If He Pulls Away, This Will Make Him Chase You

[@thematthewhussey]

Really enjoying reading all your comments this Sunday everyone. I’m curious, now that you’ve watched the video, what is an excuse someone gave you at some point about why they couldn’t give more to the relationship, that you started co-opting and using when talking to friends and family to justify why things were the way they were between the two of you? What logic did you start parroting that wasn’t actually authentically YOU, but you buying into someone else’s logic at the time? Leave me a comment and let me know.

[@georgiaanderson7025]

Work and Children...ages 21, 18 and 16... 🤨

[@okashi10]

Long distance, so that's why we couldn't talk more or be exclusive. I clearly wanted to, but I adopted it like "oh this can't develop further just because we're long distance." 🙄

[@magdazubrycka8405]

0

[@luzturner1373]

He - We see life from a different perspective Me - bs 😁

[@kristir1262]

"It's just the wrong time" not sure if someone actually used that... But I've started describing a lot of past relationships that way. Genuinely, there's only one I'd characterize as that- i was stressed out from my phd program and was absolutely terrible to be with, and I don't blame him for wanting out 🤷🏻‍♀️. He did support me (emotionally) through some heavy going, and I'll always be grateful. (Ofc he took his new wife on honeymoon to the place I'd wanted to go, so I'm not that enamored of him anymore 😂 - but we did have very much in common wrt to taste in travel, tv, etc). Oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@lauraborgnolo]

With the right person you can do nothing wrong and with the wrong person you can do nothing right. If he pulls away. Let him. Don't chase someone who does not appreciate you in the first place.

[@flowerinherhair8195]

😂😂😂😂😂 Lol, so you can keep disrespecting him and he will stick around because he's "the right person" 😂😂😂😂😂 Are you like 15 years old? 😂😂😂😂😂

[@chrissimpson6701]

💯

[@NS-qj6ws]

You absolutely can do wrong with the right person...A LOT. Especially if the issue is YOU ;)

[@MsBizzyGurl]

If he pulls away, let him go.

[@knolose1]

Period

[@gurjeetkaurballa8511]

True that

[@raffaellaricciardi8517]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@raf9ooo9a]

👏👏👏👏

[@name-wr2qg]

so what am i supposed to do when he comes back then

[@kaztazable]

Lets be honest, vulnerability can be draining and you can't be like this with every guy who's hot and cold with you. It's just not healthy. You owe it to yourself to know when to leave the table when you don't agree with whats being served.

[@vnnswilliamgmailcom6096]

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[@sharmishtasaha6178]

True

[@sflo4538]

Yes. Sometimes the connection isn't that strong and you let it go and no harm, no foul. But other times, you know you like each other alot and he's making excuses, so saying something is worth it because maybe, if he knew how you feel, he'd make more time. I think that's giving him and the situation the benefit of the doubt. He may not do anything about it, but at least you can walk away with no regrets that if you had done or said something, things may have been different.

[@VIDEOHEREBOB]

Yes, but it's how you leave the table that counts to both of you. We're ghosting these days rather than appropriately saying goodbye.

[@kaztazable]

@@VIDEOHEREBOB The comment wasn't on how to leave. Please read again and comprehend

Also, the wrong person won't pursue you no matter what you do. Simply because of perceived incompatibility or lack of attraction or a psychological issue on their part. Not every relationship has to work 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@OrnOrrina]

100000% agree on this!

[@SMARTIN85]

Took me 4 years to figure this out.

[@manalosman872]

THIS IS SUPER TRUE!

[@wren5291]

I just realised this a while ago. They're no longer worth my time and dedication. However, it will be a civilised and respectful good bye.

[@foamybutt8646]

I think the wrong people can absolutely pursue you personally speaking

[@progresssena]

The thing that i picked from the video is, if you are important to him, he will make the time for you else he will find an excuse, a woman making the extra effort devalues herself immediately

[@leahkatrinacapistrano857]

We don’t always have to just let go. Sometimes we have to make an effort and if they still don’t meet us where we want them to be then it’s time to give up and choose ourselves. ❤

[@cha9165]

That's the healthiest way to deal with it

[@morganwhite2176]

I think thats great advice. Being vulnerable does not mean being weak, it means having the guts to actually say what you are looking for and if the other person doesnt reciprocate, then at least you didnt play games and were totally straight about it. Much easier to move on after that without wondering ‘what if’ because you said what you wanted to say.

[@jem154]

The amount of painful situationships I have created because I have feared vulnerability! Urghhh! Men have feelings too, so me being withdrawn for fear of rejection after they've shown interest 🤦‍♀️ is MENTAL 🥴 Not any more. It's just a self fulfilling prophecy of not being good enough - and creating that! ✨️ remaining forthright and unattached to the outcome. Don't ask don't recieve, if answer is no at least we know. No blurred lines. Taken a lot of soul searching to get to this place in my psyche. May e it's an age thing. No more time to f#k about 😆

[@altynaikurmanalieva2009]

Being vulnerable only made myself a hero in my own eyes, but it never brought me any results. I always tried to be honest and vulnerable, and it actually scares guys. They are scared of a strong person, stronger than them. Last time I dated guy he throw me into situationship because of his insecurities and I couldn't handle anymore, so I just blame him straight to his face, how dirty it was to say and act like interested and after he caught my attention just throwing like that bullshit. I think we have to stop being too nice and actually hold people accountable for their actions and words.

[@morganwhite2176]

@@altynaikurmanalieva2009 I agree with you but when we meet the right one, vulnerability is good. I think thats how, for me anyway, I measure if I am with the right people, If a guy acted put off by honesty and vulnerability, I would just move on but I never changed my softness because then the right guy would suffer and miss out on that. Stay true to who you are, but just don’t give your time to men who are idiots, and not ready to be serious. I think a lot of them pretend to be better than they are, just move on, but don’t let them change you XxXx

[@brennam954]

On the contrary, being vulnerable takes bravery. But due to patriarchy our society sees vulnerability as a weakness because in a way you are making yourself more open to criticism, rejection, other people hurting you, taking advantage of you, etc. But it takes bravery and security in yourself to be vulnerable.

[@PaulineLievens]

@@brennam954 so true

[@kimasp7482]

It's ALL excuses! If they REALLY liked each other, the excuses would stop and they would BOTH MAKE time for each other.

[@tinamicciolmt4987]

Agree….game playing is not healthy

[@uomario1247]

It’s easy to say, but those dumb actions come mainly from fear.

[@sailor_mew4413]

@@uomario1247 Agree, fear of how the other person might react. What if they will reject you? I usually play it "cool" and make jokes about being not really interested, just because I'm scared the other person might think I'm needy or pushy when I show my true feelings for them.

[@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy]

Yes, I agree that people would make time for each other. Years ago, it didn't seem like guys acted hot and cold in my dating world. Nowadays people seem to be more greedy, more superficial, want instant gratification (especially if they don't like their lives), and social media seems to have influenced this kind of behavior. People just seemed a little bit happier (and I think more trusting) before Facebook was invented. My ex had jealousy issues and behaved like our relationship was just a game. He became very possessive and controlling. So I guess you could say that he was hot and cold in his own way. He would be so happy and loving towards me, and then cold and emotionally abusive the next day. I don't even know if I will be ready for a relationship again.

[@Arachne-qw1vr]

It's been a month, their fine. Everybody has a different pace when they see each other

[@TheHappiness1980]

If he pulls away , I will run away further in the opposite direction

[@kathymargatines3450]

Me too...I won't waste any second for him to hurt me .

[@alishastudart8510]

This is fearful avoidance

[@originalgoldengoddess]

I'm genuinely not looking for a relationship... but if I happen to meet someone that I feel is a great match for me and worth giving a chance to then I would definitely consider it. Actively looking for a relationship is one of the most draining things in the world

[@Inca1122]

Oh Matthew, you are a Godsend. I had this exact situation come up this morning and I didn't know how to reply without sounding "needy" or a "doormat" OR ghosting because I wanted to "show him". This helps me reply with respect for myself and what I want and put me in the drivers seat over my needs.

[@sanna1984]

How did it go?

[@Pollyk]

Being honest, for me can be hard to distinguish if I'm being vulnerable or needy. Saying "a little disapointed I did't hear from you" would be hard. I would probably pretend I didn't care he disapperead. Because in my mind, people find time when they want, so why insisting on someone who doesn't care that much? I would like to learn more about being vulnerable and assertive whithout feeling bad about myself.

[@jacintahearn5586]

Love this, I completely agree.. Love Matthew's perspective but also yours.

[@KatalinaKris]

I also feel this. Like why force vulnerability from someone who ignored you the whole weekend? They had others plans that they tried not to purposely include you in. When usually a man messages only in the weekdays its because they're looking for an escape in their drab workplace. A spicy situationship to the mundane. Fuck that.

[@jacintahearn5586]

@@KatalinaKris yes indeed..im more towards this perspective. Vulnerability is great to show but why with someone that clearly is not thinking of you and making time. If they really wanted to, they would

[@simple4kill]

Exactly this. No matter how much they say they like me, if I get left on 'seen' more times I'd care to count, and not hear from them after I iniciated previous conversation and tried to keep it going, I do not believe they genuinely like me. Maybe visualy, but not _really_ . The only way I will be vulnerable is if you physically attack me.

[@1101G12646]

At the end of the day, it depends on which person chooses to fold. I think vulnerability is a beautiful thing, not really a devaluating act. The guy also may be thinking the same way as you. It sucks, but I guess the idea is that a guy should always fold first 😆

[@22Steamboat]

We live in a world of technology. No matter where we are in the world, we can connect. If you’re interested there is ALWAYS time for a text, phone call, FaceTime etc.

[@NofyahShemTov]

But long distance has a Time limit. Eventually, someone has to move

[@NofyahShemTov]

@@christiancameron3781 but it's still got an expiration date

[@Batirtze-b6x]

Always.

[@okashi10]

You make such a good point in this video: when people adopt someone else's excuses to describe the situation. It can lead to letting someone get away with all sorts of things... not just being distant, but even more harmful things. One of my friends was dating a guy who told her "I want to keep our relationship a secret to protect it" and she adopted that like "oh our relationship is so new and people might judge so WE'RE keeping it private." But what that really led to was him isolating her from her friends and support networks, and cheating on her with 5 other girls (many of whom also thought they were just "keeping their relationship private").

[@daniellehenecia_dprdreamers06]

If that guy was interested in the woman they would of made her a priority not an option. Dating is hard enough without having someone that they think you aren't important or enough for them. Thank you Matthew for your always honest insights to dating and relationships. Another stellar video! 🙌🙌👏👏👏

[@myperspective-123]

I am in this in-between stage right now. I patiently wait for the guy I really like to reach out again and then I let him know how glad I am to hear from him (positive praise instead of a shaming tone). However, I only wait a couple days to hear from a guy! If he’s blown me off for a several days or not set up another date, I’m clearly not important in his mind. So,…he’s out. I won’t stop dating other guys until he’s approached the idea that he wants to be exclusive. Otherwise, I’m still free, waiting for the right guy to see what he has.

[@janejetson748]

This is a perfect response, to me.

[@osagieafe2938]

This approach seems little passive, b/c your waiting on the guy to do leg work

[@11cacoo]

as a guy, if a girl is dating multiple men thats a serious red flag. you think its efficient but its not because all of those guys will not take you seriously if they know there are other guys in your life.

[@mimi7914]

Excellent point!!!!! I think too it is SO difficult to locate/find someone that we have feelings for in the first place so that when it does happen we make excuses and close our eyes to red flags unfortunately.

[@arankagionetti2098]

When he's pulling a way give hime a huge push!!!

[@DJEhizTips]

Hahahaha

[@talesfromtheroad9530]

😂

[@kristir1262]

Wow. It's kindda mind-blowing that someone has the exact same issue as i do, at the same time. My one and a half month guy has been very disinterested lately, and no communication for bit over a week. He was genuinely busy (we work in different units of same entity)... But that doesn't mean i forgive and forget all the tears i cried 😑. Something needs to change. Peace to all ✌️

[@iammorrissey]

One whole week and no communication means waste of time, investingin waiting will highly likely bring nothing.

[@Tamarindgyal]

Met a guy, he was only interested in one thing, we discussed it. After I clearly thought about the fact that that doesn’t reconciled with my needs, I stopped and remained friends. Super crushing approach, like going cold turkey!!! Brutal. But it had to be done, everyone gets to choose, he also has that right and I need to accept it without attitude.

[@boglarkatoth102]

I loved the fact that you're giving templates of how some messages can be phrased! It actually makes me realize that sometimes when using such messages, I was gaslighted into thinking that my message was too much but seeing such a message from you makes me realize that I drew the wrong conclusion. There was nothing wrong with the message, all I had to do was to realize that the person I sent it to was not someone I was compatible with.

[@IIISincerelyIII]

All teaching aside. Matthew, how do you remain to never age. i'm 26 now and i've been watching you since i was 12 years old. i just thought that was insane. i can tell you're a man that definitely loves himself and definitely cares for his body on a daily. just a compliment. lovely teaching and thank you for the videos. ❤

[@jadegreen1554]

Your videos help me feel safe to face my vulnerability. You’re always so warm and gentle and it helps. Thank you so much.

[@natalieh8023]

This my very personal opinion but I feel like if it’s the right person you’ll know right away it’s who you want to be in a relationship. You won’t go through all of these ups and downs in the beginning or feel like you have to follow these ‘steps’ so to speak for it to evolve into a relationship. You know when you know as my mom likes to say.

[@Okashime]

Life is too fucking short to play dumb cat & mouse games with guys. I've dealt with guys like this who is unsure about me or about what he wants in general. Went for 2-3 great dates with future talk and all that shit but in the end he gets cold feet since it gets too real then decide to stay casual/friends with me because he's unsure if he's ready for serious relationship. I decided to moved on and now I'm in amazing relationship but this past dude still try to show up begging for me to come back / date him & gave him another chance. Told him that he had his chance and he blew it himself. I'm glad it happened because I'm happier than ever with my current relationship :) never stay with someone who isnt sure about being with you.

[@suzanne7399]

Just what I needed. Thank you so much 🎉❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@Okashime]

@@suzanne7399 your welcome, hope it will works out for you!

[@purpledoodle06]

Wow I literally did this last night, glad to have reassurance that what I did was right 😊 you’re right, I’m someone who wants a real relationship, so I have to own up to it, so I can communicate my standards and boundaries

[@jessicaappel538]

The fact that Audrey is in the thumbnail makes my heart so happy! Love seeing your relationship unfold in those little ways ❤

[@user-pk5pl7ox1e]

When he asks me questions, I tell him I'd love for him to ask me over the call. It's up to him now because in his court! I've had enough of texting! BORING!

[@soul-etude]

A very powerful video Matthew. Thank you! I have now discovered the "we concept", that you unmasked that truly interferes quite often with the new relationship where "we" is not actually yet even established. Your videos have helped me much to express myself sincerely and openly. And oh my God, it gives me so much strength and confidence. Saying what you feel is such a force to reckon with! And you are so right that it makes us more human. Thanks a lot!

[@soumighosh5736]

If he pulls away, stay away from him and let him live his life

[@tasrajwani]

I love the vulnerability filter breakdown! Brilliant! I should do this more with my self- admitting to what I really feel and want, unapologetically.

[@karanprashantsaxena7408]

Hi Matthew, I know your channel and program are mostly for women, but I have recently been going through quite a painful rejection - and your videos has been helping me a lot. Thanks, cheers.

[@roser8911]

I was begging last year because he dumped me and blocked my number. He unblocked me on 9/27/2021. And he showed up at my new gym on 12/14/2021 and he started to chase me again. He was like “hey how are you? Can I work out here with you? I said “hey it’s good to see you, I’ll talk to you later”, and I never went back to that gym. So recently back in 8/4/2022.. he showed up at my new gym again and I acted cold to him. He regret losing me 😂…

[@madeleinedoyle1790]

Way to take your power back! Brava!

[@sharma.sonuofficial]

My ex tried to reachout recently after a year i didn't look back.

[@Berserker793]

Good. A man should never look back, only forward.

[@lovingloyallibra432]

Rose R, They always come back after you have moved on and got over them and they always regret losing you after they were mean and mistreat you, when they find out the grass wasn’t as green as they thought with the other person they dumped you for… I have been there before… It is definitely a hard struggle when you really like a person but your story will inspire someone else… I am proud of you… #GirlPower💕💕

[@boomerangsruckflug8513]

Best reaction ever! Meaning kick idiots out of your life asap leads you one step closer to the right man!

[@tanjailic4457]

Your videos are getting better and better all the time.. you are building the story the right way, you are funny, intelligent and you really care, it shows, thank you very much for your effort

[@altynaikurmanalieva2009]

I had been honest and vulnerable and showed my needs confidently for past 2 years . Only I've got as a result guys actually throwing me into situationships, and me just thanking them and leaving. I am done dating, from now on I decided just live my life. Honestly I am tired and I don't believe that anyone can actually be serious with me. I gave up dating at age 30. So sad.

[@solarqueen2555]

Girl honestly same. I am stable on my own, mentally and financially so it's fine. But the number of situationships these days is insane!

[@nishaniahangama308]

He always talk on to the point no BS . Thank you Mathew for educating us

[@lizf2610]

Your advice is always so comforting and reassuring while simultaneously being so helpful

[@Hailey-Poulton]

I’m in a similar situation right now and I’ve been wanting to talk to him about it. This is a great way to ease into that. Thanks Matt!

[@Tavishmann]

It’s kinda crazy how nobody’s talking about the book Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest.

[@v.f.3615]

What‘s it about?

[@casperinsight3524]

Effective communication will make or break a relationship. TY for keeping it real with your words of wisdom ~ Much Appreciated 😎😘

[@elep4043]

We in a Wild West dating scene, Matthew. We’ve been vulnerable with men as many times as we got hurt. We tried it all.

[@Nah-ah]

I personally don’t think the guy is interested. She should either keep it casual or break it off, period. Why remind yourself every other week/month (when you see him) “this is not going anywhere.” ?

[@jinnms6639]

The exact same thing happened to me, his schedule is too packed and he said “it makes me miss you more when I talk to you” so he said he couldn’t talk as much as usual, and we already down to only talk once a week. Total bs😂

[@MadameJohnnyDepp]

I ❤️ how he shows the actual Text example. I hope Matthew shows more videos with text examples

[@lillyhu7399]

It is supposed to be like a best friend, you catch up where you were last time, no matter how much time has passed. You use the schedule to feed the relationship.

[@0Enidan0]

Thank you for this video, Matthew. Being vulnerable takes courage--the courage to risk being hurt again and again. But, I do believe that without a risk, there is no reward. Vulnerability creates the opportunity for great victory in relationships--for something real to be cultivated. This video really validated a recent experience I had. I remembered your advice about putting myself out there, and even though the relationship didn't end up where I wanted it to go, I am proud of myself for owning my needs and "keeping my side of the street clean." Would eventually love to see more content from you on relationship advice that moves past the initial stages. Thanks for all you do.

[@starcharx9139]

We were texting for two months and he just stopped communication. He eventually asked me out on a date weeks before but always flaked when it came to actually planning and kept saying we would meet up one day. One day I had enough and just texted asking if anything is going to progress past the talking stage and he has not replied. I can see now he was just stringing me along.

[@nursesam1740]

MATTHEW HUSSEY has done it again! I love hearing content in many different facets because it helps reiterate standards and allows that vulnerability to come through early on so that time isn’t wasted. You constantly reaffirm to establish that we have a great time and a great life apart from the relationship we are starting or are currently in. This allows established ways we can be bold which prevents sooo much time being wasted. Feel more high value in the last two years than Im my whole life. Thank you!

[@RiceSnow777]

If he’d wanted to, he would.

[@lisaholm9710]

You are helping me so much. I'm in the middle of all of this and feeling very vulnerable.

[@themystical3282]

Matthew you are such a down to earth, kind and sweet man. I hope you've had a great start for 2023! :) May your creativity expands as well as your willingness to help people out there.

[@cintalopez-teijeiro5683]

Not the subject but I love your English! Not my mother lenguage so I really love when someone talks as clear/neat as you. Thanks for It.

[@jojkavargova6704]

Amazing, this is hard enough as we are scared to be judged nowadays only because we clearly say what our desires are. ❤❤thank you Matthew 🙌

[@rebecca4958]

Thank you Matt for all you post. The pattern I wish to change and release is the need to people please and then feel guilty if I do not. I need to release the guilt and that doing things for myself and not others is not selfish 🤗❤️😊

[@gigig2345]

men hate to hear the word disappointed and will see you as desperate

[@daraevdokimova2836]

jeez this is a bullet right in my head... why I keep getting in these relationships

[@greek1834]

I decided to pull away because she would never text first or take days to respond even though she would watch my stories and still not respond after I texted to make plans. It’s unfortunate cause the 2 dates we went on were great and the chemistry was definitely there. Instead of just communicating effectively we just resort to ghosting in this day in age. This whole situation really messed with my mental state. I know my worth and I’m definitely worth more than this. My questions is: Should I remove her from social media?

[@sflo4538]

I would maybe try to unfollow her or block her stories or from her seeing yours but not remove her completely.

[@Keshitabg]

Ive been in your situation and its horribly painful

[@chuckie826]

No response is the response Period

[@elaisja]

It’s YOUR social media. Do whatever brings you peace. If you want to keep open communication for the future, then maybe just block her from viewing your stories. She might wonder what happened to you. But if you don’t care to speak to her again, just remove her altogether. Whichever brings you peace.

[@lmvdam]

If its difficult for you too see her stories/posts u can limit what u see from the profile without unfollowing

[@do.s.8875]

IMO If someone disappears during weekend it means he is in some relationship or mariage... Single person is available during weekends or at least keep in touch but definitely doesn't disappear completely.

[@familypfya]

That was me for 1 year and a half. You helped me let this person go and also move on…

[@ayonalovecoaching]

Such a quality video, I admire your work ethic Matthew. Beautiful masculine energy. Feels really good to watch.

[@pinkroses135]

Being vulnerable with someone emotionally unavailable sounds like a bad idea and trying to get him to see your humanity is also a huge red flag. Men prioritize what they want like crazy. No "making" a chase required. He doesn't care. Be honest with yourself and move along.

[@CiaobellaAmour]

Facts! Learned this lesson the hard way....

[@deem4690]

Facts love you Matthew but maybe do a long video on em unavailable men

[@carneliaOT]

Such a timely video for me. Thank you!

[@latani21]

Don't be vulnerable with a person who is just not there for you. Your instincts is telling You already, this is not the one. Hear it. I am not with you in this one Matthew. I can be only vulnerable with someone who dares to asks...what is going on with me. If u push me away, I give you tw same energy back. If you ask, I will say the truth.

[@brennam954]

But the fact that they pull away and then you do a dance with them by pulling away too shows you're not secure in yourself. You won't just tell them what you want or that your needs aren't getting met; you're just playing a game and mirroring their behavior rather than acting from a place of agency and empowerment. You're acting very passive and that is not a secure behavior. And in a way, you enable their behavior because they think you're cool with it.

[@yejinlee4641]

This is truly amazing, so much to learn and I can't wait to put these things in my situation immediately!! Thank you Matthew

[@georgiamansfield860]

If I haven’t heard from them all weekend I’ve already moved onto a new man HAHAHA

[@Nelly-jh7rm]

Thats the kind of inspiration i need LOL

[@cryscris]

Right!! haha. If they supposedly like you they'd definitely see you or make contact on the weekend. If they don't clearly they aren't interested enough!

[@NonStopParis]

Yes girl haha

[@georgiamansfield860]

@@majrminer would rather be

[@georgiamansfield860]

@@majrminer yes maj, probably is x

[@naturejelisabeth]

Thank you 4 sharing, what I really like about what you teach is, that it is so respectful and about underlying values!🌸I suggest your channel a lot to people, who are unhappy in their love life!👍🏻

[@MariaK222]

You always make time for the things that are important to you! :)

[@M4Nt4INA]

Omg I feel I’ve been caught 😂, this is what I also did. Maybe even still be doing. Damn I thought I would be already so aware now by going into confrontation with myself and beeing aware. Thanks for this video again !

[@sept2866]

Great advice Mathew! I think alot of people hear dating advice on YT and try to inject their own advice. 🤠

[@pinkroses135]

She may hurt now but boy will she be hurting 10 years down the road if this continues

[@jadegreen1554]

6:50 - one of the hardest things for me to understand is how people could be “things for their enjoyment” when they feel like it. Dear Matthew, please make a video about how men could hurt women (using them/viewing them 2 dimensionally) whether they know it or not. Sometimes men seem to not know they are using and hurting women. Please make a video GEARED TOWARD MEN - to illustrate (could even be instructive to young men growing up) about how to think about womens feelings and worth and not be clueless about the utter damage they cause.

[@hushpuppies872]

You nailed it. You are human with feelings. Absolutely!!

[@clissandre8681]

Thank you Matthew a lot for the free chapter and this video. I haven't had the feeling that I was agressive but I speak out straightforward when I want to communicate. I think it will be better To use your method

[@sarapowell46]

I LOVED this video! So insightful and practical. Thank you!

[@indrajukame]

This is books. The real life is quite different. Not all of men are as intelligent to understand this message and to respect that. Actually, the largest part aren't. My longlasting relationship started totally off the bookshelf advices and it lasts. The previous ones when I tried to listen to different coaches- didn't last.

[@jenniferknippenberg9554]

Omg! Thank you Matthew! I wish I had heard this information 9 months ago.

[@ayonalovecoaching]

I'd lose interest in someone like that quickly...🤷🏼‍♀️ The world is full of wonderful men.

[@EDA_OFFICIAL_1]

Really loving this, great work Matthew

[@kauigirl808]

If he wants to go, happily return him her where they came from. FREEDOM. 🎉 Focus on goals. Continue to explore.

[@natural3362]

Ladies! We must not be afraid to die alone! Just don't stoop yourself too low or low down your boundaries! I mean come on mate

[@nicolesuarezvargas5644]

Amazing video Matt, just what i needed to hear!! Thank you for your work, i appreciate it so much! 🙏👍💕

[@IamwhoIam333]

I have my first long distance relationship and he does have a busy schedule. So we text alot. I don't make any demands. I tell him about my day, I try to share cute personal stories so he can get to know me. If I don't hear back I don't stop telling him me and my day. I don't stop living my life because of this relationship. If he makes a demand or negative remark I turn his statement right back at him. If he responds like a child I ask him how old he is; that I don't want a relationship with a child or anyone who can't stand on there own two feet. I will get the silent treatment sometimes but I don't react to it. I either trust him or I don't. So whatever he wants to do with his anger is up to him. It's his, he owns it.

[@IamwhoIam333]

Done

[@cryscris]

I don't do 'silent treatments' at all. That shows your communication skills are below par. Making demands are dealbreakers as well because that can evolve to manipulation and being emotionally abusive. I can't trust someone like that and if I can't trust you I can't be with you. I'd exit stage left.

[@drshohinidas4051]

Love the vulnerability filter part

[@GodHelpMe369]

Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on. It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. I don’t play any of these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. Because I am a beautiful and kind and sexy and wise and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period.

[@vjcarter4657]

I’m glad I show my humanity.

[@Mermaid03_03]

I loved this. I have to get better at doing some of these things such as communicating clearly without blame and being vulnerable.

[@ljmotivate4u680]

Thanks for sharing. I see it differently. When you meet someone both must speak about their expectations beforehand on their dinner night and see as time goes on how they are both willing to manage those expectations. When you apply to work in an organisation, they don't tell you their expectation after making you sign a contract. The reason is that they want to be sure that you understand their value to see if you find it as something you can commit to.

[@MoonsAnarchy]

A relationship is not a contract signing.. you cannot frame human connection in from a place of working in an organization. There might be similarities but the human heart does not work by those rules.

[@ljmotivate4u680]

@@MoonsAnarchy okay, understand your opinion. However, relationships in my own opinion are invisible psychological contracts. When you expect something from others and when you don't make it visible to their awareness, you may wonder why they can not keep up with your expectations.

[@solarqueen2555]

My strategy is to show love and attention right out the gate, and to be consistent even if the guy wavers/is distant. Then if his distance becomes a pattern and i am more disappointed than happy, i will stop reaching out with no explanation. Usually a few weeks in they'll come around and he like "wait how are you? What's been going on?" And i'll be polite and responsive but never feed the love again unless they level up. Works like a charm. I don't play games. But i do mirror coldness. And they are so confused that the cup of love is suddenly empty. The good ones will step up though after some time to think. I promise!

[@RiseandShineHolisticWellness]

I tried this. And you know what his reply was? “The same stretch of time you go without hearing from me, I go without hearing from you” and exclaimed we should always be pursuing each other. So then what? I truly do not believe this should be this hard.

[@EdithBurchett]

I think a lot of Matthews videos are very interesting and do work somehow. I learned a lot about psychology, myself... But Its sometimes so hard, not become so strategic. Like, you can do all these things, follow these advice , A,B,C, but If you don't truly FEEL what your texting, your behavior, its a bit useless. At least that's my problem... Like I KNOW all these things in theory, but I do them with wrong intentions. I don't do them for myself, to protect ME, its like I do these things to achieve a goal and that dosent work. It feels like I am playing CHESS ALL THE TIME. Maybe it needs some more time and someday it will sink in and I will do these things intentionally for MYSELF

[@hanzadekayn7428]

I would love to join your retreat program but I live in a different country... I feel like you give the right medicine to treat me, thank you

[@anndillard8681]

Books to read FEAST OF MEN & REFLECTIONS OF THE CURSE - journey of a woman's heart.. men high on narcissistic spectrum always use excuses.. one after another.. they want you hanging on for when 'they want' you...

[@boomerangsruckflug8513]

And what expect? Do we really think, we'll get an intensive love in return from a guy who's already in the beginning not really interested??!

[@CiaobellaAmour]

All these videos online telling women on what to do to gain the guy's attention,get him to chase etc ....like that's a whole lot of work

[@fiberisacarb9877]

Exactly

[@stefycute6792]

A good way to show vulnerability. I hope you post more of this.

[@haewillph1646]

Happened to me recently. It got me confused, the first week we were okay. Miles and 7hours apart but we managed to talk simultaneously. A week later he became busy but would still message from time to time. Then on the 3rd week, he suddenly stopped. I'm not sure if I was vulnerable enough to trust him too soon and let go of my guard. It does hurt me but I think it's a two way street to work things out. I was actually willing to bend things but it just doesn't sit well with me that he can't give me a minute of his day, and the irony of it all is I'm a doctor for pete's sake 😅 I should be the one who's too busy 🤣🤣🤣 so yes it hurts but I have to move on 🤓

[@julanre3160]

Amen Amen Amen to this. So excellently stated. 💝

[@shielacaasi3139]

Captivated by your insights. Wonderful advice. You made me a subscriber😊. Looking forward to hearing more.

[@siuzannavyshneva6312]

That was beautifully genuine and meaty! Huge thanks!

[@mariagi97]

Hey Matthew! Another lovely video of yours! Could you PLEASE make a video discussing "is he shy or not interested?" I am sure quite a lot of ladies have been troubled by this question.