want to be the front of the line maybe I was a little bit obsessed because I’ve been my wife for 25 years there’s no communication whatsoever except when she got our stimulus check he was in both our names so we had to go to the bank and cash it that’s the only time I’ve seen her in one year and I had nothing to say to her I just wanted you to do and get out of there because I feel and see no love there anymoreI am almost over her but that’s what everybody tells me I need to do
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Steven, Thank you for your kind words. Really Appreciate it! It does take some time for your emotions to heal. You will grow and become the BEST version of yourself.
@traceycollins4486
@traceycollins4486 2 жыл бұрын
How are supposed to ti handle real life responsibilities during this time of rebuild and growth?
@eddie02smith
@eddie02smith 2 жыл бұрын
How do I work on my self when I'm running out of time and she'll divorce me this week?
@Luvnap
@Luvnap 3 жыл бұрын
I am here to get my partner back ofc she’s been such a amazing person in my life but all I want to be is my best me all around not just for her but for myself!! Because that’s what matters most.
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Brandon, Continue to work on becoming the best! She will eventually notice once you have the right changes.
@Different16
@Different16 Жыл бұрын
What if you don't feel like it was all your fault?
@krperez_drumwell82
@krperez_drumwell82 2 жыл бұрын
Geoffrey, you make great content! I don’t think your program can help me.. I’ve done quite a bit of appealing to my wife “logical side” saying thing like.. “I’ve never been soo serious about fighting for my marriage” her response is… “I know you’re serious, I’m done still” as he’s already filled for divorce and seeing someone else…. I’m totally a mess right now.. I’m trying to keep the hope by truthfully working on myself and not worry so much about the outcome.
@isaiahhernandez8160
@isaiahhernandez8160 Жыл бұрын
How has it gone?
@krperez_drumwell82
@krperez_drumwell82 Жыл бұрын
@@isaiahhernandez8160 not good
@isaiahhernandez8160
@isaiahhernandez8160 Жыл бұрын
@@krperez_drumwell82 I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you’re doing better now.
@Bellaexe5091
@Bellaexe5091 2 жыл бұрын
Can we get one on one talks?
@tomparis258
@tomparis258 8 ай бұрын
I need help!!! im dying inside
@rayray5472
@rayray5472 3 жыл бұрын
Did you think the past (20 yrs ago) is important to be brought up in the present time...
@andrewrodriguez7727
@andrewrodriguez7727 3 жыл бұрын
After 20yrs bro, I think it'd be best to leave it in the past. I'm the same way, if you bring old stuff up she'll only pull away even further. Even if she was in the wrong. I'm going thru it right now too. Trying my best to get my baby back. That what truly matters. The present.
@sbecker334
@sbecker334 3 жыл бұрын
My wife tells me to my face that we are working on things, but she is secretly buying and sending things for the other guy. She tells her friends and family that we are getting a divorce. She states he is her end goal! How do I deal with and handle that? How do I address this kind of issue? Please help me!!!
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
You can change her mind by changing how you interact and communicate with her and appeal to her emotions. Join the free masterclass and enroll in the course to learn the processes that many of our clients have followed.
@chiamakaoleru4413
@chiamakaoleru4413 3 жыл бұрын
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean
@chiamakaoleru4413
@chiamakaoleru4413 3 жыл бұрын
I can connect you to someone who helped me attract my ex partner back to me after separation
@chiamakaoleru4413
@chiamakaoleru4413 3 жыл бұрын
What.xap
@chiamakaoleru4413
@chiamakaoleru4413 3 жыл бұрын
✝ 234>70>82>79>60>68▪
@zubinpatel4421
@zubinpatel4421 3 жыл бұрын
Honestly if you have to change yourself so much, is it worth to even save the relationship? Sure if you need to grow for better, go ahead! But I think it's also good to figure out which one of you need to grow, it's it you, your partner, or both of you? Maybe your partner is leaving you so they can grow as a better person. It might not even have anything to do with you! Just look at the bigger picture first before you go into the full "identity change" mode!
@zubinpatel4421
@zubinpatel4421 3 жыл бұрын
What do you think Geoffrey?
@GeoffreySetiawan
@GeoffreySetiawan 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Zubin, The main focus is to make the genuine permanent changes to become the best version of yourself empowered with the skills & knowledge to build and maintain a thriving relationship. You can’t control what your partner says or do, but you can positively influence your partners behavior by changing the way you interact and communicate. At the end of the day, the choice really comes down to you to make the final decision to stay and save the relationship or move on if you have done the work to become the BEST version of yourself.
@inserter400
@inserter400 3 жыл бұрын
Hi all , Geoffrey Got the papers that my wife has filed for divorce today. Is it too late to turn it around ?
@davidbailey1718
@davidbailey1718 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely not, I'm in the program, and my has gone from wanting me to rot in hell to where we're sharing deep warm embraces. This program is legit
@inserter400
@inserter400 3 жыл бұрын
@@davidbailey1718 cheers David all the best on your journey
@inserter400
@inserter400 3 жыл бұрын
@@davidbailey1718 can't see a way back 😥
@davidbailey1718
@davidbailey1718 3 жыл бұрын
@@inserter400 nonsense, did you join the program? I'm back after just 4 months. Still plenty of work to do
@chiamakaoleru4413
@chiamakaoleru4413 3 жыл бұрын
@@inserter400 Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean
@npwarr2651
@npwarr2651 28 күн бұрын
Should be taught in schools damn.
@shanepotter6067
@shanepotter6067 3 жыл бұрын
17 years with this woman, and I'm losing hope
@CARNUT777
@CARNUT777 3 жыл бұрын
16, same 😥
@jessemcmacmcmanx3969
@jessemcmacmcmanx3969 2 жыл бұрын
What's the status now?
@shanepotter6067
@shanepotter6067 2 жыл бұрын
@@jessemcmacmcmanx3969 working on things
@tb87670
@tb87670 Жыл бұрын
@@shanepotter6067 How is it going? Did anything in particular help the most?
@shanepotter6067
@shanepotter6067 Жыл бұрын
@@tb87670 pretending I moved on, which I did but I still cared, we got back together
@bucknasty1390
@bucknasty1390 2 ай бұрын
What happens when your wife is already in a sexual relationship with someone else? Is it still my fault that's she's cheating?
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