Getting my affairs in order: My Cancer Journey Vlog #21 November 2022

Let's talk about a will, durable power of attorney, health care proxy and HIPAA. When faced with my ovarian cancer diagnosis, I needed to get my affairs in order and consider final arrangements to bring me peace of mind. One of the first things that I did was to update my estate plan, followed by a series of other financial moves. My experience as a probate litigator, who saw what happens when individual's plans are not discussed and communicated with the family, I ensured that everyone knew the details of my plan and what they would receive. It is a gift to your family to ensure that your affairs are in order and you communicate your preferences, so there is no question of intent.
#cancer
#estateplanning
#ovariancancer

[@myheartisinjapan3184]

Thank you for this in depth information, Maria. I’m praying you make it. You are one special lady. I never met you in person, but I think you are really amazing. Such a brilliant, personable, honest lady.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you so much. I’m banking on being around for a while. One day at a time!

[@kristimartinez7528]

This is so smart. My husband's stepmother had a very unexpected fall in a parking lot, and didn't recover from her injuries. Unfortunately, she didn't have a will or anything planned out. Two years later..her four kids and husband are still fighting over everything.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

I’m so sorry to hear that- it is something I wanted to do everything to avoid!

[@kristimartinez7528]

@@MyCancerJourneyMaria Very smart! Much love Maria 💕💪🤗

[@alisalavine1052]

You have made me think about things that I always assumed I was too young to think about. Somehow I turned 54 and that means I'm older than I realize. While my children, 30 and 33, know what I want generally, it's time to get it down on paper. Thank you, for talking about something that rarely gets talked about. And I'm going to believe with everything I have that you will be one that beats the statistics.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Definitely get it down on paper. So much easier for your children!

[@indigomoon777]

I am a vile older than you with 30 & 33. I don’t want them to clean up messes. Just grieve me and go on with their lives. I learned a lot from my daughter who was married to a Marine. Every time he deployed, his affairs had to be in order.

[@jessicasteiner7298]

You are one smart lady to think of all these things normal people wouldn't think of

[@dawnlovescouture2644]

This is important information for anyone to have in any situation. Thank you for making people aware of what to do and why it’s important.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

You’re welcome- it makes such a big difference!

[@BidenOwesMeGasMoney]

I hope someone is taking care of your pup. Rip Maria

[@bettyconnearney7943]

Well said! My husband passed, and i was lost because I knew nothing! I never paid bills, took care of home maintenance, insurance, vehicle's. Registration, oil changes, bills sent to bank etc....needless to say, there was no will estate or anything else. If not fot a friend of mine i dont know what i would have done. Thank you for such an intelligent talk about Beneficiaries , . Estates etc...I just found your site while scrolling and will keep you in my prayers🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@judywatkins9605]

Good morning. I wanted to thank you for the wealth of informative information you shared today. I've been doing alot of thinking about the need for me to do just what you've shared. I will be praying for you and your family as you go through this journey. God bless you.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you so much. I have seen how once loving families can break apart when plans aren’t in place and discussed. It truly is a gift!

[@judywatkins9605]

@@MyCancerJourneyMaria I experienced this when my father passed. He had a living will,power of attorney but still came across problems with family members that I never expected. Once again thank you for sharing. God bless.

[@ntandosekay]

RIP beautiful lady ❤ Thank you for this post🌹

[@callmepr117]

Absolutely, we put in place a trust in addition to a will during our cancer journey. This topic is so important and thank you for tackling it.

[@LorySuzanna]

It is so important to be prepared and communicate with family. Thank you for that reminder! Hope you are getting some energy back - sending love to you. 🤍

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Each day is different but I hope to be able to walk a little today.

[@emilyme05]

You are so special. You are making a difference in so many lives, you’ll never know it. I’m a financial planner and I respect so much what you do and often team up with estate attorney’s with my work. It’s very complicated, but I tell all my clients especially those that are older or not great health wise, to please update beneficiaries to someone who deserves your hard earned assets. Unfortunately, so many people think they’re supposed to name children when their children are rotten and self entitled. I’m stunned someone hasn’t come after me yet. 😂 You health and wellness is important to me and I will put you on my prayer list. If you’re a believer, please know this life is not meant to be forever. It’s just a stepping stone. Lots of love.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you so much for your kind words Emily!

[@irenedonohue1406]

Maria you are an incredible human being, thank you for important information, you really are a special person!praying for you through your journey

[@kimtongo3533]

Thanks for sharing you journey!!!! Enjoyed the video!!! Look forward to your next video!!!

[@morganprecious51]

Amen to the important information, people need to do and need to know, thank God I got mines in order. praying 🙏

[@rachelbee7921]

You're so interesting and impressive, Maria. May God Bless and place his healing hands upon you. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you so much for your prayers ❤️

[@Moopotsmum]

Very informative Maria, thank you 😊. Sending love from the UK x

[@ximenagarzia]

Hi! Your dog is beautiful!! 😍 And your information so good, Brave person!

[@karenboouk531]

Hello lovely lady thank you no one wants to talk about this stuff and it is very important that people need to do. You never know when it's your time was really useful information love and hugs to you from the UK xxxxxx 🇬🇧🌹💞💕

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you so much! You’re so right!

[@OGGuy-xb1yk]

She was so sharp and intelligent. Very good to her family, awesome soul. ❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@mo-anniemc8227]

Wise advice,Maria.

[@morganprecious51]

I'm happy you are talking about this real people need to know this information.

[@finnwiggles28]

This was an Amazing video. Thank you SO much for sharing this. I've been recently diagnosed w/a rare, aggressive Sarcoma that is not responding to treatment thus far. I'm meeting w/my Lawyer Feb 15th to address all of what you've spoken about, (praying I last to that appt.) I know just having it all resolved will give me such peace of mind & I can focus on living the time I have left.

[@leaveittolefty]

thank you, friend! what a gift you have given us all here as you wait to get back to your work after you recover. a great way to use your skills for the greater good 💐

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

I appreciate the feedback, thank you!

[@jennyg4148]

Very helpful, thank you!!!! Continued prayers 🙏

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you!

[@joannpergakis4183]

Thank you for sharing this Hope it works out that your family doesn't need to use this for many years I first seen your first veido and I said to myself She is well spoken Smart Lol you are I knew it

[@meredithleigh9196]

Thank you for this! Great information!

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

You’re welcome!

[@explaincauseidontgetit3294]

You are incredible! And this all is great advice! I agree with you!

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you!

[@kathystevens8163]

Praying for your complete healing.. 🙏🙏. Thank you for sharing this important information.. ⚘️

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

You are welcome. Thank you for your prayers!

[@safaridreamer5831]

Thanks for the update…prayers that you will recover!! 🙏❤️🤗👍

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you- it’s just going to take some time and a lot of challenges, but I’m planning on beating the odds!

[@serenadm6619]

I totally agree, it is so Important to make everything as easy as possible :) great video

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you!

[@tatumpiano8569]

Very interesting and important video. I never thought about this stuff until my diagnosis. It's natural to want to brush it aside. You did the responsible and caring thing for both your family and yourself as this, as you said, will give you peace of mind. I hope you are feeling OK and that your number continues to go down. Love you lots, hugs from NY!

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Hoping for good news on my numbers at the end of the week! 🤞🏻

[@gwynethgrove772]

A very Frank and useful roundup, I’m sure it will give you some peace of mind. You’re awesome too.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you 😊

[@barbarameehan113]

Great info Maria. So much to think of. Thank you. Now I know why you speak so beautifully.❤

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you

[@MeMe-eb8pe]

I’m praying for you

[@wandadavis2468]

Such a hard reality that we all need to prepare for ourselves and our loved ones❤

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

It’s true - whether or not you have a serious medical issue.

[@gillsimpson4976]

Wow. What an amazing and informative video. God bless you. Xx

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

I’m happy you enjoyed it!

[@travelgirl7967]

Thank you for this info. It's even tougher for those without close family.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Absolutely. It’s amazing how entitled distant family members are to a decedent’s estate, as compared to the individuals who have supported a decedent for years through friendship and otherwise.

[@stephaniejohns6716]

Thank you so much for how you explained this. I’m going to be looking for an attorney after the first of the year. I love your pup, he is so darn precious! You’re in my prayers for complete healing.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

I’m so happy it was helpful to you. Thank you for your kind words.

[@michelleedwards7370]

Maria, you are a delight. Thank you for sharing your expertise with us. I am going through breast cancer treatments at the present time, and am trying to wrap my brain around this entire financial/estate process. I live in Virginia, but I don’t think the laws are much different here as in Massachusetts. Thank you for opening this dialogue for those of us facing the same challenge. God bless and keep you!♥️

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

I’m so sorry to hear that you are fighting this beast too. I wish you the best with your treatment and its success.

[@nationalduo4945]

Praying for you ✝

[@cindys6683]

Continuing to pray for you. If positive attitude is healing, you will beat this. Thank you for the information. Really, everyone should get their affairs in order. Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. My husband and I have been working on this. It is definitely a work in progress. Trying to decide who should be the administrator is the most challenging decision for us, and is why we haven't finalized our estate plans.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

So true - tomorrow is not guaranteed and everyone can benefit. My diagnosis just forced me to update the plan and make those decisions quickly.

[@DMHCre8]

This is a very mature, pragmatic, and caring approach to planning for what I hope is a very distant reality for you (that is, you live to a ripe old age). I think it's hard to face something so scary head-on like this, but the peace you said you feel would make it worth it. Love and prayers, Maria. You're in my thoughts. 🙏💙

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you so much for your prayers and support!

[@margaretries2606]

All the best with your health. We also put our affairs in order. It gives you a settled feeling.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

It absolutely does! Now I can focus on my treatment, knowing everything is in place!

[@Croppermom17]

Thank you for sharing this information. With your knowledge, you could’ve easily slipped into “legalese”; I appreciate that you instead made it easy for us to understand in more layman terms: I was taking notes! I will continue to follow your journey, and wish you all the best!

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you so much!

[@c.c.6930]

Dear Maria, I wish you courage and send you affection and warm wishes to get better.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💞💞❤

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you very much!

[@janicehight9160]

Hey Maria. Great information on estate planning. I am a lawyer too living in Vancouver BC. I meant to reply to your post about coping with having to put your career on hold while undergoing treatment. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2019 and was able to work part time throughout my treatment but decided to retire in the spring of 2021. I am cancer free and doing well but knowing that my cancer can always come back I decided to give up working and start enjoying full retirement with my husband. I’ve been a lawyer for 35 years. Time to do something new. Sounds like you started out as a lawyer later in life so maybe you aren’t done yet. I’m sure your partners will keep your clients happy til you can get back to work. But think about how you want to spend your time when you are well again. I was so happy just to wake up and not feel sick. Enjoy the taste of coffee and food. You will get there. You have such a positive attitude. Sending so much love and support your way from a fellow lawyer and cancer survivor.

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Good advice- thank you counsel!

[@jaydenp4975]

Just found your channel in my recommended. I know of three families right now that are fighting over money and property that belonged to relatives they didn’t know or had not seen since they were children and met a couple of times. Elderly folks who weren’t married and passed and had no living trust or will. All of a sudden distant relatives come crawling out and haggling over what is theirs. It is sad.

[@maryb6418]

Hi Maria! Good advice. And anyone can get hit by a car. Prayers, love, and hugs Mary

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Absolutely - Whether faced with the diagnosis or not, it is so important to have an estate plan. Especially if you have young children.

[@betsydooner6422]

❤️🙏

[@melilly8447]

I am so soo sooo angry! I just found out for this channel and this beautiful woman I watched first video of her , and when I saw that she was persistent with the doctors that somethings wrong and they keep saying everything’s fine… and watched the last video… just sadness and anger. That is what I’m feeling…

[@marysaunders1770]

Still here rooting for you ❤ 💙

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Thank you Mary!

[@parler8698]

❤🎉❤🎉

[@deusvult2302]

Dear, I commeted once, that I am praying my rosary for you, as I survived a stage IV NHL! What makes me even more understanding of what you are going through with your cancer, as many years before, I suffered from Dysplasia III at 31 newly divorced (I was a protestant then) I was told my cervix should be removed after 3 successless cryo surgeries and the finding of now cancerous cells. As an M.S.R.N I was good friends with many doctors I worked with. Before they carted me off to surgery I told my trusted doctor friend who promised to stand in surgery with my OB/GYN to take out my ovaries if there was any doubt that what they might find could have spread to my ovaries. I woke up without my ovaries. I am a P.A now, survived a stage IV NHL and my gynecologist this day told me, that it surely saved my life back then, that they took out those ovaries as the lymphatic cancers (which an NHL is) are likely to cast metastases into ovaries. I will continue to pray for you...don't EVER give up no matter how bad of day/weeks!

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Congratulations on your recovery!

[@deborahwhitt4363]

Thinking about you Maria and noticing it’s been 6 days since you were on last. Just know I’m praying for you and hope your doing well. 🙏🏻😘

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

It has been a very busy week. I’ll be posting a new video hopefully today (or tomorrow) with all my updates. There are many!

[@karasimon6766]

Also, FYI in your health insurance policy there may be a provision for continued care after death for loved ones. Meaning, your insurance may cover grief counseling and other services for loved ones after your death. It’s a little known fact, but may be a good thing to take advantage of if it’s there.

[@patsyanne8095]

Thank you Maria, I so needed this information. I am single now, without children, gotta get a plan in order…I will, right after the holidays! Be well, you have the absolute right attitude.. are managing your pain?

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Excellent! Pain management is always a challenge and I am looking forward to my palliative care appointment this week to continue to work on a plan!

[@jovivi6512]

Hello 👋 I would like to thank you for sharing your journey with us. My mother in law has a long history of alcoholism and denial. Which unfortunately leads to incurable pancreatic cancer 11 month ago 😔She is in a strong denial, since the beginning of her diagnosis. It is very very hard and stressful for my husband because we don't know nothing, plus she lives abroad. It will be a total stranger who will tell him what she wanted when she will passed away. We do not know if she want to be buried or cremated. It is things that should not be discuss in someone last moment. As a mother my self, it is something I can't comprehend. Greetings from belgium 🇧🇪 ❤️

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. Pancreatic cancer is so devastating. Hopefully she begins to open up to your husband more and makes the necessary arrangements. Greetings from the US!

[@jovivi6512]

@@MyCancerJourneyMaria thank you very much ❤️❤️

[@olivier-pierredebelmont.3630]

I will dye alone in a bungalow south of Cambodia,not married,no wife past,no kids,and all of my possessions will be for the ones who take care of me,they will take what they prefer,and my only "asset" is a 3 years old scooter that I give to my best friend here. Life and death are a lot more simpler in my country of residence! (Especially that at am broke at the 3/4 of the month!) Everybody are coming nude,everybody are going nude.... Its looking at this video that I realise the burden to have possessions and big families. Now,I hope you will survive this bad event in your life,of course!

[@siannevautour8659]

I have no money or assets so I don't have to worry about it 😊

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Even in that case, some people may still consider executing a will. It would allow an individual who has minor children to designate who they would want to serve as guardian of their minor children in the event of his or her death.

[@michelles9897]

🤍

[@Sushi2735]

Thank you Maria for this valuable information. I believe we all should have our affairs in order, just in case. One thing you pointed out, I have not done, but will take care of it now. You didn’t mention how your week went? But you look good, so I’m hoping you are well. 💗

[@MyCancerJourneyMaria]

Each day is different but I didn’t have chemo this week, so I’ve started to feel better…until my next infusion!

[@Sushi2735]

@@MyCancerJourneyMaria I know, you have a few good days and it’s back in the chair. I also did Carbo/Taxol. My Dr called it “Hard” chemo. And boy was it! Thinking of you and sending positive healing thoughts your way!