Green Card Digger | Bianca Cristovao | Stand Up Comedy

Bianca Cristovao gets real about what it's like to be an immigrant from the Czech Republic and the truth behind green card marriages!
Comedy is at its best when there's a surprise - that's why Don't Tell Comedy puts on events where the performers and location are kept secret until the day of the show. With over 150 cities already in on the joke, you never know where we'll set up shop, or who might pop in. Want to be let in on the secret? Visit our website below to find an upcoming show near you: www.donttellcomedy.com
Just don't tell anyone!! 🤫
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Bianca Cristovao is a Czech comedian based in Los Angeles. This summer you can catch her doing her new hour at the Edinburgh fringe
Instagram: / biancacristovao
TikTok: / biancacristovaocomedy
KZbin: @biancacristovao
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Your soap is a joke! Major shoutout to Dr. Squatch for making this stand-up series possible. Upgrade your personal care with 15% off your order of 50+ with code DTC15
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The Tiki Series (Vol. 2) is Don't Tell Comedy's 28th independent KZbin series that features stand-up comedy sets from the best of the next generation of stand up comedians.
Subscribe to Don’t Tell Comedy to find your next favorite comedian:
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Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook for more stand-up clips!
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Credits:
Written and Performed by Bianca Cristovao
Executive Producers: Kyle Kazanjian-Amory & Brett Kushner
VP of Production: Marissa Gallant
Live Events Manager: Drew Platt
Co-Directors: Gordie Earle III & Brad Silnutzer
Director of Photography: Mark Davis
Gaffer: Michael Tellup
Swing: Mikyla Jonck
Camera Operators:
Amelia Asilis
John Barrett
Angelo Clarizio
Lauren Doyle
Brooke Mueller
Editor: Jordan Tetewsky
Color Correction: Jordan Tetewsky
Sound Recordist: Alex Gilroy
Re-Record Mixer: Ryan Meadows
Graphics: Megan Hunter
Production Assistants:
Rachel Bershad
Jonathan Garcia
Z Gregorio
Megan Hunter
Photographer: Matt Misisco ( / mattmisiscostudios )
Special thanks to our generous hosts, Dive N Surf in Redondo Beach, CA

[@Vohlfied]

"I'm not here to look at your _Hollywood_ sign I'm here to *take your job!"*

[@user-fj6kk1vo8n]

That one earned the thumbs up for me 😂

[@xapokalypse]

​@@user-fj6kk1vo8n I mean she has no job, so that's good ig

[@Gkrissy]

Best line 😂

[@IamZeus1100]

She crushed it from beginning to end . One of the funniest comics I’ve seen in a while ! Her flow and delivery is spectacular too

[@biancacristovao]

I take that! Many many thanks 🙏🏾

[@Smenkhaare]

@@biancacristovao The pride, the beauty and love is everywhere... we have to make the world a place to be in for all of us. I wish you good fortune Bianca. Be well.... You are a great up and coming comedian.🙂

[@notimportant7495]

are you her mom?

[@zpinsight]

The ending about not being goldigger, but patriot killed me😂

[@kasroa]

That's one of the best 9 mins of stand up I've seen, what a talent

[@north_star8]

Absolutely agree

[@HughJorgan09]

This young lady knocked it out of the park!

[@sonquatsch8585]

@@HughJorgan09 she sho nuff did.

[@tsubadaikhan6332]

You're a Patriot. That was a true burn, but I'm not sure on who. Maybe all of us?

[@dominicgalloway4481]

I'm very into commedy. She definitely isn't top tier yet, but she's pretty close. She had me giggling. I hope to see her in a special. If she can dim down the type of jokes that are about being from somewhere but still portray that a bit and keep this energy, I could listen all day. Fingers crossed that she gains attention, because she's got the talent for it.

[@iCuddleAfter6]

Came out swinging lmao

[@sonquatsch8585]

and landed every punch with a K.O. ALL K.O.s not one TKO

[@vulnicura7839]

Absolutely did NOT get the applause she deserved! This set is incredible!

[@sonquatsch8585]

i agree with this too. i think she would have detonated NYC like comedy cellar would have exploded. her version of wokeness is the true wokeness...i think west coast is too caught up in post 2015 wokeness...but this woman is unbelievable. i am going to watch this again.

[@CrackThoseClaws]

SHE DESERVED PERFORMING AT SOLD-OUT HERODION ANCIENT THEATRE IN ATHENS (opened for Burr)

[@dominicgalloway4481]

​@@sonquatsch8585I don't think she was trying to be woke. But you're right, being woke used to be a reasonable thing, much like feminism, but now it looks bad. 😂 it's crazy how people have changed the meanings of those things. I would love to see her more doing less jokes about being from some place, but still implementing that into her act. Don't get me wrong, I love that type of humor, but if that's your whole act all the time, it gets pretty stale. Ralph Barbosa is the perfect example for including it perfectly. He mentions that stuff, but it's only a small portion of his act. I think she will flourish if she does that.

[@Smenkhaare]

@@sonquatsch8585 Bianca needs to come to the City... New York City.

[@Hf-sb6xy]

hilarious the whole way but she KILLED the closing. amazing, thank you!!

[@repti1076]

Fun watching it as an immigrant in Czech Republic )

[@biancacristovao]

👀

[@victormorales3604]

If you don't like it, ".. why dont you go back to New York!"🤣

[@elifdurmus8243]

@@biancacristovaogreat set Bianca! Cool to find you lurking in the comments 😁🥰 good luck on your journey and hope to see more of you! Any suggestions where we should look (other than the youtube search bar)? (As non-US people)

[@SpectreDeluxe]

Her energy is awesome. She absolutely killed it

[@drnol461]

GENIUS set. I can't believe she fit all those hard hitting jokes in nine minutes. Can't wait to see how far she goes

[@208Melo]

From IDAHO, and im TOTALLY OKAY, with you using the reference!!! Accurate comparison. 😂😂😂

[@blaisemacpherson7637]

From Idaho but... Latah county so you know. The east side of Latah out in the trees but you can still smell the beans roasting at One World Cafe

[@JH-uu7jl]

It's always amazing to me when people whose native to gue is not English do comedy in English. It is so freaking hard to write humor in advance that will land with an audience...then to do it in another language? Awesome. Plus...it was a funny set.

[@north_star8]

Damn!!! 🤣 She was fire! 🔥🔥🔥 Please, give us more!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@the.dirt.man.]

She has some of the best delivery I have ever seen

[@SinabySimona]

You are the best Bianca that was hilarious 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 🩷 🇨🇿 zdravím z česka!!! kéžby česko bylo jiné a takový talenti by nemuseli odjíždět za oceán

[@biancacristovao]

❤❤❤

[@donbocia1557]

Man... I put it as background noise while doing the dishes, and ended up laughing out loud and loving every joke. One of the best bits I listened to in a long time!

[@iamamodel7]

Doing dishes = listening to stand up. Makes me want to do dishes. And clean the benches, the oven, polish the sink...

[@osajukisama777]

Unapologetically hilarious 😂❤

[@ZoombeeGray-hq7lj]

She’s actually so funny like I’m crying😂😂🤣🤣

[@vermiform]

I like how it doesn't matter where you're from if you grew up as a teen in California, you're gonna have a little bit of valley girl in you. Same tone, different accents. So amusing.

[@FFmaxxx]

Its more social media connecting us all. This is just how alot of younger people talk. I live in Massachusetts and alot of kids w who grew up and born here have it. That vally girl/up speak is just ingrained...similar to aave vocabulary is now a norm worldwide and alot of our was regional originally

[@biancacristovao]

Damn… 😂😅 This is awakening for me 😂 but I appreciate this information. I can’t hear it lol

[@vermiform]

@@biancacristovao lol we can't help it. Great set, I'm subbing and looking forward to seeing more of your stand up 🙌

[@Jun_kid]

@@biancacristovao That bit on "patriot" . . . that hit hard! Keep it up Bianca. You are real, and you are good!

[@apeshitclothing]

Nah. Not the Bay Area or Central Valley chicks

[@christopherjohnson1266]

Was trying to quietly clean while everyone sleeps but this totally blew my cover! Dying laughing all over the house 😂

[@sfmmmo7599]

She is hilarious XDD

[@MichaelShepherd44]

Wow. Actual comedy with setups, beats, and punchlines!

[@sarastars5743]

I love that I ended my evening with this lol!

[@sonquatsch8585]

love that i started my day with this.

[@Maazin5]

Her voice is 🤩

[@rachelwest1642]

This was a great set!!

[@emilyjoeblow9755]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂 This woman deserves so much more attention!!!

[@j0rd33]

truly some of the best i’ve seen in a while

[@mariacaicedo3627]

That wrap up was gold! 🔥 😂😂 "you're a patriot" 😂😂😂

[@pantitapalittapongarnpim1581]

That is one tight, tight set. Absolutely gold!

[@josefdubisar5115]

Tvl čumim na US stand up a tam holka z Česka. A fakt dobrá. Tak díky, super jsem se pobavil 😂

[@biancacristovao]

Ahoj 🎉🙌🏾

[@sonquatsch8585]

@@biancacristovao girl u are the absolute very best...GET IT GIRL !! NEVER STOP ! grüße aus rassistischem 'schland...

[@biancacristovao]

@@sonquatsch8585 hahaha Ich liebe Berlin aber du hasst recht 🤣🙌🏾

[@sonquatsch8585]

@@biancacristovao i'll tell u if u are in town, i'll bring my friends to see u. und ich kiekte deine Schreibweise von "haben". you are too good ! again bravo !

[@druMoreno]

Solid set through and through!

[@jesussiller9994]

Bianca Cristovao, Bravo! You killed it

[@gabbieinnocent5260]

She killed that!!

[@sonquatsch8585]

holy shit, is this ish the best comedian to have ever lived or something ?(old skool comedy fanantic here i know what tf i am talkin about)...her set created enough comedic energy to achieve time travel. my goodness this was so good. so so so good. bravo ! she hit 100% for all aspects of good comedy. like she created uniqueness out of trite themes...that is like nearly impossible. fuck she is good.

[@Suzette_Lilyrose]

Loved, her!!! On repeat!!! She made me laugh!!!!!!!!

[@davidrich27]

“…Eastern Europe. Plot twist!” Sorry, I think your jacket gave you away, comrade.

[@biancacristovao]

💀 😂

[@albertosierraalta3223]

Great set and great energy

[@realtruth5289]

I’m a 56 years old fan of comedy. This girl has it. Best stand up I’ve seen since the likes of EDDIE MURPHY, AND RICHARD PRIOR. Outstanding!!!🎉🎉🎉

[@injar88]

Omg the courage! Hilarious!! TCKs & contributions to the world. So underrated. 👏

[@laketac]

Awesome! I'm gonna seek out more of her stuff!❤

[@ahdz7980]

Wow!! She is incredibly talented! Her comedy approach is refreshing, brilliantly challenging racial stereotypes and educating against racism. Can’t wait to see her continue to shine and rise!

[@gk_coach_mario3843]

That last joke MURDERED 😂😂😂😂

[@anthonyreed1310]

More of her please!!! I was clapping and laughing out loud for the whole 9 mins! 😂

[@harryliuhao]

So funny and so genuine. I love her comedy style.

[@Darksh0t009]

This had me rolling 😂

[@Ben-xs8oo]

I love Don't Tell Comedy but I don't think my neighbors appreciate the volume being cranked up for the outro.

[@HeadDress]

I’m saying tho 😂

[@sonquatsch8585]

IKR RIGHT?!?!?!? i am like wtf is that all about?!?! jeeez so annoying. then, i think a few months ago they toyed wiith a different outtro theme and the volume was so much lower and i was like thank GOD, then the reg. outtro theme came back on ultra blast, almost detonated my laptop.

[@terezahofirkova9051]

I am from the Czech Republic, living in Germán, have spent two years in England. And I love this actor and I did not know she is from about that Area ❤

[@All_forthelove]

I looovvveee this girl!!!! Have to watch all her comedy!!!

[@meryitis]

One of the best so far!

[@waykeeperfarmandnerdery]

Brilliant and amazing delivery!

[@PancakeTopp]

I'll be keeping an eye out for more clips of her

[@heraldocosta1469]

You go girl !! You KILLED the closing!! loved

[@fedorbutochnikow5312]

Bianca Cristovao is a rising star, this stand up piece was outstanding! She touched on hot political issues while maintaining a laughing spirit, what a treat!

[@magpie.314]

Too real, too funny man! Love her! Gonna go binge more clips of her now

[@robertmoye7565]

Absolutely brilliant comedy with great material and a killer delivery.

[@RbkBorahae]

This was amazing!! What a great comic!!! Just funny smart jokes and perfect delivery!

[@jessiealves6275]

Girl!!! It was hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂

[@ZzBlackGoblin420Gaming]

She needs a Netflix special asap

[@worldview576]

Ohhh shee is funny. This is the best set I have seen in a while 😅😅😅😅 thank u for the laughs Bianca

[@SharonLeeU1111]

Hilarious!! Love her ❤

[@laurenbenton90]

Her jokes are so great and her delivery is awesome!! Such a diverse set too

[@zimik832]

so freaking genius and talented

[@megibg890]

I love this set lol

[@Marziebot28]

Great story teller, Im excited for more material from her. From beginning to end it worked individually and it all tied together in the end.

[@lalah9481]

Love her!🤣🤣🤣

[@qurshot12]

Every minute of it is great. Hope to see your special in coming days

[@city_guy]

loved this set from a comedian with such a unique and diverse background. the punchlines were on point definitely will be watching for new material.

[@_PhoReal0510]

Haha she’s hilarious very clever jokes 🤣

[@ikitehard]

I like that this is a life story, that's also super entertaining and fun

[@rkbott]

Pure gold!

[@CaraConnors]

So so good!!!! We need more

[@biancacristovao]

Cara you plant 😂

[@annaleevalfig1119]

😂😂😂😂 I laughed from beginning to end 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

[@julianoalfredo8706]

She is a master. Great Set...one of the best ive ever seen...looking forward for more

[@2hard2knock]

A very enjoyable story, doused with moments that tickled my funny bones 😂😂😂

[@GreciaKarlsson.LifeCoach]

So so so good!!

[@hejwej]

One of the best sets I’ve seen in a while

[@bevodonnell1191]

Her timing is excellent, I have to find more of her specials.

[@alexisdamnit9012]

Bruh the ending was funny af 😂

[@gustavomontalvao6927]

That was really funny! Haha

[@johnnybooker]

I loved it!!!

[@em3305]

Top Talent - that woman def. needs to go places! Hope she keeps up the great work!!!

[@andervan]

Amazing set!

[@crayoniii]

Incredible set!

[@sonquatsch8585]

it's not a lie. it was spectacular. i live for great comedy. ever since the early 80s and she is among the absolute top top tier of comedians...she is one of those comedian who is unable to deliver a bad or average set...she will always kill. u can tell because the heat was so dramatic on this...

[@micacam2684]

So good! You killed it! ❤

[@Massiehm0188]

Love this ❤🎉

[@TorQueMoD]

LOL She's really good. This was great :)

[@diananurgaziyeva9862]

absolutely loved it

[@hons6967]

Yeah that last line spot on.😅

[@HerSunHisMoon91]

Lmao she’s hilarious!!!!! 😂

[@mattresbert]

Brilliant stuff ❤

[@originalTeakill]

As someoone from Czech republic it was a nice plot twist, she's funny!

[@flatlined904]

Super funny and clever !!!

[@tonightimsingle]

Surprisingly good 😂 Kudos to her

[@ValeriaA-bx2fu]

She is my new favorite stand up comedian! ❤️‍🔥👏🏼

[@pktv1015]

Best I have seen in a while 😂

[@biancacristovao]

🙌🏾

[@itsdarcy]

🙌🏼 give this girl a special!😊

[@Mandrake591]

Great zinger starting at 7:35, but this whole set is rock solid! 😂

[@zainamaniakimakelly9219]

Loved it❤

[@AntonChigurh989]

That was excellent

[@nothingimpossible2411]

Wow, that's a love from the first video ❤ She's extremely talented