Habits Of Irresistible Conversationalists | Michael Bungay Stanier

Michael Bungay Stanier helps people be a force for change. He’s best known for his book The Coaching Habit which has sold close to a million copies and has thousands of 5-star reviews online. His latest book, How to Work with (Almost) Anyone, shows how to build the Best Possible Relationship with the key people at work. He founded Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that helps organizations move from advice-driven to curiosity-led. They’ve trained hundreds of thousands of managers to be more coach-like and their clients range from Microsoft to Gucci.
In this episode you will learn,
The 4 keys to becoming a better conversationalist
Powerful questions that will foster more meaningful conversations in your personal life
How to build rapport and invite successful networking into your professional life
The 3 personality traits all of the best collaborators and networkers have
Why some personalities feel magnetic and why we’re attracted to them
For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1477
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[@agathakirk6380]

When parents encourage children to communicate at an early age, this helps as they grow.

[@lenas5613]

The listening part is SO important...😊 children should be seen and HEARD!!!

[@sarinagold1869]

For real!! It’s a gift for them and yourself! Teach them;) it’s a much happier life

[@eldon6869]

you are right i had to move 1500 miles away from where i was raised been married 51 years took my wife andchild to a place where i could cultive and them in a way i knew how it has worked for me as they are all great and successfull in the life to a great degree from cultivation thanks for your comment .always be humble and kind

[@Mushroom321-]

Yes!!!, 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 when the goal toward the person is being heard !! 😼❤️

[@SpaceWiWater]

100% one of the greatest podcast to ever exist, much undeniably significantly valuable information, techniques, and lessons.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@killa46464]

Oh gosh . I can’t watch all of this now .. sleep time . But it’s uncanny that this subject popped up to listen to , and I’m keen to watch the entire discussion . Because only today , whilst laying on a bench in a sauna , I was reflecting on life and when I actually was in a place which was hot like the sauna? And I recalled when I working on a fishing trawler in the gulf of Carpentaria , 40 yrs ago , with an all men crew , except myself , and just how difficult that was . I contemplated the importance & value of good communication skills , which I largely lacked at the time , and how life may have been quite different ; better , had i known how to relate to others more successfully . I then thought of my young niece and nephew , 5 & 2,yrs old , who I love dearly . I asked myself , what would be the greatest skill that I would wish for them to develop , for their own happiness in life ? And the answer was ; an ability to relate to others , to communicate well , with empathy and connection to others . To feel confident and aware in the arena of conversation . I think this is an important quality and trait to nurture for a persons well being . Thank you in advance ~ I will continue to watch this tomorrow . Good night 😴

[@lisaquick1196]

Love this! So empowering! Thank you, Michael and Lewis!

[@tomazstritar7361]

MBS is a legend!👑 Thank you again!🙏

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@franciscoruedamiramon1866]

Thanks Lewis for so much wisdom and Knowledge! Greetings from Cuernavaca México 🇲🇽

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

hola! ❤

[@franciscoruedamiramon1866]

hola mucho poder interior @@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

[@juswolf22]

This reminds in the kung fu flick where the pupil would come to the sensei for answers but the sensei wouldn’t be quick to answer them, the sensei would set up routines for them to find answers themselves.

[@maryg4344]

What a great interview! I got so much out of this conversation❤ Thank you.

[@michaelascheffler4229]

Thank u so much for this interview 💚😊

[@franciscoruedamiramon1866]

You inspire so much people! I Am writimg a book and your interviews have help me so much.🙏🏻

[@AZERINBD]

This was a beautiful conversation. Thank you both!

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@melissalabrecque5163]

This is one of the best!!!! Humanity needed this. I work with the body and helping people to release their pain and most of truly comes down to communication. I found myself wishing the segment was longer.

[@karissajones2294]

Such a valuable conversation. Thank you both.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@terril5469]

The most useful was pause and listen instead of jumping to advice. Secondly the three questions in morning and two at night. Lastly well done on your interview style. When you ask why and how of the person you are interviewing, we get to go deeper! This is lost in our world today during interviews and conversation in general. Thank you!

[@kandiblick3822]

💖💖💖 What a WONDERFUL podcast!! Thank you!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@phonixdelsol4440]

Man you rock. We love it in Sustainable Earth Berlin.

[@spiritedamanda23]

I love the 5 Journaling questions 🎉❤

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@ignorantlyspeaking]

This is especially interesting because leading authorities in different fields often do not know how to answer some of my questions, and they end up giving me irrelevant advice. This opened my eyes to the reality of baselines, and how most people or demographics have similar baselines from which they process all information, though, there are still many people who just have a different baseline for whatever reason. This is a major reason why many products have the majority of the market but not quite all of it, in any field.

[@phyllisclark4450]

Enjoyed the conversation. Thank you

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@stacybooth9704]

Phenomenal episode! Thank you!

[@lewishowes]

Thank you!

[@idaliahernandez1083]

This has been one of the best videos I have ever heard with so much valuable insightful information. Thank you Lewis for putting yourself out and asking excellent questions.

[@lewishowes]

Means a lot!!! Glad this was helpful for you🧡

[@kekukunairvine6627]

Simply awesome!!!

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for watching!

[@sherylmuir8665]

He dropped some amazing techniques that I can certainly use in the art of public speaking,

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@scotthayes7777]

Loved this interview.

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for watching🧡

[@rocketcannabis8346]

He is an authentical couch, in the interview i can see how he takes the lesdership and made Lewis talks freely, like he was the interviewed. It was fascinating

[@sazupupu]

Couch? Sofa? 😂 haha just kidding, I know you meant coach.

[@maggiemalone5957]

I absolutely loved this interview with Michael! And, although it's obvious to me that you know all this already because you're the best interviewer ever, this will help me a lot personally! ❤

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@maggiemalone5957]

@@lewishowes ♥

[@margaretf6147]

Love this! Would be great to have a link directly to this from the KZbin short. (Took me way to long to track this down😂)

[@craigosterberg5045]

Thanks

[@ElderTimes]

Another ringer! Thank you, Lewis! I got this gem from an earlier SOG podcast/guest…. ‘Children are NOT socialized. Rather, they are domesticated’. Not always, but far more often than not. Too, much of the time, sadly, it’s not due to a lack of love or care…. or even effort, which simply reinforces the value and benefit, or NEED if you like, for all of the incredibly valuable and worthwhile insights & wisdom you and your guests so freely share and distribute. Thank you!

[@lewishowes]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@SJ-zd9el]

THIS was an awesome conversation. I love the questions posed and the assignment to reach out to another with a question for the day.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@juanjaquez3752]

Excellent, extraordinary. One of the best conversation. Thanks

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@franciscoruedamiramon1866]

Happy monday.

[@lenas5613]

😊To you as well!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Only seeing this today.... happy Tuesday! ❤

[@mariakee816]

I first heard the important questions to ask an audience about how much they were willing to participate,risk etc in a session more than 20 years ago at a peace and reconciliation conference in Northern Ireland facilities by a grey beard of community engagement in the States. A wonderful humble man now aged 83 who has been writing books on this subject for many years before Michel Bungay. Whilst many writers make a general acknowledgement that they stand on the shoulders of others I was extremely disappointed that the source of these very powerful questions were not sourced. If my information is inaccurate I am happy to stand corrected but they made such an impact on me I read the papers and some of Peter's books. Maybe you should invite him on the show ??

[@lisap9936]

My reaction on plunging in to a third of this video is ‘ OK, you ask what’s on their mind, but do you really care? or is it strategic!’

[@dannyhatzimalis8749]

Such an amazing video as always. Keep it up brother. You should have Luke belmar on

[@lewishowes]

Thank you!

[@sarambithi8564]

This is amazing 🎉

[@lewishowes]

Thanks!

[@HdyaSalimi]

This is so refreshing! Thanks a lot! I will apply the advice most definitely to strengthen my relationship. Route to healthy relationship 😌

[@lewishowes]

💯

[@franciscoruedamiramon1866]

You guys spark ilumination .

[@amysinger2201]

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@eldon6869]

hello i am here for the human being .if possible/ always be humble and kind

[@rRedbBull]

Time codes anyone?

[@jonvladimirtsev3002]

In the perception I've embraced ... fight and flight can be thought of as 2 approaches to "fix" and freeze is the third possible response. But the 3 choices are fight, flight, and freeze. Comes from the natural, innate world.

[@user-jn6jm4bb6f]

You are indeed right in the three reactions you mentioned, but these can come in two ways: first action and then thought (animal nature), first thought and then action (human nature). In other words, animal instinct means that we always choose the action that will be easiest for us to perform and INSTANT profit in the immediate future, without fully understanding the final result of each action. In human nature, on the other hand, it means that we will always choose an action after thinking and weighing all the possibilities (visible before us) and all the results (that we know) that can happen as a result of each action for a PERMANENT profit, even if it is in the distant future. That's why we control animals but lead humans.

[@tjbroussard3524]

Can someone help me close the gap. Great interview but what were the other two questions before marriage after 1) what do we do to repair? Felt like "top questions" kept derailing.

[@SugarBunnyBlvd]

Agree. That’s what I came looking for!

[@brianellington4004]

6:48 Michael sort of promises 5 questions (Within the "dinner" whose attendance to which could easily be described as depending on the Dungeon Master's roll of the dice) and when he finally asks the 5th question he doesn't define it as the 5th question - Lewis, to his credit, doesn't outwardly react to this, simply letting Michael go on... the title of this cast is so appropriate and I wonder where it's going and it's so hard to hook me!!!

[@simpleton7008]

The I thow vs I it concept went completely over Lewis’s head.

[@brendonking5489]

I've noticed that Lewis interrupts a lot less these days.

[@alid3424]

Lewis! I cannot believe you asked him how he fooled his wife into a relationship 🥴. You probably thought of it as playful banter but that's never funny, man. Anyway, and otherwise, great interview... such a smart, funny, open & generous guest!

[@copyninja8756]

It was fine

[@christianhansen3292]

not a handsome guy but incredibly smart & wise

[@getmesomefries]

I like the way he looks. He looks just fine.

[@godpoet1]

In the eye of the beholder!

[@vitalishus]

@christianhansen3292 Incredibly judgemental comment! Wow, do people have to be good looking before you take them seriously, or accept them for who they are? Do you generally only think people are intelligent or wise if they are also handsome or beautiful? You sound surprised that this guy is intelligent “despite” his “looks”. Just WOW you’re unbelievable.