Gilmore Girls Gets Therapized: Paris' Big Relationship Challenge!

[@Ashguy733]

As a guy I had a previous relationship where an ex was in dental school while we were dating and she was very focused, but as time went on I saw she was skirting around her schoolwork and even almost skipping an exam, and I had to set her aside and tell her - "I am here to make your life easier, not to sacrifice your dreams. If you focus on your schoolwork and need that time, it doesn't hurt me and you won't lose me because you want to focus on your future. Please study."

[@MariaPerez-fy5xk]

Well you sound like a fucking amazing boyfriend and human

[@Ashguy733]

​@@MariaPerez-fy5xk I don't think so, but at the time I was living in her country and didn't really have any dreams of my own, I worked constriction jobs and labour while learning Spanish so it was easy for me to say this, I wanted to support her because I attached my worth/happiness to her success and happiness. I actually was pretty codependent in this relationship which was why it didn't work out as time went on, but I didn't want her to sacrifice her dream, just cause we were having a good time at that time. Relationships are fickle and school is expensive and time consuming, I didn't want her to lose sight of her dreams because we were together.

[@OzmaOfOzz]

Why are you her ex then...?

[@polianalins5087]

​@@OzmaOfOzzprobably because life happens... People drive away from each other

[@Ashguy733]

​@@OzmaOfOzz I actually explained that in this comment thread, I was pretty codependent at that time in my life.

[@IdrilSilmarien]

I think in that last scene you can see it’s not only about Jamie (although her saying “I never thought I’d hear a boy tell me he loved me” speaks volumes about how she perceives herself) but also about the warm family atmosphere (which is something Paris has never experienced with her own parents) which is so enchanting for her. I’m not totally convinced that she is losing herself. Because while she does seem to be losing her incessant drive to achieve perfection is that who she is? Or is it perhaps mostly the only way she feels she can ever make herself have worth?

[@meinkanta]

I had the same thought - is it *who she is* or is it *how she copes?*

[@ilovenycsomuch]

Jon needs to see these comments!

[@mitchkinsella4247]

I can't wait for you to cover Jamie and Paris again once Paris is in college. That's a whole very interesting can of worms 😬

[@MendedLight]

Haha, you are right! There is a lot to unpack there! 💜

[@trinaq]

Liza Weil screen tested for Rory, but didn't get the role, so the producers created the character of Paris, since they liked Liza so much. Despite being in her early 20s when she started playing Paris, she really embodied the driven young woman archetype well. I identified with her more than with Rory by the end.

[@aleezak.3497]

I literally can’t imagine Gilmore Girls without Paris.

[@MaricaAmbrosius]

Paris is like an honorary Gilmore girl.

[@xEllieRose]

These gilmore girl episodes are never long enough, I absolutely love them. Have a good monday everyone!

[@jdp486]

Not losing herself at all. This is simply Paris learning how to adapt to having a life outside of academic pursuits/getting into college. I see this relationship as almost all positive for Paris.

[@karenwapinski4822]

I feel like one of the real strengths of the show was introducing characters to you in a certain way and letting you grow to love them slowly. When you meet Paris, you just want to slap her in her smug face, and by this point you're rooting so hard for her to get everything perfect with the paper and get back with the guy she liked. We get that again with Jess, with Lorelai's parents, it's just such a sweet show

[@ChildOfDarkDefiance]

I'm repeating what a lot of people have already said, but i just don't see Paris "losing herself." Paris is still Paris, she still values the same things, she's just relaxing the pressure & widening her scope. I would say this relationship was good for her both short term & long term. She learned to see a value in herself outside of competitive academia. I don't just mean, she felt attractive (though that was probably nice too), another person saw her, necrosis & all & still liked her. I thing that helped her like herself more too.

[@ChildOfDarkDefiance]

Actually, weird as her relationship with Flemming was, & despite the terrible way it started (poor Jamie), I think that one was really good for her too. She healed a little of that neglected child trauma by having an older person who loved & cherished her. And being with someone she looked up to, let her loosen the reigns a little. Then with Doyle she was with someone who could match her weird, self-consciousness gone. She could be the leader in the relationship (a natural role for her) & he could keep up.

[@serenity4eva89]

I love Madeline. She's always just in her own little world (made it almost impossible for her to get caught up in Paris' shenanigans... unlike Louise) 🥰

[@MendedLight]

Madeline is definitely a favorite character in the show. 💜

[@emilybrinegar7011]

While we were dating, I was finishing college and my husband told me he wouldn't come over if my homework wasn't done. Also, my favorite part of Paris and Rory's friendship is the witty banter between them.

[@tiffanypersaud3518]

❤❤❤

[@LifewithAlelee]

I live with my boyfriend, and I’m still in school, he does this same thing. He is Chinese American, so he likes to joke that he is Asian parenting me lolol it’s hilarious, and I’m so grateful he is so supportive and he has the view that my education and helping me pay for it is an investment in our future and our future kids. Seriously so grateful. I’m glad others have that kind of support. My momma did the same for my dad when we went back to college at 32 when he lost his job. It was amazing to watch. My dad is blind and he also broke both of his wrists getting by hit by a car on his bike coming home, and my mom wrote all his homework, calculus included, for months. It was amazing.

[@Alexandra-lf9wu]

I'm not sure I agree that Paris was losing herself, I mean she still told Rory excitedly how she theologically debated somebodys grandfather, I think you could think of it more as Paris having a short break from all the stress that is being Paris 😅

[@ambernicole2340]

That was my thought too! Like.... There's still quite a bit of Paris there if that's why she's excited to go back for Easter. Not like she's worried about debating his Grandpa over his religious beliefs lol

[@aleezak.3497]

Good episode! There’s a lot more of this yet to come in GG. I think Rory loses her identity with her boyfriends (and just in general) way more than Paris does. I’m looking forward to your take on Logan.

[@Cupid_Gamer]

Day 2 of asking for a video of Lane and Dave PLEASEE

[@rachaelknudsen8801]

Yes, please!

[@SaucyJTD]

I love wingman Rory! Their enemy to friends friendship is one of my favorites, and I'm so glad that Jono addressed that in this episode. I would have swooned just Paris did when he told her that he's been thinking of her. It's frustrating to feel like you're alone in your feelings. To know they're actually being returned is an amazing feeling. But, yes, Paris is losing herself in the moment. I totally understand her. I, too, have succumbed to Cute Boy Brain Rot in the past. I can also honestly relate to her on not thinking that she would ever attract someone. Hell, I've been a whole ass adult now for some time, and I still feel surprised when someone says they're attracted to me lol. I'm much better about having a work-life balance now, thank goodness. I won't lie, it takes a lot of practice and correction to keep on track. It helps that my besties know the signs and will metaphorically beat sense into me 🤣. Great video, Jono!

[@MaryHartwick]

Paris' first relationship really starts to round her out as a person. She was so high strung before and after she begins seriously dating she allows more into her life than just school. And I think that is healthy, especially since it never negatively affects her grades or her school activities. Student council is still good, the school paper is still getting published, and tests and homework are still passing all A's.

[@denii7094]

can't wait for the commentary about Paris' Harvard acceptance melt down.. my heart broke for her during that scene and also it was veeery dramatic

[@Kaimeretic]

My day always gets better when I see that there’s a new Gilmore Girls video. I know I’ve seen each episode at least 20 times. I really appreciate each and every one of these

[@allein1001]

The GG series is why I subscribed.

[@MendedLight]

That is so kind of you! Thank you for watching. 💜 What is your favorite episode?

[@MendedLight]

Glad you are here! 💜

[@gabbyaboutbooks]

Young love... or maybe lust and infatuation... is such a whirl wind experience. Its lucky people have these videos explaining healthy balance with love because most of us had to deal with the consequences 😂

[@kira-v1y9b]

Love this episode, thanks for giving Paris more light, she’s such a lovely character. Ps. could you place regular old direct links for other vids? Current links take me out of the youtube app with no means to open the linked video in the app in less than 5 minutes of active effort, extremely inconvenient

[@siniquezu]

I'm still waiting on the Lane Kim video

[@evilgenius4213]

I'm curious to see how Paris/Asher is covered here.

[@tricuspa]

Again the whole slice-of-life that GG provides of a different class of folks is fascinating, and curiously very close to how it goes. It is wonderful when Paris finds she can be liked/loved and always the balance between that and her intellectual pursuits.

[@jessicapinto3817]

Ohhhh, 100% agree. I've tried the "changing myself for the relationship" bit and every time the insecurities would take over during (self fullfilling prophecy) and after (the endless ruminating and questions) the relationship. Especially after: "what did I wrong", "how could I have been better", the 100 "I shouldn't have done/said that", exhausting. While if you are true to yourself and the relationship ends, these questions don't come up because you did all you could and you know it. And instead of letting the insecurites consume the brain during that relationship, your brain is free to enjoy the actual relationship, resulting in the "happy you had love" philosophy.

[@tamirahgrant5981]

I've never thought about it but i agree with the comments I don't think Paris has lost herself, I just think she is becoming more accepting of others opinions and needs and less hell bent of constantly being in control and yeah she is still the same person someone who prioritises education and someone who is still a lil particular and quick witted but less anxiety filled which can only be a plus , Jamie made her a more well rounded person

[@carleephillips5749]

I agree, I think she does loose herself in it becaise she dissociates from her reality until she can be with Jamie again. I think Jamie is probably the only person that Paris has been around that gives her no judgment, respects and loves her as who and where she is. They can also have highly intellegent conversations together like Paris and Rory can have. Paris is finally safe with someone at school and someone outside of school so I'm glad she does have this moment of loosing herself. She deserves to feel safe all the time, if only for a small stretch, for once in her life.

[@babak-k6t]

Best video ever.

[@ElizabethYuen-rx9xo]

Can you take a look at the show called Girls? It has a lot of good relationship insights.

[@daykibaran9668]

4:20 at this moment it was so cute, I just thought in this moment what she later will do to Jamie….

[@MaluCLBS]

Yeah, I still don’t know why they thought that subplot was okay back then.

[@katzablot599]

While I think your message is important, I disagree that Paris is losing herself. What’s nice about her relationship is that she found someone who likes her the way she is - she doesn’t have to change for him. Her resulting happiness is what it looks like when that happens. It’s nice to see her unclench for a little bit. As first boyfriends go, Jaime was a good one.

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

Paris is the definition of C-PTSD (shame)

[@moniw89]

I agree with what you said in general as good advice to not lose yourself. But I don't think these clips are showing Paris doing that. School is still important to her, she still is incredibly active in school activities, she's just allowing herself to put more of a balance in her life than she had before. She had been overly strict and demanding of things likesmaking everyone do extra meetings that weren't actually necessary. So her being ok with them not doing one of the extra meetings she had been enforcing before always seemed healthy to me.

[@ilovenycsomuch]

(Spoilers) Their relationship was perfect & beautiful & darling… it enraged me that they had her cheat on him & drop him for some stupid professor with absolutely 0 remorse. I don’t believe Paris would ever do that or ever desire that. I will never understand why the writer’s decided to do that & it made her character irredeemable

[@Redrally]

echo echo Echo?

[@TinaSalamander]

Yes, I think your mic wasn't working in this video. Your movie man partner would be appalled.

[@ThatForestFreak]

The second Jamie actually refuses to let go of her hand, I immediately knew he was garbage. If you think it was romantic or "playful," I feel bad for you. When someone tells you to stop touching them, STOP TOUCHING THEM.

[@TimberlakeTigerGirl]

I think you are overthinking it. By not letting go, he got his feelings out to her and it made Paris realize someone, a guy, actually wants to be with her. She needed to hear it and wouldn't of if he let go.

[@ThatForestFreak]

@@TimberlakeTigerGirl That, to me, sounds like an incel's justification for ignoring bodily autonomy and consent... but that's just me.

[@TimberlakeTigerGirl]

@StrangePhoton I'm a woman so you can't pull that card on me. Again, Paris needed to hear what he had to say. It's not like he groped her.

[@ThatForestFreak]

I didn't say you're an incel (and even if I had, women can be incels too). I said that sounds like the justification an incel would make... and many HAVE said those same words to justify physical contact that was expressly unwanted. If you're comfortable having your personal boundaries ignored, that's on you. Not many people are. If you want to get the last word, that's fine. I don't need it.

[@TimberlakeTigerGirl]

@StrangePhoton I think you've got some issues