getting honest about cheating, should you drop out of college, and can you be queer and religious?

[@kencoleman5007]

I was at the Pride Month parade for Boston, and some drag queen turned up their nose while walking past, saying that I was dressed too "straightcore". I was thinking "Dude, don't start with me. Dressing less femme gives me gender dysphoria. Especially in Pride Month, what makes you think that you can go around condemning how other queer people present themselves?". Personally, I thought that it was rather bold for me to wear a semi-deep scoop-neck collared shirt. I had to tighten my bra to be more confident that my inserts wouldn't flop out. It might be weirdly affirming if I looked so passable as cisgender that it angered a drag performer. Especially when later that day, a supermarket clerk called me "Sir".

[@yourlocalavocado2948]

These kinds of comments from others are so sad and unnecessary, I'm sorry that happened to you. One time I went out with friends to a gay bar and they were met with similar reactions from other queer people there, stating that my friends were "surely straight" simply because they were "dressed too straight". Like, isn't the whole point of the LGTBQ+ community to accept and take others in as they are when parts of cishet society doesn't? Such a shame to see people judging others within the community based on how they present themselves.

[@janethorozco8586]

@@yourlocalavocado2948 i think a lot of people in the community forget that its not about how you physically present yourself but about who you love and how you identify , everything else should be up to what the person is comfortable with & not trying to fit into what people think you should look like

[@kencoleman5007]

Thank you. I'm often left explaining to co-workers the differences between drag and cross-dressing, and between cross-dressing and being trans. I attended an exhibit that Boston's MFA was throwing about gender and fashion to cross-promote during Pride Month. As someone self-conscious about the size of my ribcage and shoe-size whenever at DSW, I was hoping that at least part of the exhibit was "women's dept.' clothing designed with varieties that can also stylishly MTF's. Right at the entrance, the curator (I'm guessing a TERF) had posted a glossary of when to call people transgender, crossdressing, gender-nomconforming, transsexual, etc.), and the exhibit was full of either clothes that AFAB people wore to look androgynous, and purposefully androgynous clothing free of any possible gender constructs (presented as a future of fashion). smh Fortunately, there was also a great Toulouse-Leutrec exhibit with a few art nouveau pieces by Mucha. In an unexpected piece of performance art with a twist, their was a college-y aged provocateur throwing a tantrum because their Sharpie mustache wasn't having a big shock & awe effect.

[@leopardshadow333]

You *can* go to college anytime! My mom always wanted to be a teacher, she went back to school and got her masters degree in special education in her late 40s and she absolutely loves her work now.

[@ChaseTerrier]

Nola Ochs graduated from college at 95 years old. After seeing your post, I looked up "oldest person who graduated from college" online and her name came up.

[@maiu1922]

My mum just finished her early childhood education course and she’s 58! She studied art history when she was younger, then went into the media industry and now she’s a kindy teacher :)

[@Feliiii]

in my country it's a big deal here unfortunately. basically everyone just forced to go to the college/uni after school, otherwise "you're not like everyone else" :c

[@slaternapier1640]

I went to college a little older, used my down time of not having a job during the pandemic to start college, just got my degree earlier this year! During college, I found an office (mostly remote) job in an industry I love and with a company thats treating me pretty dang good. When just before the pandemic I was considering committing my life to a career in customer service/retail management (like Walmart, actually, literally salaried for Walmart) which was making me SUPER depressed despite knowing the money I would start making with signing the contracts. Its never too late

[@saveriascalzo9584]

​​@@Feliiii are you italian?

[@What_if_i_dont]

As a gay religious person, YOU CAN BE LGBTQ+ AND RELIGIOUS! I’ve been going to the same church for 4+ years, and I found a lot of other lgbtq+ (including most of the children I’ve adopted there) and I’ve found Allies, and some of my best friends are from my church

[@hail2287]

Sameeeee

[@ArielLinee]

Same here! I feel very privileged to have found a queer-affirming church, but I also make it a point to use that privilege to speak out against spiritual warfare aimed at the queer community

[@chicken7762]

In here in the Philippines so many religious member of lgbtq+

[@n0tmxiaxx]

ur so lucky omg

[@christina-clairegeorges3661]

With gender dysphoria I think you gave great advice. Additionally, if the person can find small things such as a shirt that maybe is a little more in alignment with their true gender expression or a backpack or a keychain, they become sort of like milestones on the path without compromising their safety. Elliot Page discussed journalling at an early age and creating a whole profile that was in alignment with who he is. These are possible techniques that may help. Eventually, the milestones can become bigger, and the journal that may have represented a dream can become your lived ideal as you hopefully find a place and people who accept you for the person you are.

[@Makingemi]

thank you SO MUCH, this is fantastic advice.

[@isaurasouza4979]

Yess! And I'd also add enjoy the spaces where you do have a lil bit of extra freedom to use and abuse of those itens that do make you feel more like yourself! I, thankfully, live in an accepting family, but it still took a while for me to feel comfortable to dress the way that most aligned with myself around them, or even at school. But I started shifting my style little by little when I was around my friends. They would not be judgy so I could experiment and kinda free myself in that space.

[@brennenderanubis7993]

To everyone who reads that I hope you're doing well and have a great day!!❤

[@Makingemi]

❤

[@Macy-kn6ol]

You sound so much happier in this video mak, it’s nice to hear you sound so energized. Love all that you do ❤

[@ramblemadlyon]

I've recently started watching your videos (& podcast!), and I really appreciate how thoughtful and nuanced you are when answering questions like these! I'm queer and Jewish, and I've found a lot of joy in the ways these identities intersect and compliment each other. I'm very fortunate to be in a religious space where queer folks are celebrated, as I know that it's definitely not the case everywhere. But I personally love chatting with queer religious folks, because I often find commonalities between our various experiences -- even across diverse religious traditions and different flavors of queerness. Great video!

[@anonanon2712]

you said it far better than i could. very much agree as a gay Muslim!

[@ragreen2]

Thanks for the Q&A. I love the Chosen Family podcast too - Thanks so much for your contribution to that conversation ❤ I'm Christian and I wish that so many other Christians weren't horrible to LGBTQ+ ... I'm an ally in a LGBTQ+ inclusive church, and it hurts my heart how so very many people use their belief in God to harm others. I definitely understand how it can be hard to impossible to get past that spiritual abuse. I think that you are more loved by the divine than any of us can know.

[@sharonlove224]

For the person asking about "gender dyphoria when living in a place that is not accepting", the online presence is a good suggestion if it's possible. To be in an (online) space as you really are inside can be tremendously helpful, as long as it's not in a context where anyone else could get hurt. In real life (trans man here; my username is a inside joke/pun 🙃), even if you are not outwardly able to express your gender as you'd like to, there is a lot of power in having or wearing something that only you know about. If the desired gender expression is aligned with one of the binaries, a trans guy could use a small packer in loose clothes for example, or men's underwear. I know lots of people who have done this kind of thing and been helped along by it. YOU can feel a little more like yourself, even if it's not visible to others. A huge caveat, though: it really depends what "a place that is not accepting" actually looks like. If the accidental discovery of your affirming clothing/item would cause awkwardness or embarrassment, you'll have to weigh your choices of whether/how often you do it. BUT if accidental discovery would actually put you at physical bodily risk, then you really have to make your mind your affirming item for the time being, as Mak said about hope. Take care - dysphoria sucks; I get it.

[@kynasohi6675]

Mak you're really an inspiration you make me feel so better. Thankyou for doing this 💗💗💗

[@Makingemi]

Thank you for supporting my content! Couldn't make it without you guys

[@Feliiii]

warm greetings! this video really made me feel at peace c: i've watched a lots of your videos lately and it helped me a lot during this difficult time of mine and i'm very grateful for that. the "right now isn't forever" part just stuck in my head, those are such right words, i honestly wish i had this in my mind earlier, could have saved more nerves :c anyways, thank you for your videos, your channel is like a small safety island for me and i believe for others too! stay safe and keep shining bright mak, much love!

[@Makingemi]

I love you! II'm sorry you're having a difficult time, sending big hugs

[@Feliiii]

@@Makingemi aw, it made my heart melt :') thank you

[@someonesomehow379]

thank u mak!! I really appreciate u and what u do .. ik it can get pretty difficult on social media and we are here for u. take care of yourself and I’m so proud of u for how far you’ve come ..

[@kaiya33123]

Needed this today❤🥰 Thank you for the content you make and for being you! I'm so glad you're here in this world❤

[@slaternapier1640]

Imma comment at least twice, but I had to get this out of the way before really watching. I recently found you in the social media algorithms, and man, are you something special. I'm a straight-transman today, but for most of the 21 years before that, I identified as a lesbian, living with a less-than-accepting family (its one person, not everyone). I remember having some representation, but not much. I remember being bullied, so I became a bully for awhile. I remember how different, yet the same those times and these times are. I remember feeling, lost. Your content is beautiful and heart warming. I know how I would have appreciated creators like yourself and the collabs you do when I was young, I'm thankful the youth have it today. You have a nice balance of open, funny, informative, deep, and passionate content. Nearly any mood someone is in, you've got some content that fits. Thank you, now to watch the rest of the video

[@Emily.03]

I love these types of videos, I always lear a lot from you. Please do more of these!

[@trueholayoga]

Son is growing so fast as a fan of the podcast I can tell how much you matured since the start of it. All the love for you and your girlfriend as well as your podcast mates. Keep being you and happy pride month!

[@tirs13969]

i love the religion part! thanks for sharing ur thoughts! 3:52

[@pearcheese455]

I missed you so much Mak,you always look super pretty I hope you are well ❤

[@KennyGeez]

You have such a soothing and calming voice. You seem like a genuine person ❤️

[@foulplay9750]

As someone who is gay in a very homophobic family it’s a big struggle everyday to be who I am… to everyone out there in the same position it will be ok. You are perfect as you are. Don’t let anyone make you think any different. love you ❤️❤️

[@gavm8712]

I am also in this situation although sometimes it can be hard to embrace my identity I am getting there❤️

[@heyishitagg]

This video was so peaceful and wholesome ❤ thank you mak, you're beautiful, & i loved this video :) p.s. the bit about the chosen family pod was so cute 🥹

[@ashley2109]

I don’t regret dropping out either. I’m working on going back to school now, which is very hard for me but I learned that I do enjoy this career path. It’s important to remember I wouldn’t have met important people in my life or experienced what I have if I hadn’t dropped out. All those experiences teach us and lead us where we’re meant to go.

[@chimestonks]

loving these answers, its so nice to hear you talk about these things omg

[@HaileyMurphy360]

As far as dealing with gender dysphoria in a non-accepting environment: try to find subtle ways to experiment with your presentation that won't necessarily be noticed by others. Small changes can have a big impact on your self-esteem without raising eyebrows. Maybe grow your hair out an inch longer before getting it cut. Maybe buy a more colorful tee shirt if you have a tendency to only wear black. Maybe get a piece of clothing that's typically associated with the gender you were assigned at birth, but is a new silhouette for you. It doesn't have to be a big gesture - nor does it have to be a gendered one - for it to have a big impact. For myself, I started wearing items that are technically still for women, but are less femme. Like baggier pants, tighter sports bras, boyshort underwear, etc. I know this won't be as easy for everyone - I'm a white person living in an accepting city, and I've already been out as bisexual for over a decade - but when I wasn't ready to talk about my genderfluidity, those small things helped a lot. The majority of my presentation stayed the same, so I didn't have to talk about what was going on with me, but I still got to feel more comfortable in my clothing.

[@dallasdaniels99]

Hey Mak! I just wanted to say I like your videos and Happy PRIDE ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🙂

[@haniyahwasif16]

Mak we really needed a sit down/ talk video. It feels like am on a facetime call wit you, love it🫶 Edit: i had a smile on my face the whole video

[@Makingemi]

:,)

[@shayuh.]

I love your idea of saving pictures of outfits/styles you like

[@priscilabaptistaferreira3418]

Really nice and comforting video! I like the way you talk at lot, is really calming

[@gnasheor6721]

Watching this right after a break up, w the loml. Watching your videos is such a great escape for me.

[@huevosconpanuwu2524]

i love this kind of videos,hope you have a great day Mak ❤

[@SavvySaxy]

Hey Mak, I know you haven’t been very active on here lately so I hope you’re doing well. I only found your channel a few days ago and I’ve been watching a lot of it right now because it gives me comfort watching a queer person living their life while I’m still stuck in my homophobic household. You’re very open on camera about a lot of things and it helps me to feel like I have a friend who gets what I’m going through. I’m quite a few years younger than you, though, I’m not 18 for a couple more months, so idk if I ever met you if we’d vibe. It’s a fun thought to think about though. Like, if I saw Mak in person, would we be friends? I dunno. I take some inspo from you for like masc lesbian stuff. Though I have my own vibe I’m trying to pull off here. I play saxophone and I like kinda basing a large part of my personality on that. Kinda hey mamas vibe but I’m also not QUITE that confident. I just appear to be on the outside 💀. I, too, have grown up in the midwest. So yeah, thanks for the epic stuff you make and I hope you’re doing well 🫶 Edit: WAIT A SECOND I JUST REALIZED SPRINGFIELD IS IN OHIO! Bro! I live in Oxford! You grew up like RIGHT NEXT TO ME that’s really freaking cool to me. I mean, technically it’s a lil while away cuz it’s closer to Dayton but still. Maybe Google is lying to me, I always thought Springfield was in Indiana but then again I’m terrible with maps. I’m gonna go to Miami University next year if you know what that is. Man, I always get really excited when I find out a KZbinr is from Ohio Edit 2: I think the Google lied to me

[@brrrrrrrrit2663]

I’m 33 years old and completing my bachelors. It’s never too late, and truthfully, it was way easier now that I’m more mature.

[@rocklegends0773]

Your videos feel so special 💓

[@cookingwithchloe8061]

Thanks for this. I really needed this rn

[@leahwilbanks9004]

As for the religious thing, people really need to try and understand that there is a massive difference between religion and spirituality. Religion is a man-made concept used to control people. Spirituality is deeply personal and individual to the person.

[@hubear6607]

You explained the religion thing very good and put it all into words that i really needed to hear! Thnx

[@lindorrtml]

I missed such videos, they are so comforting ❤

[@yohitmanbang8516]

my take on the gender dysphoria question is that you can maybe find a style that you like that doesn't prompt your family to automatically think its queer. i have it slightly easier considering i was born a woman and i can dress really fem at times but otherwise im pretty gender neutral/leaning sort of masc. use their ignorance to your advantage. for example, my family doesn't really know what a lesbian looks like so when im home i can dress within the confines of their perceptions. of course there are things i can't do like go really hyper fem because in their eyes its inappropriate but its better than not being able to express yourself at all. hope this helps and like mak said, this period of your life will end, it will not always be this way.

[@Jesseniabellgorecki]

Love you Mak!

[@alexismatthews6275]

Queer and religious person here! It's hard sometimes because my family doesn't really approve, so I'm still in the closet. But I do have people that support my queerness.

[@emford7932]

Remember there's a difference between spirituality and religious. An indigenous leader I was talking to one time , said religion is controlly, spirituality is not controlly. Stuck with me and helped me alot. Be spiritual. I often say I'm homies with Jesus but the bibles just a story book mainly influenced by cultures at the time.

[@yourfavouritepigeononyt]

who else will just be scrolling on tiktok see mak post abt her new vid and absolutely SPRINT to youtube

[@BayAreaBerk]

Mak's Eyes are fantastic, esp the color...

[@IceyBM]

Thank you 🙏 ❤

[@marylouis-yl1pv]

im having like the worst... existence rn. as a representative of the baby gay community, i thank u for ur advice

[@matthijsclaessen8152]

That Chosen Family q&a… I bet the other two feel entirely the same!

[@hail2287]

Gay Christian here. I personally believe that religion is more about spirituality and less about what goes on throughout your life. So basically I dont think God cares who we love, as long as we love them purely and with good intent. Unfortunately humanity has twisted religion to push ideas and norms onto people. I believe real religion should be a lot less organized than people try to make it. Everyone’s relationship with God is different. The thing I hate most is when people use religion as propaganda. Religion should not be used as a way to force people to do what you want. Unfortunately because of this many people have been hurt by “religion”. I just want people to know God without the taint of humanity over him. I hate that religion has been twisted into a hateful device. That was kind of rant lmao. Whatever you believe in is chill 👌.

[@Caffeinated.Christy]

I'm still finding myself and how I want to look to make what I feel transfer to the look I want. Overweight is holding things up so working on it. Recently I've been obsessed with johnnie guilbert's look so figured out I aspire to look like that.eventually I will get my look together inside and out. Love the podcast and your videos ❤

[@clairezwolinski8829]

Hope your move goes well!

[@charvivig]

thank you so much. i really needed this. you provide me good vibes whenever you post. i feel so much better 🥹 i’m in a ldr too and i really love when you talk about it, your advices and stuff are really helpful and we understand and support you for keeping it private coz i believe it’s better.i love you and your content 🫶🏻

[@hannahtaylor6520]

My year off before college turned into working for several years and losing direction. I finally started college during a quarter-life crisis caused by unexpected pregnancy but still haven't started grad school because, well, life. Part of me regrets not going immediately and finishing but then I wouldn't have the relationships nor the experience I have now.

[@melizziaxrw]

the part of the clothes and parents being h0m0ph0bic advice was really helpfull, clothes are important for me because I can express myself but my mother won't let cause it's "too masculine" so thank you very much❤

[@lizolethumpambani5192]

Love your content ❤️

[@sake3857]

I really like this video and the questions! To me the cuts slightly zooming in and out are very exhausting tho... might just be me, idk

[@Makingemi]

haha its the KZbinr in me, not used to making slow paced videos!

[@jd-ttyl]

You look stunning, Mak

[@Fishful_Thinking4]

9:32 I wonder if participating in activities that feel gender affirming would offer a sense of validation for the time being, until you are in a safer space to expand that gender expression to physical presentation.

[@maddssmithy]

Its sad how often I see people online giving queer religious ppl hate even if that queer religious person acknowledges that religion and religious spaces have been abusive to many queer people. Don't know why its so hard to understand why a person, queer or otherwise, might get a lot of meaning out of being religious. Of course it is not always easy, especially if the place of worship is more orthodox in their views. but the way people talk about this issue is often absurd and I see bigotry and hate coming from both sides.

[@Adrian20242]

I am bisexual and a femboy

[@Adrian20242]

I love that podcast

[@sam_apollo1187]

yes make more of these

[@jjwatgonzales2407]

What’s the most subtle way to come out to parents ?

[@lluvabbs]

i feel like you can be queer and religious but you might not be able to embrace your queerness because in most religion that’s seen as a sin. idk if that makes sense . to me i don’t get how people can be religious and queen but to each their own

[@Makingemi]

in many westernized religions the ideology that being queer is a sin comes from incorrect interpretation or translation. Many of the religious texts were tampered with by people in power esp in the 1900s to support their own personal ideologies. Its sad to see but its nice that people know this now and it allows for people that have peace in their religion to hold on to it!

[@Rosie-z5e]

I still live with my parents and they refuse to let me cut my hair short. I’ve struggled with gender dysphoria ever since I started puberty (4 years ago) and it’s super hard for me, does anyone have any tips to help me convince them? (I am a cis female)

[@tomita_japan6814]

I tried college. Wasn’t for me. My dream job is to be a writer and you exactly need a degree to be a writer but I feel like my dad is disappointed that I’m not in school. Not my fault college wasn’t for me 😅😭

[@christina-clairegeorges3661]

Would really like to know about your green thumb? Your plants look really nice.

[@nogenemcguinty]

Completely irrelevant, but that sweater is so nice

[@Phiabobiabelle]

Hi mak!

[@CMacklane]

I like this kind of content

[@beatrix.farkas]

you are wearing my favorite sweater🤭

[@ChaseTerrier]

Is Mattea moving with you to Los Angles?

[@CMacklane]

Say nugget more

[@Makingemi]

LOL

[@josephcottone9909]

I feel like you have to separate the religion from its institute in order to find value in religion.

[@beez0544]

heyo people

[@anthonynixon3220]

Very beautiful

[@JosieDuncanSong]

How are your teeth so white? Goals

[@BlairBear-ni5nr]

My son has the same phone case! That’s so random 😂

[@verraguid]

you can be queer and religous but following *that* God doesnt make the most sense to be light abt it

[@Makingemi]

wouldn't make sense for me either personally, but for some it feels perfect for them! we all can only speak to our own experiences!

[@larissadeoliveira8414]

First here haha

[@IlllIlIIllllIllIIIlIllI]

In order to have religion when your very existence is something that said religion preaches against, you must remember that man wrote the books of religion. Man wrote the bigotry and the hatred into whatever religion you can think of by simply being the first to think about doing it. If a God were to truly exist, there's a very tiny chance that they're going to care if you like same sex individuals, or if you call yourself a woman when you were born with a penis, or that you put on "girl clothes" (gendered pieces of cloth lmao) because it makes you feel good. I find 0 value in religion, I feel like it's a waste of time, but I can see why someone would find comfort in feeling like they're being guided. Religious values aren't bad to hold, but when these "values" take a turn towards negatives, it's likely that it was done so intentionally as to push the person's views onto others in order to normalize such disgusting behavior.

[@rickyfranken-eilish6481]

Heyyyyyy❤❤❤❤❤

[@nhaedzwero43]

What do you mean your personal life is not a way for us to develop a parasocial connection while entertaining ourselves in the idea of being a part of it, much like a person reading a book feels about the protagonist in it? What do you mean it minimizes your experiences by having thousands of people commenting on what you should do like a sports fan shouting at the TV for the kicker to not miss? What do you mean it feels suffocating to have an unknown amount of anonymous faceless comments about you being thrown around like a tornado of information with you in the center? Honestly just make an autobiography explaining each minute detail of your life every week, thank you.

[@mitchducky962]

I said hello 👋🏾👉🏾🦻🏾👉🏾💪🏾👉🏾🌹👉🏾😎👉🏾📱🆒👏🏾👌🏾🆗😎

[@christopherlh4379]

Do you edit your own videos or do you have someone else edit them?

[@Makingemi]

I edit them!

[@someonesomehow379]

@@Makingemiyou are very talented mak!

[@oookoshka3734]

Am I the only one who is part of the LGBT community that is meh about pride?

[@DanGrant365]

Nah, you're not the only one. Not sure if here is the ideal place to chat about it, but I'm often left wondering, "are there really so few people that think like me?". I don't feel like part of 'the community' right now, I feel like we have lost our way in several regards.

[@oookoshka3734]

@@DanGrant365 that's exactly how I feel

[@DanGrant365]

@@oookoshka3734 yeahh, idk, it helps to know you're not alone at least 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@virgilmcclendon5072]

😎😃😊😜😍😘💖🌹

[@XBshana]

I just realized you look like Ace from nancy drew 🤔 😮😊