How to Deal With the Fear of Never Finding Your Person

►► Want to Make 2024 The Year You Find Love?
Join My Free Virtual Event Find Your Person on May 4. . .
→ www.LoveLifeBook.com
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my KZbin channel now.
I post new love life advice for you every weekend.
▼
I’ve been asked this question several times a week for the last 10+ years. You may feel SO ready to share your life with someone . . . only to have had dates that fizzled out or incompatible relationships . . . or perhaps you’ve remained single with no such person on the horizon. It can even begin to feel like that’s the way it will always be.
If you’re working through feelings of longing, loneliness, or sadness-or just want to feel more excited about dating-in today’s new video, I share 3 tools that will help you effectively manage those difficult emotions, and give you real hope for the future.
►► Pre-Order My New Book, "Love Life" at → www.LoveLifeBook.com
►► FREE Video Training: “Dating With Results” → www.DatingWithResults.com
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.matthewhussey.com/blog/
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Instagram → / thematthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey
▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 - 2:32 - What If It Never Happens for Me?
2:32 - 4:20 - Dealing With Chronic Pain
4:20 - 5:16 - The Desire to Find Another Person
5:16 - 8:57 - #1 Everything Changes
8:57 - 11:28 - #2 Surrender
11:28 - 13:57 - “Happy Enough”
13:57 - 16:12 - #3 Pay Attention to the Modulations in Your Pain
16:12 - 17:51 - Find Your Person
17:51 - 19:02 - Love Life!

[@user-xu3ev3je4t]

Surrender is the best way to put it, I stopped trying to make things happen with someone, I’m focusing on myself right now… this is very empowering 😊

[@thematthewhussey]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@queeraf1983]

I'm a 40 year old divorcee. I've been telling myself FOR YEARS that I'd never get remarried because I have no desire, but the reality is that all I want is to be married again. So instead of pretending marriage isn't what will make me happy, I got honest with myself. I do want to be married and I want a husband who makes me feel safe and loved. I'm now looking for a man who will make me happy and who has similar values and wants from their life.

[@qwertpoo1]

I think youll be surprised how many men have similar values and wants as you. Just give one a chance

[@Whoeverwhateverwhenever]

@@qwertpoo1 They don't want to date someone who is 40 though

[@queeraf1983]

@qwertpoo1 I did meet someone about 2 weeks ago. He's also divorced and a single father. We want similar things and share core values. It's early, but we're communicating and being honest about what we both want so we are going to see where it goes. I'm optimistic ☺️

[@queeraf1983]

@Whoeverwhateverwhenever a real man will date women around his age. I'm not interested in men who act like they need a 25 year old bimbo. I'm a good wife. I want to take care of my man and my family, and I'm uninterested in boys looking for games.

[@qwertpoo1]

@@queeraf1983 that's awesome good for you guys. I hope I can find a relationship like that

[@talesfromtheroad9530]

Ugh the 10 pm in bed in the dark is the worst. Having someone you love next to you is such a beautiful gift.

[@2dogsahooman677]

I have just accepted it is what it is. I’m not closed to finding my person but accept I cannot let it rule my life and forget to live my life. I will always be open but refuse to stay a slave to it. 🤷‍♀️

[@thematthewhussey]

Love the way you put it!

[@PawcassoArtz]

Great perspective... Bravo! 👏👏

[@2dogsahooman677]

@@Yeodoongiiie no I disagree. Life is what you make it. Many people live quality and exceptional lives but make compromises. Having perspective and accepting what it is enables you to appreciate all that life has to offer. Having a partner may bring additional joy but being content within yourself is the prime driver for enjoyment. No one else can make you happy. 🤷‍♀️.

[@Yeodoongiiie]

@@2dogsahooman677 no. No one else should be solely responsible for your happiness. But we need each other. Life’s no fun without each other. I mean even Matthew have said that many times. He even says he wants us to be “happy ENOUGH” single… but would he ever himself be fully happy had he not met Audrey ? I just think SURE. I’m can be happy right now. But never as much as I know I could be if I had kids and a man. (In that order 😄) I think we harden our hearts because we feel like we have to. We say YOU MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. Not anyone else. To me, that’s armor. When you are 70 and look back on your life and you never got a family. Will that not be a grief to you? If not… good for you. Truly. But it will be a forever loss for me.

[@Yeodoongiiie]

@dinahn6955 are you schizophrenic or something??? you're literally the one insulting me and i'm saying sarcastically thanks for being so rude..

[@Specialkfree]

This is your now, not your forever. ❤ The only constant is change

[@drsloan]

It’s all about the stories we tell ourselves isn’t it? I’m 64, 2 years single after a long slow sad breakup after 29 years of marriage, and I’ve been thinking “I’m old, I’m running out of time, I might get ill soon” etc etc. After some rather frantic dating through apps, I’m only now starting to surrender into just BEING. I’m beginning to relax for the first time in decades, and can truly think about what life I want, instead of what SHE wants, or trying to figure out how WE can mutually compromise to make something work. Thanks Matt, this video is truly validating.

[@aatonnaa4958]

I am 40 and definitely there. I have stopped waiting for my hypothetic Person to craft my future with him. It's all about making what suits me now

[@susanparkes5096]

It's not the stories we tell ourselves, its the real ones we live day to day. After 40 years of trying to make a largely unhappy marriage work, I too have been on dating apps but for over 8 years. Years of tortuous dates and a few disastrous relationships and I'm still alone. Change does happen but every change seems to be for the worse each time, so maybe I should just stick with the current depressing situation. I've already worked out the life I want, and it's not available to me.

[@nancyh.570]

I’m 62…twelve years divorced….one fairly serious relationship that I couldn’t fully commit to, going to watch this video and hopefully get some insight.

[@victorwilliams111]

The thing is - this fear - it never really quite goes away even when you find someone. You're afraid you won't find your person. Then you're afraid the person you've found isn't the right person because of all the ways they're flawed. And/ Or you're afraid they'll leave you because you're flawed. You're afraid you'll loose them. You're afraid of the fights and conflicts and misalignments. The fear itself is what you work on really - single or not

[@mehezabin]

Sometimes I feel God speaks to me through such KZbin recommendations 😊

[@michellekieffer1978]

omg same exact thought the second I saw this video😧

[@thematthewhussey]

I’m glad you’re here!

[@patriciacoelho325]

I felt the same!

[@mehezabin]

@@thematthewhussey thank you, always! Much love! 🤗🤗

[@DS-kh2wk]

God will certainly help.

[@elena-jp6ge]

Core confidence is most important Make your life happy with yourself, small steps. It is possible. Clean something, go for a walk, start exercising, 5 min is enough for a start. Today we have, and it is happening now, never repeating, don't throw it on despair. Yes, lm single and it hurts. Can l change something about it right now? No. Can l do something in the future, or now? Yes. It hurts, but lm gonna do me, l cannot change the hurting, but l can do this and this and that. And you will be proud of yourselves. And that is guys a ninja level 👑 Your heart opens up, and life opens up

[@toyajohnson6290]

I needed this today. I'm 47 (6 months to 48) & the older I get, the more I feel like it will never happen. No one talks about the heartbreak of not becoming a mother due to age. I've always wanted children, but I think carrying a child is probably out of reach right now. I haven't had a relationship since 2020 & haven't been on a date since 2022. Even weirder is that I'm a wedding manager (I really love my job). It's beautiful to see couples pledge their life to each other. I've started going on solo vacations this year to shift my life, and I'm hoping that brings new experiences. But it's tough & it's ok to feel the loss of what could have been. Just as long as I don't stay in it because then I really feel like I won't heal

[@voice_of_a_little_lady]

We have different jobs, I'm 46, & I haven't had a real relationship since 2014, but otherwise I sooo resonate with your comment and feel the same. All the best to you💙

[@toyajohnson6290]

@voice_of_a_little_lady , all the best to you, too. It's a true and real hurt - it's the disappointment of something you never had. But that doesn't mean we can't hope for it still

[@KDK1207]

Yes. I feel the same as you.

[@VioletEmerald]

​@@voice_of_a_little_lady Many women are choosing to become single mothers by choice these days before it's too late. Why is it so hard for people to find a partner, I do wonder. It's scary and sad. I'm "only" 34 years old and my path I want to be on is one of foster parenthood and adoption, maybe step parenthood. I'm queer -- I'm a sex-averse asexual -- so my dating pool is about the size of a puddle, even though I'm open to dating people of any gender. Most aces don't want kids so it's really shrunk and it's just. It would be easier maybe to mourn something that's truly impossible now to happen than to keep living in this limbo of hoping for a co-parenting partner and a life path that I really do desire.

[@PoojaGupta-vp1dr]

I feel the same too and just 2 days the person who I was hopeful for this time, said he can't take this further as he's a vegetarian and I won't be able to cope with not eating non vegetarian food I don't eat non vegetarian food on a regular basis just once a fortnight or so) in his house and other rituals that are followed in his home since I am.not brought up that way. This was discussed in our initial days and we did come to a conclusion. But then 2 days ago he just called off everything.

[@aatonnaa4958]

I am almost 40. I tried for 9 years to find my person. Hard to believe that such a positive thing as wanting to love and to be loved led me to almost end my life because of catastrophic disappontments. After so many incompatibilities and rejections, I have started to imagine my life single forever and the prospects are also exciting. Some days it is tough to bury that big dream but I am getting along with that new vision. Now I wonder if there is even still a place in my life for a partner. Thank you for the hope of this video and for me lets see. At least I am in control of my life now.

[@fullhouseyep]

Thank you for sharing. You have a good outlook, very important to remember to focus on the things we can control, not the things we can’t :)

[@tishataray]

Thanks 4 being vulnerable..i felt the same

[@DS-kh2wk]

for such a young man, Matthew speaks wisdom beyond his years. Love from Scotland.

[@zburcutunali]

Last night i was in my bed crying and praying to god,please take away my need to be with someone, to love and be loved by someone, it's just painful:( this morning i open you tube and there you are talking about a woman who exactly feels the same way i do. Thank you for reminding that "everything changes" My biggest challenge is to surrender. From now on, i will pray to god to help me surrender to my current circumstance🙏 Also i will buy your book if it's sold here in Turkiye. Thanks for being there Matthew❤️

[@Pffffffffffffffffffffff]

Thank you Matthew. I received your book yesterday! Being single for years and years is so hard, especially when almost everyone around me is in a stable, happy couple. But yeah I accept the pain of it, what else can I do? I've suffered worst things in my life. I do all I can to enjoy my life and keep on learning and working on being someone that I am proud of. I keep moving and meeting new people, I'm not afraid.

[@thematthewhussey]

You are so welcome. And I’m so excited you received the book already! Feel free to post a story on Instagram and tag me and I’ll share it! ❤

[@Pffffffffffffffffffffff]

@@thematthewhussey I'm not on Instagram but I can do it on Facebook. It'll be in French, I'm from Montréal ;)

[@raniamohammed1437]

The book is out????!!!

[@Pffffffffffffffffffffff]

@@raniamohammed1437 I'd pre-ordered it and it was delivered to me yesterday!

[@runninggal86]

@thematthewhussey I have been following you for years! We met in Boston in 2014 and in your first book you wrote Never Settle! I truly believed that and made sure I would stick to that! For almost 14 years of dating on the apps and dating events and went thru two short and toxic relationships, I thought that my life would never change. I was ok being by myself and not relying on any guy to make me happy but to add to my life and happiness. I truly thought that my life would keep me single. I also went thru very difficult jobs including one that I thought my mental health state would come to an end. Eventually, that job ended and I found a new one. As of almost three months I have been in a wonderful job where I feel secure and relaxed. I feel that I can finally be accepted for who I am and unexpectedly one night in March that all changed! I met and continued to date a wonderful man! I finally feel that I found someone who can accept me exactly who I am (the good bad and ugly) a sense of peace, and feeling with safety! I FINALLY feel that my life is where I want to be and knowing that all of my hard work to be the best in a relationship has finally paid off! He asked me to be his girlfriend this past weekend and I now feel that this special guy has added joy to my life and activities that I used to do myself; I now can add him! So, thank you for your videos all these years since they have helped me thru saddness, heartbreak, and to finally joy! We are even thinking about what our long term and life goals will be and one thing for sure is we see a wonderful and happy future together! ❤

[@Cliffy_Boy]

I work with 3 divorced men in their 60's. They married the love of their life and had two kids, boy and girl. One wife cheated, one ended up hating her husband, and the other left him for providing for their family illegally. Because of them I really learned there are no guarantees with ANYONE.

[@tamtamz8733]

I’m so sad because of a major disappointment. It’s to the point that I found myself thinking what it would be like if I wasn’t here anymore (would people even care or notice?) and what I would write in my goodbye letter. That scared me so I made an appointment to see a therapist this coming week. But the part of this video that got me is when Matthew said to think back to a time when you were at your saddest and how things changed. That’s the only thing I can do to give me hope right now. I’ve been here before and I’m able to look back at the previous situation and see how much happier I was after getting through the pain.

[@tishataray]

Same girl same

[@jenmascaro4014]

Very helpful! I’m 44 and have had one bad relationship after another in the past 5-6 years. People I treated well. I sometimes feel I’ll never meet someone who’s genuinely good and maybe also sick of games or sneakiness. But things do change. New people appear in our lives all the time. A genuinely good person with good intentions must be out there somewhere. A month or year from now, perhaps I’ll be with him. I’ll try to enjoy my life in the interim.

[@DS-kh2wk]

I pray you find him too.

[@michelleg925]

There are so many people around the world in this position, it's mind blowing.

[@R.James.]

Not everywhere, it's purely a western issue. Who's to blame for this? Which gender is hypergamous, always looking for something better, never happy with what they have, always complaining? Which of the two has always remained the same and which one has changed since pretty much the past ~70 years? It's women and all because of feminism. Your own empowerment, caused you to be more unhappy in dating, because your standards keep getting higher and higher until the point you will never be content with any men, because you're chasing the men in a fairytale. In reality no men exist that check all the million boxes women have selected. And at the same time feminism has also feminized men. Take accountability and deal with the consequences.

[@iambiggus]

It took me decades, but I've finally figured out that being lonely is multitudes better than being miserable in a bad relationship. I was always too distracted by all the other stuff going on to actually realize it. At 45 and now single, I'm realizing it's time for me to figure things out, not rush into anything, and just accept that being a little lonely is part of the process.

[@f.sjoyce646]

I write down on my note pad what ever hurts me, or put me in such a way , then I read it or take a break one or two days and read back when I feel confident or calm and correct myself. This made me feel better.

[@aishaw9409]

What you are explaining is another word for HOPE. We must have hope that things will get better. The pain WILL eventually get better.

[@annamerey6735]

And from this mindset of surrender I can look for what I want and not chasing for somebody or waiting to be found by somebody.

[@terryfification]

Thank you so much ❤ I’ve been single for 4 years, I do go on dates from time to time but it never clicks. At this point I’m so tired of trying though and decided to just let it go, I do love my life as it is, love my friends and my job and hobbies, I wish all the singles here happiness and love, no matter from whom you get it, life can so happy even without a partner, but sometimes it’s gets so lonely and sad and I just let it be like this and letting myself feeling this sadness going through it and then it passes❤

[@everyvisionallowed5276]

Fifteen years ago Iwrote down what I have, what I am, what I want and what I have to do (or let go) to achieve the things I wanted. I achieved everything I wanted and lost a good amount of it currently. Now I realize: I had to get rid of it because now I am in a better place mentally and open to a change. I am no longer co-dependent and finally able to be who I really am. Feels like a weight was lifted from my heart and body (that also removed my chronic back pain). Still work to do, but I am happy now.

[@KarynCsencsits]

I NEVER comment on podcasts, but I stumbled on your message & had to THANK YOU for your part in helping so many of us on this journey of Life. I am almost 70, & as of yet, I have not found my ‘Person’, & it hasn’t been for a lack of trying. Your message has been so helpful - your wisdom enlightening…. Bless you Matthew!

[@Melanie_M]

Beyond surrendering and choosing peace, it's also really helpful to understand your hormonal cycle (especially for women). Those hormones are often running havoc with our minds, where it makes us feel even more lonely, even more hopeless. I started tracking my cycle with a really good app, and it explains how a specific phase might impact our moods and physical symptoms. It has helped me understand myself better and have more empathy with myself when I feel certain ways throughout the months. Not saying it's solely responsible for that pain, but it gets amplified by our hormonal phases. I know Matthew might not be the right person to speak to this, but maybe Audrey could make a guest apperance in one of these videos.

[@littleamy20]

This is so true and it's a reality we overlook due to lack of awareness and lack of education on women's health. The reason I have awareness about hormones and my cycle is because I'm into fitness and female influencers try to educate about this. Bless them. Hopefully word will spread as even I get caught up in the lows of my luteal phases when they can be especially tough. Thank you for your important comment and this reminder

[@voice_of_a_little_lady]

100%. I'm perimenopause so it's a different kind of ball game now, but before that I used to feel almost like a different person each of the four different weeks of the month because of hormonal fluctuations. It was crazy.

[@littleamy20]

@voice_of_a_little_lady totally! Being a woman is a rollercoaster. We get testosterone ~5/28 days yet men get some every 15 mins?! Such different realities. I definitely feel so different week over week. I'm about to order saffron as I've been reading about brain and overall mood benefits for women

[@annaholden2406]

Thank you for turning your deep, severe pain into something beautiful, and using that to help comfort millions. Having hope shouldn't feel lonely 😕 yet I am completely alone in my hope. Looking forward to your book. 🌱

[@thematthewhussey]

Can’t wait for you to read it Anna ❤🧡. Thank you for being here.

[@VICTORIA-bb1dz]

Surrender is the most difficult concept to hear, but I realize that it is what I have been attempting to do all this time. That makes it the most helpful at the same time. I wish I could stop thinking about my singleness as much as I do, like obliterate the thought lol. Thank you so much Matt for sharing this today❤ Gonna watch this a few times and get that book!

[@thematthewhussey]

I hear you Victoria. You’re not alone. We are with you. And I can’t wait for you to read the book, there are so many tools in there that are going to help with exactly this. Much love ❤

[@2008LadyLaura]

Wow, such a handsome and intelligent man is vulnerable and was struggling. Even someone like you is human despite having all of that.

[@deliapasqualini970]

Surrender to find again a peaceful way to be. Finally I learnt it and, to be honest, is the greatest achievement of my life.

[@playginn]

10 years and nothing has changed😢

[@cawi8450]

Same here 😢

[@voice_of_a_little_lady]

We should start the 10 year club 😂; I'm right there with ya!

[@KDK1207]

Same

[@VioletEmerald]

​@@voice_of_a_little_lady Get out there and start living more if you really feel like NOTHING has changed.

[@voice_of_a_little_lady]

@@VioletEmerald I hear ya, & I have. I used to date heavily, lived in multiple states, etc. Unfortunately 6 day a week job + now medical 💩 like chronic fatigue = getting out there a lot tougher. I'm always like, I'll try to do 1 thing a bit different today then end up in bed at 6pm 😆

[@camontoy]

Brilliant! There are so many good moments in this talk, that I will need to immediately replay it. Thank you!

[@tylermuir9170]

I know you're content is mainly geared towards helping women but i feel like as a man, the advice you give is incredibly helpful and what i really needed at the moment.

[@patriciacoelho325]

Matt, this is most powerful video I've ever seen on the topic. Thank you!

[@nickcurtis9504]

I just placed my order. Excited to read this and to get my love life on track. The most recent breakup really did a number on me.

[@SK-jv7ez]

Thank you, there was nothing new to me, but you put all your energy in and I felt that. It truely touched my heart🙏💫

[@christineanyalai5008]

I'm 62 and would love to have a relationship. But yes, I'm afraid it's too late. Which is really sad to think this part of my life is over.

[@elena-jp6ge]

Never is too late

[@creativejapanese]

Hello! I wanted to share a story of my family. My grandfather met love of his life at 73, his lady was around 64 at that time. They met on a dating app, can you imagine? My grandfather was married twice, but true love came to his life in the late years. They are very, very happy together now. So, I really wish you best of luck. Don’t give up! I hope you will find the person you will be happy with❤

[@tiff965]

Thank you for guiding us closer to healing and a more fruitful life, right where we are 🌿

[@reneejill4033]

This is very helpful. Thank you for the guidance. I have a moment where I just surrender to the universe. I know, I will meet my person one day some day. I’m following my North Star. I believe in it.

[@cindyasmat5803]

This one was my favorite! So true, everything changes, surrender and enjoy the present

[@marialange7778]

Dearest Matthew, let's hope that more and more people will learn from your wisdom. I tell many others about you. Thank you for making this world a better place!

[@rajkhatri8131]

Hello my friend! :) This was a brilliant video! I owe you drinks and a meal at your favorite restaurant. I got lots of family out in London and was checking with everyone to see when they are free next. I really appreciate you creating this! Last summer I was in a complete mess and was constantly watching videos online but I got out of it and moved forward with someone special. For anyone on here that is struggling to find their person, don't worry it will come to you I promise. Our thoughts are energy and everything on this planet is energetically connected. We attract what we think. Sustaining love is the final step but the step that never ends. All the answers are right in front of us, our partner tells us the answers but often times in relationships people are caught up in their own minds and don't see things in their partner's point of view. Break ups occur gradually, emotional disconnection doesn't happen overnight it's a slow process. Self reflection never ends. Mindset is where everything starts.

[@em4634]

Thank you so much for this. It was perfect timing 🙏🏻🙏🏻 You are the best 💙

[@kimberleyayache5408]

This video was exactly what I needed today. Keen for the book release this week!

[@anastasiadrpn2810]

Mathew you make people feel so much better everytime you speak

[@thematthewhussey]

Thank you for saying that!

[@thematthewhussey]

Hey everyone! Thank you for the insightful and vulnerable comments on this video. I really appreciate all of you being here, especially in such a big week for me and my team! For anyone who hasn’t preordered a copy of my new book Love Life, it’s out in 2 days!! (April 23rd). Visit www.LoveLifeBook.com to get your copy and register for the free bonuses that come with it before they expire! Happy reading!! 📕 ❤️🧡💛

[@Melanie_M]

Might be worth pinning this comment, so everyone can see it :)

[@yanjelizperez8729]

I'm a disabled woman. How can I navigate dating in a world hyper focused on looks?

[@everyvisionallowed5276]

I can see clearly now the pain is gone 😂I am currently on my mission to build a good life for myself and I have never been happier. ❤ Life is good and I am optimistic that my significant other will appear when it is right for me.

[@allmarknobite8726]

Thanks, Matt, for another useful Sunday morning message. Can't wait for the book to arrive on Tuesday. 🙃 My thoughts… on surrendering to the idea that what I have in front of me today can be different, even if only in a directional way, from next month. And this gives me more space to explore the possibilities. Meaning, hope resides in appreciating what's going well now, while acknowledging that things can be “even better” if, as in your words, I am living aggressively and focusing on being “happy enough.” I can work with that.

[@alicjaptak7087]

Hi Matt, I wanted to thank you for the quality work you do. You helped me with my relationship with relationships in a life-altering way twice already. The first time around 2019, when through your videos I learned how to be secure in dating and love. I have found love and I loved him deeply for the past four years. I think I have been to him an amazing partner but I have also been my best self in general. Unfortunetly I had to return to your videos again because I found out recently that he has been cheating on me for at least 2 years. BUT lessons you taught me helped me to put myself first this time, too. Now, as you say, I surrender to the pain, but I do it with a clear conscience, as I know I have a good kind love to share with the world.

[@hagarahmed6641]

Thank you matthew you really helped me think about it differently❤️

[@Denise-oy7er]

Modulation was the one for me! Thank you. Can’t wait to get the book!!!

[@marilynoverton8142]

Amazing content! Thank you so much, Matthew. My favorite tip is the first--that everything changes. The other two tips are brilliant as well. You are a light in the world, and I appreciate you!

[@lisahouse7770]

VERY well said. Also, like the idea of paying attention to our modulations, Very helpful. ❤

[@janecamilon489]

All of them are helpful. Thank you, Matthew.

[@eringobragh7]

After several relationships with toxic men, I’m in therapy and healing. I’m definitely not ready for a relationship right now though I watched one of your videos this morning Matthew and so pre-ordered your book. Thank you in advance! Éireann 🤗

[@kirstisamuelsen3712]

Thank you Matthew for mentioning us at 50 pluss. You have such a compassion to help people Of course you also make good money And you deserve it.

[@dr.shaheenhealthcare9054]

You are amazing Matt. I love your videos. You are doing great work in a beautiful way.

[@cinderling5472]

Wow... This is amazing 🙏😍 Thank you

[@gurinderbudwal8324]

I needed to hear this today ❤

[@wangying2352]

Hey Matthew, Thanks for the video, I can relate so much. I had been talking to a guy and thought that he might be different and he might be the one. I had so much hope that’s why I found it devastating when he ended things abruptly. I’m also the this stage where I’m longing to my person but also scared that I might not find them. This video came so timely. That’s what I need!

[@KakaoHammerhead]

Just felt like that yesterday after a visit from a person I'm romantically interested in. After that evening I felt so scared of the whole thing not working out, as I really started to feel involved and didn't want to be hurt again. It felt like I would always fail for the rest of my life, even though nothing had happened before. Thank you for this video and explaining how to get rid of this useless fear.

[@despoinagkika2495]

Thank you so much..🙏your kindness, compassion and wisdom is very helpful..😊So many people all over the world feeling lonely..😢

[@samanthagaboo5610]

Looking forward to the book, wish it dropped this weekend.

[@manpip1359]

I would love to see a video about the extreme fear of going on a date. After two failed long term relationships, dating, getting excited to offer or even getting to know someone feels so vain and scary. Right now, i basically feel like a clown for giving my energy or getting excited while on a date with someone for the first time. Of course thats totally unfair for them, but i feel hopeless even imagining doing this all over again. It just feels so awkward.

[@krishna335]

What's meant for you WILL come to you, no matter what.

[@Whoeverwhateverwhenever]

😂 of course not

[@qwertpoo1]

I wish women would stop thinking like this. Its so lazy lmao why dont you just try instead of waiting?

[@moviekris0426]

I can’t tell you how much I needed hear this! Most times, I feel like videos like this understand a small portion of what I’ve been feeling lately. But this video in particular felt like it was written directly to me: I am the 35-year old that still hopes to have a family of my own (well, I literally turn 35 this Friday 😅). I feel called out, in the best way-in the way I needed to be when you spoke about the ceremony. Also, paying attention to the modulations. It’s not always how it feels at the worst, and there’s a lot of life to live in those times ❤

[@patriciacoelho325]

I felt exactly the same (and I'm also in the exact same place - though I am already 35 since January). Every second of this video spoke to me. I felt so understood. Because I feel most people don't really get how much it hurts to be in this position.

[@PawcassoArtz]

*Happy Birthday!* 🥳🎉🥂 Keep the faith!

[@penelopemason3786]

Happy Birthday 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Wishing you all you wish for yourself Fun starts now 😊😊

[@mehdifromearth9630]

He is one of the best relationship advicors that i've ever seen. Gold things come out of your mouth Matthew

[@thecitizenjoan]

Its a subconscious thing for me. Some nights are harder than others. Whats helped me a lot in getting over him is working on myself and getting rid of and processing memories that caused me Low Self Worth & knowing Gods love for me. The books "Power of Now", "Are you the One for Me", and "Women Who Love Too Much", The Bible have changed my life entirely. I cant wait to read Matts book

[@tiffenybrown3006]

Thank you Matt!!!

[@polyglottria]

Hello Matthew, thanks for this video. I am single because in my last relationship I lost a child. Now I tried again but I was painfully ghosted and rejected. I am working on my relationship with myself by making everyday a good memory. I write a gratitude everyday about the good thing that happened to me. Greetings from France

[@chippychick6261]

You have an amazing gift at explaining the variations of the human condition 💛 with kindness and empathy

[@nanabucaros3430]

What an amazing video ❤

[@virgitropical]

Wow!!!!! Thank you ❤

[@Juicylock261]

This video just spoke to me in ways I can’t describe

[@my.little.cafe.bubble]

after experiences with narcissistic partner (consecutive).. i learned so much from it & i felt that i'm so done with it. it's so mentally emotionally damaging. but i wanted to learn (that's why i subscribed to your channel) esp. because of what happened. i didn't expect to feel the love again.. about the present is just an admiration, i have no plans for he is married (divorced). but in the eyes of the Almighty he's still married & not free to marry again. i'm fine & have accepted it. the punishment for those who violates is hellish (biblical). thank you Coach Matthew for educating women. so helpful & informative.

[@jennifers5778]

Everything changes is comforting.

[@katsiarynapakhomava1936]

“Everything changes” and “loose the ceremony” resonated with me the most. I totally do those things and now realize it’s completely irrational. Thinking back even 5 years, things change every year, so no way we can predict future based on the past..

[@pikapoka17]

Thank you ❤

[@kirstisamuelsen3712]

I can see that your wife respect you because you are still going strong despite what you have had of bad experiences. I know it goes both ways. It is such a joy to Watch the two of you.❤

[@pallawi]

This is exactly what I needed right now. Everything changes iss the easiest perspective to adopt and to surrender is the most difficult. And yes it does happen that way that sometimes my pain is at 10 and at other times, it is at 4. I will definitely make an effort to live more aggressively now and focus on making myself happy enough. After exiting an abusive relationship, my mental compass is all twisted and broken but I'm hoping to correct it with baby steps, one day at a time.

[@milarepa1234567]

Love to you Matthew, you do so much good.

[@melodygetcozy5616]

I much needed to hear this today. I'm also going through physical chronic pain now which is hard and this video helped.

[@larisamavromati3302]

You made some great points!! Thank you so much!! This video...slowly prepares and introduces me to your book Love Life❤️ which i'm impatiently waiting 😁 Now...in my* love life...i believe that, as odysseus did, i will eventually find my ithaca. I wish that for everyone. Btw the event on 4th May is Virtual? I am so excited 😀🙏

[@veronikatothova2307]

Thank you

[@kirstisamuelsen3712]

What made me feel good is that it is ok to want to long for someone special to love Even if you have a good life To never give up

[@hadiza1]

Good morning! 💛

[@hedvikakadlecova9355]

Thank you, surrender and live aggresively is way for me ...😢❤

[@hikintrailsndrinkinales]

Sure, listening to this made me feel a little better, but still not helpful. I’ve been “happily” single for about 14 years now and I met someone recently that completely upended that. I’m absolutely stupefied by the encounter and it really rocked me to my foundation. She’s gone 👻 and I’d give up anything to share that feeling again.

[@jessicaalmazan5447]

I can relate to a lot of what was said 🙏

[@juul6633]

Does getting the audiobook on audible count?? 😭 just finished it, so amazing !!

[@bronx452]

I really REALLY would like to buy your book but the only way I can "consume" books is the audiobook version..So came here to beg for it then googled and found it's available finally from tomorrow on!! Yaaay!! Thanks!🎉

[@yeuruuerueeheue]

I experience something similar, I’m 25 and afraid that I will never be the type of person worth staying for

[@Infactlove]

Surrendering is the best thing❤

[@mariabanholzer7942]

So true!!!!!

[@kirstisamuelsen3712]

I am doing all the «right» things with the one I am dating And he likes me and I still have to hold back Because he needs a challenge Because he is a man… I just want to say You are special and kind and I deeply care about you. God that is hard But I have learned my lesson

[@cinziasimonetti2978]

Bravissimo 👏 👏👏

[@mantaandreivladimir25]

I m 37 and i did not think it would be that hard to find love again

[@blackangel163]

Lol I entered, and I just want the sweater.😂 Florida sounds amazing, but I want a sweater.😅

[@despoinagkika2495]

Could I ask if your book has published in Greece?😊

[@mcm6563]

Hi to be honest I had this thought today tearing. ❤

[@mcm6563]

Tkank you ❤.