HOW MY NO-BUY YEAR CHANGED MY LIFE | Hannah Louise Poston | MY BEAUTY BUDGET

[@rachel8216]

About self-care: I used to avoid my homework under the guise of self-care. Turns out, I was so stressed all the time because I was behind on my schoolwork, so I was actually just creating a problem for myself. Sometimes self care means doing the thing you really don't want to do because it's good for you. It won't feel good in the moment, but you'll be better off. My point is that self-care has MANY different faces and may change depending on what you need in your life at the moment.

[@jessicaharrison4719]

I once read that self-care is parenting yourself. It helped me visualize it in a much healthier way, because taking care of yourself usually looks more like eating your veggies and abiding by your budget and less like retail "therapy" or spa days.

[@benisrood]

Very, very important point! Thank you for making it.

[@benisrood]

​@@jessicaharrison4719 Yeah, well said, Jessica. It's nice to pamper yourself from time to time but that is not self-care.

[@dreamer6943]

Yes there's a difference between self care and self soothing

[@XEveryoneLovesEmilyX]

I am pretty sure that a lot of brands would not be able to survive if only the ones that can truly afford it bought from them.

[@marynorton6068]

Emily Haslinger definitely. I don’t have exact numbers but I believe most luxury brands generate the most income from cosmetics. Most people can’t afford a Chanel bag but could probably stretch to a lipstick. Ironically these brands work so hard to create an image of exclusivity, but in reality they make their money selling overpriced nail polish to the average Joe!

[@XEveryoneLovesEmilyX]

true...same with iphones. Apple is trying to sell the dream of exclusivity when a lot of poor people in my country save on groceries just to pay for an overpriced montly contract to be able to afford it.

[@moonfirepz]

Good point!

[@Reiliferei]

this has been something on my mind for years... how many sales really do come from the wealthy .

[@NeonPegasus]

I had watched a british TV documentary on luxury brands and how they market themselves and in had mentioned how large fashion brands survive on selling attenable items for those who are aspirational, eg jewellery and accessories. The people use them as a status symbol and the brands sell them at a huge profit margin. During economically hard times this market grow and grows because that's when people need them most as a status symbol.

[@TheOurobouros]

In an interview, Donatella Versace says that the bulk of their profits are in accessories, not ready to wear, precisely because the clothes are outside of the budget of most people, but the accessories are juusssst within reach. People may not be able to splurge on a ballgown, which is what gives the brand identity so much clout, but a Versace belt? It may still be several hundreds of dollars, "but after all, it is Versace".

[@ros8986]

this is true for every couture house.

[@Leisuregirl2000]

This is so interesting

[@psingh135]

When you were talking about how you felt about your fantasy self and said "I constantly felt stuck, down, hard on myself, left behind. I always felt like I had failed, I was failing, and would always fail" - I just burst into tears. Thank you for your openness. It means so much to see someone reflect back on turmoil that I'm currently going through because it provides a viscerally comforting knowledge that it's going to be okay. You were one of the first to take...(in light of your Robert Frost reading) a road less traveled, and to hear that it truly has made all the difference in your life makes me so incredibly happy for you. All the love, as always 💛💛💛

[@HannahLouisePoston]

YOU ARE DOING AMAZING PRACHI!!!!!!!!!

[@sarahzucker4092]

When she talked about not feeling like the wolves were constantly at the door I burst into tears

[@eikawithac]

First, I'll echo everyone's standing ovation. What an incredible video! Second, I want to say thank you for talking about the difference between "self-soothing" with shopping, avoidance, unhealthy habits, etc. and authentic self-care that involves actually... caring for ourselves. Women started speaking out about self-care, and advertisers and certain influencers sank their teeth into the concept almost immediately, transforming it into something that means "spend lots of money." I've gotten to the point that I hate hearing people say "skincare is self-care" (as someone who is Really Into Skincare), because the way it's being marketed nowadays really is an expensive cosmetic hobby, no more, no less. We need more voices like yours out here, pushing back on that and reminding everyone what true self-care means.

[@kimmybaker8273]

I feel like you just carved into my soul and ripped out a part of myself that I have kept hidden from everyone, including myself. Throughout your video, I wanted to click away and find a more light-hearted video, because everything you said resonated with me and it was a bit painful to watch. I have had similar thoughts and feelings, and I understand what it's like to not feel like you can acquire all the beautiful things you want. I also realized that, my shopping may be a distraction from the problems I'm afraid to face head-on in my life. Thank you for making this video, it really touched my soul and opened my eyes. You are a beautiful poet and artist, and you articulate your words in a magnetic way that has the viewer glued to their screen.

[@michelek9321]

Oh my word, the last part of your video is absolutely incredible. We're born into a consumerist culture and the lure of luxury is dangled in front of us everywhere we turn. It's no wonder we yearn for a lot in life far far above our means. The hedonic treadmill distracts us from appreciating and truly loving the life we already have and from doing our real work in the world.

[@HannahLouisePoston]

so true! It is no wonder!

[@anusheh6776]

Hannah... every thought you articulate is so insightful and well analysed. I found myself agreeing with every point you made, but realised that I hadn’t ever been able to voice these concepts to myself. It feels almost therapeutic to hear you talk about this struggle. 💜

[@HannahLouisePoston]

I'm so glad it's helpful to watch

[@minimalilly4003]

@@HannahLouisePoston I cannot agree with this comment enough. I am unhappy with my life and there is absolutely NO reason for this feeling ... Thank you so so much for shedding light onto this topic (which might not be relatable to many, but it was like you spoke from my "heart of hearts" ;))! I finally have kind of an understanding where my unhappiness comes from and you inspire me by telling your story of how you overcame your struggle. I am going to do a no-buy until the end of the year and I hope that it will be as cathartic as I hope it will be. So that I can join you in that place of happy acceptance of what is a beautiful life

[@becsclaireee]

HOLY. CRAP. I’m going to have to watch this 1,000,000 times. This is hitting me upside the head.

[@TheFaceCreator]

OMG…. my mind is literally blown. Your before is me now. I’ve never realized that I’m just fantasizing about an unrealistic life instead of living the one I actually have which is why I’m constantly disappointed… I’m speechles. Thank you❤️

[@SkyNessa321]

Okay. I just had to pause about halfway through this video because your insights are so inspiring. I don't know if you listen to NPR podcasts, but I'm a big fan of Planet Money, an economics podcast. I found your comment about the luxury goods market so compelling that I quoted a portion of the video and emailed it to the Planet Money team as a question for a potential episode! Just look how powerful this comment looks in writing: "I have to wonder how much of the luxury goods economy is dependent on actually selling luxury goods to people who are wealthy and can afford them, and how much of the luxury goods market depends on tricking people who literally cannot afford luxury goods into thinking that overspending on something luxury will add value to their lives." This is the content I am here for. This is why I practically stalk your channel. Thank you for sharing your journey with us Hannah. You have no idea how much good and value you bring to this space. I continue to learn so much from your channel and I can't thank you enough for all the positive change you've inspired in my life. I hope NPR eventually gets to this email and finds it interesting enough to investigate!

[@gailjacobson9736]

Skylar Griego brilliant! I hope you gave Hannah credit. I’ve been thinking for so long that her KZbin content would make an incredible book.

[@SkyNessa321]

Gail Jacobson Of course I gave her credit! I linked the video and gave a time stamp for it and everything. I’ve never considered getting this content in the form of a book before. It would be effective, but it would be sad to lose some of the things I love about Hannah’s channel. Like the fun makeup looks, and honestly just getting to watch someone so beautiful! But a book would be a great way to put all of the gems contained in so many videos into one place and arranged in a cohesive way. Even though I’m familiar with the channel, I am soooo buying that book if/when it comes out 😁

[@gailjacobson9736]

Skylar Griego I know it would change things completely.

[@ampersignia]

That’s awesome! I thought about planet money listener questions episodes when she said that too! :D I hope my podcast and KZbin content worlds crossover in this way!

[@Iquey]

This question is really important. I live in an affluent area but I think the majority of people who are buying luxury status symbols are middle class who want to look rich. I'm guilty of this to an extent, but I don't need any more handbags or fancy logos at this point in my life to feel good about myself. I still ride the bus and wear my cheap looking hoodie most days on my way to work and try to save my nice stuff for my days off. Real rich people probably do no such thing. Actually wealthy people just dress classy but don't try to stand out too much because they want to keep their money safe and hidden. A rich person could drive a boring car that's paid off in full but own several rental properties and a farm in the country to spend vacations in and host family out of town in. The super rich buy jets, yachts and passports / dual citizenship in other countries.

[@elizabethj8130]

Things that stuck ; Real verses surface level self care, aping wealth, purchasing our way to a fantasy future & self (me every time), giving ourselves a taste of the “good life” to keep the fantasy self alive as counteract our progress towards an actually wealthy life.

[@HannahLouisePoston]

[@lisalynch8128]

I literally just stumbled upon your channel... You articulated exactly what I have been feeling most of my life but kept so hidden and buried out of shame that I had lost the words. I am 56. I am saving this video and will watch it over and over. What a precious inspiration you are. You have given me hope and a way to find myself out the darkness and live a authentic best life. Thank you..

[@GiddingsMcCann]

Hi, Lisa. I am 59 and found this channel while I was looking for inspiration on breaking a shopping habit. And I hit the motherlode here. The point of going through the pain of breaking the addiction of shopping is change, all the way down to the soul level. Hannah is the real deal. Now to go back and soak in all the videos that led up to this one. But will definitely watch this one again.

[@renataarabella51]

All of it makes total sense. I am addicted to shopping and I am trying really hard to stop buying stuff. I am buying stuff for my future, better self and don't even use most of the things I buy, saving them for the future that I might not have. Thank you for the video, it is very inspirational :)

[@lmolarissa]

This is hands down the best video series I've ever seen on gaining control over spending money and I can't applaud you enough for being willing to discuss the deep dive. This is so helpful and I am really impressed with your openness and effort to explain for us your evolving process. Thank you!

[@zeynb5727]

Damn, Hannah. The second half of this video was insanely eye opening - thank you for revealing such a deep and tender part of your heart that is still hurting, albeit mostly healed thanks to your vulnerability and communication. I know how healing it is to finally open up topics that are uncomfortable and talk them through no matter how much you want to flee in that moment and be defensive and anywhere but there and I'm so glad you came out the other side a stronger and happier person and couple, I think that's so important. You're such a lovely and good person who deserves the best life, but honestly from the outside at least you already have it! You're the most glamorous person I know - a business owner, artist, writer, model, youtuber extroardinaire with the most cool and well decorated apartment that has a strong lassez faire glamour, with a wonderful life partner and cat and a sophisticate taste in food, wine and beauty. I know how it looks from the outside doesn't always help with how it feels from the inside but I have such genuine love and respect for who you are and the way you move through life that I thought I would express it again because having goals and aspirations doesn't mean you can't be happy now, as you expressed in the video. We'll always have goals and aspirations we are working towards and not allowing yourself happiness until you reach them just means you'll never be happy. I only recently started feeling that way in the spring after a few years of awful self hatred in college due to the way it unfolding not aligning with my expectations and constantly comparing myself to others and feeling stuck and everything you mentioned. I had no self esteem, etc etc. Only as I was about to graduate did I realize that every week was a 'hard week but next week will be better' and that all I could do was my best, and everyone has different things they achieve and accomplish. My point is, hugs to you because I felt this so hard and you're great

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you my love xoxoxo

[@Puglover130]

Zeyn San OT but so glad you commented. KZbin unsubscribed me and every time I tried to search for you on Social media , all the results were for the heroin addict from one direction 🙈 I was thinking you’d left.

[@JustJeannie6369]

I loved this video. It resonates totally with me and it’s something that only “clicked” to me in my mid-40s once reality set in. I think that when we’re young everyone believes an “extraordinary” life (financially) is within their grasp but truly the reason it is a fantasy is because it’s extremely rare. Even a household making $150,000 annually is statistically very rare where we’re looking at a life that requires $750K-$1million a year. Feeling like you have the shampoo or the soap or the purse of a woman living that life makes you feel a sense of belonging and “progress” but really it’s just all part of the mirage. What compounds this is if you are an artistic-brained or gifted person. I am gifted artistically and creatively and I have ALWAYS loved beautiful clothing, beautiful jewelry, beautiful homes, beautiful food and exceptionally beautiful people. It’s just the way my brain is wired. But now I know I can create a beautiful and asthetic environment but on a much smaller scale. Hopefully that makes sense.

[@amara560]

Thank you for sharing this❤ really resonated with my personal thoughts!

[@cgales11]

A princess born into the wrong life. That hit me right between the eyes. Thank you for this powerful video. I have a long way to go but you continually show me I can get there.

[@rosesaetta627]

The bottom line here is to find your true identity. I now know who I am and whose I am. I am the daughter of the most high God. I am royalty. It's not about what I do or what I have or what I know or my appearance. I am loved by the creator of heaven and Earth. The void that we are trying to fill cannot be filled by things of this world. But only by the love of God.

[@mirandahazel1703]

Hannah I just wanted to say that I started watching your channel at the end of 2018 and since then I have only bought 2 makeup items. You made me realise that I've spent so much money on makeup for the past couple of years, given how little I use it. I made an inventory of all my makeup and am trying to save my money. I also unfollowed brands and accounts on social media that make me want to buy and now barely see something I want. You made me see the true value of my stuff and I'm so grateful to you. Keep going with all your hard work. I love your channel and I hope you have a wonderful day.

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you for sharing this! Sending love!

[@Gbabie415SC0]

Me too!!! I've bought a handful more than 2 but my shopping addiction has been pretty much 90% curbed by learning and following along with Hannah's journey. Thank you Hannah!!!!!

[@mirandahazel1703]

@@Gbabie415SC0 I know right! Whenever I think I want to buy something I think "what would Hannah say?" and so far it's worked!

[@Letty4]

This was very vulnerable and you are not alone in these feelings. I have also felt like a princess born into the wrong life. My husband and I always chased earning more and more money. We did so at the expense of living in a city we didn't love and in my case, working too many hours. We decided to move to a place we love and was less financially rewarding for us, but we are happier. We spend more time together and have less stress. I don't buy designer handbags anymore and I'm not Rouge at Sephora. But I live a life I don't need a vacation from. As Americans, we've been told this lie that the pursuit of wealth/stuff/a lavish lifestyle is what is honorable. If you don't have those things, then you've failed. And we're willing to sacrifice our time with loved ones, dream jobs, our mental and physical health to get it. It isn't worth it. Build the life you don't need a vacation from!

[@HannahLouisePoston]

I LOVE THIS STORY! You did it!

[@letitiakingsley775]

Very interesting video. I really enjoyed listening to you. Also I understood how you felt and how you feel now. You have come a long way. I buy t shirts, tops and cardigans from an expensive make because they fit me better and look better. I’m 76 and fit is very important so I buy less but good quality. I buy from a make that makes beautiful clothes for all sizes and they fit beautifully. I can’t afford much so I buy just a few things. Anyway thanks for the video of the no buy year.

[@AngelicaNyqvist]

Never wanted to hug you more in my life! Great video. (ps love ya!)

[@HannahLouisePoston]

I love you toooooo!!!!

[@janeematri9780]

Wow! This was me in 2018. My father died in November 2017. His death made me want to be a better person and find a place of contentment in my life. I stopped spending and paid all of my debt off except my mortgage. I no longer shop like a mad woman and I’m happy having less in my life. You’re an inspiration.

[@calikim11]

I teared up when you spoke of your life being in the purgatory box and you choosing to keep it! I needed to hear this today as I’m struggling with the same fantasy self that sometimes seems more aligned with others’ “life goals” than with what I truly want. Aka trying to keep up with the ppl in my life who aren’t even doing the same line of work or have the same interests etc. I’m going to try moving forward with more intention to live MY real life to its fullest rather than just aid my fantasy life with more stuff that won’t get me anywhere.

[@TheDarlingM]

hi! I'm scrolling through the comments to see if anyone else mentioned that very line. It meant so much to me, Hannah, that I instantly opened up my notes app to capture it and come back to it later. I feel like I've been on this same evolution (although my "choosing" my "lot in life" came a few years ago), and I'm one of the many who can resonate with that fantasy self bit. (also want to echo nearly every other comment I'm finding here, too. I love all theses voices who also love Hannah!

[@linnealarsson2434]

WOW that was awe inspiring. I was tearing up with you. I'm impressed beyond words with what you have accomplished and with the bravery and eloquence you communicated it with us. Truly thank you! ❤

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you Linnea!

[@jr-f2354]

I wasn't sure I wanted to keep watching when I first found your channel because it felt like rampant consumerism, even though you were on a no buy. And watching how that changed and evolved over your no buy year ( less...manufactured?) Watching that was fascinating. I know that might sound harsh, but I don't mean it to be. Watching this video crystallized that, I think. And I love that you made it. To speak so openly about such deeply personal, potentially shameful ways of thinking takes a lot of courage. It's an example that I think we can all learn from and I'm here for it! I love watching your content and now resonate so much more with it.

[@Ooshy]

"It's like my life was in the purgatory box before..." I'm no editor, but I think that sounds like the start of the final sentence of your epic book about this experience.

[@HannahLouisePoston]

:)

[@zusamy20]

I started crying. For sooo long I felt this way. I was telling myself everyday that I was worthless and thats exactly how I felt! Hannah is truly a precious gift! ❤ ⭐

[@SkyNessa321]

@@HannahLouisePoston You may have seen my comment about my interpretation of your smiley face being a non-committal confirmation that you ARE in fact working on a book. I just want to put it out there that 1) I am so here for it. Doesn't matter how long it takes, just take my money and do it! 2) I actually AM an editor so if you're ever looking for one, let's talk!

[@Denise-ki9ii]

@@SkyNessa321 I would also love a book from Hannah, especially on the fantasy/shadow self! And covering real self care rather than the facade of it.

[@heidisth912]

I would buy this book!

[@mayapaya314]

I kind of stumbled on your channel looking for ways to budget or cut back a little and then saw your no buy month and was SHOCKED hoooow could anybody not buy for a whole month!! And then I saw you’ve done that for a whole year?! I thought no way this is just some zen minimalist that just doesn’t have desires! But watching this was a paradigm shift. I found everything you said fits my life to a T. It’s a little scary. I thought all of these habits were good and the mentality that I’m working towards my fantasy self but getting bits and pieces of it was a good thing! Now I’m seeing all of this keeps me stuck and living in a way that’s not in line with the real world ): I’m blown away I didn’t watch this today expecting to come out wanting to change and seeing how mentally and financially unhealthy my habits are.

[@t.anderson6069]

Wow, this video is sort of a masterpiece of self-critical exploration and inquiry. Your willingness to be so honest with yourself is admirable and inspiring. Thank you for this amazing video!

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you so much for your support

[@deborahsalazar5617]

I think you are the first you tuber who dares to dive so deep into the psychological effects and motivations for that sort of addiction. I thank you so much for echoing my own fears and inner nightmare and naming them and making them exist so to become conscious of them and able to tackle them at last. It takes time and a lot of stripping out the shame process but it’s worth it . As I am undergoing this whole process myself I would say I couldn’t do it without the analysis of the why’sand it wasn’t until I understood certain things and behaviors that I was able to start diminishing my own consumption. But I still relate so much to your practical advices and mindset. To sum up all I want to say is an immense and meaningful thank you !

[@OrleidisLozada]

Good Lord girl! I think this vid changed my life!! It was like you were speaking to my soul!! I've never commented before, but I'm so glad I subscribed to your channel! You are actually making such a difference in the way I view life, specially in my current life situation!! Good bless you Hannah!! Lots of love from Mexico!! ♥️🖤💚

[@knitnkitten]

🌼My favourite 'place' is appreciating - not wanting, not buying. Feels great when I'm there. Trying to find path there more often🌿

[@perfumaphilia3246]

I've never heard such a clear, honest, articulate, courageous, emotionally mature analysis on this topic. You've covered so much ground in one video, and every point you make is spot on. I started to cry watching this because I know everything you're saying is true, but I also know I'm not ready to face my inner discontent and deal with my shopping problem the way you have. Thank you for everything you do, Hannah. You've made an invaluable contribution to this discussion.

[@SimplyBeautiful516]

“Living in a place of unfulfilled desire”. 😲 I think I just felt a cosmic shift in the universe.

[@stylenseason]

This is the best no buy year video that I have ever watched. I am on the second year of my no buy year, but for the reasons to stop the flow of stuff into my home and for environmental reason of trying to consume less. I am basically a content and frugal person, a good financial manager and investor, so I do not have a lot of those 'I need to prove myself' brand buying nor impulse buying nor shopping to fill up a void. But I still get A LOT from this video. Especially about the fantasy self. I realize now why I am very well off according to many of my friends but I never 'settle' for what supposedly is my dream home. Because the dream home is my fantasy self is just that. A dream. It is for the super duper rich, and I am in upper middle class. 😂😂😂 Everybody who wants to control their spending and kon mari method with no avail should watch this video. Maybe after that they will realize why they keep decluttering but still have a house full of stuff. Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing. Love from Indonesia.

[@carieyounginsurance]

I used to want Porsche’s and Louis Vuitton 4K bags...this last year I completely changed who I am and what I buy. I downsized my house, got rid of anything I really didn’t need or use and have become extremely frugal. I focus on my future retirement- paid off all my debt and plan to live simply the rest of my life. Everyone is confused but I’m reborn! I have never felt more alive and real...I’m thankful for this transformation. Great video

[@makeuppuzzle]

I don’t know where you get the wisdom and courage to just slice your inner world open and spill it to us, but I am so very grateful for it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you so much for your support, Teresa!

[@gailjacobson9736]

Makeup Puzzle me too

[@christyfielding7498]

As a recovering addict the way you talk about your spending and now your new way of thinking and living feels so familiar. It completely reminds me of my journey from addiction to sobriety.

[@missmollyo3742]

I cant even tell you how badly I needed to watch/hear this from you, for myself. I don't believe you will ever truly know how much "your" no-buy year has helped me and many, many other people I imagine. Thank you Hannah , really.

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you Molly! xoxo!

[@drsallymanderchoi]

This is probably my favorite video from you. I loved seeing your emotional reaction to how this experience has changed you. You are the most intelligent, articulate, and introspective person I have seen in recent memory.

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you Sally! xoxo!

[@joreneereads]

This is so inspirational. I really resonated with the last bit regarding the "fantasy self." I am a person that historically was more content, like you said. I never needed to be any more wealthy than comfortable, I have never been attracted to luxury goods, etc. But I started to try out makeup as an artistic pursuit and one thing led to another, and I found myself getting drawn into that world. I find myself struggling to not aspire toward things I never even used to want. I watched this as I am organizing myself to start a short-term low buy, and I know that it's my mindset more than anything that needs to change. I'm not yet in a fully formed habit of buying things, but I am well on my way there if I don't remember who I am. Thank you for sharing these personal things

[@jeanniemitchell4758]

Hannah, Thank you for the insights. I'm going to start my own no buy year. I'm tired of being broke at the end of the month--living from check to check. Not much to show for it but a lot of STUFF. I'm going to use up all the products I have cluttering my cabinets.

[@jaycreswell7008]

Go girl!

[@elizabethroyerjohnson4992]

Oh man, that last section was so beautiful, and I so, so relate. I feel like I've been just starting to get out of that trap of moody discontentedness, and feeling like there must be something wrong because I wasn't feeling the way I thought my fantasy self would feel. It's so liberating to let go of that, and also so hard to talk about the process, especially with people in my life who are kind of naturally cheerful and even-keeled.

[@Eilianna]

Girl, I am listening to you selfinquiry on the effects of a no-buy year and am literally crying here. So happy for all your discoveries. Funny...I "met" you here online looking for a Victoria Beckham products review and something pushed me to see more of your intent and here I am crying and feeling - how good is it that you have the courage to say all these things and call it all by its real name. I like the most you taking about feeling less stress about imprfections. Resonates a lot with me, with my life, my work, with how I look at my garden, my house, my family...its a big thing. Thank you. You have just inspired me so much. Have a wonderful day!

[@TheDarlingM]

I wonder how many of us could also make videos about How Hannah's No Buy Year Changed My Life. Truly. I know I could. Thank you so so much for sharing your journey with us.

[@cherylbrash]

i just realized this was from 2019. I just happened to run across this and really enjoyed it. I thought it was pandemic related. So more credit to you for having a no buy year pre pandemic. It does make one wonder what delusions we are consuming major amounts of energy attempting to uphold. This could apply to many areas of life, for sure. Thank you for sharing.

[@meredithreesor5888]

Your vulnerability is so powerful and as someone who is overly romantic and has elaborate dreams, this is SO relatable. Even though I'm not someone who fantasizes about luxury items, I think most (or at least many) have an ideal or dream life that they fantasize about. What a healing process to begin to want the life that you already have. Thank you for sharing, seriously this is a gift.

[@bleakaf]

Wow, I find all this stuff so interesting anyway but hearing you talk about your fantasy self and how buying pieces of that dream life was both distracting but also prolonging the agony almost, that really speaks to me. It also potentially sheds light on how my partner feels. I really struggle to get him to open up about his struggles, but he has been renovating a house for our whole relationship and it's a source of great joy and simultaneously great pain for him and consequently me. I feel like it is a roadblock to us starting our life together. I feel like this video might really speak to him in a way I've never been able to, so thank you.

[@sarahsnow5597]

You speak to me. I want what you've achieved, and I'm working on it. Thanks for sharing with all of us. Also, I'm so so happy for you Hannah ❤

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you Sarah! You can do it! It takes a lot of time, it's been almost 20 months since I started my journey.

[@MsSquarebanana]

Self care is often misunderstood. Sometimes self-care means taking care of future you - investing your money, saving, making sound decisions that benefit you in the long run but may be hard to do in the short-term. It took me awhile to see the difference as well.

[@bethanyturpin6841]

I'm planning a low-buy year for 2022 and this video is exactly what I needed to hear. Your thoughts about the fantasy self and loving the actual life you have is so beautiful :)

[@ninadubois2842]

I am here for this. I've been comfort shopping so much and I am now facing the fact that I have a shopping addiction. Today I deleted my apps and when I feel the urge, I will turn to these videos. Thank you, Hannah.

[@julielute]

Once again, I say thank you. Thank you, for being the voice in need to hear. Thank you, for being the voice that scares me at times. Thank you for being the voice that tells me I'm not alone; alone in my shopping struggles. Thank you, for being the voice that tells me I can get out of debt. Yes, this is just a youtube video. But you, dear, Hannah are a breath of fresh air, the world needs to hear

[@veronicag7293]

I know this is old but I just happened across this video from finding you through the collab with Kackie... you have put into words my innermost feelings that have plagued me my whole life. I have been internally moving towards wanting to change my mindset and behaviors and this is pushing me to take it head on in the new year. I have felt so alone in imagining a fantasy self and future my entire life and the utter discontentment that comes with it... I just want to deeply thank you. I know nothing about you but this video, but you are amazing. I’m going to watch all the no buy videos now! This means more to me than I can explain.

[@blackmber]

I admire how much work you put into this process. You didn’t just stop shopping for a year; you tackled a serious habit and faced the root of the problem. Even though I don’t buy makeup or spend money I don’t have, I share those feelings of being disappointed with my life and chasing distractions.

[@colleenheart]

Wow. I am so grateful to discover this video and your channel. This is the most vulnerable and intelligent video I have ever seen on KZbin. Thank you so much for making this video and sharing your experience.

[@Anne-im7wr]

Very insightful. As someone who tends to like some higher end handbags, I buy them second hand and gently used at a price that is more reasonable so I can enjoy a well made bag without blowing my budget.

[@heydreakins]

This is the first video of yours I was able to finish. Only because I am finally ready to make a change. I felt as if you were bragging about being able to abstain, as if it were easy. I will go and watch your other videos and hope you do make one on the "fantasy self". I have hit bottom and cannot soothe myself anymore with things. This ends now. Thank you and KZbin for continuing to show up in my feed. I want more peace and when you spoke of "the wolves at the door" that hit a nerve. I am going to look into therapy. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here.🤗

[@wendyrucker2995]

Hannah, You are doing something that is so important and I hope you know that. Your content is life changing.

[@lynnewillis995]

What an amazing video. I'm 52 and you have opened my eyes today. Thank you so much for your honesty and I wish I had seen this months ago. I'm going to be watching all your videos now! Sometimes You Tube brings you a diamond and you have shone bright today. Xx

[@afifahsiddiqui5839]

I could listen to you for hours. You’re a writer even in the way you talk, and you talk so much sense. I have never found anyone I could relate to so hard, and it is a relief to know that people like us can build the muscle necessary to carry the weight of our strong impulses without succumbing.

[@christinae30]

Thank you for sharing! I am at a totally different place in life: 55yo, single, grown up kid, and, 😅 - don't remember when I used make up (15 years? and it was a little mascara), but I can totally relate to all you said when it comes to behaviour and feelings. Moore or less "shopping in stead of living" . I'm preparing for a no buy period, start with four months and then evaluate, and I will continue to watch your videos! Found them today. As a non-english speaker I would also like to thank you for speaking so clearly, and in a nice pace (and no background music)!!!

[@heidimartin3129]

You inspire me Hannah! I feel like I will be revisiting this video frequently. Would love to see more videos about the destruction of the fantasy self xx

[@pomminnie]

Hannah, I am crying and having a little bit of an overwhelming feeling of gratitude towards what you have shared in this video especially towards the end of it. I’ve felt dissatisfied with who I am and what I do all the time and it led to my chronic depression, even though I know I do have a lovely life. You are such a beautiful human, in and out, and add so much value to my existence. Thank you so so so much. I will give No-Buy another shot. Thank you.

[@pomminnie]

UPDATE: I have completed complete a successful No-Buy in April and since then have been on a No-Buy with Exception Rules. So I have 10 months left and I just watched your March-Check-In where you talked about conviction. I am and I will complete my No-Buy year because it has done so much for me even just in the last two months. I feel so great about my wardrobe, even as my weight swings up and down. I feel like I have so MUCH to work with. I am constantly being reminded that nothing I buy will lead to a meaningful and inherent improvement in my life. That makes me much less distracted by trying to sooth myself endlessly hunting for new beautiful items. What this leads to is me trying to improve my life in other more meaningful ways, like working on my relationship with my husband and doing more creative works that I've always wanted to do. I'm so far from a point where I feel like I'm being my most 'effective self', but I definitely like this 'self' of mine more than the 'self' two months ago. So. THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH. I don't think you will be reading this at 109K subs and 3 years later, but. I will keep updating when I come back to this video for more inspiration and conviction when I feel weak.

[@louisekw3728]

This video is incredible. Hannah your courage to share your true feelings is a gift. Thank you for sharing.

[@astralfoxx]

thank you for sharing & being vulnerable. i'm about to partake in a serious no buy and i'm terrified but i appreciate knowing i can come out of it different and full of gratitude instead of fear of what new things i won't have.

[@user-ry9pz4ui2n]

This is by far the one of most helpful videos I've watched on the topic coping with shopping addiction. Hannah, thank you for your bravery and authenticity. I have been scanning KZbin and reading articles for weeks to help me understand my compulsions around shopping. The depth of your insights has been so very helpful for me and my journey. Thanks again 🦋

[@Shell_Herbs]

Watching this is a genesis for me. Of some realities I've been too afraid to look at, or some cerebral understanding of my emotions. So thank you sweet Hannah. Hearing you put these concepts into words sparked something for me. I have been chasing the "fantasy self" my literal whole life & its a painful run.

[@bettinadorling1942]

You absolutely were ready to film this. Your insight is extraordinary and very valuable.

[@soakupthenoise]

your eyeshadow in this video is beautiful, the way you can't see the red until you close your eyes for a second is so stunning!!

[@AmyLovesMakeup]

I relate so much to buying things your fantasy self would get. It’s hard to balance the treats (which we all deserve every once in a while) and saving/being smart about money. Thank you for sharing as always. I could listen to you all day ❤️

[@mrsrae3388]

What I find fascinating as I watch KZbin “no buy” videos is that the ladies who have purchased nothing,cut way back on purchases etc. still look as beautiful as they did when they were binge buying. I don’t watch ur videos and say “Oh poor thing. She’s wearing old makeup or ragged clothing” . Au contrer!! You look just as beautiful as you did before you started this journey. So Yes the REAL change is on the inside. NOT the outside. Congratulations on your amazing INTERNAL transformation! Sharing your experience with such honesty and vulnerability is helping so many come to grips with their own issues I’m sure. To your viewers you are a real princess not a fantasy because what you are willing to share is real. Carry on! 😊

[@HannahLouisePoston]

ahaha I love this point about how you don't suddenly look like a ragamuffin when you stop buying things!

[@jennmichelle2]

I'm stunned. 😶 I just made purchases that I "needed" this or that, my doing that has actually caused us to not be able to afford a big , important bill. I tried to send things back or cancel them, but it's not enough. And here YOU are! Talking about something I DO need: a no-buy year! I'm going back to watch your other videos. And yes, I'm terrified. Thank you, Hannah

[@heatherlee2967]

Brutally honest and vulnerable and excruciatingly self-aware. Wow. This video felt like therapy. Thank you

[@justanotherartist274]

This video auto-played after another video I was watching and I am so glad it did. I am on the verge of tears listening to you talk about how you used shopping as a coping mechanism to deal with your unresolved fantasy life because I‘ve been doing the same thing. I know it’s been a year since you posted this, but I just wanted to say thank you.

[@JuliaKasdorfMusic]

Your new values resulting from your no by year remind me very much of how my life changed when I quit drinking. when we put aside our addictions we suddenly have an opportunity to look at everything else in our life that we were ignoring as we fed our addictions. It wasn't till I put the plug in the jug for a year that I saw how drinking had permeated my whole life and affected my relationships and my choices. alcohol was a crutch that kept me from growing as a person. It sounds to me like that one no buy year allowed you to grow a lot too. Just like me, your results were profound and unexpected and blew me away.

[@HannahTheWeird]

"it's like my whole life was in the purgatory box before, and now I've decided to keep it." This line just hit me really hard right now. This whole video has been the push I needed to really start a NO BUY year, instead of trying to squeak by with "oh I'll just try to be more thoughtful", but this line really resonated with me, sorta for different reasons. I've struggled a lot with depression and an eating disorder, and I've spent a lot of time feeling like my whole life was in the purgatory box. Like I haven't really decided to get rid of it yet, I have it right now, but I haven't decided to keep it. The feeling of deciding to keep it is so overwhelming and wonderful and kinda scary sometimes but wow you just made me cry ok thank you carry on. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@vand1780]

This talk was amazing. Going through this right now. Your speech was clear and concise. Don’t doubt your talents. Thank you.

[@dianamccarthy2377]

Oh my gosh Hannah you’re seriously an angel. I love you, you’ve put into words my heartfelt desires and I’m so glad that you exist in this world.

[@nickylapiel2675]

Oh Ms. Hannah, I'm watching this 4 yrs after and that part in 30:00 to 33 where you explain about acceptance of the beautiful imperfect life and choked made me tear up. Life is beautiful specifically because it is flawed. Thank you for your videos and journey. ❤

[@miriammoriarty8588]

"My need to fantasize about myself with fancy things": this resonates with me SO MUCH.

[@aimeeauguste6204]

That was some pretty powerful stuff Hannah, a truly insightful perspective on the psychological element of consumer behavior. Awesome content as always x

[@Ms.MD7]

I could so relate to this...I was one of those who would buy expensive skin care and makeup after another. I also had a shopping addiction from working in retail. Then 2 years ago I had a mental breakdown and realized my massive anxiety were caused by clutter. I've been on a minimalist journey since and I don't think I'll ever find that perfection, I'm working more towards stopping the accumulation. I still stocked up on things we use frequently like toilet paper but I only own 1 of many things like moisturizer, toner, etc. I've either donated or sold most of our items and our home feels more like a sanctuary.

[@sarahzucker4092]

I’m 13 minutes into this video and crying. Literally choking back tears. I need to fix this problem I have. Thank you so much for this video. I’ll be watching the full series. Is there a particular video that shares the “how” to do the no-buy year. Like the rules and regs?

[@lisaa9638]

This is the Hannah I signed up for. Thank you for sharing what many of us feel but cannot always express❤️

[@annemarie9980]

Sweet Hannah...how brave you are to take the journey..to face the challenges of change and to admit to the world how you have confronted the darl side of our modern,dissatisfied,materialistic,fantasy fairy tale reality...that permiates our current society. Vulnerable and genuine i n your truth...you are a light for us all. Joy on you and blessings 💝💞🌟

[@Sigillodellavita]

You have changed us, dear sweet friend! ❤

[@HannahLouisePoston]

thank you! You all have changed me, too!

[@francafila19]

Thank you for sharing! I think I get what you are saying: that stripping away of superficial layers, stopping the behaviours that mask the deeper issues. For some people it is forced through a loss of status, or an economic downturn. For others it is a conscious decision to end destructive lifestyle habits. I once heard a therapist talk about drinking (alcohol) and how no one ever lost out through giving it a miss for a while, and what happens is that the 'person comes back'; we come back to ourselves - I think this is true of any substitution behaviour; it deflects our attention from what is too tough for us to deal with. Companies use marketing to play upon that constantly: 'Feeling bad about yourself? Buy this and you'll feel better.' It's all about 'buying into' things, instead of addressing the real issues. Aspirations are translated into status symbols: carrying a bag with a certain logo on it displays one's position in the pecking order, with the inference that you have attained something, but it is a hollow statement, if it's just a purchase and nothing more. No one else can define what success looks like for each one of us. I work for myself too, and I have had a long run of constant work, lasting a good five years until this year. This year, I have had quiet periods, some lasting as long as a week. I was studying as well, and so this helped me get some intense assignments done, but when I finished my course, any hiatus in earning was terrifying, because I have clocked up more debt through studying. Not only has it completely changed my attitude to buying things, it has forced me back on myself. My life was just wholly vested in my work and it came first. It was totally linear and I envisaged an upward financial trajectory. However, these things are rarely instantaneous and are no guarantee of happiness anyway. The process is still ongoing for me and I'm not sure where it will lead. I have fought it, but now I am finally embracing it as a positive and life-changing experience. It is heart-warming to hear your testimony of what the no-buy has worked in your life. You have articulated the kind of illusions and delusions we all have somewhere, colouring our daily existence. It's traumatic to let them all evaporate, revealing the building site beneath; the reality, instead of the architect's simulation, but it's out of all that dust and those raw surfaces that something real and enduring is constructed. xx Wishing you all the best.

[@rebeccablashock3829]

Yes, yes, and, yes! Yes, I loved it! Excellent content and you are wonderful inside and out! Yes, I also have that one credit card (that I don't use-only for emergencies) and just use the debt card. And Yes, the finding comfort in imperfection makes so much sense (esp for those who hold ourselves to high standards. It's okay....) I had to smile when you said that your life was in the purgatory box and you decided to keep it. Perfect summation. Thank you! :D

[@HannahLouisePoston]

I'm so glad that the purgatory box is even a thing, because it's the best way I could possibly describe what happened!

[@rebeccablashock3829]

@@HannahLouisePoston Absolutely!

[@embellishmarin4647]

This is so relevant to my process now. I’m also doing a no buy, and I’m really seeing how much I use stuff to soothe myself. Now I have to sit with my emotions because I’m not buying something to distract from them. I’m super interested to see how this journey goes for you . . . and for me!

[@tessefante]

Hannah, you are a divinely gorgeous soul inside and out. I'm so grateful that I randomly stumbled upon your channel as I obsessively checked for youtube reviews of some clean beauty product I can't even remember now, as so many of us do on autopilot these days. You've inspired me to make 2020 my own no-buy year. I'm so happy you decided to be this vulnerable describing the ways your life and mindset have changed from it. I love the hell out of youtube for the frivolous things of being able to see a shade of concealer before I purchase to the voyeuristic joy of watching Shane Dawson videos. But at the same time, it feeds on that gnawing 'fantasy self' that will perennially be just out of reach, since it is after all the main driver of the billion dollar beauty and fashion industries. Which is why I'm so happy to have found a beauty channel like yours where I not only relate and admire the creator, but found myself in tears after you've spoken straight to my soul. Thank you for your candor, bravery and courage to honor yourself, time, money and your life in this way. We need more people like you in the world. Thanks for shining your light in a way that breaks the mold and inspiring me to do the same 💓💓💓

[@khobson6513]

This really hit a nerve that I really needed to here. A bit of a wake up call that actually helped me break my spiral of purchasing compulsion. Whew...this one was emotional, but thank you for sharing your personal experience to help others of us. talking about failure really got me because I realize I’ve felt that way too.

[@vechnovoblakach9642]

This video is so full of insight. I find myself coming back to it again and again. Thank you so much for making it! It's a real gem 💎

[@courtneyjackson4843]

What a rich amount of content in such a brief snippett of time. I cried. Mostly because I realized I have felt the same feelings, even though I am in a very different place in life than you. It's astonishing how universal this struggle can be. Shopping masked my true feelings for so long that I didn't even know what those feelings were. Behind the wanting and having was a deep sadness for the loss of my "fantasy self". I'm definitely a work in progress but I so appreciate your transparency and artistic delivery. Thank you so much!

[@markstoll6080]

the contentment and acceptance part was so beautiful. thank u

[@hope4sumthinghappy]

I know this is an old video, but everything you so graciously share feels like exactly what I need to hear. I can relate with so much of this story. Thank you for sharing your journey, including the ups and downs. I am inspired and comforted.

[@KathleenLake-q2n]

I just started watching you, most recent videos, and then jumping back. What you are talking about is the process of sobriety. It's also at the core of my life. Thank you for this great, great value and please keep going.

[@ShawnKentHayashiTPDG]

Oh my goodness, I stumbled onto this video never having seen you before and now I am a raving fan of yours Hannah! Your words were profound for me. Thank you for your integrity, courage and willingness to share your truth. I am in awe of you and how clear your voice is. You have a profound book to write about this experience!

[@melikeselinaydin6119]

This was so raw and real, thank you. I don't have the same type of relationship with shopping as you describe, but I think a lot of what you're saying can be applied to other addictions, or escapist behaviors. A lot of us run away from our inner struggles using something. I'm so happy that you actually found the courage to see them. I'm working on similar issues myself. Much love

[@ddryadd]

Saw you on TFD podcast and been listening to your money vids since and I'm so inspired. I can genuinely relate to the whole story. Another posces here, so the delusional part clicked perfectly for me. Did a no buy year in 2017, but I've slipped into old behaviours during 2022, so I think another no buy year is exactly what I need now for 2023. Thank you! Sending my love to you!

[@karenley7356]

Wow Hannah what a truly insightful video. Nothing can buy acceptance and contentment but you did the hard work! Well done. I'm sure there are many many people who will be so grateful for the vulnerability you shared in telling your story.