God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia | Onion News Network

[@mazgazine1]

ARE WE BACK?!?!?!!?!??!?!!?! THE ONION, I WILL GIVE YOU PATREON MONEY!!!

[@TheOnion]

Have a written record of society’s collapse. Become a member. Get the paper. membership.theonion.com

[@jaykay4137]

we are SO back!

[@srynotsry263]

@@TheOnion ONN IS BACK LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

[@helix33933]

@@TheOnion holy shit THE ONION NEWS IS BACK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@Titancameraman64]

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@yeetmcduggy8216]

Someone actually had to animate this

[@wow-roblox8370]

And we thank them for their sacrifice

[@Master_Tamma]

And they loved every minute of it

[@dumaass]

you mean film? what? what was animated? edit: ohp nevermind i saw the map

[@jamessurnamepending1239]

Someone named "A.I."

[@dungeontnt]

Laughing all the way while doing it

[@sonyavincent7450]

Cant believe they missed the perfect opportunity to talk about the second coming....

[@StrangeScaryNewEngland]

I would've ended it with "SO, does this mean that the second coming of Jesus is upon us?" And then maybe something after, about making sure to bring your umbrella or something

[@residentenigma7141]

Cum on. Be serious.

[@UkeCan1]

"It's the second coming!", he ejaculated climactically.

[@progenitor_amborella]

I could see it with their classic “roundtable” anchors.

[@residentenigma7141]

@@progenitor_amborella they didn't have to say it, we all did. They are clever and mock us.

[@Mrjonnyjonjon123]

Haters will say this is CGI

[@PublicShinma]

AI

[@dhineshveluswamy6936]

*Atheists

[@SQWAUKSQWAUK]

I don't understand its litterally real I was there.

[@PublicShinma]

@@SQWAUKSQWAUK What is this phenomenon called? I didn't find any other news besides this. It seems like it's content or AI..

[@justacat2]

@@PublicShinmasrsly?..

[@calebwantshelp]

the onion news network is back?

[@doximaxx]

So is print media, the onion’s back baby

[@ConnorNolan]

YEEEEES WE NEED THIS

[@ikschrijflangenamen]

Will Clifford Banes host?

[@catmanmenace]

Now bring back ClickHole.

[@c0t0d0s7]

@@ikschrijflangenamenHe’s currently regaling the interns with tales of his days at sea.

[@enk335]

0:14 "New Texas bill would make it illegal for women"

[@pringleberg6826]

based texas

[@TurtleTracks-g1r]

@@pringleberg6826 preteen level response

[@pringleberg6826]

@@TurtleTracks-g1r i was joking because i knew the headline was a joke... please understand i don't think that way in real life

[@wanali4504]

yEe hAw *bRuDeR*

[@LabGecko]

@@wanali4504 I love that Google thinks that needs translating to English. I wonder if Texan is on their language list

[@alloutgamer5725]

Welcome back Onion News

[@maxuabo]

Thanks

[@TrstnVR]

@@maxuabo Bro is NOT Onion news 😭🙏

[@FryManTheGreat]

​@@maxuabo bro is not onion news 😕

[@matt.stevick]

@@maxuabo 2:05 bro is not onion news 🤦🏼‍♂️

[@TylerBaraby]

@@maxuabo You're welcome!

[@NovaAge]

Holy shit The Onion is back _hard_ now. Nature is healing

[@electricminecrafter]

i may have to kneel

[@dwellerintheden7973]

you know who else is back hard

[@Agnes.Nutter]

looked more like a half-chub to me

[@Florida79578]

Yes

[@namethathasntbeentakenyetm3682]

The Onion is back hard and telling us who's not

[@SuhandiWijaya]

When God says "O Come, All Ye Faithful" he meant it.

[@kilojool4kuhd68]

THEY GOT THE FUNDING BACK THEY GOT A BUDGET AGAIN

[@throwback19841]

Yeah the brand got bought out from private equity by some enthusiastic industry insiders and they're determined to bring it back. There was a story about it doing the rounds a few weeks ago. Passed most of us by of course, because it was actual news.

[@AZaqZaqProduction]

@@throwback19841 it was bought out by a rich guy who, at least if you take him at his word, basically seems like he wants to financially support it just so that it can exist and thrive like the glory days. Better than spending it on a yacht at least.

[@TheHippyProductions]

​@@AZaqZaqProduction now if only we can create an immortal clone of Mike Lazzo to take Adult Swim back and make it great again

[@KristianKumpula]

@@AZaqZaqProduction Thank God for rich people and capitalism

[@progenitor_amborella]

@@AZaqZaqProduction we actually got the good ending? I might subscribe to their print. Be courteous and leave the read copies in your break room.

[@peralynth]

I watched this without looking at the description and thought it was a classic years old onion broadcast, only to see “8 hours ago.” This is a good sign, I think. Welcome back

[@underbjorn]

I agree, completely shocked but so excited.

[@NJ-wb1cz]

Onion should do an update on their Israeli-Palestinian coverage of the past. I think a large part of the reason why their old videos stay relevant and popular, is because you just can't make them now. Michael Falkes, that middle eastern spokesperson, the panels, .... The only reason why they haven't been cancelled by everyone is because they didn't make anything new

[@dulguunjargal1199]

​@@NJ-wb1cz The Gaza Scrap report is still exactly as relevant as it was when it got posted

[@NJ-wb1cz]

@@dulguunjargal1199 Yeah, it's understandable that you want to keep re-watching the old stuff, that's the point. Old stuff doesn't offend us

[@dulguunjargal1199]

@@NJ-wb1cz frfr

[@ForeverHobbit]

"good africa" and "ungrateful colonies" killed me I bet many people don't bother to stop the video to read them all but it's genius

[@nowonmai-r8m]

And just "Akron, OH" there in the middle.

[@raidy5215]

Bin Laden in the ocean, ahaha.

[@JeremySnyder-p3d]

“Adrenochrome mine”

[@kunibald128]

I am mainly worried by the robot uprising 😳

[@gabrielmaximianobielkael3115]

​@@JeremySnyder-p3d I didn't understand that

[@JimmyMcBimmy]

WAIT!!! --- circumcised?! This has massive implications.

[@waltuh2.3bviews3secondsago3]

if jesus was jewish, god might be too

[@theepicshifter1251]

He wanted Abraham to be like him

[@XzaroX]

So much for being the perfect being lol.

[@v0id_d3m0n]

Oh yeah you're right!

[@datwee7576]

nah hes just pulling it back

[@alexplorer]

I can't believe he put that in a teenage girl and we still call her a virgin instead of a survivor.

[@v0id_d3m0n]

It's at least 10 times her size!

[@-JA-]

😢 She truly took one for the team that day.

[@LachlanJeffreyDrew]

She definitely wasn’t a virgin!

[@publius9350]

Just the tip.

[@temmaxtemma9570]

oh god. atheistic joke are the best

[@greebj]

And we thought the bible describing god "coming" and "revealing" himself was quirks of spooky language. He's actually just a flasher. Maybe the priests weren't lying when they said they were doing "god's work" with the altar boys

[@sgtrock59]

"Behold I come quickly". Gotta PE problem there, too.

[@ChonkLantern]

Nah 💀

[@LopoRoro-nf8wv]

History jave known that Mocking God never goes well. God is not mocked and everyone will reap what they sow. Jesus is King of kings and Lord of lords. Every knees shall bow down before him.

[@catcryt1765]

​@@LopoRoro-nf8wvoh im on my knees alright

[@frodoan]

Nah I'm good bro​@@LopoRoro-nf8wv

[@SpigotSnorchus]

I missed ONN Thank god we FINALLY have a reliable news source

[@noxabellus]

thank god's penis

[@אלוןשיינפלד]

Pun intended

[@zenvio]

what @@אלוןשיינפלד

[@mar35962]

finally a break from all the liberal propaganda

[@random6033]

it's still not the same 😭

[@reactionmonkeys]

So... About Noah's ark and the flooding...

[@NoExplosionsMcgee]

Lmao

[@MrVioletML]

​@@NoExplosionsMcgee oh hell nah 💀

[@smoothrocky1847]

and sowing seed

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

"Be fruitful and multiply" cause he likes to watch.

[@greenworkstu]

“Ah, relief.”

[@Kj16V]

So, God is circumcised. This means he's either Jewish or Muslim, and we're one step closer to finding which religion is the one true faith.

[@maxim196]

Seeing as Islam is the youngest ...he's Jewish

[@frowner_and_co]

Maybe he's just a penis shaped worm (Animal called penisworm) we will never know

[@AbuObida-u7b]

Muslims and jews both believe in same god ..... But its just the last prophet that differ Like for muslims prophet Muhammad is last and for jews moses

[@Sreerags5959]

​@@AbuObida-u7b They are NOT the same Gods. And no, it is not just the Prophetic lineage that differs. God of the Jews bestowed upon humanity their inherent Original Sin, while the God of Muhammad forgave Adam and Eve. That is, even one of the core theological foundations is different. There is no point in Judaism if humanity is not carrying their Sin. And it doesn't stop there. While both the Torah and the Quran claim to convey the words of the same monotheistic God, there are significant theological differences. Judaism emphasizes a covenantal relationship between God and Israel, with laws that are specifically for the Jewish people. Islam stresses the absolute oneness of God (Tawhid), and the Quran serves as the final, uncorrupted revelation for all of humanity. The character of God himself, and nature of his messages, are all portrayed in different ways (whether it be Genesis, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, or Numbers) and in different contexts. In other words, Quran, Torah, and the Bible each have their own versions of the Abrahamic God. If they are the same Gods solely based of the similarities, then even Ahura Mazda can be considered the same God because of how much that religion influenced Second Temple Judaism, and infact, the Zoroastrians were too, at one point in time, considered the people of the book.

[@TrendyTown8]

​​@@AbuObida-u7bStill why muslims hate Jews? I mean, it's not only because of this recent Israel, Palestine conflict. Eveb ur scriptures written against jews

[@dulguunjargal1199]

CNN, Fox, BBC, and many others will crumble at the sight of true journalism that is the Onion

[@BirdieRumia]

The news scroll at bottom is as great as ever. "New Texas Law Would Make it Illegal for Women." "Supreme Court Goes Cashless"

[@jamesbrendan5170]

very surprised about the Supreme Court going cashless... how would some of them bathe in money then? also, Touhou is nice.

[@frocco7125]

LMAO I didnt see that lmaoooo

[@lolliii5477]

@@jamesbrendan5170 i believe there's something called coins, -and printers-

[@revendax2584]

I was so dumb. I just stared at the screen expecting there to be more to "New Texas Law would make it illegal for women" but there wasnt. Then the joke finally blind sided one.

[@lolliii5477]

hmmmm after 1 month i thimk ur onto something

[@Koronuru]

It all make sense now why our galaxy we lived called "Milky Way". 💀💀

[@user-em6ie2be7x]

0:10 In the beginning God said "It was cold that night".

[@maxuabo]

It stretched all the way to South America. That’s a hot cold pool

[@touch_me.]

@@maxuabonah, he’s just huge

[@guitarcomet5]

Significant Shrinkage ? 😊

[@alisaglam2465]

@@guitarcomet5 whats with the cheeky smile sneaked in there right at the end like you did that face right after finishing the sentence 😭

[@rr.studios]

"Mass Shooter Described As Sweet Boy Who Loved Shooting People" 1:17 💀💀💀

[@Sydney-Casket-Base]

Me fr

[@abludungeonmaster5817]

"Supreme court goes cashless."

[@MattMelon519]

He's only a lad! He's underprivileged and abused! Perhaps a little bit confused!

[@murderofcrows7475]

Just when you thought the video title itself wasn't funny enough, they slip this in there

[@elisabethheiman2104]

Yeah, I saw that too! 😂

[@spencertwoeightyz3383]

that prostate exam in a thousand years sounds like it will be quite an event.

[@Magst3r1]

I am feeling his presence inside me. He is coming inside me!!!

[@realKarlFranz]

Lucky

[@chompythebeast]

The Second Coming

[@knight-mares]

He has RIZZEN!!!

[@Joey7Z7Horror]

This stems from such a lazy joke and yet the way this is worded is actually funny. Idk how it’s happened twice in the past 24 hours that I saw someone make a lazy joke and have it actually be funny

[@thatkindcoder7510]

@@chompythebeast As well as the third, and fourth and fifth

[@mphmph1198]

The righteous shall be showered in his holy blessings. Glory be.

[@Kari.F.]

😂😂😂

[@maksimovich09]

@@Kari.F. If you find this funny you're very immature

[@mphmph1198]

@@maksimovich09 I was going to tell Kari a poop joke, but now all I feel is shame and self-loathing.

[@shankieinthefridge]

​@@maksimovich09My guy, you're in the comment section of a video titled "God's Penis Visible in Night Sky for First Time in Millennia"

[@Silicant]

@@maksimovich09 Sir are you aware you are in the comment section of the Onion News Network? None of this is immature, The Onion only covers very serious topics

[@adrianaslund8605]

1:03 "Girthius"? Very nitpicky of me but that's not an egyptian name. "Pahenesy-Amon-Ball-Sekh" would have been better.

[@nokzep8118]

I believe Girthius is a rough translation

[@thefunnychiptuneman]

so glad onion news is back

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@pennylane5581]

We got The onion back before GTA 6

[@AditiyaFasilkom47]

0:53 "life changing" 💀

[@JoeMama-1diot]

I can’t believe I missed this..

[@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Hostefar]

This is why i hate living in europe sometimes

[@ivaerz4977]

Well I can do that for free

[@BloomerMedia]

This must be a sign from God that the Onion News Network is back.

[@sirexilon49]

A rather massive sign

[@ahmadbani1452]

Amen brotha

[@OLBastholm]

​@@sirexilon49 It seems like a pretty average sign to me

[@ekaterinaobraztsova4631]

​@@OLBastholm yeah, my sign is bigger

[@ekaterinaobraztsova4631]

​@@OLBastholm Yeah, my sign is bigger

[@JohnnyWednesday]

The Onion News never left - there was simply no news to report.

[@mikeomoran9256]

We're so back

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@kpcher]

I'd make a "I expected it to be longer" joke, but it's already multiple parsecs long, so...

[@hk-4758]

Statement: I'd say less than 12 Parsecs

[@StrangeScaryNewEngland]

@@hk-4758 Are you saying that God's penis did the Kessel Run in LESS than 12 parsecs?

[@theflyingspaget]

OTGW PFP SPOTTED RAAAAA

[@muskyoxes]

Now we know how the Kessel Run can vary in length

[@henryatkinson1479]

Almost 13 years since our last year in review... 13 years of being completely uninformed. I'm so glad to see the return of real, hard-hitting journalism.

[@guitarcomet5]

I was actually there and witnessed it! I felt his Golden Shower. I tasted his goodness. “Joy to the world, the Lord is come!”

[@thenonfurry]

😭

[@de1sh]

Has come*

[@zyxwv]

here before this gets age restricted

[@lolliii5477]

yeah

[@flyingrainfrog898]

Someone had to say all of this out loud without even smiling

[@RandomCritic1]

"New Texas Bill Would Make It Illegal for Women." That just about sums up Texas there.

[@GSBarlev]

I was so excited for the return of the old format that I totally forgot what made that old format great!

[@Justnn]

And yet everyone wants to move here. But I do sincerely encourage you to stay out.

[@naidoeshacks]

All I remember is it being illegal for women to murder their children, did I miss anything else?

[@CYeoung]

@@Justnnaustin tho

[@johanbjorkman1914]

@chinsaw2727 No that would be a tragedy.

[@vexivero]

This is why I stayed subbed. Only took 10+ years for them to realize this is the winning format. Either way, I'm happy.

[@username46100]

And so is God!

[@ICE0124]

I know right make it seem like an actual news story and not someone standing in phone of a green screen using their phone as a microphone which makes it seem so low effort but having a serious and real looking news organization have ridiculous stories makes it so good. Ive been rewatching their old videos because they where so much better.

[@effbar2400]

It's not that they didn't realize it was popular it's just this is much more expensive

[@theflyingspaget]

​@@effbar2400I suggest the people who like this content so much start paying for it and get the print subscription

[@PatGunn]

I hope they can get Cressbeckler, Brooke Alvarez, and maybe even Zwiebel back

[@jikumo2483]

The Only News Site that i can trust

[@SQWAUKSQWAUK]

This and the robloxian news

[@kaesitha7006]

The "I just love events" shirt at 1:38 is great lol

[@ekaterinaobraztsova4631]

I need it. Right now.

[@isthisthingoH_NO]

I think the onion published it to their website. Pretty funny

[@johnhamann5861]

1:47 I love how the globe marks Bin Laden in the Western Indian Ocean

[@TamaCinema69]

Don’t forget “Ungrateful colonies” “Vegas” and “Akron, OH”

[@06.arkan2a2]

​@@TamaCinema69no bruh, are you living under a rock? It exists, you lier

[@ENZERYN]

It's called Arabian Sea

[@admiralstiffplank]

"Good Africa"

[@JosephWallace-xo8sg]

Hahaha, good eye

[@jameshrooms8905]

I love the Onion News Network! Please consider bring back the In The Know segment, it’s one of my personal favorites!

[@therealscarhomie]

Holy shit they actually moved on from tiktok slop, the west has RISEN

[@saarl99]

I think the tiktok slop was good satire tbh but I'm glad they can do bigger projects now

[@timscott84]

I think they were far too trend focused and on a budget, it was bad. We didn't want that crap, sorry. Get the same people and more to be involved with this style together.

[@laravioliiii2832]

The west has risen. Billions must live.

[@theflyingspaget]

They were broke :(

[@Jebu911]

@@timscott84 You could feel the low budget in those even tho some of them were funny. It was a dark reminder of how much ONN had fallen from big budget days. Also with a greenscreen and a guy in a suit they can pretty easily make the production value look nice like it used to.

[@bonnibbel6177]

Damn god is packing

[@NotSoMuchFrankly]

Seriously, what did you expect?

[@touch_me.]

fr

[@Patrick_Ross]

Donald Trump will claim it was actually him.

[@seantaggart7382]

​@@Patrick_Rosswhy we bringing him into this? Please? Can we PLEASE move on?

[@UkeCan1]

@@seantaggart7382Sadly not until he stops couping.

[@qoyote]

onion news network visible in night sky for first time in millennia

[@jimtalbott9535]

Of COURSE it was Tacoma.

[@chompythebeast]

"Tacoma" is Latin for "god's dong"

[@d0mram-02]

Can't be real, God has forsaken that place.

[@johnnydecomposizione3106]

Thats why I try to catch rain with my tongue

[@Joey7Z7Horror]

Bro is trying to get all the sweat 😭

[@-JA-]

It is his heavenly blessing after all.

[@CoreyNoboDy-f2o]

⏸️ ... !!! 🤐😂

[@DanMurphy-w3m]

Now I'm off to make some snow angels

[@philipramirez5406]

Welcome back ONN! I was almost getting tired of watching the same clips for 20 years

[@naturerules8816]

I haven’t seen the news channel for so long

[@RaiderDave42069]

I dropped to my knees when I saw it. I just want to please God. I want to be covered in his viscous salvation.

[@pancakeman2070]

alright bro

[@Noah13239]

alright bro pipe down, god is all mine

[@TheChrisLeone]

I am taking medicine that needs to stay under my tongue and I straight spit it all over myself when he said the thing about the great pyramids

[@MatrixEvolution17]

I can't believe I missed it 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@NotSoMuchFrankly]

Damn light pollution!

[@williamszy2827]

The return of the tomahawk of truth into the skull of lies.

[@TheStarBot]

Tomahawk Tawh

[@ligma212]

The return of the dil do of truth into the butt of lies

[@gwabrar4341]

hawk tuah

[@Idiotic_B_Purcell]

​@@gwabrar4341 lucky hawk

[@someoneunknown7655]

I went out with my whole family to see this! It’s a once in a lifetime experience we’ll never forget

[@Iwillprobablychangethislater]

Can't wait for his love and kindness to come throughout me! ✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝✝😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

[@lolliii5477]

🤨

[@ilikecreeper331]

amen 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

[@埊]

Ra'門🗿🗿🗿

[@Jingoa]

The devil, up to his old tricks, sent rain that day, causing the celestial shaft to wither, but the faithful did not shame God, for they knew shrinkage is eternal, as is His mercy and his girth Amen

[@LoveEarthHereAndNow]

#Girth

[@jaynewallace8592]

So that's why we call out "oh, god! Oh,god! Oh, god!"

[@thevoidlord1796]

Oh my god the new ONN outro has so many good easter eggs. I particularly love South African being called "Good Africa", Australia being called "Sand" and the Gulf of Mexico is just "Ungrateful Colonies"

[@GUNUFofficial]

They come back with the most out of pocket thing ever.

[@jeniskindof]

Looks like the onion still has its edge

[@Joey7Z7Horror]

Holy shit this is from an hour ago. Nice to see The Onion still coming up with banger concepts. Also, take this, atheists!

[@username46100]

Oh, I'm a believer now!

[@HungryWarden]

I memorized all these good atheist quotes though… :(

[@yohanfye]

We really got Onion renaissance before GTA 6 😭

[@LilShpee]

no fucking way they're back

[@syris1952]

Finally. The truth is back. It’s been so long we’ve been wandering the labyrinth of lies, but now the Onion News Network is here to lead us back home.

[@PersonOfTheInternet280]

It's the first time in a decade The Onion's KZbin channel is back.

[@realebbson]

peak news

[@waytoobiased]

climax news, even? :0

[@v0id_d3m0n]

Prick news

[@GoodMorning.]

Peak pfp

[@MeguminIsWaifu]

Finally REAL FUCKING NEWS!!

[@mancampovestiminvatam]

Wow! Classic Onion level production!

[@evenodd3339]

We are so back

[@franciscomagalhaes7457]

omg is the onion news back? Please be back!

[@GrothMovieReviews]

Love that the globe inexplicably only shows Akron, Ohio and Vegas as locations on Earth.

[@Stonewren]

He's circumcised as a covenant to himself 🥰🥰🥰

[@chompythebeast]

He sacrificed himself to himself in order to save us from himself

[@dragon-mv3gc]

Finally, the only news network I can trust is back.

[@mr_silver_eyes]

They didn’t even think about blurring it first! What a bold move.

[@josephbelisle5792]

This is more believable than religion.

[@DeepfriedBeans4492]

The ONN is actually back!! Let’s freaking go! I’d love if you could bring back some of the old actors at least briefly, but it’s been a while and I’m sure they have their own lives now so it’s fine if that doesn’t work out. I’m just glad someone thought this was worth giving funding for to do at all.

[@knifeghandi]

Agree I got quite attached to some of those news anchors and it would be great to see them

[@jtukko]

"In no way emasculated by..." while lowering his head in defeat 😆

[@user-em6ie2be7x]

0:11 Ye Not a Grower but a Shower. 😂

[@GSBarlev]

I just hope Earth's magnetosphere is up to the task of deflecting that shower...

[@Dinosaur-killer6]

Truly the nation under God

[@leonidaspetsakos9690]

This is blasphemous. As a European Christian, I refuse to believe God is circumcised.

[@joshgamingvlogs5203]

He’s NOT CIRCUMCISED this is just American propaganda don’t fall for it

[@NetarAlt]

Agreed

[@jajordan2106]

Jesus was jewishe

[@direwolf029]

Who circumcised God though? lol

[@joshgamingvlogs5203]

Circumcision is genital mutilation

[@vjm212]

Ah, the famous theological question: can God make a cock so thick that even He could not circumcise Himself?

[@alisaglam2465]

the biggest question that no one could fathom.

[@mmmmmmmmicrowave]

he just grew without the foreskin maybe?

[@DanMurphy-w3m]

Have pity on the guy that gets to do the prostate exam

[@onlyruss]

We are so back 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@zoyadulzura7490]

This really puts the pressure on Jesus. After what his dad pulled, Jesus is going to have to take it up a notch with that "face on toast" business.

[@zoyadulzura7490]

@Amalgamate-w6n Fun.

[@Tr3yM34]

The only news network to survive in the future

[@Big_Caesar1]

No way the onion is finally back, I was missing this kind of humor in my life

[@RacerC45]

How did this get past KZbin's censorship?

[@zoyadulzura7490]

God works in mysterious ways.

[@davidferrara1105]

Religion is important!

[@dulguunjargal1199]

Real Journalism and News shouldn't be censored

[@gcSNO]

artistic nudity

[@zoyadulzura7490]

Another miracle from above!

[@YoYoBobbyJoe]

No way, ONN is actually back? That's amazing.

[@Sandi-ke9mi]

Well, the stuff they did years ago still holds up, so I’m glad they’re back. Keep it coming!

[@SillyPuddy2012]

HE could not have come at a better time, as always. To shower this parched world with the divinity of HIS holy load. Quench our thirst oh Heavenly Father.

[@MS6InvaderCommander]

This video is a metaphor about the Onion itself posting a new high budget banger

[@SpudMackenzie]

ONN is back, baby!

[@ericbrass3434]

Checkmate atheists! 😆

[@mirrorblue100]

The Origins of the Weinerists.

[@AskJoe]

Glad to see you are back and that we finally have a trusted alternative to the mainstream media.

[@madnessends2477]

Immso glad they are doing news again!

[@Synaw97]

As a Christian and an astronomy enthusiast….this does bring a smile to my face

[@joshgamingvlogs5203]

You enjoy your most high being mocked and Circumcised??? Yeah you are going below the boiler room

[@Mike-zk5jc]

did they get the same ONN channel announcer to come back?

[@dysekin]

thought this was an old vid, WHEW we're back