How To Channel Your Road Rage Into Cold, Calculating Road Revenge

Subscribe to The Onion on KZbin: bit.ly/xzrBUA
Defensive driving instructor Danny Preston says the best way to avoid conflict on the road is to execute long-term psychological torment on aggressive drivers.
Like The Onion on Facebook: www. theonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: / theonion
More Breaking News: www.theonion.com/video/

[@snatchadams69]

"Now he can't escape death and he has no idea who you are" "That is great driving advice"

[@reidsjaaheim8237]

Underrated line.

[@ploopybear]

best out of context things for people to ask why they exist

[@Wubsy96]

Advice on how to drive someone insane

[@lethargic_cow]

😂😂😂😂👌🏼

[@josephortega6080]

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 He said tip! 🥵 ok I’m good now

[@dropUrPeaches]

"But then I remembered he's human. Just like me. He has a family that loves him. And that's an exploitable weakness!" *cackles*

[@xinquiote9572]

1k likes and no reply? What in the world?! Also, yeah. That's an exploitable weakness indeed.

[@fortnitesus]

Xin Quiote that’s why there is no replied

[@SubjectMRF37]

sadness potate you never gave a reason

[@LordGryllwotth]

Haha! Typical protagonist movie stuff.

[@fortnitesus]

Scott Johnston cause there’s nothing to say it’s funny joke and he is just restating it. the reply is just him resisting the restated it’s dumb

[@delt19]

"You can't let it get to you!" Then he goes on to explain how his life since 1996 has revolved around that one instance where someone flicked him off in traffic. Brilliant!

[@zapkvr]

*flipped*

[@KillKenny09]

yes. that is like....hmmm....the joke.... XD

[@thetylife]

AND he's the one that cut him off first lol....

[@rhabeldibabeldi6812]

Damn how did I miss that? Great, thank you 😊

[@lucystarlight8887]

"He has a family that loves him, and that's an exploitable weakness" sounds like a line from It's Always Sunny

[@SixxThirtyFive]

Dennis line for sure

[@samhainbones4972]

Lol, kind of reminds me of dale from king of the hill

[@ontxtteredwxngs]

i was thinking mst3k.

[@chris16durban]

"And thus nobody would ever try cut you off in traffic... because of the implication."

[@None-Trick_Pony]

I can imagine this being a part of the D.E.N.N.I.S. system, though it's probably a tad too similar to "Neglect emotionally".

[@danielthrasher]

That ending took me by surprise. Absolutely brilliant.

[@jibbyjizz]

Thank you for your input Daniel

[@rudrapratapsingh2903]

Hi Dani! Is this your real name?

[@nitbitnathan1399]

thats a you

[@kennethbeck94]

Danny is your true name

[@midnightpearl429]

Ayyy

[@RobinSwede]

the way it transitions after he says "Danny is not my true name" priceless

[@BE_WERM]

The video ends... What do u mean by transition after he said that?

[@minetech4898]

@@BE_WERM the 'today now' transition

[@stxrenegade]

666

[@damnstupidoldidiot8776]

I don't really understand.

[@alsocupcakes8885]

@FilmThemesAndScenes They don’t have to be a native English speaker, moron

[@sneaks9150]

Danny didn't actually do anything to the muffins, because you don't want to hurt somebody on live television. He remained calm and collected, and was able to find Jim's car in the parking lot and enable a GPS tracking device onto it. He then detonated a car with a timed explosive right next to Jim's car to make it seem like a failed assassination attempt. Jim moves across country but no matter where he goes, Danny is always right behind him.

[@TheNi-]

i know where you live, boy. Tuesday, July 11th, 2023. i'll be waiting. P.S. i'm just kidding i don;t actually know where you are man, i'm just doing this cause i think its funny.

[@eyyy2271]

lmao

[@heathcliffO_o]

Danny is not his true name.

[@Resi1ience]

​@@TheNi- It was not funny.

[@mr_brass_monkey]

that wasn't in the movie 😢

[@Mr.Monacle]

Oh my god, the facial expressions from the actor playing Jim are so good. The look of concern and recognition every time he mentions a thing you can do is so good.

[@swishasweetrold]

His names not jim

[@wxbrainiac]

Swish the characters name is jim

[@flyingspinners1]

All of this is part of his cold calculating masterplan to make him suffer and live in fear by listing everything he could do to him

[@ShotByFemto]

Actor? This is real man. Please don't misinform people during such trying times.

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎E‎‎‎‎

[@wallj8720]

*"Those muffins were pretty good, weren't they Jim?"*

[@marcoshoffman6742]

How many did you eat?

[@drowsybird6663]

Danny is not my true name.

[@Iris-jw3ci]

Dddddrrr

[@theblandcharlie822]

How about another joke, Jim?

[@justforcomments3155]

They're TO DIE FOR

[@Idrathernot.]

''you'll feel the urge to slam into the jerk's car right where you see the baby seat."

[@noahclark7603]

John Wick I was reading the comments as the video played and reached this one just in time for him to say it. I’m not sure what it means. I’ll look out for some baby seats tomorrow

[@MGOFor3ver]

@@noahclark7603 Maybe because his/her baby is more important than his own life?

[@littleboots9800]

My mum hates those "baby on board," or worse, "little princess on board," signs. As if you're gonna be like, "well I was just gonna drive recklessly with no care and attention completely without concern for your life, my life or my car, but now I know you have a kid in there I'll drive like a normal human being." And they come off as really smug too. Like, "I have managed to procreate!" as if most other adults haven't also.

[@gannonmcintosh3216]

The near in blood the nearer bloody you just made me hate baby on board stickers congrats

[@kalks4334]

@@littleboots9800 You just made me hate your mum, congrats.

[@breadcrumbhoarder]

My god this is so well structured, it starts with the muffins, “there’s nothing I hate more than being cut off”, “a guy gave me the middle finger after I cut him off, I recognized him from television”, and ending on the muffins. God tier economic script

[@isiahs9312]

Chisma

[@vladtheimpaler9118]

Damn didn’t even notice all those details! Good eye

[@SabreVDM]

Chekhov's gun in action.

[@baconboy486]

Thanks for this summary, I didn't even realise this after watching

[@mchaney2]

The fact that he said "true" name instead of "real" name at the end adds the perfect spice of creepiness to this hilarious gumbeaux

[@gatztopher]

It sounds so demonic, like he's gone completely insane and imagines he's the embodiment of some kind of supernatural force of evil

[@SmartWentCrazy]

Very Dennis Reynolds sounding.

[@alphabulblax1649]

That plot twist elevated this from a funny little sketch to an ingenious short film.

[@stevebalmer8888]

exactly my thoughts. I haven't seen that level of writing or thought put out into a mini sketch like that before. Even the golden days of College Humour were well written ,like the grammar nazi one, but not as tightly and well through perfectly written like this one in my opinion. Absolute gold, and acting for the most part is right on point.

[@benjaminharder4406]

i want to like but you have 666 likes

[@matthewhamilton2913]

@@benjaminharder4406 you can like now

[@benjaminharder4406]

@@matthewhamilton2913 thanks

[@Aviatorreeeeeeeeedkakka]

@@benjaminharder4406 like now. Let's get it to 420k

[@MyoticTesseract]

Jim’s face changed as soon as he said “1996” lmao

[@thephilosopherstrein]

lololol

[@JasminMiettunen]

@Sir Reginald the third what what uh, most people know it’s fake when they click on a video published by the onion

[@elinquisidorperseverante6835]

@Sir Reginald the third what what Did you bite the onion?

[@yashnagar4324]

@Sllort L

[@darkcomet1607]

@Sllort you are cringe

[@blakebailey2447]

The scroll at the bottom is hilarious too. "Danny says: try setting up fake Facebook account in drivers name, harassing co-workers" lmao

[@franklyyourewrong2803]

*“But then I remembered he’s human. He’s got a family, that loves him just like me. That’s an exploitable weakness.”*

[@BelleFlower15]

I'd love to see this as a horror movie. A person being stalked and tormented with no idea why only to find out it's because they honked at someone unfairly in traffic ten years ago. 😂

[@yenabao]

Unhinged movie that's coming out seems to be similar 😂😂

[@pocobull]

You may have wanted to include a "spoiler alert" warning before posting that message. Now there's no reason for me to go see the movie :(

[@yenabao]

Uh...it's fine...I haven't watch the movie either lol, the premise just look similar to the trailer. I'm sure you can still watch it.

[@blazedafirecat]

@@yenabao yeah I thought of that movie too and all I've seen is the trailer so it should be alright ahaha

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Duel

[@djtrixen]

Danny is not my true name. LOL

[@CallMeMrRook]

djtrixen one of THE greatest punchlines delivered !! ever...in the history of ..ever!!

[@sergeantkipling]

ˢᵖᵃʳᵉ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᶦᶫᵈʳᵉᶰ, ʲᵘˢᵗ ʰᶦᵈᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒᵈᶦᵉˢ

[@TheRealArya]

Oh man, this just made me cry with laughter, fucking genius

[@jauxro]

the video cut off at the exact right time lmao

[@sterlingsilver5937]

😂

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

After taking Danny's courses I realized that drivers with busy lives do not have the time to manage their anger and remain safe on the road. So I started a consulting business that lets busy drivers sub-contract out to us the time intensive surveillance, planning, and thoughtful response. We are overflowing with work.

[@1lovesoni]

Hmmmm...interesting idea

[@ladygodieva6298]

There's a movie, I think it's from the mid-late 90s, called Dirty Work about a guy who starts a revenge-for-hire business. It doesn't get as dark as this video does though 😆

[@mike74h]

I'd be careful about starting a business that could cut into Danny's. Very careful.

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

Sorry for the long delay in responding to all of your thoughtful comments, we landed a consulting job with an aerospace company that has taken all our time.

[@InnerGiggles]

@@Kyle-sr6jmyou’re a brilliant opportunist. Space X is lucky you agreed to their terms.

[@kylewolnik1789]

It’s hilarious to see Jim slowly realize what was actually going on

[@cousincraig653]

He can’t escape death and he doesn’t even know who you are ... “That is a great driving tip”

[@scottg4520]

AND the police will start suspecting said victim.

[@peanutrecord6989]

I've said it before most people have depression, lure them in a bath, put gloves on, plug in a toaster, yeet the toaster, boom it's a suicide This is a joke I feel the need to say this so people don't think me cruel and insensitive

[@rewrittenbytes1616]

@@peanutrecord6989 i think you need help lmao weirdass joke

[@nooneofrelevance.1310]

@@rewrittenbytes1616 Shut up, you're watching an onion video.

[@rewrittenbytes1616]

@@nooneofrelevance.1310 and that matters because?

[@afterpasthours7504]

Chances are, following his principles he probably did nothing to those muffins but it’s the ultimate endgame of letting him know that he’s patient, and willing to go as far as he needs to get to him and cementing in the fact that he’s out there, and always will be.

[@Nikenik2001]

I think you're right. The muffins were probably okay. And after 3-4 days of thinking he's about to die "Danny" breaks into his house and poisons all of his food.

[@emeraldfinder5]

the muffins were probably just laced with a slow-acting laxative, and the real trap is in the man’s bathroom

[@seraphim108]

@@Tringledingle yes, you must keep him suffering in fear.

[@lizardlegend42]

@CuckingFunts . yes dude, you realise everyone here's talking within the context of the joke right?

[@lizardlegend42]

@CuckingFunts . dude... shut up. And they're not *telling* jokes, they're weaving the narrative of the joke in the video further. It's not meant to be an explicit attempt at humour or anything, just a fun conversation. Are you dense or something to not be able to tell that?

[@305cc]

The fact that ppl have reacted to this thinking it’s real is mind blowing 😂

[@rolandndifor3248]

People don't think it's real. People are just playing along.

[@bongj]

What do you mean??

[@Cert1f1edM1dget]

@Roland Too hard of a concept to comprehend.

[@person5110]

I had to KZbin the whole video to make sure because a 20 second Insta reel made it seem like it was real lol. But now I know 😂😂

[@heszedjim9699]

Onions just quality satire

[@theansweris9]

The acting is spot on every single time. This is exactly the kind of delivery and hand motions people make on these things. Such a great channel

[@bertross9727]

..apart from the host prematurely turning to look at the muffins. Otherwise, pure gold.

[@danielul05]

Great writing and and acting on this one.

[@benciccarelli9870]

danielul05 not great writing in your comment

[@MireVale]

Ben Ciccarelli your reply could be better

[@immortalsun]

All their videos are fucking fantastic.

[@legendarytat8278]

Wait, they aren't real? Like, real news?

[@immortalsun]

@@legendarytat8278 No, they’re real.

[@user-if4cw2bi8p]

Today now needs a revival

[@RpiesSPIES]

Clifford Banes also needs In the Know revitalized.

[@antichound4904]

It would be a be politically correct shitstorm nowadays.

[@Steel0079]

Yes !

[@BudderB0y2222]

AntiC Hound No it wouldn’t... the onion has never shied away from satire

[@astralhaze8936]

Yeah but what of the muffins

[@LoneStarStinger]

Lmao… They all deserve oscars. Hollywood failed to find these gems. 💀

[@ukiyo5283]

I wonder how many people started off thinking this was a regular road rage video before quickly realizing this is the best advice they've ever gotten

[@cwcpants140]

“Anger is just one letter away from danger” this is actually really insightful, even in context of this satire.

[@Fenrize]

Deadly anger

[@360.Tapestry]

take away the _D_ and you've got nothing

[@daddymememaster5432]

Anger leads to hate, hate... to suffering.

[@chottabeamm]

@@Fenrize you're the type who throw gasoline to put out a fire aren't you?

[@Fenrize]

@@chottabeamm Some people just want to watch the world burn ;)

[@StamfordBridge]

Those two hosts are amazing actors.

[@probablynotabigtoe9407]

I'm not sure it really requires acting skills to emulate a news anchors persona

[@marks6663]

I know the man was a real anchor is real life.

[@Gloomdrake]

Porkchop Sandwiches are we no true Scotsmanning acting, now? If it’s good it’s good

[@leaf111]

danny too

[@robertoremelli]

Watch porkin usa

[@patrickbateman1660]

This whole skit is written better than 99% of movies today. In less than 3 minutes they fit so much.

[@Bestialce2007]

I'm not going to save this video under my "Comedy" category, but under "Art"

[@nateyj11]

This was quite possibly the best Onion video I've ever seen.

[@nolanlewis5311]

Yes.

[@bloodyfx1065]

You haven't seen enough

[@DarrenSemotiuk]

One of the best singles. BUT "Porkin' Across America" as a series? GOAT.

[@420JackG]

You gotta go watch "Kill all the Grabblers"

[@Doom_Hawk]

@@DarrenSemotiuk Add Sex House to that. Porkin is my favourite, but Sex House is just as great.

[@johnmason8372]

"He has a family that loves him..and that's an exploitable weakness".

[@Zyphon]

That ending was such a plot twist lol

[@flagcabbage6571]

“…and that’s an exploitable weakness!” Oh my god that’s too good

[@TheDudeSmashTrash]

Would’ve been hilarious if this was the last skit we ever saw Jim in

[@Tringledingle]

No because that's not how danny works

[@tencolorpen]

@@Tringledingle danny is not his true name.

[@johneden2033]

Don't worry, Jim meets his end in Porkin' Across America.

[@tdrxy]

He just wanted to let him know he's out there

[@fgabriel8635]

Would have been a good retirement skit

[@shanish82]

anger is 1 letter away from danger...... MIND BLOWN!💥

[@stervenmealey1097]

was looking for this

[@bethdoesart]

Ya just gotta add the d

[@needed8974]

Rebeth. ia sex from anger equals danger

[@PotawatomiThunderNew]

But pronounce it the way you pronounce anger, just put a D at the beginning of it.

[@ryanspercussion]

and danger is one letter away from donger!!!

[@olaoluwaafolayan6554]

I love the actor who played the driving instructor. That slightly psychotic look in his eyes was perfect! And the way his delivered his lines at the end there gave that twist the perfect punch lol!

[@tsemiu]

I tried the "killing their neighbor" thing. It was a hassle! It was an old woman and was pretty easy but apparently she was babysitting her grandkids who invited their friends over for a sleepover. Let me tell you, 7 year olds are are fast and loud. By the time I got the last one I was exhausted! 8 kids and one old lady takes its toll on you! My arm was sore from all the slashing and apparently, the guy just left for a 2 year business trip to Shanghai to get a new business off the ground. He missed the whole thing! I just gave up on it.

[@bepisthescienceman4202]

You see you did it wrong you need to use explosives

[@evegreenification]

At least you tried. That’s all that matters in God’s eyes.

[@OurNewestMember]

Ah! Sounds like you let the situation get the best of you! But don't be discouraged. Next time just _relax_ ! ...And ask yourself, "...what kind of news story would he have to see to slip into an irreparable, existential depression?" ...So then you can _focus_ and work your way backwards from messing with his Internet connection every morning for 3.5 years so he finally resumes delivery of the newspaper, where he'll eventually find the headline and photo about the tragic loss of all those children from next door because he insisted on leaving for the business trip one day early, and now he'll always have that image of of the kids and grandma piled up at the side door of _his_ empty house crying for help, where no one was home to call life-saving care for them. As his sense of personal worth slowly disintegrates over the next few decades, you can all-but-guarantee his unraveling intellect will become infected with the repeat question, "should I have been more consistent using my turn signal?"

[@1simo93521]

Oh I've missed you Onion. Please let's never fight again.

[@dierobyn5717]

Simo are u Finnish?

[@weswheel4834]

@@dierobyn5717 Of course he was, you can tell by the full stop at the end. (I love that joke, it was sweeede).

[@alexandermarc5641]

@Human Resources - Relax, dude. I think you need to keep your anger in czech.

[@nittis323]

Oman, this conversation got heated

[@Deadpoolio47]

These actors are better than most A listers.

[@jonavuka]

well it helps that the writing is so good

[@jacksonphillips7651]

my guess is that lower budget sketches like this and studio c rely on good acting not expensive special effects like in marvel and DC. Not that i have anything against those movies i freaking love marvel movies.

[@minmz]

damn i really wish this were real

[@GrubQueenMarisa]

@Johnny Dong nah, pretty sure they're meant to be popcorn movies. Entertaining, but without much depth.

[@matthewhamilton2913]

@@GrubQueenMarisa They still have depth if you really look for them, like Civil War

[@zotharr]

"Putting yourself in their shoes, becoming them, taking their life" Oh, boy, that escalated quickly

[@louie5581]

"Danny is not my true name" had me dyingggg

[@snomangaming]

I've been doing this for years, thanks for the advice!

[@prototypeinheritance515]

love your videos

[@Die-Coughman]

road revenge is a good mechanic isnt it

[@anthonyhu6705]

It's like they always say, Good game design is killing the road rage persons' neighbours!

[@thesleepiesthead]

Are you still doing it..?

[@SixxThirtyFive]

It was YOU?!

[@daftzilla]

"Those muffins were pretty good weren't they Jim? How many did you eat?" "...I...I don't know..."

[@tempo1889]

2:23 Jim knows he's in trouble.

[@Ariel-uj3kk]

It’s the “Danny is not my true name” that gets me every time

[@chaselanier7673]

I won't lie. This is definitely me when I'm driving

[@faithismine128]

Chase Lanier Then I hope you never lay down on your horn behind me.

[@lordofthecats6397]

You really shouldn't plot and drive at the same time. Have a passenger tell them that you'll stalk them next time you're availible

[@theworldoverheavan560]

@@lordofthecats6397 lol

[@shrikanthsashikumar233]

Soflooooo

[@supokanatm3435]

I won't lie. This is definitely me when i'm driving

[@LSGproductions713]

"Danny is not my true name" (end) WTF?! lol

[@watamidoing8131]

LoneStarGamer Anger danger Dan-danger

[@geo9994]

"Danny" is trying to say Jim swore at him on the road in 1996 and so he got on his show and swapped muffins and give himself a fake name

[@naruii5160]

Geo 999 i think the video explained that clearly

[@Holistic-Hallucinations]

@@naruii5160 duh but the op didnt get it. That's why he explained lol give him a break

[@naruii5160]

@@Holistic-Hallucinations Nope

[@jbass986]

"Its important to be calm, cool and collected. You'll feel the urge to slam into their car wherever you see the baby seat." That's the coldest sentence I've ever heard out of a human mouth.

[@CaylexT]

I've seen this dozens if not hundreds of times, and I only just realised that Jim says "there's nothing I hate more than getting cut off", which is what "Danny" did to Jim in 1996 to prompt the middle finger.

[@Mister_B_]

Glad Jim survived the procedure to reverse his pig-man transformation. It's a shame he won't survive the week though.

[@DarrenSemotiuk]

I think this was pre-pork. He may have survived the muffin poisoning via an accidental mixup at the blood bank and got pig as an eerie foreshadowing of his dark future

[@kadinfehr785]

Darren Semotiuk no, I don’t think so. Jim’s having a second shot at (human) life, don’t spoil the mood for him!

[@OneMeanArtist]

"...something that says, you're out there and you're unpredictable."

[@christianm7250]

Sent this to my dad and he said “this is pretty amateur there are easier ways to invoke fear”

[@zzzzzz-zv9ev]

Its not fera but a oya ce not knlwing who

[@Slafren]

this man's a supervillain. it's hilarious

[@CodPast]

I took Danny Preston's 2 week driving course and it's absolutely wonderful! His advice on bypassing security and disabling someone's brake line is the best in town!

[@zapkvr]

*brake*

[@romeodonnn]

@@zapkvr A Man Said Break Light 😂🤣

[@olcuqap1789]

Danny is not his true name

[@rice579]

"Anger is just one letter away from danger" Hold on this guy is actually spitting facts

[@Redskinsrock2689ify]

S laughter

[@dangerxcom]

And danger is one letter away from DangerX!

[@cat-.-]

Anger with a D is danger

[@jamesgrimes4587]

2:43 the foreboding head nibble bobble made famous by Homelander.

[@nedrezap3379]

This was before “the boys”….

[@Hyperion4K]

he even kinda looks like him too 😂

[@High_Key]

“Find out where he lives and rearrange his furniture to scare him a bit” “Brilliant and so safe. Wow”

[@idustie4554]

So well written. It comes around full circle when the host says he hates getting cut off and that event prompted the guest to work his way to appear on the show.

[@dirtydish6642]

Danny: Danny is not my true name. Me: He sure gots his long game down.

[@galantreentrant]

"anger is one letter away from danger" this is seriously a gem

[@isaiah9666]

0:17 I think something some other people are seeming to miss is that Jim cuts off "Danny" to say how everybody hates being cut off Onion is genius

[@tylerbonser7686]

Revenge is a dish best served several years later.

[@spiritualbeetle3904]

That plate of revenge would definitely be cold by then

[@americansoviet9908]

@@spiritualbeetle3904 well why would you give them a warm meal?

[@legionxxiii3570]

When your on the run never run ... walk

[@sugarvampire]

In case you missed the small text, here are all of Danny's expert advice! Good luck on the road, folks! 😁 0:37 - 0:48 - 1:00 - 1:26 - 1:35 - 1:58 - 2:10

[@DarkAraque]

Thanks 1:35 is the most creepy "taking their life" as stealing their identity 100%

[@athenaparthenos9092]

Careful, he's a hero

[@lianne2600]

this is the plot of "beef"

[@Sannandreo]

Dude I think this video has the best like to dislike ratio I have ever seen

[@alejrandom6592]

"And that is an exploitable weakness "

[@deadpixelc]

Guy:"Kill the neighbour." TV Host:"That's a great driving tip!"

[@nataliad4378]

This is the plot of beef

[@cruisingscenesandtakingbea4197]

The onion had the best casting around, legit.

[@DanielFuentes-mr3nn]

Jim's neighbors have been disappearing every day since 1996

[@TheCreedBratton]

Lol death follows him everywhere

[@dragon32210]

Anger is one letter away from Danger. That is one piece of brilliant right there Onion

[@matt_l2003]

"I call them every night from a payphone and then recite a series of cryptic numbers that don't mean anything." "Calm, cool, collected, I love it!" LMFAO

[@katerandazzo8432]

I can’t believe Netflix stole the plot of Beef from this clip.

[@altofmoleperson]

Damn, I was actually kind of invested in this guy’s whole story. Like, twisted sociopath with a history of over-complicated revenge quests becomes a defensive driving instructor to murder the person you cut off? Fantastic, could be a movie.

[@ieatlemons288]

Yeah this is a very credible news source

[@moksh7302]

Anger is just one letter away from danger. That is some higher level of philosophical shit

[@apr2031]

ive seen this like a dozen times and im convinced these are the three best actors who have ever lived

[@luxurylifestyle1918]

*"How many did u eat?"* 😂😂😂

[@Bonez0r]

* trails off * "What? I don't..., I don't know." *looks at the half-eaten muffins with a worried look *

[@icantthinkofaname5950]

uncle bad touch the best muffins

[@xtosu9643]

I feel like this is mocking the fact that interviewers don't actually give a shit what the guest says.

[@grenadedevourer]

Darren Ngo It is

[@xcaliber6002]

neither do the Producers, neither do the viewers. nobody cares what is on these types of shows. UNLESS there are puppies

[@zapkvr]

It's called satire. Some thing americans struggle with. To most of them, there is either truth or lies and nothing in between

[@pandemicphilly60]

​@@zapkvr He knows what satire is

[@swansultana]

Netflix original BEEF summarized in three minutes hehehe

[@Whatsayoutuber]

The onion is such a perfect name for this media company bc many of their satires have so many layers that just make them so delightful and funny 😂😂😂 it feels like a rare thing where you can find a 1-3 min skit and spend double or triple that time in the comment section laughing and musing over the different layers and which are funnier or more insightful 😂😂

[@yy-gw4eh]

1:37 'danny recommends putting yourself in their shoes, becoming them, taking their lives.' 2:49 danny is not my true name So danny stole some other driver's identity, became a defensive driving instructor, got famous enough to get invited to today now, somehow poisoned the cupcakes, made the news guy eat the cupcakes, waited until the end for the perfect revenge. Now that's dedication.

[@siddharthkrishnan3317]

Driver’s neighbor*

[@GeraltOfLibya]

*Hahaa, Calm, collected, cool, I love it!!*

[@hydrocarbon8272]

*host realizes he knows who killed his last 3 neighbors*

[@joelbattig1175]

He didnt do anything to those muffins just like those cryptic numbers that didnt mean anything. He just made him feel like he did something

[@hakimdiwan5101]

Obsession it's called obsession

[@ducstatiba2]

You can see how the host face changes, like he's remembering something Nice acting

[@trerossi5508]

This video is like the song Hey Ya, where it sounds real upbeat and happy, but actually has a dark meaning

[@microwaveman7414]

The onion is pure genius tbh. Easily one of my favorite channels on KZbin

[@1schwererziehbar1]

Perfect from start to finish. Welcome back, Onion!

[@garfoofian8507]

Your pfp scares me

[@KingDoomfist]

The man recovered from a full-blown Kafkaesque porcine metamorphosis and you think you can just snuff him with a couple of muffins? FOOL!

[@AdnanAli-rb3lt]

Maybe he is not trying to snuff him and just planting a seed of doubt. explosm.net/comics/3207/ or maybe not, and this is just the beginning of a slow agonizing journey to a fate worse than death.

[@tissuepaper9962]

The Metaporkasis or Die Ferkelandlung

[@Leo1239150]

Claudia Solomon yeah, kinda. As opposed to "Die Verwandlung", the metamorphosis' original German title. I would've gone for "die Verferkelung" though

[@UnkleRiceYo]

@@Leo1239150 I'm so lost here, can someone explain what you're all talking about?

[@jonnytheshark]

A dashcam can be your best friend in these situations. Every important detail to analyze and use for a better revenge.

[@inarathussain4315]

I can FEEL the passive aggressiveness in the video.

[@Aaron-kk4xy]

if you like it check out the parenting one. searching up "the onion parenting" should get you where you wanna be.

[@FGuilt]

BEST. EPISODE. EVER. Danny is not my true name. Cut to black. HA HA HA!

[@rabidlorax1650]

How many of those did you *eat*

[@Lucifronz]

That was fucking fantastic. Probably their best video.

[@thesuperdoge2476]

Him saying "Danny is not my true name" while not showing his face is a perfect cherry on the cake

[@galvetheirondragon1929]

As soon as he said "How many muffins did you eat Danny?" Someone decided to tire screech somewhere outside and it sounded like a minecraft cave sound.

[@gallicus]

“Danny recommends putting yourself in their shoes, becoming them, taking their life”

[@GenevieveThornton]

2:30 Jim about to shit his pants 😂

[@HellstreamGames]

"Now he cant escape death and he has no idea of who you are." "Thats a great driving tip!" Amazing

[@jeanesingsjazz]

I’m undecided whether the writing here is creative or psychotic. Either/or, it’s well thought out And brilliantly executed.

[@EpicGhostShadow]

'Anger is one letter away from danger' I'm dead

[@themeepchannelofrandomepic2974]

So is Jim