Guaranteed Tips and Tactics to Help You Feel More Confident | Elle Russ on Women of Impact

Hey guys, Lisa here! If you didn’t already know, I am super frikin excited to share that I’m writing a book! To be the FIRST to get sneak peeks about my book and other exclusive content go to: lisabilyeu.com/ and be sure to sign up for my newsletter.
Too often people confuse confidence with bravado or performance. But the most confident people are sometimes the quietest people in the room. That may not be the insight you’d expect from the author of a book called “Confident as F*ck”. But Elle Russ is dedicated to talking about real, genuine, authentic confidence, without neglecting the importance of vulnerability and relationships. And fortunately, she is also dedicated to helping as many people as possible become comfortable with themselves at all times and in any situation. On this episode of Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu, Elle Russ shares some of her best advice for building confidence, dealing with jealousy, negativity, nay-sayers and shame, and learning to choose your battles wisely.
Buy Elle's new book 'Confident As F*ck' here: amzn.to/31vfTEa
SHOW NOTES:
What is confidence? [2:38]
Confident people are kind, authentic, and unafraid to speak up. [3:20]
Elle talks about how she struggled to allow herself to be more vulnerable [6:07]
People will project their own lack of confidence onto you [7:57]
Confident people choose their battles wisely [10:24]
Being jealous and wanting others to lose is a sign of a lack of confidence [14:06]
Elle explains being down with “OPC” (Other People’s Confidence) [16:21]
Elle talks about how to deal with nay-sayers and negative people [17:13]
Don’t try to prove people wrong. Prove yourself awesome. [21:48]
Lisa and Elle discuss the importance of changing your perspective on rejection [24:27]
We trust confident people because they believe they can figure it out [27:39]
Elle discusses shame and disability, and how the shame was actually worse [31:48]
Elle describes the blessings that came with her disability [36:42]
Confidence is built by overcoming genuinely difficult challenges [37:58]
Elle shares her superpower [40:35]
FOLLOW ELLE:
WEBSITE: elleruss.com
INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/3b9eYNV
FACEBOOK: bit.ly/36VXi4U
TWITTER: bit.ly/37V7jkd

[@gummibear1735]

I love what you said Elle, no one cares more about you than you. And this is the reason I let romance walk out of my life, if he wants to go he knows where the door is. And I can keep on working on me. How you do one thing is how you do everything

[@LisaBilyeu]

Gummibear173 you’re it for you! ❤️

[@cg9922]

anyone feel more confident just listening to her?

[@LisaBilyeu]

christine gomolka 👏🏻🙌🏻💯

[@AntonioGonzalez-cu5lt]

Winner of a video, I've been looking for "how to become self confident" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Monharlotte Ideological Magic - (just google it )? It is a smashing one of a kind product for discovering how to become confident and live the life you want minus the headache. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my buddy got great results with it.

[@Sylvivilla]

Yes indeed...! Hello from Costa Rica..!

[@foodcrash9450]

Yes yes

[@sanjaypaul9159]

Yes and I am a male! I am addicted to these shows!

[@zv54]

One day I am going to be in Impact Theory. That's it.

[@zv54]

Isn't it weird that even after having access to years of wisdom we still need reminders to change our mindset!

[@JadesOfficial]

I love her non-victim mentality too 🙌🏻

[@LisaBilyeu]

JadesOfficial . 💯👏🏻🙌🏻

[@JadesOfficial]

@@LisaBilyeu

[@JoEmersonCoaching]

She's right! Victim mentality only causes less confidence

[@KaddyFeast]

That was very enlightening and helpful! I am 50 yr old getting divorced and bartending for now. When people compliment me "how do I do it?" I say "Well, happy is pretty!" I spent decades in depression and anxiety and angry at the world. There's still work to do! This video helped me a LOT! Thanks! (And also Lisa LOVING your style today! Gloves and shoes/socks and off the shoulder tee! Rock it girl! 🎸)

[@lisabilyeu8103]

Kaddy Feast haha thanks homie!!! 😘

[@JoEmersonCoaching]

I love that you are starting your new life with this positive mindset. Great things come to us when we trust in the process and show up to life with gratitude and positivity. 💕

[@vinyasa748]

❤️❤️

[@tatianahawaii13]

❤️

[@TraciJehan]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I really get so tired of hearing ADULTS still blaming their parents. The realest thing I have heard is when Jerrod Carmichael and Charlemagne the God were having a conversation on air and Jerrod said he came to the realization that his dad was just some dude that got his mother pregnant. He was expecting parental behavior from someone who wasn't a parent. Let it go PARENT yourself and move into your purpose

[@LisaBilyeu]

Traci Jehan Watley 💯👏🏻

[@rudetins]

Love what she said! I have a very sceptical family and it's so frustrating because they stop my motivation everytime I want to try something new. I know I shouldn't tell them anymore what my plans are but it's hard. Thank you for this amazing interview, now I have to read her book.

[@JoEmersonCoaching]

I love this! Confident people are kind and authentic - yes! She is BANG ON!

[@zv54]

I want friends like this in my life

[@LisaBilyeu]

Z V ❤️❤️

[@karthikaganeshan8915]

I'm sure you're one 🧚

[@warriorwomenclub2423]

Same! I’m surrounded by people who want nothing in their lives and it’s hard to shut it out

[@johnson2joy]

@@warriorwomenclub2423 MOVE!!!!!!

[@durdonagaibova4125]

Lisa is an incredible interviewer! So many insights from every single episode! Thank you for sharing all this wisdom💛

[@sdla690]

Very true that I have met a lot of adults who still blamed their parents for their failures... we can't change the past but we can start now and change the ending.

[@yajnaraut8202]

Everytime I watch an episode, I wish it never ended and I eagerly wait for these episodes to be broadcasted every Wednesday. Can't thank the impact theory team enough for all of this . Having said that, thankyou soooooooo very much😊😘

[@LisaBilyeu]

yajna raut aww 🥰 thanks so much! So happy we’re bringing you something you look forward to every week 🙏🏻❤️

[@lisabilyeu8103]

What a lovely message!!! Thanks so so much for your support!!!!

[@yajnaraut8202]

A heartful Thankyou to you Lisa and also to Tom. I do wish I could meet you guys one day and show you the transformation that I have gone through in my life because of the content you put in here. I can proudly say that I am obsessed about impact theory and will continue to be so🤗😊

[@LisaBilyeu]

yajna raut 😊😊😊

[@MirandaCasiano]

OMG, I 💜💜💜 the sentiment of not proving a hater wrong but proving to myself that I'm awesome!!!!!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Miranda Casiano 🙌🏻👏🏻💪🏻❤️

[@vongvanna]

Brutally honest and blunt. Love her. When she says the part about “ are you worthy of them but instead of are they worthy of you”. Nailed it!

[@michellem737]

50? She looks fabulous! Beautiful in and out 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@vayneemelious]

I love this episode so much. I think this episode is so empowering and inspiring! Also, I really love what Elle said: “It's not about proving them right, but it's about proving yourself awesome” and “ You hope you like them, you're looking to see whether they're worthy of your time”.

[@LisaBilyeu]

vayne emelious yes!!! All great points! Thanks so much for commenting ❤️🙏🏻

[@mirastaana366]

It's one of my fav interview...Honest. Crisp, relatable...hats off ms.Elle

[@wenilynpastolero]

I have to say this. Some of my teachers don't believe in me and expect me to fail in my college course. And one teacher really goes deep by saying that I should pursue career than passion. I was so devastated by every pressure from them and my family(y'all know how asian parents do it), I failed one major and it struck me so hard when I was just in my first year of college and at the same time, my grandma died. Now, this pandemic brought me here and I'm learning so much by putting myself first and proving to myself that I can improve and I can be successful. Thank you so much to every channel I followed, esp. this channel, which truly gives me confidence and reminding me that my grades are not a reflection of my failure, I'm just heading somewhere else and I'm just figuring things out with my experiences. I really feel relieved everytime I watch and listen to every video here. I didn't gave up and now I'm in my third year of college, hoping I can graduate soon enough to manifest my ideas into real life. I'm currently doing my passion and studying. I started my yt channel this year and I'm playing in a a local band... I love the experiences and I know I can balance my future career and passion.

[@tanyar8761]

Lisa, I LOVE your channel! I love these powerful intelligent and articulate women you invite to your interviews. I learn so much. Also, you as an interviewer! I love everything about this channel.

[@janetbenjamin2561]

Your nervous system is at play here... we are built to seek safety, yet we are in “danger” mode and self protection constantly. A confident person understands how to learn what safe really feels like and discern real danger from perceived danger to INTERNALIZE a sense of self rather than using external regulation from “danger”signals learned from our histories.

[@Kalyanii]

My eyes are wide open after listening to this show!!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Kalyani Somani 👏🏻🙌🏻

[@shannon150]

LOVE THIS!!!! Elles lipstick is made for her lol!❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@LisaBilyeu]

Shannon In The Clouds Motivation lol! ❤️🙏🏻

[@ChristaBello]

Sending positive vibe and blessings to everyone in this community♥️🔥Bless Lisa♥️

[@LisaBilyeu]

Christa Bello SO LOVELY! Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️

[@tannazs6398]

This episode got my SOOOOO hyped up and ready to take on the world!!!

[@dronesandnature]

Awesome and perfect timing for this confidence talk! Inside job. Thank you! 🔥❣💪

[@LisaBilyeu]

Natascha Troehler ANP-C boom!! Glad you enjoyed the episode 👏🏻❤️

[@sashamotovylets1753]

Elle referred several times to having your tribe. I feel like this channel is the right forum to ask. Do you guys have your tribe or at least one friend that is your kind of person? I’ve been working a lot on raising my awareness and my vibrational frequency, and the more aware of myself I become the more aware I am the people around me are unconscious. And I am struggling to find someone who is on the same journey. I totally agree with Elle that we must become what we want to attract. And I am working on that. I just want to know how common it is for people who are going through a change to struggle to find others they can connect with.

[@11jacqueline11]

"Proving yourself awesome!" Love this!!

[@daniyo_ga]

Love her! Elle Russ is so articulate and makes so much sense! Can’t wait to read her books.

[@emoizluv]

Needed this! Thank you!

[@gabyesshakty]

I'll have this episode on repeat for a couple of days. So good!!!

[@NinaCuervo]

LOVED THIS EPISODE. THANK YOU!!!

[@Princess_Slaya]

Amazing!! She touched on so many things that I've been realizing about myself lately, and of the people I've chosen to have in my life. I loved all of this! 🍁

[@lunamagic8]

wow!!!! I like this confident AF woman! LOVE IT

[@DonahMarie]

This is my favourite episode so far. Elle talks about topics I already know, or already aware of, but sometimes we need that push or steps on how to deal with the sitution. Thank you for this 💕

[@monalisakiti]

I so needed to hear this ! My new fave channel 💕 !!! 2 Brilliant Sisters, much inspired & much appreciation.

[@AnnAndNala]

Thank you! I SO needed to hear this! Really great episode!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Ann 🙏🏻❤️

[@stephaniehuerta6534]

You always dig in where I need you to!! Thank you!! Im always over here asking ok but how...ok I did that and now what...as the thoughts leave my mind they enter your mouth to ask them!!! THANK YOU!!! KEEP BEING AWESOMD AF!!! You and your husband...of course Lewis too! Are all helping this crazy mind of mine settle down with all these rockin people!!!

[@stephaniehuerta6534]

I truly love this channel Lisa ❤❤❤ every question you ask is exactly how I need to hear it!!! Thank you!!!

[@santbr]

WOW! Amazing, this interview was the brutal awakening I desperately needed. I must change myself!!

[@mirastaana366]

It will be wish come TRUE meeting u....such confident and unapologetic.....luv it Ms Elle,❤️

[@sanniirella]

This is just what I needed right now. Thank you x

[@dejabethel4626]

Wow, that was so empowering. I really loved and enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much ❤️🙏🏽

[@LisaBilyeu]

Deja Bethel amazing! Thanks so much 🙏🏻❤️

[@THELASHAENICOLE]

This was very reassuring as I seek ways to maintain my confidence against negative people & energies 🙏🏽

[@maimohamed3590]

Thank you so much girls , keep it up😍👏👏🙏✨

[@lyndsiixo]

Favorite convention so far!!!

[@GosiaCanoFitness]

Love, love this episode! Thank you so much for this awesome interview. I am already feeling way more confident.

[@LisaBilyeu]

Get Fit with Gosia amazing! Mission accomplished 💪🏻🙌🏻❤️

[@SavedJohn316]

Love this channel!!!

[@claudinediamond2555]

I love this woman!!!

[@tamartamunanemsadze7750]

She is amazing! Love her! ❤️

[@Devibaba]

Great conversation -- Many thanks to you both.

[@emilyparr2747]

YES TO ALL OF THIS!!

[@cynthiastoner5820]

Awesome awesome amazing. Thank you Lisa.

[@pruekelly2104]

Lisa, Your interview style is fantastic! Your warmth and genuine approach always seems to get the best from people. Thanks

[@LisaBilyeu]

Prue Kelly ❤️🙏

[@Saffron.Aerowyn_07]

I love how Lisa allows her guests to speak...not like the girls on THE VIEW 😜

[@Saffron.Aerowyn_07]

I really like how Elle & Evy are the guests who can get us girls to get in touch with our inner BAD-$$...love your channel, Lisa. 👠

[@aziaa.8663]

i totally love her speaking, fast and confident and very clear with sense my brain can easily pick up soo good and imagination is quick i like it i learn better from her 😘 thanks a lot.

[@xiaohanzhang7181]

This brought tears to my eyes. Very touched

[@elianacordobasepulveda6887]

God bless people like you guys!

[@katarinapavkovic7149]

My favorite Women of Impact epsiode so far!!! Thank you so much

[@Sunflower-ej9xd]

Thank you. I really enjoyed it! Something about this person's vibe seemed so authentic and real ^_^ Love it !

[@alejandramoreno8352]

Energy and vibrations is everything to better our days! Just finish reading a book that goes deep into how we flow our energy and the effect negative thoughts and feelings have on our life. Thank you for this amazing conversation/ interview! 💪💖🔥👑👊🙏🌎

[@hmm2095]

Alejandra Moreno what is the name of the book?

[@LisaBilyeu]

Alejandra Moreno pleasure lovely 😊❤️

[@alejandramoreno8352]

@@hmm2095 Excuse me, your life is waiting by Lynn Grabhorn

[@ivyminx6090]

I just love this channel

[@zv54]

She's so naturally pretty! Also I need her to be my coach!

[@joanafonseca2816]

Great timing! Love how she harnesses her disabilities as a way to find her power. Thank you for this!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Joana Fonseca pleasure! Glad you enjoyed the episode 😊❤️

[@aididou]

This is an amazing episode that came at the right time. Awesome insight xx

[@LisaBilyeu]

Aida Js sooo happy to hear it! Thank you 😊❤️

[@zzzing23]

I have to learn to be more confident and have confidence. I will say that it doesn’t help when you have people in your life like family or a friend shame you, doubt you, make negative comments, etc... when this happens to me I just try to turn my head and walk away from them.

[@JoEmersonCoaching]

"What other people think of me is none of my business"

[@turkanismail1848]

@@JoEmersonCoaching Easier said than done, it could easily just be your being defensive

[@turkanismail1848]

If its up close and regular i totally understand you.

[@LH-fz3bq]

Great episode

[@kellycraytor]

This was so amazing thank you 💋💋💋💋

[@Hummibird05]

This was so on point! 💕

[@LisaBilyeu]

❤️❤️

[@speakintothemicb]

I love love love her lipstick!

[@JL-sw3sb]

I love this interview.

[@LisaBilyeu]

j lim 🙌🏻🙏🏻❤️

[@melaniebrown4823]

"Not necessarily proving them wrong, is about proving yourself awesome"

[@melissaszarka5718]

Be honest about how you feel.... it’s better for a close personal relationships.

[@JazmineLAMBARCA]

Thank you Elle for saying that anyone can make an 180!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@LisaBilyeu]

JazmineLAMBARCA 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

[@JadesOfficial]

This is so helpful!! 😍

[@LisaBilyeu]

JadesOfficial . Yay! 🙌🏻💪🏻👏🏻

[@LydiahOjowiWomenACTSAfrica]

Inspiring!

[@soniak5028]

mercury in aries energy - i love it !

[@ask_danielle]

Thank you lovely ladies

[@drpallavikhairnar1206]

You are inspring ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@filippavivianne]

Thank you or sharing this! 🙏🏽❤️

[@LisaBilyeu]

Filippa Vivianne pleasure ❤️

[@franicamangione4243]

Love your gloves girl!

[@josievaccaro]

Lisa thank you so much for women of impact and thank you so much for bringing us women closer together. You have no idea how it's changing my life for the better. Not just me, though. Thank you.

[@zv54]

Hi there beautiful Lisa, I have so many questions, but one of many is this: I'm a British born but very obviously looking Indian ethnic minority female, very unattractive, wonky, mocked, humiliated, I'm currently still enduring a very difficult life of abuse, trauma, lack of support, isolation, suicidal ideations, lack of clarity severe depression and anxiety, I'm undeveloped in body and growth and diseased in skin despite my age of mid 20s, can't drive, unqualified, long term unemployed, mature student and unvalued volunteer. I am by no means feeling sorry for myself/making excuses/being negative/hiding away/anything like that but I am very much terrified of people especially because of the many years of bullying which funnily enough got worse after age 21 and people cab be so nasty you would not believe me if I told you some of the scenarios I've faced. Anyway despite all of this hellish existence, I really want to study, work and be a success although I'm still not sure of a career path. I have not been offered any jobs and I apply mostly for entry level /trainee posts alongside being a volunteer. I did work at McDonald's and as a carer a few years ago but for bullied so badly I left. Not because I'm weak but because I have enough respect for myself not to put up with ulthat bullshit. After that I've never have any paid work which let me tell you is not ideal especially as an abuse victim who is reliant on very corrupt, disabled, unemployed, outcast, Immigrant parents. I REALLY want and need and deserve to get a paid job to do alongside my part time course but in having no success. I've adapted my cv and cover letter and applications to every post but still sat here unemployed and therefore I can't afford to buy and do the things I want. If and when I do eventually get offered a job (and I'm losing patience by the day as I'm 24 and people my age are parents and managers and entrepreneurs) how can I ensure that people treat me with respect and that if or when challenges arise how can I assure that my assertiveness and standing up for myself actually pays off. Trust me Ive always stuck up for myself and been very conscious but whensver I've appealed or been assertive it has always backfired on me so badly and I never ever got any support. I am sure you can understand why I am so anxious and hesitant and I even have resorted to self harm in the past because then constant bullying and rejection both from outsiders and family has been too much to bear. I don't come from a white, working class/middle class /upper class privileged family with freedom and independence and room for growth. I have been imprisoned and abused and stifled in so many ways and one of the worst is the mental trauma which has certainly mpacted my body and appearance. I'm not encouraged nor allowed to study or work so even the fact u go to classes 2x a week is an aparrsnt act of shame and rebeliion, would you believe it. Whilst my peers, coloured and white, female and male, and free and thriving, I am sat up here in extreme fear and failure, still longing to break out of these. If you have any relevant and helpful real world advice for me, to help me move into employment and be treated with respect, I'd be very thankful. Sadly, I don't have the skills and brains like you so I can't become an entrepreneur and work for myself and don't have the support. If I'm going to work for someone, it better be good, rewarding, opportunistic, worth it. Thanks in advance. Love, a day 1 impact theory fan.

[@YeseniaGalvan]

Z Vwow thank u for sharing your story so openly ❤️❤️❤️ you are resilient. Once I started reading your post I couldn’t stop. It struck a chord inside me. I’ve also experienced abuse in my life and have lacked resources to get the things I’ve wanted like a college degree. I think because of that we hurt and struggle more than the average person. I’m still in the process of healing and changing my limiting beliefs so that I can end the generations poverty and trauma in my family. I want a better future for myself and my loved ones. I think your on the right path of following your dreams even if it may not be clear yet on how to get there. One step at a time. It sounds like your going to school which is awesome, you may not know what degree you want just yet but try taking different classes and see what class you enjoy the most. Maybe if there is a therapist center that offers free counseling sessions so that you can begin building a support system outside of the people you know. If I’m school maybe striking up a conversation with someone that’s been friendly too you (has smiled and said good morning to you) can lead to study buddy’s at school. Continuing to read self help books and watching videos like this will also help us for sure. The things I’ve mentioned above have helped me begin to feel better and so I wanted to share this with you. Your heart is so big and strong and you deserve this better future for yourself. Your worth it. And I strongly believe when it’s your hearts desire, God will guide you as long as you continue moving forward. I don’t know you but I love how openly you shared your story and how your so self aware of what’s been blocking your progress but desire to find a way through it. I’m confident that if you continue having that mindset of asking how you can get employed and finding answers and continue to apply to jobs, finding ways to update your resume or improve your interview skills you will absolutely land a job!!! No doubt! It’s preserverance, your job is out there I know it just continue applying! Include your volunteer experience on your resume etc. Believing in you, Yesenia Galvan

[@MissShiruski]

Not sure how it works in Britain but there must be social services and/or employment support for people with disabilities or some sort of limitations. Also support services for women specifically, both government and non-profit offered through NGOs. Dont give up! There is a place for all of us under the sun as long as you are willing to make an effort. Best of luck!

[@simonajones2226]

Love this, teared up within the first 15 mins

[@LisaBilyeu]

Simona Jones ❤️❤️

[@dionysiapapadatou3996]

The woman is so real....!

[@JessicaSkyy]

Awesome!

[@melissaszarka5718]

Some quiet people are confident! Great advice.

[@kimily2133]

J'adore 🇨🇵 I love your content. It's awesome and so inspiring 💕

[@Krystalwatchesvideos]

I needed this conversation so badly! Keep pushing everyone! You're worth it! :)

[@LisaBilyeu]

Krystal E love the support you show others! Thank you 💕

[@zillahmills6549]

I LOVE THIS SHOW, THANK YOH LISA XXXXXXXX

[@chynnhowe]

This resonates with me so much. I have zero problem in my career being confident or speaking up for myself, and I always get promoted to a leadership position but when it comes to romantic relationships, everything scares me and I feel like I’m a scared baby walking through a minefield.

[@turkanismail1848]

This is where I don't agree with her making two teams, confident and non confident people. Its not black and white.As you have said within yourself it is true to be confident in one area and not another. Its work in progress. Even when you have it you can lose it that's life

[@leahperrson3067]

That was brilliant. Thank you both. Plus i need to know where those boots are from? 👢😍❤️

[@sarahmarzouq1935]

Thank you 🙏

[@Hellowhatup98]

omg I love her so much

[@jocelynflores520]

Yeah uh...gonna go ahead and a...rewatch this until I can memorize every line... XD This was great. Thank you. 🙏

[@annee5582]

Shell: confident aura. Inner: deeply wounded. Sounds like you and I both.

[@zillahmills6549]

I would so love to be like Elle Russ she’s so confident and knows just what to say in these awkward moments and that quote is awesome I’ve wrote it on my fridge!! ❤️🙏🏻🌈💫🕊🦋💎💎💎💡💡🔦🔦🔦. HERES TO CONFIDENT WOMEN LOVE YA !! ❤️🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@justinanothard724]

Thank you!

[@LisaBilyeu]

Justina Nothard 🙏🏻❤️

[@FF-fb3vd]

Gonna buy her book a.s.a.p. ))) I need this in my life - right now! :-)

[@LisaBilyeu]

F F 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@samanthamongelluzzo1523]

Love this!

[@smithswilliams9116]

Why do I love this woman so much 😂😂