Girl Within The Ghost (Anorexia Nervosa) | ElysianSoul

Girl Within The Ghost is a track from my album Dark Descent. I initially had the idea for this song based on a lyric from Sticks And Stones And Bones - 'the lights are on, but no-one's home'. This song depicts the feeling of being trapped inside your own mind and body with your eating disorder, until you become a shadow of your former self. Please bear in mind, I created this song in 2017 when I still wrote from the female perspective, which I have long since stopped doing in my music to be gender inclusive.
Album Artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography
Instagram: @elysiansoulmusic
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PLEASE NOTE: With my music, I aim to reflect the hidden inner struggles of psychological disorders by externalising the internal. Please use caution if you feel you are easily provoked, and please always take care of yourself.
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Music Links:
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◆ SoundCloud: / elysiansoul
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Lyrics:
Torn and broken on the inside,
Fragile and frozen on the outside,
No longer seeing the plus side,
Of starving myself to death.
Have you any idea, just how much pain,
I'm always in, to stay this way,
Maybe not now, but one day,
I'll have the courage to speak.
Locked inside my skin and bones,
I'm the girl within the ghost.
Can't you see I'm frozen?
Can't you see I'm broken?
What fine phantasms make up your frame?
The space between your thighs and your shoulder blades,
When my clavicles are heaving up and down they'll say,
I'm starving myself to death.
The sunken cheekbones I hide behind,
Were always there, I just had to try,
To restrict my intake for real this time,
I know she's there, somewhere inside.
Locked inside my skin and bones,
I'm the girl within the ghost.
Can't you see I'm frozen?
Can't you see I'm broken?
Fading away, into the unreal,
Where nothing tastes better than thin feels.
Who I am, nobody knows,
'Cause I'm the girl, within the ghost.
Fading away, into the unreal,
Where nothing tastes better than thin feels.
Who I am, nobody knows,
'Cause I'm the girl, within the ghost.
Locked inside my skin and bones,
Haunted by my monstrous host,
Who I am, nobody knows,
I'm the girl that Ana chose.
Locked inside my skin and bones,
I'm the girl within the ghost.
Can't you see I'm frozen?
Can't you see I'm broken?
Locked inside my skin and bones,
I'm the girl that Ana chose.
Try to pretend,
Recover again,
Can't see the end.

[@Kewi_1221]

*I'm the girl that ana chose* That hit different

[@thecyanidewedrank3468]

“I’m the girl that Ana chose...” dang

[@lonelygirl1032]

TeenagersScarTheLivingCrapOutOfMe -mcr chose not close

[@tryingtovibe2875]

I like your username

[@thecyanidewedrank3468]

Lonely Girl oh yeah damn. Thanks 😊

[@thecyanidewedrank3468]

I D o n t K n o w - u w u tank youuuu 🖤🖤

[@tryingtovibe2875]

KILLJOYS, MAKE SOME NOISE!! Aww u don’t have to thank me!

[@havennott7384]

"Ana refers to someone with anorexia nervosa, commonly used amongst sub-culture of individuals who maintain that having an eating disorder is a lifestyle choice, not an illness that requires treatment." I didnt know this, I never really payed attention to this song, but I wanted to hear it one day, and I happened to listen closely, I've never been so "hypnotized" by a song, a Subject so dark and a hard to talk about subject to some people, put into a beautiful, catchy, eye opening song, I love this song.

[@maelyschessaye6830]

​@@kaaz1010 Yeah, it's tamed bc people are leading each other to death in those forums. You know, being sick, ill, unable to fight this alone, searching for attention, help, people who relate, that's so understandable. But pulling others into your own abyss, no ED excuses this. One day they won't answer you anymore on the Internet. They'll never answer again. And you will be guilty for being at least partly reason for their death. NO MATTER how much YOU are struggling- you should never be the reason why others should walk through the same hell you might go through. If you want to have someone online to talk about all those things sticking in your mind - please feel free to open up ❤ But don't pull others into this. No pro ana forums.

[@ash_luciel]

Another one so soon? You’re spoiling us! This is so good

[@lexlixatkwa7nelson3]

Still love her music so much

[@rubyf3007]

One of first Ana songs I listened to... i felt someone understood how I felt. When landed in hospital all my friends knew my prob. Couldn't relate to perfect weight 88 when I was 83lbs and wanted to be less

[@lyseae]

(TW : Numbers.) "Have you any idea of how much pain I'm always in to stay this way ?" When I was at my """"normal"""" weight, the pain was way more in my head. But now that I'm down below 95lbs again, with a BMI below 17 again, Im starting to remember the physical pain it was. Bones and stomach that always hurt. Cannot sit without being in pain, bruises all over my body. Im a ghost. Let me fade away into the unreal, forget myself and everything. I have relapsed so badly.

[@yosui9876]

My BMI was under 15 and it was awful! I was weak all the time and my parents were only mad at me. But to be honest nobody really cared about it with was really good for me because I could starving in peace. I hope we won't do it again. We can be stronger

[@lyseae]

@@yosui9876 I wished I could come with something positive but.. I'm less than one KG away from being under a BMI of 16.. and yes, I'm so weak all the time and my body started again to have so many bruises I don't even where they come from. Stay safe you ♥

[@yosui9876]

@@lyseae Please don't... Don't let her destroy you. I want to keep you away from her because I'm afraid of her. She is much more scary than you think. Please don't think about her. Don't watch films like this. Don't let them inspire you to starving yourself. You're beautiful. But she don't want to let you see it. Look at the mirror and say: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

[@lyseae]

@@yosui9876 I swear I hate her. I hate her so much. I don't want her in my life anymore. She's there for too long. But I don't know how to live without her anymore.. I'm so tired. Tired of fighting her. Tired of figthing myself. I'm trying, I swear I'm trying. I'm afraid too. I'm afraid too..

[@yosui9876]

@@lyseae I have one question: Do you think you can't be perfect without her?

[@aprilthomas5919]

This is my new favorite song u have such an amazing and beautiful voice! Your so talented!

[@bee9892]

Your voice and music are amazing❤️

[@eduarda6174]

I preferer in 1,25x

[@v0m1t_c0r3_kryp]

everytime i eat i punish myself by listening to these ed songs and throughout the duration of the song i do exercises until it’s finished. It’s painful but i can’t stop it. I want to be thin like all the other girls. I know how fucked up this is but it feels good to lose weight..

[@spaceneedle5142]

The cover art suites this song very nicely.

[@riceypudding]

"Haunted by my monstrous host, Who I am, nobody knows, I'm the girl that Ana chose." :(

[@aporue5893]

her voice reminds me so much of Ellie goulding.I love it.

[@LB-bq3kz]

This speaks to me

[@naoexoxo6608]

AAA This is amazing!

[@aporue5893]

pure poetry

[@justtamara1278]

Listening to this while crying bc I want to binge so bad but I cant bc I know if I do I’ll be more miserable and so I’m in this dilemma and the two voiced are fighting in my head. I think I’m losing my mind. I didn’t realise how fucked up I was and now I can’t go back. I don’t know how to stop this and I’m losing myself slowly but surely

[@ADevilFromHeaven]

ooh this is a mood

[@holyfrick5605]

aYyyYy ANOTHER UPLOAD!

[@perfectchinadoll81]

LOVE YOUR MUSIC

[@allyashc2436]

Old favorite on Spotify ❤️

[@Pzagozda]

It's amazing 😍

[@shaysucksatlife]

Amazing!

[@pinkiehigh1034]

I love your art

[@aporue5893]

beautiful voice.

[@chiara6942]

I love her songs 😭 so relatable ❤️

[@joenunya7140]

Ahaha another song yes! Love it!!!

[@LingLing-pn3us]

Love this!

[@delucien4075]

♥

[@Leansophfit]

😯😏😁

[@LingLing-pn3us]

itallabouthealth Why are you smirking over there 😂🤪

[@rubyf3007]

One of first Ana songs I listened to... i felt someone understood how I felt. When landed in hospital all my friends knew my prob. Couldn't relate to perfect weight 88 when I was 83lbs and wanted to be less

[@lyseae]

"perfect weight 88" is from who ? I know this sentence in Never good enough of Rachel where the "perfect weight" its just to show how we set a weight in our mind to be perfect and where we'll stop but we dont when we hit that "perfect weight" I hope you are better ♡

[@rubyf3007]

@@lyseae LMAO! Was replying to Rachel's song and the song switched... Tbh now 88lbs wud be perfect... I understand that she meant it inn that way but it wud bother me ( and make new feel better than those who are striving tho be that weight...) I did get better weight wise but my thought process has relapsed. All I think about is how fat i am and stuff.... I wish ppl wud understand the way I feel and not just brush out away. I guess I feel sad and lonely in this state

[@lyseae]

@@rubyf3007 You are not alone. I know how it could feel outside, and with people around you that doesnt understand. But here we know what its like ♡ im so sorry youre relapsing >

[@rubyf3007]

@@lyseae ❤

[@ankitamandal18]

what was ur bmi when u got hospitalised?