Girlfriend Asked For A Open Relationship She's Shocked I Instantly Broke Up With Her r/Relationships

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1: Mark knows the age old rule of "If they cheat WITH you, they'll cheat ON you."

[@AndyyWithAY]

Too many people either think they're special or are dumb as a box of rocks. His wife was 7 months pregnant and bedbound and he stepped out on her, but I'm definitely the only one. Sure Jan

[@InDeathWeLove]

I'd take it even a step further, if they leave their current relationship to be with you even if they haven't physically cheated yet they will do the same to you so don't be surprised when they leave you and show up with your replacement within days. People tend to repeat their previous behaviour.

[@Yatolc]

@@InDeathWeLove That doesn't work because there's a multitude of reasons to leave a relationship, its true if the person leave the relationship because they simply found someone "better" it can happen to you but there could be other factors where it wouldn't be the case unless the same factors repeat themselves.

[@WilliamBrowning]

Some people seem to foolishly believe, 'they cheated with me because I'm so special'. Nope. They cheated because they are a cheater and they will burn you in exactly the same way. Once a cheater, Always a cheater.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

Story 2: A good lesson to remember is don’t mess with people who flirt with you and say they’re in a relationship. Even if it’s just as friends, you don’t wanna hang out with people like that.

[@pippo17173]

Op is just as terrible as her only he will come out on top because potential love interest just broke the law and that. You hope he improves after this but no I think he will just be smarter if he is gonna pull an affair with someone.

[@curtisalex456]

" don’t mess with people who flirt with you and say they’re in a relationship", especially if you work together!!!!🤦‍♂🤦‍♂🤦‍♂

[@teacheschem]

OP was not the one committed to someone else. She was 90% the mess in all of this. She needs to suffer serious conferences for trying to ruin someone’s career!

[@WobblesandBean]

@@teacheschem He is still an awful person.

[@TelManothHexperax]

So victim blaming is OK now or just because its à man ?

[@kuno3336]

"It was platonic!" -man who ACTIVELY SOUGHT a restaurant they wouldn't be seen together in after finding out she had a bf

[@orchidoxs126]

YES! Dude Knew what he was doing and didn't care, if it was platonic you wouldn't need to hide. Rachel is a witch, you don't falsely accuse someone. Far worse then op but.. Op knew full well she was in a relationship but didn't care. As soon as he found out he should've stopped right then and there. Instead he makes up excuses "it's platonic!" "It was just for the experience of going somewhere new!" He wasn't actually taking accountability for flirting and trying to go steady with a woman in a relationship. He didn't care till it backfired on him. Edit: spelling

[@eldeano9964]

The best "my wife pitched/demanded/suggested etc, an open relationship" story I've heard is one written by a woman. Where the husband took a day to think about it. Then came back and agreed under the condition that he was no longer there for her emotionally or sexually. She agreed because she obviously had someone already lined up. And husband moved into his man cave and doesn't want to know about her day/sexual exploits as per their agreement. She was losing her shit over it 🤣

[@jstar1054]

please give a link if you can

[@truthseeker9249]

LINK! I need to read that story.

[@jasoncarter4343]

I remember that post. I think he, his daughter, and a female friend would spend time together.

[@LunaP1]

😆

[@randomusername3873]

My favourite one was the story when the Op was suddently askes to open the marriage, after a speech about all the benefits that come with it. The Op agreed and set up a date with a colleague in front of the spouse that started freaking out and begging to not go (but why😂), went on the date, banged the colleague and ended the marriage the day after😂😂

[@spinshocker]

Asking to open up a monogamous relationship is basically code for “I’m not into you anymore but I’m too much of a coward to break up”

[@casualcausalityy]

Not just cowardice, they also want to keep the benefits of the existing relationship while screwing around

[@williamclayton9566]

@@casualcausalityy aka, "Cake eaters."

[@MinisterManDan]

I don’t agree with that, but I’m really really skeptical of what people call “open relationships” nowadays. Tons of people your mom and grandmas age have had happy relationships while being swingers. That’s actually just sex and it’s a fun vacation thing where both sides get to find a partner to have fun with, and then you get off the boat back in Florida and never see those people again. Going on dates and sharing intimacy with other people seems like the thing you do when two people don’t love each other any more but respect each other as parents too much to break up. I just don’t see many people with open relationships who have healthy “main” relationships.

[@somedragonbastard]

​@@MinisterManDan it's the weird tendency towards coercing a partner into one instead of both partners being enthusiastic participants and the odd line it makes between full monogamy and full polyamory

[@ggdail]

99% of the time when someone suggests an open relationship out of the blue, they already have someone specific in mind that they want to sleep with or already are sleeping with. It's basically asking retroactively for permission to cheat.

[@ggdail]

And if you don't break up with them, they'll just sneak around instead.

[@TriXJester]

Story 2: If it's in the hands of IT guys, then her days are numbered because they will be able to find those messages eventually.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Doesnt matter. The damage is done.

[@jacegallagher8589]

Story 1: Just from the opening, I'm proud of OP. He did not entertain his ex's BS for one moment. That is key to his own healing.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 2; I mean as much as I don’t agree with what OP did (flirting with a woman in a relationship and Rachel should have definitely shut that shit down,) he didn’t deserve to be smeared like that. I hope he’s able to Sue and clear his name. As trashy as he was, Rachel was downright evil

[@am7081ify]

At least op has learned his lesson and will think twice before thinking with his genitals again. Rachel deserves to be charged and sent to prison.

[@paulastiles5507]

Yeah, OP was a moron who was thinking with his little brain, but he wasn't the one already in a relationship and he wasn't the one who tried to wreck someone else's reputation as a cynical cya. That was Rachel.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Lol, nope. He is also evil. For this case, I sure hope the gender bias work in her favor. That way, he wouldnt dare to touch another man's woman in the future.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

@@paulastiles5507 yet he would wreck bf life. Dude, how many cheating stories depict a broken hearted OP (male n female)? This might be the only story where an AP got his comeuppance. Hillarious.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@eleethtahgra7182 What's hilarious is that you think the coworker only ever "dated" OP. She's the cheater. She's the one responsible. And she crossed all kinds of lines in trying to throw OP under the work bus.

[@Iflie]

Weird that she was able to delete everything so well, I thought nothing was ever truly gone. But yeah I think it had to do with the boyfriend, he may even have created that whole post with the picture. But of course no one is blameless there. If you have to hide it from the public and you have a boyfriend, don't do it. It's al blackmail material.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Especially with Apple products. I am thinking the IT guys aren't as good as they think they are. It takes a professional program to permanently delete things on most electronic devices (unless they are specifically set up to delete after reading, think CIA). Personally, I think both of these people are scum. There is NO SUCH THING as friends of the opposite sex. It has been proven time and again that even the longest-term "friendships" will result in sex IF the correct opportunity arises. A while back, I think it was CNN, that did a test to prove that males and females CAN be just friends. It backfired horribly when all 3 of their test case females sent out texts to their "male friends", that they broke up with their boyfriend and just needed to get laid, RIGHT NOW. The reply texts were interesting in that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE MALE FRIENDS answered back they would "help" her out and screw her.

[@cv8167]

I'd say that the fact she knew how to delete everything that well shows that she's done this before.

[@HiltownJoe]

If you know what you are doing, you can delete data pretty good with apple products. The last mac I had (10 years ago) had an easy to reach option to overwrite all empty space like tenfold with random ones and zeros, which meant that any deleted data would be lost even for three letter agency experts. The advent of solid state memory has also made recovery harder.

[@StefenBruh]

If a lawsuit goes through, they could subpoena apple for the messages. Doesn't matter if you delete or wipe your device, or your own cloud. It is stored somewhere on the server.

[@savvivixen8490]

​@@StefenBruh I'm glad you brought it up. We probably won't hear about it from this story, because if his lawyer is aware of the reddit/youtube posts, he'd have to cease and desist any info until the case is fully closed AND there's no NDA on the case/settlement. At least, that's what the pattern seems to be with these. The lawyer seemed competent enough.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - OP knows she has a boyfriend and still kept messing around with her? Good lord. She’s obviously got a bunch of issues but what a terrible decision OP made, participating in a relationship like that can lead to all sorts of trouble, like this story clearly did. He needs to grow from this, or next time it might not be his reputation that pays for it.

[@lordlyhawk]

"Hope he knows she has a boyfriend."exactly I thought I was going crazy

[@joaolima7131]

Seriously, people like that OP disgust me, he have a character fail just like his precious lover

[@pippo17173]

Ya like this is basically two idiots fighting and no one enjoying the scene because someone is gonna be on top and you would still hate them for it

[@sonialinsey8083]

I was like bud u trying to get your a55 kicked?! Dude’s just asking for trouble.

[@JayeEllis]

So what she has a boyfriend? Who cares? Gender is not a determining factor on if one can befriend someone. Flirting is not dating. It's not on him if she chose not to tell her partner about her friend, but he didn't touch her, so what if they shared a meal in a public place?

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: women like that are the reason why a lot of real victims of harassment and SA aren’t believed. She only did it to save her nasty skin not caring about what it could do to OP nor the outcome of all the women who don’t lie about being victims. She is a truly awful human being that deserves to be alone forever

[@Rose-yt5hi]

Imagine nuking your career to cover up your not-quite-kosher work “friendship”. Bad decisions all around in this story, lol.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@Rose-yt5hi yes, but hers was worse, by saying he SHed her. She lied to save her skin and dumped more into the heaping pile of garbage false accusations that lead to real victims of r@pe, SA, SH, DV not being believed. Her’s goes a LOT more into evil than OP’s idiocy

[@ACAB.forcutie]

And all the false theft accusations are why theft victims aren't believed, right.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Theft and SA are NOT the same. Outta here with that bs.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

This is just another way to blame women for rape culture.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

Story 1: The biggest hit to the gf's credibility was her claiming she didn't mean it. Realistically, the month during which she acted distant before asking for opening the relationship was probably a manipulation tactic, an attempt to make OP feel he needed to agree in order to "fix" a problem she intentionally created. You don't do that and _not_ mean it.

[@Sparky0627]

She actually did cheat on him during that month.

[@rainbow_fox_]

I used to be poly, now I'm in a monogamous relationship. when I first started dating my current boyfriend the very first serious discussion I had was asking him if we were poly or not, in which he said no, and I said alright. I never brought it up again. I knew going into the relationship that we would most likely be monogamous and I made sure with myself that I would be okay with that before I started dating him. if I hadn't been okay with that, I never would've started the relationship. you can't force someone to be poly if that's not what they're into, and if that's something you can't live without, then don't date someone who isn't poly. 🤷

[@kathydurow6814]

This is what being ethical looks like, folks.👏👏👏

[@eelchiong6709]

Ok fox, I forgive your poly past. Seems incredible that people can actually change.

[@kathydurow6814]

@Eel Chiong What exactly is there for you to forgive? How have you personally been wronged? Their choice is their choice, please explain how this impacts you? And yes, readers, I'm not automatically assuming Fox identifies as a cis or bi woman, so "their" is appropriate. There's that trite saying that if you assume, it makes an ass out of u & me after all.

[@samiulhuda4001]

you will cheat soon enough dont worry

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@kathydurow6814 ya nobody is participating in this pronoun bs. its him/he she/her and retard if you wanna really add a new one

[@dreampiper]

Story 2: Wait so as soon as she saw the nudes message she threw the phone in terror and anger….So how did the Facebook post get there then??? Did it not only delete her messages but also posted for her with captions and everything 😂!

[@Snowshowslow]

Yes! Also, the very "screenshot" she posted should be up for scrutiny at well. The metadata on that should show it's been messed with, right?

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Facebook post? From computer.

[@Plaprad]

@@eleethtahgra7182 How do you post something on a computer from a phone so broken nothing can be accessed? Even IT said all pictures were gone.

[@dillongage]

​@@Snowshowslow he could just drop his pants and prove its not his dick. 😂😂

[@dillongage]

​@@eleethtahgra7182 the only way that works is if she does use the apple cloud, or her phone wasnt broken until well later. Either way, shes caught in a lie and all credibility is lost.

[@kecward78]

Story 2: I wonder if the BF found out and decided to trash her rep and also OP at the same time? And then wipe everything from her devices to make her look even more guilty?

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

That's what I thought too. He needs to go scorched earth on her.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

If so, he would be in his "rights" to do that. Neither the OP nor the woman are "decent" people. Granted, it may be more "her" than the OP, but I think the OP is probably sugar-coating his involvement in all of this so as not to look like a complete D-bag on Reddit. The fact remains, she was in a relationship and wanted to spend time with the OP. The OP knew she was in a relationship and didn't hesitate to spend time with her including "Dates" which he specifically put in quotes because HE KNEW they were dates. Neither of them are someone I would want as a friend or be in a relationship with because both of them are untrustworthy.

[@Russman67]

I was thinking that the boyfriend had a hand in it. She is sketchy and OP was likely thinking he was making his move. If the BF pulled this off and covered his tracks that well on the way out, he is not a man to be messed with.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

@@thomasjoseph5876 LOL, nope. Its both of them. Why do u think theres similar rule in 10 commandment; Dont cheat n dont boink other guy's wife? Shes a 304. Hes a guy who got a buzz from fukkin other guy's SO.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

@@Russman67 yeah. He nuked AP n gf life. But....more like gf choose bf over AP. Bf found out. Gf ask for second chance. Bf tell gf to nuke AP life for her to get second chance. Then bf leave. Master stroke.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Look, either have an open relationship or don’t. Don’t start a monogamous relationship and try to change it to an open relationship. Just date other poly people. It’s that simple. Actual poly people don’t date monogamous people. Only people who want to cheat with permission or have multiple partners while their partner has just them do this. Story 2: She lives with her boyfriend but we’ve been flirting for the past few weeks. What an opening paragraph right here

[@femboy__bunny]

I do want to point out that not everyone knows they’re polyamorous right off the bat. It’s a lot like gender and sexuality - because we live in a cishet & monogamous society it’s hard to know how you feel, and sometimes figuring that out happens in relationships. Obviously this wasn’t the case, it’s just a straight up cheating situation, but for many people who are polyam for real don’t do this to intentionally hurt their partners when they find out.

[@fyoutube9410]

@Ciel Graceworth so what? Even if they discover it during a relationship, the poster's condition still stand, start a relationship monogamous or poly, period, people need to stop trying to get people to mix and mash.

[@MsBELLE7]

@@fyoutube9410 people can successfully switch from monogamous to polyamory, though both people must be on the same page.

[@femboy__bunny]

@@fyoutube9410 read what I wrote again. It’s like discovering your gender or sexuality in a relationship where you were originally something else, and depending on the partner, the partner will either work with it or break up. Those are the two options. I never stated that it had to work, that these things happen. I’m a polyamorous trans gay dude, it took me a long time to figure that out about myself and my girlfriend turned from a romantic partner to a queer platonic partner I’m still married to. We just shifted our expectations of the relationship and we’re both happy. We did therapy to make sure we were content with the scenario.

[@femboy__bunny]

I meant to write wife lmao 🤣

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Mark, please keep up with Story 2! By the end of The Dick Pic Saga you'll probably be able to do a single story 30+ minute update video. The only downside is that it will likely take as long for this story to end as a movie series like the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy took to make with how long the American legal system takes to get justice unless she settles out of court!

[@AuskaDezjArdamaath]

I for one want to know where this goes and if we ever find out why she did it.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

@@AuskaDezjArdamaath Me too. My money is on the boyfriend finding out and making her sabotage OP as a contingent for them to stay together.

[@k3upikachu]

Unfortunately it looks like it was posted in 2019, so if we haven't gotten an update at this point, we probably never will 🤬😮‍💨🫤

[@dulceorta7872]

This story was posted 3 years ago and has had no further update :(

[@W0lfscythe]

This is the 1st post I heard about an SO suddenly wanting an open relationship and OP dumps her on the spot. Good on him for seeing that red flag right away.

[@InDeathWeLove]

I'm seeing more and more of these. I think it's because most people have kind of caught on to the whole opening the relationship scam and are more aware now than they were when this trend first started catching on.

[@AndyyWithAY]

This would be instant for me as well. A lot of people see being in a committed monogamous relationship as some of negative because you can't sex other people. But, to me that's the greatest thing I could imagine. I only experience sexual attraction when I'm in love with someone. I have no desire to do the deed with someone else when I'm in a relationship and I'd never be with someone who was fine with me having sex with other people. All of that is a deal breaker for me.

[@Mukna132]

The issue I see with a lot of people with this same mindset (which is perfectly valid btw) is that they see poly/open people as being in something that isn't a 'real' relationship. Which is absolute bullshit for many reasons.

[@JustWatchingSomeStuff]

​@@Mukna132never have I seen a poly relationship go good for everyone. Someone becomes the favorite, or someone just becomes the least favorite and gets neglected by the rest. I've seen it even in my own family. My aunt thought that was what she wanted, she and her husband welcomed people into their home, then it ended with her taking the kids and leaving because he fell for the other girls and didn't want her around anymore. And she used to talk about how fun it was at first. So no, I don't see how it can be a real relationship. The only relationships I've seen work have been with a single pair of people. I'm almost 30 and have NEVER seen a poly group that works long term. Always ends with one pair from the group that actually stays together, or they all split.

[@Mukna132]

@@JustWatchingSomeStuff ok so you haven't seen it, yet here I am after nearly 4 years with my partner and still going strong

[@JustWatchingSomeStuff]

@@Mukna132 I'm glad you guys are doing good, we need more people sticking together, but it was the absolute bullshit comment that stood out there. You guys may be doing great, but in my experience none have worked out for a decade (of staying open or constantly reopening, somone always perminately closes or leaves it). Others having differing experiences doesn't make their reasons bullshit, just like how my experiences don't make yours invalid or unreal. It sounds you're focused on one partner now and not more? Did you agree to it at the start or did one of you suggest it later in (the later always seem to be the most problematic)? Are you still open, has it been closed, or not open but willing to open it again? Did you guys just sleep around when it was open or just treat it like a legit getting to know someone new kind of dating? And are you from the US or a different county where open marriages/being married to multiple partners is common?

[@Mukna132]

@@JustWatchingSomeStuff every poly relationship is different. Some have primary partners (as we do), some don't. It has never been closed, always open. We have both slept around and getting close to others too. And I guess we are in a place where it's a pretty common thing, though I don't understand why that matters. Either they don't work, or they do regardless of location

[@lilolmecj]

Many years before he and I met my husband, in high school was having his first love relationship. She suggested they date others, I think they were seniors. He just said no. I think she regretted it for a long time, but what was done was done. She still sends a family Christmas card, is married, has grown children etc. After 36 years of marriage she still can’t remember my name.

[@dscheaffer]

Story 2 - All of OP’s troubles could have been avoided, if he refused to date a woman in a committed relationship. It also doesn’t matter if they were intimate or not, as they were already having an emotional affair, whether he admits it or not. Hopefully, he learned his lesson and won’t do it again.

[@machetey]

Springing an open relationship on someone is a way of saying” I want to be physically intimate other people but I still want the emotional and financial support from you”

[@jackspring7709]

This has been happening a lot in the last 2 years, for some reason - and it always ends the same way, even with people who agreed to it in order to keep their partner happy. The person who suggests it nearly always ends up bitterly regretting it. BTW - re: the distant behaviour - she either had someone in mind or was already cheating. UPDATE: Aha. No surprises there.

[@dr0g_Oakblood]

4:53 - always nice to see a wholesome resolution where the other guy’s like: “yeah she didn’t tell me she was dating you, I broke it off once I learned about it”, and then they can commiserate together about being two-timed by the same person.

[@addicted2mako]

"Honey, come back! I can't monkey-branch if I'm not still in a relationship with you!!!!" At least that's what I imagine her to be thinking

[@mattl6300]

Story 2: Guys keep thinking it's a good idea to flirt and/or be friends with girls at work. When dealing with women at work, the interactions must be kept professional and never be alone with a member of the opposite sex.

[@diamcole]

Honestly, I wish I had done the same when I was asked to open a long-term relationship. It may seem rash but sometimes things just boil down to compatibility. Sometimes it's best to walk away and end things before resentment kicks in.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It's not rash, certain things tell you immediately you're incompatible. This is one

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

I just can't feel sorry for a guy who was ready to cheat with a girl who had a boyfriend. He can moan and groan all he want's to, but someday karma's going to come knocking and he'll deserve everything she hands out.

[@zerobolt9506]

It didn't sound like he was gonna cheat with her, it did sound like he wanted to get with her at first, but the bf thing & getting to know her made him want to be friends instead.

[@MrBizteck]

Ahh classic victim blaming. If it was a woman being accused ... she will have defenders from all angles. He was stupid and a bit of a dick ... but SHE IS THE CRIMINAL. She is the problem....SHE WAS THE ONE FLIRTING WITH A SINGLE MAN. ......

[@KashyaCharsi]

He would have deserved to be caught for his actual actions, not slandered by someone just as bad.

[@Knives7777]

Story 1: The second they ask for an open relationship, you know they are either already cheating or they are already planning to cheat and want your permission. You weren't harsh enough imo. Toss them in the trash the second that shit comes up. This goes for borh men and women.

[@deifieddata4462]

Too many "my partner opened the relationship and got mad at all the incredible sex I was having" poly stories out there, happy to see someone having the right response to being asked to open up. Don't acquiesce, don't tell them no, just break up then and there if you have the slightest doubt.

[@bloonh8tr619]

I'm biased due to all the reddit stories but when I hear an open relationship then I think my SO is cheating on me and is using an OR as a cover up and say the other person is their "date" or whatever. Besides that OP want a closed relationship and she wants an open one so that's a thing OP didnt want. ETA and there he was. Glad the other guy was a good chap and also dumped her like hot garbage. Best of luck to him and OP

[@barbthegreat586]

You're only in an OR if you BOTH agree to it IN ADVANCE. Otherwise, this is cheating. I'm monogamous person but to my knowledge, OR have quite a lot of rules about who with/ when/ place etc. one can have an OR with. If these mutually agreed (in advance) rules are broken then this is cheating, too. Also, in my experience, poly people might not be in your face but if you're around them you'll soon find out they're poly. It"s not very likely that somebody will suddenly become poly, unless they're already cheating, about to cheat or have somebody in mind they want to cheat with.

[@InDeathWeLove]

It's because frequently it is. People who aren't originally going for an open relationship that suddenly want to tend to do so because they expect to cash in on said open relationship in the near future not as some concept of free love or whatever that they may or may not partake in at some undefined point. Sure there may be some that think like that, but the majority of those would be asking for an open relationship before getting into a monogamous one not after. There are of course outliers, but I would say people actually having someone they are already sleeping with or are close enough with as in a serious emotional affair that they are confident they could make it a sexual one are the ones most likely to push for an open relationship so they can make it legitimate rather than cheating.

[@Nikephorus]

She was being distant, and then asked for an open relationship. She already has someone lined up or has already cheated. She's only crawling back because it didn't work out with the new guy.

[@fhuber7507]

1... When someone asks for an open relationship... they already have their "spare partner" picked out. OP was 100% right to tell the serial cheater in training to get lost.

[@wendyhadley2764]

I agree with Opie and Mark on this, if she's been thinking about it and then says no I won't do that it would leave me forever wondering if she isn't still thinking about it.

[@InDeathWeLove]

It's opening Pandora's box. You're never going to not remember how they wanted to sleep with other people and worse yet not unlikely already were. I would never be able to continue the relationship because you can never go back to not knowing what that discussion means.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Don't 💩 where you 🥔(eat). She's his coworker who already has a BF. It doesnt seem like OP is very bright 🤦🏾‍♀️ He's not to blame for being framed and lied on, but like the red flags to not have even gotten involved in the first place. I just can't.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Lol, cos theres never a repercussion for AP. Any AP could fukk anyone's gf or wife n the law couldnt touch him. Well....except in 6 states in usa. In japan, cheated spouse could sue the cheater n AP for damage.

[@InDeathWeLove]

Just thinking with his little head whether he is aware of it or not. He acts like how this was all completely innocent and totally not a problem and they were just friends. Maybe he isn't totally aware of it, but a part of him was seeing this as more than just a friendship most of all after he noticed her hiding that they were speaking and seeing each other outside of work.

[@sarahchapman532]

Kudos to the 1st OP for having the sense to skedaddle the second his gf asked for an open relationship. Most stories you hear from reddit like this, the posters get bullied into agreeing to what their partner wants.

[@ttrev007]

I think open relationships are like wanting children they are absolute deal breakers if you are not on the same page. If someone springs that on you it is best to end it and let them start a relationship open. I agree it is very unlikely if you spring an open relationship that both parties are really onboard, as far as i am concerned you are emotionally blackmailing the partner into it if they agree. I bet very few open relationships work if they started closed.

[@InDeathWeLove]

What are the odds that both parties were actually secretly considering wanting to open up their monogamous relationship? Slim to none. In almost all cases there is one party that wants it and another that needs to be "convinced" and when I say convinced in most cases it's just blatant manipulation. You've grown attached to someone you would never have grown attached to if they had come out with the open relationship talk before bonds were formed and now they are abusing those bonds they gained under false pretences to manipulate you into accepting a relationship you never wanted. I mean that's straight abusive.

[@ttrev007]

@@InDeathWeLove yep

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: That's not only defamation, it would be defamation per se. What she has accused you of is egregious enough in and of itself that you probably wouldn't even have to prove damages.

[@DragonflyandTheWolf]

Story 1: Dang, good for OP for knowing his worth and willing to break things off over something clearly not right with the relationship. I see so many of these posts where the OP stays in the relationship way past this point because of the long history of the relationship and not wanting to start over. This OP has solid self respect for himself to know he deserves better.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Damn I love this guy. If she's asking for an open relationship it means she has someone in the batter's box ready to come hit it lol Also people who suggest it get resentful if the other person is more "popular" than they predicted.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Actually, from everything that I have read and seen, not only does it mean they have someone "lined up" for sex, most of them usually are already having sex with someone. They are usually just feeling "guilty" for the sex they already had, want to have more sex but don't want to sneak around, or just want to keep their existing boyfriend/husband on the hook until they make a decision if/when to leave for another dude.

[@InDeathWeLove]

The outcomes are usually. - The one that suggested it gets action while the one that accepted it only accepted it out of fear of losing the relationship and resents the one that suggested it which will lead to them resenting the one that suggested it. - The one that accepted ends up actually being successful in the open relationship and the suggesting party starts to resent them and tries to close the relationship because it no longer suits them. - The one that suggested it was actually already cheating and the whole idea was just a giant get out of jail free card. If the other party ever finds out again resentment. The problem is once you have a long established closed relationship what are the odds of both parties at the same time deciding they want to have an open relationship? It's basically none so there is almost always one party trying to convince(most often just manipulate) the other party into accepting the open relationship despite them not wanting it. That's no basis for a healthy relationship.

[@coldcity5466]

I love the work you do on this channel :) I will listen to stories I have heard before just to hear Mark's take on it.

[@MarkNarrations]

That's very kind of you Coldcity. Appreciate you!

[@kellieoberstar]

0

[@kellieoberstar]

0

[@kellieoberstar]

Pl

[@kellieoberstar]

Loll

[@fcold9402]

1. I would think the first question you should ask if your SO asks for an open relationship is "so who do you want to sleep with?" followed up with "so have you already slept with them?". Of course the second question (after the denial) could be "So why are you asking, you must have your eye on someone?".

[@InDeathWeLove]

When the question comes up the very best you can hope for is that they have an emotional affair that they want to sleep with guilt free. Which is already a relationship ender. The worst cases are all even worse. Either they are already cheating or they want to test out a new boyfriend to see if it's better in which case you open the relationship for their trial period and then they dump you for your replacement. The percentage of people willing to risk their "good" relationship for the concept of an open relationship is vanishingly small. The vast majority is asking because they have someone in mind and also are pretty sure they can sleep with the someone they have in mind given the chance.

[@Likeomgitznich]

I have never heard of “you can’t sue her because she works here” this is amaerica. You can sue anyone for anything, at anytime.

[@phoenixfyre365]

Story 1: 5:00 reminds me of the meme where the guy says something to the effect of _"So I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. So to get even, I tied her up and _*_made her watch me have sex with the same guy."_* I legit laughed at how close that meme almost became a reality here.

[@michamocha]

S2: Op should've screen record his end of the conversation and posted it as a response before with a "interesting." before reporting her to the higher ups. But yeah, Op messed up big time by continuing their 'friendship' after flirting with her and her reciprocating despite having a boyfriend. Hopefully, he does learn his lesson from this but I do wish the best for him when he takes this to HR or the police.

[@mr.dantastic5073]

I don’t think he’d be able to reply to hers, as she blocked him.

[@kakonoteouji4876]

Good for you op don't fall for that bs of open relationships, usually have someone in mind or already doing it. Sorry to hear that though buddy good luck to you

[@GaiusGear]

Something similar to story 2 happened at one of my old jobs. This lady started working with us, and she was awful. Kept offloading her work on others, refused to answer phones, and sucked up to out manager. The first thing I learned about her was that her boyfriend was driving by the office several times a day because he didn't trust/believe her when she said she had a job. It was one of those things she said like it was a joke and was weird to tell someone on your first day. Well, she and her boyfriend got into a fight and broke up, and she was pregnant. So she latched onto our manager and started flirting with him. I don't know how far it went, but when this lady and her boyfriend reconciled and the BF found the flirty texts with our manager on her phone? She immediately cried sexual harrassment. Her boyfriend called the business and started screaming and threatening our manager, and it turned into a huge HR meeting. Despite his fuckup, the manager fessed up immediately and handed his phone to HR to review the texts. The lady cried and said that her phone lost all of the messages between them. Thankfully, she was immediately fired when her BS started to stink so hard the owner decided to throw out the trash. The manager got a reprimand, but life moved on. Last I heard about the lady, she was a staunch anti-vaxer, insisted she was going to homeschool her kid despite describing herself as "dumb as hell", and she broke up with her boyfriend and was on the run from the police. For what? Hitting her boyfriend. Meanwhile, we were told she went on maternity leave very early despite only starting a few months before and no one missed her.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Yeah, probably what happen in story 2 as well. Bf cought up, gf cry seksual harrasment.

[@owl7072]

I was just working on a story but stopped to make some lunch and give my brain a break so this is great timing lol

[@MarkNarrations]

Oooo what's your story about Owl if you can share?

[@owl7072]

@Mark Narrations Ahhh, it's basically like a supernatural type thing mixed with a little bit of sci-fi and horror, if that makes sense? It's a whole series I'm working on, and I finished the outline/rough draft ages ago. The world itself is based around the fact that magic exists, but as time went on and we became more technologically advanced, it became harder to find/access. The overall main antagonist of the story is a man whose semi immortal, and he achieves this by using the blood of supernatural creatures, but due to these creatures becoming harder to find over time, he's resorted to... other means of getting it. (I'll add more in a separate reply)

[@owl7072]

The creatures he does manage to find, he uses to conduct experiments on other humans, essentially turning them into supernatural beings (like vampires, shapeshifters, werewolves, etc.) _however_ their blood isn't as strong as that of a naturally born creature, so he also uses them to find others. Each one is capable of finding any supernatural being, however they're more proficient at finding whatever they're made after (For instance, werewolves are better at finding other werewolves, but could find a mermaid if necessary) One of my main characters is actually one of his creations that had managed to escape years ago, but she doesn't remember it, and the story essentially starts with her and her friends going up to a lodge during winter break, but while they're there, weird things start happening and eventually they need to find a way to escape it before Bad Thingsᵗᵐ happen. (The Bad Thingsᵗᵐ will happen regardless in order to advance to the rest of the series, but they don't need to know that 💞)

[@kacielawrence]

@@owl7072 sounds very interesting!

[@owl7072]

@@kacielawrence thank you 🥰

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - Considering how these things usually turn out, OP did the absolute right thing and just noped right out the minute his ex started that nonsense. Good for him and his friends were/are crazy to tell him it was not the right thing to do!

[@carlrood4457]

It's almost always a case that they've either already cheated or have someone lined up and want permission to cheat.

[@fionna_cool_girl]

When my boyfriend and I got together, we both made it clear that this will be a monogamous and serious relationship that could lead to us dating, being committed, living together, getting married and maybe having kids. Not a fling, no funny business, no polyamory, nothing of the sort. If he were to change his mind, I'd immediately be out. I'm in a relationship to have a single partner to be my best friend, to love and spend the rest of my life with. Not to have my feelings toyed with and use polyamory as an excuse to change the rules of our relationship. People who do that are disgusting

[@mikeremski2102]

Story 2 has a simple solution: Here's the pic, let me drop trou and you compare. She obviously got caught and made up a story to explain to her boyfriend

[@MisterNightfish]

Story 1: OP did the right thing. When they ask you for an open relationship, don't fight, don't argue, just break up and move on. Can't get more open than that. Nevermind that for the month she was "acting distant" she was 99% already cheating on him and just wanted permission after the fact. Definitely do not take her back, it's not worth it. The trust is gone and it's not coming back. And the only reason she comes crying now is because it didn't work out with the other guy. (edit: after the update: Welp...)

[@amerlin388]

Story 2. I don't understand how an employer can prevent OP from suing a current employee. Can a lawyer explain? Hostile workplace? Retaliation against a sexual harassment claim?

[@Plaprad]

Not sure if you'll see this, but I've worked at places with this in the contract. The way it was explained to me was as long as they work for the company, then suing them would look bad on the company. And they use the argument that if it's not bad enough for them to be dismissed, it's not bad enough to sue. So it's just the company CYA, as they usually do.

[@DraidensDen]

My boyfriend of two years (at the time) came out to me that he might be polyamorous, and at first, I didn't think that I would be okay with it, but we sat down and discussed it thoroughly. He did have a partner enter the relationship a bit later, and for a time things were actually really great. I myself am not polyamorous, but I am okay with a polyamorous relationship and would be okay with one. For the record I say 'for a time' because the person that he ended up bringing in was a toxic narcissist which neither of us realized until a while later. He had ulterior motives, and considering that both he and I are on the aromantic asexual spectrums (Limited/none romantic or sexual attraction) and I think it just sort of occured to him he might have love like that for more than one person. That whole rant being to say that being cold, distant, and un-communicative are all bad signs and probably aren't the person in question actually being polyamorous but rather looking for an excuse to be unfaithful.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) You're relationship started in a way that you both wanted things. She changed her mind just as you changed yours. She doesn't get to pretend she didn't waltz that idea around you without destroying whatever trust you had cause now that's gone do to her actions. She either had someone lined up or was already cheating and was looking for permission. If anyone suggests an open relationship it's over. Say it was nice while it lasted, I wish you the best and we're done. Yeah I saw that coming a mile away. She lost everything cause she was selfish. I hope the OP takes whatever time he needs to heal. S2)Sounds like you need to lawyer up, send anything, everything to said lawyer and don't interact at all with this person. Good that your going to the police and your HR about this. Odds are her boyfriend found out and she's trying to say stuff that's not true. Don't contact her in anyway shape or form. At best it's seen as work place hostility on her end. Defamation since she used doctored pics to shame the OP. Destruction of evidence. Cause now OP has all the proof to show what he's saying but her? She has nothing. I'd suggest they do a google image search on this image she said he sent. Odds are if there are any matches it'll help further disprove her case. A cease and desist order with an implication that she must retract the image as well as make a public apology about what she's done. Add in attempted harassment and attempted at an unjust firing she could be also looking at punitive damages as long as the OP takes the stats of what these kinds of claims does to a man's reputation as well as the hit it had taken with her false claims. His lawyer should look into things such as attempted revenge porn as well.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

Story one: Nta at all. People are allowed to leave a relationship if the values of other person drastically changes.

[@onurkneezb]

Story 1: "acting shady for a month" she was already cheating on him

[@Main07vega]

I heard the "distant for a month" and knew everything that OP confirmed happened. Good on the cousin for knowing that if she'll cheat WITH you, she'll cheat ON you

[@platinum_noelle]

That hint of bicuriosity in that first story's update has me wanting OP1 and that Mark dude (apparently that's his name, which is ironic) to get together lmao

[@cynicalminion]

4:56- i'm getting a cabaret "SCREW MAXIMILLIAN!... i do... so do i..." vibe here...

[@UtopiaLtd]

Story 1: Dude is right on the money with his response.

[@NCAnon]

Story 2 makes me think that the colleague's boyfriend was getting suspicious so she did this trying to cover herself in her relationship

[@Russman67]

Or the boyfriend figured it out and set her up. Neither OP or her seem like the sharpest knives in the drawer. Boyfriend getting screen shots, photoshopping an image and wiping his tracks wouldn't be out of the realm of possibilities. And if he did it on her equipment, all fingers point to her.

[@philwill0123]

To me asking for an open relationship is basically saying "you aren't enough". That's a nope out

[@GBunnyG]

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Story 2 is such a tease. I need more answers!

[@deanfisher5017]

NOPE , NOPE , NOPE , to open relationships! She's no longer in love with you, no matter what she says. Her hormones, loyalty, morals, and lust are all competing in her brain. Taker back and it will secretly re-emerge into her thoughts again. Whatever Gulliver she is lusting for will still be waiting !

[@telinhajp]

Hi, Mark! Big hugs from Japan! ❤️🤗

[@keepdancingmaria]

"It's platonic, but secret...." Yeah, no. You were just ASKING for some bad karma, dudley.

[@BraveryWing26]

I am SO GLAD 2nd OP walked free and innocent from the accusations. This could have ruined him.

[@Aymarichan]

I think an open relationship is fine to ask for if you’re not just looking for permission to cheat. But that means that the person you’re asking is allowed to react how they do, as long as it’s not abusive. Obviously. So. Expect getting dumped to be a reaction.

[@shanebrown4146]

Story 1 really made tell you re evaluate what happened. From what happened with my now ex wife(we just grew apart after I had an accident I had)Life happens,Our first date in 1995 There was a girl I was seeing on/off 3 years Call her J - I met my new GF(then wife) named H-On our first date goodnight kiss I told her"I'm seeing other people,she responds"thats OK,Im only seeing you,I yelled "YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT!"We dated 3 years & was a running joke through our 15 year marriage PS me & J are still good friends-it can work as long as all parties are involved

[@DisneyChar]

Not suing employees sounds like a policy that would make the company liable for anything employees do to each other

[@bloonh8tr619]

Thanks for the upload Mark!

[@MarkNarrations]

You're always very welcome Bloon, hope you're doing well friend!

[@bloonh8tr619]

@@MarkNarrations I'm doing fantastic, hope you're doing well too.

[@chesterpophamproductions2879]

The last one may have been a setup for blackmail for money, because some trued that with me, but they usually threaten first, so who knows. I told them with mine to go ahead cause i was ready with the police and the could check my phone and were they ready for their life to ve destroyed with a felony they immediately stopped.

[@asarishepard8171]

this needs to be everyones reactoin to this nonsense. dont let someone talk you into some bs like this. dont do it!

[@meganfenton4189]

On story 2, before the update.. OP should go to his cellphone provider and request records of his text messages. Those records will prove he didn't send the pic.

[@Abby_Normal_1969]

No one ever asks for an open relationship without either already having a new partner in mind or already have cheated.

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

I BEEN SAYING THIS FOR THE LONGEST IF IT DOES NOT S T A R T OPEN, DON’T TRY TO MAKE IT OPEN TRUST DIES AND IS HARD TO BRING BACK Sheeeeesh. There are so few times this works, you’re literally better off starting it open or not at all.

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

And here’s the thing. I totally FULLY support a proper open/poly relationship, because that’s making an agreement with everyone involved from the get-go and following through with your set rules and whatnot. If you want one that bad, then look for people that also want that from the start

[@viralmasquerade]

That's exactly what I plan to do if anyone ever asks me for an open relationship. Even if asked in good faith clearly I'm not enough for them, so why waste my time

[@fyoutube9410]

Good job, op1, zero tolerance to bs.

[@deettekearns9092]

Story 2 - Why did she do it? Because boyfriend found out and she went to an extreme length to cover her ass. Problem is she works with OP. If OP had just been a friend, she might have gotten away with her victim plan. But since they work together, it magnified the problem but saved OP in the end. I imagine she continued lying to boyfriend but the truth will come out as she will most probably lose her job. Depending how much farther she is going to take the lie, she could tell boyfriend she quit but that might also blow up in her face as she has painted herself the victim. Why quit if you have done nothing wrong?

[@audreym3908]

As someone whose family is still currently going through 2 BS lawsuits (same people), it will take time.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: NTA - Your trust is broken. You're done. An open relationship is not something that is suited to monogamous people. If you're not in agreement FROM THE START about the number of partners allowed, then you are simply incompatible. If your partner is trying to 'open' your relationship, it can only mean one thing: They have cut a pony from the herd, and if they are not riding 'em already, they've at least checked the teeth.

[@LillyianPuppy]

She thought about it enough that she got up the strength to ask it out loud. So even if this is a *rare* case where she doesn't already have someone in mind she wants to seggs with, monogamy is not likely to keep her happy over years or decades.

[@giantcat4354]

Another Mark breaking hearts.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I need for people who want open relationships, polyamory all the rest to leave us monogamous people alone. If that's what you want, find like minded people. This is unethical and reeks of coersion because you're changing the terms of the relationship. I know all, even most polyamorous people are not this way. But I'm tired of this loud minority.

[@wmdkitty]

No, it's typical polyamorous cheater mentality -- "I'm a completely standard-free bed-hopper, you need to be one, too!"

[@kathydurow6814]

An ethical non-monogamist should be stating this up front from or very near to the beginning of the acquaintance. It's the non-ethical ones that are the "cheaters" to avoid.

[@groofromtheup5719]

The GF wasn't poly. She just wanted to monkey branch best case, or let this smuck be her wallet while she turns into the town bicycle. Either way, she didn't actually want him sleeping around because he would probably find someone that isn't a POS and leave her.

[@InDeathWeLove]

The thing is most of these wanting to open the relationship after starting a monogamous relationship people aren't poly people. They just want to be able to cheat/sleep with others guilt free when they find someone they can sleep with and they have gotten tired of their current relationship. The fact that in most cases they already have someone lined up kinda proves this. If it was just something innate to you then you would feel like you wanted to be poly before even having someone lined up or already cheating.

[@derfder7810]

What doesn’t surprise me about this is the friends telling him that he overreacted. Trust your gut and not people looking in from outside. Depending who wants to open the relationship, their friends will side with them without considering the the feelings of the person most affected by the proposition when it backfires.

[@InDeathWeLove]

Chances are these "friends" aren't his friends. They are "their" friends. As in her friends that he hung out with due to them being in a relationship. If they were actually primarily his friends they wouldn't be saying that kind of crap.

[@WobblesandBean]

This is why I don't trust people who want to suddenly go poly. All that means is "I'm cheating on you and I don't want to feel guilty about it".

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@zachf748]

*_Story #2 :_* Well, hopefully there’s an update post, and maybe a final update post in the future.

[@jonathanhinshaw588]

Op knew she had a bf.

[@sandracox4341]

Rachel knew she had a boyfriend, yet she was still flirting. 🤷‍♀️ I blame her more than OP.

[@yonaflorczak4600]

Story 1: Honestly good on OP for breaking up with his ex. You either start as an open relationship or you don't. The first few months to first year is a view of what the relationship will look like in the future, so it's wrong to try and change that all of a sudden

[@BraveryWing26]

"Beautiful Effers of Reddit" Now that's a compliment.

[@coreymartin6486]

Nobody asks for an open relationship without also declaring that their "love" for their partner is shallow and dirty.

[@Dragotto]

If they request it, it's b/c they want to cheat or already are. They think getting you to agree would remove the guilt.

[@Ian-gk7ne]

Toprove your innocence, all you need is her phone!!!

[@LusterDust]

"And I would let him eff me to rub it in my ex's face lol" I like this guy!

[@unknown-ql1fk]

How can a company stop you from filing legal aaction against another employee. That sounds shady as shittt...like the company has ZERO bearing on the legality of her actions

[@mommieminnesota3108]

Love too u mark narrations

[@MarkNarrations]