Hankey Posts Trump’s Bond | Truth Social Stock Woes | Lara Trump vs. Beyoncé | Cicadas Are Coming!

A subprime auto loan magnate helped Donald Trump post a $175M bond in New York, Truth Social’s stock price tanked in its first week of trading, RNC co-chair Lara Trump dropped a country song the same day Beyoncé released “Cowboy Carter,” and Stephen does the math on an upcoming plague of trillions of cicadas.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertKZbin
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com/Awagtx95?sid=yt
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on X: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

[@Darbobski]

It is sooooooooo past Trump's Jailtime.

[@marshamariner7897]

Wrong show.. but Stephens great😅😅😂😂😘👌✌️✌️😵‍💫

[@Darbobski]

@@marshamariner7897 We are all part of the same family if we are against Trump.

[@marshamariner7897]

@@Darbobski true...I'd 😍 2 c all rhe guys on one show...that b great 😍😍✌️✌️🫰🤔

[@Logiconfire]

Next President

[@arbor-sq4jk]

colbert was funny for once and thats all u got from it eh....discontent has many leaders...if not trump then some 1 else...so dumb

[@judithparsons1920]

Sooooo tired of T. Just lock him up

[@jimslancio]

Don't just lock him up, shut him up.

[@Shawn-jd5dd]

Trump is going to jail lol the ua supreme court while rule he has presidental immunity lol then i can eat popcorn amd watch demintia joe biden voters cry about trump lol what is it witj biden voters never have anything pro biden all theu have is hate for trump they dont have any enthiusaism for biden but biden doesnt have any either just look at him walk and talk hes jist a old man who clearly has demintia that has worked in goverment all his life and never worked like a normal american citizen hes just another career lying politcian trump 2024 i will vote for trump instead of a lifelong career washington estbalshment politcian id you have any sense you ahpuld onow never to trust a careee politcian weather is democrat repulician or indepent

[@kayellai5278]

I am fedup of the double standard justice system.

[@annjohnson8437]

"Think about Trump, then gag!" You got that right!!!!

[@Maudit_Anglais]

GREAT COMMENT !

[@aaronthenorm5400]

Or.. .weap for the country!

[@Shawn-jd5dd]

Stephen c9lbert can get trump iff his mind he cant say anything pro biden only antu trump typical liberial

[@Shawn-jd5dd]

Waiting for cry baby liberials to ch3xk my spelling because we all lnow they never debate only aling anti trump stuff amd notjing pro biden it truly is somethimg to laugh at

[@alexandertorro]

​@FevreDream-kj2sq Then I would just wear that around the house if I were you.

[@MuslimBeard]

Why won't this guy just go to jail already? What kinda world do we live in where a clear criminal not only dodges justice, but is potentially reelected as leader of the free world?

[@Conservadouche93]

Because he has rights like everyone else in this country

[@jmg999]

It's called America. We've been doing it for centuries.

[@Wudanmaster116]

@@Conservadouche93 its actually because of how many unbelievably stupid people we have living in this country and how terribly the education system has failed. To elect someone like Trump show this country has a deeper issue than Trump

[@Wildstar40]

We live in a corrupt world where if you got the money (especially in the USA) then you can get away with anything. This is what is happening with Trump. That is the kind of world we live in.

[@RevLeigh55]

The rest of us would already have been jailed for contempt. Trump is getting waaaaaay more deferential treatment than anyone else.

[@MarcKloos]

That guy is not getting his $175m back 💸💸

[@scooby45247]

yea its gone.. and its possible that the appellate court decides the 464 mil. was justified and force him to pay the entire amount..🤣

[@user-md4di6yg2p]

Good...he deserves to lose it!

[@Heather-xz8fk]

Anyone who goes into business with the orange menace will get screwed. Except for putin. He got his money’s worth.

[@rationalistssj6540]

Yes he is, plus the election! Thank god

[@JianLakerson]

It's a "donation. "

[@seandockery8896]

Posting pictures of somebody’s daughter especially to crazy people and especially in the context of how trump did it should warrant jail time. That’s disgusting and it must be irrelevant to the case. How is that not illegal

[@mammawlee]

If you or l did this, yes. Jail, no bail.

[@gagakk5566]

And a judge can’t shut him up how is country going to survive?! Unbelievable

[@annakingry9157]

The question s who is going to enforce the law against Trump. The answer is nobody.

[@kane-vn6bn]

odd that you believe you are right

[@davidcross4815]

It is. Anyone else would have been behind bars already.

[@darylcarr8283]

I'm not as pissed off about Hankey posting Trump's bond as I am over Trump getting a $300M DISCOUNT for that bond.

[@EagerJackrabbit-wy6zn]

Lock him up with no bond. Let him wear his golden sneakers and give him his bible so hell have something to read

[@ThatOpalGuy]

and nothing but salads to eat

[@beanogas63]

So he'll have something to read in hell.

[@DissectGibberish]

@@ThatOpalGuy Nah, let him have all the Twinkies and Ho-Ho's that he wants. And hot dogs. Just no drugs--Adderall, amphetamines, Z-quil, none of this stuff.

[@Brasswatchman]

_Can_ he read? I've never been clear on that.

[@thebagelsproductions]

He's got the time to read Crime and Punishment

[@shermanculbertson6244]

Trump’s argument all along has been not that he’s innocent, but that he has the right to be a criminal.

[@DissectGibberish]

He needs to be held responsible for all his crimes against Americans.

[@charlesmartin1121]

And we still have the right to vote. So do it. And maybe he will finally be brought to justice.

[@marniekilbourne608]

YES, somebody writes this exact comment EVERY night!

[@tuyenle8107]

Trump 4everrrr 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@wendyjohnson3254]

Otherwise, crime is at an all time low. I guess he has been trying to change all that…

[@user-vk6qr5pz3z]

Thank You Stephen Colbert, for all the laughs! We are all so stressed about trump, you keep it real!!

[@Shawn-jd5dd]

Glad tp see liberial are still stressed and triggred by donald j. Trump lets go brandon liberial please cry me some trump tears so i can go fishing there liberials are cry babies

[@markjudsoncpa8226]

Truth Social didn’t lose value - it never had any.

[@Shawn-jd5dd]

You let mainstream media do all ypur thinking for you lol truth social is cranking right now while fake news media says its not lol

[@stephanieadams3747]

"Think about Trump....then gag.". 😂😂

[@ChandlerSomborac]

"It's possible to have a voice that even Auto-Tune can't fix!".😂😭💀👏

[@rumpvirus7393]

She can sing a bar solo. So low nobody can get under it.

[@missella7339]

Oh WOW, Lara Trump's voice is terrible! I can imagine the hillbilly that buys it, then shoots it for target practice. 🎯

[@marshamariner7897]

​@@rumpvirus7393...that's good😘😘

[@user-yy4jo9pk2b]

Yuk! What an awful voice.

[@morbidmanmusic]

Fix? Autotune ruins.

[@tenisviejos]

This was a SOLID monolog. Congratulations to the writers and Steven 😂😂😂

[@davemail]

Stephen! You (and your talented writers) put a big smile on my face this morning. Thank you! 😂

[@Shawn-jd5dd]

Stephen colbert cant get trump off his mind trump is winning keep making all ypur shows about trump because it seems that is all ypu have trump 2024 lets go brandon

[@klh800]

@@Shawn-jd5dd trump for prison 2024!!!!

[@Shawn-jd5dd]

@@klh800 we keep thinking that i take it cnn and msnbc told you that so ypu just automatically think its going to hapen but when us suprem court rules that trump has presidental immuntity all charges will be dropped but cnn or msnbc hasnt told you that uet so im sure ypou wont belive me until cnn and msnbc tell you

[@DissectGibberish]

"Think about Trump--then gag." EXACTLY! 🤣🤣🤣

[@vinniediesel1369]

Would an innocent man threaten a judge and his family? I know he would NOT.

[@marieroberts5664]

Would a smart man threaten a judge's family? No. Would a sane man? Also no. But does a stupid man issue threats in public before the cameras? Apparently so.

[@DavidCundiff-fx2mm]

Because the judge Is a socialist piece of 💩

[@docdirtymrclean3610]

​@@marieroberts5664Because he knows he has a base of even dumber, ignorant, racists. Also he knows most of the judges are part of that dumb. Reichwingers have been setting this up for years.

[@WhataMensch]

Silent Stephen being totally mute again

[@DavidCundiff-fx2mm]

Because the judge is a socialist 💩 face

[@rdca8236]

Mr Hankey posted Trump's bond?? Damn that CHRISTMAS POO!!!

[@James_Doyle83]

Yep

[@LazyJack2003]

As a German I always crack up when Americans imitate the German accent / behaviour. Well done, Stephen.

[@lisakaz35]

How 'bout Stephen Fry as a camp German?

[@LazyJack2003]

@@lisakaz35 I know Stephen Fry, of course, - and love him - but I must have missed that one.

[@lisakaz35]

@@LazyJack2003 There's a YT clip of Fry on QI as a collection of Fry displaying an array of accents. Many are Scottish but this one isn't. It starts with him finding humor in the German term for a mobile phone as "Mein Handy."

[@alansmitheejr.]

Even the cicadas can keep in tune better and longer than Lara.

[@publicuser2534]

Quite sure T-pain is rolling on the floor laughing for the auto-tune. 😂

[@rumpvirus7393]

auto tuna fish.

[@BrentHollett]

What's the point of a gag order, if they never enforce it? Put Trump in jail pending trial...

[@almightymachine9930]

I got something he can gag on right here folks!

[@Slo-ryde]

T is proven how inept the justice system is….and just laughing at it.

[@eatmyaholelibs]

For what ...Joe is the real criminal....u bunch of Nazis

[@leslieroberts4767]

We have lots of evidence that DJT encourages violence applied to anyone he deems not loyal to him. Judges are afraid defendent DJT already has implied to his MAGA goon loyalist to do violence for him if he is jailed or loses in court or election. This why Jan 6th convictions as examples of consequences ate so important and that goes for his criminal lawyers etc who planned to overthrow the 2020 Nov election

[@judithnelson1581]

Too much compassion for Trump's Secret Service detail??😮

[@Feralzen]

Now that was a buggy sketch. A plague of cicadas, Germans burning roaches and a rich guy helping a giant roach avoid the raid can.

[@dawnw.6559]

"Think about Trump, then gag."😂😂😂

[@Opus313]

Donnie should be locked up! Anyone else would be rotting in prison...

[@Conservadouche93]

Wont matter, Trump will still be calling the shots for GOP

[@wheressteve]

The Just-us system is working exactly as it was designed.

[@scooby45247]

thats what happens when you allow lobby money to buy Congress.. corporate interests overrule we the people.. profit over people..

[@MomirsLabTech]

The whole reason the bipartisan border deal didnt happen was because Trump wanted to use the border as a bargaining chip while running again. Hes still controlling the GOP without being elected, and will until he croaks.

[@tygrahof9268]

@@scooby45247Yes, run by the Greed Over People's Party

[@stevechance150]

Trump is a bully.

[@Conservadouche93]

Wahhhh

[@BrandonFuller-kw3gv]

​@@Conservadouche93the schtick is old, kid. You're far too obviously faking it. Much like anyone who's ever slept with DJT.

[@SleepyOx2023]

Stating the obvious 😂 I'm worried for his victims

[@Logiconfire]

Biden is a tool.

[@Paul512]

He's a wimp that punches down don't know why his cult love it so much.

[@Zetalpa187]

"Mr. Hankey the subprime auto Poo bails out another turd."

[@user-sv9nb8ky2t]

hi-de-ho!

[@dh3279]

Stephen, this was one of your best monologues ever!

[@charlesstebbins7207]

It's nice to know that I'm not the only person who fights back vomit every time that I hear Trump's voice.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

His voice makes my brain 🤮

[@SleepyOx2023]

😂

[@jenniferstone2975]

Watching his Butthole mouth pucker around his bad veneers as he vomits the same thing over and over again: also a hurl inducer.

[@edwardlulofs444]

I always have to mute the sound when dt is speaking. I first heard of dt when he came down the escalator - I didn’t like him then and dt is more revolting now.

He kind of sounds that way himself really

[@Tadicuslegion78]

I'm tired of our two tiered justice system protecting Trump.

[@publicuser2534]

The judge can’t lock his dumass up, unfortunately. If he did, trump would seal more votes and funding.

[@Conservadouche93]

That's a worn out horse that you're riding atm

[@ZombieNausea]

Are we really going to just WATCH while he breaks our country? Can't someone step in an assert some judicial dominance here?

[@leeneil5775]

@@Conservadouche93 Dude...your "channel" has two (count 'em - two!) followers! That would be you and your mother? Get a clue!

[@bovinityleak2066]

For real! Snowden has to live in exile for trying to do a good thing while Dump is still hoarding classified documents and running for president and encouraging his cult to try and over throw the government AGAIN! . If you are a right winger on the highest court in the land then you never have to follow another rule ever while flipping the bird to society knowing you lied to get the job in the first place.

[@yvonnelewis4888]

Unreal,Hanky Panky 😄 When will justice prevail and get this traitor to America put in jail?

[@wailinburnin]

Writers did a great job on this one and showcased Colbert’s physical humor, close, good team, inspiring.

[@roberthaworth8991]

Jack Benny was once criticised onstage at an Hollywood event by Fred Allen, a fellow comedian with whom he had a long-running (but fake) “feud”. Once Allen had delivered his barb, Benny did a slow burn and then replied, “I wouldn’t let you get away with that if my writers were here!”

[@stephenmcfarland2298]

The goal is to make the judge irritated and make some ruling that seems connected to that irritation. Then, on appeal, Trump can try to claim, "This judge clearly didn't like me. I didn't have a fair trial!"

[@garfield2439]

Yep that's exactly what he is trying to do

[@DissectGibberish]

So far Trump and his cronies have emphatically failed. I can hardly wait to see him in trial, and convicted of his many crimes--THAT will be a day to celebrate!

[@kerlygerl]

Definitely one of his strategies. He’s not dumb. He’s smart in the scariest of ways. 🤯🤬😩

[@maryclarke3324]

So Trumputin wants the Judge, jury everyone in the court house to LIKE him????¿?? What a malarkey 😁😁😁😁

[@yurielcundangan9090]

Former President should be held accountable

[@morbidmanmusic]

I believe you. Now tell us why?

[@Paul512]

​@@morbidmanmusicif you need to be told there is no point in trying to explain it. You understand that?

[@Jan-zv7ze]

Get an education...that will help you figure this out.@@morbidmanmusic

[@DavidCundiff-fx2mm]

Yep Obama!!!

[@aircraftcarrierwo-class]

@@morbidmanmusic Repeatedly breaking the law. Pay attention.

[@nepenthesBicalcarata5666]

The cicadas are awesome for the environment. Please everyone don’t spray or kill them… 👍

[@MaggieJean]

Yesterday was Wisconsin's primary. It made me sick to see the lack of interest, the small amount of voters.

[@freespeechbeyond2024]

The United States of America does not need a " Dictator " ... Vote for Democracy America...

[@Conservadouche93]

It's a joke

[@tuyenle8107]

Trump 4everrrr 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kingjamos2422]

@@Conservadouche93 You do realize that him being compared to dictators and called a dictator wannabe happened long before that joke, right? What many find concerning isn't the joke, it is him.

[@khalidrasheed8452]

​@@tuyenle8107 trump he will lose again in November

[@Thadmotor1044]

Vote Dem ballot down . Rebuke Fascism and trumpy biggly Hate

[@TerriJansma-dn8go]

Why isn’t he escorted out of the courtroom and put in jail for violating the gag order? Then he can either at contempt of court charges or sit his fat butt in jail.

[@dipperjc]

Seriously, why should anybody ever bother following a judge's order again? With this kind of precedent, I am starting to see less and less of a reason to remain law-abiding.

[@thegrouchization]

Technically he didn't violate the order, as the people he attacked weren't included in it until this hearing. Why the Judge didn't include their family in the order to begin with when Trump has a known history of stochastic terrorism against those who oppose him, I have no idea.

[@connietimmons742]

Yeah, minus Secret Service, phone and internet!

[@dinmagol9874]

Because His following would start to riot and it'll escalate to violence. The judge knows, while any random has no idiotic following who'd defend him with violence

[@fionaanderson5796]

@@dinmagol9874 the judge also knows that the threat of violence is NO excuse not to enforce the law, otherwise every mob boss and organised crime ring would be untouchable.

[@lindawellner5415]

Bravo on cicadas...dont kill them Mon santo!

[@24cts]

Kudos to your writers !!!

[@thoughtsintime]

Waking up way over here in India to Colbert and TDS is always a great start to my day - I don’t care about any of the content as it’s a world away but it distracts me from our own shit show. Reminds me we’re not the only ones f*****d up. 😂

[@davewatchedthat]

Thanks for a little perspective, neighbour!

[@astilealavatica1404]

Do you work in a call center or ethical field?

[@andrewfrazer8874]

He should be in jail with Peter Navarro on their green bay sweep game plan

[@rebny7801]

When he said Florida is legalizing smoking recreational pot, my first reaction was: " well that's gonna make Florida safer"

[@jansilverthorn777]

I think you will find the pot smokers a little more mellow than the meth heads.😂

[@serendipityshopnyc]

That cicada noise was truly impressive!

[@stoppin2look]

Hankey Pankey... like the rhyme ... really funny. Truth Social losing money made me smile even wider.

[@gamepapa1211]

Why don't they just use Lara Trump's album to drive away the cicadas? I've been using her high-pitched screeching as a deterrent against rats and pests. Worked like a charm.

[@RLU-wt8vi]

It will also remove chrome off your bumpers, hard water deposits in your toilet, and stink bugs from getting in your house.

[@tuyenle8107]

Trump 4everrrr 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@gamepapa1211]

​​@@RLU-wt8viThe only side-effect is that these red MAGA hats kept popping up all over the place. Ah well. I could always use extra mulch.

[@p.j.m.d.1948]

🥴🤣👍🏼😉🤔😂

[@kingjamos2422]

@@tuyenle8107 Say something different for once. I'll even accept a sarcastic "Something else" as a response. Like, come on...

[@splatzec]

We’ve needed shows like these on repeat for the last 9 years xD rock on Colbert 😂

[@surewhatever8843]

Those cicadas are ASCENDING, not descending. 🤣

[@CatherinePrice-pz6id]

Truth social was always a hollow echo chamber of Dumpy's ravings. I really laughed when it got shut down during the State of the Union address.

[@scooby45247]

i would have thought hating dogs would have made 45 too unpopular to ever think of running..

[@Conservadouche93]

Hold that thought. Its going to be a close election and RFK will mostly take votes away from Biden

[@sharonkellner7126]

That would have been true in normal times. These are not normal times.

[@jpg7879]

He hate's everything except rich white men. He can spunge off, wonder what secrets he sold them.

[@Conservadouche93]

@sharonkellner7126 people voting against someone because they dislike dogs was normal back then? Now that's derangement syndrome

[@stephanieames66]

I would think denigrating a war hero or mocking a crippled man would have kept him out of the WH.

[@eleanorek.leslie9818]

Thank you, Stephan!! Keep going!👍👍💕💕

[@tenacious1]

Thank you so much Stephen Colbert for helping us laugh through these tough times... The Era of trump and the GQP. This one made me laugh so much from the jokes about Trump and his daughter-in-law's "music" do everything. I thank you and the show's writers. 🙏🏾

[@adamlayneandersen]

You nailed it❤

[@rumpvirus7393]

Don't think... just jump ? That was written by John Lemming Posthumously. He was a great composter in the field.

[@Columbiastargazer]

trump isn't arguing he's innocent, he's arguing he has the right to be a criminal

[@Conservadouche93]

Sigh, yet again. The copypasta is for real

[@ThatOpalGuy]

@@Conservadouche93 reality really sucks for you guys, doesn't it?

[@Heather-xz8fk]

You are so right.

[@belindared3389]

You're so funny and , a poet

[@lilacsmith]

You post this in every late time talk video

[@lashendawest7509]

We love your show stephen colbert

[@t.d.186]

You mean the fundraiser for Genocide Joe?

[@michaeldmusiccanada]

🤣Go Stormy Go!....LT?..🤣..stick to cookies, and BYBLE study 😂 Happy 420 We love @Willie Nelson ❤

[@stephenatwood241]

I in fact forgot it was primary day here in NYC until I saw something online in the afternoon. So, yesterday was the first time in (countless elections) where I went to vote in the evening rather than early in the morning before going to work. I wasn't surprised to see no one waiting in line anywhere in my polling place in Brooklyn.

[@yurielcundangan9090]

Former president should be truly held. Accountable

[@sharonkellner7126]

“There should be only one response: ‘Bring your toothbrush, Donald Trump, because you’re going to sit in a jail cell for a while.”

[@jandrews6254]

And leave behind your makeup, hairspray, belt (or anti gravity device), girdle and heel lifts

[@jackharrison7613]

um, you mean his cup of polident

[@PennyDavis-cm9tl]

He can get his Cocaine there but not his diapers. Steve Bannon will have to order them from Russia.😮

[@juschu85]

German here. Amsterdam will still be Europe's dealer. We won't have legal shops selling weed (for now). You are allowed to grow it yourself at home (3 plants per person) or in registered growing clubs. EU laws are stopping us from having shops. The Netherlands use a loophole we can't use right now without implementing other substantial laws. What's also weird is that while you can legally own weed in the Netherlands and in Germany, it's still illegal to bring it over the border. At least you're allowed to get seeds from the Netherlands. I think this whole situation is the biggest problem with the law. It's not going far enough. One of the most important things is to fight the black market. Illegal dealers won't check your ID to see if you're old enough and they're more likely to lace the weed with some stuff you don't want in it. And as long as you have to grow your own weed, most people will still prefer the comfort of just getting it from a dealer. As long as they do, dealing weed will be lucrative and the black market will do business as usual.

[@ff-cq5hh]

Lock up what you can't debate.

[@MadDragon75]

It's refreshing to see that everywhere I go on KZbin, everybody wants to see Donald trump locked up.

[@Conservadouche93]

Then you've only examined one perspective on the matter. Not a great way to form an opinion

[@Brasswatchman]

​@@Conservadouche93 Shut it, 'douche. Your "perspective" became irrelevant the day your guy tried to overthrow the Constitution.

[@MadDragon75]

@@Conservadouche93 Wrong. I follow progressive and conservative news..so try again. TYT? Just one of many I'm a member of. More MAGA members are jumping ship day by day. Not all of them hate democracy... Not all of them are brainwashed into believing democracy is the same as democrat. Many understand that without democracy, you don't have a vote... Like Russia.

[@calisto2735]

@@Conservadouche93 Opinion? What does an opinion has to do with anything here?... Lol GOP went from "law and order" to "opinion" party real fast, when it turned out, facts are not on their side 😆 He's clearly 100% a conman. He has MANY court judgements against him already. It's not a matter of "opinion", buddy. And as for a criminal... We just look at the classified documents case and it's all clear. There's no "opinions" here. The guy said it himself. He took it, he refused giving it back, he tried hiding it. End of story. These are the facts. The only people who rely on OPINION here, are the crowd trying to find excuses for his criminal behaviour, grasping at straws. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@Hellkite-er5pg]

Yeah because Trump right-wing nutjobs are on Rumble.

[@annietang3780]

Let’s give Trump what he fear most,-failing him in November. We will hand him the justice ourselves. That’s how we regular people can beat the “billionaire”.

[@Slo-ryde]

Been saying this since the AG slow walked the investigation on T…… nobody will do anything and it will be up to the voters in Nov.

[@dawnstanley1733]

Yes, lets!! Lol

[@oscarmendez3362]

You are the man Stephen!

[@teresitauy3692]

I’m sick and tired of all these gag order , why not just put him in jail ., that will shut him up .

[@geoffreycat1763]

If Judge Merchan can't rule on this case then Thomas has no business ruling in any of trumps cases either.

[@marieroberts5664]

Or Aileen Cannon.

[@TheWtfanime]

I'm sick and tired of living in a world where some old orange narcissist cries so hard we have to hear about him in the news everyday who also somehow controls almost the entirety of the gqp. I miss when Obama was president, heck even Bush Jr. at this point.

[@user-md4di6yg2p]

At least Bush Jr. had a sense of humor, and his wife had a brain.

[@Conservadouche93]

You might want to price in Trump winning this November. For your emotional sake

[@garfield2439]

I'm with you there I never thought I'd miss Bush Jr

[@GordonPavilion]

@@Conservadouche93Trump Delusion Syndrome is real and his insufferable cult members suffer from it.

[@joancooney7724]

@@Conservadouche93 Boring 😂

[@angelestorres6334]

The Taboo Zone sounds like a real nightmare 😂 They should close that place down

[@VeracityLH]

I dread the next cicada invasion. During the last one they were so heavy in my area that might kids could not ride their bikes without crunching on cicada corpses. Stores had areas for you to bat the cicadas out of your clothes when you entered. It was AWFUL!

[@Germandave39]

As a German, I appreciated the bit on our pot legalization a lot. 😊 Stephen's pronounciation of Lauterbach was quite good. 👏 Kudos

[@kinngrimm]

Well keep watching, he hardly misses an opportunity to make jokes of our nazi past, our lack of humor or the way we speak. Often all at the same time ^^

[@girlfromthebronxbywayofelb7288]

I absolutely voted in today's primary. Always vote all the time!! 🗽💙🌊💙🌊🗽

[@stephenm3470]

I literally just found I missed it. Surely this is the type of thing they should advertise.

[@connyleicht6567]

​Isn't there a certain responsibility of one's own to inform oneself? I wonder.....​@@stephenm3470

[@DavidCundiff-fx2mm]

Where is Ellen Degeneres

[@girlfromthebronxbywayofelb7288]

The board of elections mails a notice to your address. Read the notice and keep it near your calendar. Post it on the refrigerator so that you can't forget.

[@dogsbecute]

@@stephenm3470 they do. you probably threw away your voter card the board of elections mails to you every year, along with the pamphlets explaining what election is coming up and when. You should probably not throw away your mail without skimming through it . Just because you werent aware doesnt mean it wasnt advertised lol

[@lynemac2539]

Spanky! Yes, that's what I've been calling him ever since I realized that Chump seemed to respectful.

[@rezolutionist7715]

I'm surprised how good Stephen is, for that's EXACTLY how we dance in the Taboo Zone.

[@bennposcher1025]

Sorry my fellow German, you missspelled it, its Tabu Zone!

[@juneju6637]

It’s amazing that Trump would complain if someone went after his kids.

[@DissectGibberish]

Frankly, I don't believe he would. Trump has proven that he only cares about himself.

[@p.j.m.d.1948]

He doesn’t care if they do..

[@benjaminchisolmjr7863]

Only if it was Ivanka.

[@dielaughing73]

Except Eric, of course

[@rotterdammer5243]

I just love when Stephen does the German Angular dancer song!!! I JUST COULD`NT STOP LAFFIN~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@rayv.7736]

Dude you are hilarious! I thank you for the laughs!

[@ZamboneeMan]

Its never about the case, trump is using the courts as his stage since he has no time or money for rallies

[@bennposcher1025]

Greetings from Germany, proud that we got to be in your show. The dance was hilarious 😂

[@mayadesilva]

I actually witnessed people doing that same dance at the techno club Berghaim in Berlin last summer! Great Monolgue Stephen, I laughed out loud at least seven times! Get rid of T-Rump NOW!

[@sabine563]

Same here! I really felt the reality in stereotypes then..😂 Greetings from a German 😎

[@petercolbeysgameshowmania7176]

“Ve go to make the disco! Ja ja ja! Ve go to make the disco! Ja ja ja!”

[@jackie6903]

It is a historic, not an historic.

[@FDR_progressive_liberal]

What are the odds Hankey will get his money back? Less than the chance of making money off the bond, I'll wager.

[@Sailor376also]

As someone who grew up with cicadas outside the window making a racket,, that was a pretty good impression !!! Well done !

[@titichartay7216]

Reason why Trump hates dog is that they could always smell his bad vibes.

[@Paul512]

There are some butt's even dogs won't sniff

[@caseybowman4644]

Condolences to Stephen and his staff for their loss. My heart breaks for Stephen during his time of loss. His executive assistant recently died of cancer I read and they announced it on Monday. 😢

[@jennifercook6497]

Could you just IMAGINE Trump in Judge Judy's courtroom?! Comedy gold! There'd be memes for years!!!!

[@sshaw4429]

“Country music was strangled to death…”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@martyberry1917]

Lock him up!

[@HOPEat]

Best monologue ever!

[@ScottBoecher-ew6nd]

You hit it! “Stupid Social”

[@ninoschouten9727]

As a Dutchie who grew up close to the border, I'm just happy we won't have German weed tourists over anymore, cramping up coffee shops and driving through the city high at night. Good on Germany for finally legalizing!

[@ValerieMais]

yes, agree, but apparently we all live in Amsterdam lol

[@kinngrimm]

as a german i already cringe thinking about you guys returning the favor now =) Then again, we still have no shops to buy weed in so we might be ok -_-

[@ninoschouten9727]

@@kinngrimm hahahaha, fair game

[@Belindamatson]

@@ninoschouten9727 That was a wholesome exchange with @Kinngrimm :) and I'm going to apologise in advance for my tourism next year, Australia still hasn't legalised so I'm heading your way, and now I'll probably add Germany to the list as well. I'll be good though, promise!

[@vintagethings9187]

Was that your house I used to pass on the left hand side?

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Lara Trump’s “singing” is technically 99.99% auto-tune (which does a LOT of heavy lifting). Another song from Lara Trump to be played non-stop at Gitmo.

[@grayguy3619]

Colbert's right about the Cicadas, it's going to be an ear-deafening nightmare!

[@robertgandler3177]

Spot on honest and hysterical as always thanks!

[@B_Bodziak]

Lara's middle school choir teacher obviously told Lara to just mouth the words.

[@AceFace50001]

Her singing is worse than drunk karaoke.

[@tammyd.970]

You give her way too much credit. She didn't learn the lyrics. She just mouthed "watermelon" the whole time. (for non-choir losers, this was a cheat for when you couldn't remember the lyrics. It would look like you're singing with everyone else, mostly.)

[@user-bx7zp9sj9y]

She's Absolutely Awful and also Stupid. She married a Trump and he's a Loser just like his Father. That Apple didn't fall but inches.

[@leannevandekew1996]

He tried to buy the NFL's Buffalo Bills pro football team back about 2014. He was in the pool of 6 final bidders the NFL chose and was asked to submit financial records to show he could either buy the team or could raise funds for it with solid collateral backing, but instead he submitted a letter with a copy of a Fortune Magazine article listing him as one of the wealthier people in the United States. The NFL turned him down.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

Back when the world made sense! Nowadays, if Kris Kardashian says you're a billionaire, that's accepted as gospel truth, no research required. So stupid Kylie can commit fraud and never see any consequences...

[@hereigoagain5050]

"Da Bugs" didn't hit in NYC but we appreciate it in Chicago. Steven, your always welcome back.

[@Kokuswolf]

As a german I would love to see Mr. Colbert visiting us and showing us the Taboo Zone club... ... and his dance. I would instantly join him. Great humor.

[@user-go1jm7ib6j]

So I'm guessing the same Country Music purists who were outraged by Beyonce releasing a Country Music record are totally fine with autotuned Lara Trump doing the same. Can't imagine why.

[@DissectGibberish]

They pick their music at "Hypocrisy-R-Us".

[@Paul512]

​@@DissectGibberishtheir wife's at family hoedowns...

[@DavidCundiff-fx2mm]

Beyonce sucks 🏀⚾️🏈

[@SpaceForceCommander]

🐣 Mr. Hankey the Easter Poo. 💩

[@wheressteve]

Sometimes he's nutty.... Sometimes he's corny....

[@TheUberjammer]

Timmy!

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

"Well Hidey Howw!" Some other POS to big Orange's rescue....😅 "Gosh, Kyle you sure do smell a lot like flawrs....."

[@jcanfieldschatz]

Just wanted to say, Monday evenings have been awesome. Jon Stewart, Seth Meyers followed by Colbert. ☺

[@laurafay2796]

DAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH bugs...Stephen was on fire tonight Props to the writers

[@robertpearson8546]

Laura's caterwauling proves that technology cannot make a screech owl a top singer.

[@jacquelinevanfossan7007]

Do not insult owls. They, at least, perform a service, like getting rid of vermin. I'd rather listen to these beautiful creatures than the trump critters.

[@seanstoyroom7274]

But if you want to clear out a house after a party...

[@FurtiveSkeptical]

Son: Daddy, is that lady hurting that song? Father: Yes, son. Yes she is.