Gretchen Rubin discussing "Rebels"

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Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin

10 жыл бұрын

In a nutshell, under this scheme, people fall into one of four categories--Upholder, Questioner, Rebel, Obliger--depending on how they respond to external rules and internal rules.
Upholders respond to both inner and outer rules; Questioners question all rules, but can follow rules they endorse (effectively making all rules into inner rules); Rebels resist all rules; Obligers respond to outer rules but not to inner rules. To read more, go here.
I'm still refining this idea, and I'd be very interested to hear people's thoughts on my further analysis.
One important question is: what is the main desire or motivation driving the people in the four categories? Here's what I currently believe. Does it ring true to you?
Upholders wake up and think, "What's on the schedule and the to-do list for today?" They're very motivated by execution, getting things accomplished. They really don't like making mistakes, getting blamed, or failing to follow through (including doing so to themselves).
Questioners wake up and think, "What needs to get done today?" They're very motivated by seeing good reasons for a particular course of action. They really don't like spending time and effort on activities they don't agree with.
Rebels wake up and think, "What do I want to do today?" They're very motivated by a sense of freedom, of self-determination. (I used to think that Rebels were energizing by flouting rules, but I now I suspect that that's a by-product of their desire to determine their own course of action. Though they do seem to enjoy flouting rules.) They really don't like being told what to do.
Obligers wake up and think, "What must I do today?" They're very motivated by accountability. They really don't like being reprimanded or letting others down.
Understanding this is important, because if you want to motivate yourself (or someone else) to do something, it's key to know how a person will consider and act upon that request or order.

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Gretchen Rubin is the co-host of the top-ranked, award-winning Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. One of the most thoughtful and influential voices on the subjects of happiness, habits, and human nature, she’s the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including “The Happiness Project,” “The Four Tendencies,” and “Better Than Before”. She lives in New York City with her family.

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Пікірлер: 107
@mesia2453
@mesia2453 5 жыл бұрын
Being a rebel isn't lawlessness it's just playing by your own law. .
@sobeit4920
@sobeit4920 6 жыл бұрын
From the moment I found that I am rebel, my life changed. So many many years I have tried to be more disciplined. And of course I failed all the time, lost the confidence and self esteem. I never thought this could be a tendency. I thought that I just don't have the endurance and felt bad about it. Now I feel so much better for myself and get more things done without much stress. I just do whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like, and however I feel like. No more plan or routine. It really compeletly changed my mindset. I really really thank you so much that you discovered rebel type and for saying that it is okay to be like that. I bought your book to pay back 😁
@nonono9681
@nonono9681 Жыл бұрын
SO, how did it go 4 years later, are you ok?
@juneelle370
@juneelle370 Жыл бұрын
I’d like to know too, please! The reason is I’m a “rebel” in some ways… what she doesn’t get into is this can be from add/adhd/brain injury or even from being raised with a structure that is more like a prison. I think rebels need structure more than anyone but it needs to be in just the right way more than most… like sailing… you sail in a boat (structure) but there is fluidity and freedom combined… being able to adapt, enjoy and know that your structure is not a prison but a tool of more freedom to get you somewhere you want to go… life requires ethical strategy or you’re lost… Sailing to me is the best metaphor for life… we need direction and meaning… and freedom is freedom to make a choice and do the choice and reap the benefits of the natural consequences. We waste a lot of time if we dash our boats on the rocks… the boat is the structure of our daily lives (food, sleep, finances, cleaning, organizing) and sailing the daily actions we take in the direction we want to go (goals, dreams)… and the compass Truth and Love -North & South and ourselves and all other sentient beings West & East. ❤️🌊⛵️🌊🧭
@sobeit4920
@sobeit4920 Жыл бұрын
@@nonono9681 hi, after 4 years I just watched this video again, and it still sounds exactly like me. 🤣🤣I actually have been fully embracing my rebel personality. The biggest and first change was that I have completely let go of my guilt over not being disciplined enough. I no longer feel bad about not doing things. I accepted myself as I am, and I realised how draining the guilty emotion is. I have more energy than I did when I was ten years younger. I bought her book, but it took some time for me to figure out how to deal with my rebel personality. It felt a bit confusing at that time. It was like so now what to do? At least, I knew what not to do. What I'm doing now is not planning; I have some routines, but I break them frequently, and I feel good about it (feel like releasing resistance). Forcing me to do things is pointless and a waste of energy. Honestly, my life is fine! I used to believe I won't achieve anything if I am slack. My life didn't fall apart even I only do things I enjoy. 😂😂 I run my business, I go to the gym, and am constantly learning new things. And I accomplish all of this by embracing the Rebel trait. Hope this helps.😊
@sobeit4920
@sobeit4920 Жыл бұрын
@June Elle I was raised fairly freely, but when I was with my dad, I had to obey him. But then again, my sister is a pretty structured person, so I'm not sure. 😂😂Yes, the direction is important. As long as I know which direction to go, there are always things to enjoy along the way. And even I only choose things I enjoy, I still get the result and am still on the right direction.😊
@websurfer5772
@websurfer5772 Жыл бұрын
@@juneelle370 Yeah, sailing is an excellent analogy. As a rebel, I wake up and see what the weather is like for me today - meaning, how I'm feeling and I'll do what makes the most sense to me in the moment. Some days I push hard like preparing for a storm because I'm up for it, and others, I'm left moored in calm, dead water and I just relaaaaaax.
@tregen3244
@tregen3244 3 жыл бұрын
When I found out I was a rebel, my first thought was "No I'm not."
@bilbobaggins3464
@bilbobaggins3464 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I was like "Nah, not buying it, this is just another BS test." And then I learned more about the rebel personality and I'm like "Yeah, that's me." :D :D
@amayaperry
@amayaperry Жыл бұрын
Damn 😂 this makes a lot of sense because same
@sanguinelife1059
@sanguinelife1059 5 жыл бұрын
I always wondered why I could not maintain a routine! The harder I tried the worse things got! I felt like a total loser! And then you said REBEL and I don’t feel so bad about myself!
@jenk1024
@jenk1024 8 жыл бұрын
I am a rebel and I had denied it for a week. I am a Korean and as a Korean, 'being a rebel' sounds pretty bad. And I think I tried a lot to displine myself 'not to be a rebel'. So, I thought this 4 type thing doesn't work for me. And I shared this with my husband. He instantly went, "you are a rebel." I resented. But I just came to realize, I stopped calling my in-laws when they said please call me more often, I stopped eating healthy when my mother told me that I should eat more healthy things. I don't work well with personal health trainers because I can't enjoy my exercise. The feeling I get when I feel engaged in the moment was gone because of the trainer. I am a REBEL. Now I accept it. So, it' not about whether I have good habits or stable life. I guess it's the inward tedency. But I fight against it a lot because of my culuture. I felt many times that I am inadequate because I can't exercise that kind of execution that upholders can. But now I know why! Thanks!
@ankitashilpa6022
@ankitashilpa6022 3 жыл бұрын
The culture factor holds true for me as well. I am from India, and in India we do have a rich heritage. But the social norms are next to bullshit. For instance - girls shouldn't stay outside late at night, but this is completely fine for males to do. When I hear such stuff, I stand up. I argue, I rebel. I accept I am a rebel. I am a rebel for good. I won't tolerate bullshit! It's so tough to live like that.. but that's how it is
@juneelle370
@juneelle370 Жыл бұрын
The world would be a terrible place without rebels with a good cause. Our biggest modern day heroes are whistleblowers. We need more people who can stand up and give a hard NO to the wrong doings of the world or family or work etc. There are healthy rebels and unhealthy rebels. Just as there are healthy upholders and unhealthy upholders. I’m sure the Nazis just loved upholders that aligned with their beliefs. The word rebel has been smeared in movies and media because these arenas are ran by elitists who don’t WANT rebels to ruin their wrongdoing! Heroes, a large majority of them, are healthy rebels. And for upholders and pleasers--in order to speak up about wrongdoing in the face of harm/backlash to themselves (which you will always face exposing the wrongdoings of the privileged powerful) need to access their inner healthy rebel to get there. An unhealthy rebel will rebel against what is good for them just to prove a point when they could instead take the advice and understand that their actions belong to themselves not the advice giver… they are always running away instead of running towards (and sometimes that running away or standing up is a GOOD & MORAL thing to do) but the inner healthy rebel needs connection with her inner adventurer as well! There are moral things to build as well as immoral things to tear down!
@websurfer5772
@websurfer5772 Жыл бұрын
This Little Piggy Kim - You just helped me understand myself a whole lot better. Thank you.
@sharanyanaidoo
@sharanyanaidoo 4 жыл бұрын
Loving all the comments from Rebels, rebelling against her definition of what a Rebel is. LOL
@TheANaidGirl
@TheANaidGirl 6 жыл бұрын
I may be a rebel according to the test, but I had a very strict moral code(I have created myself, I may add) from an early age and find lawlessness revolting. I know what I have to do, I just hate it when people try to manipulate me to do what they want me to do. Even if the end result is inline with want want, because I don't want them to think, even for a second that I did it because I was told to do it. I feel a need to make it known that I will not listen to them and that they have no impact on my actions. A need to show that my actions are mine alone, that my thought are mine alone. It gets exhausting, because I mentally fight with myself as well, but I am still faring better then someone else I know, who has the same issue.
@TheANaidGirl
@TheANaidGirl 6 жыл бұрын
And then I get irritated that the fact that someone told me to do something actually prevents me from doing that thing I wanted to do in the first place... it makes me furious with myself because it shows how others DO, in fact, impact my decisions.
@jackcarpenters3759
@jackcarpenters3759 3 жыл бұрын
you have a strong moral code of your own, because you can. you are not bound to other people codes
@gabeux
@gabeux 9 жыл бұрын
Haha this year I've discovered my personality type [INFP] and this talk and your concept of categories made my identify a lot with Rebel (and sometimes Questioner). My whole life I've tried to be 'normal' like everyone else, but this year I noticed that by doing that, I was struggling a lot with myself. So I discarded everything and started reading a LOT about personal development, and I'm feeling much better and doing the things I want without such resistence, so I'm becoming a bit of a Questioner too. But the "living in the moment" you said describes me (and INFPs) and also that thing about feeling the wind and all that, so this got me started on how to properly make use of that knowledge. I was always aware I was some kind of rebel - since I was a kid a felt weird because I easily revolted against orders everyone was happy to follow without second thoughts, and I just can't conform to stuff when I hate it, disagree with it fundamentally, or when it violates my values. Of course, trying to be something other than myself for all this time threw me completely off path. And I believe self-knowledge empowers us greatly - specially those who are "weird" or fundamentally differ from social and cultural standards and stereotypes. A Rebel INFP living his whole life trying to impersonate a Upholder ESTJ.. no wonder I was a chronic procrastinator, almost developed a depression and felt so stressed, anxious, disconnected and had ZERO self-confidence/self-reliance and self-discipline and could never get myself to do ANYTHING. Thanks a lot!
@hannahblessing1142
@hannahblessing1142 9 жыл бұрын
What's your favorite book about personal development?
@dash2535
@dash2535 7 жыл бұрын
Hey, I'm also an INFP rebel with questioner tendencies! And I can totally relate to you in struggling due to a lack of conformation and for being different - but even more so in developing and being diagnosed with depression and other mental health issues. I hadn't so clearly connected the two before!! I'm interested in what has helped you so far in your journey of personal development.
@gabeux
@gabeux 7 жыл бұрын
Hannah Blessing ***** Wow it's been a while. To be honest with you, I always had a hard time reading through whole books. What helped me a lot with personal development these last years were simply thinking about something that bothers me (like shyness, or anxiety, etc) and looking up on Google the best articles and books on the subject. Sometimes just reading a preview on a book about a subject gives me the insight I need to make up my own answer to an issue. It helped me get through a lot of things, and helped me to understand my own 'process' of dealing with such things. It's definitely harder than following full-guides (like books and programs) and I don't think there's a manual to it, but it all boils down to "follow your intuition". However, if I had to say the things that sparked me the most and that I'll definitely get to reading..is works by Nietzche, Kierkegaard and Albert Camus. The issues I had were largely explained by these philosophers, and the roots of many 'unexplainable' feelings I have were explored by them. Finally..I think the greatest tip I can give about all this is: Don't just live in your head. I've locked myself up in a room for a couple of years trying to fix all my flaws..when I decided to get back to the world, I started getting really anxious. Turns out I had developed the early stages of Panic Disorder..which is the worst thing I ever lived through. So don't do like me and try to only use reason/introspection/meditation/reading to better yourself. Having a good balance between introspection and 'real life' is the best way to learn and improve: Think about something you want to improve, test it in the real world, keep reflecting and trying until you achieve the desired result! And damn, I wrote a lot. hahaha Good luck rebel folks :D
@justinakropp7321
@justinakropp7321 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your thought provoking comment - I just stumbled across Gretchen's quiz and also found that I am a rebel. I have known for years I am also an INFP, although I hadn't considered the impact that that personality style would have on my ability to change my habits. Perhaps needless to say, it's difficult to make and uphold expectations when there's also this intrinsic need for freedom and living in the moment. What's also interesting is that INFP's make up maybe 1-2% of the population, and in this way, the overall cultural expectation and even information you can find on habits does not easily pertain to people like us, as we think and behave differently for the most part. For this reason, I especially value your comment because in learning the way that we are though self-exploration and of course, a healthy dose of self-acceptance and self-compassion, we can learn to create habits based on our strengths. Trying to meet the other 98%'s expectations felt like I was betraying my way of being. Instead, I will work to embrace it as a strength, and to work with versus against myself :)
@missj794
@missj794 6 жыл бұрын
I am an INFP too and I assumed I would be more the obliging type, or maybe that's who I've been trying to be. Being a rebel type explains why, when I've tried to make myself accountable to an outside source to keep a habit (which is what helps obligers), it would eventually backfire. Even if I forced myself to push through, it's like there is an internal fight of feeling like my freedom is being taken away even if it was originally my choice to do it. Many times if I don't get myself out of the situation, my body will rebel in physical pain to force me out of a situation. I guess my inner rebel will get its freedom by any means necessary.
@sergioveldbloem6085
@sergioveldbloem6085 7 жыл бұрын
ENFP, HSP and a Rebel! I loved to discover this about myself. Thank you, Gretchen!
@GerritTV187
@GerritTV187 6 жыл бұрын
Sergio Veldbloem i got rebel & hsp down being both myself but whats the third one about?
@thesavvyrose5453
@thesavvyrose5453 5 жыл бұрын
Yaaaas rebel and ENFP represent!
@thesavvyrose5453
@thesavvyrose5453 5 жыл бұрын
@@GerritTV187 ENFP is one of the MBTI (Meyers Briggs) Personality Types. Definitely take the test! It's super fun and helpful in learning about yourself. 16personalities.com
@GerritTV187
@GerritTV187 5 жыл бұрын
@@thesavvyrose5453 just took the test i m a Mediator INFP-A / INFP-T ^^
@yuzan3607
@yuzan3607 3 жыл бұрын
I agree. I actually don't like braking rules and I hate people who do, because when rules make sense they're there to make life more efficient. But I still do have a tendency to resist them.
@keithnorm82
@keithnorm82 6 жыл бұрын
I'm a rebel, and I want to connect with other rebels and hear about how you handle different life situations, like work, relationships, etc. Anyone else interested in talking to other rebels? I don't personally know any others in my life. This way of seeing myself is still kinda new to me but it explains so much and I'm loving embracing it instead of fighting against my rebel-ness!
@Ari-ih5un
@Ari-ih5un 6 жыл бұрын
I'd talk with you! i'm 100% rebel and currently working to develop some good habits (which is hard since I rebel against my own rules)
@keithnorm82
@keithnorm82 6 жыл бұрын
Hey Aria thanks for replying! Are you on reddit? I'm thinking of starting a group on reddit, like a rebel support group haha. Would you be interested in that? At the moment I'm most interested in how rebels find happiness with work. I'm now fully self employed and beholden to no one which is great. I'm also interested in personal development and hearing about how others are approaching that while still waving their rebel flag.
@Ari-ih5un
@Ari-ih5un 6 жыл бұрын
yeah that sounds great haha. Tell me when you make the group, I'll join. Congrats on self employment that is probably the ideal for rebels! How do you manage everything though? (I have trouble sticking to my own rules/routines/finishing projects). On reddit I'm sure we can talk more! I'm interested in similar things
@kmcxcrunner1261
@kmcxcrunner1261 6 жыл бұрын
I would absolutely positively join. I'm a extremely type A...ENFP...who also happens to be a rebel (so its kind of the recipe for not achieving happiness). I want to be the best of the best in my work field (mental health), care profoundly about my work (and would do it for free if money was not needed), and yet - I cannot get myself to do things. Because of the work field I'm in, I'm supervised right and left about what to do, documentation that needs to be done, etc. I would love love love to hear what works for other rebels in turns of productivity and habit breaking/forming.
@Xenlacasa45
@Xenlacasa45 5 жыл бұрын
Keith Norman I would like to join
@LadyOcon
@LadyOcon 4 жыл бұрын
I am such a rebel, the quiz told me i am a rebel but i still believe i am a questioner or a obliger... makes sense to me to finally accept i am a rebel by rebel against the test.
@ajoy6850
@ajoy6850 4 жыл бұрын
Your comment made me laugh because I did the same thing
@Gravyman
@Gravyman 4 жыл бұрын
Unfortunatley, I must be a Rebel. My first instinct is to resist because I feel like most external ideas are poorly conceived and infuriatingly inconsiderate 🤬. I'll force myself to question it though, so that I can convince myself with the logic and want to do it. I have a hard time keeping my own deadlines because it feels like an obligation (which is stupid and depressing). I definitely think alot about freedom and wind on my face when I run 😁. However, I do not love all forms of lawlessness, only the ones I approve of through my logic 😂. I am willing to question all of it though.....and I mean ALLLL. I hate the idea dying while being confined by LIES, BS rules and manipulative tactics.
@m1sfit_l0v3
@m1sfit_l0v3 Жыл бұрын
I've tried to be anything other than this, but I can't. As a Rebel, I will always be running off of inspiration and not discipline or grit or whatever. I've found it better to just find ways to be more inspired or moved/compelled to do something rather than try and make myself do stuff. I just do what I want, and I'm happier accepting that than trying to change it. It's just who I am.
@pixieshtick1407
@pixieshtick1407 6 жыл бұрын
I'm a rebel. I kind of like rules, as a guideline for my life, because, as a rebel, I can feel a little lost sometimes. But I do love freedom, and I resist a lot of things.
@pabloparis303
@pabloparis303 Жыл бұрын
I’ve been taking this test since 2015 -- always a Rebel -- gotta accept & learn some tricks to get stuff done.
@meganr9280
@meganr9280 Жыл бұрын
My dad was a rebel, my son is a rebel and someone else I’m close to is a rebel. I just need help in dealing with “the rebel”. My sister pointed out the book to me and I’m waiting on the audio version at my library… just looking for some info on it and how to deal with the rebels in my life 😅
@alisaknv6895
@alisaknv6895 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for changing my life for the better :)
@Carina-Rose
@Carina-Rose 6 күн бұрын
I listened to the audiobook bc I wanted to learn how to help my husband to be motivated to work on his projects. He can be stubborn so I thought he was probably a Rebel, and as I was listening to the first chapter I thought, “I’m probably an Obliger”. LOL, WRONG! He’s a 100% Obliger, always working on other people’s projects, often for free, never can get himself to work on things he wants to do. And I AM THE REBEL. I thought I was sweet and easy to work with, but it turns out… lol. I’ve discussed it with others and nearly all of the Rebels in this particular group assumed they were people pleasing Obligers and they turned out to be Rebel. LOL, we really don’t see ourselves and rule breakers and bucking the system, but here we are. Maybe Rebels present differently in women? IDK. But now I need to figure out how to make this work with me being a homeschool mom. I haven’t been doing it like a normal person and I definitely don’t want them behind, so I need to figure it out.
@beckyobeck
@beckyobeck 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@JC-gm3hq
@JC-gm3hq 7 жыл бұрын
We love lawlessness and breaking the rules and we do the opposite? I'm sorry, tend to disagree with some of that.
@melissaj4469
@melissaj4469 6 жыл бұрын
Jeovan Camacho said like a true Rebel
@angelicarollin
@angelicarollin 3 жыл бұрын
Shocking.
@destructtheconstruct919
@destructtheconstruct919 Жыл бұрын
Rebels love justice. Lawlessness not so much. Just because getting us to do anything is like herding cats does not mean we don't have a moral compass.
@trupti6937
@trupti6937 4 жыл бұрын
I got rebel through the test. But I don't like breaking rules because I don't like getting in trouble
@TheDYNAMITE001
@TheDYNAMITE001 2 жыл бұрын
Oh my God, Will Smith is an Obliger married to a Rebel. It makes sense now! And what happened when he slapped Chris Rock could pass for an "Obliger's rebellion" as it was so out of character. And Gretchen did say, if you're a rebel in a long term relationship, chances are you're dating an obliger..
@emilie1370
@emilie1370 4 жыл бұрын
As a rebel and a blood type B, I have troubles fitting in in an Asian society. People must really hate me haha...
@ankitashilpa6022
@ankitashilpa6022 3 жыл бұрын
I feel the same. Rebels are prohibited in Asian societies.
@Xenlacasa45
@Xenlacasa45 5 жыл бұрын
I feel like she just read me inside out
@absolutelynot6086
@absolutelynot6086 3 жыл бұрын
I would say Its hard to define a rebel because they wouldn't do anything to "be" a rebel. I'd say its more a mindset than a characterisation. My family call me contratian and difficult. I just enjoy opposing and challenging. If you're trying to be a rebel, you've missed the point. It's about authenticity, and freedom. Which is very dependent on the individual.
@vickyfang2195
@vickyfang2195 5 жыл бұрын
INTP, 5w6, and a rebel.... doomed life lmao
@Meekoisbestgirl
@Meekoisbestgirl 4 жыл бұрын
Vicky Fang INTP REBEL, too!
@user-ui7kt4gt8c
@user-ui7kt4gt8c 3 жыл бұрын
omg same!
@vaidehi_n
@vaidehi_n 4 жыл бұрын
My brain (thoughts) are the greatest pain & hurdle in my life. No one else. 😭 My rebellious though process has become 'lazy' & is also a point to add up on my mental illness (depression, anxiety, social fear & many more-) 😭 WHAT SHOULD I DO?
@websurfer5772
@websurfer5772 Жыл бұрын
Buy her book and read it.
@gracelivingangeles
@gracelivingangeles 6 ай бұрын
Resisting this idea that I seem to be a rebel 😮
@a.higginbottom
@a.higginbottom 5 жыл бұрын
is it possible to be a weird mix of obliger and quesioner with a pinch of rebel? i feel like i fit in all categories except the upholder.. on the test i got rebel, but i feel i am not a true rebel, cos i do follow rules and i am more likely to meet outer expectations.
@sandraolliges5786
@sandraolliges5786 5 жыл бұрын
Same here. But I think being a rebel doesn't necessarily mean being mean and evil all the time. Rebels act a lot according to their identity. So, let's say, it is part of your moral codex not to let others down if it is important you will help out. But as soon as is not a vital thing you may decide to cancel last minute. But I'm also not sure if all of that fits me :D
@satya-and-dean
@satya-and-dean 3 жыл бұрын
In her diagram the rings overlap so you can be some of the others also
@milkan.8552
@milkan.8552 10 жыл бұрын
oh my oh my who knew that I could relate?
@websurfer5772
@websurfer5772 Жыл бұрын
OMG they can control me?! No way! Ahhh!!! I must use my Freedom of Choice! I loved the wind in my face back when I could run.
@Tenju96
@Tenju96 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a Rebel, that's pretty clear, my mom could also guess instantly. There's a background of Questioner. I'd never do something if I don't know why I do it, but knowing why is still not enough. I have to pass a certification at my job, a second one actually, and I still haven't used the knowledge I acquired to pass the first one, so it's been one year and I can't push myself to pass the second one. I also probably have ADHD which doesn't help. They might be related, I'm not sure. But now they offer money if we pass the certification which adds a reason to pass it.. Soooo yeah. I should buy the book but I've bought so many books I can't bring myself to read despite being interested..
@Tenju96
@Tenju96 2 жыл бұрын
I'm Chaotic Good :D
@Tenju96
@Tenju96 2 жыл бұрын
Indeed if someone tells me "read this book" my rebellious spirit will arise. If you say "I've read that book and it was really interesting" I might be interested, or even "I think you might like it" with the reason why. But if you try to manipulate me by asking the opposite of what you want, it won't work. My mom used to ask me "which coat do you want to wear?" instead of "put your coat on", I'd just go with "NONE". Obviously that was a long time ago and it was already difficult to manipulate me. I need to feel the "you can't do it" that comes from conviction, not manipulation.
@Iremiah
@Iremiah 3 жыл бұрын
So, at the start of last year I made a new year's resolution to go to the gym. To make sure I stick with it, I signed a 1,5 years contract to the fitness studio. Well, it lasted for 2 months and then I was fed up and never went there anymore depite paying. In the end I ended up buying a lot of sports equip and do it my way in the garden according to my "impulses" ... lots of money waisted... Happend also to many of my purchased online classes... As soon as I bought them/set my expectations, I lost the drive to do it... 😟😟 - a frustrated rebell
@Iremiah
@Iremiah 2 жыл бұрын
An update after a year: I totally forgot about all the rebel theories for a while but got myself to go running regulary anyways! It is like Gretchen said: The fact that I had to move out of my shared flat, which is right at a beautiful river, triggered my fear of losing and made me go run there every day at sunset for 2 months. Luckily, I moved somewhere close, so I kept the habbit! :) Now I link those thoughts together: Running = Nature, freedom, fresh air, and the beautiful sight of sunset which I LOVE.
@shuchismitasreya2885
@shuchismitasreya2885 Жыл бұрын
I loved your comments so much that I had to write it. A like won't express how much I loved this
@Iremiah
@Iremiah Жыл бұрын
@@shuchismitasreya2885Thank you so much! ^^ The trick is really to "fool" yourself by linking something you want to do with what you really love. The update of the update: I changed my job and work in an elementary school now, which is also close to the river! Now I get paid for playing and doing sports with children while looking at the river and I no longer have neck pains anymore from working too much in front of the PC. Finally, my sport equip which I bought 2 years ago are being used! haha I think rebels are really driven by feelings. They are no "head people" but "heart people" :D
@shuchismitasreya2885
@shuchismitasreya2885 Жыл бұрын
Happy for you. I'm still young, I hope my future turns out in a similar way, where I do what I love while also not missing out on what I need
@destructtheconstruct919
@destructtheconstruct919 Жыл бұрын
Woah. 2 months is pretty good. I usually last two days. Well, one month on keto one time.
@fuhgetabatit1051
@fuhgetabatit1051 3 жыл бұрын
So, a cat, basically.
@emmahowes6642
@emmahowes6642 3 жыл бұрын
I'm a rebel by nature, if I feel like I should do something due to formal senses of obligation, I rebel, I don't want to be controlled or told off or to follow societal expectations for their own sake etc. etc. Logical arguments / long term investment arguments to do something don't always work even though I understand them. On the other hand i'm an obliger too because I am easily convinced by emotional arguments. If I can help someone I will, I don't want others to suffer, I became vegan 4 years ago because I hate the thought of animals dying or in pain. I struggle to help myself however as I struggle with low self esteem, which I desperately want to get rid of but seem to self sabotage. I am also very impulsive and emotional, always wanting instant gratification whereas I wish I had more discipline. Definitely not an upholder although I practically revere that personality type as "the best" because I am not that. I question and ponder things all the time however this often leads to overthinking and overanalysing thing in my life which is counterproductive as I waste too much time turning thinking into stressing and worrying. Anyway.... this has been some helpful introspection, gonna sleep lol.
@mianitsche8245
@mianitsche8245 3 жыл бұрын
I'm mainly here for the comments to understand my rebel boyfriend better and how to handle that :) I'm an obliger so sometimes it leads to tension
@hodor9851
@hodor9851 5 жыл бұрын
Sounds familiar...?
@NancyTroutman
@NancyTroutman 2 жыл бұрын
I was told that, because I was an adult, I could not learn to read and write in a new language. It took me about 6 months.
@websurfer5772
@websurfer5772 Жыл бұрын
That's amazing! Which language did you learn? Shalom.
@NancyTroutman
@NancyTroutman Жыл бұрын
@@websurfer5772 Hebrew
@websurfer5772
@websurfer5772 Жыл бұрын
@@NancyTroutman That's Awesome
@JuliaOstrovok
@JuliaOstrovok 5 жыл бұрын
Really??? This is Gretchen Rubin?? I've read the book and imagined her as an old old and slow women and she's young and hot btw O_O I think translator did something wrong because I've read in russian and the language seemed as a language of an old woman.. a little bit funny situation..
@roastry4345
@roastry4345 5 жыл бұрын
Well ifound out i was rebel and i felt proud about it! 😅sorry but its a fact
@jahaadlockket-turner7055
@jahaadlockket-turner7055 3 жыл бұрын
same i felt understood
@missjennemeg1
@missjennemeg1 2 жыл бұрын
Do not agree with the Lawlessness statement, entirely.
@missjennemeg1
@missjennemeg1 2 жыл бұрын
We Rebels need a different label. Rebel sounds bad. What about Freedom Fighter? Idk. Something else.
@websurfer5772
@websurfer5772 Жыл бұрын
I love the word Rebel, but we are also Freedom Lovers and we can be Freedom Fighters if we want to be, but only if we want to. 😉
@xiaoyuzhao9562
@xiaoyuzhao9562 5 жыл бұрын
So fucking like me hahahahah
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