My Wife Is ANGRY I Told Her "I Just Don't Care" When I Discovered Her Affair r/Relationships

[@dimsufferer9951]

She felt betrayed by his surveillance? Maybe she should have been smarter about hiding the fact that she has a little boy toy on the side, what a tool.

[@DemonAngel]

This is what got me. Like you are fishing to make this his fault and such a twat

[@TheBlueDsc]

There's something funny about a betrayer feeling betrayed because the one they're betraying knows about the betrayal.

[@Greg-m6c6m]

She's a vile, despicable woman.

[@simac8396]

yes OP used some high-tech James Bond CIA-style surveillance to invade her privacy. the system is called... *checks notes*...Her logging into her her social media on his personal computer and having push notifications enabled. on his personal device. how diabolical.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Maybe he shouldn’t have her stuff on everything and get her phone under her name

[@ZombieSazza]

She’s hurt that he told her “I don’t care”, but is somehow not upset that she alone destroyed her whole marriage? Yeah, checks out.

[@Dira7411]

Maybe she wanted a good slap across the face 😂 she lucky that’s all he said

[@timemonkey]

She didn't though, OP admits he was already neglectful and emotionally checked out before the affair started. They both wrecked their marriage, the wife just went too far on her side.

[@blue3532]

She only feels hurt because of her pride/ego. She would do it again in the future. 100%

[@alexanderp_]

​@timemonkey, you're absolutely right!!! When my husband and I didn't communicate, instead of getting a group/couple therapist, I went and slept with 20 guys. Totally not 100% my fault, because instead of working things out and talking to a therapist I start sleeping with the whole town!!

[@KaitoKiara]

​@@alexanderp_ Their relationship was dead and the husband was too lazy to divorce. She checked out with the affair. Like him she planned the divorce but was surprised how much fun they had. I can't even say, that the wife went too far with her affairs, because the husband seemed to enjoy the things his now happy wife did. Of course, cheating is bad and I would have broken up immediately. Still, in this special situation everything is so messed up.

[@themagicconch.804]

I’ll never understand cheating it’s so dumb if you aren’t happy leave don’t put another human being though that garbage.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Here's the thing, I agree. But. I have always told myself that if I'm with someone, and they cheat, it's over. I don't need or want an explanation, I don't want to know who with or how long. I only need to know if I'm leaving, or if they are. So I say all that to say I can't understand people who stay with cheaters. You love them? Great. Wish it was mutual. It isn't. And I really don't get this game that this couple played. If I was her, at the very least, I would NEVER mention cheating aloud to my partner. Because I'd know better than to set up that opening.

[@peachesnsht]

It's complicated. I can't speak in behalf of others but, in my case, It was not because I wasn't happy with my partners, It was because I have body image issues and a horrible self steem. Feeling attractive was the way to feel empowered. Being fully honest, non of my exes ever knew and I remember being very careful with my actions because I didn't want to hurt them (I know, bless my soul for not traumatizing them 🙄🙄🙄/s). What I mean is yes, it is about self imagen and self steem, the only "redeeming" quality that may make someone change is the capability of taking responsibility. The wife in this story chose the worst option and blamed It on OP. Dude, neglect doesn't make you cheat, you choose to cheat. You cannot choose what parts of the action and consequenses you are responsible for. Of course this is not the rule for aaall cheaters, there's people who would do this for power over their partners or other things but I won't talk about that because it's a different breed of AH. (I was (am?) a serial cheater, really long story, no, I haven't been in a relationship for over 4 years and haven't cheated on someone for over 5 years. I'm 30).

[@QwerpOS]

Lol, they don't tell their partner because they view them as a safety net. Basically, if the side piece decides to ditch or goes psycho, they can always return to the main meal and pretend nothing happened. It is sad, it is pathetic, but it is what it is sadly.

[@peachesnsht]

@@QwerpOS yup, pretty much.

[@HinataElyonToph]

Some people do it for the thrill

[@Intrepid_Explorer]

11:16 She feels "betrayed" that she was dumb enough to cheat on her husband and have him read along to the entire thing in real-time without him even needing to snoop through her devices, but not that she betrayed her marriage by having an affair in the first place? lol

[@AndyyWithAY]

I forgot the part about her dragging the husband. The lion, the witch, and audacity of this b- 😒 She's so incredibly entitled and self victimizing. Someone SHE thinks she was wrong bc her infidelity wasn't the gotcha she thought it was. OP will regret not ending it now

[@fiyahquacker2835]

If you want to use a possibly youtube friend version of b×××× you should use wretch or wench.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

God that's one of my very favorite Narnia references lol

[@blue3532]

We will see their next updates. Im pretty sure his wife going to cheat again. And the husband seems easy to manipulate.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@GabrielleHayes1921 i discovered it recently and I'm obsessed

[@darkmage9252]

​@@AndyyWithAY Reddit Brew uses that as a catchphrase

[@DemonAngel]

I really hate when commenters try to turn the post around on the OP with the whole "did you try to understand her?" , "did you actually care about her?" , "you could have done more!" No. No not really. You try to force something it will NEVER work

[@ZombieSazza]

I honestly hate Reddit for this, they very often blame the OP, especially in cases where the OP has been abused/cheated on, like why are they blaming the victim?!?

[@vlastelinprislic286]

​​​@@ZombieSazzathe op is a dude, so he in the wrong automatically... morons cannot cope with the idea of a w not being an angel.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

​@@ZombieSazzato be fair even after the update the op continued to cuck himself even though he really doesn't like that it fits him.

[@DemonAngel]

I didnt realize this could go for either story

[@PinkMarshmallows]

@@ZombieSazza Especially if the OP is a man.

[@RobertBishop-xt6yq]

S2 what the heck, people need to deal with the consequences for their actions. The son did, the brat just wants money, the stepmom is not an ATM.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Yea, she forgot that little thing about if you want somebody to do something for you, then you need to treat them kindly!

[@happyzahn8031]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Yep, that '[]itch' comment at the end - unbelievably crude.

[@heffa3821]

@@happyzahn8031 and that is why the little hooka gone end up havin to spread for money unless she resorts to thieving growin up to be an entitled golddiggin hooka.

[@pickle_pup8187]

The stepdaughter’s response in the update is fairly telling. She has, at least from the tone of the post, a very entitled and rude attitude. The nerve of someone believing that they can be rude and disrespectful but yet be “owed” money for their college tuition is just jaw dropping.

[@rawkmode6315]

The comments to that one were blowing my mind. I have a daughter and had her actively sabotaging every relationship I attempted. The girl she finally, "approved" of as a step mom was a 22 year old stripper that let her do whatever she wanted, got her into drugs and basically ruined my life with her outrageous lack of accountability, cheating and narcissism. Teenage daughters tend to get real territorial and possessive and make life hell on the new women in your life. If that new person isn't being abusive or harmful and is really just acting in the role you've set for them, then your kid needs to shut the up and deal with it.

[@aduckofsomesort]

Oh SHE feels betrayed? Wow.

[@Swnsasy]

How is it so hard to just say, "This isn't working and I want to get a divorce." How? I'm 47yrs old and I've never cheated on anyone, emotionally or physically. Been with my husband a decade and went through a massive rough patch 3yrs in and it never even crossed my mind... Immoral

[@SavagePassion666]

I was literally thinking this the entire fuck time. OP has something wrong with him for thinking this was an acceptable status quo and constantly forgiving this woman's insanity.

[@rekslegiune6004]

Because you have morals, hard to find people this days.

[@NurseKayP]

Right! Some people are excusing her behavior because he knew and didn’t immediately have an emotional outburst over the affair and are saying he was “too lazy” to ask for a divorce. Was she not too lazy herself to ask for a divorce. I found it interesting that some people thought it was ok she was going to ask for a divorce the day of the picnic TWO YEARS into her affair which would of been completely blind siding him if he hadn’t known about the affair from the beginning. the affair motivated them both to put more effort into their relationship but the same result could of been achieved by simply being adults and communicating their needs to each other. No excuse to have an affair.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

life is too short to deal with other people's BS. shes TA for having and affair, and hes TA for not leaving sooner

[@SavagePassion666]

@@aubreymorgan9763 Well said.

[@GoldenLeafsMovies]

Story 2: If she expects someone whom she treated badly to bow to her and give her money, then that's just entitlement at that point.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

What's worse is that the husband is expecting it too.

[@B.Harper7]

And biomom, that is solely the parents responsibility. Dad is a weakling for not shutting it down, calmly, with exact situations from the past. Hello?? Any parent? Explain to your child, who is about to enter the real world, as an adult, why you cannot turn that around without SERVERE effort and change. But even then, that much money? Her ACTIVE attempts to create a relationship with her stepdaughter was rebuked for over half of a decade, unacceptable.

[@B.Harper7]

She is in no place to ask for money. If she came up with a payment schedule and signed a contract with stepmom, she might consider it. But it's still risky 😬

[@B.Harper7]

However, that's obviously a no go at this point. There is also no going back in her relationship. This will be brought up by both the father and child the rest of their lives. Nope nope nope nope nope

[@dorianleakey]

She doesn't expect it. How she responded proves she never expected it. We all have only the OPs side of things and for some reason you always assume it's all accurate and honest, when it actually only makes sense if she is lying.

[@thatdellgirl14]

So wait she still found a way to blame him even though he started giving her what she wanted and hes at fault because... looks at notes.. he said he didnt care. And also because she left her info on a shared account and he just enjoyed the show😂

[@Cjaj2]

The part where the wife said she would put in the effort as long as he put in the effort. In what world is a 2 year affair putting in the effort.

[@lalvarez5151]

It takes effort to juggle two men lol

[@khaleesireyna731]

​@@lalvarez5151I mean, don't you see how hard it is for HER?!? What if she accidentally said the wrong guy's name in bed??? (/s)

[@tinywaterdrinker5136]

I 100% understand that its more common than anyone would like for emotionally neglected people to cheat, but i think theres more to it than that here. She is horribly selfish and unempathetic. That cant be fixed with dates and hugs. She took damn near a century to even apologize. She lied to OP, put him at risk, and ALSO played with another man's (even though he's an asshole himself) heart for YEARS, leading him on, not caring that he wasted 3 years chasing her. His wife is an unempathetic and selfish person who is going to do more unempathetic and selfish things in the future.

[@nehpets216]

She only started trying to work on the marriage once she had another partner, led that guy on knowing that he was in love with her, and was only upset that her husband knew without being jealous. Even the attempts at fixing it are her trying to "Get back" the sanctity of their marriage before he finds someone that he does care about and leaves. All of her fake apologizing and hurt emotions is about her trying to get him to care about losing her.

[@NurseKayP]

I felt like she was selfish already, but I didn’t even think about the Affair partner who she led on for multiple years makes it even worse.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It's time to dump the psycho in story 1. Reminds me of that AH who "pranked" his wife with an affair and was surprised she immediately filed for divorce instead of getting angry

[@Luciawilson]

Whats the name of that story? Is it on this channel?

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Time out ..what??? I wanna hear this story too

[@ventruzona]

I need to hear this story

[@heathermiller5765]

Lol I remember that one

[@AndyyWithAY]

Your girl always delivers. I didn’t react the right way to my husbands pranks and now our marriage is not the same it is on BORU. BORU is best of Redditor Updates

[@lonelypizzaslice4845]

Story 1 makes me feel bad. OP (unintentionally) discovered hes ok with a nonmonogamous relationship, and because of it his wife gets completely off the hook. He deserves better.

[@RGRaj_1977]

He deserves a 2nd cheating.

[@toothless3835]

@@RGRaj_1977 He deserves a partner in a poly/open relationship. He sounds like he's might be on the Ace/Aro spectrum. Probably would be happier as a secondary partner than primary. One of my friends prefers to be a secondary partner in any of her relationships because she doesn't like being the sole focus of a romantic relationship. She's in the poly circle and a lot of my friends are. My husband and I are the odd ones out for the group as we neither drink nor are interested in being poly. He tried, but he's didn't like it. And I've never been interested. Point is people are different. People deserve to be comfortable in their relationships.

[@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist]

@@toothless3835 This is honestly an amazing and interesting comment. I feel like 99% of people hate on many things that are out of the ordinary, and if they find it disgusting then they think everyone else should too. People are definitely different especially in sexual desires and relationships, but if you dont fit the norm for your country, the people say you are the bad one and deserve bad things. Doesnt help when people seem to demonize sex.

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@toothless3835ya that guy doesnt care about her. hes fine so long he gets what he wants. he wouldnt even blink if she died. he will leave her if she gets sick maybe old. i wouldnt blame him though. he will be around so long shes useful to him and not a burden

[@angellee7143]

Why would he "own up to how wrong he was" when it came to surveillance?.. she cheated, acted sketchy, and he had every right to find out what was going on. This man is gaslighting himself.

[@SingingMermaid4]

Why didn't he just leave his wife when the cheating started? She's legit crazy.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

They sound like they're made for each other. Dude cucks himself for his cheating wife while wife screwed around with another dude all the while the op knew and didn't care until his wife was a hypocrite infront of him.

[@derrickdimig]

Yeah and then he continued sleeping with her? I agree divorce and then leave. The only way he is kind of the asshole is to himself by staying and potentially exposing himself to STIs knowingly

[@DrownedInExile]

Right? I'm not at all impressed with OP. He stayed with a cheater for 2 years, why? Because she was giving him scraps off her table? Pathetic.

[@yusuka4ev830]

Im assuming because of exactly what he said. He's too complacent to have bothered or really cared enough to leave. Like he was there, but he wasnt there. He checked out a long time ago, but was just chilling. With a relationship like that i can see why it failed on both ends. Of course the wife has the biggest fault for cheating...im just more curious how these two ended up together.

[@BRKirne]

Right? When OP said "I was totally complacent in my life" right after he was talking about how he knew that she was cheating for TWO entire years, I was thinking about how the "was" should really be a "am". When you have this little self respect, how can you expect others in your life to respect you? He's going to the olympics with that level of complacency.

[@fmrc93]

S1: Wife complaining about being betrayed by his surveillance is like a crook being mad cctv picked up their face and police used it to arrest them.

[@idkkkk7588]

Story 1: It feels like this will eventually end in divorce. I know OP said he didn't care but this likely won't be the end of it.

[@karstenbursak8083]

" I just don't care" should be OPs mantra

[@olgar.6604]

I think it already is 😜

[@johnnyhall9154]

Second story: Had the step son not had a great relationship with OP, I'd agree with that last commentor. But that step daughter just does not nor did not put any effort towards OP. Idc if she was young, she was old enough to know respect

[@kp2223]

Tb HI think it's more a situation of insurance.She remains a number one to her.Dad and making sure to quit divide a wedge between Op and husband.

[@gwdzee]

She's way too comfortable calling op a bitch. Anyone else think the mother is involved in this? She's mad that her son is getting along with his stepmom and stepsister and the daughter has picked up on that, plus she wants to be loyal to her mom.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Story 2: OP is NTA here. Emma shouldn't be rewarded for disrespect. She may have had a rough time coming to terms with her parents' divorce, but she shouldn't be disrespectful to her stepmother. It's not like she was the mistress. Emma's parents were divorced long before OP entered the picture. That being said, I think I would've like a little more context about Emma, simply because I simply don't understand why Emma was acting up. 😅

[@kaykay8855]

The last comment responding to op rubbed me the wrong way because they sound like they put all the blame on op. Like op put in effort to make a connection to stepdaughter but there’s only so much op can do if stepdaughter doesn’t meet her halfway.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

@@kaykay8855Same, like how many stories here where the stepparent tries so hard that everyone votes them YTA because “you can’t force a relationship”.

[@jennsyk7520]

The response from Emma at the end was proof that op shouldnt fund her education. It wouldn't have been appreciated anyway.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@fallingawayfromthenorm You also gotta love how the father gets a complete pass, so it’s either Emma or OP’s fault. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ He should have been correcting his daughter’s behaviour. He’s at fault.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@kaykay8855 And where was her father in all this? Or the bio mom? No one biologically related to Emma stepped in to correct her behaviour.

[@TheBlueDsc]

Dang, I stumbled on the video ten seconds after it was posted. I think that's a personal record!

[@carolroberts4614]

3 minutes for me!

[@sarahkelly4026]

Should we be concerned? 🤔 16

[@VanityZERO]

24 minutes

[@EvilSinx]

Congratulations! I'm SO proud of you! :D

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 2: I am sorry the step mom could have been the biggest b in the world; she doesn’t owe the step daughter her dead husband’s money. Seriously, the idea that the step mom owed her anything because she didn’t like her or felt* replaced is absurd. This girl was just jealous her brother is getting college financed; which of course she’s jealous. But this is a consequence of getting op to remain at the distance she wanted, not be her family. And two if dad wants to be fair; he and his ex can try to pull money together for her college. Edited* for grammar.

[@Cookie25559]

Story 1: it’s ironic that the cheater is the one who feels betrayed 🤣🤣

[@whitneybennett4857]

OP is TA to himself. Nobody should "settle" for a relationship or marriage in which you know your partner's cheating or has cheated. Do you really want to waste your life like that? He'll never be able to trust her again (even if HE is naive enough to believe she'll be a good wife to him now). On another note, I love when a cheating partner gets upset by their significant other's indifference. Reminds me of the post where the OP got a text from her husband saying he was in love with another woman and he was leaving her. She then sent a text to a male coworker that said something like, 'I'll be meeting up with you and everyone else at the bar in a little bit. Looks like I just got dumped lol,' except she accidentally sent the text to her husband and ofc, he was pissed that she wasn't more upset. If I remember correctly, he then decided to stay with OP and tried to "win" her back, but SHE was done with HIM by this point. Too bad this OP couldn't have that kind of spine and resilience.

[@crawdaddy2004]

22:59 Clearly that if OP helped fund the stepson’s education, the issue wasn’t from being a stepchild.

[@eldeano9964]

Story 1: And now that you've told her how you knew, she'll know how to hide it better next time. And now she'll blame it on your apathy.

[@videofan1010]

I think the wife is stupid for having all her messages pop up on all the devices where things are locked in.

[@NurseKayP]

Then feels betrayed her husband was aware of the affair weeks in because she was an idiot who didn’t even attempt to be discreet. It’s pretty wild. At one point he said they share an iCloud.. I mean what the hell did she expect. She didn’t care that for 5 years he had access to that stuff until it got her caught. Now they are “starting over” where she gets blind trust she hasn’t earned back and doesn’t deserve. When she cheats again he will have to REALLY spy to find out about it.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 1: Cheating is the pinnacle of selfishness to the point that cheating partners will be mad that their partner doesn't react the way they want them to when they are (inevitably) discovered. She's mad because she thinks she's owed honesty and transparency despite offering only lies and deception herself. Even her attempts to "fix" the relationship were her demanding OP put the effort in while she reaped the benefits of his actions.

[@GreenKnight1982]

There is literally no excuse whatsoever to have an affair or to cheat on your partner and that includes feeling neglected. If you feel neglected then you need to act like the adult you are and talk to your partner or just flat-out break up with them.

[@rainbow_fox_]

right? I've never seen a single valid excuse for cheating. falling in love with someone else? stop messing with your partners' feelings and either be honest with them or end the relationship. you don't love your partner anymore? then just break up or divorce, why the hell are you staying with them???

[@sabrinahinton1774]

Last story NTA) The parents haven’t been together in 13yrs. Did she expect the stepmom would be handing out money to an ungrateful ass child because she’s is the stepmother. She has 2 living parents that could pay for her college tuition and with the response to her text I wouldn’t give her $1 and that’s being too generous. She is going to have a hard life and needs to understand that she isn’t entitled to a person money especially when she’s so very disrespectful. Let her take out student loans or get a job to pay for it she needs to learn a valuable lesson,

[@catsithx]

Story 2 ok you dont like your step mom. But calling her names and yelling will not get you to pay for anything. I bet the mother had soemthing to do with her attuide.

[@AndyyWithAY]

SD has had 8 years to get her 💩together. If she gets the money she'll go back to her BS. The youngest?? Technically but her and her brother are a year apart. I hope her husband gets it together or this is going to end in divorce like so many stories do

[@GreenKnight1982]

That's what I don't get about some of the comments, they were talking about her being a young child when Op came into her life however she grew up and supposedly matured and still acted the exact same way therefore she's not entitled to shit

[@Yeahno-ey3rb]

Story 1: Why do the people who snoop feel the need to apologize for snooping? There's nothing to apologize for if you have suspicions and most defiantly when proven correct.

[@nikkihorn3852]

You're only paranoid until you are right.

[@WeaponXSigma]

I've always called people out for apologizing for having to snoop. I think of it like this, if your gut is telling you something is wrong then you snoop and find out your fears were confirmed then as far as I'm concerned you don't have a damn thing to apologize for.

[@FanFicnic]

Honestly OPs response is just fascinating. I’m not sure if he didn’t call out the affair out of stubbornness, fear, or because he was enjoying the increased attention. In some places it seemed like he was kind of cool w it?

[@thefiretailedweasel6206]

OP in story 2 needs to buck up and get out of there. If someone let their child speak to me that way it would NEVER happen again, either because they put their foot down or because I left.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

I mean, the daughter lives with her mother full time so it's not like they're frequently in close proximity.

[@1tommyday]

That is basically what I wrote. It's the husband's responsibility and fault. And OPs for tolerating it for six years

[@happyzahn8031]

@@kimberlyterasaki4843 Apparently, they are not in proximity almost ever since the daughter won't come over and the dad visits once a week. by himself.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I don't get why the Reddit commenters didn't point out the responsibility the father has in this. Normally, they'd immediately scream to get out, but this time it's OP's fault that the stepdaughter behaves rude? What?

[@mcme1537]

I would have left when she (Emma) was traumatising my 6year old child. WTF

[@concrete-d5v]

So the wife is a liar, a hypocrite, a cheater and a horrible person in general, but the husband is the bad because he "GASP!" Looked at his work computer 🤦🤦 Geez accountability and cheaters never go together

[@phoenixspirit9530]

The worst betrayal of all, is when you realize that you have betrayed yourself.

[@DudeEM]

Story #2: I assume OP owns the house as her husband can’t even help his kids’ tuition & OP has a stable lifestyle. Immature individuals can be disrespectful & I can let those slide owing that they’re my spouse’s spawns but being disrepected while they’re being sheltered in my own home that my spouse doesn’t have a buck in ownership to and while they’re consuming the water, heat, & electricity that I pay for & eating my food would have a worse perception from me, like it’s multiplied 4X and I won’t care if they’re merely kids.

[@idkkkk7588]

Story 2: I can see that commenters point about there potentially being more going on here. I'd also say NTA for the money side of things. Since as well OPs late husband would probably rather his money go to his daughter and someone who treats her well rather then to someone who doesn't.

[@o_b0m_de_guerr432]

SHE FEELS BETRAYED? lololololol The fact that op, still married to this woman just make me cringe

[@jillimi]

That’s OK, I’m pretty sure we will have a new update in a few months with the (dumb) husband telling us that his wife is cheating again… and again, she is feeling “betrayed”.

[@loganjoh1]

The fact that he was trying to call the people out on Reddit that were dogging him for being a doormat was comical. He is literally a cuck by definition, yet he tried to say Reddit was overusing that word. Can't wait for the next update that when she either cheats again or talks him into an open relationship but only on her side.

[@zaklambert3102]

@@loganjoh1I was reading it the whole time thinking he’s such a cuck lol

[@melzied84]

As someone who was cheated on while having dire health issues, I was unable to get past it. I had to work on my mental health long after leaving him. Cheating is one of those line in the sand broken trust issues for me.

[@chaos4654]

2nd Story: I'm of two minds. a) Emma's probably one of those people you just gotta cut contact with, or at least as low contact as you can physically go without cutting ties with everyone else. b) Emma's probably only ever gonna come crawling to OP when OP's got stuff she wants. OP's gonna need to be ready to either prevent Emma from gettimg anything or ensure Emma gets the bare minimum.

[@bgcorporation]

Story 2: So, why doesn't dad have the money? Does he have the money? I mean he doesn't have to worry about 2 of the 3 kids futures. He only has to worry about 1. But, it's not fair? How?

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: That was exhausting to hear. She's been cheating for 2 years, and he's ok because he gets scraps off her table? And he wants to reconcile? Pathetic. Well it's his life to ruin.

[@rekslegiune6004]

Maybe he likes Aps dna, let's see if he got some stds or sti in his new updates.

[@My9thMyJoy]

She’s a psycho and op is emotionally blunted, but it’s gonna catch up with him eventually. The “you’re one to talk” was the first sign of that dam breaking. She’s completely drawn to op because he’s not jealous of her affair which is funny because that just really hit a narcissist where it hurts.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: So _she_ cheated, but _he's_ the one in the wrong because he doesn't care? 🤨 Edit: feels betrayed like she wasn't having a whole affair 💀

[@WillTw12]

“I cheated on you” This guy: 🗿

[@mattiekarwin3667]

Its funny how the OP stated in no uncertain terms that he genuinely didnt care that she cheated or was cheated, pushed back on the hate of the word cuck, and even brought up polyamory, and people are still trying to warn him that she'll cheat again when all signs-assuming he's being honest-point to him not giving a fuck about that. I think cheating just generally brings up such negative emotion that people aren't really getting that he doesn't care about the infidelity. It was the hypocrisy and victim blaming that he was bothered by and the wife basically came back on her knees begging and apologizing for it.

[@deifieddata4462]

She basically blames op for the affair. Op is pathetic for accepting this.

[@Starlitsoul0359]

Op was probably going through some stuff too, saw an opportunity to make the best of things, and took it. Ain't saying it was _right_ but, ain't particularly pathetic either.

[@AleksandarBradaric]

Yeahhh...Cheaters Reasoning...Never their fault..Xd...11:21...SHE FEELS BETRAYED...HAHA....the level of stupidity

[@thelostsoul1531]

I audibly laughed quite loudly when I heard this

[@jamilasmith8470]

Story 2 it costs absolutely nothing to just be cordial. Doesn't matter about divorce or not being the "youngest" anymore. Understandable if you're super young but once u hit a certain age tighten that shit up. If not, which is your right, then don't have your f*ckin hand out looking for something from someone who you literally despise PERIOD

[@hilarymurray8741]

Paying for stepdaughter story : NTA OP. You have not adopted your SD and she is not at all entitled to your money, which you can spend as you see fit. SD has two parents who can pay for her tuition. Your daughter only has you. Your Step Son is being a real benefit to your bereaved daughter and it is understandable that you would want to support him in return. Your SD is not. Let her own parents pay for her.

[@HoodieHorizon]

"I may have been lying to you and betrayed your trust in me all because I'm a selfish idiot too cowardly to tell my partner anything... but you were apathetic towards it and knew about it so that makes you just as bad as me" Fucking cheater logic man

[@dspadi1017]

Dude, she lied and cheated for two freaking years. How can you ever trust her again?

[@TheIronwil]

How ridiculous. She had a TWO YEAR AFFAIR. This wasn’t a drunken mistake or even a little fling. If she wanted another man, she should have divorced and moved on. I can’t believe she said she felt betrayed at OP’s monitoring of her communication. When married, personal privacy is greatly diminished. You’ve bonded yourself emotionally, but also legally, to another person. Whatever they do can and will upend your life. Investigating your spouse when they’re acting sketchy is what should happen.

[@catsncrows]

Lmao I did this. This guy cheated on me and confessed out of the blue. I just stared at him like leftover fish. If he was expecting me to cry and freak out (I think he did, he was playing some stupid have two women fighting over him game. Hell no! You stray I go away). Lady don't mad over your privacy when you're acting suspicious. Op had a right to know

[@hothotheat3000]

She wanted him to do the pick-me dance for her ego. Dance floor’s empty, chick!

[@CraigD.Macias-yg7qh]

Fascinating video, Let's stop taking relationship and family for granted. I have battled depression since my wife left me. I have tried all I can to make her see that I love her with everything I am made of but she has insisted on leaving. This has made me so empty, and I do not know what to do. I can barely function properly at work. I am frustrated and miserable. I really miss her.

[@MalcolmM.Stanton-hy4jb]

Your pain resonates with me. Letting go of someone dear to your heart is an immense challenge. I found myself in a comparable situation when my 12-year-long relationship ended, and I struggled to accept it. Despite my efforts to reconcile, I eventually turned to a spiritual counsellor for guidance, which eventually led to a reunion. I'm now filled with joy

[@CraigD.Macias-yg7qh]

I'm keen on meeting the counsellor you're talking about. What steps should I take?

[@MalcolmM.Stanton-hy4jb]

Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being

[@CraigD.Macias-yg7qh]

Thank you for this information. I have just looked her up on Google. impressive.

[@frank1fm634]

Craig you never said why your wife left you.There's nothing you can do to ease the pain and sorrow.Only time will do that.

[@Daug555]

S1: Indifferent is the best revenge.

[@bloodlos]

Story 1: I mean you get caught cheating and your first complaint is the surveillance, I feel like things aren’t going to work out for the best. She was hung up on the wrong things imo

[@orchidoxs126]

Cheaters are one of the biggest hypocrites She bashed the huusband of her friend for having an affair but she has an affair going on. And whike taking all this crap she then gets mad her cheating wasn't a secret and turned it on op. Bish.

[@Russman67]

She is going to just bury it deeper next time. Now she knows not to sync all of her devices.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

You know the moment she isn’t satisfied with anything op does she will unblock affair partner for validation.

[@bamboozled1449]

Story 1: hardest eye roll ever. no offense but OP is such a doormat. i couldn’t even finish the whole update. she has him wrapped around her finger, with those pitty crocodile tears 🙄

[@kountzanthony7021]

I don't think this will last long because she is what she is and that's a cheater. 2 years is just too long to try to reconcile this situation it must be over with and quickly.

[@davidlionheart2438]

Story 1 - OP: "I told my cheating wife I just don't care about her affair" Reddit: "Oh, that poor woman! You cruel monster!!!"

[@thewanderingronin5433]

Honestly, I would've left the minute I knew, especially if I didn't care. However, once I hear her bash someone else for cheating, that would've truly been it. I hate liars, cheaters, and hypocrites. She's all 3

[@jennstewart3003]

Story 1: I empathize with OP on the emotions thing. I don't get jealous or insecure. I just don't. You want someone or something else? Go get it. I'm worth more than begging for someone else's affection. Also, it's not just a dude thing.

[@Nico6th]

Last story: yeah, NTA. While the stepdaughter was a young teen when OP married her father, her parents had been divorced since shortly after she was born. The stepdaughter never had a mom+dad family situation, so there was nothing for Op to destroy or replace. I would assume that Op wasn't even the first partner now husband had after the divorce. She was just the one who stayed. From early teens to "going to college" is enough time to come to terms with the new situation and enough time to understand that you can not expect someone you don't have a good relationship with to pay for your college.

[@dave19328]

OP is just looking for an excuse to stay in that marriage that's why he's telling us SHE felt betrayed by the surveillance and how it made HER feel. But I guess since he didn't care then, why would he care now about his own feelings.

[@MGP2210]

Story 02: NTA. If you have bad relationship with someone, you cannot expect serious (financial) help from them.

[@brie1162]

22:18 OP tried, Emma called her a bitch. End of file. OP isn’t obligated to help her any more than she has offered. She’s 19, this is the consequence of her (or lack of) actions.

[@Theserjtankianfan]

“We reconciled and she made me remove the only thing that allowed me to know there was an affair so she can do it again because there were no consequences to her actions”

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: Wait, she bashed her friends husband for having an affair & when she got called out she immediately stopped her own affair? So what? This was about the thrill of not getting caught for her?? After Update: I'm sorry SHE felt betrayed?? Lady, who's the one that had the affair? Story 2: Hang on, is that one Redditor seriously trying to defend a 13 year old BULLYING a 3 year old?! "Did you seriously continually walk around carrying a 3 year old all the time" if a 13 year old is bullying a TODDLER, I would too! The hell?!

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - OP gets his rocks off knowing another man lusts after his wife. He loves that she stays with him and and the other guy is second place. She will start another affair because OP needs it to love his wife.

[@happyfrigginrainbowcookies]

Story 1: Unpopular opinion but I'm happy for them. If they want to try and save their marriage, honestly all the power to them. I don't think I could ever forgive a cheater, but it's not my relationship, so not my choice. I hope they get through it and I wish them both well

[@darkmask5933]

Story 1: Love how she actually got him to feel bad for keeping "surveillance" on her ... said surveillance being she was too much of a dumbshit to log out of her socials before cheating and then crying because when he found the cheating messages he didn't, like, ignore them? All the best to OP and his wife, good luck to them. They have an uphill battle for sure.

[@baby-bunny-studios2285]

In the first story, that woman is insane. She is clearly not right somewhere in her mind amd he really needs to divorce her before she does something to make him seem like the bad guy.

[@nicolasfrazier170]

Lol, don't feel bad at all for the wife in story 1. Screw cheaters, and the absolute gall to be mad at him for not being mad at her affair.

[@chezshirecat1872]

My mom married a man with a 14 year old son. She made it a rule early on that any money the son would need would come from the father only. The son was a POS and treated my mother poorly. So it was the father that paid for everything.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

That’s rich! She has the affair and when OP reveals that he knew and didn’t care, she accuses, “How could YOU have let this go on?!” 😆 How could SHE have let this go on? How did she let this even start? OP should just let that trash throw itself out! She’s def for the streets, this one!

[@brendasmith8939]

Tysvm for your 2 uploads a day. I look forward to hearing from you every day. Much love and respect ❤️.

[@KaitoKiara]

Story 1: I totally disagree with all the comments, I heard. Everyone sucks in the story. The husband completely checked out of the relationship, did practically nothing to make amends and was to lazy to divorce. The wife had every right to be upset, especially when nothing she tried, worked. But instead of divorcing her husband, she started an affair. During the affair he clearly enjoyed her efforts to make their marriage work and he didn't seem to be bothered by it. She enjoyed the best of both worlds. I mean, how can he not be also an bh, if he knows about the affair, but doesn't seem to care. What a wonderful husband, who doesn't care that his wife has an affair as long as he doesn't have to put any effort into the relationship. Even with the affair, it still sounded, like the wife initiated everything, while husband just went along.

[@rebeccariehle2764]

The healthiest toxic relationship I've ever heard! I'm totally rooting for 1st OP's marriage and hope to hear back from him after counseling so we know how great they're doing!

[@chanson8508]

It was lol 😂 Everybody getting triggered by the cheating, which is wrong #duh OP doesn't care and might get a long, loving marriage out of his indifference that is allowing them the possibility of moving fwd ❤

[@xenanutnut]

I was looking for a comment like this and thought I was the only one feeling this way! Everyone is bashing OP and his wife and telling them what should or shouldn't be, but honestly, every circumstance is different. It sounds like they are on a healthy and positive path and wishing them well.

[@DrownedInExile]

Nonsense. But you're welcome to put lipstick on a pig if you like.

[@jessieBird96]

Imagine having an affair and when your SO calls you out for being a hypocrite for judging a fellow cheater you blow up on them and call them an asshole. Your relationship is over, OP, just leave her

[@aileencastaneda3724]

Story 1: I don’t even know if that’s a fixable relationship. Story 2: Honestly where are her parents in this situation?! I understand divorce is hard but she needs therapy, if she’s going to keep using that as an excuse with any wrongdoing. That’s wrong.

[@Aetheroth]

Story 2: Perhaps some context might have been interesting to us, but I still fail to see how that overall would make OP the AH. Let's assume OP was an "evil" stepmother to Emma all those years. Wouldn't a normal person who developed hate and resentment for OP, and who escaped to her bio mom not want anything to do with OP. How does one feel they are entitled to something from someone they hate (or who might hate them)? By this girl's logic, OP was entitled to her staying and behaving herself regardless of how badly OP may or may not have treated her. The logic is stupid both ways. OP might have been the AH in how she handled her relationship with Emma, but she isn't the AH in this particular case, regardless (IMO) of context.

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

I checked the comment section of the 2nd story and the amount of ppl called OP yta is astounding. they're treating op like she's a monster step mother when all she's doing is not want to reward someone for their terrible attitude. the mental gymnastics of all the ppl calling op AH and even accusing her of "holding the money over step daughter's head" when she's literally not and for "showing favoritism" when no duh, who wouldn't with how step daughter acted?

[@lalvarez5151]

Reddit is an echo chamber. The stepdaughter hates stepmother and wants a free ride and they call Op the AH? Lol

[@kp2223]

​@@lalvarez5151Reddit is full of a ton of teenagers who see themselves in the situation and get mad That o p won't do what they want

[@sarahkelly4026]

Story 1: ESH. Thank goodness no kids. What a mess.

[@randomaccount-dq1jq]

Cheaters often end up saying the "it didn't mean anything, I don't want our relationship to end, it was just physical" choosing to ignore what they mean is "it didn't mean anything to me, i just wanted extra physical validation" When betrayed spuses find out and don't actively blow on the cheater when they next see them and are calm when they confront the cheater they refuse to ignore all the heartbreak and pain the spouse had not infront of them because if something is not validating how amazing and how much they are the centre of others worlds it just does not count.

[@HaleyJo1992]

Last story: There must be consequences for this behavior. My sister hated my mom getting remarried and having more kids. At 41 she's still a bitter woman who hates and abuses us. Nip this in the bud if you can

[@laurieharper1526]

Her problem was hypocrisy. Had she not decided to get on her high horse about the friend's husband's affair, OP would have been happy to let sleeping dogs lie.

[@angeloliver7613]

That reminds me of something I read on reddit: "Cheating is wrong, but so is years of being ignored." I'm not validating the affair, people can AT LEAST separate or bring up an open relationship or something, but I get her feelings too.

[@WritersOnTheWall]

she basically could have made everyone happy by just saying hey let's go hang out with her big girl words instead of expecting this dude to read her tea leafs

[@NoOne-fo1di]

I cant tell if this is sad or just overly pathetic but I'm glad it's not my life. It's insane to me that OP is apologetic for spying, when you're a married person having sex with someone else it doesn't matter how the spouse finds out, the cheater is ALWAYS the asshole

[@gl7881]

Story 1: Personally I think OP made the wrong choice. She didn't end the affair until after he let out he knew. Also for some reason she thinks she has a right to feel betrayed after she stepped out on her marriage and she never stopped the affair even though OP and hers marriage was doing better. She had shown you what type of person she is and she has also shown that she is not spouse material. OP needs the luck because the path he has chosen is not an easy one and something tells me that it will not end the way he wants to... Story 2: OP is NTA.

[@caseyjude5472]

It’s almost as if love & partnership is less about sex & more about communication. Who knew?

[@evam6566]

Finally someone who is not jealous too. I thought I was the only one.I also do not care if my partner cheats on me.