Girlfriend Didn't Believe I Was Sick & Went Out, It Turned Into A Medical Emergency r/Relationships

[@valh889]

She leaves her boyfriend after he begged her to not leave then gets mad at HIM for not calling? Tf???? She deserves to be dumped.

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

Exactly

[@champblaze]

And he is staying with her. smh.

[@destinedtogame]

People learn. The world isn't so black and white

[@DrownedInExile]

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time! And she ignored their agreed time and ambushed him in the update, when he was still recovering and vulnerable. I hope OP sees through her act, and dumps her.

[@lunaticbz3594]

If the main reason people need to face judgement or punishment for a wrong they've done is so that they don't do it again. Then what is the point in punishing someone who already isn't going to do it again?

[@kristy1653]

I don’t think the girlfriend even deserves an apology for the way he spoke to her. Eff that. Sometimes it’s warranted! This is one of those times.

[@drl5002]

I wouldn't have even answered the phone. If she wants to dismiss op's concerns, then she can sit at home worrying until op gets home. Everyone would be on strict orders to tell her nothing. When she complained about being out of the loop, I'd tell her she didn't take the concern seriously so wasn't entitled to a call or information about my condition.

[@Cl0ckcl0ck]

Her first reaction was getting angry at OP. She isn't relationship material.

[@user-fe8gx3ie5v]

fuck*

[@lienemeid]

I had a kidney stone when I was 12 and can now confirm its worse than childbirth. My grandfather once accidentally cut off a finger and the only time my dad saw him cry (/crawl over the floor) was with a kidney stone. I would never be able to forgive OP's gf.

[@Swnsasy]

I spent 3 days on a morphine drip and I was 3mths pregnant.. I had to go through a bag every 2hrs to pass all of them and it took those 3 days to pass them all.. I didn't need surgery, thank goodness, and yes, the pain is right there with childbirth!! I never want to go through that again! Thank goodness it happened with my last child because that pain would have made me not have anymore kids 🤣🤣

[@cl5470]

I went through childbirth and kidney stones in the same month. It was hell.

[@Swnsasy]

@@thecursed01 ROFLOL I get that A LOT! 🤣 People think my son is my boyfriend.. I'm 45 and my kids are son, 27, girls are 23 and 20... I guess they think my husband is my dad🤣🤣 I hate getting carded going to the liquor store too!

[@justaperson4656]

@@thecursed01 it's gall stones/gall bladder. My sister had really bad recurring gall stones and got her gall bladder removed as well, and she was crying that she thought she was dying. Was not fun

[@mimiNana-yi4cy]

yes, I made that statement, also. Kidney stone pain is worth than childbirth. They knew exactly what was wrong when I said that. I, also, would never forgive the gf.

[@emilybarclay8831]

This isn’t just a case of ‘my gf didn’t believe me’ this is a case of ‘my gf’s unresolved issues meant she gaslight and almost caused me serious medical harm, and left me in the worst pain imaginable to suffer alone while telling me I’m crazy and a liar’

[@AndyyWithAY]

So if she's in therapy already why has she not made any strides towards dealing with her obvious issues regarding illness and her parents. That's a giant marinara flag to me!!

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

🎯

[@Mewse1203]

Her behavior after he got home was really creepy. She was asked not to come, did anyway then camped out so he "couldn't change" his mind.

[@jascrandom9855]

She needed a proper scare.

[@mimiNana-yi4cy]

@@Mewse1203 yeah, that creeped me out. I have had two major kidney stone attacks. The first one hit me like a sledge hammer. I called my husband and told him I needed to go to the hospital something was seriously wrong. He rushed home, rushed me to the hospital and was on top of things the whole time. I too had the "zap" treatment. Best treatment ever, immediate relief. I could never imagine a SO not responding appropriately to a sudden onset episode. The pain from kidney stones is some of the worst pain ever, worse than childbirth. fun fact, when I said that in the ER they immediately knew what it was. They said when someone comes in saying the pain is worse than labor it is, almost, always kidney stones. This will not be the last time this girlfriend pulls a stunt like this. She has no empathy and the fact she was more concerned with him dumping her says it all. He needs to dump her ass.

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

Yeah. I wondered that myself.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP: Our relationship is great! Also OP: goes onto reveal an obvious and probably irreparable incompatibility

[@jackspring7709]

Lol.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

Literally ever relationship post on this site... How does starting with "They're the greatest partner on the plant!" end with "Their assholish nature is driving me away."

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Every relationship post on Reddit xD

[@fishbowl5308]

When people ask this I have to wonder have you ever been in a relationship. It's either the rose colored glasses or you push it to the side because it might be the literal only issue you have with them

[@TsukiKageTora]

Honestly it could have been but that one thing of not believing him when he was sick, it just crossed the line when she was mad at him for “faking sick to ‘ruin’ their outing” and left despite his begging her not to where he had to call his family to take him to the ER. Honestly, even if I had the best relationship in the world and that happened, I would be thinking it was irreparable. You can’t fake pain like that. Even if we had the best most compatible relationship, I won’t tolerate someone minimizing my feelings of pain to nothing and left me to basically die

[@tracicolvis7382]

I'm curious in story 1: how does the gf act when SHE is sick? Does she expect sympathy and caring from the bf?

[@owl7072]

Oh she totally does, I feel it in my bones.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

@@owl7072 - Same.

[@XxXShevampXxX]

Yeah, I was actually kinda surprised that this never even came up in the post or ensuing conversation afterwards. I might try finding the actual post to see if someone asked about it in the comments and perhaps OP gave a reply. I'm curious and have no life so might as well lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@samoanjoseph1457]

"I didn't text my girlfriend because I didn't have the strength or foresight." No, OP didn't text her because he knew she wouldn't believe him.

[@Undomaranel]

That and pain meds warp ya. He knew it was pointless, so why put in the energy, and it's easier to blame himself than put the blame where it actually belongs.

[@ronhall5395]

They do, trust me. I was not thinking about my wife. I knew she was busy working. I knew I had no phone. I spent 5 hours in an ER bed waiting an ICU room to open up. I just remember my wife dropping off at the hospital door and telling me what an f up I was. So calling her was not even on my mind.

[@ronhall5395]

Having been there, it is a whirlwind of activity including sedatives. Yeah, not likely he was going to call her. Now his Mom or brother could have. As far as the relationship, people do change. I was going in for out patient surgery. My wife was going to drop me off, my son was going to pick me up. As we pulled into the parking lot I got these horrible chest pain and bad coughing. Like I couldn't breath. My wife was on the phone with a client and she muted and cussed me out for making noise while she was on the phone. Later when she found I had congestive heart failure, she softened her attitude.

[@nvfury13]

@@ronhall5395 No, you do *not* give in to that crap! If pain and physical distress gets you yelled at, you cut that piece of shit out of your life!

[@akl2k7]

@@nvfury13 Easier said than done since they were married.

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

Story 1: OP should drop his gf like a bad habit. She doesn't deserve an apology for being honest. It sucks that she went through issues with her parents, but that's not OP's fault. She really needs to deal with that.

[@yozarahirvi4750]

in the update, she seems realy and genuinely apologetic and is actually trying to deal with her issues, she's trying to do and be better for OP I think she may deserve a second chance (and OP seems to think alike) to me, this event was a wake up call for her and she'll be more supportive of OP's illness' now if in the future, the pattern repeat even once : instant dumping (and I hope she doesn't become hypochondriac too after being shocked like this)

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

@@yozarahirvi4750 No, what she is doing is lovebombing. He was the one hurt but she needs reassurances. She doesn't let him get the chance to speak or the space to think. She cares more about her reputation. And when his brother wanted compensation, she changed the topic. She hasn't changed. She just doesn't want to be the bad guy.

[@yozarahirvi4750]

@@scorpiocarnage1055 well, you may be right, I want to be hopeful though

[@sonialinsey8083]

@Yozara Hirvi please be careful in life, you sound so naïve.

[@yozarahirvi4750]

@@sonialinsey8083 because I want to be hopeful ? I just want to see the best in humans, don't worry about me

[@sallynguyen4403]

Oh my god, the update is not only infuriating, it's a whole red flag! The love bombing that she laid in on him and the constant asking for reassurances from OP. Holy shit. Why is the victim in this situation the one to reassure her here?? That's insane. She doesn't give him any space to actually think about what he actually wants and constantly bombards him with her presence. It's so unhealthy and incredibly manipulative.

[@uma4158]

That's the point. If she gave him just a moment to think, he would realize what a horrible person she is. Can't have that.

[@ronhall5395]

Just the fact that she asked for help from her therapist to figure out what to say to get you back is enough for me to toss her out. That sucks. Love bombing is disgusting. I would go very slow with this one. Make sure she is really changing.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

The exact term I was thinking with this garbage of her staying the whole weekend, glued to his side. That is not someone who is contrite or even listens to what OP says.

[@TsukiKageTora]

And him telling her he needs space but there she was at his house planning that with her therapist she never went to to get over her childhood issues and promises to fix them. The heck you going to a therapist for? She has to be one of the reddest manipulation flags ever

[@paulclay4229]

Or she was genuinely sorry, and having being raised by entirely broken parents has deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms. She, after speaking to her psychologist totally dropped her request for an apology. Hopefully nobody in your life ever needs compassion. Thankfully OP is doing the adult thing of watching out for the behaviour recurring.

[@CensorshipVictim]

Story 1 NTA: I dated a person like this and it almost killed me. I had pneumonia and one night I spiked a 104.5 fever and my lungs were 75% full of fluid (found out after x-rays). I begged him to take me to the hospital, but his video games were more important. He finally got tired of my begging and called his mom (an RN) who came over and tried to say that I was fine, but I had gotten ahold of the house phone and called 911. My ex and his mom tried to prevent them from taking me because they felt that it was more important that I "worked" (ex was a unemployed leech) than go to the hospital. I was put on a ventilator for 2 months and even years later I have scarring on my lungs and use an inhaler.

[@Jiminphoria]

wow that's awful. Im so sorry that happened to you. Shame on his mother! As a RN you'd think she'd know better 🙄

[@CensorshipVictim]

@@Jiminphoria you'd think, but all she cared about was me financially supporting her baby boy. My dad (ex-military) broke up with him on my behalf. Apparently my dad showed up with some of his VFW buddies at my exes house and my dad still won't tell me what happened, but I never heard from my ex or his mother again.

[@Jiminphoria]

@@CensorshipVictim Goodness, what an awful woman. youd think she'd of taught her son to be self sufficient. I'm so glad your dad was there for you. Sounds like he likely taught them a lesson.

[@CensorshipVictim]

@@Jiminphoria my dad is an ex marine

[@mindyschocolate]

@@CensorshipVictim your dad is freaking awesome!!!! Your ex and his lousy mom are losers and mommy can be the one to support him.

[@demontoaster5670]

Husband is a veteran, I was in a nasty car wreck a few years ago. I couldn't imagine leaving him at home SPITEFULLY if he was so much as asking- let alone borderline begging for me to stay because "something is wrong". When a man says something is wrong, alot of the time I find it's because they're scared in some way. Disgusting of anyone who's able to do something like this..

[@uncutfandu3179]

the update seemed like minor gas lighting and major love bombing so that he couldn’t properly decide if he wants to stay together. Especially given she seemingly had her own list saying what him leaving her would be a mistake for him

[@itsjustmaddisen]

She sounds really controlling. That’s what abusers do to their victims.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

I gave (vaginal) birth to twins. I was in labor for 22 hours. My daughter was second, and breach, so the had to turn her while still in utero. The pain was excruciating. However, it was nothing compared to the kidney stone I had to pass. Also, my doctor said to me "be happy you aren't a man, because a kidney stone is twice as bad for them!"

[@bbjjbb61]

Yes! OMG. I was just saying in another comment how giving birth to 4 kids was nothing compared to the agony of an itty-bitty kidney stone.

[@Undomaranel]

You two are lucky then. Not every woman gives birth as easy, nor bounces back. Pain is pain, but it's relative. Just like how one woman doesn't really feel cramps but another is doubled over for a week? Like that. If kidney stones were worse for you, that's your experience, but it's not textbook and should not be given as the gospel truth.

[@AFAskygoddess]

If your doctor said passing a kidney stone is twice as hard for a man, I'd bet my last dollar that your doctor is a man. Such a d!ckhead thing to say. You only know a level of pain if you have, yourself, experienced it.

[@c18888]

I had a 17 mm kidney stone along with a bunch of small ones. It took 5 lithotripsy treatments to make them small enough to pass, and took a year. I had a stint for 6-7 months. Why is it worse for a guy? Well you usually pass stones from your bladder at the end of urinating, when there isn’t enough pee to expel it so you have a jagged shard in your wiener until you can pee next time, and if you try too soon you won’t remove it.

[@Undomaranel]

@@c18888 By that description a better comparison for women would be getting a bottle cap or something else stuck up in tampon land yet having to pass it with discharge only. Either way, still painful and still relative, because some people like you get caltraps and jacks while others experience balbearings and cooperative flow. I'm still not going to tell the woman who got fissures and anal tears after passing a cantaloupe sized baby over 30+ hours of labor that passing a lugnut is oh so much worse, because it's all relative. Also, healing times and ability to use your junk matter afterwards, and women don't ever truly get a break from anything down there related. Some dude gets a sore member from a stone he's traumatized but back in action a few days later on his schedule. But women? Griped at and moaned at if we so much as took a constipated dump and everything's sore, let alone cramps, cysts, birth, and, oh yeah, kidney stones too. So sure, men have a greater distance to clear with jagged kidney stones, and lack a comparison so it's a bigger pain by default. Women? Variable... because all we ever experience thanks to having the load out we do is constant, fluctuating pain and random cramping and twinges and stabbing pains and burning infections and was that a UTI or yeast infection and hubby wants some while we're ready to puke... It's all relative, but you don't get sympathy from me for one life event when women's lives are constant pain, on top of other chores and stressors. We might not be out building muscle and risking life the same way men do, and power to the men who do, but last time a man is ill 25% of the time and not in control of his emotions he gets terminated for not being reliable. Women still have to work through all of that while being weaker, and even when we do navigate it flawlessly we're still badgered while cramping and bleeding and passing clots while some jerk is making sexist comments. Oh, and the whole motherhood thing too. So when you experience a loogie or tonsil stone in your load along with swelling and body pains one week of every month, then we can gripe about event pain being comparable or whatever. Until then a kidney stone might be more painful than childbirth foe some, but stack the amount of times women have cramps and birth and get stones of top of it and there's not much but pity I can give toward men who have no other reference for genital pain.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

r/relationship redditors reeeally need to learn what a good relationship is. Every single post starts with "our relationship is great" and then the craziest most absurd shit you've ever heard happens next

[@JordanDragonAs]

True but they think that Is love.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

@@JordanDragonAs it's really sad tbh

[@eliashuapilla]

I'm starting to think that they're the internets' equivalent of "Florida Man".

[@tom-qj6uw]

I believe it is because they come fron a dysfunctional family (and there is an abundance of them) and that is simply their 'normal'. Coming from a dysfunctional family myself I needed at least a decade or so to figure out what is healthy communication and behavior and what is not. Note: dysfunctional does not (necessarily) mean abusive. My parents were traumatized as children and in a way never got over it. They were not bad people, they just were messed up themselves.

[@eliashuapilla]

@@tom-qj6uw that's true.

[@marykme]

In the 1st story, OP's girlfriend definitely needs counselling. I think of her future children and if, God forbid, one of them gets seriously ill, worry she wouldn't be able to recognize it and seek treatment.

[@owl7072]

I wouldn't even trust her with a cactus

[@LunaP1]

I was thinking the same thing. If she had a kid and said kid got severely ill while at school, she'd pick them up from school and take them home just to ground them for "faking being sick". Then a few hours later, her kid is on the floor not breathing. She still thinks they're faking it until she feels their body and realize they are cold. The crazy twat would end up in prison for murder because she refused to take her kid to the hospital when the school nurse told her to do so.

[@marykme]

@@LunaP1 Yes, that's the fear. Let's hope the counselling she's getting will help her with this.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Story 1: it's more dangerous than just 'oops I wasn't there for your medical issue', It's excessively dangerous to the point of gaslighting attempting to get you to ignore your own bodies warning signs & pains. OP literally had pain that rivels most any survival-able event people can normally have outside medical only started procedures, and she's gaslight OP into being so embarrassed as to not even call an ambulance.. X.x Seriously, that was a warning sign... she was & likely is never going to take your serious when you say that you're hurting and will make your injuries 1000 fold worse & even introducing life threatening elements when they where issues that could have been avoided otherwise. NTA, and dump her like radioactive waste. That update though... I may be a bit among the weeds, but that's sus. Seriously, she's a danger to be around. a simple back sprain that all you'd need to do is relax and rest will turn into massive injuries, and if she doesn't let you rest & won't stop bitching, or guilts you into continuing to stress your body with it... it can turn near crippling if you rip the wrong muscles and pinch the wrong nerve, doing damage that never should have been done.

[@tifadreamers]

I'm going to guess that he wrote the update while he's still recovering and basically just wanted to get over with everything that was going down. not to mention she didn't really give him the space he needed to think properly and ambushed him with a long ass apology her therapist coached her to write. she still needs a lot of work cause I don't see any signs of her being naturally caring or if she really understands her mistakes, just that she was wrong 'this time'. that part where she said it would be "a mistake to dump her" part rubbed me the wrong way too. sure, if you're a teenager and under different circumstances, that might sound cute, but that one rang an alarm bell in my head. at least OP said he's going to be watchful so hopefully he's going about it more cautiously now. I'd say the relationship is practically over tho. she's definitely not ready to be with someone

[@impishrebel5969]

You hit on exactly why people with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome don't get diagnosed until mid-life. Nobody will believe you're in pain and something's wrong because you're physically "whole" to the naked eye until something finally breaks irrepairably.

[@LunaP1]

She not only needs therapy, she needs to get her head examined. She's au par with anti-vaxxers/anti-maskers with her insanely dismissive notions about real illnesses. Ex gf will not change and always think people are out to hurt her.

[@Daniko2]

Absolutely. She's incredibly dangerous to be around, and I think the Redditors are massively underestimating how much. Not only did she ignore him when he was in agonizing pain, but a whole lot of the most serious medical issues have really subtle early warning signs. If he's already letting her convince him to distrust his own instincts about his body, it could very easily kill or permanently disable him. Also, I get that not every relationship is headed for the altar, but if someone doesn't even have your back when you're medically vulnerable, what's the point of calling it a relationship at all? Even most FWB's or one-nighters would have enough compassion stick around long enough to make the 911 call.

[@johnrobinson6449]

With my first kidney stone, the pain was so terrible I thought I was going to die. A couple of hours later was hoping I WOULD die.

[@Dragonemperess]

Fi- First?! Holy crap I'm so sorry!

[@bbjjbb61]

Oh yeah! It's insanely painful. I've given birth 4 times and a tiny little kidney stone took me out. I'll never forget when the nurse (I think she thought I was faking) passed by my room and saw me pacing and tears running down my face and FINALLY got me some potent pain meds. She apologized to me because it was around the time doctors were really not willing to give out pain meds because there was a crack down. Anyway, I hope to never experience that shit again.

[@nvfury13]

Sounds like the end of my pain scale “I *hope* it knocks me out or kills me” is my 10 on the pain scale. Whereas things that have had ER doctors asking me “How are you conscious and talking?” are a six.

[@sandhermit3665]

Gallstones are bad, too. The pains are every bit as bad as child birth but you don't get the breaks between contractions. I imagine kidney stones would be the same.

[@dsm4462]

I just got of the hospital with kidney stones, omg it’s painful! Hubby was holding my hand the whole time. Also had shingles at the same time. It was difficult, so happy I have a supportive husband. Drink water everyone! Stay well.

[@FormCreator]

Oh ew sorry you had to go thru that. Glad you had someone there for you ☺️

[@catandrobbyflores]

Eesh! Double whammy! Hope you're feeling better.

[@WobblesandBean]

I've had a kidney stone. I have also had my appendix burst, AND hemorrhagic endometriosis. The kidney stone was by far the worst pain of all of them.

[@S_K23]

Oh my god. Kidney stones and shingles at the same time?!?! I cannot imagine how much pain you must have been in. Hope you are ok now.

[@Bronte-on6tm]

I've had shingles and I am horrified that you had kidney stones at the same time. You poor thing, I am so glad that you are recovered.

[@MsTemptation]

S2: Whoa. I’m glad that she waited and found something better instead of quitting to work as a barista. She found a better paying company with better benefits and it seems to meet her needs. I wish her luck at her new company. Sometimes people experience work burn out. It happens. But you should never throw out the baby with the bath water. Just take a breath and a more rational answer will always come to you.

[@JordanDragonAs]

My funny thing is she is indian

[@lucyhearts472]

To be honest I envy her.

[@immortalsofar5314]

Many people have to rebuild bridges in their career, either because their nominal retirement worth is suddenly thrashed when the economy tanks or because raising chickens on an anarchist commune doesn't cover a sudden change in circumstances.

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

🤔 wonder if she wants to adopt a grandma 😉😂😂😂

[@Ma5jay5dontxdoxthat]

Tbf i dont think shed hate working at Starbucks. Its just an annoying job, but it isnt that hard (coming from a former barista), and the people who enjoyed it the most was usually the ones who didnt need the money, just needed the insurance or needed somethknf to do. One of the stores I worked from the 10+ years employees were the ones who were those people.

[@ShaunCushley97]

Kidney stones are no joke. My dad had them a few years back. He's a tough bloke. Only ever seen him cry twice in his life and never really complained much about any ailment or illness. But when he got them he was writhing in agony and threw up he was in so much pain. It probably sounds a bit weird, but I'd always seen my dad as this invincible pillar of strength and seeing him laid low like that really brought home the fact that he was just a man. That was pretty scary, because even though I was an adult at the time, I still thought of him as untouchable.

[@TT-fy6hk]

it doesn't matter how old (adult) you are, they are forever your parents and you look at them for strenght and comfort. I feel like that too and idk what I will do when something happens to them.. they are quite old already. Every child who has great parents feel like this.

[@Ax-xo4ux]

And kidney stones- if untreated- can cause infections and even death. It’s no fucking joke. The pain is on bar with labor contractions! Like- you want to know labor contractions? Kidney stones. But kidney stones don’t give a break

[@HackiePuffs]

This girlfriend has no reason to believe that OP is lying. Her parents yeah but you’re not her parents. She abandoned you when you could have been dying and she now has the audacity to demand that you apologize for getting mad at her?? Yeah she would NOT take the “in sickness and health” vow seriously. Dump her like a dump truck. Edit: idk her saying that it would be a “mistake to dump her” kinda rubs me the wrong way I’d be cautious going forward. Open but cautious.

[@mimiNana-yi4cy]

the fact she was more concerned with preventing him from dumping her was a massive red flag.

[@sadtitties222]

@@mimiNana-yi4cy Exactly! A truly sorry person would be more accepting of the fact that they will probably be dumped (and rightfully so) and make the necessary changes in their life, but not just for the hope of not being dumped. She is only concerned with saving face and having a boyfriend, not actually sorry for being a negectful and apathetic partner. 😑

[@ettinakitten5047]

Unless you actively work to change this, the parent-child relationship you grew up with forms the blueprint for your default expectations and beliefs in any close relationship, rational or not. It totally makes sense that she'd generalize from her parents lying about illness to assume that everyone lies about illness.

[@jaymel4691]

Yeah. And it was nothing but more disrespect afterwards- he asked her not to come over, she did anyway and camped out until he got home! And then overcompensating with the love bombing! I could never trust her again after this and her later actions would just make me more sure of my decision to break up. Also, she's supposedly in therapy but still apparently treats her BF like this whenever he's been sick before this? I have to wonder if she even has a therapist. Any decent therapist would have been working with her trust issues to help her recognize that other people aren't like her parents, and when her BF says he's ill and needs her help then he actually means it.

[@elsajones6325]

Creepy love bombing. She'll do it again. But some people have to have that turmoil

[@evelynberrios8164]

That girl has serious issues! She needs counseling! I’m glad you have support and went to the doctor. You have the right to be angry.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Story 1: I’ve had conversations with friends before. People have thought they were faking being sick for attention when they we’re actually sick. They didn’t have a history of being a liar, no more than anyone else. So why there were rumours about them faking it didn’t make a lot of sense to me. Some people just want to see the worst in people. I know in this situation, his girlfriend had been lied to before about this, so I understand her perspective is different. But why date someone if you’re just going to mistrust them. If you don’t trust each other, break up. Every time he gets sick again, will she think he’s lying? Will her behaviour change or will she just dismiss this as an outlier? Story 2: If OP has enough money and has invested it etc and can afford to go part time, why not? Sure, there’s a chance it doesn’t work out. But who the heck cares.

[@Feynix4]

And what if they have kids? Will she dismiss they like that too? Kids get sick all the time, they’re little germ machines, will she just blow them off too? Nah, she needs major therapy and if it were me, idk if I would be able to trust her again

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@Feynix4 yeah. But in the update, she has stated she’s talking to her therapist about this. This is a red flag, but if he wants to give her a second chance, he can. People (mostly) are capable of change. It may not work out in the end. But it’s not necessarily the end of the world. If she doesn’t change or only pretends to, then end it.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

You don't understand how a simple strain can turn you into a cripple if you force it, and it's 'ok' till it's really not. It can turn a weakened heart into heart failure. a stomach bug can turn into crippling internal bleeding. a overtight muscle attachment can lead to ripping muscles & even ripping ligments off of the joints. These are all subtle 'you can still function with a mild pain killer, if you take it easy' kind of things that can ruin your life if you don't lay out the initially small injuries. This is nothing compared to VERY serious internal injuries, that can turn deadly or life crippling if left to continue. This also ignores the massive amounts of childhood issues that will cripple a person for life if left un-attended. This is also not addressing the far trickier hit & miss things.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

@@swearimnotarobot3746 Honestly, I personally could never trust that she'd believe me. Unless OP had a history of lying or exagerating risks or issues.... She literally as gaslight him into being ashamed to even call 911 when that level of pain was being ripped on his insides. If she had a therapist.. why the hell did it take this long to deal with, and it just might be proof that she won't change & this is only 'I'm sorry I was wrong', not 'I'm sorry I didn't believe you' She ambushed him, never gave him any space, and is acting like this only because 'she was wrong', not because he really could use someone to help take the load off when shit hit the fan.

[@flowerjpotter1629]

@@DePhoegonIsle Yes, it seems like she doesn't know how to naturally care.

[@low-keydrama1260]

Here’s my motto for in the chance you think someone is faking illness/injury/allergy: keep it to yourself, don’t make a fuss over it and just go comply with whatever medical assistance they need. Because if they are NOT faking it, you’ll just feel like a jerk rather than have other people see you as one. But if they ARE faking it, then the truth may somehow come out and people will see them as a jerk. Like I said keep it to yourself and do NOT try to do anything to expose them if you feel or believe they are faking. I say this because Ik there are stories where people fake injuries/illnesses and cry for help but immediately use the “it’s not really a big deal as I said it was” excuse or are exposed when you do take/give them medical assistance. But I also know people who are not faking it, cry for help, and turns out they did need that medical assistance Like I said, I’d rather beat myself up over thinking someone was faking then have risk actual harm and have everyone see me as an ah

[@kbf9644]

A+ for functional adulting.

[@lunanight2151]

Story 1: there are so many red flags. The last straw would be her ignoring him telling her he did not want her there, but her still showing up. She trample right over that boundary. At least for me asking for space means no contact until I reach out to you to talk about the issue. Yet she purposely ignored that and futher stayed to prevent him from sorting out his feelings with out her presence.

[@TheIronwil]

Story 1: This was my mother. She was a raging narcissist, so that explains to a degree - she had almost zero empathy for anyone else but herself. I was never allowed to be in pain. To her I was “being melodramatic”. One instance was after a bike accident and I was bleeding freely from my scrotum. She still packed me up and took me to visit her friend, and one of the friend’s sons kicked me between the legs when they found out I was hurt. My mother acted like I was just being a baby. NEVER TOLERATE THIS from anyone. If OP had a history of making things up I could understand, but that wasn’t part of the story. To simply treat every injury and illness like they’re fake is poison in any partnership. Lose her.

[@BenKonosky]

Kidney stones are no joke. I had one many many moons ago, before they figured out how to bust them up with sound. They went in there to bust it up, using the existing opening to go up in there to crush and extract it.

[@Dragonemperess]

Ouch!

[@BenKonosky]

@@Dragonemperess at least they didn't have far to go in my case.

[@PeterShipley1]

my wife had the same attitude about illness, every time something happened to me she accused me of being "man sick".. I once walked in the house and collapsed of heat exhaustion after working on the roof, I didn't get off the floor for a good 5-10 minutes, the time it took for my core temperature to drop, at which point she told me I was faking it..

[@PeterShipley1]

I once got shot in the eye by my son's friend using a modified nerf rifle. luckily I had my glasses on. and when I say shot I mean I was hit so hard I had a black eye in the shape of the lens of my glasses. my wife laughed at me as I laid on the floor screaming telling me to stop faking it and pretending to be "man sick"

[@julianne089]

It really is a form of abuse :(

[@dm9078]

She apparently needs a better therapist. But dude this was just love bombing. Like what a cheater does after they are caught. But it’s his life. CostCo!

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

I grew up with a mother like the girlfriend in story one. I absolutely could not forgive her because the damage from that kind of bullshit doesn't just magically go away, nor does the trust really come back. I struggle with actual hypochondriacs too, but there's no way I would behave like THAT towards anyone, let alone a partner who has never exhibited hypochondria or medical anxiety. And kidney stones hurt like a bitch, I've had renal colic and it's awful. I'm *still* trying to undo the damage of being told I was never sick when I was, and I'm in my mid-40s now. She was always calling me a hypochondriac, that I was faking everything, that I just wanted attention, that I was exaggerating, that I just wanted to get out of school etc. *Some examples of the things I was supposedly exaggerating and/or faking: * A broken wrist. Strep throat (that was ignored long enough to develop into scarlet fever). An exposed nerve from a broken tooth. A dental abscess. Several years of asthma attacks before diagnosis. Two severe asthma attacks that required hospital treatment. An ankle ligament and Achilles tendon injury that came close to needing surgery when it physically wouldn't bear weight because it was so unstable and worsened by weeks of no treatment (apparently, I just wanted crutches because of cause those full-depth blisters across the palms of my hands were SO much fun). Abscesses forming under my arms and in my groin for 5 years (a chronic skin condition called hidradenitis that I'm still dealing with 30 years later). Every bout of gastroenteritis, colds, tonsillitis etc, where I would be sent to school with a fever, vomiting, etc. Carbon monoxide poisoning (that was only real when my father got sick too). A chest infection so severe that my lung capacity was around 40% of normal and needed weeks of antibiotics and steroids to clear (after being left for over a week and told to "take cough medicine"). Years of severe abdominal, back and pelvic pain from undiagnosed endometriosis (and then more dismissal even when it was diagnosed). Being sent to school with rubella (at least twice). Being told I needed to see a psych when I was crying about the endless attacks of cystitis I was getting (turns out I have interstitial cystitis, a form of chronic non-bacterial cystitis). And this was all before I was 20. Meanwhile my sibling, the ACTUAL faking, exaggerating, attention-seeking one (my sibling admitted all of this out loud to multiple people)? Oh, my mother believes every damn word.

[@Ax-xo4ux]

HOW DO YOU IGNORE A BROKEN WRIST- HOW. WTH. Im so sorry you went through that

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

@@Ax-xo4ux Oh, it wasn't SWOLLEN enough or BRUISED enough or bent at 45 degrees or some shit, I guess. I genuinely have no idea. It wouldn't have been so bad if she treated my sibling the same way but nope. Just me. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I appreciate them.

[@darkmask5933]

OP in story 2 learned a very important career lesson, sometimes the only way to keep growing in your industry is to jump ship and change companies. Many places have a firm ceiling as to how much they will ever provide someone through promotions, yet oftentimes they'd offer so much more to bring someone new, it's a crooked system. OP was in a rare position to be able to safely change companies without risking their finances, glad they realized that!

[@strawberrysangria1474]

I wouldn't stay with someone who treated me like that, but after the update it sounds like she's genuinely apologetic. However, relationships can't be fixed with love-bombing and apologies. She has to continue proving that she's in for the full ride, sickness and health, and stays in counselling for her trauma. I hope OP continues to put his health first. He may want to test the water and bring up whenever there's a small issue like having a headache. How people react to small problems is telling for how they'll react to bigger ones. Some of her actions still have me worried this is a show.

[@judev3197]

1st story: you don’t owe her an apology, not even for what you said to her. No no no! You could have died. So what if she had a bad childhood, lots of us did. I’m so pissed off for you. I’m not finished with your update yet but I don’t care how it ends, I still stand by that you don’t owe her an apology. I’m so happy you’re ok OP.

[@Gymtoshi]

I’d be worried what kind of mom she plans to be. She could end up getting her kids killed by not believing them I had a parent like this, he didn’t believe me when I said my back was hurting and I was pressured to continue sports. Went to a back specialist years later and it turns out I fractured my back in two places. Doing sports on it for as long as I did nearly broke it all the way through; if it had it would have cut my spinal cord and I’d be paralysed right now. They said it was a miracle I’m not. Don’t be that parent

[@kalishiva18]

As someone that's been through the mentality of the gf, as a child. No one knows what type of pain I am in because of the "you're fine" mentality. Over 30 years of pain. So, if she don't get the help needed, she will, I repeat, will do more damage then good.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP went from wanting to work part-time at a customer service job to switching to another job in her current field. Very interesting

[@Spooky.Pookie]

Oh my god. I had just gotten to work one day and was bent over in pain and I couldn't move so one of my bosses had to drive me to the clinic. The clinic sent me to the emergency room because they were afraid my appendix burst or something. They wanted a pee sample and I just couldn't go and ended up throwing up instead because of the pain. When I get to the hospital they take a CT scan and see a kidney stone in one of my kidneys. It was just small enough for me to be able to pass it on my own so they filled me up with fluids and my face got all puffy but I still couldn't pee. So I waited a few days and eventually it came out. They scanned both my kidneys and said that there's no evidence of any more and less than 2 months later, I had another one, the same size, in my other kidney. It was awful. Turns out that the place I lived at the time had well water and the guy renting me the room wasn't treating the water. The water was brown.. after I moved out, I've had no issues ever since.

[@flowerjpotter1629]

Oh my goodness, how awful. Glad you're ok now.

[@truthseeker9249]

As if I needed more reasons not to trust tap water!!! I am so sorry.

[@Spooky.Pookie]

@@truthseeker9249 the tap water in the area was fine. It's because we were on well water and he wasn't treating it. So with showering, brushing teeth, going dishes, etc., it was doing damage to my body.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@Spooky.Pookie 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Still we've had experience with bad tap water. It was orange when we first moved into our last apartment. So we didn't drink tap water unless we boiled it first. I still do that now because I'm just too paranoid about poisonous tap water. In fact I only drink bottled water I buy from the store. I know plastic is bad for the environment but that's why they should just eradicate the plastic and do all glass bottles.

[@LunaP1]

@@truthseeker9249 I don't blame you. I gave my brother and aunt a water filter for their apartment. No thanks to the assholes who were doing pipe construction that caused most of the block to have bad water (still going on). Me and my cousin (my aunt's daughter) buy them bottled water too when they need it.

[@recycledapathy7411]

I think it's adorably naive that OP in the second story thinks that part time baristas at Starbucks get any benefits, much less paid health insurance.

[@TarisLuna]

Pain in the kidneys are the worst. Never had kidney stones, but a bladder infection that was on its way to my kidneys when detected. It hurt so bad, I cried out for my mom to knock me out with a frying pan. Had two kids since then and even though giving birth is a pain that I can not describe, kidney pain still tops that (barely, but still).

[@FoxValley123]

My mom had kidney stones once when I was a kid, she is one of the strongest women I know, so seeing her curled up on her side and sobbing was disconnecting as hell. I thought she was dying and kept asking her if she needed a ambulance. The gf needs to keep up with therapy and working on her trust issues because what if something truly horrible comes along like cancer? Will she not believe op and call him a liar?

[@SerbAtheist]

There is a really toxic idea in modern day western society, and that is that men can never be angry or upset, even for completely legitimate reasons. To abandon your partner when they are in serious pain and then gaslight them by demanding an apology for, completely justifiably, being yelled at, is beyond disgusting.

[@Neakco]

Story 2: OP needs to save up to buy a farm in a tiny town that their grandpa used to live/work in

[@moogie1954]

I've had kidney stones a few times and the pain IS worse than labor (I've had two sons). My last one, I didn't have any pain... and the stone grew HUGE! It blocked my kidney and I developed septicemia (Blood poisoning). I just thought that I had the flu from hell that just wouldn't go away. My son found me unable to get out of bed and running a very high fever and called an ambulance. 5 days in the hospital and about 2 gallons of IV antibiotics, followed by surgery to save my kidney and I've recovered nicely (this was in June). My doctor told me that if I had waited a couple more days, I probably wouldn't have made it! I'm glad my son ignored my stubbornness and got me help!

[@heidiandhergoatsl2618]

I once knew a Vietnam vet, who had been shot at one time, and has a kidney stone at one time. He said he'd rather be shot again than ever have another kidney stone.

[@claytonpeterson468]

First story, I've had gallstone attack, it was so painful I couldn't scream or walk. And a friend who was a surgical nurse said her gallstone attack was worse than when she went through natural labor.

[@earcher]

Oh man, I had a kidney stone once and legitimately thought I was dying of kidney failure. It was an incredibly painful experience, I can't imagine how hurtful it would be to feel abandoned by your partner at such a vulnerable time. I'm glad the girlfriend seemed to realize that she messed up BIG TIME.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Last story: I agree it was an interesting different take. But yeah, having worked part-time in a supermarket I much prefer working a full-time office job. It did wonders for my mental health not having to deal with customers all day.

[@HonorWillow]

Story 1: girlfriend's actions (not even just that night but every time he was sick) could be described as emotionally abusive. OP was also suffering so much that after she had done that on top of the pain I don't think he can be blamed for saying horrible things to her. Trauma is not an excuse to take things out on your partner. Considering he was struggling to breathe, he could have died and she could know that if she wasn't ableist (as saying someone is lying is) without knowing that it was kidney stones

[@protoskeeper]

Story 1: I think either if she was remoresful or not this would have been the end for my relationship, I personally could never recover from something like that since I already have had issues with my parents and doctors not believing me (the former of which for example resulted in me living with a broken arm for a week before seeing a doc and the latter of which resulted in me having to do an emergency surgery or I would have lost the nerves in my left leg).

[@evelynberrios8164]

Last story: Find the job that fulfills you and you look forward to go to. There is nothing worse than working in a job you hate. Perhaps you can open your own business. It appears your job brings good money. You quit your job and got a better one so, your skills are highly marketable. Start doing something you love for yourself on the weekends. Start a new hobby, go on line and meet like minded people. I did that and being new to the area met a lot of people who also wanted to do what I like. I also did new things with the group. I’m thankful I met them. Good luck. Life is too short to be unhappy.

[@stephaniet1389]

Kidney stones are no joke. They are not only painful but can also lead to sepsis. Thankfully, I have never had them, but folks close to me have, and it was scary.

[@maddy4362]

I’m glad story 1 worked out the way it did, I’m sure that was a major wake-up call for her

[@ladyoblivious]

I really feel for op in story 2, unfortunately I do the warehouse kind of job, but I swear they trick you with the recruitment. They tell you it's one thing, prepare you for it and then it ends up being something completely different. Unstable schedules and backbreaking work, sure I can go home and forget about it, but then as the day winds down and gets closer to the next I realize that I have to go back again. Honestly depresses the crapolla out of me on the daily. Like op I'm so ready to get out, unfortunately I suck at interviews because of my social anxiety.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - OP should ask her to let him come to one of her sessions with the therapist, and be able to ask questions and get replies to those questions from her therapist, to find out if she has actually changed or that the therapist told her what to do to save the relationships, because she has not changed and is still exactly the same unsympathetic gf who will continue to let him suffer alone.

[@Davtwan]

If her past trumps her trust, then she needs more than an apology and hyper-attention to OP. She needs to start working on herself too.

[@hibiscusrose6074]

Story 1 this woman will become the opposite of her not believing to standing over him as soon as he sneezes or coughs

[@WobblesandBean]

I just brought my boyfriend to the ER because he sliced open his thumb cutting onions. He kept trying to downplay the wound, but I insisted. He needed 4 stitches to close it up. I can't imagine him being in agonizing pain and just LEAVING him like that!

[@khaleesireyna731]

So, I've been in a somewhat similar, yet different situation growing up as the OPs gf. My parents weren't hypochondriacs, but they pretty much ALWAYS dismissed my feelings and if they could get away with it, they'd dismiss pain/illness. I've had chronic migraines since I was 8 years old. My mother wouldn't even allow me to take aspirin and just told me to tell myself I don't have a headache (that, funny enough, did not work and I also got yelled at for throwing up in the shower once... due to said migraines). I had difficulty maintaining focus growing up: I could sit still, sure, but I also talked a lot and could easily lose focus on what I needed to because I'd be off in my own head. I'd forget things, forget tasks, and I'd be told i needed to focus harder. I spent 2.5 decades feeling like an idiot... turns out, I have ADHD. Now, with my experience, I find myself minimizing my own pain/illness until I absolutely can't anymore and I've caught myself being dismissive when someone complains about pain/illness but they "look" fine. I've learned tho and I've called myself out on that crap and I do my damndest to be empathetic. It's not easy, but I really do hope this was the wake-up call OPs gf needed. Only time will tell.

[@hotrodmercury3941]

I remember my family saying I was "fine" and "not sick" when I have pneumonia, Covid and exhaustion sickness. My body was literally fighting with every fiber of it's being to survive. It was cold and rainy, I had worked 16 hour days non stop since the start of covid. I remember coworkers dropping like flies. I got onto one of our vehicles wheezing like a 85 year old man. My coworker begged me to go to the hospital. When I told my mother, who had lost her job from breaking her hip. Meaning I was the only person to work for the entire family. She told me I was fine and shouldn't call off work. I figured it would be fine to sleep in the car for another night. It was very cold that night, so when I bundled up and got my camping set up ready. I struggled to sleep, choking. I sat up and was gasping for air. Literally thought I was going to die. The fever was so strong, I was sweating with the weather being 40 F. I slowly worked my way up to the front of my car. Started it and put it in drive. I drove around all over the road for a hour. Having told my mom I would meet her at the hospital. Man those doctors looked terrified. I was officially the first person to have a double lung issue. I still have scarring on my lungs to this day. They made me critical condition saying the combination of pneumonia, Covid, exhaustion, workplace air hazards and quality were practically killing me. I took two weeks off to rest and recoup. My family wouldn't even bring me a glass of water, only my brother did when he was worried I hadn't left my room in two days. After those two days, he would bring me water. But I would down the mug and beg for more. No food, just water. Eventually he would bring me a literal bowl of water, then a pitcher. I would swallow it all down in seconds. Then I would sleep a few more hours and do it all over again. By the 5th day the hunger hit me, so he would have me drink soup..which I couldn't bother stomaching the idea of solid food. I wanted broth, water and sleep.

[@ashleyyoung796]

Did the doctors talked to your parents about your sickness?🤔 I'm just worried, that's all.🙁

[@numpty7750]

First story. My mum was a hypochondriac who was telling me she was dying from at least when I was the age of six. But I was never believed if I said I was ill, if it was an undeniable illness she was angry and really horrible to me, telling me she was much sicker than me, and however ill I was it was nothing compared to how ill she was. It was like it was some weird competition. I ended up in hospital 3 times because she wouldn’t believe I was ill, twice in intensive care, once with meningitis, and once when my bowel burst.

[@j.scottvanlester4584]

I used to have a thing were I regularly got kidney stones. It sucked and no one cared. Can totally feel for this dude. I'd probably demand some super absurd penance just to find out how serious she is about forgiveness. A huge betrayal requires a huge proof of change.

[@guywhowatchesvideos-z2e]

Story 1 - short of it is, some people are more open to giving second chances. These people are worth respect, and should be seen - at times - endearing. Though these people are more easily taken advantage of, it shows the integrity of their heart

[@katecooper3410]

Story 1 NTA. I have trauma myself, so I can see where gf is coming from. That being said; her trauma isn't her fault, but her triggers, healing, and reactions ARE her responsibility. She needs to get it through her head that not everyone are hypochondriacs like her parents

[@LoriCrabtree31]

Severe, hereditary sufferer of kidney stones, working on number 1,078 right now. I have 2 children and have had 10 major surgeries in my life, including a complete hysterectomy, old school, cut open, and kidney stones are the worst pain ever. My tolerance is so high right now for pain, it's unreal. Just hope my kids never go through this.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 1: Big marinara flag. Frankly, you SHOULD dump her. She's utterly lacking in empathy, and you deserve better. P.S. Screw Reddit for saying he owes her an apology. No he doesn't, he was 100% justified!

[@Jessidafennecfox]

Right, her love bomb apologizes are useless

[@richardhopkinson7931]

Kidney stones are NO joke! Utter agony. Stays in hospital, morphine to numb the pain... even that doesn't stop the pain, only makes it more bearable!

[@notconvincedgranny6573]

A kidney stone can be as small as a grain of sand but feel like a damn boulder. Yep, three of those jokers landed me in the hospital for 4 days until they finally passed through. There was no position I could turn to, nothing I could do that would relieve the pain, morphine barely touched it. I gave birth to a 10# baby, and 10/10 would do that again than deal with kidney stones again.

[@BriarCraft74]

I can relate to the story of the OP wanting to quit her job. While I could never really save up a lot like they did, I worked the same position for seven years at a grocery store as a courtesy clerk. Over the years I had tried to ask to be moved to a different department, but people who were just hired as courtesy clerks were given those positions over me, I was always the one they called for the front only because I was the only one who actually went to do my job while everyone else hid in the back, verbally abused by customers occasionally, ect. Last year I got the chance to quit, had money for all of my rent and bills plus had to take time to help with family stuff anyway for a bit, and now I'm working at an office more or less. It's still very strange for me, but I feel so much better not having to deal with the store anymore. I wish the best for OP in their new job as well and anyone who chooses to change jobs.

[@randif.7793]

Lol I worked at Starbucks for 3 years and while it can be enjoyable if you get a cool crew the job brought out my inner rage I never knew I had so I'm very happy to not be working in customer service anymore 😅

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

My dad has had kidney stones at least twice in his life. The first time it was so bad he had to ask my grandmother (mom's mom) to drive him to the hospital. And NO ONE drove with Granny because she was a pretty reckless driver. That fact that she was under this belief that just because her parents were hypochondriacs that EVERYONE was a hypochondriac is just wild to me.

[@Abstract_flow]

I developed kidney stone at 14. It was one of the worst pains ever. I never really drank soda or sugary drinks since and I’m 35 yrs old now. I have sweet drinks like once every 6 months to a year. That was the biggest health scare ever, changed my life style completely and became fit 😂

[@jameslyons6655]

Story one. The fact that she feels she is owed an apology is an indication that she has learned nothing from this event, refuses to grow or evolve or be accountable and is certainly not someone you would want to have as a life partner. What happens if you are choking, burst an appendix, have a heart attack or stroke? Can she be a good mother? Doubtful. Real situations expose fake people. I’d jet.

[@UtopiaLtd]

I had a job I liked. It used my degrees and it was interesting. I busted my butt for years. Put in for promotion five years in a row and was turned down. Got tired of people with less education, less time with the company and poorer performance get promoted past me. Found an new job making the same salary, that I can do in my sleep. Just showing up, doing my job and collecting a pay cheque. Don’t want or care about promotion. Not falling for that carrot on the stick ever again.

[@PinkMarshmallows]

These comments that keep telling OP to apologize for what he said in anger, FUCK NO HE SHOULDN'T! OP has/had a right to be angry! I'd be damn furious if my husband left me like that. I'd find the strength to start throwing things and then tell him that if he walked out that door, then we are through. Luckily, my husband isn't like that. A few years ago he came home from work (and he was damn busy) when I texted him that I was having a hard time breathing and was having a panic attack.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

Exactly.

[@katphish30]

Literally every person I know who has both given birth and had kidney stones says kidney stones are much worse.

[@vSpade]

her therapist saved her from being dumped outright. who knows if she truly learned.

[@Staineless84]

I'm glad it worked out in story 1. People on reddit for the most part (there are always some good comments that do in there) have no sense of nuance. Gf didn't believe him, bad gf, dump her, light her up. Imagine growing up in a household with two hypochondriacs. One would be bad enough, but two? Telling you how sick they are all the time when nothing is wrong with them, telling you they are dying when they are fine, your entire childhood being like that. Imagine the mental toll, of course she didn't believe OP, she had been trained to not believe it. She genuinely seems to have gone through a reality check now and clearly cares for him. Those saying it's not enough need to learn to think.

[@ellorasg4525]

I would not be surprised if there is another update for story 1 where OP says they broke up.

[@leiliabug5240]

okay so i've had kidney stones on and off for years. the pain is excruciating, nothing you can do will help it except for painkillers, and strong ones at that. for someone to not believe you when you're in that much pain... i would break up too

[@MrBuns-yi2hk]

I remember waking up in excruciating pain and have to get my grandma to take me to the hospital. I told them I think I have appendicitis. Turns out I had appendicitis.

[@kendellcrombie6531]

I work at Trader Joe’s and I love it. It gives me that clock in clock out vibe, while also giving me the opportunity to grow in my company. And besides I wear a T-shirt and jeans to work every day I make crazy money to be putting things on shelves my benefits are wild. And getting time off to travel because I have the funds to do so is super easy.

[@MizTameRumors]

Had two kids, 6 broken ribs, toothache from an impacted wisdom tooth, covered in tattoo's, all the pains...And Kidney stones really is the worst.

[@VIDEOVISTAVIEW2020]

OP, Just divorce your girlfriend so she will learn her lesson. She has no emphaty and you deserve better.

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 - I think it is good OP was open to the sense Reddit gave. I hope the new job suits them better.

[@Swnsasy]

I would have been like look, I'm not your parents so do not treat me as such! I am my own person and I'm 100% honest with you. I'm tired of you not believing me and or even trying to have sympathy. I've had kidney stones and no, it's not worse than childbirth but it's on that level.. The girlfriend needs to shape up or ship out!! I was on a morphine drip for 3 long freaking days because I was 3mths pregnant so I had to stay in the hospital. I feel like it is possible to come back from this but, if she does it again, she's out the door!!

[@matthewuzulis5016]

S1: I'm sorry she needs to go. The one thing I learned about her is it's all about her. The not believing OP about feeling sick is massive but it was also about ruining HER day, then how dare OP not call HER, or how about how instead of meeting at the agreed upon time it was HER who forced the meeting to happen, lastly she camped out all weekend so OP would not change his mind about HER. She has more issues than not thinking people don't get sick. I can only go by what was here in this story so it's possible she is not this bad but based upon what we have, yikes does she only focus upon herself a lot.

[@Cityweaver]

Girlfriend already had a therapist, talked to therapist before talking to OP, had an action plan of things to change, and was terrified for the sake of her relationship? Naw, that's the good kinda crazy. Normal levels of crazy. I approve.

[@luvondarox]

On one hand, I'm glad that Gf had the awareness to actually apologize, but on the other hand... the chronic "pfft, you're _fine"_ is a scarlet semi truck blaring it's horn. Imagine what she would be like with children!

[@that_kid_nobody_notices]

9:14 "Why it was a mistake to dump her"???????!! Nah, get the f out of there. That right there is enough of a reason! She showed her true colors, and now she's laying it on heavy to cover it up. Maybe she can change one day, but it won't be for a long time. She's manipulating OP to keep him around. It also sounds like she's using her past as an excuse to behave the way she is, and as an excuse to her behavior and treatment of OP, which is NOT an excuse. You CANNOT and SHOULD NOT use trauma as an excuse to disregard other people and their feelings, EVER. Period. Full stop. Love bombing, anger at OP for not calling her when he was in the hospital, demanding an apology (maybe an apology for HOW he said it would be acceptable, but not WHAT he said, like I'm sure she wanted, but at this point, she doesn't even deserve that.), guilting, wanting constant reassurance from OP, only seeing the issue when her therapist said something instead of the person affected, clear abandonment and dismissal of OPs health. What would she do if they got married? "In sickness and in health." OP needs to get out of there while he still can. There's too many red flags, you could decorate a whole party with streamers of them, and still have more.

[@tryingnottobeasmartass757]

I feel for the guy in story # 1. I had over 30 kidney stones between December 28, 2021 and May 27, 2022, two of which caused a massive septic infection in my kidney that lasted for months, and I had to have 10 surgeries this year because of them. Thank God for short-term disability! That guy is not kidding, kidney stones are no joke. However, I had a testicular torsion (google at your own risk) in March of 2018, and that hurt worse than the most painful kidney stone I've had. I'm glad to be done with all of them for now.

[@elainehill6504]

I used to work in a bakery. A woman was hired who used to be a nurse. She hadn't been in patient care for many years, had been an administrator and got burned out, wanted an "easy job." She was the absolute worst. Constantly complaining about how she thought things were too difficult for an "easy job". Wouldn't take direction or follow protocols because she knew better. Was rude to customers and would argue with people about what they were ordering because she knew better. One time, I was going in to work and passed by a regular customer getting out of her car. She saw me and said "oh thank god you're here today, if it was the other lady I was just gonna leave." lol. She lasted about two months and when she left it was because she wasn't expecting to have to work hard at her "easy job."

[@emberwolf5653]

Me drinking water listening to story 1: 😮 *drinks more*

[@itsjustme7487]

ROFLOL. The last 5 years I worked before retiring, I also said daily "I don't want to go to work".

[@OZARKMOON1960]

I got news for OP. In KC (Missouri) and most other places, part-time jobs do NOT offer any kind of health insurance. Sounds to me like OP has lived a privileged life and been very lucky with a good job and a salary that pays more than 75% of working stiffs in this state make. OP really needs to run numbers about living expenses (her parents own house she can inherit? what are taxes projected to be? insurance? upkeep for home, car (those repairs are friggin' expensive!), replacement costs for appliances and life of same (new mattress and fridge every 15 years - best start saving for those now!). And the list goes on. It is a list I am facing after becoming newly retired and realizing that SS is not going to cut it.

[@RandomGuy-j8t]

3:57 'that was the moment he chose to write his will' - That cracked me up for some reason LOL

[@justozzy5559]

When it comes to the job, I totally understand not enjoying your job. I've been at the same job for over 8 years now, and it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. Because of that, I've been taking steps to learn a new language so I can completely leave the country. I plan to move out of the USA and since beginning this plan, I've felt so much better about my job. Knowing that it won't be permanent has made me feel so much lighter and less stressed about my work.

[@cynthiaholland13]

She seemed really sorry!! I'm so glad she saw the error of her ways and she is in therapy. Predators don't believe in redemption. They must all be perfect or they must be perfectly alone and miserable

[@Knives7777]

story 1: got loved bombed into forgiving her. Well if it works out for him good for him. I would never have forgiven that.

[@queencars802]

Been waiting for this one! Happy Sunday everyone!