Getting married soon? Marriage is a wild concept - An opinion

Hey Chiderians, welcome back! So good to have you here. Today’s video is simply an insight into my thought process regarding marriage.
This video was voted for on my Instagram story, so if you don’t follow me @thechiderapeters I think you should so you can always let me know what you’ll like me to shoot
I’m cringing as I upload this video because I don’t know what your reaction to be. Will you like it? Will you not? PLEASE drop a comment, I’ll like to know your thoughts
Also, if you feel I should stick to what I know which is education related content, please let me know 😂 I won’t take it personal.
But for real though, I honestly feel the concept of marriage is wild. It’s based on assumptions and uncertainties and for my overthinking mind, that’s A LOT of risk to take
I’m in the comments with a bowl of popcorn🍿 , come at me😂. I’ll take it
For Inquiries
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[@coletteezenyeaka3333]

First 🥇 here!!!

[@ChideraPeters]

Yay!!! 🥁🥁🥁

[@ijeomai3746]

The fact that you are “scared of marriage” says you are smart!! I got married years ago when I was 25. I remember being scared and sounding just like you instead of being excited etc!! like my friends. Fast forward to today, married blissfully happy for 27 years I believe that that was because I was afraid and understood the challenges . I grew up in the UK though so perhaps that was why . I know living in Nigeria is different. Please don’t ask what a 50 something year old woman is doing listening to you. You remind me of me. Best!!

[@bridgetbridget8358]

Absolutely Ijeoma! Don't ask us what we're doing watching your channel 😁 she definitely reminds me of me at that age as well 💕💕

[@ChideraPeters]

Awwwnnn thanks for sharing your experience and no I won’t ask what you’re doing listening to me 🤫🤐 All I can say is thanks for being here 🤗♥️♥️

[@chukukerenneoma9681]

I watch all Chidera's videos

[@TegaUkonga]

I think the bad marriages are just very loud 😕, so many people are very happily married 😊, we just done hear their happiness.

[@VondaBoo]

AMEN!!!!🙏🏽💜😌

[@bridgetbridget8358]

I've been married for almost 19 years now dear and I think its beautiful. Whilst I completely understand the points you've made, my advise will be that you don't overthink it, but take it one step at a time. That 'rich' aunty has her own down and lonely moments too. Its not easy, but a happy marriage is possible and doable, you just need to have the mindset that you want to make it work. I can go on and on but this is perhaps not the forum for it. But just know that it's beautiful, doable and possible. Trust me being single is not easy as well. Happy to speak to you one to one if you want my perspective xx

[@tutublossom8545]

Lol, always pray for your marriage. I just got married and I used to be sooo scared. Too many bad marriages around but I prayed way ahead of who I was going to marry and by Gods grace, it’s bliss. He is literally my person and my Christianity has even grown by the reason of marriage. So just pray, out with the fear and pray. God that sees the end from the beginning, will make it perfect.

[@Doreenomosele-TMA]

Perfect response Tutu!

[@AnnieyyBold]

I affirm

[@chineyennamani6253]

AMEN IJN AMEN

[@favouraffi424]

Beautiful. Thanks for this. I'll put it into practice asap.

[@FabioTheGreat]

You are christian, you were groomed for that! That’s why you deal with it better than non religion people.

[@TomiDaniels]

Change is constant and so is God. And that’s why we should let God lead us to our spouse, because He knows tomorrow. He knows what the person will become tomorrow and what you’ll become tomorrow as well. Having said that, just because God leads you to someone doesn’t mean that there will be no challenges, but you know that because God led you to it, He will lead you through it as long as you let Him. By the grace of God, I’m very happily married.

[@chisomsingz6142]

Lol... Chidera, I can totally relate. I went through this phase too but so far, I can say I've never felt more blessed. It can be a lot of work as you have to put someone before yourself but if you have a husband who does same or at least is really trying, it make it all worth it. Children are blessings and trust me when you become a mum, you'll literally develop some sort of super power. 'Mum brain', they call it. You need to stop worrying about things you have no control over and asking questions you have no answers to. Marriage is basically like dating except you can't 'up and leave' as you like but that shouldn't make you scared, it should make you try to fix problems rather than run away from them. You should practice that while still dating your partner. As for having your space, you can work around that in marriage too. Nothing stop you and your partner from creating personal time and space for yourselves. Everybody needs that to be productive. You simply just need to be married to a man who treats people right, loves you with the love of Corinthian's 13 and keeps trying to understand you better and you need to be all of this too. You can't go wrong with true love.

[@missroxiie631]

Omg, same here girl🤦🏾‍♀️ I'm also an overthinker and constantly think about these things. I'm turning 27 soon, and I don't see myself getting married anytime soon.

[@nikajames2040]

I got married to my high school sweetheart when I was 21, I'm currently 28. We're literally best friends so it's amazing. Once there's that genuine connection, you understand each other (when to give each other space and how to react to disagreements). We haven't started having children as yet because we wanted to spend as much time together (traveling etc.). From day one we've been pressured to have children (so annoying) but we knew we weren't ready. We're planning on extending our family soon tho.

[@johnsonajayi7846]

Please don't let no one pressure you to having children, although, after 5 years of marriage, it is time to start making a family. This is my own idea, do what makes you happy. Children are expensive to maintain.

[@MyAkachi]

@@johnsonajayi7846 How ironic. You just said don't let no one pressure you into having children - and proceeded to do just that. There's no specific time to start making a family. 6 months, 5 years, 10 years, really not your choice or circumstance. (I'm not attacking you by the way - just pointing out the irony of your comment)

[@kreniecewiseman4306]

Loved this! I share the same sentiments. I am focused on myself and achieving my goals and i'm single (by choice). Being 'Caribbean' we have the same pressure from our mothers especially to get married and have kids (I am 28). It is not my main focus right now and idk what the future holds for me in that regard. As women i think that we are expected to date a man and WAIT on them to be ready for marriage (emotionally and financially) but when the tables are turned and the woman is not ready for that step and the man has to wait, it is frowned and looked down upon. What if i want to wait until i achieve some goals first and achieve some sort of financial stability before i decide that i want to get married? Its the double standard i cant take. We must automatically be ready to put everything on pause if the man is ready to get married because marriage is the 'ultimate goal'. While it can be argued that marriage does not have to interfere with you achieving your goals, there are just some things i would like to achieve on my own before taking that step. I am loving this phase that I am in right now.

[@faraday1178]

If you want to have children, why not do so in your 20s when you are in your best physical condition? Men do not have those issues to worry about until our 70s. Getting married also doesn't stop you and your partner from pursuing your careers. My older sister married at 26 and waited till 29 to have her first child after graduating from med school. Her husband was perfectly fine with that decision, after all, it's her body. There are no double standards, it's just that men and women are different in biology, hence different sets of rules apply.

[@v.sophia2167]

I feel same

[@Jenniferawurum]

I do get how you feel

[@engr.princessivie8428]

Marriage scares me too, just don’t want to end up with the wrong person, cos I never want to be divorced. But in all; I’m praying to God for that man that will understand all my fear & I his and we will both help build each other up, that love that will last the test of time🙏🏻

[@Goldengirl7156]

Nne I know what you mean, I have been married for just 5 months now and I must say those who said it's different from dating were right, it work o. My aunty said you have a long way to go, try to balance. our foods are different, but I have managed to keep a balance and my husband helps too. He helps with house chores, even when it comes to space, we respect each other's space. It wasn't too easy at the beginning but we have talked about everything and till talk anything that comes up. Issues will always come up, but am taking out one day at a time. The good thing is, we are both friends so there are days its not lovey dovey but its friendship like my G kind of thing. Lastly God help me and gave me what I prayed for. I have turned down 2 marriage proposal before because I felt and knew in my heart that "this isn't it"

[@mrsranciz]

You have thought so deep about this and it's cute...lol! It's good to think deep about these things especially before walking down the aisle

[@pathwayuk]

Hahaha, the rich Auntie idea seems fun, 😂😅😆 I understand your concerns, just try not to overthink marriage.

[@priscilliaadomayi2631]

I can totally relate to the part when you told your mom about your relationship and she was like is that all?? Had a conversation with my mum two days ago about an ex she wants me to get back with and I told her all the reasons why I don't want to get back with him. And she was laughing at me like is that it. She even wanted to start telling me story of her and my dad. I just told her nope that her own time is different. Imagine this guy ask me out after 7 years and doesn't even make effort to communicate and we don't live in the same country. This is someone I haven't been communicating with in 7 years after our break up. I told her nope it won't work. I completely agree with you. I will not accept the narrative that all men cheat and my guy will cheat on me. Others can but I won't. If I don't then why should you. 👍😎❤

[@oMAJIK216]

I think until you come to terms with your fears do not do it. I have been married for 12 years now and honestly it’s huge work. There are good and bad moments. Our society pressurises people into marriage but people are sometimes not ready to do the work. Would you dive into a river if you don’t know how to swim? Would you go into an exam when you ain’t properly prepared? But there are good and balanced books that can help you to prepare yourself and also keep improving cos no one graduates from the school of marriage until death. Lastly, I think communication is very important in most relationship , not just marriage. Even in career and friendship.

[@luciakelly4576]

I totally agree with you.

[@divinepeters260]

My biggest fear in marriage is the “change” ... I know people will say if you love them no matter the change you'll be able to adapt 😳 that's a big lie e get change wey dey no dey adapt to.. But I guess in the end it's God that will help us because no matter the love you profess to have nothing is truly certain..

[@princessokorie9986]

And marriage is literal stress .even if you marry the love of your life.. Kia..I just hope I get past this feeling soon.

[@delighteze5980]

Please 🙏🥺 expanciate.

[@efe3881]

I used to think exactly like this. Truly marriage is hard!!! People need to be real and let others know what they're getting into. *But* what I've learnt from many happily married couples that It's all worth it. All the benefits and good stuff should outweigh the sacrifices and pain when marriage is done right. (Emphasis on when marriage is done right)

[@Ellasfam1]

No hurry in life to be honest African parents need to cool down.. with all this ginger for me am married and I was not really in a rush and after my wedding we move to uk and some people thought he was my bf because my husband don't were his ring and I don't too in marriage don't kill your self. I go out with friends he babysit 🧑‍🍼 and he sometimes goes to clubs I babysit we all share everything equally just don't stress ... and be happy 😃

[@funmio4892]

😂 I laughed alot watching this video, its not really secret that I love you alot Chidera, and one of the things that drew me to you , your channel, and every every is how honest and bold you are about the things you say and I realy respect that. So back to the marriage matter, I am glad you have done your research well and realised how much work and commitment goes into being married, and trust me all those things you described, it's all of it and more, but here is the catch it's not an impossible venture it can be beautiful if you allow God lead you(cliche right?) But that is the truth, it's about loving what you know and trusting God with what you don't know, tell me about faith 😆🤣 that is why the person has to be someone that has a good relationship with God if you know what I mean, so I have been on this journey for almost 10 years and I kid you not it's been God all the way, yes there have been challenges like every other thing you do in life, but there are also victories, I can go on and on, but long story short, count the cost, trust God, and marry your friend. And yes I agree with you not everybody will get married, and it is absolutely ok to not want to get married.

[@fatimasuleimanatane5466]

I was like you, I questioned everything. I was angry about everything. I didn't want to get married. I pushed people who had intentions to marry me, I couldn't. My mind was messed up. I wondered why women suffered the most but I didn't get answers until when I took those complains to God. I nagged to him, cried to him, questioned alot but in the midst of it came clarity, purpose, hope and trust. Only one person would hear you out, God! Try this, I promise you an amazing result.

[@studentsofrevival]

You’re so interesting to watch Dera.. ❤️..but there are always two sides to a coin.. the good side being a sweet & blissful institution by a Good God for His Creation.. and the other side which seem wild as you say because of what we might have seen , read or heard.. which is as a result of the humanity of men(both male and female) . Marriage is beautiful.. it’s glorious .. It’s not for the selfish and lazy ones. Just as we don’t kill ourselves today bcos of tomorrow’s uncertainties.. you can’t run from marriage bcos of fear of the future unknown. changes.. What if the best happens???

[@Mibiafolabi]

Marriage is work. Period! And you can never be fully ready for it, you just have be ready to make it work ALWAYS.

[@omobolanlejacob384]

I think the same way I’m 21 never had a boyfriend and don’t see myself having any soon . I’m already too comfortable being single and tbh I feel this anxiety meeting someone. I just want to have someone I can always talk to but ain’t sure if I have that capability of being a good girlfriend. Lol I can’t even seem to picture myself getting married or being a mum. I hope one day I able to get the love I give to people and become comfortable in setting down but right now a lady is all about securing the bag and making connections. Lord help me **sorry for any grammatical error, ain’t putting on my glasses **😅

[@johnsonajayi7846]

Please don't worry, the Almighty God has someone for everyone, just be patient. He is working the best for you. Don't rush to get a boyfriend, just pray for one that will help you achieve your purpose in life. Go to church and worship the Lord, your going to church is not to get a boyfriend, it is to honor your maker and put him first in your life. Mathew 6:vs 33 says seek He first the Kingdom of God and all its righteousness and all other things will be added unto. Proverbs 37 vs 2 or 3 says Delight thyself in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Happy new week.

[@maryoyewole3713]

@@johnsonajayi7846 hello Sir

[@abrahambiz2353]

@@johnsonajayi7846 "I can't even picture myself getting married or being a mum". Sir the above statement by @Maryam Alonge, is quite clear. It has nothing to do with religion.. You can't pray for someone to find someone to married when that person (she) has clearly stated that she doesn't want it.... We kinda 'religionize ' issues a lot which eventually makes our judgement more sentimental than Logical.

[@johnsonajayi7846]

@@abrahambiz2353 : Everyone live their life the way they want and let me tell you based on what an accomplished woman said when she was being send off for retirement, her only regret was that she devoted too much time to her career and now that she had retired, she really regretted not having children and that she is now a lonely person. She was advising all the ladies present at that gathering to take time for family and that there is happiness in it.

[@abrahambiz2353]

@@johnsonajayi7846 I perfectly support what the lady in your story said and that is why I corrected your initiation of a prayer for @maryam Alonge....to find someone at first. Reasons being that she first needs to accept and be convinced and start picturing herself getting married or having kids for that prayer to work.....

[@olamidefaleye1138]

Lol just going back to watch your videos and now you are married 🤣 Congratulations dear🎉❤️

[@rofiatakinpelu3584]

This was me some years back. I promise you it's not as difficult as they say. I have had tougher relationships and it had given me that crazy opinion about marriage too but dear, I am glad I made the decision to get married. It's been super amazing and when you feel like you want your space, all I need to do is tell my hubby( of course in a nice way) and he lets me have that space.

[@singistsarah6689]

Chidera said “his brain off” that got me laughing! There are certainly good marriages and yes change is constant. Marriage is a beautiful thing....

[@emmanuelc.chijioke9575]

I feel somehow watching Chidera sounds like this. Well let me just say this. There’s a difference between someone not yet ready to get married for any reason whatsoever and someone not liking the idea of marriage. I think she falls in the later category. Chi the truth is if you really feel this way then you shouldn’t get married but before taking that decision you need to find the trigger for these emotions. Why do I feel this way? What past experiences have I got that made me this way? Which couples did I see that turned out bad? Stuff like that, you have to be really sure cos what will be really crazy is looking in the mirror 20/30 or 40yrs from now filled with regret. I think you haven’t met someone you really love, that’s just the truth you haven’t. Cos when you’re in love those sacrifices and compromise comes naturally,. You’ll see it’s not something you “have” to do, it’s not like a responsibility or requirement it just flows, you just see yourself doing them all of a sudden. So my dear be sure about what you really what, if it’s marriage don’t rush into it take your time, be open minded, don’t start a relationship with the purpose of getting married just go with the flow, love will definitely find you. But if it’s really to be single then that’s great cos you’ll be living your best life also. To be honest I do have my fears about marriage but they aren’t about making sacrifices or compromise or “dying to oneself” my biggest fear of marriage is getting married to someone who feels the way you do. I’m sorry but for real I’m not throwing shades, I’ve always felt this way that’s why I had to comment. It’s really scary giving up everything for someone who won’t do same for you, lying next to someone who doesn’t want you there, loving someone with everything, pooling your resources, making plans about your future and they’re just like mhennn, having a partner that’d rather confined in others than her husband or hide how she really feels it’s heartbreaking. Enyway sha God dey PS: I neva mari o 😂😂

[@mystic3291]

We all felt this way in our 20s. Don't worry you will be fine

[@luciakelly4576]

This is such a wonderful write up

[@FabioTheGreat]

The same applies with family. We also get tired of our siblings and our parents. That’s why we ask for our own room when we reach our teens, then we try to move out and live on our own in our 20s.

[@Jenniferawurum]

I can relate to everything you have said. The concept of marriage is a very weird one. You mean I don’t get to have my parents handle things for me anymore? I get to live with someone else? I don’t know if it’s worth it, people say it is. I wouldn’t know because I’m not in it. Just like a relationship requires a lot of hard and commitment, marriage requires more of it and a whole lot of forgiveness.

[@oyewunmiaderinsola5673]

This was so good to watch, your fears are valid but we can only hope for the best. The cheating part you spoke about was 👌🏽, men should be put on the same pedestal as women in being faithful and loyal in relationships, accountability should be demanded! I also think bad marriages are so pronounced and singles wonder if we still have marriages that work, we honestly still do. Can we make it a habit to share experiences on good marriages 😍 but las las God factor is crucial, May God help us all, He is the only one who knows the end from the beginning.

[@alphaeducationconsultingco4064]

I think one should marry because we as humans need someone as a emotional support who we know is going to be with us forever. Your parents and siblings, they won’t be there with you forever. One cannot deny this bitter truth about life. Parents will not be there by the time you get old. Siblings would get married and they’ll have their own life and responsibilities. Not that their love for you would decrease but their children will need them much more than you. Your friends will get married and again might not have time for you. When you are young, you might not feel that much about it since you are busy with friends, career and that new found independence. But with time as you get stable in life, friends become busier and you age, you might start feeling lonely. After a point of time, you would want someone who you can talk to anytime, someone who you can ask anything, someone you can share everything, someone with whom you can be totally you without any inhibition. Hence, unless and until you are sure that you don't want to or are emotionally very strong, I would definitely suggest you to get married. Its a beautiful feeling. Feel that love, feel those emotions. Why would one not want that? Only thing is marry when you are sure that you want to and to that particular person Note 1: I copied this from quora website as an answer given by Chanchal Gupta to a question’’ why do we marry’’ Note 2: There is no age to marry, just marry when you are ready whether at 20’s or 60’s its all fine.

[@ejeefe4816]

The piece is powerful

[@efetoboreoghara2808]

At 25, Chidera is just too young to be frustrated about getting married when she has not tasted one. Madam, you have said it all. I sensed she is experiencing a heart break from a failed relationship and she is making a mistake to quickly jump to the social media space to conclude. She emphasised on waking up everyday to see a man by her bedside. She should know that Most successful men do not spend every single day with their wives in the house because of their tight schedule.

[@Musos-wq1ud]

You see this is the thing.. I feel we as Nigerians miss the whole purpose.. The same with kids.. "Oh have kids so they can look after you when you are old" There was an old Nigerian man who lived opposite my flat.. He lived on his own, I would usually try to help. One day helping him with his shopping on our way back he was telling me he was divorced and had 8 kids..none of them ever came by NONE.. A year later, I hadn't seen him for a few weeks only to be told he died alone in his flat..

[@efetoboreoghara2808]

@@Musos-wq1ud That man must be a wicked and selfish father to his family. One who never cared for his family.

[@ejeefe4816]

@@Musos-wq1ud Marriage is a choice not a must. It seems really strange sharing your space with another person for the rest of your life... It needs a whole lots of adjustments.

[@kasumikat]

lately a lot of my childhood friends from my church are getting married and they are around 20-24 years old. Meanwhile here I am at age 24 still with no boyfriend and working on my career. though tbh most of my general friends around my age are mainly just with their partners of 5+ years, most of them don't have kids and they aren't married. my first ex got married when he was 20 and once he did get married his relationship became abusive, he only stayed for the ex wife's kid (he didn't want him to grow up in a broken family)

[@Ugo_Ego]

I think a foundation of any good marrage is a good friendship because you won't always be physically attracted to the person but you will always love a good friend (even good friendships can fail but its a start). I think another important thing is marrying someone you know is a really good person.. Because many of the issues you've mentioned won't happen if you're married to a good and sensitive human being. I don't think these things I've mentioned automatically mean everything will be rosey but I believe with them, the journey would be worth it. I believe everything in life is a risk..(even choosing not to marry) But if you find someone that meets these qualities then the risk might be worth taking. I have a good feeling that the single rich aunty life won't be as interesting in real life as it seems in theory (for most people atleast).

[@delighteze5980]

Hmm... interesting. But believe it or not, not all will get married. ( Of their own intension)

[@cyncyn4803]

I must say you are quite insightful! The fact that you are able to think of all these things at 25 prior to marriage is very perceptive of you. I am 19yrs in my marriage and I look back at my 25yrs version and I laugh!! Never really taught of all the points you raised and I can simply tell you that all points you raised are very valid, very true. And yes will cause some degree of pain in the course of most marriages. Marriage is indeed very hard work, don’t be deceived by people who find it hard to say it like it is and feel the need to paint it all rosy! For you I think it’s an advantage to you that you already thinking of all possible obstacles/issues in marriage cause at least you can better prepare as well as be very wise/informed when choosing to settle with someone.

[@ChideraPeters]

Thank you so much for this. Makes me feel better ♥️

[@TemiTeeO]

Hi Chidera. I’d have written more but some others have already done justice to my points. Been happily married for 9yrs +, will be 10 years in October. I’d say the benefits are way more than the downside if you’re married to your friend🤗🤗…

[@esameclara2882]

My dear chidera marriage is not a thing for the young . Young interms of mental . .marriage needs alot of critical thinking and preparedness so no need to rush, marriage is not a prison once u find the right one u will definitely want to see that person all day on your bed beside u. Just take ur time and geared your energy of finding the right one or changing the one u have to be the right one. Always think positive in martiage no negative thoughts , child bearing is a great experience . Love conqures all negativity. Pray you find the one.

[@walkntour]

I must say your fears and thoughts are valid, but I feel you're letting ideologies and others experiences define your ideal view about marriage. Hey, marriage is beautiful with the right person but you have to definitely let a part of you die when you say"I DO". It is a consice decision to compromise for the better part of you to be reborn. That's why our parents endured it all to be able to smile later and tell the story. Life is in phases, be part of it all and don't skip any

[@uchimepearl3391]

Same thought honestly.... About the childbirth thing, I feel she'll make a great mom but "she has to born it"😁

[@walkntour]

@@uchimepearl3391 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ehiedummoye7242]

Yeah, marriage is beautiful. Its normal to be scared though, but if u find the right partner, why not?

[@sharonomotayo3438]

And I also think that's why friendship is very important, because they day we are exhusted from being a wife or Husband, I still see you as my friend and I still want to be able to tell you everything, then after "resting or relaxing" we resume the back again.. but together.. not looking for someone else, that together.

[@peebrown1179]

First of all Chidera, this is an amazing video. I’m sure a lot of people relate. Because I do. Marriage being a wild concept, hell yes!! I think it is! I wonder what if I get tired too. What if they change?? Why do we even have to, who made it compulsory?? I have to wake up to same person?? What if I crave something new?? And the cheating thing!!🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ It’s crazy really. God help us!

[@kaza-shim]

I prefer to be a Chiderian than a Uarian, thanks for the natinality😂😂😂

[@ChideraPeters]

BIG hugs for you 🤗♥️♥️

[@rommellr.martin9743]

Marriage is all about communication, it is continued work, its understanding and most importantly you and your partner needs to know and understand your personal love language. When you know his and he knows yours that unlocks a new level of understanding. You literally need to communicate about everything, even the smallest irrelevant information is important to communicate about so your partner understands where your head space is so they don't accidentally push a button unknowingly. You have to know when/if you are ready, if you are never ready then that is fine, times change you don't HAVE do what traditions state we should do. When/if you ever find that person you'll know

[@VondaBoo]

It's not for the weak and you must be willing to grow. See things in yourself and make changes to be the best version of yourself. It's for sure the greatest relationship for growth. It's not for everyone.

[@nessahdark]

I think it doesn’t matter it being a good marriage or a bad one. They all have problems init. TBH I feel same like you sis especially when we look at our own parents and you see there’s a lot that comes to being married.

[@abiolakazeem6841]

Hello Chidera. To be fair, I relate with you even as a guy. I feel Marriage is a beautiful thing. The thought of one person always being there for you. Always listening and in the process making your life better. But also, the yoruba people would say “marriage is a dark market”. That part scares me. Like you said, change is constant. I’ve loved and fallen out of love. Doesn’t mean the person wasn’t good to me. It’s just scary to be honest. The best thing is just to ask for God’s plan. I also feel that the narrative that all men cheat is not true. I have never cheated on my woman and I don’t ever pray to. I really put myself up there when it comes to infidelity cuz I expect the same from my woman. I make it difficult for myself to cheat.

[@ChideraPeters]

First, thanks for holding yourself to a standard of loyalty. Also what you said about God’s plan is so true. It’s so nice to see your comment Abiola! Been a minute and hope the UK has been good to you😁

[@ajlawty1586]

i can totally relate, for me I cant deal with human deceit, the change and even child bearing. I decided to take a raincheck!

[@anthonyedem4318]

You sound exactly like my girlfriend! Lmao 😂😂 I'll send her this video. PS: I feel like you're thinking way too much about it. You can't have everything figured out from the start.

[@ChideraPeters]

My regards to her!😂

[@j.ashineabove1274]

Put your mind on POSITIVITY MINDSET. This will chase away all the double mind or negative thoughts or questions that arises within the mind. Always believe in God and remind yourself that you are a child of God. So your case is different for good and your marriage will be counted among the successful one. Never forget that it is God who do life for us and not we. As for the child bearing is amazing blessings from God with alots of wonderful experience that can't be explained. For your marriage you must never throw away your good looking. Always keep yourself young with good healthy food and exercise and presentable at all times. It is you who control any changes and changes does not control you. God bless you brilliant daughter of Zion.

[@GforG1]

Chidera! You will be surprised how you will never get tired of the person you married, you will just be praying so you don't have to be seeking for his attention. In terms of finances you will be surprised that you will be the person who will what joint account, invest-doing things together esp build house cos you would want ur family and children to balance well in the near future. As for child birth all comes naturally and you will feel the blessing of it. Don't overthink my dear. Marriage bu ngwugwu ekechiri ekechi ke I toyetara I nwere. Wishing nothing but the best. Think of good and happiness that comes with marriage.

[@adaoraamobi5874]

You sound like me when I was 25....lol....you go dey alright

[@ChideraPeters]

Amen o 😂

[@olufemiibitoye37]

Changes dont just happen...... God pls give me grace to make wise choices each day of my life.

[@favouraffi424]

These are real topics people should know about and consider before they marry. Finance, conflict, sex. Very very important. One of the things I'm learning is that its a constant conscious daily effort. You have to wake up then make a decision to love selflessly. For the cheating, e reach to ask my dear sister. I reject the narrative IJN... amen.

[@JoeBooks]

very bubbly personality with great candor. Really interesting topics too. I'm so subscribing and ringing the notifications bell

[@abrahambiz2353]

Marriage brings out who we truly are.....when we are single we are not challenged in certain areas of life....because at every point we hold the bread and the Knife.... We can easily create an alternate reality contrary to who we truly are. Thus, marriage test our all round Tolerance level, Patience, Strength (Psychological, Emotional and sometimes Physical ).... Marriage pressures you to live for others (your spouse, kids, family & the community) thus marriage test our level of selflessness. ... It requires the Highest Level of COMMITMENT Marriage is Beautiful....but remember fix yourself before getting into it....

[@sharonomotayo3438]

I think alot like this too but most people think it's bad to want "my space".. I don't think there is nothing wrong in giving your partner space when they feel overwhelmed. Just saying sha

[@olyviajazzmyne7633]

I know the bad marriages are the ones who speak! But there are happy marriages!!! My Marriage has been nothing but bliss! Nothing in life constant whether u marry or not u will not be spared from disappointments with partners! Better to marry than burn!

[@silverfox6018]

My dear marriage is overrated. Take ur time. Follow ur dreams first. Yes society will put a lot of pressure on u, particularly on women. If u don't think u are ready, u are not. Tell those putting pressure on u to channel their energy somewhere else.

[@AestheticallyCookie]

Not me coming here after seeing your engagement video 😅

[@sharonike3339]

Marriage can be enjoyed if prayfully planned before entering into the union. I will say I am enjoying mine. First time mom of twins, half of the time, my hubby baths the babies and house chores. I prayed for all of these and more. Tell yourself, you shall enjoy your marriage. It is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. I married almost 11 years after uni. graduation. The wait was not funny but I am happy I did God's will.

[@ManlikeGabe]

I think there are so many good stories out there perfect stories! Marriages for 30/40years there are a lot they just don’t loud it people who have the bad stories want to tell people so they can find people to be in the same boat.

[@mobolajialbertfemi-dero9993]

The video tag, got me hooked

[@ogeym9316]

Bruh I’m legit 24 and I look forward to having pets and plants because 😭😭phew! I just want my room to myself and I love my space most times.

[@CK-bk9es]

Valid concerns. Wife/husband titles come with lots of responsibilities real and imagined. Most fulfilling marriages are founded on friendship and partnership.

[@Doreenomosele-TMA]

And I just saw this video after leaving the video of you blushing with booboo Jay😀😂 Marriage is beautiful (The way God designed it) The concept of marriage is God's...Without marriage there won't be family for instance...I get your concerns girl...I had worse but I gave God the chance to renew my mind and he brought Godly people who modeled marriage the way it ought to be! I saw it and I loved it and i desired it and thank God I have it now...You will too...Love you and am so proud of you!

[@RealAkintolaEsther]

So excited TMA is on this comment section

[@Doreenomosele-TMA]

@@RealAkintolaEsther awwwwww... big hugs

[@MakeMoneyOnline-AI-ChatGPT]

it's ok to be scarred, but you have to take the courage to fall in love, brave is taking action is the midst of fear, that is what makes us humans. other family children will think about their parents before they remember you, no matter how you spend on them

[@olufunkearowolo5363]

Chidera... I'm married with two kids.. I will be 28 soon....this is my fourth year in marriage.. currently doing my masters here in the UK.. Marriage is very stressful and sweet at the same time.... Also there will be some trying moment In the marriage....what I learn so far is to put God first n follow strictly biblical teachings... Irrespective of society teachings or what made sense....marraige will test your faith, it will humble you... I learnt how to forgive even when I was deeply hurt..it isn't easy....Courtship is entirely different from marriage becos new characters will surely spring out during d marriage....Thats y u just av to pray for u to choose right.....although having kids is stressful o... But u will want to av dem...there is dis joy u can't explain when u c ur babies...

[@iyanu5602]

Honestly, it feels like throwing myself away. Not only do I have a looooot to do in the coming years, you see that space, I LOVE my space. I hate inconvenience abeg. 😂

[@estherdaitey1701]

I am exactly like you. Marriage is like a voyage. You just have to go. Whatever happens, happens.

[@chisomchukwudolue9774]

You’re shinning ☺️

[@BrandonAirihenbuwa]

Everything you mentioned is true. You have to love them the way they receive love if your love language is the opposite then it can get hard because certain things don't come naturally to you but you do it because of love. For me, the hope is that both parties grow together so that in 3,5,7 years you don't say you are not the person I married. It's long sha, very long

[@iyanu5602]

"What if I don't want the man to be there, what happens?" Very valid question o. 😂

[@lookbook89]

Beautiful topic! But its not a force and as for trusting people just know changes it’s constant in everyone’s life… I feel you my dear….. Much love. From Uk

[@splendore.ngrandeur3599]

You aren't over thinking it u have legit concerns it's ALOT I felt that I like it 😅 it's something that is expected of women and yes a man has needs 😅 they wont even deny it people like to feel alive we want to experinece the magical moments of life with little effort. We all like new things despite appreciating the old. It's a sad realization

[@princessokorie9986]

See @Chidera Peters You must read my comment o ..please..u just spoke my mind..what happens if I get tired in marriage..like literally waking up everyday to see the same man on my bed..won't it be boring..jeez... Nothing nobody will tell now o. Can't we just marry for 2years and get another partner the next year.. I actually thought I was thinking this way cause am still young..but I can't believe we share the exact same thought... Mehn

[@ChideraPeters]

Lol! Comment seen😂 I’m sitting here with popcorn reading all comments. I feel you

[@gambriehewert1677]

SMH!

[@benitaadusei5800]

Marriage is a beautiful thing. GOD did not create man to be alone. Love is not a feeling but a CHOICE. So you need FRIENDSHIP to keep the marriage cos you’ll definitely be tired of him. But the same way you’ll still talk to your best friend even when she annoys you and you’re tired of her, that’s the same way you’ll do when you’re friends with your husband. I used to desire to be single forever but its not the best. For how long will I go on vacations with friends. For how long will my busy schedule keep me busy. You can choose to be “the rich aunty” but have you thought of how you’re going to deal with your sexual desires? Or would you be dating men and breaking up with them when you’re tired? Or you would be a single mum to a baby boy? What if he grows up and loves another woman when you’ve given him all the love he needed? Then you start fighting your in-law coz you feel she’s going to take your son away from you. You start going crazy coz you know you’re going to be alone. Nothing good comes easy. Don’t be afraid...PRAY!!

[@selleyfosu828]

hey Chidera. you are not alone.lol

[@ounyiezoe7]

Chidera nwannem....I can relate with your line of thought..

[@winari8829]

Guys marriage isn't that complicated. I discuss that on my channel. When you pick the right person it's not that difficult. Lastly you discuss your fears in the dating phase and your do's and don'ts. Then tolerate the one you can.

[@Merline_Holland]

Marriage should be a choice but African parents don’t understand.....(like you said I am in UK so my perspective is different)

[@adamasimolowo8285]

my mama is always talking about my "future" wife and I'm only 22.. anytime she discusses it I just dey laugh. what if I don't want to/do not get married nko.. what will happen now. lmao. god will help me sha.

[@shevivasworld9299]

I won’t be surprised if I see “got married to my best friend in 11 months time “ Naso na una Dey mislead then get married sooner than those you have advice 😅

[@Elldrop1]

Damn this is the Chidera I remember in person 😂

[@ChideraPeters]

Go away 😂

[@mogimoroka8390]

And just like that, you're my favourite KZbinr. I'm also very skeptical when it comes to marriage and all of that. Like I'm not very keen to spend my life with someone because I also believe and know that people change. I've been in relationships where the person was good to me in the talking stages and in the beginning of everything but as time went on, they changed. Also, the whole idea of having to fulfill a man's desire and allowing him to have sex with you when he demands it really doesn't sit well with me. I want to be independent and I want to have full control over my body. Having sex with a man just because he wants it even when you don't is tantamount to sexual coercion in my opinion.

[@curvel7746]

Ur videos are funny. U remind me of myself🇹🇹🇹🇹. Viewing from Trinidad

[@Victoria-nf1ji]

HI Chidera, our idiosyncrasies are alike. My husband will tell me i think too much lol. He often says i just met the right man; cos most men wont be able to cope with my reactions. sometimes i just wanna be aloneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hahahahaha. Nne it's a making up of the mind something o. With God though you can do all things. Remember it's not good for man to be alone; doesnt mean you can be single though. But you are damn gorgeous and deserve some love biko. Marriage is awesome, even singlehood can be stressful too. With the Holy Spirit and the right mindset you are completely good.

[@steward0018]

Sometimes our perception about life determines our reality, if you see marriage as a difficult thing then it would be difficult, though am not married, I do have this school of thought of yours too but my peace about this worries has always been dependent on my relationship with jesus, I will tell you the truth dear, marriage becomes beautiful when you find the right person for you..And not just looking for the right person, you yourself work on you to be right for whoever finds you too..Trust me, marriage is a beautiful thing...it's not a crime to be single though

[@ighoogieva]

Wahali u just Dey talk my mind 😫😂 ...

[@rukkydoreen8970]

We are just alike.. I like u already.. u're on point with these realistic questions.

[@deborahajibade373]

Hey chidera, in many ways we are soooo alike🤣🤣🤣

[@sowdika]

Ok, my friend who was born in Nigeria told me that when a woman moved to abroad from Nigeria it becames harder for her to get married even after she returns back to Nigeria..is this because men are intimidated by her exposure to the western life or are they worried that she knows too much and cannot be controlled. By the way I am also a Nigeria but grow up here in the uk, could you do a video discussing this topic please?

[@holaplenty3718]

Even myself as a guy I'm scared of getting married because if she changed at me or if she can't follow up with my way of life. 🧐🤔

[@chinasaokwumike1266]

Nne eeh..... this marriage issue don i tire oooo ..........

[@hopeonwuegbuchulam1186]

Marriage is not like that. Just have faith and go into it. You will enjoy marriage

[@BrandonAirihenbuwa]

lol yours is good, 25, wait for 29/30, I am getting engagement news, plus wedding day pictures and babies

[@chisomchukwudolue9774]

Should we tell her 🤣😂🥲 she never see anything lol 😆

[@aderonkebabalola991]

@@efetoboreoghara2808 rest in Jesus name 🙄🙄🙄

[@BrandonAirihenbuwa]

@@efetoboreoghara2808 I don't know where you drew that conclusion from. First of all she is in no way blocking anything. Secondly she's sharing her opinions and a lot of questions people actually face and struggle with. So yeah don't come with that engery

[@Ellasfam1]

Is only in Africa someone will be divorce and be hiding it if marriage doesn't work out no need hiding it my sister move on you can always find better love ❤️ if you meet better man marriage good but if you are unlucky u will be sad for the rest of your life you better leave in peace ✌️

[@nickytrenny8947]

Omo aunty leave those that wants to marry to marry. If you choose to be lonely or not married that’s totally up to you and very subjective. Don’t change the narrative of marriage cause it defeats the purpose, especially for those that wants to experience it.

[@ChideraPeters]

Lol how am I changing the narrative?

[@iyanu5602]

Companionship seems nice sha but I'm still enjoying myself biko.

[@m.tshimanga7403]

"Did his brain go OFF!?" Ask them sister 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🇿🇦❤

[@ChideraPeters]

Heheheh thank you

[@anjolaoluwaleigh686]

The braids look so good on you💛

[@deborahilo6792]

I was about to say that too

[@ChideraPeters]

Thank you both 🥰♥️♥️