GOOD CHILDREN: Episode 17: Slenderman Is A Twink

Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella were so pretty and so smart and got good grades and dated all the popular boys in high school. Ppl in their school TOTALLY HATED THEM so they planned to lock them in a closet forever. Unless you send this message to 10 other people, they will come to your room tonight and harmonize. They will show up every night. You have seven minutes to send this. LOLJK! In this very SCARY episode of Good Children, Andrew and Joe unpack some of their earliest fears, and a few fears they have today. Ranging from chain messages to intimacy, basements to rejection, no holds are barred.
HOSTS:
Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
PRODUCER:
Joe Hegyes
LISTEN:
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Good Children make bad adults. Childhood best friends Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella dive into their shared history of anxiety, food courts, wigs, and trying their best to do everything right as adolescent closeted queer kids growing up on the south shore of Long Island. With soundbytes from over two decades of archival footage, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll grow up all over again alongside these Good Children.

[@GoodChildrenPod]

What was your childhood fear?

[@piperh4334]

michael jackson, constantly thinking I was being scouted for disney channel, and that one episode of suite life with the ghosts

[@GoodChildrenPod]

@@piperh4334 THE GHOST OF SUITE 613

[@palo5a]

death definitely

[@aidantardif8059]

For some reason Alice and wonderland messed me up as a child

[@prodbycha]

letting my feet go off the bed in fear the mf from Dont Look Under The Bed was gonna get me..smfh that movie needed an R rating

[@mjbello17]

"It was a full log that slipped down this leg" I AM PISSING LAUGHING

[@GoodChildrenPod]

the story went on so much longer and got so much more disgusting

[@isabelroemer]

Joe babe the clip where you were covered in glitter dancing in slow motion was giving “this is the skin of a killer Bella” IMMEDIATELY

[@GoodChildrenPod]

i'm actually such an edward now that i think about it

[@GoodChildrenPod]

i couldn't sleep last night thinking about this comment

[@isabelroemer]

@@GoodChildrenPod “as if you could out ____ me” what’s in the blank Joe we wanna know

[@isabelroemer]

@@GoodChildrenPod not me giving you nightmares after this specific episode

[@Sophersxd]

Andrew’s laugh is everything

[@GoodChildrenPod]

i agree

[@xoStarsandRocketsxo]

My topic suggestion was chosen!!!!!! This deserves full attention for my first watch. I'll be jiggling my mouse on my work laptop for the next 41.47.

[@GoodChildrenPod]

THANK YOU!!!!

[@collins2404]

Y’all should do a Midnights release party !

[@GoodChildrenPod]

stop...... we should..

[@cheekynandosss581]

im working night shift rn and yall have come to my rescue !!! love u

[@GoodChildrenPod]

[@n0tfadeaway]

JOE my two worst fears as a child were death and being drafted. I gasped

[@GoodChildrenPod]

like why would anyone even want to draft me😭😭😭😭😭

[@victoria-e]

would u guys consider having a midnight release party/Halloween event 👀

[@batteryacidyouslime5197]

literally the best possible medicine for my last day of covid quarantine love u besties

[@GoodChildrenPod]

you did it!!!!

[@resilientform2005]

Andrew's face is so gorg

[@libbyw6855]

Do you think that me binging this entire podcast is indicative of where my mental health is at? Cause I’m obsessed

[@GoodChildrenPod]

yes check with a therapist stat

[@picklechipps5632]

The frickin title holy moly joe

[@GoodChildrenPod]

did i lie

[@hannahperocchi8882]

I found you guys like not even 2 weeks ago and when I tell you I have nearly watched every single episode I’m OBSESSED YALL ARE SOOOO GOOOOODDDD !!❤

[@kylem6165]

The Carmen winstead voice makes me laugh so much. It was like so camp to make her sound like that.

[@GoodChildrenPod]

carmen winstead ruined my life i can't laugh about it

[@jennashanley4574]

I cannot believe you didn't give us a trigger warning about moms cleaning on Saturday mornings

[@eduardovazquez-romero1513]

I love you guys. Truly wish you both nothing but the absolute best. You bring so much happiness to us, that you genuinely deserve the world. ❤️

[@GoodChildrenPod]

thank you

[@dahliasdarkside1695]

Lmao this horror music playing over a night clubbing is sending me

[@GoodChildrenPod]

euphoria season 3

[@Stevis-eo2dt]

You guys are such comfort people.

[@AmyRandazzo]

adore the exchange of Andrew saying "Ok so he's gonna do the little French voice..." and Joe doing it, undeterred. like........ ya can't fake that level of familiarity

[@rickyhill1315]

I love you so much!! So funny!😂❤

[@idab6864]

Andrews nightmare genuinely just spooked me so badly. It's 1am and I'm terrified in my bed right now

[@jordanbuckfruit]

There’s literally a Ray Bradbury short story with essentially the same concept as Andrew’s footstep nightmares

[@thatkidsvlog]

Joe your French accent is so good and funny haha love it!

[@GoodChildrenPod]

oui oui

[@SUPERCOCORAINBOW]

The soundtrack for this episode was GIVING.

[@GoodChildrenPod]

i simply couldn't help myself

[@hly23]

no yeah i literally shit myself this morning

[@GoodChildrenPod]

slayyyyy

[@kelseeebelseee]

I keep seeing tweets POP OFF with hot takes that you guys have brought up, like the whole Susan Boyle being ugly but talented thing from last week. LIKE could you BE more influential? People are stealing your jokes out here. That’s the 3rd time I’ve seen a tweet about something you guys have brought up

[@GoodChildrenPod]

we live for the applause🤷‍♂️

[@JohnCena-bu6gk]

Joe saying boo at the beginning genuinely scared me lmao

[@GoodChildrenPod]

sorry

[@lizzylolhearts]

I loveee little French boy voice 😫

[@GoodChildrenPod]

thank u *said in a french voice*

[@abbyalmaguer3629]

i feel like you guys could be really good therapists for me bc we have a lot of the same issues but i’m not as self aware!

[@taren1d]

the music is killing me why am i scared of a basement ive never even seen

[@collins2404]

Okay so I used to play the same game as the Murder in the Dark, but I think we called it Monsters and Villagers! I wanna get a group together now

[@GoodChildrenPod]

i would literally be hysterically crying

[@aidantardif8059]

What microphones and cameras do you guys use????

[@GoodChildrenPod]

iphones + blue yeti mics!

[@aljade9545]

personally i feel like im a jessa or a shoshanna

[@GoodChildrenPod]

shosh is the dream

[@griffins.8540]

no because becoming hannah horvath is my nightmare

[@GoodChildrenPod]

it's ruining my life

[@timurbam111]

my reoccurring nightmare was about zurg from toy story

[@GoodChildrenPod]

real

[@emmalxlly3764]

Please do an episode on Jersey Shore if y'all watched I need y'all to discuss it!

[@mirandadawnporter]

burning question did you guys have a Most Popular Girls in School youtube videos phase

[@GoodChildrenPod]

yes AND i was just reminded that my french boy accent is a Saison Margeurite impression

[@taren1d]

i just remembered i didn't know how to forward texts so i would write FWD FWD and then retype the entire message. why why why

[@lalala9268]

7:12 ummmmm okay biceps i don't know if i'd be scared or aroused in this dream

[@cmetje]

JOE LOOKED LIKE SANTA CLAUSE FROM “THE SANTA CLAUSE” IN THE DARK😭😭

[@GoodChildrenPod]

this is so chillingly accurate

[@jenniferg5638]

My recurring dream as a child was that I had to run like a 5k race while carrying a pumpkin and for some reason that was a nightmare for me and I would wake up terrified.

[@juanaguas7728]

Imagine having a latina mom. That's a NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@jakeloucks2377]

The French twink voice cracks me up 🤣

[@lakitu412]

the girls wanna know if you’ve been to splish splash on long island!!!!!

[@GoodChildrenPod]

splish splash missed us

[@savannahkbarry]

Come to Texas 🔫🔫🔫

[@palo5a]

wait you guys never even smoked ouid before???

[@GoodChildrenPod]

the vocal fry didn't happen on it's own

[@cheekynandosss581]

@@GoodChildrenPod AHAHAH

[@hly23]

@@GoodChildrenPod LMAO

[@sararocks3126]

come to florida for a live show!!!

[@GoodChildrenPod]

we would LOOOOVE to