Gynecologist Reacts: OUTRAGEOUS Medical TikToks

These medical TikToks are so extra - today we're breaking them down from incredible costumes to seriously outrageous and scary complications with lots to learn, every single one of these is worth watching!
* SOUND WARNING AT 4:52*
(sorry, I had to add music over the copyrighted song and I didn't adjust the volume)
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** The information in this video is intended to serve as educational information and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information, contained in this video is for general information purposes only and does not replace a consultation with your own doctor/advanced practice provider. **
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[@maddiejoy6619]

I heard someone say once that there's a good substitute for breast milk, but there's no good substitute for a mentally stable parent.

[@spacelasertech8359]

My friend had to stop breastfeeding because she was getting crippling migraines. It was a choice between breastfeeding or being able to take care of her baby. So naturally everyone gave her flak for it.

[@got2surf90]

Love that

[@justine16364]

@@spacelasertech8359 As a retired OBS RN, it drives me crazy that people give a mother such a hard time when she makes a choice to formula feed instead of breastfeed her baby for whatever reason she has.. As long as mom and baby are doing well, baby is gaining well and is healthy, it is no one's business other than mom, her supportive partner and baby. People should offer support with whatever feeding choice a mom makes.

[@jennifermoisan9914]

Yes. I was unable to breast feed my son and the nurses were awesome, even the breastfeeding nurse (the one who shows you how to) was encouraging with me to use formula. Then again with my daughter. It just wasn’t working, the public health nurse said to give it two more days then go to bottle, that night my husband had enough and bought formula. I hadn’t bonded at all with my daughter but after switching I started to

[@westzed23]

Well said.

[@steffanixoom3629]

"If you've never had a sexual partner, it makes a lot more sense to wait longer" THANK. YOU. No one ever considers people in their 20s+ who may not have had any sexual partners. In the rare cases it actually got brought up (usually by me) I have /always/ been treated like I was lying or they didn't know what to do with that information. People who haven't had any sexual partners exist THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THAT

[@helenanilsson5666]

Yeah, I turn 32 this year and the asexuality is still going strong, so anything sexually transmitted is categorically Not My Problem 😁 I'll probably go to the cancer screenings at some point in life, when I get in the risk zone for cancer in general, but right now I'm not in a hurry ;)

[@tranmthu]

My first visit to an obgyn was at the age of 26. The doctor was nice enough but the nurse was like "you're a virgin? why?" I'm just not interested, sex doesn't seem that appealing to me, especially not with men. Sadly the ultrasound was only free for virgins under 20 years old so it's always 20€ extra when they check my uterus and ovaries :( Most of my close friends are 25+ and have not had any sexual partners, yes we exist!

[@Shirayuuki1]

@@helenanilsson5666 lol almost 30 myself with no previous partners. lol definitely not my problem. tho that little freak out when my period has been unusually late and im like, "immaculate conception!" XD

[@coachave87x]

I'm 28 and I just responded with "I haven't met anyone I want to have sex with"

[@Panda72021]

Yup, I'm in my mid-20's and have never been sexually active (Have no plans to be either, pretty sure I'm ace). Because of this (and because I have a condition that causes pelvic pain) I have been lucky enough to not have had any internal pelvic exams. A few doctors I went to were pretty insistent. One doc tried to prep me for a Pap smear when I was 22, during a routine visit, and I was like "HELL NO!" like even if I was willing to go through that, I would think that it would be something that would have been discussed BEFORE I was physically in the office. I also had a doctor try and convince me to do an internal ultrasound for pre-op testing...and I flat out refused that too because there was no way in hell that the internal ultrasound wand was even gonna fit inside me, let alone be doable without me being in agony. I am now with a specialist who understands my condition and has reassured me that she won't put me through the excruciating experience of a pelvic exam. When I had surgery to remove foreign tissue from my pelvic and abdominal organs, she was going to scope me through my vagina to look into my uterus while I was under anesthesia (pre-discussed before the actual procedure). But after waking up after surgery she said "yeah, I didn't do that because you're really small and narrow down there, and I didn't feel the need to force things". It felt really good being cared for by someone who ACTUALLY took into account what my body can and cannot handle.

[@619rachel]

“Through the birth canal or the sun roof” 💀💀💀 it took me a few seconds to realize she’s talking about a C section 😅 I’m definitely using that in the future

[@Yuukichan1888]

my mother had one natural and and 2 c-sections we always called them sun roof

[@user-ed5zl2cw2h]

I might be mistaking, but probably "sun roof" is a junk term for emergency cesarian section, when the belly is sliced open with a long cut along the abdomen. Then it would look like an opening of a sun roof to me...

[@mcnvgg1e]

I was a "sun roof" baby meaning C-section XD

[@kathyhill6409]

Never heard the sunroof until my daughter said it about herself, lol

[@scoutlaceharding]

It has always seemed insane to me that after nine months of growing a literal human and then getting the human out (which frequently involves things tearing and sometimes requires a surgery that is literally cutting open your abdomen) the next step is not a two week getaway at a spa on a tropical island but CARING FOR A NEWBORN. Nothing like caring for a completely dependent life 24/7 on no sleep while healing, at least, a placenta shaped wound inside you (I'm not saying it's horrifying. But it's still a wound that needs to heal). Oh, plus, here's a bunch of hormone fluctuations just to keep things interesting. How is that how it works? And THEN people have the nerve to be judgmental about you not being sufficiently blissfully overjoyed? Those people should step on a lego.

[@anna_in_aotearoa3166]

Great comment!! 😂 And THEN, you go straight into years of being responsible for keeping them alive, probably barely having time for a personal life or to keep whatever romantic relationships you have alive, and knowing you're personally responsible for much of whether they turn out a decent human being... And THEN, they turn into a teenager and you have to deal with a hormone-driven drama monster for another 6 years or so 😅 Oh, and BTW the judgements from friends, family, strangers & society dont stop at any stage in that process, either.... Honestly, anybody who intentionally tackles parenthood is something of a super-hero in my eyes!!

[@karenn.396]

My husband and I remind each other with each baby that the first two weeks are ALWAYS rough even if you’re doing your absolute best. They are just always so challenging. It really helped us to remember that you can do everything in your power but this new human is still going to test you 😂

[@chellesama8256]

I'd rather waddle around awkwardly after a vaginal or c-section (I've had both) than risk a life ending blood clot. To be fair, I was a surrogate so I got to skip the crying and just pumped every 3 hours for 6 weeks.

[@carolsimpson4422]

"Step on a lego" 😂 😂

[@ShilasSpellboundCreations]

After my first kiddo, I had an appt with my OB/Gyn and I was so uncomfortable from the postpartum bleeding. I tried to cancel my appt. My doctor called me (he had been my doc for years at that point) and he said "Shila, if a women bleeding was the WORST thing I had to see in my day, I would consider myself lucky. You just had a baby. Be here at 3." HAHAHAHA it put things into perspective for sure lol

[@hoppytoad79]

😄 Definitely does put things into perspective! They sound awesome.

[@xSwordLilyx]

Been having pelvic pain roughly where my ovary is, went to the doctor last week to see what's to be done (nothing so far) and obviously had a pelvic. My period was so heavy and wretched, and I was having cramps for actual hours of intense pain and feeling faint, fullness in my abdomen, so I had made the appointment the day before and was on the last day of my period. I was having more mild sustained pain. The speculum made a bit more of a mess of it than there normally is but we got all the samples we needed and it was hardly mentioned, and they had plenty of nice wipes for me, also of course I was as clean as I could get while bleeding old blood from time to time. It was also only a little bit more painful, and honestly it was a relief in itself to take my pants off. What I think it is that I have a cyst on my ovary (again) that started bleeding the last time I had sex (again). It looks like I will need to see an OB to be sure, and I have been told a little more sternly it is time to get on hormonal birth control. I even made an appointment to do it but I got cold feet. I have migraines and I was terrified of getting a blood clot, though my doctor has told me in more detail that (essentially) the warnings about that are a guard from culpability. I know migraines already put me at risk for blood clots, I was worried about how difficult it was to ascertain if they combined. I'm so glad at least I don't smoke. I guess I'm going to be abstinent for a while, I hope it's the *doctor* who tells my bf 💅👌 It's still going to be rough every time I need to poop, but at least I've seen this one before. Last time got me in the ER because I nearly fainted, and upon discharge I was aquainted with the signs I or my ovary were in fact dying, put on bedrest for several days. I am wondering whether my new one is big enough when I get my nonemergent ultrasound for that to happen again. I've been in more and more pain on my periods for three months so it's possible. What sucks is that there is really no way for me to know I shouldn't be having sex until I do, as there are 'normal' pains I get from IC pelvic pain that are hardly distinct, or at least I'll play it off until the morning after reality. Guess I have to keep doing the stupid idea to find out it's stupid. It wasn't that bad until I went and did that. Also, omg I have never seen so much blood. Anyway, I got more of a talking to about not using a condom (on my period! with my bf!) than I did about my unavoidable bleeding situation (and I was nice enough to not make them pull anything out of there), though they ran, again, tests for STIs that were clean, again, to rule out that causing my pain. My bf and I have not done anything to pick one up. I know you can never really tell, and yes, I would be very mad if I slept with one man usually using condoms and still got chlamydia. Also a pregnancy test. Yup, definitely my period. I was relieved I had my legs shaved for once but I knew nobody else cared about any of it and they are the only thing I shave. I have never had a problem with it. Doctors are no more neanderthals than men are (men who say they only go for bald women are liars or fools, a woman is a woman and that's how we're made), and they're not here to look at your pubes unless you have crabs and they're basically extinct. Not feeling ashamed of my body is what I appreciate my mom the most for.

[@n.c.pictures]

@@xSwordLilyx my mum had very bad cysts on her uterus. They were malignant so her uterus had to be removed. Maybe removing your ovary that gets the cysts would help? No doc, just speaking from personal experience.

[@olispinoli]

@@xSwordLilyx my sister and I have basically the same thing as you are describing. Let me tell you the info I've learned over the last 8+ yrs of suffering before FINALLY finding a doctor who listened. If you suffer from migraines (I do), ask for birth control that does not have estrogen in it. I have progesterone-only and for the first time have 0 side-effects from this pill. The previous pills I tried were mixed (estrogen+progestin) and caused such intense migraines that my current doctor said she was surprised I didn't have a stroke... Both my sister and I have ovarian cysts that are the size of a softball or larger. Her doctor removed hers within a few weeks of determining she had a cyst. My sister was afraid of vaginal ultrasound (it doesn't hurt, she was just uncomfortable), but her doctor knew what it was based on her symptoms. Doctor ended up having to remove her ovary, but doctor told my sister it won't affect her fertility. My doctor (different city) first recommended surgery, then, for whatever reason, refused. After 6 months and many arguments later, I went to my sister's doctor and now, 2 weeks later, I am about to get my cyst removed, too!!! The emotional relief alone is worth it to me and I'm terrified of medical procedures!!! Tl;dr: research doctors. Ask friends and family for doctor recommendations. Ask for an ultrasound. Try hormonal birth control to see if that helps (it lessened my pain quite a bit, but still bad enough that I can't exercise without wanting to hurl myself into oncoming traffic). And if it still hurts ask for surgery. Unfortunately, many doctors still don't believe women when we say we are suffering!!! I've experienced this attitude from both male and female doctors.

[@misbeautifulable]

@@xSwordLilyx have you been discussing your doctor for possibly if you have pcos? That what it sounds like what you have it something you have to bring it up to the doctor or your gyno they are clueless sometimes.

[@mommakimmins5554]

Having had a pulmonary embolism with no known risk factors I cannot fathom the terror her husband went through thinking he'd lost her right as they were about to have their baby. I'm very glad she, like me, was saved. Horrifying.

[@JustSheilz]

Same. Had a PE after C section and was rushed back. So glad I was lucky enough to see my kids grow up after that experience.

[@Kaytka]

Yes, when my baby was 3 weeks (born c section at 35 weeks) I had PE’s in both lungs, and my left leg fully clotted from stomach to ankle. The fact that I’m alive is truly a miracle. My poor husband went through so much, between my care and caring for a 3 year old, 17 month old and a premature newborn. When I hear of these stories it’s very hard, especially if they don’t make it. 💔

[@plainsong76]

I had a double PE from birth control pills. No other risk factors either.

[@tomeeshahaller4226]

@Kristina Lombardi I had a PE in both lungs being on birth control pills for years in February. It was completely out of the blue for me too.

[@cassie1790]

I’m sorry you went through that, but I think you heard her wrong. She said amniotic fluid embolism, not pulmonary embolism. A PE is still an emergency that can have a poor outcome, but chance of dying overall is about 10% (higher for a saddle embolism). It doesn’t make what you went through any less terrifying, and i don’t want to come across that way. Rather, I want to make sure people know the difference, since an AFE is only associated with pregnancy. Most die suddenly with no prior warning, and there is little that can be done after the matter. This is why the ER doc assumed she was already dead. If you were not properly informed about potential AFE during or after labor, then your doctor failed you. Edit: I want to add this. There is a reason you’re not seeing people share their story of their amniotic fluid embolism. People need to know about them before they give birth

[@LilKitten9620]

I have a lesion on my cervix from being sexually abused when I was little, and every time I get an exam the OB/GYN always comments on it...my OB now never comments about it because we already had done 2 biopsies to check for cancer and they were both had no cancer cells. I honest enjoy having a female OB instead of a male one, especially because of my childhood trauma. She is definitely amazing

[@rosalicious444]

Wow thats horrying. No women in the world to go through that pain. The fact that this still exists is frightening for women especially minors. You are truly amazing for having to go through those ridiculous experiences. (And kudos for the female OB/GYN.......)

[@hanin_gurl]

That is really good for you. Having been sexually abused and having a male OB/GYN is probably uncomfortable. Definitley if the abuser was male (as i am suspecting due to the lesion) I am so sorry you had to go through that.

[@andreajackson1958]

I feel the same way! I have a female primary care physician too!

[@starscream4812]

My prayers got to you

[@deandenise4]

So glad you have a great doc now! Don't expect the doctor to remember every client but damn read the chart! My dd first pediatrician asked every visit if she had turned over yet, even though she had done it at 2 weeks. I started to really hate that doc. You deserve better than you had and so glad you found one!

[@caitieeeee]

I am a wax specialist and the amount of clients who feel like they have to remove their hair before a gynecologist appointment is astounding. I always try to tell them that the OBGYN staff definitely doesn't care about hair, but it's hard to break that conditioning.

[@jillybean4265]

Because we’ve been told as females, we shouldn’t have hair anywhere except top of head and eyebrows. I’ve heard this since the 70’s. I’ll never get over it. I even feel the need to remove hair before seeing a wax specialist. Imagine what I go through for a new partner!

[@skateata1]

❤

[@AramatiPaz]

Do you know the wax style most countries call "Brazilian"? In Brazil we call it "maternal" bexause there's some culture about doing it when the due date is near.

[@n.c.pictures]

@@AramatiPaz in that case it sort of makes sense. It's less messy and easier to clean afterwards. But for beauty standards, meh.

[@ametista8180]

@@AramatiPaz I'm brazilian and I have never heard anyone saying that? De onde vc é?

[@alexwohlgemuth4099]

Re: “fed is best”, I always thought it meant “it is better to feed them than not feed them. If formula is how you have to do that, it’s fine.” Not “formula is better than breast milk”

[@lauraluvsyou4958]

it does. what she was saying when talking about her stance on feeding/breastmilk vs formula, is literally what fed is best means. Fed is best is not "formula is best"

[@jackfrosty4674]

bad stuff ... Baby medical kidnap by hospital. USA is a video. see now. 2022. Yesterday Idaho Lt. Governor Janice McGeachin appeared on the Stew Peters show and said that she had reached out to Governor Brad Little to intervene in the Baby Cyrus medical kidnapping case, but that he refused. Due to parents not taking the clotshot they took him away from his breastfeeding mother and are trying to give baby to a foster family. Baby healthy and trying to give it away. The hospital in Boise, Idaho doing this. Child trafficking ring. Think for safety of own children.

[@16poetisa]

Maybe this sounds weird, but honestly the way Kitten Lady approaches this with her infant fosters is so much more practical and judgment-free. Even if the mom is taking care of the kittens, she still weighs them and tops them up on formula to make sure they're getting enough food.

[@solar0wind]

@@16poetisa Yeah, you could just do both if necessary.

[@theincarnationofboredom207]

@@16poetisa didn't think I'd see a kitten lady viewer in Mama Jones comment section! Hi.

[@estefaniac.1011]

I'm so sorry, Dr. Jones, but the fact that the uterus gets that big while the baby is inside is way more horrifying to me than the placenta wound thing. I guess it makes sense but I never really thought about it. My mind has been blown.

[@candicecart9786]

It gets wayyyyy bigger if you have multiples!!! Have you seen some of those women with 5 or more babies in their uterus!!!!! 😱😱😱😱

[@roselover411]

@@candicecart9786 at least if you're having multiples it makes sense for the uterus to be so huge. One single baby equals _that huge_ a uterus? Terrifying! Also I'm quite small for a woman, 5 ft tall and slim, so imagining my uterus growing that big is very scary. Pregnancy is going to be...interesting.

[@moniqueengleman873]

The placenta is beautiful. My doctor put her arm inside it and stretched it out and it looked just like the Tree of Life. We took it home and planted a tree for my daughter. Some people eat theirs. Just FYI

[@hoppytoad79]

You should see what a cervix at 10 cm dilated looks like. 😲

[@jcoopes5604]

And then we push it out!

[@JessicaBiggers]

I remember, when I had my kids, breastfeeding wasn't very popular (yes, there was a time period, at least in U.S. society, when breastfeeding was "out of style" until people started seeing celebrities doing it 🙄) and there was a discussion about taking my child away (within my EXTENDED family, it's important I make that distinction since the immediate family was AWESOME) because she was "underweight". She had started off a little larger since she had breastmilk jaundice and had to be exclusively formula fed while under the UV lights and THEN I had mastitis. I was literally weeks postnatal and I saw the doctor regularly and he never said ONE WORD about her being underweight and I brought it up to him nearly in tears. He was in his mid 70's, from another country, and was used to dealing with a variety of feeding types (breast, formula, combo, etc.). He looked at me and said, "Does she eat regularly?" I nod. "Does she keep it down?" I nod. "Does she seem unhappy or unsatisfied after eating?" I shake my head. "You're a good mama." He then explains that you shouldn't compare formula weight to breastmilk weight and should, instead, be checking the child's NUTRITION. He said, after every exam, she's been weighed, her blood checked, and her growth examined. She was fine and to ignore them. So ALL mothers go through "feeding stigmas" and ALL mothers shouldn't have to!!

[@tracyodrowski8766]

Thank you for sharing that!! Im so glad you had a great doctor to put your mind at ease❤ I hope more ppl read this and understand that as long as the baby is eating & thriving whether its from formula, breast feeding or pumped breast milk that's all that matters.

[@merrymata2547]

I definitely remember how unpopular breastfeeding was. When I had my first baby, they tried to give me pills to dry up my milk. I told them I planned to breastfeed, and they were a little shocked. They insisted on giving her formula the first day, and after that they gave her a bottle before letting me breastfeed each time. They also made me wash my breaststroke and use rubbing alcohol on my nipples each time. I think my daughter missed out on the colostrum. They kept me in hospital for three full days, for really no reason.

[@merrymata2547]

Breasts, not breaststroke.

[@lapislazarus8899]

Ohhhhh mastitis! That is painful, and dealing with jerkwad family on top of everything you described is downright awful! I hope that today you are loved and supported and as happy as circumstance will allow.💗

[@lapislazarus8899]

@@merrymata2547 a fellow I dated mother told me that same nightmare experience. They'd give him sugar water before bringing him to her so he'd be super fussy and they told her that it was her fault if he didn't want to nurse!

[@amberdewaard4414]

*I LOVE THAT YOU ARE GIVING CREDIT, BY NAME, TO EACH INDIVIUAL CREATOR WHEN USING THEIR CONTENT!!* I see so many KZbinrs reacting to videos without acknowledging the creator at all! Good on you girl!!!

[@IAMCHIDERA]

When a video ends the creator’s name is there, credit has been given

[@beesaregreatittheyprns2875]

@@IAMCHIDERA it's almost never clear, almost never readable so.

[@IAMCHIDERA]

@@beesaregreatittheyprns2875 credit is still given

[@RaineInChaos]

MDJ: That creator is notsosmugnow Me: well that's kind of judgmental, I thought that was a good video Me after rewinding to see if I missed something: Ohhhhhh okay that makes sense 😅

[@ambermist]

No matter what I did, I couldn't produce enough milk to keep my daughter satiated. After a week of her constantly crying because she was always hungry, my mom gently suggested formula. I cried because everyone had made me feel so bad about not breastfeeding. After that first bottle, my daughter was satisfied, happy, and we were both able to sleep. Parenting is such an individual experience--each child is different, each parent is different, even children in the same family are different!

[@ignightroad]

My sister struggled to get pregnant and when she finally had her daughter, her daughter could NOT latch. She felt like such a failure. Happy to report that her mommy friends all gave her advice that was not what she was recommended and my niece is about to be three. You're not a failure, you never were, you were just used to the unfortunate stigmas that breast milk is the ONLY thing they can have

[@rachelatwater7576]

My oldest son didn’t latch when I tried to breastfeed him, so I ended up pumping, after six months I stopped pumping and put him on formula so I could sleep at night.

[@missnaomi613]

@@rachelatwater7576 I probably should have done this with my second baby. I was too stubborn. He's okay now, but I still mentally kick myself when I think about it. Oh, and he's 22 (years) now.

[@rebeccaw8820]

I had 4 kids and produced enough milk for 2, the 3rd I dried up cause I got pregnant when my baby was 4 months old so she only got about 7-8 months milk before it hurt and I stopped. My 4th is breastfeeding now and I’m not producing enough milk. I thought it’s cause I’m 36 now. I also wonder if it’s cause I have coffee here and there cause I never had coffee with my other kids or until I was 35 in general. I have introduced food to him like yam, squash, banana, boiled apple or pear, and avocado. Even some egg and fish

[@rebbeccahoneycutt7941]

I also struggled to produce and felt guilty for ages after we started supplementing with formula. It's hard to feel like you aren't enough when you literally can't do any better than you are, and it isn't your fault.

[@IrelandFyre]

When I was 15 I had a really horrific experience that I was taken to the hospital for, an adult in my life told the doctor that I was... A promiscuous young lady even though I'd never had a consensual experience before and the doctor took offense to that and proceeded to be rough, mean, absolutely brutal during my first ever exam saying things like "suck it up. If you're adult enough to have s*x you're adult enough to handle this" and now I've been actively avoiding getting a pelvic exam for... Quite some time 😣

[@material-cheshirekhatter2413]

Yeah...I'm not getting one or a pap smear, The stories, the tools they use, and I can avoid it😬

[@CozyGamerGurl91]

That's the most horrific thing I've ever heard

[@Kait2478]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I pray you find healing from this traumatic experience and the other one that you implied. One thing to consider: finding a doctor who is gentle and kind, who you explain this situation to and who can help you manage your gynecological care in a respectful way...may be a way of taking back that experience that you had. Your health shouldn't have to suffer because of his (and the other adult's) unprofessional and judgmental behavior. You're worth more than that.

[@PinkRose0910]

I’m so sorry you experienced that! Also a doctors job isn’t to judge a patients morality or lifestyle choices and treat someone worse or harshly if they don’t agree with it. They are supposed to be professional with empathy and concern for the patients health and overall well being.

[@old_soul99]

I'm so so sorry you experienced that, but I can say if you explain that to an obgyn, and ask them to be gentle, they will. My pap was uncomfortable at worst, but my doc did everything she could to make it an easy experience.

[@lynnrolaf7422]

I never had children, but my twin did. She would call me on the phone while she was crumbled in a heap on the kitchen floor, crying her heart out. She'd say things like "they never told her about..." It was always something that made her cry, either in frustration or sorrow. It broke my heart. ❤️

[@tiffanychildwithin]

I'm a childbirth educator and I love the plate-sized wound comparison, BUT I do it under the context of why it's important to slow things down and take the appropriate time to recover postpartum, AND I mention the same things you do, that the wound is meant to be there and does shrink as the uterus does. I like the balloon demo too!

[@turtlepenguinXkizuna]

I honestly had no idea of this “wound” until today, and my daughter is 2 years old! I always thought people said to take it easy after giving birth because you’d be tired or need to save your energy or whatnot but I felt GREAT and was out taking mile-long walks with my dog a couple of weeks later… and then had to get extended iron supplementation for all the blood loss 🤪 so even though I guess it’s not “as bad” like Dr Jones says, I do still wish I’d known in advance rather than years later 😅

[@ArJayPtV]

i loved that demo! really gives a good perspective. so we all know people w uteruses aren't just walking around with a big hole in their body and that our body is naturally built to heal it!

[@jurgnobs1308]

@@turtlepenguinXkizuna education on these topics is generally far too little and too bad. sex ed, including about birthing, needs to be expanded in. it's something that a large part of the students will face later in their lifes, after all

[@SugarandSarcasm]

Just remember: if you’re going to be performing that in a regularly-occurring presentation, it may be a good idea to invest in a balloon pumo.

[@lapislazarus8899]

Seriously, as a woman who has never been pregnant to term... That balloon terrifying me. And I'm not a small gal! I'm 6'2" and weigh about 215ish. 😱😱😱😱🤭🤭🤭🤯🤯

[@sharithompson1672]

We adopted our first child so, naturally, formula was the only option. I can’t even tell you how many comments I got from total strangers about not breast feeding. Even people who knew we’d adopted would ask me whether I’d tried breast feeding!? WTH??

[@estherkeizer6080]

It is possible to breastfeed an adopted child, I've seen something about that. Don't know the full story anymore, but it was not easy and you have to be really, really patient. Do not let anyone judge you for not trying this.

[@material-cheshirekhatter2413]

How TF are you gonna breast feed if you didn't have a baby💀🤦🏽‍♀️ I stg some people are just idiots🙄

[@eliscanfield3913]

@@estherkeizer6080 I heard that it's pretty rare to actually succeed. Some obgyn blog from back when my elementary schoolers were babies.

[@Hiforest]

@@material-cheshirekhatter2413 it's embarrassing when someone calls other people stupid and they're wrong.

[@heatherhewitt3760]

@@Hiforest you can but it is very very hard. Usually need hormone to help. Its overall not usually worth it for the parents. Let people use formula, it is safe.

[@rockyember]

the use of the balloon to explain the dinner-plate-sized wound in the uterus was really helpful!

[@rosewater226]

Oh man, the amount of mom's I've had to console when they asked me if they could bring formula to daycare because breastfeeding wasn't working out in some way, shape, or form is staggering. They would break down, and I'm just like, who told you that was wrong? That you couldn't do that? Honey, as long as that baby is healthy, chunky, and giggles when I poke their tummy, that's all I'm worried about, and if that happens with formula, have at it. That's why it's there, to help feed a baby! Moms: don't feel bad about formula. It is made for babies. If breastfeeding isn't working out for whatever reason, or if you wanna mix it half and half, as long as that baby is healthy and has big ole cheeks that I can snuggle, be happy with your choice!

[@andifishgallery9400]

This comment is so sweet and tender, I really hope formula gets less and less stigmatized

[@dianasofia1669]

Ever since I was a little girl I was afraid of getting pregnant and every time I search for information to overcome my fear it’s like “yeah, I could die in a thousand different ways but then it’s beautiful” 🙄

[@sakumiraagashi]

I could feel you there. I'm still unsure about having kids, but pregnancy scares me, especially the delivery part. And people around me are usually like "have kids! It's a wonderful blessing. Your house will be filled with joy" like it's some kind of cure to life and the only path to happiness Sadly that's the type of mindset that society has made us believe, especially in the old days, at least from my perspective. A lot of older people in my family, including my parents, said that having a child of my own is something "everyone will have to do eventually". Pregnancy is always made out to be this "blessing" and "miracle" that is not at all dangerous, as well as something that's made for everyone. Of course, if anyone plans to have biological kids and their body can handle it, I don't think it should stop them from having a pregnancy. But really, people need to stop saying it's "always a beautiful thing" and everyone must have one. Educate people on it, but don't make it out to be this magical cure to life, that it's not hard and is always rewarding.

[@yoyosworld2773]

Both of you wonderful human beings are 100% correct. Haven’t seen one single reason to be pregnant or have children myself, and I get told the same exact things. If you want to, more power to you,but it’s not something that should be pushed on everyone. Have a wonderful day!

[@criator_cri]

I agree with everyone in this thread. No one in my family told me or pushed me into thinking that kids were your only purpose for existing but then id hear from ppl online or adults irl saying how life changing it is and its great and youre wasting your life and body by not producing babies and im sick of that garbage. I always felt like that was the case while never feeling like it was for me. Now im happy to be living a childless life.

[@dragonspirit996]

I also agree with everyone in this thread. For me, at least right now, I don't want to both because I don't have a partner (I'm still in college, got no time for that ;p) and because I have extremely bad self image already. I think that personally I wouldn't be able to mentally handle the changes a body goes through during pregnancy. Not to mention the pain!

[@debbystragier2154]

Funny enough I always found pregnancy and birth so fascinating as a child and even now I would not be scared to get pregnant. But sadly I would most likely never experience it myself.

[@VengefulAngeI]

I formula fed all my kids (4 boys), and I wasn't ever ashamed of that, but I hated when people would ask me & when I said formula only, they'd follow up with something like, "Was he not latching?" Or "Were you just worried what would happen to your boobs?" Or some other ridiculous, none of their damn business style of question. But worse is when they'd say things like, "but it's so much better for the baby!" Or "did you at least try before going to formula?" It was hard not to come back with a question of my own, like "Do you ever mind your own business or do you grill everyone on their personal medical & child raising decisions?"

[@baileydunton6142]

A Queen 👏🏻👏🏻

[@jahbern]

I breastfed four, but my second was just so hungry at 7 months that he needed formula. Fine. No biggie. Then my last two ONLY wanted the boob. And I’ll tell you what, I tried everything to get them to drink from a bottle. Nope. Never. Not once. My second two had every single meal from my personal boobs for the first 6 months of their lives and let me tell you - There comes a time when a breastfeeding mom happily reaches for the formula. But don’t worry about the rude people - empathy is hard. Especially for people with just one or two. They can be tempted to think they know everything about child rearing. The more kids you have, the more you realize how little you know. If I had just had two, I likely would have been a LOT less understanding than I am now. Or rather, it would have taken much more effort on my part to understand the struggles of moms who aren’t me.

[@dietotaku]

i breastfed both of mine, but honestly it was just as much laziness and cheapness than "bReAsT iS bEsT!" i spent a lot of my kids' infancy with them in my lap, one tit popped in their mouth, while i mindlessly scrolled the internet.

[@sophieirwin3497]

My mum breast fed me for a month or so. But I would only go for one breast as I’m blind in one eye so didn’t like my good eye being covered. So it was awkward for my mum when one breast was leaking more than the other. And I was a hungry baby so she weaned me into formula after a month

[@wiseoneedarra593]

I have formula fed all of mine and plan on doing so with this next baby. Whenever people ask I always immediately follow up with my justification of, "I tried for 2 weeks each with my first two and wasn't bonding and started to hate my baby." It kinda bothers me that I feel the need to do that every time, but it is what it is.

[@JennaGetsCreative]

Thank you for acknowledging that mother's mental health is absolutely a factor in the formula debate. My daughter had a hard time latching (despite no tie) and I ended up pumping. I wasn't getting enough that way so we were offering both. By 8 weeks she strongly preferred the formula and I felt like an underappreciated dairy cow who spent all her potential "sleep while the baby is sleeping" daytime nap times sanitizing the friggin' pump parts. Add on that only hubby (who works 10 hour days) was comfortable being in the same room while I pumped so I wasn't getting socialization, and I had a history of depression going into pregnancy, and I was circling that depression drain real fast. My husband, mother, and doctor all agreed I had given my daughter a great start and it was okay to stop pumping. The public health nurse continued to shame me for not trying harder right through to her 18-month vaccination appointment AND when I accompanied my best friend to a breastfeeding clinic because she wanted to get her son weighed 2 years later the same public health nurse pointed out that this group would have helped save my breastfeeding journey if I had only come (didn't have a car to get there.)

[@candicecart9786]

@jenna- I’m surprised the nurse didn’t discuss milk banks with you! I find many forget about this! Milk banks provide milk for those struggling with breast feeding! They are such a great resource and the milk is safe as it is tested!

[@tgrsparrow]

That public health nurse... What a Grinch. I hope you and your family are happy and healthy.

[@brittanymabry3339]

My son had a latching problem too with no tie. He just decided he didn’t want to but he took right to a bottle. I tried the breast feeding clinic but still didn’t help. So I would not worry.

[@mindyenglish5305]

My son preferred formula too, at less than three months. I felt lucky more than anything negative. I didn't have any doctors trying to shame me, though. Because they weren't stupid. I'm sorry you had to interact with that nurse. It's only important the first few days, for the colostrum. After that, formula is just as good. I had to supplement with formula because I didn't produce enough milk. He preferred the bottle because it's easier for them to get the milk out of it than a real nipple. If you don't have doctor's who know that, or bother to explain it to you, it can really make the mother feel inadequate. I think some nurses really get off that, though. If they can make you feel bad about yourself, it's some kind of power trip for them. The more knowledge you have, the better off you are. I had a nurse like that at the hospital, right after he was born. He had a little jaundice. I knew what that was and what caused it, so I didn't panic. When she mentioned it, and we weren't properly freaked out for her, she actually yelled at us, "your baby could die from this!" I had nieces and nephews who had the same issue, it's literally handled in a matter of minutes, calm down lady. I asked the doctor not to let her back into my room. The best thing you can do is get all the info you can while you're pregnant. I was surrounded by mother's at work, who constantly hurled advice at me and told me stories of their own experiences, while I was pregnant. Some women resent the constant advice. That's dumb. Listen to it and take what you need from it. One woman told me a story that saved my life a few months later. You're not supposed to sleep on your back because of a spot where if you put pressure on it, it stops the blood flow to your brain. She had leaned against a wall while standing up, hitting that spot. She blacked out and hit the ground. The EMT told her what happened and how to avoid it. One night, at about 8 months along, I was home alone when I rolled over onto my back for a minute because it was too uncomfortable to sleep on my side all the time. I was looking at the ceiling and everything started going black, and I had that warm and fuzzy sleepytime feeling. I remembered the story and I shot up off the bed, clearing my head. I'd have passed out and probably died there because my husband wasn't due home for hours. Information is important. Boring stories can save your life. Bad nurses can ruin your day.

[@sakurarobloxova5028]

I have a really similar story, only add in that I was a mormon and all the mormon moms in church were shaming me, telling me how I need to breastfeed my baby for 2 years no less or my baby will be stupid 😒 When I decided to ignore all of these bitches and switched to formula, me and my baby were so happy. Your mental health always comes first!

[@tinygreenpea]

Both my baby and myself absolutely despised breastfeeding. We tried so hard for months and months and people don't believe me that she didn't like it, but I swear she didn't. She's 4 now and is still extremely selective about what goes into her mouth, never used teether or pacifiers. I think she has a sensory thing. When we switched to a bottle, whether it contained pumped milk or formula, she was happy to have it.

[@michellethiesen7972]

Does she have any other sensory issues? That might be something to look into. I'm an autistic woman and autism is girls is very under studied and under diagnosed so I recommend keeping a close watch for other signs so you can best care for them as they grow up. Please don't be mad at me I'm just trying to be helpful.

[@FireTurkey]

​@michellethiesen7972 I want to add to this, despite what _some_ people might tell you, the younger autism is diagnosed the better. It allows you to plan for possible hurtles your child might run into and overall helps create a safer environment that'll hopefully decrease the need for your child to mask, though it won't at all stop the use of masking. That's a larger societal issue that you can help with but not entirely prevent by yourself. Btw we aren't saying your child _is_ autistic but it's always better to look into possible neurodivergencies instead of ignoring them.

[@alinac5512]

​@@michellethiesen7972had the same thought

[@lilyawoodburn]

I'm sorry but something about this comment made me laugh, it gives me the mental image of you and your then-infant scratching your heads at like a school project or something and bitching to each other about how hard and stupid the assignment is

[@lilyawoodburn]

​@@FireTurkey100% ditto everything you said here, if I'd known I was autistic when I was young, I wouldn't have developed a deep seated anxiety disorder from feeling inadequate as a person and like there was something wrong with me I didn't know how to fix

[@vancityplantie5752]

I’m a 45 year old cis woman and have learned more about my own body from this channel than I ever did from school or my own doctors. That’s both amazing and sad.

[@lecabnoirify]

...... woman

[@missnaomi613]

Same here, but I'm 51 and have given birth 3 times!

[@TheKrispyfort]

Same age, and at least our kids are getting better education

[@hannahleigh6152]

​@@lecabnoirify *Cis* woman

[@Rihardololz]

Ynbaw

[@ligianunez7879]

I never knew what happened when I was born but my mom described exactly what you said and that the doctors told her that there was like a 5% chance of both of us surviving. I always like to say that I’m out here defying the odds since day one because thanks to the doctors we are both alive and well. Also thank you for sharing your knowledge with the general public it’s so helpful to have this information as a Latina woman, where sometimes the medical system can overlook certain needs. 🙏🏽

[@rpggoddess84]

"...through the birth canal or through the sunroof" 🤣🤣🤣 Oh, DMJ, you caught me off guard and I spat coffee 🤦‍♀️🤣

[@beforeyoupush]

I can’t thank you enough for helping me make more awareness on AFE and explaining it so well. Birth trauma is not talked about enough. I truly appreciate you ❤️ this means the world to me ☺️

[@candicecart9786]

Women’s health isn’t talked about enough! (In terms of reproductive issues).... I remember health class when the teacher made periods sound like a breeze with very little blood! While here I am in this class with a literal prescription for PAIN MEDS (not Advil, aleve, etc, but literal meds you need a prescription for) bc the pain was so bad I would have periods where I would pass out or vomit from pain and have menorrhagia (heavy periods)- to the point I go through ultra super tampons sometimes in 20 minutes (really ive been told I should be going to the ER to get scraped- but I’m too afraid of that and male doctors who would probably roll their eyes if they don’t know about obgyn stuff).. I found out from a doctor that menorrhagia is actually quite common in women- but we never really talk about it 🤷🏼‍♀️ I remember one was really bad (they’re all really bad, but this was really bad for blood loss)- I calculated I lost about a liter of blood (you can calculate via tampons you use as the different sizes hold certain amounts- which is actually very scary)! I was traveling for work for a travel company and my male coworker looked at me after I had lost that blood in a couple of days (he hadn’t seen me in a couple of days bc we had separate tasks in that city and were going on to the next) and asked if I was ok- I just told him I was fine (I didn’t want to be labeled as problematic by this company as I just started working for them) and he was saying I looked super pale and seemed really low energy... I told him he didn’t want to know and he just kept pressing it saying I look like death basically (but in nicer words) so I told him I was on my period and lost about a liter of blood.... he was shocked and like “we need to go to the hospital!” I told him if it got worse I would consider but to get blood transfusions it takes a lot (they have to take blood and confirm, then find a match for blood type- which I have a rare type so hard to find, then hours of transfusion- I probably would’ve been fired TBH)

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

Thank you for your brave work in sharing what happened to you. Even though it must be so hard to revisit, the awareness you are raising is through information far too few pregnant people know. I had two excellent female ob/gyns (1 each time) throughout both my full-term pregnancies and deliveries, yet neither of them told me about AFE. Even with all the reading I did before both (especially the first) I cannot remember reading about this at all. I won't forget now, though - and if either of my AFAB kids decide they want to have children, I would hope to be there (as my mother was for me), and know that I am just that bit more informed about signs that may alert you of trouble (especially when it can happen so quickly). I hope you and your family are safe and well :-)

[@lauraluvsyou4958]

I am 7mnths pregnant with our 3rd baby, this is only the second time in my life I'm hearing about AFE. Never even knew it was a thing with my last 2 pregnancies. Saw a tiktok of someone else who had this happen when I was around 3mnths pregnant with this baby.. this scares the crap out of me.. now seeing it again. I am terrified to give birth this time. especially given your chances of experiencing this go up with multiple pregnancies. This baby already has SUA (single umbilical artery), something that is more common after multiple pregnancies. so i'm already considered high risk

[@camipeterson6683]

I'm a 43 yr old mother of 2 and I've never heard of this until today, ever. I thought your vid was going to turn into something jokey, but my god you literally almost died! Thank you for sharing your intimate video. We're so fortunate to live among the brilliant & brave people necessary to save ours and our babies lives! Bless you & your family ❤️

[@lfior]

Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️

[@Mid_copper23]

MINE PAP SMEAR WAS DONE JUST A WHILE AGO AND IT WAS THE MOST PAINFUL THING EVER. My nurse was soo Kind she went slowly and using words of encouragement like “ you are doing great” or “ it looks beautiful” “ you’re so brave, just keep taking breaths and let me know if it is too much we can stop and take breaks” she was amazing. She used a lot of lube, and was super supportive and nice and the experience was terribly painful but she made it a little more enjoyable.

[@karinadesousa7971]

The same thing happened to me, I’m a little traumatized because of the pain. I had cramps and bleeding for 2 days. I can’t imagine doing it again even though the dr was nice.

[@horselover40]

Mine judged me hard core for waiting as long as I did, explained absolutely nothing,and when she asked why I waited, I said I was nervous and she said that wasnt a reason...I think Ill find another doctor next time...

[@Lamapanty]

I'm so happy we have people like you, Dr.Mike, Ann Reardon, James welsh and Robert. Down to earth, sensible people, grown ups who seeks to educate. It's a sigh of relief.

[@jlt131]

i ❤ann. I'll have to check out the others you've listed. who is robert?

[@Lamapanty]

@@jlt131 Robert Welsh, are the twin brother of James Welsh :)

[@lisahenry20]

I've personally stopped watching Dr Mike after seeing how he handled a party during covid.

[@voopu]

​@@lisahenry20 Agreed, tho I stopped watching him a while before that, because his vibes are off. He always seems more like the Instagram-model, Golf-playing doc instead of a healthcare provider.

[@animeartist888]

@@lisahenry20 Came to the replies to add that specific thing. After I heard about that, I unsubbed and I've not gone back. He was all about warning people to take the disease seriously, but then he went to a party in the midst of lockdown?? I don't tolerate hypocrisy.

[@sallypumpkin8201]

Glad the lady with the amniotic fluid embolism is alive and well to tell her story. I can't imagine being in the hospital about to have baby no. 3 and dying with my partner left behind to deal with the 2 (presumably 3 if baby no. 3 survived) children to take care of.

[@justwhistlinpixie]

I am terrified of this happening to me.

[@karafog]

I feel judged for my failure to breastfeed constantly. Thank you so much for what you said about formula feeding. It means a lot.

[@saintshrooms9424]

I know it’s a while since you posted this but always remember that no matter if it’s formula or your own, your still making sure that baby will have an amazing like and that’s what’s worth most

[@karafog]

@@saintshrooms9424 thank you for saying that ❤️

[@ellakz8963]

“or motherhood, or fatherhood, or parenthood” she really being inclusive to people who identify differently

[@mossripalextechno6450]

Yes this made me happy.

[@-beee-]

Little comments like that have such a big impact. Grateful 💖

[@austinluther5825]

As a trans man who's given birth twice, just that little comment made me light up.

[@kellyanne7225]

🤦‍♀️

[@lepp6598]

I love that MDJ takes adult needs into consideration, not just doing what the baby needs.

[@AnaLampWoman]

My son and I came very close to dying during childbirth. I can only imagine her husband felt so scared, like my husband who thought he was going to lose his wife and baby. It’s crazy how many things can go wrong and how fast it can go wrong during childbirth. So glad she made it through to tell her story.

[@onceuponamelody]

Same thing happened with me and my son. Childbirth is so scary! Glad you were both ok in the end.

[@AnaLampWoman]

@@onceuponamelody totally! It can be so scary! I am so glad you made it through too!!! You are so right, It is so wonderful to have doctos like MDJ online educating and helping people:)

[@curlycurl8326]

I had my 3rd baby in October & my son’s dad always tells me he thought he’d have to choose who to save & that he didn’t know if we were gonna make it. I’m glad we made it out unscathed. I always pray for a safe delivery for mom & baby

[@solar0wind]

That's why I don't get why people choose pregnancy so often... Also, I think that men should be WAY more thankful to women for enduring that and taking these risks. Most men see it as something that women do, and might feel entitled that their wife does it, but people should rather see it as a big bonus when their partner decides to go through that stuff.

[@annakevlin8634]

@@solar0windI agree. No, one is entitled to be a biological parent. Never forget that being pregnant and going through childbirth is optional! Hell, 🤣 having sex with other people is optional too!

[@ellie1689]

"When the baby comes out through the birth canal or the sunroof..." it took me 8 seconds to think about what's the sunroof...lol!

[@sleepykittyMMD]

tbh i still don't get it, im gonna assume it means C-section?

[@maddiedoesntkno]

@@sleepykittyMMD nailed it

[@hayleyemma7953]

The whole breastmilk vs formula debate ( when extreme) annoys me too! For me, I was 7 weeks premi alongside my twin brother. Breastfeeding was never going to work. Formula, for us to survive, was the best option as Mum could clearly monitor how we were feeding and plus... t w i n s. For her sanity, bottle feeding was best for us. But I have heard how wonderful breast feeding can be for bonding. As Mama Dr Jones said, it's nuanced and what works best for you is best!

[@angelfirenze]

1ib, 14 oz., here! *waves* My sister was 1lb, 11 oz.

[@addyshorhnr3544]

They answer is most definitely both are amazing. My mom didn’t produce enough milk for me or my sister, apparently it ran in the family. But to make it worst she had to have surgery after my sister was born to remove some cyst and on of her ovaries not long after she had her then I had to be a c-section (I was a baby full of spite it was most definitely my fault). I would have quite literally starved to death if I wasn’t given formula. I wasn’t a sick baby, I don’t even have any allergies, had a non fully developed hip that still managed to clear on it’s own (also probably my fault, baby of spite) most I had asthma attacks from ten to eleven. Better then not being alive I would guess.

[@QueenMonny]

I was 3 weeks early. 5 pounds 3 birth weight. My lungs were a bit underdeveloped (I was struggling to breathe, but I can't remember if I was blue or not) and I think I was maybe jaundiced too. (They had me in a little sunbed thing with felt glasses). My mum had a retained placenta and nearly needed a blood transfusion. Anyway, long story short, I was formula/bottle fed from the get go. Maybe it has had health impacts (recently diagnosed T1 diabetes). But I was fed and grew. So I guess that's the main thing. I'm atill alive. I call that a success.

[@Bells_Lodge]

I remember when my sister in law was having her baby shower. First thing I did was Google "10 things you wish you got at the baby shower" and bought 3 of those things. A nursing pillow, nipple cream for chaffing, and some cooling/heating packs for sore nipples. I got a message after my nephew was a week old. The nipple cream and the pillow were a huge success. The second video you shared made me think of this.

[@pixelapocrypha]

That is genius. I'm 1000% doing that for my best friend's baby shower.

[@jazminjoyce4253]

I'm in NZ so as you know we normally see our GP rather than a gynecologist. Watching your videos empowered me to advocate for my health care. I switched doctor's practices because no one was trying to find me answers and could never see the same doctor twice. New doctor on my first visit took me seriously, got me in for a breast ultrasound in two days and has referred me to a surgeon, and acknowledged that my periods aren't in the normal range and has ordered a bunch of blood draws to look into it. Finally feel heard and not like I'm just trying to make something out of nothing.

[@fionatastic0.070]

I’m curious what advice you have for people who have found pap smears to be painful or people who struggle with intimate exams in general because they struggle with sexual trauma or just don’t like being touched? I fortunately did not have this issue myself but I’ve seen people talk about it a lot in comment sections when I was looking up what to expect on my first visit and it made me really nervous about going. Luckily it all went fine for me but I feel awful for people who have bad experiences. Thoughts? EDIT: I recommend reading the comments yourself for more detail, but here’s some tips from the comments in case people didn’t want to go through all of them: 1. Finding a good provider (one who goes through the procedure, is trauma informed, is good at distracting you during, etc.) 2. You could have an underlying condition that makes them painful (vaginismus, PCOS, endometriosis). Talk to your provider about those possibilities. 3. Anxiety meds can be useful to keep you from tensing up and can help you to relax afterwards. 4. Asking for a smaller speculum helps. I’ve also heard that you can be put under for these procedures it’s just really hard to get because it’s expensive and requires an anesthetist. Our healthcare system needs an overall overhaul, but wonder if there’s a way to petition clinics to make that option more accessible in the meantime?

[@keenywah6349]

I have this question too - I should be getting exams but I’ve only had one both due to childhood trauma and a doctor who was apparently too mystified by my gender to look at the chart and proceed accordingly

[@LaiQuen]

I had a wonderful nurse who gave me advice on how to lay / lift my butt to get the best angle on my annoyingly placed cervix

[@eliscanfield3913]

I just really don't like to be touched. Must be so much harder for people who've experienced SA

[@birdbrainz32]

I'm certainly no expert so I can really only speak to my own experience as a csa survivor. Personally, I found it really helpful to speak to a therapist before and after going to sexual health appointments. I've also been super picky about choosing providers, and I always make sure to let my doctor know about my history of sexual trauma and PTSD beforehand. Before I had my first pelvic exam, I had an appointment where we just talked about every step of what my doc was going to do, and she answered all of my questions and concerns about the exam. I also asked her for extra medication to help manage my anxiety, and she was able to prescribe a med that was super helpful. In short, I guess my advice would be to advocate for yourself and make your needs and boundaries very clear and come up with a plan for managing anxiety beforehand. If you need your mom or a friend to come with you, ask them to come. Listen to your mind and body and do what is best for you. If that means telling the doc to stop in the middle of the exam, do it. Intimate exams are never comfortable, and you're never going to be able to completely eliminate anxiety, but it is possible to make it a less overwhelming situation.

[@scouttyra]

+

[@leyawisheth5371]

"Sun roof" is just such a fabulous metaphor, which I have never heard someone use up until now, and I am cracking up. Thank you, from the deepest pits of my heart, for always being educational while still being able to be respectful and have a good laugh in the process. I appreciate you so very much, Dr. Jones. You are doing amazing work.

[@angelfirenze]

My sister and I were born through the sun roof at 27.5 weeks. Hi, from the result of a successful sun roof procedure!

[@rachelmcginnis5013]

Thanks for the diagram with the placenta, uterus, and balloon. I'm completely terrified of pregnancy. How invasive the uterus is to the parent and the wound left after delivery was horrifying to me. The diagram made me feel more understanding and calm about it. Your videos explaining fetal biology really helps me overcome and get more curious than fearful. Thank you!

[@morgan4574]

I remember googling "why do women die in childbirth" when I was a teen, because it didn't make sense that a torn birth canal could bleed enough to kill. So where did the blood loss come from? I learned that the placenta leaving that wound is similar to cutting off your hand, and if the uterus isnt able to crumple and stem the bleeding, that's commonly how women can die in childbirth. And the reason the uterus isn't able to crumple and stop the bleeding is because there is piece of the placenta left or stuck in the uterus, usually. Is that correct?

[@patriciabeard5521]

I did introduction to midwifery 40 years ago and we were told that the uterus is checked after delivery to ensure nothing is left behind because that's where the mom would haemorrhage from. Hopefully MDJ will shed more light on it

[@katherinewilliams9574]

Historically, most women died from puerperal fever (which we now believe to be a bacterial infection). It became more common during the “medicalisation” (where doctors took over from local midwives) as hand washing was very uncommon. Ignaz Simmelweiz showed through studies that hand washing dramatically cut infections and childbirth became less dangerous. There was a pushback but mostly as doctors were “gentlemen” and gentlemen did not have dirty hands. Antibiotics also helped reduce maternal deaths dramatically.

[@Hiforest]

I had a bit of the placenta left behind when my son was born and it was probably the most terrifying thing that ever happened during my labours (I had 4) - the speed of which I bled/clotted still haunts me, I'd have been dead in minutes if the midwives didn't know what they were doing.

[@mjm7031]

The uterus actually contracts in order to shrink down - it’s a muscle, and those contractions that deliver the baby and placenta continue on afterwards. Those contractions essentially put pressure on the blood vessels to close them off and slow/stop the bleeding. So a couple of things can happen: 1) If the uterus just crumpled (ie is floppy), there’s no pressure being put on those vessels and they just keep bleeding. This can happen for anyone, but can be more common if someone’s had lots of deliveries (ie 5 or more), because the uterus is just getting tired of it all. 2) A piece of the placenta can be left behind and this can basically obstruct the uterus from tightening properly, and provides a spot where bleeding can continue. Nurses, midwives, physicians, etc will be checking the person’s “fundus” (the top of the uterus) regularly after delivery to make sure it’s staying nice and firm. They’ll also be doing “pad checks” to see how much bleeding is being passed (sometimes blood can stay up in a floppy uterus and start clotting, which also prevents the uterus from contracting and the whole thing keeps cycling). They should also be teaching the person what it feels like, and to check it themselves - it should feel like a firm little ball or the top of your fist (ish). If it’s soft and squishy, rubbing it helps to remind the muscles to tighten up … if that doesn’t work sufficiently (or it keeps going soft repeatedly), then sometimes we give oxytocin or other medications in an IV to help the uterus do the job. And if the medications don’t do the trick, then the person may be taken to the OR to clean out the uterus (by doing a dilatation & curettage, aka D&C) to get rid of any clots or placenta bits that are obstructing things and let the uterus start over. It’s rare that that’s not sufficient, but if it’s not, then there are other treatment options (including putting in a balloon-type of device that puts pressure on the uterus from the inside, etc). In really rare circumstances, a hysterectomy might be performed. Most of the time bleeding can be managed quite effectively, though.

[@madhatterline]

Yes, about 300,000 women die each year in childbirth. The biggest causes of maternal death today are still infections (usually sepsis) after birth, & bleeding, usually caused by the uterus not contacting enough after delivery. In most cases these are preventable with adequate medical support. Other risks of death are obstructed labour, high blood pressure, heart disease, injury, & unsafe abortions. Young women/girls can be particularly vulnerable. Last year the WHO found that complications in pregnancy & childbirth, together with unsafe abortion, were the biggest killers globally of girls aged 15 to 19. Hypertension & obstructed labour are among the main causes, since their bodies are not fully developed & ready to give birth. Worldwide women need better access to adequate medical support during pregnancy, birth, & afterwards, particularly in poorer countries or more rural areas. In the USA (approx 800 deaths per year) the leading cause is cardiovascular disease, followed by infection & haemorrhage. Still lets not forget, the women who survive these conditions may be left with lasting consequences, such as amputations, chronic pain, fatigue, & post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) ect.

[@cmars83]

The conversation around formula feeding hit hard for me. I struggled a lot with breastfeeding when I had my son, but most of the struggles were mental, which at the time didn't feel like it was a "good enough" reason to move to only formula. I was struggling with PPD & PPA, I was having troubles bonding and I had what I can only describe as dysphoria whenever I tried to feed my baby. The lactation consultant I saw made me feel like I wasn't trying hard enough and tried to tell me about how important breastfeeding was in preventing cancer. I had so much shame. But the day I let go of breastfeeding and committed to only formula feeding, I felt like a different person. It made me a better mom in the long run without a doubt.

[@eliscanfield3913]

The single most arrogant person I ever met in a hospital/medical office was a lactation consultant. The couple others I saw were okay, but it was my kid's male ped who really helped me figure out the hows. I hated it, tho I stubbornly persevered for several months. Kid2 was eff PPD is so much fun, isn't it /sarcasm.

[@wiseoneedarra593]

I went through the same thing. Fortunately, I had enough family and doctor support to switch to formula after only 2 weeks. I was able to bond so much better after I stopped breastfeeding but it took me years to stop feeling like "if I had just tried harder, everyone struggles in the first month". Now I'm pregnant with my 4th and am not planning on breastfeeding at all and that has helped my mental health so much.

[@catatemyname7801]

I feel you so much. Trying to breastfeed really hit my physical and mental health hard. After months of trying I was constantly stressed and depressed because I was obsessing so much and blaming myself, my lactation consultant was pretty much useless and didn't give me a lot of vital information, and after three months it landed me in the hospital for a breast surgery as a result of mistakes I made. After that I mentioned to the nurse that I might be ready to just switch to formula, and she and the doctor made me feel like selfish trash (imagine having a woman just come out of surgery with an open wound on her breast expresssing her doubts about continuing to breastfeed, and you reduce her to a sobbing mess by being judgemental). I tried a couple more days until my boyfriend said that he couldn't watch me being so miserable anymore, and that our baby was surely sensing my stress so it might be best for her as well to stop torturing myself, and that finally convinced me. I am so lucky that literally everyone in my family and all of my friends were very supportive. And still it took me months more to accept the fact that my decision was not selfish, but necessary, and that my baby and myself are both better for it. I am so happy it worked out for you as well. New mothers have enough stress without some self-important know-it-alls to judge us based on stupid convictions. So f**k them.

[@VengefulAngeI]

The nerve of some people! As if you weren't going thru enough with being a new mom & having pushed a human out your body, now you have some stranger acting like you're "less than". They make formula for a reason, after all, & every pediatrician I've ever spoken to will tell you not to worry yourself over formula feeding your baby. I formula fed all my boys & I couldn't believe the looks & judgment I got from people whom I barely even knew

[@sierrachantell]

Good for you!!!!!!!

[@sandrab9245]

I had precancerous cells frozen off my cervix when I was 18. Totally glad I didn’t wait until the recommended age for my first pap. Decades later, still not a fan of them but well worth it.

[@wonky_shoebox7514]

I got mine burned off. The nurse asked if I thought I could handle the pain or did I want a local. I opted for local, but she used the tool on the wrong side. I've a very high pain threshold but that hurt so much I nearly screamed. I just let out a stream of profanity (not aimed at the nurse, she knew immediately she made a mistake) and took a few minutes to calm myself before getting the correct side done. But I'll never forget that. I've talked to women who weren't even offered pain meds beforehand and I don't know how they coped.

[@snuff-lh1zt]

I had what was called LEEP where mine was scraped off then burned. My obgyn said it was more effective in her opinion. I've had 3 kids no pain meds but the paps make me so uncomfortable I avoided it for years BUT THOUGHT I WAS GETTING THEM WHILE PREGNANT (here they said they don't while pregnant but they were already in there with stuff anyways soooo). I was given anesthesia (I get the terms mixed up but basically I got put out how they do during a colonoscopy, not completely but u have that twilight effect to where you think you are out). Sooooooooo thankful for that

[@a.schmidt3096]

I'm sure you get comments like this all the time, but as a woman who didn't have proper health class or sex education in school, and who wants to get pregnant and have children in the future, your channel is literally invaluable to me. Thank you so much, what you do here is so important and I hope you continue with the channel. I've learned so much, and it's so important to have reliable resources on the internet to come to with questions and to learn from.

[@hopeswansonsmith4645]

Watching this at 6 weeks postpartum and feeling some of these very deeply. My son was 9lb 11oz at birth (40w+2, induced because I was miserable) and at my appointment last week my ob basically shamed and blamed me for gaining too much weight. He’s lucky the antidepressants are working and I’m too tired to fight about anything. I gained the recommended average and maintained a mostly healthy diet. Big babies just run in both sides of the family. My kid was also 23” long. I won’t be returning to that doctor’s care. (And my level 3b tear is healing nicely. 😬)

[@material-cheshirekhatter2413]

Report him, Idk why men think they know everything about something they don't even have, Congratulations on your baby.

[@karbear26]

I’m sorry you had a 3rd degree tear I did too it was horrible! I hope it continues healing you will be able to sit again without pain!

[@carolmurphy7572]

Congratulations on the birth of your baby! My baby was also born at 42+ weeks. My labour was induced and, after 16 hours of contractions 2-3 minutes apart, my cervix still had dilated only 6 cm. The baby's heartrate dropped and he was delivered by emergency C-section. A 10 pound, 3 oz, 23-inches tall baby boy. The emergency OB/Gyn doctor asked in an accusatory tone how much weight had I gained in pregnancy! I replied honestly, 13 pounds. My baby was just big, as were my sisters' babies, and was perfectly healthy. Yes, I was obese when I conceived, but during my pregnancy, I ate well, didn't drink, smoke or take any drugs, and did my best to bring a healthy baby into the world. That's all we can ask of ourselves, and all anyone can ask of us.

[@carag2567]

Congratulations on your new baby! Maybe one day you will have the energy to revisit this if you want to but please be very proud of yourself for seeking help for your PPD. I'm glad you won't be returning to him and good luck in your search for a new provider. Give your baby a little kiss from NY! 😘

[@jpbaley2016]

@@carolmurphy7572 Though your baby was big, there used to be a time when women were praised for having bigger babies. Both my sister and I (out of 7) were about 9 lbs when we were born.

[@justlauratryingherbest8797]

I know you said that AFE is critically understudied but I was wondering if there were any ways to prevent this? Or any genetic risk factors that can contribute to this outcome? My mother died from AFE with me in the year 2000 (I am her only child but she was 42/43 when she gave birth to me; not sure if that had any impact) and it's been a concern of mine for pretty much my entire life. I don't think I wanna get pregnant anymore (or be a parent in general tbh) but I wanted to hear your thoughts as someone who is connected to someone who this happened to.

[@kellybroady6378]

So sorry for your loss 💔 very great question, I hope she answers!

[@fionnawheatley9095]

I’m really sorry you lost your mum.

[@charismahornum-fries691]

I was diagnosed at 23 and it was very normal to get screened back then. I have never heard of it being hereditary or predisposed for it the same as eg breast cancer. Condolences and a lot of co-human love your way.

[@sailuna9195]

I'm so sorry you lost you're Mom the day you where born, it also breaks my heart that there's no good research we can share or find on line so I hope Mama Dr. gives you an answer. P.s. I'm currently pregnant with my 3rd and didn't even know AFE existed.

[@ghostlycarot]

@@charismahornum-fries691 Diagnosed with what?

[@wheeliemum6253]

My twin 'babies' are now 23 with one a 5th-year med student. Yet when you were talking about breastfeeding I still teared up due to the guilt I felt for not being able to breastfeed. I tried and tried, one baby was being cup fed, the other tube-fed with me desperately trying to breastfeed in between. It was awful the NCT (UK antenatal organisation) breastfeeding women had gone on and on about how all babies could breastfeed it just sometimes took effort and the staff on the ward were the opposite. The midwives took to leaving the cots out of reach so I had to buzz them to pick them up and every time they came into my room they asked whether I had decided to bottle feed yet. It went on for a few days and in the end in the middle of the night I gave in to the pressure. Horrible and I hope neither midwives or NCT coaches are still like that but I don't know.

[@downingj8288]

The last one gave me a bit of anxiety. My sons mom had HIV and we had to get him out via C-section due to a myriad of issues. When they took him out, they found the placenta was 80% dead, there was a square knot in his umbilical cord, he was 6 weeks premature, and he was blue when they pulled him out. He’s fine now but whew hearing her story brought back all that stress again. Other than that thank you for sharing/reacting to the tic toks

[@heatherg3162]

OH LORD THE FART THING XD I've told this story before, but it's so damn funny... My first appointment with a new OBGYN I had nervous tummy and when she told me to relax for the speculum I farted LOUD. And of course that made me laugh and the convulsion YEETED the dang speculum out of my vagina! It was embarrassing at first, but also a great ice breaker.

[@sparklepants3838]

Will you PLEASE discuss PPCM or Peri/Post Partum Cardiomyopathy??? I was NEVER told this could happen. I went through it & survived (7+ years, 2 LVADs & a heart transplant) later. I know it’s a “heavy” subject, but NEEDS to be discussed & brought to patient’s attention. I’d love to do a discussion with you about it.

[@jamesmommy13]

Also a PPCM survivor (19+ years) who had never read or heard of it before it happened to me. I was lucky that I did not require the intervention you did, although I was intubated and had an emergency c-section. My EF was 17 and it was 5 years before it returned to normal.

[@xSwordLilyx]

I think it does make sense that having a baby puts stress on the heart, just most people can cope. My mom has Marfan's syndrome (I have yet to be diagnosed but I have also yet to be believed; I am healthy *and* I have enough symptoms for diagnosis but you can't tell a biased doctor anything of the sort) and a murmur since birth and she rarely has to get an echo except after each of her babies. No issues but it has to be monitored. There is a small chance of dissection simply from being pregnant with this disease. We have also had men in the family seemingly healthy and energetic to heart failure in between holidays, my uncle refused to believe my cousin was sick until he went in for a heart transplant. I miss my uncle but I never got to know my cousin, who was 27 when he died. I guess having a baby is just one of many possible stressors on a possibly weak heart.

[@ginnyjollykidd]

@@xSwordLilyx Remember that infant mortality was quite a thing, I think till about the early 20th century (IIUC), and that mothers often died in childbirth. It's not that far back in history. I think we are just now acknowledging these complications and talking about them. Childbirth is strenuous. Yes, there's plenty of stress the heart can experience! It can make you wonder how our species carries on!

[@jackson7421]

Haha. The sunroof. Had me dying. My wife and I always called it the escape hatch.

[@cbryce9243]

I sure wish I had heard these positive messages 40 yrs. ago! I hated breastfeeding, did it for 4 months and wanted to give my child up for adoption, not kidding. It was horrible, 4months of pure hell. Now we need a gyno doc like you for people over 60!

[@xX_Moonluster_Xx]

I'm saying this as positively as I can, because the education is excellent, but the more I see and learn about pregnancy, the more I feel the need to voluntarily sterilize myself. I already have a medical condition with that area of things and will have to talk to my doc about it but like!! I don't want to be pregnant!! Pregnancy sounds medically horrifying and my body being as fragile as I know it to be, does not sound like a good time! Thank you Mama Doctor Jones for your continued, awesome education on these topics.

[@alana.dyer.author]

I feel the same way

[@Felicat82]

That's perfectly valid. My best friend wanted the same due to mental illness, but the thing is, doctors won't even consider it if you are under a certain age, and even then if you're not married, they will discourage you "in case you change your ,mind later". The husband's opinion is considered more important than the wife's if a woman IS married, as if he had to carry the baby! Finally now her hormonal issues have gotten to the point where her docs are like, "Yeah, let's take it all out" in her 40s. Imagine how much better her quality of life could have been if they had done this when SHE wanted it.

[@GoogleKylie]

Yea I'm kinda in the same boat Id like kids some day but I don't want to be pregnant. It scares me because of my neurological issues and all of this stuff I keep learning. Did you see that balloon 😱☠️ I'm fine with going through the foster system when my husband and I are ready.😂

[@abigailtrumbo178]

@@GoogleKylie I’m currently pregnant with my third and the balloon made me wince! I’m going to see if I can get an arm implant after I deliver this little one, I feel so done haha.

[@aaasht2606]

Lets all take a bus there

[@amandafabres]

I have a one year old daughter and when I stopped breastfeeding her (she wasn't gaining weight properly, I couldn't sleep because of my full time job) and the best thing I did was switch to formula, even with everyone around me judging me and the guilt I felt myself, like I was failing. You're the first doctor I've heard that doesn't condemn it. Thank you!

[@fionafiona1146]

Sorry to hear about the pressure you were put under and the people further piling onto you.

[@annakevlin8634]

There should not be a debate each mother and child is different! Everything about each mother and child's birth and nursing experience together are not the same, regardless of how similar they may seem! The Mother's Physical and Mental Health Matter Beyond How They Influence The Baby's Physical And Mental Health And Development! My mother should of had more support from the people around her when my sister and I were young. Mothers' are people in their own right and should never be treated as less than people. Mothers' must have a life beyond their children no matter if they are pregnant, nursing, looking after toddlers, school aged kids, or teens! Fathers' are not done rasing kids after conception! Yes, I have met men who are fathers' that sincerely think "they have done enough!"

[@fionafiona1146]

@@annakevlin8634 In general suport is the only valid thing to extend. Mothers should have paied time off, group options and be welcomed but not crowded publicly. Locally any child is born with 3 years of workplace protection, one year of average pay (to be arranged in a manner guardians choose) and conditional basic income while the most bothersome part of public spaces is the challenge of moving strollers around. And still I believe there should be better accomodations (for people to have chicken and then continue cares)

[@fionafiona1146]

@@annakevlin8634 In general suport is the only valid thing to extend. Mothers should have paied time off, group options and be welcomed but not crowded publicly. Locally any child is born with 3 years of workplace protection, one year of average pay (to be arranged in a manner guardians choose) and conditional basic income while the most bothersome part of public spaces is the challenge of moving strollers around. And still I believe there should be better accomodations (for people to have chicken and then continue cares)

[@annakevlin8634]

@@fionafiona1146 Yes, you are right. Society needs to support mothers and children emotionally, physically, financially, and socially if it wants to continue. Paid leave should be done for every mother and child. In the USA mothers are fired, demoted/not considered for promotion ECT because of them being pregnant, nursing and so on.

[@Ozoito]

Almost fainted at the placenta pate wound, until you said it could come out of the sunroof. As someone who is terrified of having children and will most likely have to have the “c word” , when I heard you list the exist route as the sun roof: I legit screamed it to the heavens. 😂 I needed to hear that. Officially subscribed!

[@TildaM1994]

The breastmilk discussion is interesting because my mum told me she had to breast feed my older sister constantly as a baby because she was always hungry. The only way it got fixed was to feed her mashed foods way earlier than normal along with the breast milk. It scared my mum because my sister was basically starving on breast milk and formula, I and my mum were wondering if this is common with some babies? Also my sister is alive and well and can still put away food like nothing else while being skinny as a rake, wish i inherited that metbolism tbh lol Also that last video was so heartbreaking and scary, I'm glad the lovely woman managed to pull through. I'd never heard of AFE before but glad that it is rare though sad it's rarity has made it hard to study for early risk factors etc.

[@dietotaku]

"through the birth canal or through the sun roof" LMAO as soon as my kids come home from school today i'm telling them they came out through the sun roof, I LOVE THAT! hard agree on the importance of nuance. i feel like a lot of times there is so much stress on not scaring mothers away from breastfeeding that we minimize actual problems. like if breastfeeding still feels like having your nipples sawn off by a rusty breadknife at 6 weeks, you probably have a bad latch (possibly a tongue tie) or thrush. knowing that it's normal for it to hurt for the first week or 2, for maybe a minute at the beginning of each feed, but NOT by 6 weeks, was how i got my thrush diagnosed with my oldest. and we went on to have a very long and happy and pain-free breastfeeding experience.

[@BeerElf66]

My sister in law had to have an emergency C section, then chose one with their second. Sis- in-law always says she's glad hers came out of the sun roof. (usually when she looks at the size of my Nephew's head lol)) You're right about breast feeding, it does smart a bit for a start, until you both get the hang of it, but not after that. I just wish the pregnant/post partum person could just choose without the guilt!

[@ashvagle]

I laughed at the “or out through the sunroof” too! Never heard that before.

[@hoppytoad79]

I missed that part about birth canal vs. sun roof. So great! 😆I think the best you can do for people is to be honest and realistic about what's ahead, and also offer reassurance. They are not alone in going through this. They're in good company, so reach out to organizations and groups of similar people in a similar place. Offer advice and guidance from your own experience.

[@bridgetthewench]

Sun roof is hilarious! My mom calls her c-section kids "toaster babies", because we came out the top like a piece of toast.

[@mobooks4223]

My family has a bad history of going to the doctor, so growing up I never really went. Last year I was 22 and finally had health insurance so I decided to get my pap over with. I scheduled an appointment with a doctor whose name was well know in my area (due to her father being very well known not because she was highly recommended). It was the worst doctor visit ever. I was there because I wanted birth control. So my stepmom and I started with talking to her about my medical history and why I was there. She asked me if I had ever had “Bill Clinton sex”. I had no idea what that meant. My stepmom answered for me, no, and then explained it to me (oral sex apparently) and I agreed that no, I had not. She then went on to explain, very awkwardly, that when I had sex for the first time it would probably be awful and painful and how I would probably tear and bleed and just generally making it sound very horrifying. Then the exam began, I took off my clothes and put on the hospital robe. She did a breast exam and then had my lay down. When she inserted the device, it was pretty painful, almost like a burning/pinching sensation. I told her it felt like I was being pinched and she adjusted but it still felt the same, so she goes, “it’s not pinching,” and then pinched my leg and says, “that’s pinching.” So now she believes I have an infection (or something I can’t remember the term she used) and has to screen for it so I can’t complete the pap and would have to come back after they got the results to do the actual pap. Turns out nothing was wrong, I’ve never had any issues before and didn’t suspect that anything was wrong. My body just wasn’t used to having something forcefully shoved into my vagina. So she took a sample and removed the device and said, “just for “practice”.” And reinserted it into my vagina before taking it out and putting it in the sink. After that I decided to never go back and found a different doctor. When I went in to get an actual pap she said since I had never been sexually active and was still fairly young that she recommended waiting unless I really wanted to get one.

[@danceandmore88]

I'm so sorry. There are terrible doctors out there, speaking from experience. And the OB/GYN is actually a really important doctor, I once watched an interview with one and she said that the appointment shouldn't just be about the pap smear, it should also be about your general health and life circumstances. I still have to find THAT kind of OB/GYN! The last one I went to literally couldn't care less, she even made fun of me because I was nervous during the examination.

[@alikay9402]

Sorry you had that experience! Just a heads up you may have been experiencing vaginismus when you felt the horrible pinching/burning sensation (though honestly your body not wanting to deal with a foreign object may have just been it). I found out I had vaginismus from my first pap- my doc didn’t tell me that I didn’t need one even tho I also hadn’t been sexually active prior. kinda grateful he did it tho and gave me that term so I could get proper physio for it (tho it took me years to get up the courage to actually do it). Feeling wayyy better about my next pap appointment.

[@racehorse87]

Very enjoyable video. One comment on manual placenta removal. I had a retained placenta in my first pregnancy (after an induction at 37 weeks due to SGA) and I would honestly describe the process by which it was removed as very close to ripping it out, albeit a little more conscientious than that. The attending doctor actually just reached in and used her hand to work her way under the placenta and sweep it out, without painkillers. I was shocked and later learned that this is not normally done while you are fully conscious and not numbed in any way.

[@shannonmcdaniel291]

I’m so glad I discovered you! I just had my baby (second child, 1st one was giving up for adoption at birth) and I’ve been struggling with feeling like I’m not feeling as happy as I should. If that makes sense… I wanted a baby so bad, for YEARS. And when it finally happened, I’m just blah. Hearing this is normal, helps so much mentally.

[@anna_in_aotearoa3166]

Honestly, there is such a HUGE mass of social expectations, gendered prejudices, historical myths & just plain bad information around parenting, I have huge respect for anybody who intentionally gives it a go!! Tackling all of that plus the new responsibilities, physical changes & sleep deprivation just seems like such a huge thing... Being overwhelmed at times, happy at others, blah sometimes & occasional terrified seems like a completely sensible response! 😏

[@scouttyra]

I am currently reading my great-aunts diary notes from her times as a doctor in Mnene, Zimbabwe. It's very interesting, and deals with the dificulties of limited resources, butting heads with her husband (he was the head doctor, she was head of maternity), and work/life balance (they had three (iirc) kids, and a lot of their time was spent in the hospital). Iirc, they also dealt with an abdominal ectopic pregnancy where both mother and child were ok in the end. If you are interested, I'd of course have to check with her children (both if it's ok, and if they want me to leave anything out), but I could translate at least parts of it.

[@megapiglatin2574]

How awesome to have that kind of record! :D

[@dorabrooks76]

That would be absolutely incredible to read! I would love to have access if you do go through with translation and posting, please. Hopefully this comment will be enough to alert me if this does happen! 🤞🏼 She sounds like an amazing and indomitable woman!

[@NowCovering]

That sounds like it would make an amazing book! Please drop a link if it gets published, and keep us updated either way

[@nunpho]

Wow, what an amazing lady! If you do ever write it out and translate some them you should put it on twitter and tag mama Dr jones

[@KatinkaMaika]

What does 'Iirc' mean???

[@grassfolk]

This was really interesting. I have never considered “fed is best” put the focus on formula, more just on finding the feeding balance that works for BOTH mum and baby. Somehow pumping gets forgotten around “bottle feeding” too. Nuance is so important but missing from so much of society. AFE sounds terrifying- and not something I’d heard of. How does the amniotic fluid get into the mother’s blood stream?

[@oddi-trea6099]

Exactly. I thought that the ideas that she said she agreed with align with Fed is Best. I follow the organisation's Facebook page and they don't seem to align with either feeding choice, nor do they deny the biological advantages of breastmilk.

[@grimmb3686]

Yeah, I’ve only ever heard “Fed is Best” in relation to choosing the best choice (regardless of which it is) for the mother and baby

[@31michelle64]

My granddaughter wasn't latching, my daughter had same problem as me, nipples that were flattish in the beginning. The LC got her to try nipple shields, and that worked at first... then it didn't, and baby was one Dr appt away from being failure to thrive (I abhor that phrase) added a scoop of formula to pumped breast milk... baby started gaining... went off the added formula in about 2 weeks. Daughter then went to straight bottle, with breast milk in the bottle. Only later, at about 3+ months did they discover granddaughter was tongue tied. They haven't had it fixed yet, but it can have implications for speech later in life, so it will have to be addressed.

[@MamaDoctorJones]

Yes, the philosophy i stated aligns pretty much - i just dislike reducing important conversations to taglines. And it gets there via extravasation into the blood stream through uterine vessels.

[@katherinewilliams9574]

I found fed is best incredibly upsetting. I was really struggling breastfeeding. When you ask for help, people just say fed is best. They don’t help you. Just imply that you’re not feeding your child and that formula will fix everything. You keep saying somethings not right and the catch phrase gets parroted back at you. Sadly my daughter ended up being allergic to cows milk, which we discovered when she went into anaphylaxis after the “fed is best” midwife gave her formula.

[@loxxy917]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GETTING COVERED IN PEN AND DOING THE BALLOON THING! That was one of my biggest confusing concerns and it makes soooo much more sense now!! Xx

[@strugglingcollegestudent]

Not going to lie pregnancy scares me because my mom almost died after having my brother (he pulled really hard on her and she bled severely) and then I was born at 30 weeks and my mom described the next 7 weeks as “the worst of her life” (me being in NICU) I’m just not sure I could go through all that

[@Visitkarte]

Talk about your fears to your doctor. Luckily, we aren’t a carbon copy of our parents so you might be completely fine. I wish you all the best. ❤

[@ehdub13]

But the wound left from giving birth still needs healing, even if your body is built to deal with it - so certain people saying a mom should just "get back to it" immediately after giving birth is fulla crap

[@jelatinosa]

I didn't like her attitude about that. A lot of things that are normal and natural can still be painful, harmful and sometimes life shattering or even life ending. Our bodies are supposed to be able to deal with a lot of things and yet, a lot of people die as a result of those things, such as child birth. It's not "not a big deal" just because we are "built for it". Pregnancy and childbirth is literally harmful for our bodies and we need to heal from all the literal harm it's caused afterwards.

[@coffeeandplan4388]

@@jelatinosa this is a super negative attitude to have towards pregnancy and childbirth. There are many exceptions of course, but pregnancy and childbirth is not inherently harmful to every woman. And she never once implies that healing isn’t needed after birth. She’s just trying to prevent the unnecessary fear that women are walking around with giant gaping wounds inside for weeks after birth. Which as a currently pregnant FTM, I really appreciate.

[@jelatinosa]

@@coffeeandplan4388 that is contradictory though. Why would we need to heal from something if it didn't cause harm? Healing implies that there is a harm to heal from.

[@Ms19754]

@@coffeeandplan4388 Pregnancy increases the risk for many medical conditions. Usually such things are called harmful. Why would pregnancy be an exception?

[@yukalue]

Thank you for your comments on feeding. With my first baby I was making maybe 10 oz a day and after about 10 week i suddenly dried up. And then found out I had been unintentionally starving my baby. Yay postpartum guilt. And with my 2nd, still not making enough managed 4 1/2 month. Meanwhile my sister-in-law who had a baby a few weeks before me donated 6000 oz in the first 5 weeks to the NICU beyond feeding her baby, a friend who had a double mastectomy's baby, my aunt and uncle's adopted baby, and supplementing my baby. Each body is diffrent. And there should be no guilt for what you are feeding your child.

[@katrinanurse7668]

I had an AFE 10 years ago, I was surprised and moved to see it referenced here. Thanks for highlighting this horrible condition @mamadoctorjones & team.

[@rosemattle435]

After having my first child I scheduled an appointment for the following year. When the day came I started my period. When the nurse got down there and saw it had stated she promptly told me to get dressed and go home cause there's nothing they can do with an active period. I couldn't reschedule so, I didn't come back. By the time my next baby came I found a wonderful doctor and he has my undying loyalty.

[@solarcupid2583]

I can't imagine how the parents feel after that. Like imagine going to the hospital to give birth for the third time after a normal pregnancy, presumably given the lack of doctors, suddenly going into cardiac arrest, DYING and staying dead for several minutes, before coming back to see all the chaos around you and being told what happened. And then there's the husband too. Like he went with his wife thinking everything was normal and suddenly she goes into cardiac arrest and he's being told he might lose the baby too. For several minutes he thought he'd lost his wife and might lose the child she died to bring into the world. Even if he didn't lose the baby, he'd still have to explain to his daughters and deal with being the single parent of a newborn and two other children while also grieving his partner for years. What's even worse is that this situation was quite possibly the best outcome. They were lucky and both the mom and baby survived, but there's probably so many people who weren't that fortunate. It always upsets me thinking about the people who died during childbirth, and seeing a story like that makes me tear up thinking about what could have been. Every child deserves parents and no parent should lose their child.

[@Bex84]

About feeding: When I was pregnant I gained nearly 50 pounds in water weight and less than 4 days post partum, I had lost all of that weight and had NO excess water to make breast milk and I was shamed by 2 nurses in the hospital because I wasn't breastfeeding enough and then after I was home, by my cousin and a rando lady at the mall when my son was 3 months old.

[@macydiy9697]

You shouldn't have gotten shamed! They should have asked if you wanted to talk to an ibclc though!

[@candicecart9786]

That’s horrible! They should’ve discussed options including breast milk banks!

[@macydiy9697]

@@candicecart9786 yeah!

[@spookyara537]

That’s when I politely tell people to buzz off. No joke, I’ve done this before with my babies.

[@laurao3274]

I am curious... Why do people in the comments keep bringing up breastmilk banks, as if that's a free service that just anyone can use? The women who pump and donate the milk are not compensated, but on the consumer end, breastmilk can be very expensive, depending on the source. Thankfully, I was able to nurse my son, but if I hadn't been able to, we would have done WIC formula. To be clear, yes, NICU babies get milk from banks for free. (Or maybe insurance pays?) But a couple with a healthy baby either has to find a doctor who will write them a prescription for breastmilk, and hope their insurance will cover it, or pay a hefty amount out of pocket. And if there's a shortage, that milk is only going to NICU babies.

[@thenobleandmightybeaver4411]

My aunt died at the age of 25 from cancer which started on her cervix. She was diagnosed with inoperable, untreatable, metastasized cancer at age 23. Basically they did exploratory surgery to discover her entire mid-section, including liver, kidneys and bones were riddled with cancer. We must also acknowledge that a lot of girls are sexually abused as children and may have contracted STDs from their abusers as children, therefore putting them at risk for reproductive organ cancers and other medical problems well before the age of 25 or even 21. My aunt went to the doctor several times over a few years as she was passing large blood clots and having painful periods which were blown off until she started having other organ problems after the cancer had metastasized and nothing could be done to save her life.

[@Visitkarte]

I am so sorry to read this. Women are let down so often, we are basically expecting to be let down. I hope you got your HPV vaccine and are still getting your Pap smears.

[@thenobleandmightybeaver4411]

@@Visitkarte I am too old for the HPV vax, but yes, I have been getting regular paps since I was eighteen years old. It is my hope that women's medical treatment has improved significantly since my aunt's death forty years ago...however, as a former social worker I am all too aware of the prevalence of childhood sexual abuse, and how young some kids are when they start having sex categorically waiting until a woman is 25 to begin doing paps, regardless of how old she was when she first had sex concerns me. I do think those kids and young people most vulnerable to picking up an STD are the same kids and young people least likely to speak up, or suggest they might need a pap or STI test of their own volition.

[@critical-goat363]

I appreciate you adding in even the less funny TikToks and that you took the time to teach us something. A lot of people would have skipped over the harder ones to keep the video light hearted instead of possibly using it as a teaching moment.

[@angelaroberge8155]

When I was getting help breastfeeding, Dr Jack Newman told me that breastfeeding troubles released the same chemicals as a soldier in combat. This was weirdly helpful and explained A. LOT.

[@hazeld3703]

So is it a “crossed wire” releasing stress hormones that causes the feeding trouble?

[@angelaroberge8155]

@@hazeld3703 Good question! I took it the other way: Feeding trouble causes your body to react as if it is experiencing trauma. BUT, I suppose it's really a loop. Stress leads to trouble which leads to stress which leads to trouble....

[@BanniToki]

This is a really impactful perspective. My son couldn't digest my milk and I am still feeling ugly, painful feelings about "my failure as a mom." He'll be a happy, healthy, brilliant pre-teen soon and the memory of the day his Pediatric GI Specialist told me my milk could kill him is an open wound. Thank you for sharing this!!

[@heatherp5454]

Yes! I love your stance on feeding babies. I was unable to breastfeed as I never got milk, and I felt so much guilt about not being able to breastfeed. But honestly, breastfeesing isn't for everyone and doing what is best for mom and baby should be normalized!

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

My stance if you can breastfeed well breastfeed however if you cant then use formula or the situation won't let you breatsfeed then adapt by using formula

[@juliet5413]

This postpartum nurse is so proud of you for letting yo ur pride go and getting that baby fed. You’re still a real mama ❤️

[@candicecart9786]

Actually I’m disappointed she didn’t mention milk banks! They are a great resource for moms or families unable to breastfeed (either bc they don’t produce milk or adopted a baby or had a surrogate)! And the banks are safe (and IMO way better than formula)

[@tinkeramma]

@@candicecart9786 My experience with milk banks, even in larger cities, is that the demand for premature babies is so high it's almost impossible to get milk for a full term infant.

[@juliet5413]

@@tinkeramma exactly. It’s not accessible or realistic for everyone. Demand is high for opioid moms who can’t breastfeed as well

[@freegirl14]

I made a TikTok about separating my pelvis during my delivery that gained a lot of traction! People tagged you in it but it probably got lost haha. I didn’t even know it was something that could happen and my OBGYN was shocked as she had never seen it in her 20 years delivering babies.

[@sukuyanthefallen6419]

My second child, now he's 14, was my most difficult during post-partum. I tried very hard to breastfeed all 3 of my kids but was unable to continue within a couple months, with different reasons for each child. With my middle child, I got very little sleep for the first 3 to 4 months of his life. He was always crying, about 75%-80% of a 24-hour cycle. My best friend listened to my desperate calls to her for help. She never judged me for what I was feeling or thinking. I probably wouldn't have been able to cope without her help. I hated myself for what I was thinking when I would call her. I hate remembering those images in my head, those pesky intrusive thoughts. My friend is the only person I've ever told exactly what those thoughts were. I love her for her support during that time. She knew exactly how to help me calm down and focus so that I could try to help my son. It was the reason I would instinctively call her instead of anyone else. I don't know for sure but I think my son had problems digesting my breast milk. I believe my diet was causing him digestion issues, I was eating basically the same thing for lunch and dinner every day since my husband and I didn't have a lot of money. My son was, still is actually, VERY gassy. I would do the fart leg pushes all day long and get tons of gas to escape but he never seemed to stop needing to fart. My friend suggested I try formula feeding for a day to see how it would go. That was the first night since he was born that he, along with my husband and I, slept through the night.

[@poppyseed389]

I've always understood "fed is best" more like what you described - that it's such a nuanced thing and one single answer isnt suitable for everyone. Therefore feed your baby in whatever way makes most sense for your particular situation, mental health, ability, desires, and so many other factors.

[@larry-naylor]

Honestly one of the reasons I never wanted children is because the whole thought of pregnancy and childbirth is just horrific to me. The dinner plate thing really doesn't help regardless of unterine shrinkage. I have spent the last two decades on continuous contraception so pregnancy is something that I'm unlikely to have to worry about.

[@m.thompson3919]

No shame there. I used to feel that way, too, and people would say stupid stuff to me like, "Oh, you'll change your mind when you're older." or "Once you have the baby, it changes everything." 🙄 I know they mean well, but it still pisses me off. Not wanting to get pregnant is totally valid. Besides, if you decide to have kids someday, there are tons of kids who have already been born who need parents. 🤷🏽

[@candicecart9786]

@Lara also terrified here.. but also as a teen I got really sick and my blood filtering organs went crazy- I had to be in isolation for 3 months (for my own safety so I didn’t pick up viruses or germs) - the doctors told me I should never get preggo bc for the rest of my life my blood filtering organs will expand any time in stressed (if I’m really stressed I have been able to check myself and they do still get large like they said would happen)- and with the stress of pregnancy on top of the baby shoving your organs anywhere it can, when the baby came to be the size where you feel it kick, it could kick or punch into my organs and I would bleed out in about 30 seconds and we would both die! 😱

[@bridgetthewench]

@@m.thompson3919 I hate when people say things like that! Rather than change my mind as I got older, I've become more certain that I don't want kids, and am now completely incapable of doing so, as I had a medically necessary hysterectomy.

[@cairibour]

I had a baby 3 months ago, and part of my placenta definitely had to get ripped out lol. A love didn’t fully detach, and my OBGYN’s arm past her elbow was inside of me, while two nurses pushed down on either side from above, so she could get it out. So yeah it’s not common! But it happened to me and it was more traumatic than the actual birth.

[@Flo-px2oz]

Thank you for your comments on breast/formula feeding. I couldn’t breast feed my little one as I had hoped as she had severe jaundice when she was born. I couldn’t establish a milk supply (for pumping) as I had a traumatic birth at 37 weeks, and I wasn’t physically very well as I developed an infection. I tried so hard, and continued trying for 6 weeks (after the jaundice had abated). Eventually, I had to make the decision to stop for my mental health, as it was so low I wanted to ‘unalive’ myself. I wish everyone understood that it’s not just a simple matter of ‘breast is best’ or ‘fed is best’ because it’s such a difficult matter and thing to experience when you’re in that situation. My little one is almost 8 months and is happy and healthy, and that’s all that matters!

[@flamingghottea]

love that ur calling out both the good and the bad of "medical" tik tok 🥰 ur amazing momma doctor jones

[@hayerickson4361]

I was diagnosed with PPROM (leaking amniotic fluid) at 30 weeks pregnant. Hospitalized for 2 weeks delivered at 32 weeks. Cord prolapse occurred and I was put under general anesthesia because they needed to get baby out fast! The doctor said placenta abruption was most likely the cause for the prolapsed cord. Extremely traumatic birth after having an easy uncomplicated birth. Thankful for nurses and doctors who took care of me and baby.

[@lindsilightner7841]

I love that the green haired man was horrified about the placenta wound, but forgot about the large percentage of women who are carrying on with life hours after a major surgery, lol. I just layers of my body cut open, but thanks for worrying about my uterus!

[@bridgetthewench]

I needed help dressing and bathing after my hysterectomy, which I only have teeny tiny incisions for - 4 of them, all less than an inch long. I can only imagine how awful it feels trying to heal from an incision big enough to get a baby out of!

[@Gymtoshi]

For my gyno appointments I usually warn about anything like if I’m on my cycle. I also love my doctor, I was r as a child and she’s so accommodating of that. Every time I need a checkup she asks for my consent consistently throughout the whole thing and reminds me I can ask her to stop at any time. She’s awesome

[@Maerahn]

OH GOD YESSS, to that 6-week check-up thing! I honestly think some of the older midwives and health visitors (the ones who've been" doing the job for twenty years now, I'll have you know") need some re-training at least every five years, so that they're NOT still spouting their 'wisdom' from two decades ago thinking it's still gospel. I had a health visitor who I did NOT get along with; we rubbed each other up the wrong way every time she came round to check up on me and my son - she hated me because she didn't like me questioning her 'wisdom' and having opinions of my own, I hated her because she insisted on talking to me like I was a naive teenager when I was actually thirty-five years old. I remember her grilling me about breastfeeding when my son was about six months old; I'd been doing it since he was born, in spite of it not being easy, because I'd pretty much been bullied into first doing it and then continuing to do it by her and the midwives that came before her. Anyway, she demanded to know how that was going, and I explained to her that I didn't seem to be making as much milk as I used to, especially now he was starting to eat solid foods. She gave me this withering, patronising look and said "Have you tried breastfeeding him more often than you usually do?" At which point I finally lost my cool completely and hollered at her "HOW DO YOU THINK I FIGURED OUT I WAS MAKING LESS MILK THAN I USED TO??" Karma is great though. At the very same visit, she had to measure the length of my son on her chart, so she took off his nappy and laid him down on her chart. And then, just as she was leaning over him, my adorable son unleashed a fountainous wee all over her! 😈

[@TheShinofangirl]

I would love to see Mama Dr. Jones react to Illymations period video. I think she would get a kick out of the creative way Illy presents the emotions she has gone through, the symptoms she's experienced and all the treatments she has gotten.

[@gravityfalling]

"motherhood, or fatherhood, or parenthood, or whatever" i love this woman

[@erinw6445]

I had a friend who died of an AFE within minutes of delivering her son. Thank you for talking about this. It's so devastating.

[@ErinOlson-SarcasticJellybean]

I continue to watch all of MDJ's videos about pregnancy, knowing full well that I never want to be pregnant, nor have kids in any way, but I'm still thoroughly entertained. Not to mention, more knowledgeable about these sorts of topics than I've ever been (thanks public school sex ed for not teaching me basically any of this -_-)! So I just want to say a quick thank you to MDJ for being on here and educating, explaining, and entertaining us all!

[@helenanilsson5666]

Same. I'm at an age where a lot of my friends are producing children so I like to be at least a little knowledgeable about how things are for them even if it isn't anything that applies to my life. Besides, I do still have a uterus in there, like an oversized bleeding appendix, so I might as well keep track of what's normal uterus behavior.

[@signespencer6887]

Breast vs bottle: i breastfed my first for 2.5 years. She was then an only child. Second child I weaned at 8 months because I was pregnant again and not fully recovered from post partum hemorrhage. (Turned out to be ectopic pregnancy). Third child got lots of bottles because the first was in the hospital for major surgery and I needed to be with her. Then my now-ex husband left for a 8 week overseas business trip. Third child refused to nurse (nipple confusion?) I thought “ I could chivvy this child into nursing again- but my oldest needs help with homework, and my middle child is still in diapers and I am on my own for the next month

[@expectopatronum6241]

Hello, I wish you all the best to deal with everything and I am glad to have you in our world !

[@chaospenship]

I know I'm months late to the party, but I was just really grateful for what you said about formula versus breastfeeding. I was hospitalized with severe covid symptoms four days after having a c-section, and I've been having to talk it over with my therapist that that is a lot to recover from, and it's okay that my body wasn't up for it. I like the other comments too, that there's myriad different reasons formula is a better choice given your circumstances. Makes me feel better, and reassures me that I'm not a failure. So thanks, if you see this!

[@lexiwexiwoo]

I had a family history of female reproductive cancers in my family so I begged the nurse at the health department to give me a PAP at 18. Thank God she caved in and did it because we found cancer cells. I had a LEEP done, still came back with cancer cells, so they did end up taking about 1/3 of my cervix by the time I was 19. It was extremely painful but I can't imagine what it would've been if I hadn't needed to get it done before I was 21-25.

[@mdbtptblw]

I've seen the first video multiple times, but I still crack up every time I watch it!😂 It's spot on. Don't fart, hide the panties, I feel a draft, etc.

[@jessicaraelene5276]

I have a friend who could not bond with her baby while breastfeeding no matter how hard she tried and at first she was hesitant about only bottle feeding and I told her that if she doesn't feel like she can fully bond with her baby breastfeeding then switching to the bottle maybe the best choice and it worked she actually did a lot better switching the baby to formula. There has been a lot about formula being recalled lately and I know a lot of people have been talking about that so that is a worry I think some people have so addressing that might be cool

[@candicecart9786]

She can still pump and bottle feed 🤷🏼‍♀️ Breast milk is always better (formula is generally ok, minus if it has been tainted by bacteria or the cartels miss one of the containers they filled with coke- which has happened, but the milk is better)... also there are milk banks in most cities- they’re a great resource for women who can’t produce milk

[@agriff4440]

Candice Cart a) pumped breast milk isn’t better if it’s impacting the parents mental health negatively b) a lot of people don’t have access to milk banks c) formula is safer than random donations from someone you don’t know through informal donation. Breastmilk is great and if everything aligns or the person has access to safe donation then that is wonderful. There are however MANY situations in which it is not better overall for a baby. Also I don’t know where you live but cartels smuggling cocaine in your formula and then forgetting about it 🙄. That’s some big money to just forget about. Way to throw out random bs scare tactics

[@jazminspry2940]

As a breastfeeding peer supporter I stand by ‘informed and supported is best’. As long as a mother is fully informed on all methods and is fully supported in what she decides, that’s all that matters.

[@leylagutierrez5834]

My cousin had Placenta Increta with her first baby. Her doctor reached into her soul and took it out in chunks. She said that was more painful than labor and pushing baby out. The worst part was that the doctor didn't explain anything to her at the time.

[@corinthiap6044]

I’m so glad you talked about the dinner plate thing. I’m just a mom of 6, with a mild obsession with pregnancy, and this is all I could think about. The uterus contracts down pretty quickly. Glad my thoughts on it were accurate.

[@beckyfrichek8190]

Could you maybe do a video about breastfeeding? I know it’s slightly out of your specific wheelhouse, but I find there’s a lot of misinformation and mom-shaming around the topic. I wasn’t able to produce enough milk to feed my baby, and so I had to supplement with formula. I did everything to increase my supply, with no luck. And since then, I see “helpful” moms all the time give unsolicited and incorrect advice to other moms in that situation. It’s insulting and harmful-I was so brainwashed to think that everyone can breastfeed that I went a lot longer than my gut told me to to check with my doctor and find out that my baby wasn’t getting enough to eat. It’s sooooo important to provide lots of support to women who want to breastfeed, but misinformation, pressure, and shame are not the way to do it.

[@rainrains2509]

This is true ,at at around 4 months pp I started formula feeding my twins ,turns out neither of them were getting enough to eat and my body was just not producing enough milk ,had a healthy diet ,took herbal supplements to increase milk supply as it was prescribed by my doctor , absolutely nothing worked ,stayed hydrated ,and literally could only pump out about "60mls of milk a DAY 🙈turns out it happens to most mom's and I just was one of them . Aslong as every child is fed whether it be breast milk or formula you're doing a great job

[@apostatelizzy6836]

@@rainrains2509 same thing happened to me with my son. I switched to formula at 4 months because I wasn’t producing enough milk. My son had dropped down to the 5th percentile for weight. It was definitely the right call because he gained weight quickly after that and was back at a healthy weight.

[@rainrains2509]

@@apostatelizzy6836 I'm glad you did what was best for your son ,my twins were born 3 weeks earlier and we're quite small to begin with ,both under 2.5. Kgs ,so you can imagine how stressful it was not producing enough milk to feed them , thankfully there are Doctors out there who knows how hard being a woman is and just how complicated a women's body can be

[@candicecart9786]

I’m disappointed she didn’t mention milk banks- they are a great resource for many moms who are having problems producing milk (or for adoptive families)

[@MelissaDiVarano]

Thank you for talking about the whole "fed is best" and "breast is best" thing. I also do not like when people say either of those. I personally breastfeed, but would never say "breast is best" to anyone. I know in terms of nutrition breastmilk is healthier, and for me it was the best choice I made. But I know this is not the case for everyone. Everyone has their own choice on how they want to feed. The reason I don't like "fed is best" is because although it's true that feeding your baby any way is better than not feeding them, a lot of people who say fed is best tend to be a little rude towards those who do breastfeed. I'm of course talking from experience, not everyone acts that way. But I have been treated as if I'm disrespecting formula feeding parents just for the fact that I breastfeed. I'm not judging anyone for formula feeding, so I don't want to be shamed for my way of feeding either. Parents can feed their babies however they choose. That being said, I believe there needs to be more breastfeeding support for mothers who really want to continue breastfeeding. I have known of many mothers who were told just to switch to formula even though they didn't want to. I believe all mom's should get the opportunity to try breastfeeding (even just once) to see how it is, unless you really don't want to. With my first baby, I did struggled with breastfeeding in the first couple weeks since he wouldn't latch. I believe this is a common issue, so I wish more moms were encouraged to keep trying (unless it's affecting their mental health too much). The best advice I got in those first weeks was to just keep trying, and eventually my baby latched, and feeding was amazing after that. Another reason I have heard for switching to formula is that the mom was not producing enough milk. This may be the case for some moms, but for some their milk just hasn't come in yet. I was not told that you won't have a lot of milk at the beginning, and that it takes a few days for it to come in. So early on, I was stressed and thought I wasn't producing enough milk. I had some moms tell me that they switched to formula after a couple days for the same reason, so this is something that definitely needs to be told to moms who want to breastfeed. Luckily with my experience breastfeeding, although I had stress, I still was bonding with my son, and he was gaining enough weight, so I continued and I'm glad I did. My daughter latched right away, so I was glad I had the experience I did with my son because it showed me both sides of breastfeeding. And I'm glad I was able to breastfeed both of them. It was a big bonding experience with both my kids. The main point I'm trying to make is that all moms need support. The stress I experienced was mostly due to a lack of support. I had other people constantly asking if I had enough milk (since I didn't at the beginning), so the way I dealt with my stress was removing myself from the situation. My husband and my doctor were both very supportive and encouraged me to continue since I wanted to. Other people may have worse mental health, so the best thing for them may be to switch to formula, and that is okay to. Don't let anyone tell you how you are feeding is wrong. If you want to formula feed, don't worry what others may say. Same goes for breastfeeding! If it's what you want to do, and your overall mental health is good, and your baby is doing well, don't let people convince you to switch if you don't want to. Do what is best for your situation.

[@reneevandevander8165]

I'm so grateful that I learned about the placenta "wound" here. If I had seen the other video first, with no explanation I would have been freaking out.