Good Will Hunting | 'What Are You So Scared Of?' (HD) - Matt Damon, Minnie Driver | MIRAMAX

Skylar (Minnie Driver) asks Will (Matt Damon) to come to California, but his fear of abandonment may destroy them.
In this scene: Will (Matt Damon), Skylar (Minnie Driver)
About Good Will Hunting:
The most brilliant mind at America’s top university isn’t a student, he’s the kid who cleans the floors. Will Hunting is a headstrong, working-class genius who is failing the lessons of life. After one too many run-ins with the law, Will’s last chance is a psychology professor, who might be the only man who can reach him. Finally forced to deal with his past, Will discovers that the only one holding him back is himself.
Starring, in alphabetical order: Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Cole Hauser, Matt Damon, Minnie Driver, Robin Williams, Stellan Skarsgård
About Miramax:
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Good Will Hunting | 'What Are You So Scared Of?' (HD) - Matt Damon, Minnie Driver | MIRAMAX
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[@russell7790]

When he tells her he got cigarettes put out on him. And the way her facial expression drops when she says “I didn’t know that”. Kills me so fucking hard. Such an amazing performance

[@why_i_game]

I've been rewatching all the scenes on KZbin, and I forgot about this one from the movie. Seriously powerful and well-acted stuff here. Their interactions when he told her about the cigarettes being put out on him was really incredible.

[@blissfulbeats3690]

yes, this is off the charts, I just watched it yesterday, and realized how good this scene is

[@fleskel]

@The Rockall Times Jesus, hope you're doing better now, keep your head up, fuck those monsters.

[@yvesheinrich5013]

I don't know. It looked more like she was just exhausted and desperate because of the bad things she learned that happened to Will, the more he keeps asking her about the things she presumably wants to know.

[@Andy-yv7bu]

The Rockall Times get better man

[@vikingjedi573]

He's afraid of not being good enough. Of being rejected again. Of being hurt again. Working at that crappy job and hiding is how he protects himself.

[@dominikdeluga5268]

Wow dude... wow...

[@batirtzeurkiaga4973]

He's just sick of it. That's what happens when you didn't get the love at home in the first place. Makes you think about many youngsters out there.😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

[@stevelux9854]

Aim low enough and you can hit the target every time.

[@waragainstmyself1159]

@willie billie I guarantee if anyone is an incel here, its you.

[@jamesdean922]

@willie billie fuck off, he makes a good point.

[@nerdbashingtime1536]

When she says “I didn’t know that” then starts crying is so powerful

[@nerdbashingtime1536]

@willie billie who hurt you? It's not your fault It's not your fault It's not your fault It's not your fault

[@stephenolder4552]

@willie billie oh, is incel gonna be one of those words that we call anyone that says something that we dont like? Thus losing any meaning behind the word itself due to its overuse. I just wanna make sure cause i get a bit behind with my internet insults due to having a life.

[@stephengrigg5988]

@@stephenolder4552 really? Because you seem very emotionally responsive to the word. You remind me of white women comparing Karen to the N word

[@stephenolder4552]

@@stephengrigg5988 no, im just amused by peoples stupidity. Someone says something i dont like? They must be every negative thing i can think of, regardless of if it applies or not. Perhaps you do the same flawed thing and thats why you felt the need to respond. Just because i point out the flaws in people, doesnt mean im overly emotional about it. Im just calling a spade a spade here.

[@stephengrigg5988]

@@stephenolder4552 I think your point came off as very accusatory, and aggressive.. like many KZbin comments. But you actually do have a point, and I can't even say you're wrong. I get where you're coming from. In the future, just be more diplomatic, and you won't distract from your points. You're very articulate, and I see you're intelligent. From one stephen to another lol

[@Sombrit4]

If you play this on your speakers you can trick your neighbours into thinking you have a life

[@daeremcyemcy6349]

😂😂😂

[@starwarfan8342]

True

[@thatgirlreacts5465]

🙃😄😄😄

[@timcolvin2227]

😂👏👏👏😂

[@AndrewVaughanOfficial]

💀💀💀

[@teamselfdevelopment3459]

ANYONE who suffered abandonment/abuse or neglect as a child, or even as an adult KNOWS what this scene is about. They can feel it in their stomach and their soul. “You’re afraid I won’t love you back”.

[@mr.anderson6040]

Exactly unfortunately

[@fightcinema3917]

my dad reminds me of will

[@lewislabuff8862]

I went through this except with a foster brother

[@28vasko]

Yep!!! Regardless of the manner or the degree of the trauma! It’s there’s and you feel it!

[@rangojackson3798]

And it’ll cause you to do just this right here….

[@15lyonrob]

Probably one of the most believable , emotive scenes ever filmed. Amazing acting by both, on of my top 5 films of all time

[@mikewoodson6930]

Name a better movie?

[@MsArun20]

Can u please tell your top 5 movies..

[@vladinosky]

Shawnshank redemption? Perhaps a even higher caliber..

[@99bits46]

@@vladinosky Shawshank? many people saw the ending coming... Without the plot twist, it's an ok movie. Forrest Gump and Pulp Fiction are both rivals to the movie in equal measures.

[@vladinosky]

@@99bits46 The plot twist is clearly not essential. The movie covers the questions of freedom and survival to alienation in a beautiful and smart way. That's why I liked it.

[@DarkSydeDK]

At the end, where she is bent over, in such pain that it manifest physically and she can barely gasp out a sob. Maybe the most believable traumatic break up scene I've ever watched.

[@jamesdefferson]

That sort of acting only comes from real experience of that pain

[@Mira-gu6we]

He is just trauma dumping on her. This is why women should NEVER try to SAVE or FIX effed up men. Let em goto a therapist, women arent fit to fix crazy.

[@tabaxi]

@@Mira-gu6we that's kinda the opposite of what this scene is about though. he's trying actively not to 'trauma dump' on her by not being truthful with him and she's trying to get him to open up and be vulnerable with her. like you're right that partners shouldn't have to save or fix each other but if you go into a relationship thinking that honesty is equivalent to trauma dumping or that your partner is going to be emotionally perfect you'll realize really quick that's not how it works

[@tmc31390]

@@Mira-gu6weyou completely missed the point of the scene. Skyler wanted Will to open up, but he was afraid to do so. In other words, he wasn’t intentionally trying to trauma dump on her.

[@s.g.7572]

Those opening lines where she thinks he's just being coy, playing hard to get, when actually you can so clearly see his walls instantly going up, just brilliant character writing for both of them.

[@Grayback1973]

Minnie Drivers acting is absolutely phenomenal in this scene....WOW!!

[@muybueno6576]

It must be difficult to trust someone like that in real life if they can just act any emotion at the drop of a hat

[@nomaanabdulshukur8660]

Her kind of love someone shows to me , I am going to any place in the world she wants me to

[@alexj2322]

I totally agree. She did an AMAZING job!

[@omnipotato9231]

Where is she nowadays then??

[@Bradoshado]

Lying for real and acting are very different feelings. There is some overlap skillwise, but the ability to lie relies on doing it comfortably which is more of a personality trait than a skill.

[@-Vitalis-]

_... I don't love you._ In other words: _I don't love myself, therefore I can't love others._

[@ginniekinz5401]

It's Candy Time Boys and Girls very true!

[@mrwick379]

Very very true

[@alcapone3212]

No

[@mrwick379]

Goat Man, what? Lol how do you interpret her trying to be a saint instead of a partner? In what way. She was the one opening herself up to be a partner and overlooking his background/shortcomings. Dont get this take of yours at all

[@mrwick379]

Goat Man. Thats a good point however. I dont think she tried to force his hand. She simply figured out his lie about his 12 brothers and that forced his hand. I dont think she intentionally forced his hand in a malicious way or trying to be a saint. But yes she didnt know the best way to deal with his past because she had never encountered someone like him as they are from two different world. So it was more of a case of misunderstanding. And the whole premise of the movie is that Will had a hard time opening up because of the past. He realized it was him not her. Hence the whole turning point in the movie was when Sean gave him the speech of “its not your fault”. So Sean helped him realize his self blame self sabotaging ways which is not loving yourself and in turn not being able to love skylar. But he realizes it in the end hence him driving to California to find her. It was his arc changing not hers. Skylar was great to him. But I see your point too. Good stuff 🤝

[@TheSmurf1973]

It's even more heartbreaking when he says "I don't love you" and she mouths "you do" whilst her world is turning upside down. Great scene!

[@serpentine1983]

Never heard it before. Ty for pointing that out. Makes the scene a lot better. Even though I didn't need to hear it to know that she knew he did actually loved her, so it didn't change anything in the movie for me.

[@FreePalestine1love]

It is so realistic. When the pain is so severe it knocks the wind out of you.

[@neilmccomsey9550]

Wow. I never noticed that.

[@nr7701]

3:44

[@Metusalem979]

Thought she said «you don’t .. (love me?)». But yeah it’s you do

[@erictheviking844]

2:35-2:40 Matt was incredibly expressive in those two seconds. He went from anger, to disbelief, to acknowledgement that she's right, then back to denial.

[@Cnut_the_grape]

it's 5 seconds dumbass

[@JackSprat2323]

Wow there's something really amazing when two people act there arses off. What a scene.They both nailed it

[@ghostfacedude93]

JackSprat2323 ass. You dult

[@erikhelmersen1681]

Feel like there was real emotion here. I dont beleive they were acting. Ben and matt wrote this script.

[@yyguuyg]

their*

[@28Pluto]

@@erikhelmersen1681 Yes, that's was good acting is. The actor's use their REAL emotions and experiences to give a performance that IS real to them in that moment. Anything less than that is easy to identify as lazy/poor acting.

[@telephantasm4070]

The part where she says "I didn't know that". God... It just gets me every time.

[@lucaaz14]

Same

[@baccaruda1970]

And she finally starts crying right as he says he had cigarettes put out on him. When she loses her breath when he tells her she doesn’t love him. Of the fine acting I’ve ever seen in my life, this has to take the cake. She really nails this whole scene.

[@pharoah1100]

If you don’t heal from what hurt you you’ll bleed on other that didn’t cut you... This is psychology at its finest!!! Such a great movie!!!!!

[@Ristopistox]

very good line. i will remember it!

[@robinblue9105]

That's brilliant line. I'll remember it.

[@phuongvu527]

​@Natanbarrosfreitas i don't think so, but it's a good line

[@Mira-gu6we]

True. Hes ruining her life cause he hasnt recovered from his own trauma.

[@garrettprepetit7026]

@@Mira-gu6weyou missed the whole point of this movie

[@jadersoto4166]

Let’s take a brief moment to admire how her face illuminates as the idea of him coming along with her runs through her mind. Wholesome.

[@ozanozcelik1107]

exactly

[@ODjangoo]

3:42 One of the most realistic heart-break cries I've seen on screen

[@GoodBloodGames]

seriously!

[@Manas-co8wl]

That girl has seen something irl.

[@LorenHelgeson]

Saw this movie for the first time a week ago. Holy shit, that moment tore me up. I kept thinking to Will "what the hell are you doing!?"

[@katadn5153]

Loren Helgeson when u look at it form his point of view it's actualy even more heart breaking

[@jakecruise90]

That's why she was nominated for an oscar for best actress.

[@PulseOfTheAwakening]

3:47 you can hear her say "you do" ever so sofly

[@hyethga]

Very good catch. I've watched this scene multiple times, but it's clear that when she says that her voice is quite literally breaking apart. Phenomenal acting.

[@karchet77]

I actually thing she was about to say "You do... not" like really upsetd but her voice broke and just said "you do...". She didn't finished the phrase.

[@samjensen9795]

Well spotted

[@aaliyahrussell8996]

Cyber0135 wow i just realized that 😭😭

[@medusaaurora7135]

I think she was about to say 'you don't' but her voice cracked

[@keeganmclean2017]

The subtle, blink-and-you-miss-it moment where she kisses his forehead just before he says "I don't love you" is so perfect. This is exactly how it goes. You want to savor the last few moments of innocent happiness before the crushing reality falls upon you. Such a brilliant detail...

[@circuscharlie9858]

"Honey, I didn't know that" 💔

[@kathconserv]

Mic Vensa she didn’t know. She loves him so much.

[@rahulpandey2022]

So your love will generate only when I have been tortured

[@user-xs3og8us3d]

ww

[@armaan1091]

Rahul Pandey No... if that was the case she wouldn’t have asked him to go to California, or have slept with him. You’ve been with a woman before, right? These are typically signs that women will display when they have feelings for you.

[@WOok2a]

It's a defense mechanism

[@prod6mill.512]

WOok2a very complex and layered

[@king_supreme1102]

Naw he just being a dick

[@Zarathos91]

I am a complete dick to the girls I like and they end up not talking to me anymore, is that some sort of defense mechanism because I have been let down by exes in the past?

[@mrraretwinkie]

Brayden Wormer Might be a bit of both, actually.

[@Zarathos91]

So, I'm a dick and I have a defense mechanism against love. Recipe for relationship disaster.

[@maximillianosaben]

You don't even have to be in a relationship to feel how much this scene hurts. Just fantastic film-making!

[@ZachAgape]

For sure… I've never been in a relationship yet but boy I feel how much it hurts being in love with someone who doesn't love you back, and that scene displays how much it hurts amazingly.

[@joujou264]

@@ZachAgape That's not quite what's happening here. Will *does* love her back. The issue here is Will's past trauma. He's incredibly sensitive to losing her or to be hurt by her, so instead his defense mechanisms force him to end things on his own terms right then and there before he is vulnerable and must place his trust in Skylar. The people who were supposed to love and care for him in his youth have destroyed his ability to trust in others by doing neither and abusing him.

[@ZachAgape]

@@joujou264 Aye, good analysis, thanks for sharing!

[@onkardogra1011]

The people in the dorm next to them: "I'm sure there are two sides to this story"

[@tinkabell339]

Family guy😁

[@jisa39]

3:43 That is EXACTLY how you cry when your heart gets broken.

[@maclain728]

When you can’t even find the air to cry or make a noise…god I have been there and this is such a portrayal of not even sadness, but the pain

[@jisa39]

@@maclain728 You said it

[@nalyk8588]

my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because i need to sort the little issues i have out because its too hard for her... this is exactly how i’ve been crying for the past 24hrs off an on. I just wish she would stay around to help me through it, just like this girl wants to in this movie but i just don’t think she loves me anymore... Happy new year!

[@jisa39]

@@nalyk8588 I’m sorry for you

[@tomasrodriguez8296]

@@nalyk8588 go to the gym bro, and breeth

[@TheLockdownKidNYC]

I mean, the scene is supposed to point out Will's rejection of both love and change. I get that but I can't help but think packing up your entire life to go be with a girl that you haven't really clocked in that much time with is a really dumb impulsive move and I don't blame him for not wanting to go along with it for the very reason he said: "What if I'm not who you think I am a week out there and then we're stuck together and you resent me?" That's a valid reason and shines a light on how premature a decision like that is.

[@WolfODonnelfan]

That's the brain speaking, the heart is already packing it's bags. Sometimes you just gotta be a bit of an idealist and take a chance. Things usually work out in the end.

[@TheLockdownKidNYC]

Yeah... No. I'll listen to my brain on this one.

[@manictiger]

Your brain is the biggest trickster you'll ever meet. The smarter you are and the more useful your brain is to you, the more dangerous it is, too. It'll close doors you didn't even think existed unless you pay attention to what it's doing. Don't rely on your intellect entirely. Some things are just instinct, especially the things that hurt. Go toward the pain; don't run away from it. Ask yourself why does it hurt. What is causing it?

[@WizWinkle]

Cuz he'd be stupid to not see that the pros outweigh the cons. She is beautiful, smart, wealthy, and has a great personality. The whole package, so you are right that this scene shows his rejection because he is so insecure. "You can't love someone, if you don't love yourself."

[@WizWinkle]

YES! Everything you just said is a possibility, no argue there. But he won't even TRY, and if you never try and just go through life with the mentality that you will always be secondary to a women then you will never put in the real COMMITMENT it takes to built love. Just my opinion.

[@graciezakaib9629]

“Hunny I didn’t know that” The way her emotions just completely crashed upon her, and the way her voice expressed it in that simple sentence. It completely made me bawl. The crack and tenderness in her voice..

[@ahlaw8201]

Minnie Driver’s acting is superb- the inflection in her facial expressions when he transitions to something painful about his life, is so fluid & believable - it’s easy to forget this is a fictional movie. Their synergy together is remarkable, really well done 🙏🏼

[@JohnFergusoFrame]

I'm honored for yor life in 🎭 j f framexx

[@renaissancejuan]

I just noticed that Skylar quietly says "You do" after Will says he doesn't. Damn....

[@rahulpandey2022]

Yeah...because she is playing emotional game and will stays top of every game

[@pugtie4695]

Holy fuck.

[@stephengrigg5988]

@@rahulpandey2022 who hurt you brother?

[@MarkWrightPsuedo]

To me it seems as though she is repeating his words, "you don't..." and then breaks down. She is so utterly believable in this scene, the pain in her face, the heartache at his rejection, and the tenderness she shows him before he crushes her with "I don't love you," is remarkable. They just did an awesome job in this scene!

[@msctbeats]

@@MarkWrightPsuedo I interpreted it that way as well.

[@rociovaldecantosmata5432]

There is one thing on this scene that is just SO HUGE. The fact that at 3:17 the look on his face just says he has realized that he almost hit the person he loves more in the world. I think he also left her because he was afraid of becoming the type of monster he was raised by. That is real shit he got inside.

[@MattSmith-iq1ld]

This scene just about killed me in the movie theater. I was crying, and I couldn't stop the tears. The reason why this film was so powerful for its time is that it revealed the damage to a generation of kids who had been traumatized in their childhood, either through physical abuse, sexual abuse, and physical and/or emotional abandonment, etc. And most of all, it approached the experience of trauma from the male perspective. These things NEVER leave you. Even with therapy they never LEAVE you. You just become better at dealing with them. From a man's perspective, we have been taught from the moment we were little tots that to reveal emotional vulnerability to your own gender or to the opposite sex has terrible consequences. To be emotionally vulnerable around males is to hurt yourself in the competition game. You lose status in the ceaseless quest to acquire money, power, sex, women, and most of all, the respect and admiration of your male peers. To be vulnerable around a man is to emasculate yourself. It allows other guys to move ahead of you on the competition ladder. In fact, you may even be judged to be "gay" even though you are 100% heterosexual. You also put yourself at risk of being picked on or bullied. And to be emotionally vulnerable around women is, in the words of a former counselor, a risk that might get you "kicked out of the bedroom." No matter who much women say they want to have an emotionally vulnerable man in their life, it is so contrary to the way they have been raised in most families (and biologically programmed) that it is unrealistic to expect any woman at Will's age to be able to handle a case like him. Women can usually only attain it through a few breakups, a divorce or two and a ton of counseling. Basically, a personal transformation.. Most women in American society are raised by tough minded, stalwart fathers who are knights in shining armor. Their mothers, just by being around such a man, model behavior for them that shows: "This is what a real man is. A protector of women." A girl's brothers are raised to be like their dad. Disney....almost every film or book ends with some knight in shining armor who comes to the rescue. Romance novels, comedy skits, Hollywood movies, Sex In The City, Cosmo Magazine, etc. - all things that deride traumatized men who show real emotional vulnerability. A man who is truly emotionally vulnerable breaks down the knight in shining armor fantasy. That is why Will says in his break up speech to Skylar: "You don't want hear about it Skylar! You don't want to hear about how they put cigarettes out on me! You don't want to hear about how I was abused!" He's scared to reveal these things because he is frightened, through his own experiences, that Skylar will "kick him out of the bedroom" That she will desert him, become disgusted by him, and become unattracted to him as a man and a sexual being. That he will prove himself as being incapable of "protecting" her at all times like knight in shining armor. That she won't want to have kids with him because he isn't emotionally stalwart enough like her dad was. The irony of this movie is that Skylar is a traumatized person herself (the loss of a caretaker - her dad - at a very young age), but unlike so many girls at her age in our culture, she is emotionally healthy and mature. Unlike Will. I just will never forget her saying, "I want to help you. I didn't know that. I want to help you because I love you." If you think for one moment that the average 23 year old young woman in this society has that level of emotional maturity you're kidding yourself. I have been in two heart breaking relationships where when my vulnerabilities came out, the women couldn't see a future with me. I couldn't be a protector anymore and live up to this myth that our society has created regarding masculinity. The truth is that I have been searching my entire life for someone like Skylar, and I just have been unable to find her. I have met so many males who deep down in their heart want that same kind of woman, but they just know they risk getting burned. I won't get into all the things that girls struggle with in their childhoods and what trauma does to them and how damaging certain forms of femininity can be to forming an emotionally healthy self. For one thing, I don't want this to turn into a 247,737 word essay. But also, I don't need to because we live in a society which has a million and one books written about it. Because girls and women are allowed to share their feelings and vulnerabilities without derision. I am not saying they don't have difficulties. It's every bit as hard being female as it is being male in our culture. But what "Good Will Hunting" FINALLY brought to the forefront is just how many males have been physically and/or emotionally traumatized in our culture, and how destructive, hyper masculine role modeling and certain emotionally damaging effects of evolutionary psychology can lead both sexes into shaming such vulnerable males when they reveal emotional vulnerability, and how damaging this is to the lives of those males. Our sense of self is formed through our interactions with other human beings. At the end of the day, you can do a whole lot of counseling, but in the end, to really heal, you have to do what Will did in the end - hop in his car, and leave everything that he knew behind in search of a woman who had the emotional maturity to help him heal. Notice that I said "HELP" him heal. Skylar will never "CURE" him. He still has to keep doing his own emotional work. But Will found his woman who wouldn't "kick him out of the bedroom" for being a traumatized, emotionally vulnerable man. Unfortunately, he almost lost her because his defense mechanisms were so intense.

[@MattSmith-iq1ld]

Another thing......both women and men who have been physically and/or emotionally abused and traumatized want one thing more than anything else: EMOTIONAL SAFETY. What Skylar is suggesting here to Will is not emotionally safe. It's a risk. And it's a risk we all must take in order to find true love. Without taking a risk like this, a relationship has no passion or love. It comes with the deal, and its why relationships are so hard. Skylar's willingness to take a chance on Will is the very definition of LOVE. As she says, she wants him to come to California because it just FEELS right. As she says, she has no clue how it will turn out, but fuck it, she is willing to give it a shot. That, again, is the living, breathing definition of LOVE. To take that kind of risk with Will. But she has ZERO idea what is going on beneath the surface of Will. That Will was traumatized and abused as a kid. People in this position, almost like animals, want to protect themselves from being hurt any further. It is just too much to bear. Really, in an ideal circumstance, all of this info should have come out before both of them started having sex. It's really important for emotionally traumatized people to take relationships as slowly as possible. I won't get physically intimate with any woman until she knows everything about my traumatized past. If she knows everything, and she still wants to be with me, then I know I have my own Skylar. It is still a risk no matter what - it could still turn out bad - but it weeds out women who are not suitable for me.

[@namedidii]

harvey Weinstein

[@trinitylivingston1286]

@@MattSmith-iq1ld good advice.☺

[@user-hi2nd]

What the fuck is this essay

[@brianticas7671]

I agree but when you share this with women they don't give a fuck. Especially good looking ones. They are selfish

[@kalebarancelovic]

I guarantee this scene is why she got nominated for an Oscar. Stunning performance. You can feel her devastation

[@whengrapespop5728]

This scene is not about him rejecting love and not wanting to change - it’s about him being ashamed of who he is and his past, and he’s afraid of what she will think of him when she finds out. He’s not rejecting love and change, he has a solid fear of rejection itself (fear of rejection is quite common for people with childhoods like that, I struggle with fear of rejection myself). And so, he acts out in anger because he’s not used to being vulnerable (just as he acts out in anger before breaking down in front of the therapist), and when he shared the truth about his life and who he is, he feels as posed and rather says “I don’t love you” because now that he’s ‘revealed too much’ about himself, it’s easier to run away. It’s a very accurate in regards to fear of rejection, rejecting others before they can reject you, even if your heart wants otherwise. It’s a prison.

[@2011Oly]

2:50 was the best part of the scene, the raw emotion

[@bartonez123]

Minnie gives an absolute acting masterclass here. Up there with one of the best acting performances I've ever seen.

[@omomom84]

Minnie's Driver role is the most underestimated in this movie. She create a phenomenal character, full of love, understanding and obove differents of theirs worlds. She was perfect and should had the best supporting actress oscar for this role. Peace!

[@colorfullyme]

As beautiful as this scene is, my heart aches for Skylar. Of course we do and should empathize with Will here, but if you have ever had the experience of telling someone your Dad died and had them not be there for you because they were too wrapped up in their own pain, then you'd know just how strong Skylar is. I wish I could just let it go the way she does....

[@keepitsecret-dl1pr]

he can't because he's a loser

[@Lettermanization]

Anyone who has been abused by their parents, understand how Will feels. The constant let downs your parents show. Your parents "love" you but never care to talk to you, care what you are into, care about your safety, care about you growing into a better person. Your parents yelling at you, physically hitting you, neglecting you, etc. If you have siblings you see the pain in their eyes but can't do anything about it because you are too small, and weak. The worst part is when they use it against you. You are their problem it is the reason why the person drinks. Worst part is, the person the next day never remembers it happening. The person was too drunk. Whenever the person says they love you. You question it. You want to believe it but you can't. To you, love was a way to manipulate you into doing things. You have so much repressed anger that you are just angry at everyone and anyone even yourself.

[@makaylagray2553]

It will get better I believe it God loves everyone and he will heal you

[@jukwanbrooks3016]

@@makaylagray2553 Yes it will I myself dealt with emotional issues as a kid but I learned when you have faith in God everything will be ok.

[@SpaceMonke99]

The way the hopeful smile fades at 1:05 is a really small nuance but I really like it. You can see the second the anxious excitement is so suddenly dashed. I can feel the crushing disappointment from the anticipation of a yes to the exact opposite answer you wanted. In those moments it's like you think the outcome you want will make you so happy that it can't go wrong, then you are shocked when you get the response you weren't hoping for. It's the little things like that which make the scene so brilliant and so authentic.

[@fil4648]

She will definitely be remembered for this scene. Well done Minnie Driver, this was acting at its finest.

[@msmith5121]

I was born into an alcoholics family, neglected and ultimately brutally abused by an older brother, while nearly being killed twice. What Matt Damon is depicting in this performance is exactly what I feel in my heart everyday as an adult. The damage done to a small child growing up in that environment is real, yet unknown, un-measurable, devastating, eternally damaging and lasts a life time. I am now 63....and remember like I was 8.

[@Ristopistox]

I hope you are better now, my friend.

[@BJBee]

I don't know why the most amazing people have terrible childhoods. It's a mystery. It's like something wants to destroy them and their light before they can give to the world

[@R3ktCunnyz69]

Yet these are the things we as men aren't supposed to talk about because if we do, then it's either 'boo hoo, stop being fragile and suck it up princess', or it just gives other people (ESPECIALLY women, ESPECIALLY Skylar) ammo & comedy material to use against us. But when you shut the fuck up and let it fester, we'd be conveniently accused of perpetuating and enabling the toxic nature of the 'patriarchy', or labelled as a heartless sociopath.

[@jeffleung791]

@@BJBee because many of them never feel good enough, and always feel needing to do more to show their worth, hence they can be successful in the area they are working on

[@GuineaPigEveryday]

@@jeffleung791not just successful, i think personally if you grow up with a narcissistic selfish abusive person, you do everything in your life to be the opposite, to try to be kind to people, a lot of it is the utter fear that you might turn out like them, you end up being conflict-avoidant, and super paranoid and anxious about everything you said and everything other people say, you’re usually scared of intimacy too. But regardless I think a lot of abused people live their life trying to prove they’re decent people, not just to be successful but to be able to cope with what happened to them. A lot of them can turn out workaholics or perfectionists so that part is definitely true as well. But them being amazing people is hard to say becuz many of them would never believe that they’re worth anything.

[@davidpaz9389]

I used to be a severely detached person. In my 20s and early 30s it was easy to spit a little game, bed a woman for the night, and leave it at that. My impediment was I felt unworthy of anything real because I and everything around me wasn't perfect. Never the perfect time. Never the perfect place. Never the perfect job. Etc. The walls I had put up stemmed from a resentment at how poor I was growing up. I really let that cripple me more than it should have and it about irreparably stunted my emotional development. I was almost a ghost in high school. In my mid 30s I found my imperfect woman and we're perfect together. We just celebrated our 8th anniversary and we're coming up on 11 years together total. Take the chance.

[@sailguns9332]

Cap

[@aoo1521]

cap

[@antoniotolentino8108]

As someone that has a fear of abandonment I understand this scene so well the pain is so unimaginable.If you never experienced it you won’t understand and he is explaining it to her it’s so sad but so accurate.

[@onerbfromtn4320]

This scene and indeed most of this movie eviscerated me - I always feel it all the way to my soul. I am 47 now, happily married with a wonderful family but back when this came out I had to leave the theatre because I was back exactly "there". The internal level of shame and extreme rage are difficult to express in any meaningful way without it boiling out all at once, which breaks you apart to a level of self- destruction and a jet black rage unimaginable to anyone viewing it and experiencing it with a loved one. It doesn't make any sense all the piercing, all encompassing seamless rage coming from a person whom is never like that until they are back THERE again inside their head - there and then. Sights, sounds, smells - you've got it all even if long ago you tried to forget it ever happened. And you endlessly tear yourself to shreds internally - "I should have been better, should have known what to do, should have done something", you are unworthy, unwanted, unlovable, unforgivable, without worth by any measure because that is what you heard, learned, had beaten into you for decades. So you do the worst thing possible - you wrap it up in an impenetrable case, surrounded by armor, masks, and parts you play, praying always in terror that no one ever sees through all that self defense to the actual "you", and especially that part of you. You are not worth anything, they cannot love you, and no one will ever love you or think you are worth anything especially if they see what you feel is the real you. This scene is very mild compared to how I have felt and acted at times, some even recently as buried pieces come to the surface and the rage/overreaction of a still terrified kid come pouring out like a broken dam - literally 20+ years later and with tremendous shame and guilt from then and your actions/feelings now. And just like Skylar, my wonderful spouse had no clue as to why some times you could never get close to me - why I overreacted so much to small bumps in the road or only very mildly annoying circumstances, and why there always seemed to be some hidden secret from even her, why I did not really trust anyone, why I kept my circle so terribly small. She discovered roughly in 2011 that I was not reacting to the "now" when some of the things that were hidden and glossed over for years and years were discovered. We had been married 16 years at the time - and she had NO clue. And my situation was nothing, very much nothing compared to some I'm sure - but a lot of my life teetered between chasing so very hard joy and literal borderline destruction of self and not really sure which was preferable. And now just as when this came out, I cannot stop the tears, anguish, and fear. But have hope, folks whom have endured through terrible situations. My life is fantastically blessed and I'm doing my best to make sure that it ends with my generation within my family. DON'T YOU GIVE UP, and people whom have someone like this in their lives, DON'T GIVE UP ON THEM. Many, many times I was saved by people some of whom had no idea they did so nor what it really meant to me by them just being involved and caring enough to do so - even if they did not realize it. Worry not for me, as the countless scars have made a toughened hide indeed - inside and out - but you are important here and can get through this as I have (mostly) put this in the past. It does pop up now from time to time, but I know I can get through it and so can you. Dont. Quit. On. You.

[@cv6176]

From a 48yr man, I just want to say thank you for sharing, it resonated deeply. Best wishes to you, and your family

[@onerbfromtn4320]

@@cv6176 best wishes to you also. It gets better!

[@Mantistoboggan4684]

Dont fck with me one rb, not you

[@onerbfromtn4320]

@@Mantistoboggan4684 it's not your fault... and with much love. It's not your fault.

[@jinkim23]

Many of us were unwittingly infected with shame.

[@CityBoyDubstep]

3:14 she's so emotional when she says "i love you" what a great actress

[@mr.e3765]

This is one of the most powerful scenes from any movie I’ve ever seem

[@kathconserv]

Mason Eades indeed.

[@downhomegirl5]

He has avoidant attachment style & there is nothing more painful then being in love with someone that is afraid to love & be loved. Abuse is a terrible thing but, you can overcoming it & Love is that thing to do it.

[@destroyermaker]

Wow this is my ex to a tee. Explains so much. I was willing to give everything I had to her but she kept shutting me out, suppressing emotions, etc. Eventually I blew up and that was the end of it. She grew to hate me.

[@AnnaLVajda]

He is trying to protect her that's what he's scared of. He knows telling her about his ugly past will change her perception and the relationship but if he isn't honest then it's a shallow relationship. True intimacy is difficult for him because no one has really ever cared for him before so he assumes no one really wants to. I don't know if he has abandonment issues he probably is more concerned with seeming to abandon his friends for a woman he isn't sure of yet. He tells her the truth asks if she wants to save him thus giving her a sample of what she might be dealing with so she can really decide if she still wants him. She tells him later on the phone that she loves him so now the ball is in his court and he decides to pursue her. It's actually an intelligent progression of their relationship. Guys who pretend to have no issues are far more insensitive. This is a very respectful display so she can make a reasonable decision in regard to her own feelings.

[@josh2x226]

Anna Vajda you are correct for majority of it but I don’t agree with your first statement. He didn’t lash out because he was trying to protect her he did that because he was trying to protect himself. They repeatedly mention that in the movie.

[@intel1944]

Yes and no. He knew already that he is using this defense mechanism (he said it in oje of the sessions) so maybe he was defending her as well as he knew that he would break everything up when everything is getting serious and she says that she cares for him. Because of Wills trauma of abondonment he thinks that nobody cares for him ever, and if someone does care then after his tantrums they wont, because it is much easier to leave them before you get too attached..and risk again with your whole psychological situation

[@MoviezGames]

He's scared of how she will look at him once she knows the depths of his history of abuse. Thing is that people (and especially women, if it comes to victimized men) don't look at you the same once you admit to these things. I'm not saying what he did was "right", but I understand his reaction. If I was abused the same way he was, I'd never share it with anyone, least of all my partner.

[@subhamshaw1204]

@Anna Vajda wise words 👍

[@torababdullah7952]

So the question still stands. Will is right to be keeping things from her because in his mind it's better a risk to not tell her everything and have a shallow but perfect relation than admitting and sharing everything to later find out he gets rejected because of sharing all these. *HOW THE HECK DO YOU FIND SOMEONE PERFECT FOR YOU?* Everyone tries to look perfect and hide their flaws. They don't wanna lose relation for any of their lackings or history. No one is perfect but no one is gonna admit that! So how do you find someone who is perfect for you????

[@elah1023]

This scene kills me every single time. I understand his problem and I`m so f...ing sorry for him. When we can recognize ourselves in fictional scenes like this one it is a proof of top notch acting. Hats off.

[@bachiano1]

Holy Fuck. That was really difficult to watch. Brilliant work of Art.

[@hollyroxy25]

Her acting is spectacular in this scene because I know that cry all too well. The cry where you’re in such pain that no sound comes out & you can actually feel the pain in your chest. She portrayed that so realistically.

[@jimskyboy2]

Can you imagine the pin-drop silence in that studio after this scene? I swear I cry each time I watch this scene. She gave him the total freedom to leave even if it meant completely destroying her heart. That's real love. He wasn't facing her, He was facing himself and he bolted as he had real opportunity for someone to hold him as he released everything... It wasn't his fault, it never was, David Webb

[@fink6722]

Alan Shore Right, it showed how willing she was to put herself out there, to experience pain, despite everything she went through with her dad, as opposed to Will who didn’t want any more pain if it meant taking risks in love and life.

[@IDidntWantAHandleYouTube]

Ugh the way she sobs at the end gets me everytime. Such a heartbreaking scene

[@SarahWilk100]

When I saw the film this scene totally caught me off guard I literally started crying.

[@rishab8world]

I felt like Minnie Driver in a recent fling I had. She was just so consumed with her own depression that she didn't see me standing there without judgement and with arms stretched to help her. Instead she just shut down and completely avoided everything. She thought I would never understand her pain. Not seeing that I've been thru my own share of it. Strange how art and life immitate each other.

[@keepitsecret-dl1pr]

yeah been there, just leave them, there's no point; they're far too selfish and aren't worth your time

[@kuerst]

You know you've had a hard life when you keep coming back to this scene just to bawl your eyes out one more time. You and me both.

[@jeffleung791]

OMG. we have to stop

[@kingenvy4701]

The way he said I don’t love you was so cold blooded

[@OnlyTwoShoes]

Raw, emotional acting. Man I miss 90s movies.

[@kenny75photography2]

Such a great dramatic scene from both of them. Minnie's acting particularly is incredible in this scene and her best moment is when she says "you do" after Will says he doesn't love her. Phenomenal acting.

[@amelialouisa8541]

Who's here during Covid? I'll love this movie for forever.

[@thatgirlreacts5465]

👋

[@eadghe]

Who is here and frightened, because gulliable mind?

[@amelialouisa8541]

@@eadghe 'gulliable' lol.

[@eadghe]

@@amelialouisa8541 Typo and not my first language, but at least you pay attention. ;)

[@amelialouisa8541]

@@eadghe now you know. 😉

[@lourivas21]

This scene destroyed me because this is how I respond to people who attempt to form any deep connection with me. Just like Will, I am terrified that they will find out *something* they don't like about me and then they will realize I wasn't worth anything, and then they will go ahead and leave me. "You don't want to hear that shit" ~> "What, do I got a fcking sign on my back that says 'save me'? Do I look like I need that?" ~> "DON'T BULLSHIT ME!" I mean. I've never really *exploded* the way he did. But I throw reckless words just the same. It sucks. It hurts.

[@keepitsecret-dl1pr]

yeah? Well that's shit happened to me many times, and people have left me when I've opened up, but I still would do it again because I'm not embarrassed about who I am and I want to find love. If someone leaves you by the way-side then they were never good enough for you. You need to get over yourself dude

[@gonzalovazquezavila535]

I get that she shouldn't have said "I wanna help you", but aside from that she was being very honest and sensitive and Will was obviously just scared.

[@sunsoar1822]

yeah she was trying to do the right thing, but she didn't know the can of worms she was opening and she doesn't understand the male psyche when it comes to opening up about trauma in general. i can entirely relate to how he exploded, but i can also empathize with what she was meant. But he wouldn't have in the moment

[@thedancingveganatheist6310]

@@sunsoar1822 That's what makes the writing so brilliant. In many ways, this film is quite realistic.

[@rahulpandey2022]

She has no idea of poverty ...she is a fucking liar

[@briannab4037]

@@rahulpandey2022 It's more like she's not aware of her lack of perspective, she isn't willingly lying

[@justexisting184]

@@rahulpandey2022 having no idea of poverty is not a crime, honestly she just wanted to reach will

[@trique9776]

Amazing subtlety when she says "you do" (love me) right after he leaves. She knows in her heart that she truly loves him and is using a defense mechanism so as to not let anyone into his life because of fear of rejection he has developed because people have never loved him and always rejected him in the past.

[@TeamMemeSupreme]

Holy shit I never caught that... thats amazing writing. Good catch!

[@alexeonbel4304]

Will's insecurities hurt me so much because they're so similar to my own. You could have everyone around you tell you you're good enough, but because you don't believe that yourself you just assume you're being lied to. Or you tell yourself that they don't know the real you. The most fucked up part is, even if you see the cage you put yourself in you don't know how to get out of that mindset. Or worse, a part of you feels safe being in there.

[@Antwuan-rp9rb]

damn this hit so hard, like this is exactly how I feel.

[@destroyermaker]

Therapy is vital, I reckon. Possibly cognitive therapy. Trying to do it on your own seems like a fool's errand.

[@destroyermaker]

Do you have any insight on how you deal with it? My girlfriend is going through this now and it's hard to watch.

[@jm8ney833]

she was not trying to be a saint or stick her nose in his business . Is that her love for him is so intense , soo deep that it hurts her to see him act that way , so yes technically she does want to save him , save him from all his misery . She wants to see him be alright! That’s why she cries so intense when he says he doesnt love her .

[@johnj4363]

My now wife told me she loved me 1st. I told her I'm not saying that back because I don't feel the same way. Told her about my childhood, and she cried with me. She told me to take my time and she understands. I'm so glad I didn't push her away. Meeting her is the best thing to happen to me. That being said matt in the film is just a emotional wreck from his past, he's going off on her because he's starting to love her and that scares him more than anything because he only knows himself being with himself.

[@elah1023]

Respect to both of You.

[@paulfitz6614]

Best part of this wonderful scene is when she says I want to help you and that just triggers him even more. That's wonderful dialogue written by someone who has been in a heated argument and said the word and witnessed it downward spiral.

[@stevesmith9447]

Emotional wounding. We were raised to fear vulnerability, to regard it as shameful. We were expected to be perfect and to have no needs. When we failed, we were punished, and told we only had ourselves to blame. Our feelings don't matter - only what we can provide matters. We have feelings, but we learn to fear them. We grow tough or we die. Then, without meaning to, we fall in love, and love asks us to surrender that toughness. To bet it all on the least sure thing in the world because it's the only way we'll ever get that feeling of being deeply loved. She doesn't get that she's asking him to die for her. That's a doozy coming from someone who makes you feel safe.

[@angel-4726]

love how skylar reads will like a book in this scene whilst he thinks he's done such a good job keeping himself hidden from her all this time

[@JohnPierre-lz6vb]

As a Young Man being abandoned as a Baby , abused by his adoptive family and friends for almost 17 -18 years i have to say this is very relatable. To relatalbe. I cried when i watched that scene.

[@perturbedxtirade7428]

Hope you're okay, John. You deserve the best.

[@JohnPierre-lz6vb]

@@perturbedxtirade7428 I really appreciate that. 🙏🏿

[@msmith5121]

He is not only retreating verbally with his constant negative analogies, but in this scene, after she asks him to go with her, he is backing up physically as he begins getting out of the bed. He is in full retreat here with no intent on going anywhere...one of the most emotional and well acted scenes I have ever watched in a film.

[@TheSandieRavage]

Had goosebumps all through that. Phenomenal acting from both, you just don't see those kind of raw performances these days.

[@infinitygauntlet101]

This fucking hurts when you are at Will's perspective. He knew that her life is not going anywhere if she stays with him and he doesnt want that to happen so he pushes her away. One of the most realistic breakups that Ive seen in movies.

[@Peterplayingguitar]

I love movies and I've seen hundreds of them and i still think this is one of the best movies ever made. Great story, great script and stunning acting. Just wow on all levels.

[@TheLaSirenaVarada]

Chills. One of the best scenes I've ever seen in a movie with perfect actors. I have never heard a better definition of love and the end is amazing!! I just love it!!👏👏😍😍

[@cnote2458]

Damon was fantastic in this scene he is so believable he hurts my heart. But Driver actually rips my heart out. The way her whole demeanour changes through the argument. It takes a special talent to actually feel the characters confession and pain.

[@munir191]

This is so well written. Will is a trauma survivor. Self sabotage is to him a familiar lonely place. Getting past trauma via shadow work and inner child reparenting requires putting on overalls and doing the hard work. To him, it is easier to sabotage and return to familiarity of his status quo than to reckon with his past.

[@JackFraz1972]

Very well stated. The things people will do or say to others because of trauma (third party) is horrible. Fear is what holds us back in this life and, despite contrary opinions, we only have one shot at life. For those of us, who were sent off course by an event or series of events, the thought of multiple chances sounds enticing and promising. That is, until you wake up in your own miserable existence day after day. Alone and hated.

[@seeking_the_sun]

God this makes me tear up every single time. They don't make em like this anymore.

[@GamingwBix]

I'm reading this scene tonight in my acting class. It's incredible and I hope I can do it justice!

[@mli3793]

How did it go?

[@invictuz4803]

How does one read a scene?

[@scifinerd17]

InvictuZ By reading a script

[@DanimalLawlz]

Haha I just did it too

[@jrodriguez2133]

Simon it went terrible a lot of people just scream and think that's acting...

[@garrytalaroc]

One of the best films Ive ever watched.

[@kikio-rq9kx]

I don’t know about all that.

[@Simple5.0]

This scene still holds up and is every bit as powerful as the first time I saw it. There’s a lot of scenes that are good in the beginning but a couple decade go by and they get cheesy but it hasn’t happened with this whole movie. This is a really good one.

[@terrachristensen1835]

The was she is so gentle when she is talking about how if he says he won’t love her then she won’t call him or be in his life but she still holds him and kisses his forehead even while saying such painful things for her to say and him to her always gets to me such amazing actors it’s phenomenal

[@Axel-Hacedetodo]

Such a god tier acting, I even got really scared when I saw this scene.

[@vincentarellano9332]

She is so great in this scene!! Minnie is amazing. And Matt omg , just one of the best acted scenes ever

[@jameshackney7314]

So it obviously didn’t work out between him and skyler so he came back trained as an assassin and became Jason bourne, in the mean time his best friend is running around in a black suit calling himself batman. Just shows you never know where life is going to take you

[@urbanespinoza9070]

Minnie Driver didn't need shiny colors or tapping to deserve an award. So wonderful actress!!!

[@serenitybeats1677]

Wdym shining colors or tapping

[@Michael-kd2ny]

She is a beautiful woman. I never really followed her acting, but its a good scene.

[@Smokealotofblunts]

She's in grosse point blank. Great film and she is really hot.

[@ktolwal]

no she' s not

[@richy85]

She also voiced Jane in Disneys Tarzan

[@Blueline3691]

@@ktolwal opinions? I've never heard him.

[@No_OneV]

Now i remember why i used to pause this movie every 10 minutes. This is some heavy stuff

[@chrisgarcia9629]

Still brings a tear to my eye, even after all of these years. This is in my top 5 movies of all time.

[@manuginobilisbaldspot424]

If you don't move, you can't get hurt. I don't just mean physically...I mean emotionally, mentally, psychologically. To be abused as a child is to inherit a feeling of worthlessness that NO ONE can shake. Except yourself. You can't be loved enough. You can't find someone 'stable' enough. The forces exist inside you, not out. In the movies, you have a fantastic shrink and a best friend who clearly values your growth enough to tell you to leave...in real life, you squander good relationships and friendships because that sense of insecurity and invalidation is a self fulfilling prophecy of broken bridges and words you can't undo. Eventually (hopefully) you get old enough to realize this...except for the people you really want the most, it is too late.

[@Monkilicious420]

" I don't love you " well damn

[@Jada-vu3wv]

Jackie

[@xMeteora__]

@Wednesday Mcr?

[@JackMcLeodJr]

Masterful acting interplay between Minnie and Matt

[@janetn9942]

Such a gut wrenching scene You can feel her desperation love and pain 🥺💔

[@nohandlexyz]

So many great scenes in this movie. The acting in this one is exceptional.

[@brandad2097]

I pushed away the girl I wanted to marry by thinking like Will did in this scene. It was a lesson learned, a much needed lesson. But I hope we cross paths again.

[@pranaybhanot4057]

Phenomenal writing and direction only topped by the even better acting. What a masterclass this movie was ... sad we don’t get to see such movies these days.

[@Bokaj01]

This encounter lingered with me till the end of the movie when we see him take off to go see her. Even if they met up and got together again, it's such a scar, she's so sweet and he really did a number on her soul.

[@gabrielacmorais7750]

This scene is so brilliant!!! Great movie and amazing actors.

[@roshanneupane9818]

Tbh this is the most difficult thing to do for an actor. And I am very confident that this is the most emotional scene I have ever encountered in any movie.Very true, very emotional, very much lovely and heartfelt.

[@msmith5121]

One of the best acting performances I have ever seen. Stunning.

[@sonofblessed]

I'm not sure that I've seen better acting than this; it was so natural and accurate. He can't accept her love because deep down inside he feels that he's not worthy of it.