Getting it all Done, Setting Priorities Rebelling Against Mediocre Motherhood with Abbie MisforMama

I just loved this discussion with Abbie, from M is for Mama. She is a mom of 10, with four of those being two sets of identical twins! She graciously shares her evolution as a mom, what got her through the harder seasons and how she is able to take things in stride with the perspective that comes from seeing some of your kids grow beyond the baby phase. She has so much wisdom to share with all of us!
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Instagram- / m.is.for.mama
Blog- misformama.net/
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The KZbin channel- / farmhouseonboone Instagram - / farmhouseonboone
Thanks again for listening and I'll see you in the next episode of the Simple Farmhouse Life podcast!

[@eversmanfamily]

I have raised 5 young adults.......have their heart! I never treated them like a "teen".......I treated them like a young adult. There are no teens in the Bible. Don't expect them to be a pain. They have all been great to raise. Young adults are a blessing to raise.

[@heartsandmindsathome]

I love this 💛

[@christineshah7330]

I agree. None of my teenagers are a pain. They all have their independent personalities, preferences, quirks...whatever...but they aren't a pain. We are all just living here together and sometimes it is smooth and easy and sometimes one of us is in a mood. That is not pathological, it is just being human. They have certainly shown me grace throughout their childhood when I wasn't perfect. I can do the same. They are good people.

[@patsycrocker8483]

One of my favorite comments by a utube blogger is we are not raising children, we’re raising adults.

[@junipertree2601]

If you act like motherhood is as important as a job, you probably won't let yourself perpetually be a hot mess.

[@diannemiller4754]

I sure do wish I had realized my children were able to do chores efficiently. They are adults now a are training their children very well. So good to hear mom's teaching others how to be better, less stressed, etc.

[@janetgrooms4008]

Raising my children was the hardest time of my life -- but may I say it was the best time of my life -- im 70 years old but I love every video Lisa shares

[@aimtok]

Extremely encouraging for me, I have a 7 year old and 3 year old. Been going through a rough patch for the last while. This conversation came at a great time for me. It’s hard to imagine past the rough patches when you are in the middle of one. Thank you so much!

[@elizabethsydnor3257]

Thank God you are training your kids to accomplish things. My mother made us do very few chores, and it crippled me as an adult because I didn't know how to cook or clean very well at all. Please let your kids contribute...

[@joemmel4743]

I have so enjoyed your conversations together. It's so encouraging when the gospel is connected to motherhood practically. The gold moment of this conversation for me was "I think that's short changing the gospel.." to which my ears perked up and my heart said "what am I missing!?" It's hard to see if I'm growing as a mama day by day, because today's discouragement can be so much louder than the Christ promising He is making me a new creation and yes we will get better!! Love it 💜

[@Carolyncreatesmore]

Such wisdom in this interview! I love Abbey’s perspective against “mediocre” motherhood! The whole “hotmess” wallowing mentality that’s so prevalent in our society is concerning and filters into the best of homes. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and encouragement!

[@MrsKatieP]

Hi Lisa & Abbie, thank you so much for chatting again. I went back and re-listened to Episode 80. I really appreciate your perspectives as Christian moms who have gone before me and don't believe that motherhood is the "lost years". I'm 38 and had my first kiddo last year. I have gained so much peace from y'all sharing what it's like to see the fruit of the effort that I'm daily pouring in. It's great to hear other women say "you haven't seen the fruit of your efforts yet" as it reminds me my whole motherhood won't be saying "no" and hearing how displeased, in screaming form, my son is with that answer. One day I will see fruit. 🎉🎉🎉

[@JustMakinItWork]

Love listening in on other large family Mommas❤

[@reginaherschberger3566]

Thank you so much for the encouragement that it is possible to raise godly teenagers today!!May God continue to bless you!

[@vintagebeliever5023]

I heard so much negativity about the teens years from a "friend", it scared me. Yet, it wasn't that bad. We had a few hiccups along the way but for the most part, I enjoyed it. And all 4 of my children are close with me. My daughters are my best friends. 🥰

[@deeannsullivan343]

I'm Dee from Australia. I have a 26 yr old son and a 29yr old son who I'm very close. My advice is tell them you love them everyday. Tell them if they have done wrong. Be honest all the time but always show LOVE 💖💖💖🙏

[@jessc6119]

Absolutely loved this! I feel so blessed to have both of you mommas as resources! I really struggled with my own childhood and am slowly becoming more confident in my own motherhood journey! My first is six months old and I’m expecting my second baby next summer!

[@sarahlandreth1748]

The last topic reminded me of this... And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: Romans 5:3‭-‬4

[@rachellebrooke4614]

I’m so glad you and Abbie did another podcast! I listened to the last one several times! I’m reading a book about Susanna Wesley mother of 19 and the youngest of 25! And while some of those children died, she’s so inspiring to read about! Thanks for sharing! I’m praying God blesses us with more children and that He’ll guide me with the children He did give me !

[@Sssilentlaugh]

Both of you are doing it well and look amazing while doing it!

[@saragendron968]

I would love to ask more about her boundaries for technology. We are struggling with this currently with out 15 years old.

[@algonquinwoman1921]

Saaaaaaame!

[@dianequist835]

I remember getting so irritated with my son with his computer usage. I recall numerous times my alarm clock going off in the morning and then hearing his light turn off. Jump to 20 years later. He is a computer forensic specialist. Has an incredible job (high pay wage came along with it), works from home. Has access to his family. List goes on and on. Moral to this story, it is good he became so adept with the tech world early on.

[@chrispicakes6577]

I recommend the book Raising Human Beings by Dr. Greene

[@cjdflkj]

Put porn blockers on and then let em have screen time for gaming and such. It isn't inherently wrong to game.

[@tynktynk9151]

Chores are great. We still talk about out Saturday morning chores and how my Mom would double check our work. We learned skills. With that said, when we got old enough we got jobs and understood the workforce expectation. Chores help build work ethic character. Keep up the good work.

[@renevanzyl7084]

We live in a world where there is this idea that as kids everything should be perfect: clean house, peaceful family life, wholesome foods, educational activities that enrich their lives. However, what happens once these kids grow up and become adults? Life is not perfect and as parents we have to be tough with our kids, while providing a safety net. With God's grace, this be more than what the world will provide. Thoroughly enjoying your podcasts!

[@debmiller9970]

Oh my GOSH! How I loved this, I am way past raising kids, though we are helping raise a granddaughter (4-year old) but this was so raw, honest and true. I want to share it with every parent I know! The references to God's Word, the faith it takes to raising kids being such a focus... I love this and will be subscribing to Abbi's page and sharing her as well as you with many women who need encouraged to live and lead godly lives for their family's sake! thanks Lisa!

[@aandg3479]

Ladies thank you so much for this encouraging cast! God bless your families and ministries abundantly!

[@lindalagarce8996]

As a retired homeschool mom, this is spot on! Great dideo! Hugs and love from Texas!

[@Sssilentlaugh]

Dideo lol

[@kerickson8002]

The first one to a child's heart wins 💜

[@jerisharpe906]

Talk to them as people from the time they are babies, them will them talk to you as they continue to grow. My son is now 40 & we can talk about anything & everything. We have always been very close. He says the thing he admired most about me was that I always talked to him & I did not talk down to him. Some aduts did talk down to him & he hated it.

[@sarahlantto8913]

I needed to see this today!!! AMAZING women!!! Thank you. I want to read this book NOW!!! 😀👏

[@desert_moon]

My teens were great! I miss our homeschooling days with my oldest 8. They're all adults now.

[@kierracompton18]

Thank you both SO MUCH! You are exactly what I’ve been searching for!!! I’m a 24 year old mother of 3, 4 and under.

[@Truthpursuit2015]

Me too!!

[@slowroastedmarshmallow9226]

Inspiring Women!! I am more of an example of "what not to do" at least w my older kids. I have 7, the second born is now almost 21 and has non-verbal autism, he is very docile and now that I got the Waiver program, I am finally GETTING paid to be a SAHM. Yay! It is only w my last child who is 4, that I was really able to ENJOY being a mom. I was too overwhelmed when my older kids were little, homeschooling was off the table. I went through a mental health crisis and was put on psych meds.... that lasted 6 years and wasn't easy, but God got me through to the other side! Due to finding a local group of (much younger!) Moms who are traditional Catholic like me, I now want to try homeschooling the youngest. Embracing Traditional Womanhood is so Counter-Cultural...Rebels WITH a Cause!

[@ashleyjones6888]

Have you heard of Seton Home Study? It's the curriculum that I used for my daughter last year and it was amazing! It's for traditional Catholic families. It's inexpensive and it comes with tons of material!

[@cmconcon]

What is the “Waiver program?”

[@faithcappiello4011]

You are a super star mom!! Im mom of 4, second child is also non verbal autistic boy(7). May our heavenly father continue to give you strength and bless you and your family.

[@alexism1127]

Loved listening to this. I’m not a mom yet, hopefully within the next two years I will be. But in the mean time I am studying up and taking notes from wonderful women like you. I am glad to hear you talk about this today because I recently saw a TikTok that really made me wonder. It was a mom who said “before I had kids I said I would never let them eat processed foods, watch TV, etc.” and then she went on to show that she never followed through and does all of that now. The tone was almost shaming moms who follow through on those commitments they made early on and want the best for their children. And everyone in the comments were chiming in and validating each other that they did the same. I understand that raising a child is no easy feat, and you’re usually sleep deprived. But seeing all these women almost giving up on their values and children so early on was astounding.

[@sophieclinnick95]

So true

[@cjdflkj]

Do you have a biblical view on clean and unclean foods?

[@findilk1753]

God bless all Mothers; especially of many children. 🙏🕊️

[@christinasabo3617]

I LOVE this episode. My 16 year old, homeschooled girl is amazing. I was so afraid of the teen years, but it has been wonderful, seeing her become the woman God made her to be. She has strong convictions of her own now and we can have intellectual conversations. Of course, she has emotional moments now and then and she is learning to manage that and talk through what she needs in those times, but it hasn't been nearly as scary as the world made it sound.

[@517353sbu]

Yesss!! The first conversation I have ever seen on this very topic. All the thoughts I’ve had and I thought I was being completely hard hearted or judgy- which I have been before- but thus is absolutely true!! We should have grace but not give in to the lazy culture!!

[@madisonthehomemaker]

Dynamic duo! Love gaining wisdom!!!

[@ourwholesomehome4967]

I love when you guys talk. You both are so encouraging to me. I really hope the Lord grows me to be like you both in the arena of motherhood!

[@kindnessmatters4068]

I dont have fb and things, never have. Grew up with no tv and i was homeschooled. My mom did wonderful. My brother just graduated from law school and is practicing law now. 3 of us 5 went to college no problem. We all 5 had pleny of friends growing up!! I have the best friends in the world and when we all get to see each other (once a year) there is almost 30 babies/children total running around!! I have never felt like i have missed out!! Im married with just two so far and we plan to raise my children the same! My mom was so scheduled and timely and all us children had to be as well. Every day between school hours and dinner there was always a hour of cleaning! Then my dad got home and we would eat and then our evening was free to be together for the evening. before bed time we had half hour straighten up time! When we all work together quick it all gets done without chaos and stress! Children thrive off of structure. ♡♡ love this chat! So good!! My daughters are 2 and 4yrs old. They love to help! My 4yr old wants to help with dishes, laundry, cooking and hauling wood, making beds, putting the toys away... my 2yr old follows suit too. They're learning and i love seeing their best done! Praising them is so important! i agree!! Love this talk! ♡♡♡ I also feel like if i dont talk to my children then someone will... i didnt get "the talk" and my mom realizes her mistake now but oh how children need to hear it from mom and dad! Its just best. Love the talk about not expecting our children to pe perfect acting when we are not! Direct disobedience is different then imperfect performamce... i appreciate grace extended to me at times!! Im so sorry for such a long comment! But this is all SO GOOD!! thank you Lisa!

[@HazFam]

I just got the book and have been blessed by it. Grateful

[@jessicareed5770]

Time stamp 22:47..the Bible is the standard of truth! Excellent point she makes here. Start when they’re 3 teaching them how the Bible applies to all of life, so when they’re 13 it’s not weird at all. Thank you for stating some truly godly advice. There’s a lot out on KZbin, and as a mom of 5 very young ones, I greatly appreciate this sound advice.

[@marinaeldic544]

Thank u! Mom of 2 needed this 🥰

[@agoodwifeofficial]

You ladies are great inspection for mommies world wide. I'm so glad I found your channel Farmhouse on Boone, KZbin recommended this video woohoo! I've been homeschooling my oldest since school age began he is 10 now, and my youngest is 2 and he's learning at home too. I use to go to work full time before having my second baby it was so difficult juggling it all my hubby was able to bringe home full-time and away from work away from home. I couldn't be happier for that! But as time went on I started feeling that negative mediocre mom feeling for awhile, but I have overcome that and want to share helpful resources with mom's too. I really appreciate this video enjoying it very much!

[@hannahmcmillan5712]

Just a few minutes in, but her content reminds me of Rachel Jankovic's view on anti-fragile parenting as a mother. Viewing parenting through that lens is super helpful!

[@torij1649]

And as for electronics they wont miss out of you keep it to only school based learning. Theyll have friends even as an adult if they dont have fb etc

[@rebeccalindner2349]

Love love love this book❤ It came in on the 1st and I'm already a few characters in. Waiting on a few friends to get there books

[@mbmiller1956]

Excellent. Very well done. So appreciate you both ♥️

[@jesseboursaw5381]

This was such a blessing for me! I have a 6 year old boy and 1 year old girl and often worry about his relationship with me his dad and most importantly his relationship with God as he grows up. This was really encouraging thank you

[@mrsstacyhomemaker3827]

I was very excited to see this video! I really appreciate both of you. Thanks for your encouragement and biblical advice. I love the M is for Mama book too. I’m almost finished with my first read through of it.

[@jlevert]

This is such a great conversation! Thank you for all of the encouragement and motivation. I love the different perspective and now I’m thinking of all the chores my kids can help contribute to our home.

[@kristinbishop6476]

This was wonderful. So encouraging!

[@Blankenshipable]

She reminds me of the school reacher on “When calls the heart.” Elizabeth 😇

[@michellemorris9679]

I totally agree- she really resembles Erin Krakow!

[@MissFayeWhite]

This is so inspiring to me. This video helped me refill my cup. Such inspiration ✨ as a boy mom I found this very helpfull. Thank you for your wisdom.

[@meganwells8423]

My favorite one yet. Thanks ladies. ❤️

[@torij1649]

We get looks and comments all the time bc our kids all under 7 take dogs out, feed them, start snd finish laundry,start and load dishwasher and all the normal home chores. Not hard just make it sound fun and non negotiable! I love the mediocre message. To try and be who we are w kids rather than be the instagram mom and look at me!!& be obwr achiever. So glad we have the info to see we are like eachother butttt be careful to overdo and should keep the ppl loved arnd and be close w them and share more too. And amen to yes its hard and we should share that but not just make children sound blah haha. Love this!

[@jugglinglifewithpurpose]

Amen 🙏🏼 to all this! We implement these same values and boundaries, it’s so important y’all. 🥰 Good job Lisa loved this episode.

[@nadiadima9449]

Thank you for the lovely episode!

[@lilylebowsky5908]

Thank you for this and I agree, the whole its soo messy you just accept it being the worst and most important part of motherhood. When you see the celebrated negativity you wonder why do they go through it in the first place, especially in this day and age. The opposite is also unhelpful, hiding part truth and only show perfection when in reality is different. It’s wonderful to be real but also positive. There is a reason a woman in todays age CHOOSES to have a family children etc ….. I loved this

[@morningstarhomestead]

Thank you. Mom of 7 and I needed this 🥰

[@roxannacochrane9713]

So very good. I raised my, now adult, children very similarly. I homeschooled them too. And it does my heart good to see my adult children being responsible, loving God and raising their families in the ways of the Lord too. It also thrills me to see young ladies like yourself doing what you are doing. May the Lord bless you. Btw: Would you happen to be aware of any resources or have any advice about being more than a mediocre mother-in-law, grandmother and mother to my adult children? Blessings 😊

[@tinaloewen909]

Thank you this was great ❤️❤️❤️

[@rachelmcguire9037]

I loved this episode!!

[@cjrrob7336]

Having kids do chores is 1 of the BEST things to have them do. They are learning life skills & seeing that they are an important part of a team/family. More families should do this & we would have more kids able to make a meal when they go off to college or out on their own. When I went out on my own, @ 18 (over 40 years ago) what I didn't know I went to the library & looked it up in a cookbook. Eventually I saved enough $ & bought my first cookbook. Everything else I must have known or asked along the way. Today my grown sons can take care of themselves completely. I find it pathetic when I see the young people spending half their paycheck on take out food because they don't know any better. SMH STEP UP PARENTS!

[@lindseyberrum]

I needed to hear this.

[@sha-toinaswint2152]

Love this.

[@Rachel-mp6kf]

I needed this 😭😭😭

[@ChristyZilka]

I was only a few minutes in, but I started to think that it feels like when parents of many kids talk about parenting and home life, it's typically about how they balance it all between mothering, homemaking, their partner, work, etc. However, I don't recall ever hearing them talk about finances in terms of affording it all. This can be very personal, so perhaps it's just none of our business how you or others afford so many kids and maybe it's because you homeschool (that saves a lot of money I am sure). I bring this up because it would help me as a mother of only 2, how parents like yourselves or others do it all + afford it all. I will say we are on one income, I am the working parent while my husband is the full-time parent during the day. I know it's obviously possible to have many kids without needing a ton of money, and my income is not bad at all, but at the end of the day, it is expensive to feed all of us, pay our bills, buy things here and there, save for our/their future, and have fun. We live in a small town in Oregon BTW, so we're not in an expensive area. Thank you for all your podcasts and YT videos! I love them even though I am not religious and I am not a homemaker like you :) I just love it all anyhow.

[@Simplefarmhouselife]

www.farmhouseonboone.com/masterclass-registration I linked to my free masterclass where I talk about our journey...I also have other blog posts and videos about how we paid off our first house etc. We were also a one income family and I can only share my personal journey...

[@ChristyZilka]

@@Simplefarmhouselife Thank you!

[@fabiolaarauz4439]

I have a 12 year old and we struggle with technology, my other kids are fine with it. I guess from all the parenting books and podcasts I have heard I have deduced that there is reason for everyone's madness. I can see some form of good parenting in every case, even in my junky friend who cannot keep a job, I see how hard she is truly trying and how she loves her child and wants to instill important morals in her. I can even see good parenting in the parents who barely see their kids because they are busy at work. There is no certain type of parenting that works for me or that I try to emulate, instead, I do conscious parenting and I do what my moral standard allows and what my anxiety allows. I am a stay at home mom and I give it 110% everyday just like most parents, no parent is better than the other for the most part.

[@Rjpck5000]

Kids being contributors is true in the family, but also in the body of Christ. Their role is bigger within the family unit, but so is ours. I think it is really important for children to know that they have a role and place to contribute.

[@loub1733]

I am on the other side of all of this and found the conversation interesting, I now have grandkids. I raised 2 boys and am a proud mum as I see them as parents and husbands. Adolescents can have it challenges like any stage but I enjoyed it immensely more than babyhood. They are developing their views on life, they know your buttons and push them and if one has a sense of humour this is the source of an adult like relationship . I have good relationships with them now , I dont have girls but I think that our approach to boys as mums and dads is unfairly sexist and we have assumptions and fears that get in the way of things. Stand tall and enjoy those years, be around and learn about sideways hugs, sneaky ways of keeping the affection there but not in an overwhelming way. Enjoy your growing kids they are really interesting.

[@jeniedwards5999]

I think you got the link wrong to Abbie's KZbin - it takes me to a French crochet channel?

[@lakitastory8000]

I couldn't find it either. Wrong when you click on it. If searched M is for mama, nothing pulls up, or wrong things pull up.

[@amymclin1759]

Does Abby have a KZbin channel? When clicking on the link you provided, it leads to a croquet channel.

[@lilylebowsky5908]

And you touched on my absolute nightmare TEEN scenario; Yes not all teens need to be angry parent hating aliens….. thank you again

[@enimei2856]

Wunderful! Greetings from Germany! :) ...mom of soon 6!

[@andreacoughlin2736]

I think the KZbin link is incorrect. It redirects to a crochet channel 😅

[@ourfriendfinn]

Does anyone know Abbie's KZbin channel link? The one pinned above seems to be a crocheting channel. Thank you!

[@stephaniec1522]

She is on Instagram, misformama. Don't believe she has a youtube

[@rosealtman648]

I’m pretty sure your talking about Sarah Therese haha

[@HeatherB81]

Hi there! The link you provide for her channel leads to a different channel… does she have an active one? Thanks!

[@amberobrien6140]

The comment about teens rebelling reminded me of a “Little Women” quote: “Very likely some Mrs Grundy will observe, "I don't believe it, boys will be boys, young men must sow their wild oats, and women must not expect miracles." I dare say you don't, Mrs. Grundy, but it's true nevertheless. Women work a good many miracles, and I have a persuasion that they may perform even that of raising the standard of manhood by refusing to echo such sayings.” Now who works the miracles may not merely be “women” but a mother who is submitted to the Lord and submits the raising of her children to Him.. may find that we need not circulate such sayings as the one mentioned by Mrs. Grundy.

[@maryb6147]

ITS RELATABLE BECAUSE WE ALL DO IT, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT A GOOD THING !! SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE TIKTOKERS IN THE BACK !!!

[@candyhr4152]

What about caffeine? Bet she drinks alot!

[@juliettescheidecker2910]

Holà comment tu te

[@jamesdean1989]

Is she wearing ears?