How to Get Over the Pain of Being Ghosted

[@johnsimmons831]

Anyone else up at 2am looking at ghosting videos? Stay strong, team :)

[@lolaispure4296]

Thanks❤😊

[@jimhooligan3263]

Right here..

[@susanpierce4711]

It's tough @@jimhooligan3263

[@Mvrsbby]

lol I literally have a final exam tomorrow

[@maretsaevellyn2624]

same i watch it now at 2.20 am indonesian times

[@sayuri3917]

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that when a guy is interested, he doesn't confuse you. And when he ghosts you, it doesn't matter what the reason is, the point is he's just not that into you and the longer you ruminate on it, the longer it will take you to find the right guy. Remember that right now someone is thinking about when he will find someone like you. Let's value the good guys.

[@DelseyRitzy]

Wow that was so beautiful said ❤ Felt good to hear 😊 The thing is also that many guys are not interested in any girl more than one night 😂 so we shouldn’t take it personal cause the players f boys that we often fall for unfortunately have done the same and gosted 1000 girls or more before us depending on their age and how often they hunt 😂🤥 They often meet one new girl every weekend so in one year they met like 50 girls 😂😳 And the more future faking and knowing to play the game and good at lying they are the more girls fall and get ghosted by these nasty narcissistic guys 🤢🫣 so thats also why they have a lot of enemies from ghosting 👻 but their karma is their own life and empty future 😂 If they were just honest from the beginning and said they didn’t want have a relationship they would yes miss out on some hook ups but they would have authenticity to themselves and others and wouldn’t have so many resentful hurt girls whom they played with their hearts without any empathy 🙅‍♀️ But the best revenge and also closure is to ignore him totally and not even write a message that we miss the guy after we met and I also think the guy should be a gentleman and write first but maybe I am just old fashioned 😂 Ghosting is an arrogant selfish un empathic way of closure but still a closure. My experience is that if the guy hasn’t written in 2 days 48h after you met he not gonna write at all and probably also ghost if the girl write first. A good respectful guy do give closure cause he shows respect and loves to give the truth 👍

[@JoseNeto-to9zw]

❤

[@bellam7546]

Any man who ghosts is total and utter trash. Ghosting is toxic behaviour and hurtful and anyone who makes the choice to mistreat another person is garbage. It's not hard to be kind to people.

[@demoxcro786]

@@bellam7546 i split with my ex few months ago,still have anxiety and panic attacks sometimes from her manipulations,ghosting and her spitefullnes. Crumbled my life just before it should have gone a step forward.(we bought and finished renovating our "family" home) So confused and as if I have a brain fog from all the gaslighting. I hope to grow and learn how to work on myself to attract female empaths,or at least someone who is not overly narcisistic.

[@demoxcro786]

@@DelseyRitzy got ghosted by last gf of 4 years,just as we were finnishing renovating our future "family" apartment. First i noticed a change in her behaviour, regular "headaches",unwillingness to talk, then after months it started to affect me as well,so I became "colder". She did everything in the playbook to make me break up with her, but stupid and naive as I was,I tried to fix it,while there wasnt anything to fix,she had decided she wants to move on. Which is sad in itself for me at least,since I love her with all my heart, but that gaslighting, "keeping" the story up when she allready knew she wants out is what hurted most.

[@deedeebrecca8645]

Please, please, please don't contact anyone who has broken all contact with you. Their silence is SCREAMING how they feel about you which is not much. They don't value you or your precious time. Please move on and find someone who can't wait to spend time with you. Someone who can't wait to hear the sound of your voice and who is counting the minutes until they can see you again. He or she is out there waiting for you. I wish anyone who is reading this all of the best. Hugs.

[@Millerscrossing123]

This is such a great, intelligent comment, you’re amazing

[@alzdsz]

I hope so too i find some1. Cause I'm been waiting to long yet haven't found her

[@mtowerm4650]

🥰🥰🥰D'you know how heartwarming your words are? Extremely great 👍🏽👍🏽

[@laksuh6926]

I had to, I atleast needed to end the relationship with them in order to make a clean cut for me. She probably was just waiting for me to do it, doesn't matter, I have to cut out people that make me feel worthless and that's the win about it.

[@YuyiLeal]

Exactly!!! so well put!!!

[@YanaWanderlust.]

Ghosting is THE closure. The more I am watching video like this, the more I get it.

[@JeniferBass-b8v]

Sad but true

[@WonderWoman1984-uy5yn]

It's the sudden 180 degrees that I find most painful. One moment you are basking in the glow of this beautiful thing you're building, they tell you you are connected body and soul and they want you to trust them, and they are falling for you. They are completely consistent with their attention to you - then one day.... nothing.

[@Decasper85]

I’m just going thru this now. He admitted to having the same feelings for me for years. Had plans to see each other on weekends . I’d fly down he would help. Ask my opinion on job offers but ultimately decided to take 1 that be closer to me… or so he says. Saying on a couple of times for me to “ give us a chance . I wanna keep you around . Can I keep you. This our second chance . This seems like a dream” to radio silence . I’ve had a thing for him for years and allegedly so did he but the timing wasn’t right then .. reconnected over Facebook end of March . He’s definitely got things going on. At one point he say I want to be with you but my situation is complicated…we were supposed to have the conversation but forgot to bring it up. Things were amazing then I drop him off. And with that 12 hour drive till he got to where he was going then after that he vanished ..

[@gavingreenhorn]

So much yes. Most painful and most insidious, because in your mind that incredible person can't just do it to you without a good reason. Makes you build alternative explanations in your mind, keeps you thinking, remembering the good parts, hoping. I spent a year in that mind trap, completely detached from reality, because it was too painful to accept it for what it is. I feel so silly now, and angry at myself.

[@isisrose212]

@@gavingreenhornyou accept it as what? They’re just not meant for you?

[@khusboothapa5517]

Can i get some help. I am going through these same things....

[@sehrishasad5851]

So true. How to cope up?

[@partizanmk932]

No response is a response. It isn’t a reflection on you but them. Try not to beat yourself up, let go and move on.

[@funnygirlever]

Amen!

[@sheryllynrivera6391]

Man, I need this right now. I'm definitely beating myself up. This is why I hate letting people into my heart. 😮‍💨

[@GoodVideos-ry5ie]

So true. Too many women date outside of their pond, hooking up with the chads and are then surprised to be burned/ghosted. He was never that into you, he was just hooking up. Women really need to date within their own pond. I have seen 4s rate themselves 10.

[@jraa4560]

All facts. Good way of putting it too. I work with a lot of Chads at my bar. Mostly us bouncers haha I Just got ghosted by a hurt and broken young lesbian! Didn’t use protection in the back of her car, straight ghosted me!! It’s been 3 weeks and she lives in the condos next door to mine lol haha crazy

[@Bluesmoke4200]

​@@GoodVideos-ry5ieIt is more about compatibility than any objective level or rankings

[@pamatkinson6466]

After being ghosted …. I realized that rejection is protection. I’m so thankful I was “protected” from him.

[@anithanavaneethan3267]

❤❤

[@dmc387]

How did you get to this realization?

[@coralcove9577]

I’m not there yet

[@pamatkinson6466]

@@dmc387 - I think that you see a narcissist more clearly after you are away from them. You remember the subtle cut downs and the blame for random things; if you confront them too often they leave and look for another victim that is easier to manipulate

[@assplundah]

Ghosting someone you’ve been in a romantic relationship with is emotionally abusive & can have a massively negative impact on the person being ghosted. It’s cowardly & immature behaviour.

[@jdbumdcpark]

I completely agree with you. It is such an emotionally and mentally dangerous act.

[@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534]

Exactly

[@sophien4124]

Agree

[@WasteFox44]

Yes,i agree with you😢

[@Drikkerbadevand]

Not if they break up with you. No contact is exactly what you need to heal

[@JinxTheWriter]

Man, I been crying for 3 days due to getting ghosted after the best time with someone in years. He ghosted 💯 and I know he's alive. Thank you. I needed to hear this.

[@Sage_of_Time_1990]

U know he's alive. In my case I do not... the confusion fucked me up. Pray for you... please pray for me.

[@JinxTheWriter]

@@Sage_of_Time_1990 definitely. I'm sorry you're going thru that.

[@Marauder-eu9om]

​@@JinxTheWriterdid he reach back or something ?

[@JinxTheWriter]

@Marauder-eu9om he never did. My mom ran into a couple weeks back. He had the audacity to act like he didn't do anything.

[@Marauder-eu9om]

@@JinxTheWriter ohh I see. Yeah such people always believe they didn't do anything.

[@3950laura]

People need to stop ghosting others. It’s cruel.

[@bobtheman1]

Online dating is an inhuman and depersonalizing space.

[@Boems22]

I find it extremly weak to ghost someone. It’s like am i not worthy of human decency? I will never understand the act of ghosting.

[@masterculturedunkerque7918]

It's traumatic asf, hate the cowards and ghosters

[@masterculturedunkerque7918]

Traumatized by my therapist who ended therapy by email without further explanation or any possibility of a dialogue. And then she ghosted me, I hate her with a mere respect til today

[@ukshreya]

That’s exactly how I feel about it. The lack of character it shows and how little you mean to someone for them to not even be able to communicate with you to say goodbye… I just can’t fathom it

[@jsav9979]

@@ukshreya100percent

[@vaibhavmishra8989]

Same here… I am really stuck by my sp from 10 years😢😂

[@fionakarbel258]

Matthew nails it. When people ghost, I’ve always thought to myself, I literally would NEVER do that to anyone or treat anyone that way. It is of bad character. He’s right, that person revealed who they are (their lack of character), and you would not want someone like that, because that shows how they will handle any situation they don’t like, or a conflict- just walk away. No bueno!

[@racheltania2464]

I've done that after a few texts or one phone call or something when someone said something rude or it just wasn't going to be a thing, but I would never do that to someone I knew in person and had spent any amount of time with. At the very least, I would send them a thoughtful text explaining how I felt and wishing them the best and all of that. It's beyond hurtful to just vanish on someone you've had any form of relationship with.

[@Alloniya]

True. Why would we want someone who will probable give up and go away when we got sick? We need a stable relationships and a man who can take care of us

[@jonhysimonzreactionz1326]

💯

[@andrewgardner1727]

Narcissistic people and sociopaths do these things cause there ashamed of hearing about it or getting caught there evil evil people

[@spagetti001]

that's all nice and well, but what if there's no one else who "can't wait to spend time with me"? I don't find people that are interested in me weekly. a person who's interested in me comes along maybe every 5 years for me. so yes, ghosting impacts some people MUCH MORE than others, and "move on" is simply not a valid advice.

[@nancygilchrist8932]

I recently read something that really stopped me in my why-why-why tracks. If a snake bites you - you don't hunt down the snake to find out why they bit you...instead you focus on finding a way to heal that bite so it doesn't kill you. Same for this... the why doesn't matter, it hurts no matter what, and you don't want to waste time that you could spend on getting better.

[@mattklein7155]

I just got ghosted and I think it's hilarious. People aren't mature enough to try and resolve any issues at hand.

[@Josh-dp6iu]

And what sucks is you’re probably the villain in their story.

[@mattklein7155]

@@Josh-dp6iu Right? This was just an individual I was talking to for a couple of weeks but we ended up talking on the phone and she left a huge sour taste in my mouth, but I still gave her the benefit of the doubt and surely enough she removed me, lmao. People don't want to take time to work anything out, they just want to leave when things look rough.

[@lunar686]

Ouch yep that’s gotta suck but good timing on Matt’s video right lol 😹. Might be worth double checking your second sentence, there might be a cognitive bias or two that will make you attract people like that. Gotta love that our brains are wired to be right rather than happy

[@AstarionWifey]

That’s on them Their loss 🎉

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

That is a great response! I am glad that you have the right perspective and aren't letting someone else's nonsense and adolescent insecurity affect you. You have good boundaries. well done!

[@LauDor08]

Rejection always hurts, no matter how strong, confident and independent you are. But Matthew brings up some good points. If you know you're a good person who didn't do anything wrong and some asshat ghosted you, lied, led you on, etc., that's a reflection on them, not you. They don't deserve you.

[@sigmoidsharer3012]

But then why I still feel wierd, betrayed, like can't believe anyone after that.... Like am I that dumb, to be wrong twice 1st that she liked me more than friend so asked her out 2nd to consider her my friend, she said so, and we were for months after that debacle. And I was okay with that, being friend, rejection in romantic life is just Stat now for me. But never in my life that I considered my friend, and someone who said on multiple occasions that they are mine made me feel so UNWORTHY. AM I that unworthy that I don't even get an explanation. At random 3am I recall every moment and chats that had with her... Just to find my mistakes and I'm like okay this was there but we resolved it. So then what happen why leave suddenly, I wasnt gonna ask you to stay if u don't want too... But atleast say good byes... Sorry for the rant 😅 But any suggestions would help(video did, but it's more genral) Thanks

[@Bullboy_Adventures]

​@@sigmoidsharer3012 honestly, there really aren't any more suggestions than this video, or this comment. Just take it to heart and always remember it. I know it will still hurt, but remembering this really helps

[@sigmoidsharer3012]

@Bullboy_Adventures I know mate needed support finally got that now moved on

[@thisbrendalee]

The more you do the inner work on self love and realising how 'your person' is someone who is soo interested in you and want to talk to you, spend time with you, make plans with you... you literally do not care if someone ghosts you. It's like good riddance, you can focus your time on someone who is excited by you! You just keep doing you, put yourself out there again and the more you increase your magnetism and self awareness with dating, you stop attracting men who ghost you. You really do. You start attracting high value men.

[@gloucast]

Wowww needed to read this today! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@barbarahumphries3271]

Well said

[@mike198383]

If you also look in to it deeper this also shows they have no integrity and or the communication to work through issues. So even long way down the road when you have rocky moments they wont be able to work through it most likely.

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

Thank you all. That is why I'm on a break to work on myself. Most people don't want to do any work. They want all their needs met. When someone is an ex, or shows me that attitude I move on, and take the lessons, and take time to be a better person. I'm an amazing person who would love to have a good person in my life. I don't need much in life. But I don't deserve people behaving badlyto me.

[@mike198383]

@@EMuro-wu7uy Im in the same boat as you are in being a simple person that just wants to be loved and appreciated and do the same for them in return. From what I have experienced in dating quite few people now is there is clear evidence people dont look in to their mental health and how they do things in life.

[@msaigol87]

I just got ghosted. I cried my eyes out but listening to this has really shifted my perspective. Thank you Matt x

[@mynu6234]

I just got ghosted too! 😓

[@iamr3inhard]

Just got ghosted today.

[@aoivre7810]

same

[@CherylLovesSobek]

Me too in April and the pain is still horrendous! But what's done is done and no going back

[@rashaalk9317]

❤❤

[@ninajones6622]

This happened to me. I was ghosted by a 'man' in his 40's (so he was supposed to be a 'grown up') but he ghosted me spectacularly after talking for over 5 months, and a pretty pleasant date. It has taken me over 2 years to get over the rejection I felt. I had panic attacks, and started suffering from anxiety too. I know that sounds extreme but that's how I felt. I am absolutely over the whole thing, after 2 and a half years and now im with a man that treats me like a princess. But some people really can cause so much damage by not just being upfront and honest...that's all it takes. It's an awful feeling and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy xx

[@weruleyoudrool]

These men need to grow tf up. They just wanted attention from mommy and use them and move onto the next. They deserve to die alone.

[@canadianwinterssuck]

Going thru it now, feel like I can't breathe...and I'm usually a very grounded, and spiritually mature person. I feel so shocked, and at loss, almost like losing a partner to death. I feel like I'm grieving the loss of him, and us.

[@ninajones6622]

@Terri B I felt exactly the same, it felt like grief ...it was grief. I was so bad my boss referred me to a psychologist because I was off work for months. Looking back, it was an extreme response on my part, and now I can see that was due to my lack of self worth. I was so lacking in self confidence because my previous relationship was with a narcissistic man who ground me down to almost nothing. Almost 3 years on I an a different women with endless confidence in myself. I realise the man I mourned was never worthy of me in the first place. He was immature and totally oblivious to my dismay at being rejected, who wants a man like that! Give it time, see him for what he is... and how there will be someone out there that would give his right arm to even have a chance with you. I believe God removes people from our lives for a reason, to make way for someone way better... and he did for me. ..and he will for you. Just be patient and learn from this. You deserve so much better xx

[@How.Dare.You.]

Jezzz chill girl. Its a bit too much, you had one date and it took your 2 years to get over?

[@Mokh7777]

@@ninajones6622 same thing has just happened to me, same timeline of talking and going on a date. Did the ghost ever reappear after the 2 and half years?

[@aiya5758]

5 days ago, I was ghosted by my bf of 7 months, a week before my birthday. It hurts so much. I am depressed, got sick, crying constantly and the worst is I am also blocked with everything. Calls, social media, texts, you name it. I just woke up, and then I’m blocked. I thought of calling him with another number, he also blocked that new number…. And then I received an email saying ‘just move on’. Just like that…. Just like that…. And I am crying while typing this…

[@jelly1686]

How are you now?🥺

[@Gm9286mg]

I feel exactly the same. My heart is going out to everyone on here. We share each other’s pain. I just can’t believe how common this is. How has this become acceptable and common behaviour?! 🤯

[@lindseyr7115]

I was ghosted too after 3.5 months of him promising a future. I don’t know what I did to deserve the ghosting. Sending you healing vibes! It is so mean when someone ghosts you after building a connection and planning a future. I feel like I got played and then discarded. I’m full of shame and anxiety.

[@jelly1686]

@@lindseyr7115 hey. I had literally the same situation last spring… my advice : make yourself busy with work, studying, communication and hobbies, all of the things you love to do, achieve your goals but PLEASE don’t let this stinky coward steal months of your life (like I did)☝🏻he’s not worth it.

[@mariono244]

@@lindseyr7115this happened to me too! It’s really hurt but I’m getting over it. I’m dedicated the next month to pouring twice as much into myself. It is a huge lesson when you meet people like that but I trust it will work out for our good

[@Mayfloweralways]

I would add that many times people ghost because they met someone, but they still want to have you on the hook for later. They know if they tell you that they dumped you and were dating someone they liked more, but it didn’t work out, you’re not going to welcome them back. That should be enough to stop anyone from worrying about a ghoster. Just picture them out there having a grand time with someone else. Then picture that when they get dumped, they want the option to run back to you and feel your interest and how you were so worried and thinking about them. It’s about ego and having options for a lot of people that ghost. By leaving everything a mystery, they can still come back and tell any lie they want.

[@bellam7546]

Well, whatever the reason they still chose to be a piece of shit.

[@Alloniya]

I really not going to take back any of the ghosted of my life 😂 I’m rich, pretty, healthy, sexy. Having massive energy. I not giving all that to a betrayal. I rather find someone new if I have to.

[@gal1885]

This comment is so helpful!!

[@Prev8ster]

Not only did I desperately need to see this video but the comment section is like the bow on top 😢 thank you to everyone who has shared their stories. It makes me feel less dumb, less alone, more understood, and more hopeful to get over this ❤

[@mariefrydman8262]

Courage ❤

[@ThreeWishes777]

8:09 these videos have help me also ❤

[@kako6417]

If it helps you i once got ghosted and later became friends with this guy, fast forward 2 years it happened again with a guy I dated. Oh man, i couldnt stop laughing with the first guy about it for hours.. who tf ghosts someone?😂😂😂😂 what? He doesnt have words? He cant say no? He is 3 year old? To be honest people who ghost make me laugh, that is so pathetic especially grown ass man who do that hahaha anyway darling dont be afaid of ghosts.. they are just thin air. Ghost is just a ghost. Hope you are doing better

[@AnYa3312]

Same same

[@justinwatson1510]

Please excuse my crass language, but never let someone else being an asshole make you feel dumb. Remember that no matter how bad you might feel in any given situation, nothing is permanent, even if it is the worst pain you have ever felt. Just hang in there, learn what you can from the situation, and try to save your feelings for the people who are worthy of them.

[@NerdlySquared]

The closure aspect isn’t too necessary to me. I just don’t like how this whole ghosting trend makes me look at all new people I meet now.

[@joeldwest]

Ghosting is immature and irresponsible. It's so better to know how creepy they are and never spend a second on them again.

[@Becca-gk9qp]

It’s very irresponsible and I’m allergic to irresponsible people. I actually texted some of them and said they are irresponsible and I’m allergic to it, bye. 😂😂😂😂😂 Sometimes I’ll send them a message to wish them all the best and I moved on. I made the decision for them and I believe I would make them look bad. Whatever it is, I let them know that’s all, then I’ll not respond to their messages.

[@kay9738]

@@Becca-gk9qp snap! I'm starting to do the same. Love it! Well done hun, wishing you all the best ❤️

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

Oh wow. That is sooooo relevant to what I feel now. I have always been a rather confidently sociable person and always had good relationships with men. I encountered two in the past six month that were completely different than I had ever met before. The first I knew vaguely from some work I did about seven (!) years ago. He emailed me one day last summer just in a very casual and friendly manner over something work-related. Then he started writing these emails telling me how interesting he found me and really wanted to get to know me better. I will say I wasn't 'into' him in any other than a distantly friendly way. He asked me to meet him for coffee one day and I didn't wish to travel into town so I said no. The next time I had to go in anyway and I thought he had a business question. Log story short, he actually tried to strangle me. I got out though it really shook me badly. The weird thing is when I started to answer his business question, he suddenly started lecturing me on how he didn't want to use me in any way and blah blah blah. It was as if he somehow assumed from nothing at all that I was going to turn into some strange romance novel character. Then he grabbed me by the neck and arm. Yes, I should have reported this but I was so utterly astonished that I have to admit I didn't and then, once the bruising faded, I knew it was too late. I did, however, inform his partner and sent her all the messages he sent me. I did not in any way wish to hurt her. He called me screeching and said she had low esteem. Now, why did that not surprise me? Meanwhile he imagines himself to be some sort of god. I was badly rattled by this but what really pained me was the whole performance of acting friendly. It was as if he knew I have a healthy confidence and used that against me. The second I actually did hit it off with in the sense that we had, at first, a shared humour. He sent me some messages saying he hoped we would become friends. Well, be my friend then, I thought. No ceremony required for that. Then he just vanished. Great friend. Then he re-appeared and I stated that I did not like being toyed with. He vanished again. Oh well. I don't want 'friends' like that! But I have realised over the past few days that I feel twisted in my stomach and have tarted to feel as if I don't want people in my life at all. I cannot comprehend the point of all of this weird behaviour and why it has even affected me so much. I have a son who is 26 and his friends and I know them all quite well and in both cases, I know, they all would have been utterly at a loss with this sort of nonsense. If any of you are in that age group, don't give up because these young men are grown ups now, for real.

[@bellam7546]

I do the same I just take it a step further and call them trash. 😅

[@sonibraun4971]

He just doesn't care. What more do you need to know? I learned that it is a complete wasting of time to think about the other person.

[@dibelgelo]

Best response to ghosting: block them and forget about them. PS: if all communication happens through texting, and you never bothered to call each other, high probability you never had any meaningful relationship with them anyway.

[@barbarahumphries3271]

Yup that's right!

[@nahyucksplug]

Needed this the way I’m still hanging on to a thread of hope that they will reply buts it’s just embarrassing for me at this point

[@nahyucksplug]

@@maariyajamil9443 for sure

[@Alloniya]

He called few times but I was done already. And it was only FEW 😂 I has experience before with a guy who cheated on me I did call him and I know there is nothing to talk about.if he did it it already mean that he doesn’t care about your feelings

[@ANKH-c4m]

Where You mentioned about the (phone &/or video) calling : "PS: if all communication happens through texting, and you never bothered to call each other, high probability you never had any meaningful relationship with them anyway." -- is that because (in Your Opinion/Opinions), phone &/or video calling is more 'real', emotionally intimate, etc., vs. (just)/"through texting"...?

[@amandablanco8725]

This very situation happened to me with a guy I was seeing for about 6 weeks. Everything seemed great during that time and we always talked about how easy it was to be with each other. All of a sudden I never heard back from him. After about a week of no communication I reached out and had to asked him what happened. He told me he wasn’t in a good place to give me what I deserved. Ghosting is possibly the worst thing you can do to someone. It leaves you incredibly confused and hurt. It’s not normal to hear from someone every day and all of a sudden never again.

[@Alloniya]

My ex was chatting all day long. I knew he not able to not chat for days. So when he stop chatting with me I knew there someone else he chatting, but he lied to me and I was blindtrusted him. I should not have. When we really know the person trait we know

[@Malitubee]

So he expressed to you that he wasn’t feeling ok about his life and himself , and you’re still making it about you ?

[@real_hello_kitty]

@@Malitubee No he didn't. He just ghosted her, without saying nor expressing anything. If he said that or give explanation without being asked or ghosting first, that would be a brave man he is. But unfortunately he is a coward.

[@Malitubee]

@@real_hello_kitty No she’s childish

[@real_hello_kitty]

@@Malitubee But you contradicting yourself. Duh.

[@alextorres8635]

As a man, I just need to take a moment to address this topic. I was ghosted 6 months ago by someone who I loved maybe more than anyone I have ever loved in my life. She told me she loved me and that she would call later...and then never contacted me again. My problem with ghosting is that it isn't just awful. It is more than that. It is a violation of some unspoken agreement people have with each other that social media allows to happen far easier. This woman and I....have history. We were good together in my opinion. Her ghosting me shattered both my illusion of who I thought she was and a world view I held because of her. She was influential and her thoughts and opinions were ones I held in high regard. She had health issues. Baggage. Children I'd come to learn so much about. She's gone. Is she well? Is she Ill? Does she hate me now? Was she unhappy in secret? And many more questions that will probably never get answers. The hardest thing about this situation is the new world view I have to construct while also mourning the loss of a relationship that had been a pillar of my foundation. I care Matthew. Not because I need closure, but because it is decent I feel. It feels like NOT CARING about THIS woman is not just indecent, it feels so wrong to me. All of which im working through. What I think you should talk about in the future is to not just convince a person why not to give them energy, but also how to properly mourn the relationship lost. Whether it's a random you just met, or a person you've known decades. I don't want to think about her. I don't want to give it energy, but when a huge part of you...a person that helped shape you, is now gone for seemingly no reason.....how does one learn to live in this brand new alternate life created by this devastating change? That to me is probably a similar feeling felt by anyone ghosted. A new reality born of a person choosing to ignore your existence and letting you KNOW it.

[@scarlettrose221]

Your comment is brilliant. I can understand and empathise with everything you have said here. Being denied closure from someone we felt a strong connection to is unthinkably heartbreaking. What makes a person wake up, and decide that it’s over? When it was nothing but good. The way they can move on with their life as if nothing happened, is the most devastating realisation of all. And I wish it were that easy when people say “time heals”. For me, time has done nothing but given me more months to carry the grief. The perspective of never meeting again is unbearable. At the end of the day, it’s their loss. They missed out on someone who loved them without conditions.

[@alextorres8635]

@@scarlettrose221 it feels so similar to death that I feel both justified and horrified by the comparison. It feels like she died suddenly. Not the her cozy in her bed right this moment still ignoring me, but the person I knew her as. I feel grief because I care. I feel hurt because I loved. I feel devastated because this act is her real feelings and she refused to share why. It all reminds me of losing a loved one, but premeditated and just for you. No one else feels it. Because you’re the only one ghosted. It is so cruel that it knew she were capable of doing this to ANYONE I would have refused to date her no matter how much I loved her.

[@scarlettrose221]

@@alextorres8635 It definitely feels like a death. But what has died is the illusion they gave us. We are just struggling with coming to terms with who they really are. The grief from this overwhelms our senses, & can almost be paralyzing. Ghosting, and not getting any answers, is emotional cruelty. It shows their character. It’s hard to accept, I’ve been struggling too. There’s nothing I could do to change what was never meant to be. This is what I tell myself. I hope you find your peace. ❤️

[@1984musicman]

Such a powerful comment I screengrabbed it for my own archives. 100% your situation is my own and I cannot explain how confusing and utterly life changing it is. I'm so sorry you went through it to. Never the same again.

[@alextorres8635]

@@1984musicman thank you. I'm sorry for your loss as well.

[@arigato22]

The thing about ghosting is that there is no closure. I find for me, I get away from it by just getting busy and doing stuff. It hurts in the moment, but with time, it lessens. I did meet someone last year who ghosted me. I sort of knew it was going to happen; my gut told me that he was the kind. When it happened, I did reach out and asked, if he was going ok. And he didn't reply so I forgot about him. Took 2 weeks when I was constantly wondering if I was mistaken. I felt dejected and depressed but in the end I got over it. We had no social media connection and so it wasn't hard. I just told myself, he was a terrible person to begin with so it was no loss never seeing him again.

[@bellam7546]

He was a terrible person. He chose to be a piece of shit and you don't need pieces of shit in your life.

[@racebannon96]

I have been ghosted. In a weird way, it is closure. They no longer value you. They no longer want to be with you. When the fog or confusion fades, your clarity returns. You realize that you ignored the red flags and they did you a favor by disappearing. Most likely, you could not fully trust or depend on them to be there for you. It hurts but you move on.

[@paulsell2438]

It really is the rudest and most disrespectful thing someone can do.

[@jsav9979]

🎯

[@julita_languages]

If someone ghosted you it is already clear that everything over. Learn no to need closure. 🙌

[@Me29916]

I just got ghosted yesterday, and man 😑..... I wouldn't wish this on anybody. What hurts the most is not having closure, but i know i gotta move on. Then, also it made me not trust nobody. Made me not wanna believe in anything, but i wish everyone love and peace. I hope no one never goes through this

[@apenstaartjeanna3889]

did they ever reach out again?

[@naginiriddle7091]

Although I struggle with it as well, I'm coming to understand that if someone really wants to be in your life, they will be. It won't matter how busy they are, they will still give you priority. Even if they are introverted, even if they hate communication through technology, they will still find a way to be in your life. I've been in enough friendships/relationships to see this. Yes, being ghosted sucks. Trust me, I know. I'm currently going through being ghosted at the moment and I'm trying to push through it and not invest in that anymore. But I don't want someone in my life who doesn't want to be there. I don't want someone in my life who doesn't give me some sort of priority or who doesn't put in effort. It's not fair to me and I will definitely not enjoy myself if I try to be in that kind of a relationship. It still hurts because you really wanted to make it work with that person, but moving on really is the best way to let go of those anxious feelings.

[@agatastaniak7459]

Yes, in most cases it is true. At times yes, some massive incidents make communication with someone to end abruptly but if someone treats you seriously even after long time from such occurence they will try to explain themselves and give you closure. And this is how you know you were dealing with someone mentally healthy and stable. Since there is nothing normal about ghosting someone. In romantic or non-romantic relationships.

[@lqe8]

I just got ghosted after a 2 month-situationship. It has been painful, also because I just moved to the USA and I still have a bit of culture shock. This video helped me realize that wasting my time ruminating on possible reasons why he did that is worthless: life is too short. Hope everyone gets internal closure along the way!

[@YukiCamui425]

Thanks for that (I’m going through this too). Hope you’re adjusting to living in the US!

[@oeu3669]

I really hope you’re much better now. Congratulations on the move. I’m here because I got ghosted about 5 days ago with a tiny bit of bread crumbing in between. It suckssss but I’ll get through it

[@rahmakawtar394]

" No contact period 30days " trust me it's works I realized I don't want him anymore in my life.

[@natethebesttt]

It hurts so damn much. I wish I had half the strength all of you guys in the comments do.

[@cynthiajohnson1369]

OMG this helped me so much. I met a man that had so many qualities I didn't even know was possible to have in one person. No one ever treated me as sweetly and respectfully as he did and one day without any indication of issues, he just disappeared 😢. Can't believe how much being ghosted like this affected me. This video helped me so much. I watched it over and over.

[@Enna.HappyMe]

just been ghosted. I cant explain. I thought we are having a good time. We laught so much then gone. I cant explain the hurt. The shame. The nothingness. This video is good.

[@NorinaRozila]

Ghost can't handle the truth. They disappear. A man who ghost likes to string women along, like an audition for a wife.. Then cut the rest off like nothing.

[@melissabeth29]

@@NorinaRozila dang ..that one is an eye opener...audition for a wife... he knows i want to get married some day... and he is looking also but heck no not auditioning anymore

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

Beautiful. I have been on a dating site for 2 years. My strict upbringing and natural kindness have made me gravitate towards losers. Thank you for helping me to get back to a place of self respect and construction. And leave the unworthy non-suitors behind. I need to reinvent myself. Once more. 😊

[@elenad.2959]

I don't think you need to reinvent yourself. Kindness is thought of as "easy to manipulate" by people who lack a strong moral compass. Don't change who you are; instead, be more discerning until you get to know any man and they've earned the privilege of getting to know the real, wonderful you. 🤗💖

[@brett84c]

I'd recommend finding meetups or some kind of community activity based on a hobby of yours. I love line dancing and have found doing that is a nice way to be social and opens me up to meeting people. Face to face always seems to be the best way to meet people, imo.

[@ellamedic8963]

It sounds like you have a lack of personal boundaries. You need to learn how to assert them in your life. This is #1 reason why nice and kind people get taken advantage of. You can still be kond amd nice but with boundaires.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

@@ellamedic8963 I know. But thanks anyway. The result is that I talk to men without laying myself too bare and am aware that I need to be aware of their boundaries as well. John Gray justifies how men want to 'please' women. I don't want them to 'please' me. I appreciate an equal and equanimous relationship in which respect, affection and being vulnerable is OK on both sides. There is no one perfect man or woman by the way. We are all travelers on this earth. Be well.

[@jeanannedupratt7075]

@@elenad.2959 Thank you. Yes, I treat people welland they have misinterpreted my intentions, some even responding inappropriately. I do love this real me though, more and more. Bless you too.

[@vanessaG275]

Death is final. So saying goodbye has an ending. I was ghosted by a BF after 5 years of dating. I was previously a widow so all that loss and pain came rushing back but the difference is there is no closure which is much harder to carry. It's my day 2 and my pride will never let me contact him with "What's going on, are you ok"? questions. My heart has become hardened and I realise he is a coward. He saved me in the long run by ghosting me. Thank you for this video. My heart aches for ALL who get ghosted but remember its done by cowards and weak people. Just walk away and close that chapter in your life.

[@Kathyjohnson-d2b]

Yes I was ghosted by a guy I dated two years but have known and thought was my friend of 42 years. Man it hurts that he thinks so little of me…and I am a widow also, so all that grief just flys back. I know my original person was all about me was all mine and would have never done this. So there are good wonderful men in the world. Thought I had a second chance at something wonderful but now realize not with this one. I must again pick up the pieces and move forward and find that strong self I had prior to this one that broke my heart. Prayers and hugs to all of us as we move forward looking for better.

[@vanessaG275]

@@Kathyjohnson-d2b Wow, 42 years is a very long time. Sorry about that. It's really one long roller coaster ride with pain and sorrow. I am still battling and often ask myself so many questions and never get clarity.

[@17h127]

I just send them a final text calling their ghosting out and saying my last things. Then I move on with my life. I'd rather know early on they can't speak their mind than years into something, so I count it as a blessing. I'm appreciative of all the people who didn't ghost me and try my best not to ghost others.

[@KathyOdinson]

Sometimes we’re lucky, and the trash takes itself out.

[@debrajackson7813]

My name is Debra. We were together for 7 months. He even texted me on Valentine's day and told me he loved me then just ghosted me. Thank you for this podcast. It is exactly how I have been feeling . I needed to hear this. I think I can move on now.

[@colettescorner8502]

This was so helpful! I got mini ghosted by a guy I met on NYE last weekend. He said we would go out on a date and got my number, and then left me on read after 2 texts. I obsessed about it all week! What a waste of time. I bumped into him yesterday at a brewery and he came over to uncomfortably make small talk and didn’t have the courage to address the ghosting. I let the conversation end and wished him a nice day. I desperately wanted to bring it up to get an answer from him but I wouldn’t want to date someone who conducts himself like that. Or someone who is lukewarm enough about the idea of a date with me to leave me on read. Thanks for the great video Matt!

[@Chowah]

Has a GF for sure

[@Gunngirl]

Being left on read is even worse. I was left on read for 2 weeks and it just blatantly says I don’t give a $%# about you and you’re not worth my 20 seconds to text. That’s how I take it. When I leave the conversation on a good note and get ghosted, it hurts. To lose interest that fast in someone does hurt.

[@Youareloved511]

Sending all the love to everyone going through this right now 🫶 The person ghosting you was never ready to receive your love - though it’s painful I believe it’s a blessing in disguise to bring you closer to your person that is truly meant for you 🙏

[@tshiamokhensani1917]

😊🙏🏽

[@mash7224]

Thank you🙏 i really need this

[@Zara12h]

I got ghosted last week and I’ve been pretty upset about it because there was no explanation for it, this video helped me so much, it came at just the right time I’m so happy and you’re so right Matthew! I shouldn’t feel devalued if the type of person he is treats people like that and I can consider it a lucky escape 😊

[@tasneembeeharry1233]

I've been going through this over the past few days. I was ghosted out of the blue by someone I thought I had a great connection with. I've been ruminating over the "why" like crazy, but after watching this I've realised that you're right. I don't want someone in my life who is so ignorant of my pain and internal torment. I'm choosing to believe that he did what he did because it was the best thing for him at the time, and I'm moving on with my life...because I have way too much to do and I don't have time or energy to allocate to someone like him. Thank you so much Matt 💜

[@ahrims22]

Hey how are you doing now? Did you ever reach out to the person or just let it be?

[@tshiamokhensani1917]

No ways im going through the very same situationship 😮

[@ChillCocoo]

Blocking is the best response against ghosting 😂

[@radar4536]

They aren’t reaching out so they won’t even notice and they dont care.

[@reginawatson6911]

After being ghosted for 3weeks he called out of the blue to finding himself Blocked. It is what it is...

[@iamlioness5]

This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today!! “One of the easiest ways to be unhappy in life is to look for closure where closure cannot be found” “One of the fastest ways to run out the clock on your own life”

[@martaskrzynska658]

If someone ghosts us, what we learn is not about ourselves (“we’re unworthy of even an explanation”) - we learn about THEM. And their weak response system. And how they treat people. They take the easy way out, without caring about your feelings. When sth is wrong, they avoid the difficult conversation, and it opens up room for inauthenticity and deceit. It’s extremely immature, and they’re at the level where they’re not recognizing it as such. You don’t need a person like that in your life - a source of suffering. There’s no trust or loyalty here. It may not be their fault, yes, but you don’t have to be around that either. It’s important who you choose to spend your time with. You can only feel safe when you trust that they’re gonna tell you if something is wrong. When they’re authentic. As always, you’re so brilliant at putting what may seem obvious in a way that screams “Eureka”. Thank you so much, Matthew.

[@beesinhives]

Cried the night , prayed for myself and that person and now m in peace

[@Niuniany]

❤

[@jrrichard1977]

What an incredible mind shift I just had. They would still have that trait and that behaviour. I was ghosted and blocked the day after we finalized our house plans. It was 3 weeks ago and have been torturing myself with why I wasn’t good enough when really, it is about his character not anything I am lacking. Thank you.

[@aashnadiva]

Ghosting not only applies to romantic interests, but also to friends, and everyone else. I am finding that Ghosting Culture keeps growing and intensifying as time progresses. It is hurtful. I love the message script you provided to follow up on the initial ghost. And all the advice you gave is so helpful. Thank you very much. You are truly helping so many people with their personal growth and happiness.

[@SuperPogacsa]

Thank you. I got into a situationship with this guy who is a fearful avoidant and man, it's been hard ever since he ghosted me. It's very difficult when you know that someone has a lot of potential, but you helped me see things for what they are, not what they could be.

[@PatriciaBialek]

It truly is a horrible thing to go through.

[@hollyharte7831]

Ghosting is so rude. It takes two secs to message even a yes or no! Willfully dismissive. I like tbat

[@rossellstuder6108]

So many great points here! My BF ghosted me after a four year relationship. It has been a year and a half since then and I am still struggling with getting closure, accepting that he doesn’t want to talk. This video is a great reminder of how to find one’s own closure. I love the point that life simply doesn’t provide it, over and over again. That the healthy way to move on is to find happiness in doing better next time. I also want to point out that a grieving process is important, and there is no timeline. I have often felt that I should be over it by now, and I am certainly in a much better place now than I was a year ago. But my process is my process. Full stop. Thank you for the inspiration to keep focusing on doing better!

[@buddy4972]

Ma'am, can I seek your wisdom on the following information. Ma'am, Alice and Tom were good friends before they came into a relationship. Things didn't work out between them because Tom had a weak personality. He was not mature. He was an overly emotional person, on the other hand, Alice was practical and mature enough to realize that the relationship is toxic. She ended things with Tom. Since they both were friends in the past, so they continued their friendship even after the breakup. They never discussed anything related to their personal lives. Even when Alice tried to tell Tom that she likes someone, tom requested her not to discuss such stuff as it makes him uncomfortable. Alice respected that and never discussed anything related to guys. They always ask about each other's well-being and mental health and were supportive of each other. Things were going petty well until one day Alice called Tom and told him and she is taken. She is with someone else. And this new guy and she promised each other that they will not talk to anyone from their past. She was the one who suggested this. She warned Tom not to contact her again otherwise she will block him. She said she has no other choice but to cut off Tom because they both shared a past. Tom break down over that phone call, this further pissed off Alice, and she ended up saying harsh words. Tom finally promised her that he will not text her again. Tom knew that he will never be able to provide Alice with the kind of life she deserves. This new guy has everything she ever wanted in a male( provider, smart, strong, mature, have a plan). He knew that loving someone is not just enough one has to have a plan. Tom still thinks about Alice's mental health and her mom's health. Tom believes that if he truly loves Alice then he must let her go. He must respect her decision. Tom doesn't have a job. He is now working hard to get a job. Ma'am, do you think Tom did the right thing? Ma'am, this tom is no one but me.

[@skyepalmer5719]

Absolutely, no timeline. It also depends on what else you as the one that was left was going through at the time. Some of us don't even have the support of friends during this time which makes it even harder.

[@Bluesmoke4200]

Guys really do this? After four years?! What a coward!!!

[@chioj36]

I’m only halfway through, and this is giving me immense amounts of closure. I was set to get married to someone last year, I had moved to North Carolina to live with him and his family. On a trip to New York to visit my family a month in, there were things that went down that I brought up to him that I was not OK with. After I expressed this, he went quiet for four days, then sent me one sentence to break up with me. I had to go back down and take my stuff out of our storage unit, and rent my own truck to come back by myself. He wouldn’t even see me. We dated for two years. It was absolutely brutal.

[@Alloniya]

Honey if he can’t sort out only one conflict, what a life whould be with him. Think. Be glad it happened after two years and not 5 or more

[@chioj36]

@@Alloniya Precisely.

[@pinkpatx]

I'm so sorry to hear that. :( Agree with the other comment here. At least you found out before, and not after, you were married to him.

[@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534]

Sinaie story happens to me disgusting men they re and you can’t trust again

[@kenbrb6261]

this is horrible - i'm so sorry - i hope you're doing better now?

[@wonderwomanx1268]

This is EXACTLY what I've been saying to my friends, family, and myself for years... we can't seek outside of ourselves for closure, we measure it against our values and how we want to be treated. It begins and ends with us. Thanks MH!

[@next-next-finish]

Perfect comment.

[@Alloniya]

Yeah I just blocked and tell myself this is over and this my decision

[@CA-de1kb]

This.❤

[@CatrionaRuadh]

Thank you for this. It made me cry, as this has just happened to me. I grew up with severe emotional neglect and abuse and, no matter how much you think you understand your reactions, it is so hard to let go when you think you may have a potential real connection with someone. It's so hard to open yourself up even a little, and then to be let down is so very painful.

[@melcee22]

This is so applicable to family estrangement too. Sadly, family estrangement is often a more painful and complex situation than what Matthew is talking about, but his advice still applies. Just a harder pill to swallow.

[@flashnimi]

This reminds me of this video kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqfTdX-meMtkoLc

[@Vïkîng_Välörian]

100% agree family estrangement is a lot harder and more painful at least in my individualexperience..... I've been going through a family estrangement for over 6 months the waves of the feeling come and go one minute I feel like I'm over it in the next minute not having the closure and wondering why comes up again not to say my problems or any worse than anyone else's I know everyone's problems are worse to themselves and cannot be measured but being someone who is adopted as a baby instantly has abandonment issues tied to it also being a failure to thrive baby not being picked up by my mother for the first two weeks of my life imbeds even deeper wounding in the subconscious I started finding my biological family over the last few years and my father's side was very warm and welcoming... unfortunately he had died before I could find out who he was.... we would actually talk quite a bit and then things taper off like they usually do but we would still communicate if I sent a message it was read it may not have been replied to that day but within a few days it was... recently one of the family members was messaging me in the summer saying they found some more photos of my father and when they got a chance they would send them to me, I was very grateful ...then I didn't hear anything for a couple months and sent a message just checking on the person saying hey hope you're well how you doing and still to this day they haven't even read the message and my cousins have stopped communicating with me as well it brings up so much confusion self gaslighting paranoia of what happened, why, I'm a good person I have a big heart I don't understand this everything was good before but now all the sudden no contact. I also believe that when this sort of thing happens it is a sign of a lack of Integrity in some people and also common decency it's a common courtesy to at least read a message and if you are an honest person, authentic, and truly embody integrity even if you had some ill feelings toward that person it's better to let them know than to leave them hanging I would rather know than not know... and I have to do my best to stay in understanding to not villainize those people based on my emotional perceptions and child trauma wounding.... it doesn't mean I condone or consent to the behavior but it is the first way of me being able to take my power back. Also due to the failure to thrive as an infant it comes with a form throughout your life of attachment to people so I'm constantly having to work and go to counseling and have my whole life to work through these issues. So I'm grateful for any videos like this that go in depth of certain aspects of struggles and hurt we go through. I'm hoping down the road I can let this go and finally find some confidence in my life that I've always lacked of being okay with people who in a sense reject me and having enough self-worth that it just for the most part rolls off my back but I'm not there yet still have tons of work to do. I also have an issue comparing myself to the way other people are and always wondering how do people not care what other people think of them how do people not take it as hard when they're rejected etc? I still have love for that family I don't think I ever could not it's just I have to nurture myself more and find a way to be okay with not knowing. To anyone who's struggling especially with ghosting right now my heart goes out to you I don't know you personally but I know the experience and I like reading all the comments here of everyone coming together and supporting each other I appreciate this channel I just came across and everyone here who's contributing and sharing experiences and supporting each other.🙏

[@real_hello_kitty]

melissa True that.

[@real_hello_kitty]

it hurts when my own family decided to be my enemies. :(

[@TheQueenofKent]

I think the issue is that ghosting happens more often than not and it makes the prospect of dating less and less worthwhile.

[@kamchar]

When this guy ghosted me and hasn’t even taken the time to at least make a closure, I requested him to have a call to say goodbye properly. He called. This was an opportunity for me to express my disappointment and how I expect to be treated. It made me feel lighter as it helped me to get it out of my chest and move on as he didn’t deserved my attention moving forward.

[@Atalanta01]

I really needed to hear this today. I think I can finally get closure and walk away from a “situationship” that’s been plaguing me. Thanks, Matthew 🤗❤️

[@qantaslover9422]

This makes so much sense. I decided whatever his reasons were, they didn’t matter in the long run because I don’t want to be with someone who treats people so badly. That helped me move on 😊

[@Aris-Darling]

I practice giving them grace without giving them more of myself. They’ve missed out.. they weeded themselves out of my life. And if I run into them again, I’ll be pleasant and positive but distant, because this person leaving my life has no impact on how great my life is. They won’t get a reaction out of me.

[@Spytie1]

I'm having a tough time moving on from someone I had really strong feelings for and got rejected and ghosted, been struggling with rumination for the last 6 months over a closure message I sent that was never answered. I relate a lot to the story and your video gives a really encouraging perspective on the topic, it truely helps a lot. Thanks Matthew

[@sabinabavenlee]

It`s been almost the same time for me. Since July. I`ve sent the whole poem about my feelings after rejection. I just needed it. No answer. Ok. But I had to write it before I could move on. It stings a lot. I wish I forgot about it

[@canadianwinterssuck]

Going thru it too... it hurts so much! Worst ever

[@Alloniya]

It may help if you realised that strong feelings comes from trauma. For me it was dad who leaved family.

[@annanguyen2819]

He ghosted me after acting extra interested and loving. Now, he doesn't check up on me or anything when I would always think about his well-being and care about how he's doing. It could've been one-sided but he would lead me on and now I don't know what was real.

[@PatriciaBialek]

Some men are just not capable of doing the proper thing. It is so painful, but this is very helpful to hear. Good luck.

[@Easydecisionhardlife]

This video came in on a perfect timing, been in relationship with a guy for a year now and suddenly he’s not responding to any texts, I feel hurt and wanted to call him so much and ask for reasons why he did that to me and whatnot, but “closure” is overrated and I just don’t want to stay in this kind of relationship any longer.

[@fionasmith6686]

I feel you on this one. Same. Busy dealing with my bruised ego and it's driving me insane!

[@Millerscrossing123]

This is amazing, Matt, I just went through this with a woman I did everything for, I have been a single dad raising a son and not dating, when I met this woman we both thought we had found in each other, a would mate. She began her antics by ghosting, and then all types of other drama started including “her boss hitting on her at a Christmas party where they were drunk”. I lived for here, even gave her money because she was between jobs. I was never so violated as a person in my 61 years. Sad that there are uncaring people out there that abuse good decent people and then make us feel like we are the problem. She always claimed she didn’t have the “bandwidth” for drama yet all she ever did was created it. You have e helped me see who she truly is, and you have helped me begin to heal, this person was horrendous.

[@timothycardoso1364]

You made me chuckle when you said “ it’s a story, but, not an interesting one.” So wise, so blunt and in makes so much sense. It made me laugh because it’s so true. Love you Matt.

[@QCDoggies]

This is the most helpful thing I've seen to help move past the pain of being summarily dismissed by a gutless, cold excuse for a human being. How people can be so mean just blows me away.

[@sandbucketbaby]

This. Absolutely agree. As much as it hurts for the 2 weeks....or 2 months...it will be isolating and lonely if you accept that kind of person in your life. Best to have the smaller pain now than the pain of ending something that lasted years. All the flags are there in the early communication.

[@gal1885]

Omg you are spot on!!

[@jsav9979]

🎯🎯👏😊😊

[@RoseJacksonHRJ]

'There are so many stories you could be living.' Thank you. Even though I know what ghosting means deep down, it still hurts so much.

[@whytneiyo]

After watching you for years, I swear this was the most helpful video I’ve seen. Possibly bc this just happened to me but also bc this happens all the time. Thank you for making a video on this!

[@makeup_onhermind]

Matthew, your content has been one crucial reminder that helped me to finally break a pattern of seeking out and staying with men that were not treating me the way I wish to be treated, emotionally immature and frankly, not ready for a healthy and equal relationship. That is now some years ago, and I have since married a man that is emotionally mature, able to grow and work through our issues and treats me the way I know I deserve. Relationships are never perfect, people are never flawless, but many women need to learn to demand a baseline of fair, healthy treatment and maturity in their male partners. Things that we shouldn't compromise on. Thank you for doing work in that field of empowering women. Love!

[@jaynegrace9755]

Your words are so powerful! I have watched lots of videos on ghosting as it is such a painful experience and was something I couldn’t comprehend or move on from for several months. I kept reaching out to ask him why he disappeared only to be further ignored. This is the best video I have watched by far, your words resonated so much as why did I need closure from him, ghosting IS closure. Why would I want to emotionally invest in someone with such poor communication skills and lack of emotional intelligence. Casper 👻 has lost his place in my heart, he doesn’t deserve my love

[@TheMisssy2]

Mine was 8 years & listening 2 weeks later, I hear what I need to hear....I don't want a person that treats ANYONE that "terrible"

[@unnursara]

This is a great video! So important the message of us not getting closure in so many situations in life. Getting ghosted really changed me, now I move away much quicker when I'm seeing behaviour I don't like, and the good thing is the only closure I need is the knowing that this was obviously not someone worthy of my time.

[@abrar.16]

wht if that person always replys with "i dont ignore u, i dont even know wht u r talkin abt, u r over reacting to ths, u r a big drama queen" nd makes me feel like im wrong havin this confusions..im always in that situation of "am i right or am i wrong?"

[@Niall_Peace]

This is a VERY important video to anyone that is/was mentally hurt from being ghosted. I should re-watch this video often. Anyone can be ghosted with any sort of relationship - friends, relatives, colleagues, dates, acquaintances, school mates. Sadfully, the longer you've known the people that have ghosted you the more pain you'll feel.

[@heavenbound777carrie7]

Great advice! My closure for that type of behavior is, he didn’t deserve me anyway! Thank God and move on.

[@rasaperkunas1722]

It is hard for someone with unresolved trauma to react to ghosting in a healthy way. I totally feel Deborah, because I have been there. The bright side is that if you do some deep self-work, you will no longer need closure. As Matthew said, you will see ghosting as red flags and dodged bullets. Love yourself more, heal the wounds and you won’t need any closure. A man who values you will not be stopped by anything at all. Wars were fought for women. Find THAT type of man;)

[@veronicascasalborges4812]

I’ve been following Matt for 4 years now and he has mentioned the closed door as the closure. Thankyou for going deeper in this subject. I was ghosted a few months ago and once you step out and see the bigger picture you learn how to better guard your heart. VI noticed he was a serial love bomber and a narcissist who was badly hurt by his ex partner- wasn’t ready for the love I had to share. Believe me sis he is doing you a favor. Thanks Matt.!

[@muskan-op7rm]

wanted to know did you block the ghoster or u chose to completely ignore them and not even consider them as someone to be blocked?

[@Alloniya]

@@muskan-op7rm just block him stop playing games

[@lonewolfheart1697]

I've literally just had this experience by someone I recently started dating... it was developing into a relationship. He showed up, we went on dates, his communication was consistent and affectionate... then BAM... very late last night, I checked my phone... he's gone, blocked me on absolutely everything. I have absolutely NO IDEA why this happened... I do have an abusive childhood, breakdown in previous marriage BUT I've had decades of therapy to help me. I have done everything in my power to get myself straight, making myself feel better and yet this has happened. I'll get over it but the pain right now is excruciating. We agreed to take things slow and steady so I thought things were good. Just be an adult and tell me that you're not interested in me rather than being a coward and just disappearing. I'm glad that videos like this exist because I want to heal from this.

[@leevang5397]

This is absolutely what I needed to hear! Long story short, I had a long distance relationship with a guy who I reconnected with. We were friends since 17, went our seperate ways and did our own thing. We came back in 2022 and now we’re 30. We have been talking for 9 months in 2022 and were planning to meet up in person and take the relationship further. Like Deborah’s story, we butted heads and had an argument (it wasn’t my proudest moment and I don’t agree with how I spoke to him) however it wasn’t anything so serious we couldn’t amend it either. We did come to a place where we cooled down, apologised and made up. He asked for some space to think about why we argued and clear his mind. His last words were “I’ll spoil you when I come back”. He didn’t give me a timeline as he said he wasn’t sure how long it may take him. Having faith in his words, I simply said it’s okay and take your time. He’s not done anything to break my trust till this point. So, trusting him I waited. One week turned into 3 months of silence. I did reach out via messages, email, contacting his sister and there was no response. Yes, I saw his social media that he’d been partying and had gone on a date with someone else. I was so confused and never thought that about him ever. We had been friends and I’ve never thought bad of him. It hurt me because we had discussed HOW we would solve our conflicts and communicate when it was hard or if we argue. The rubber finally hit the road and I was now able to see another side of him I never thought I would ever see. I believe that true character is revealed not when things go well but it’s when things go unwell. I do believe that I have dodged a bullet and this is in fact a BIG RED FLAG and dangerous to be around. Despite the pain and hurt, I still bought him a Christmas present and apologised for how I spoke to him and understand how it’s hurt him but I drew the line in the sand and said goodbye. It hurt a lot, yes and I’m still recovering from it. But I’ve come to the realisation that I can’t build a life with someone like that and I deserve to be treated better. I still love him in my heart but know it’s okay and best to not be with him. He’s been wounded and bleeding a lot (don’t think he realises this) and thus his behaviour. I’m not saying it’s acceptable but I’m saying I understand that hurting people hurt people. For anyone reading this, I hope this message blesses you. Choose to reposed in love to others but most importantly to yourself. Thank you for the message Matthew, it has been really helpful and a blessing to myself and many others.

[@juliaskagfjord6207]

This is the worst with a small argument. I had the same thing. I felt I was expressing myself etc. Being authentic and he took some things the wrong way I apologized and got ghosted. I continued to apologize etc. I thought he was my friend, one year later I still have been ruminating. The thing is when we come from a place of honest remorse as a woman especially when what we said did or texted was not even extreem, and the guy wont forgive and he ghosts, I think that's manipulative to allow a woman to care for him, he knows she is still caring and messaging and sending him energy and yet he chooses to ignore. Matthew's discussion was perfect because us people with sweet hearts do not deserve such callousness.

[@qantaslover9422]

Please don’t apologise or give gifts to someone who knows you’re hurting but chooses to ignore you. You are worth more than that x

[@nicolasmartinez4034]

Yeah I had a similar experience with a girl I knew. It’s so cruel and they move on fast. I love her but it’s for the best

[@barbarahumphries3271]

❤️

[@leevang5397]

@@rachel12127 I'm so sorry to hear that. This seems to be tricky if he doesn't want to include you in the areas in his life that are hard. I find that his behaviour is sketchy and hard to trust if he's hot and cold, only around you when it's convenient for him. Love is a two way street. Maybe give yourself a cut off date and if he no longer replies OR continues this behaviour, move on from there? What you tolerate won't change. I hope you're feeling okay though

[@janetnilsen9728]

Absolutely the best ghosting advice video from a dating coach. Matt Hussey wows us again. My favourite part, you're simply allowing the ghoster to steal your time, they've left that's clear closure and no explanation is needed. They've shown: inconsistentcy, carelessness, unworthiness, lack of great character, you don't get loyalty, trust. Why would you still be attracted to this!? He did you a favor, period. Awesome Matt!

[@teresitacc24]

"Everything happens for a reason" and I address everything of this incredible video (this is not a coincidence for me, I'm "surviving" a ghosting in one of the worst timings of my life with anxiety) but...still hurts. You can know all of this and still feeling hurt because this was out of your control and obviously, that person decided that you don't exist. That hurts in your ego, in your heart and in your mind because we all deserve a response but a no response is a response. We exist and we matter. I read something today "the ghosting: that horror story of someone else's actions that talk more about them than ourselves". That hits hard. Bottom line: the closure we give to ourselves is for ourselves, not for the "ghost" because they've already decided their "closure" (running away like cowards most of the time). Ghosting is a decision made by them and moving forward is a decision made by us.

[@sonalisamarasinghe9131]

Wow great advice. Thank you

[@kathymargatines3450]

Well said ❤️

[@SuperTronus]

“The righteous explanation we give someone …is a way of packaging someone in a more positive way than their behaviour they’ve given suggests. And, the reason your mind packages them in a more positive way is then you can hold on to them” - this hit me! So accurate 😢❤🎉

[@jsav9979]

🎯🎯

[@next-next-finish]

This for me was your best video, and such a nice way to start a new year by giving ourselves the closure we need. Last year I was discarded and ghosted, and as painful as it was, it really made me grow in ways I wouldn't expect. Your channel certainly was part of that growth exercise. Thank you so much for this content and wish you a great 2023. 💪

[@joybarton3460]

Thank you for this Matt, your advice on this was like a big hug. I was ghosted by a man I was in a relationship for 4 years. This happened 13 years ago and I am still ruminating on this. It is the most heart breaking thing someone can do. I have moved on and enjoy my life but this never leaves my mind or heart as to 'why'.

[@PossumLover1111]

This was great advice. I used to need that closure Matt speaks of. I'd fill in the blanks of what I didn't know and obsess over what happened, why, how, etc. But I've learned (recently) to just close the door on what happened and not look back. It makes a huge difference to do that. To realize that the men who a) broke up with me and b) ghosted me were not worthy of me, my time, my love and energy and I just move on. This is some of the best self care I can do.

[@ChickenJ000]

Thank you for helping me be grateful instead of in this weird limbo of confusion n pain

[@Utshaaghosh]

Thank u so much Matthew. I was in a relationship with a man for the past 3 months until on new year's I discovered he was married and not really 35, but 42. I confronted him and I tried texting, calling, all modes of communicating, but to no avail in the past week, with a mere only explanation that " things are not the way they seem". It has been a hell of a new year's since last Sunday, when I found out, and I was in self doubt cause I loved this guy, but thank u Matthew. This is what i needed to hear today.

[@andrewboyddotcom]

AMAZING BREAKTHROUGH !!! This girl with whom I was insanely in love started treating me badly and I eventually fired her. The reality was that while she had many star qualities she didn't have the qualities necessary for the lo g haul. This video has shown me this and has helped me finally cut the chord. YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO WON'T BACK YOU UP 100%. STOP RUMINATING OVER THEM. THEY ARE TRASH. Thank you Matthew

[@maryperez3820]

I was in a very similar situation of this person just all of a sudden began ghosting me and not even bothered to read my texts. Your video and advise really helped me open my eyes and realize this person is not worthy of my time or energy spent. knowing that this man was not even the least bit concerned about hurting my feelings after I was nothing but nice to him. It made me realize what a horrible person he really is. I got the closure that I was looking for. Thank you, Matthew.

[@anastasiamyers4073]

It happened to me once out of the blue. We never argued or had unfriendly conversations. We were supposed to meet up and then I have been ghosted. A friend of mine explained what happened to me. I listened to a few videos and moved on!

[@steelydan5204]

Damn, I've so much needed this today. I'm dealing with being ghosted, and after this... I actually felt a lot better. Thank You!

[@riyajain2375]

Thank you so much Matthew! I recently got ghosted too, it was bad. But listening to this made my day-you never really get closure on life. You gotta make the difficult choice of moving forward. No point in valuing an unworthy person.

[@mirandah6348]

this video was incredible! I wish I had seen it 9 months ago when I was ghosted. I wasted a lot of time ruminating about this person's actions. Luckily I've come out the other side of this situation and I'm so much more invested in the story of the future love and partnership I'm destined to find than in a person who chose to disappear from my life.

[@freewaydeath]

This was everything I needed to hear. It really is about self love and boundaries.

[@Pikachu-oz4mh]

I can't believe how I got a notification of this video, which is what I needed most right now. Thanks Mathew. This truly helps.

[@kristenviscardi9901]

Your words are heartfelt and true. In the depths of my heart, I had to realize this in many instances of my life. When betrayal, abandonment, and abuse happen, the pain to let go is tremendous. Raising children alone and fighting with the negativity in my head became unbearable. I masked with exercise, a smile, and setting goals but never facing the real issue of my ego. Holding on to a husband, father who could treat us so bad and dismiss us. It took years of my life thinking about-such a waste of time. Like his opinion mattered! I am so strong but this is an area I falter and that’s my ego holding on. Thank you for your profound worlds.

[@jenburkholder6541]

I dodged a giant bullet by having someone ghost me. He was a mental, physical and emotional wreck and I feel bad for him, but, I've been stuck with their type before and it sucks the life out of you. Good luck buddy if you see this.

[@KoriJami]

I needed this only ex and I were working on reconciliation. He went from staying over two nights to saying he loved me and making plans to going radio silent for now 48 hours . It’s crushing