Guiding Principles in Mentoring

The relationship is a meeting of equals, even though you might often be judged more senior than your mentee. In an organizational context especially, it’s a natural feature that someone more experienced might have a more senior role, or be considered to have more status in the relationship. This creates a natural emphasis or bias towards what you think and believe as a mentor. Where your intention as mentor is to provide support and guidance, it is natural that you draw upon your experience and learning to do this.
However, it’s also necessary for the mentee to feel at ease to discuss potentially difficult or awkward topics, ask tough questions and get to grips with the realities of your experience. Another pitfall when we wield too much power in the conversation is that we might assume we are managing the mentee, perhaps through making requests of them, giving instructions or homework. The mentor’s aim is to support the mentee’s growth and progress while increasing their sense of empowerment. If the mentor tries to manage them, this is clearly counterproductive.
The responsibility for learning and growth is with the mentee. It means that if the mentee is not making progress or meeting their objectives for the sessions, then it is the mentee who has the primary duty to act. When you work on this principle throughout the mentoring relationship, it enables both parties to retain a healthy perspective on situations. It stems from the need to place the ownership of the mentee’s results with the mentee, to encourage the mentee to feel empowered in their circumstances, and to help them build commitment.
Where there might be a natural tendency for us to want to ‘help’ or encourage success for the mentee, the potential to feel some ownership or begin to have a specific agenda for the mentee’s progress increases. The principle of responsibility for learning and progress resting with the mentee works best when agreed up front. You and your mentee can agree how you want to work together.