Harry Potter Makes Zero Sense

[@J-Pow]

Ministry of Magic can't track death eaters, but they'll pounce on the kid doing underage magic.

[@RyvreRandom]

Actually , 🤔 that checks out with reality.

[@lochnessmonster5149]

Harry had a tracker until he turned 17.

[@ApexGale]

except for when they don't (for fear of him being attacked by sirius in book 3) until they do again (when he's *actually* attacked by dementors in book 5). and they try to say the ministry has been compromised but Cornelius Fudge literally tries to get Harry imprisoned during his hearing

[@tehonlyFreeman]

They turn off their bodycams so they cant get caught. Kids are too lame to be naughty like that.

[@lesteryaytrippy7282]

@@ApexGale to be fair, the Ministry of Magic is a metaphor for a corrupted government

[@BadWolf739]

The Ministry of Magic: "We cannot be certain who is a Death Eater and who isn't." The Death Eaters: *all get matching tattoos*

[@stocktonjoans]

at what point do those guys actually eat the death? becasue i missed that bit

[@thegatorhator6822]

@@stocktonjoans they don't so much eat it as they nibble on it. A nice little snack between meals.

[@LegaltTO]

To be fair, only his Inner Circle got the mark but that should've been proof enough. Then again, his Inner Circle were basically all in serious positions of power as well and we all know how fucked the HP government is.

[@VeryPeeved]

i think the idea was that you could be mind controlled into taking on the mark. the imperius curse could bend pretty much anyone to his will, so even actively working for him isn't proof that you're actually a Death Eater, willingly at least. and since under wizarding law you can't be held accountable for things you were magically manipulated into doing, and Voldemort was known for very frequently using all of the Unforgivables, it was astoundingly easy for even moderately subtle death eaters with decent lawyers to get acquitted.

[@An_Average_Idiot]

VeryPeeved ....that has a very very large loophole unless there is just something else that I don't know about. So lets say I get my friend to mind control me into murdering this one guy both of us hates or mug some random guy, does that mean I get a free by even though I technically profit from it so long as my friend isn't discovered as the culprit?

[@Jchmcom]

"But I dont WANT to cure cancer. I want to turn people into dinosaurs!" Dumbledore probably

[@Brim_the_Wizard]

I’m pretty sure the book addressed curing diseases are outside of magical means.

[@ekkoree5464]

@@Brim_the_Wizard which seems completely arbitrary, and is almost definitely possible with some medical knowledge and transfiguration, with maybe some added health-related charms. Or just potions.

[@fantasticnisopta]

I mean, he has the word dumb in his name.

[@harveyflippers9531]

@@ekkoree5464 yeah they straight up have that one potion that regrows bones in perfect anatomical accuracy and integration of musculature.

[@AaronWhiting18]

I don’t want to cure cancer I want to give 10 points to Gryffindor

[@YatuXu]

Geez, this Brennan guy really seems to know a lot about birds

[@senmetwo42]

I bet he could almost go toe to toe with Charlie about Bird Law

[@jdjack519]

Tell that to the Roseate Spoonbill

[@rakionyellowmind2293]

@@jdjack519 Or the greater sage grouse

[@Skyfire-x]

He must know the air speed velocity of an unladed swallow!

[@felwalkr_94]

@@Skyfire-x What do you mean? An African, or a European Swallow??🤔

[@youfoundme7404]

Dumbledore- No one is allowed to go to Dark Forest. Also Hogwarts's detention rule- sends kids inside the Dark Forest at night.

[@reganbrannigan3006]

@@ayamegotayamed2641 Hagrid literally sent Harry and Ron into a nest of giant spiders. Hagrid might be a hero but that man does not have his shit together

[@reganbrannigan3006]

@@ayamegotayamed2641 you said “Hagrid…wouldn’t endanger students as long as they follow his lead”. That’s what I was commenting on, because that man does not do proper health and safety reports

[@Cbd_7ohm]

@@reganbrannigan3006 LOL

[@dr_birb]

@@ayamegotayamed2641 you lost me at the BUT, literally saying "yeah they could die BUT"

[@Rex-ty1eq]

Wait in the chamber of secrets they went in there with the weasleys car not by hagrid or are we talking about another time

[@emeraldgecko5803]

Owls: have to deliver mail House elves: literally slaves

[@aawallace98]

to be fair house elves actually like serving people dobby was an exception mostly7 because of how shit a master the malforys were

[@TOBAPNW_]

​@@aawallace98Just another in the list of a billion things R*wling fucked up about her world. "There are some people who like being owned" is such a twisted thing to put in a book for children. I know it comes from brownies in English folklore and the shoemaker's elves and stuff, but I think in hindsight we can appreciate how formative literature can be to people, even subconsciously.

[@emmettsimon9487]

@@TOBAPNW_ so much clearer that rowling has always been an asshole

[@ELbabotas1]

It's more like their tribal society had certain morals and customs, and when the first mutant humans dubbed 'wizards' made contact... things got weird I imagine after some wars and assimilation, their traditions made it so they, under a honor plead must chose a master Then, their kids follow, and then their kids And that is when slavery may have started They just may need their own state so that their customs don't chain them as they do now Dobby is a weirdo A person that drinks pops and soda on a bowl or plate He is not the ideal, but an outlier(luvudobbs) The elves shouldn't be forced to forfeit their culture, but maybe between humans it can be unpleasant as a person from a farm being thrown on the big city, they will use you against you It's been badly explained, not a 'some like to be owned'(though true, some do, it gives big creepy), but more like, 'some feel like they have to' The problem are rich people that can't respect the elves' culture The Malfoys are an example of using one's cultural differences as a weapon They don't need a little white savior knight to be insensitive and force them out of what they chose to adhere to, they need better laws to protect them as an important magical minority of the wizarding world And, imagine living in a nanite sci fi world, and not protecting your home Most goverment establishments must be 'apparating proof' in most opportunities And a clearance pass for certain cases But enchanted or specially bred owls are a option

[@The_True_Mx_Pink]

​@@ELbabotas1A culture that promotes slavery is a culture that should be changed. There's a mighty fine difference between preserving unique cultural identity and preserving a form of fascism.

[@KGillis]

"You can't apparate on school grounds!" Okay, cool... can I apparate just outside of school grounds and walk a few yards?

[@oliknight2223]

You can also Floo, Portkey, and Vanishing Cabinet on the grounds of Hogwarts. And house elves (y'know, the enslaved people who do all their other menial tasks) can Apparate on the grounds.

[@mutestingray]

Once, I was smoking a cigarette on the edge of my college campus. A guy went out of his way to come up to me to tell me that smoking was banned on campus. So I walked ten yards off campus to finish smoking. Same thing?

[@jellafella6957]

@@mutestingray Same thing outside my job, was stood on the side of the road, and was told to cross the street to finish.

[@nicholascarter9158]

I think it takes like, over an hour to walk from hogwarts to the edge of the grounds. The entire forbidden forest is inside the grounds, and so is the lake.

[@magnetronman298]

Similar to the story of that guy that wanted to cancel some appointment and the secretary told him he would have had to announce it 3 weeks in advance and the guy asks if he can move it back 3 weeks. The secretary says that's possible and then the guy asks if he can cancel. And the secretary goes yeah sure

[@normalhuman9878]

With how absolutely stupid wizards are, you’d think the muggle borns would would be running the place because they’re actually taught real useful things

[@OmegaBlue-gb5bu]

If there wasn't an oppressive caste system they would be.

[@threestrikesmarxman9095]

Only until they're about 11 years old. At least in the US, we don't learn about chemistry or physics until our second or third year of high school and economics and government in our last year of high school. Not sure when they teach that in the UK but I wouldn't be surprised if they were similar.

[@greebj]

scriptwriting is easy when you have a new spell that can make happen whatever you need to happen Q: Why can't muggles ........ A: Obliviate.

[@mcarrowtime7095]

@@threestrikesmarxman9095 that sounds more like you went toa Texas high school, but it could be the same in other parts of the US as well.

[@threestrikesmarxman9095]

@@mcarrowtime7095 California

[@darklorddysart]

The Cerberus Assembly makes a lot more sense now

[@RasmusVJS]

I mean, Hogwarts and the Cerberus Assembly really only have wizards in common. But yes.

[@JonathanMandrake]

I was wondering for a moment why you would bring Critical role into this because I was so entranced at these funny ideas that I forgit Matthew Mercer was in this short😂🤣😂

[@bigbundle3223]

@@RasmusVJS well not really. what Matt describes is what the Cerberus Assembly does.

[@captainkiwi77]

@@RasmusVJS calebs entire backstory is that he went to Cerberus funded hogwarts what are you talking about, Trent is literally evil dumbledoor and the volstrucker are the evil DA. There entire conversation that a real hogwarts would just be the Illuminati directly shows itself in the Cerberus assembly, the people who train mages, being the Illuminati, like did the entire point, of everything you witnessed in the 1 minute clip you just watched, elude you?

[@RasmusVJS]

@@bigbundle3223 Kinda. The fact that there is still a monarchy and other nations means they're not quite there, since wizards in D&D aren't the most powerful beings in they're world, unlike in Harry Potter. Or, at the very least they are more powerful than anything in the world of the muggles.

[@saucevc8353]

Has anyone considered that the killing curse, a painless method of killing that leaves no collateral damage, is "unforgivable," but spells like Bombarda which literally make giant explosions that kill dozens is somehow not?

[@gergelyritter9599]

Techinically this happened in the real world too. If you killed someone, you would get punished, but if you comitted genocide, there was no specific penalty/punishment. You could get lighter punishment for genocide than killing an individual.

[@guythe4288]

Killing Curse is unblockable, while Bombarda, Confringo and Stupefy can be blocked with Shield Charm.

[@Ssohpkcf]

@@guythe4288"Unblockable" except for like the 10 times Harry counters it with Expelliarmus

[@92brunod]

@@guythe4288 That's like banning euthanasia but not shotguns because you can wear a bullet-proof vest but you can't resist an overdose of morphine. Ok, kinda like real life.

[@guythe4288]

@@Ssohpkcf exactly. It's unblockable through regular means, but using counter force at the right time (expelliarmus being effective measure) it's possible to make each spell cancel each other out

[@Jebu911]

Imagine having the power to teleport and your job is the fucking mailman.

[@ImperialFister]

Bro, easiest job in the world, you'd never have to even move

[@Jebu911]

@@ImperialFister Well if its harry potter world you would constantly feel like vomiting so not sure if that's such and easy job. Imagine you have to deliver mail to like 1000 guys a day and its just you projectile vomiting thro london.

[@ImperialFister]

@@Jebu911 Well, that would suck (unless the guy with the vomit fetish gets the job)

[@darklordoftheuniverse7803]

That's what I called karma

[@puretestoster1]

@@darklordoftheuniverse7803 what did the mailman do to deserve this

[@marekcmonster1937]

"OH great, it's that one guy that just teleports to talk in person instead of just writing a letter. God I hate social interaction"

[@killertrr1]

Just troll people with Howlers like Arthur in Fable 3.

[@Mary-Ann_B_Mabaet]

@@killertrr1 What I would do as a Muggleborn in Ravenclaw. LMAO Howler TF out of everyone! ahahaha!

[@genericusername3518]

Write a letter, teleport into their house, hand them the letter, and leave

[@filipwolffs]

​​@@genericusername3518 That does seem like the most logical approach. Letters are useful because they give you the time to carefully figure out what exactly you want to say without having to choose the right words on the spot while somebody is actively listening.

[@84rinne_moo]

Also, imagine to have to keep talking for every little message you wanna say. By this logic, why do we ever text each other? Why not call? Or walk to the person who is in the other room in our own house (admit it, you’ve done it.)

[@babel7408]

This reminds me of the bit in Invincible where Atom Eve is just like "Why tf would I go to school when I can solve world hunger?"

[@burntrosechick]

I loved that. I've never understood why there weren't more canonical teen runaways with powers. Doin the peace corps thing or just helping build houses and wells for people in need. Like sustainable drinking water is important.

[@VVheeli]

Oh now I need a story of some wizard kid ditching school to show it off to the royal family and/or government, and then immediately is drafted into MI6 or some secret higher branch.

[@dianalon12]

Or check out 'So You've Learned To Teleport' by Tom Scott. He explains that a superhero with the ability to teleport could create infinite energy, solve world hunger, conquer space travel, but no, they stick to saving one city, in one country.

[@mikafizz1022]

@@burntrosechick peace corps?

[@jonsimpson6240]

@@dianalon12 really depends on the kind of teleporting. If its portals, that is unquestionably the best, if you can teleport and bring somebody, that is amazingly useful, if you can just teleport with stuff, thats quite helpful, if you can just teleport and arrive naked, thats pretty neat.

[@Jeezes718]

On the subject of owls delivering messages, keep in mind, in book 2 Hagrid was sent to Azkaban, a prison where the inmates are constantly being tortured by dementors literally sucking out their joy and will to live, amd when he is exonerated he says he would have gotten out sooner but the letter delivering his release papers was given to erol, the Weasley owl, the dumbest bird on earth, that kept getting lost. So Hagrid was quite literally being tortured in prison after being proven innocent because they decided to mail that letter using an animal they already knew to be unreliable.

[@John_b123]

At that point it seems purposeful

[@Questerer]

Remember that this owl was send by a 12 year old. (Ron Weasley). Who would trust such an important letter to be send by a 12 year old. Dumbledore would. And Dumbledore is known for his sadistic accidents. In Prisoner of Azkaban, Dumbledore conjured? Christmas crackers. He pulled one with Snape. And the hat of Neville’s grand mother appeared and offered it to Snape who declined. The same hat Neville put on the Bogert that turned into Snape.

[@pricygalaxy185]

Ummmm well the thing is you can’t apperate in and out of Azkaban and on top of that it’s in the middle of the ocean meaning if you teleported there you would be probably killed by the crashing waves because it’s always storming there

[@Jeezes718]

@@pricygalaxy185 have an elf do it, they can apparate to places wizards can't.

[@pricygalaxy185]

@@Jeezes718 people who had elves did do that quite commonly but people didn’t commonly have elves making owls more needed

[@thebobbrom7176]

"Why are we running our civilization on the bylaws of one school!" _Etonian Members of Parliament shifts nervously_

[@arnewengertsmann9111]

To be fair, those boys go to Camebridge or Oxford later.... so they run the civilization on the by laws of three schools. Well one school and two universities technically, but not that much of a difference.^^

[@Eowar]

Paraphrasing a Mage: The Podcast line, "Using magic to change the world is hubris; not using magic to change the world is complicity."

[@temporal_timelord1293]

" we can't show muggles magic they'd use it to solve all their problems " >proceeds to use magic to solve all their problems

[@ruminationstation4200]

My head cannon is that it's because they realized magics main value comes from it's scarcity. They don't want anyone else to have wands because then wizards would have to, ya know, work and stuff. As long as they restrict who is allowed to have a wand, they retain their monopoly on the central source of global power. They didn't go underground out of sympathy or annoyance for witch burnings. Muggles were becoming literate at much higher rates, they were abandoning the Catholic church and embracing science. The wizards were scared muggles would be able to start figuring out what they had (remember: the source of a wands magic isn't the wizard, it's the magical core. So it's possible muggles could function at the same proficiency as untalented wizards, which would be very scary if you're an untalented wizards from a family that hasn't had to hold real employment for generations) It's actually secretly a way to prevent wizards from sharing the secrets of magic even if they wanted to. You can tell muggles whatever you want, the ministry now has permission to come in and zap their memories before they can do anything with that knowledge.

[@s-idney]

@@ruminationstation4200 Rich people keeping caviar a secret so that it's still cool.

[@edocsil1635]

@@ruminationstation4200 just because a muggle can have a wand does not mean they will be able to use magic. Otherwise squibs who are born from magical families would be able to use magic through a wand. The core of the wand isn't the source of magic, though it is a magical core. It just helps to amplify (if the user is compatible with the core) and control the user's magic.

[@zekthan32]

@@edocsil1635 to play devils advocate here. Lets assume that you are correct. Currently, wizards know people who can and cannot use magic via like tracking magical bloodlines and the like. But thats ALL they do because they have no reason to do further research. If the WORLD knew about magic. It would be... Idk 10-20 years tops of extensive scientific research until they figure out the connection between a persons genealogy and their ability to use magic. Or Shit. Maybe we'd figure out wtf magic IS after exstensive studies. It would either A. Rewrite the way we ubderstand physics at a fundemental level opening the opportunity for incredible advancement. Or B. We'd figure out where the energy is coming from and start manipulating it.

[@chandlerbing3636]

@@edocsil1635 according to J. K. Rowling's own canon, Olivander's started selling wands before the wizards existed, although it can be that writers don't know how to maths, considering that both of these things were happened before Christ, so she might just not know that the year system works reverse in "B.C.", but I prefer that Olivander's started selling wands and due to using magical cores, wizards came into existence.

[@cjscanlon0205]

You can do this with Harry Potter all day. It’s like it was the greatest feat of suspension of disbelief of all time. There is a magic spell, that they teach to 11 year old first year students, that can unlock any lock. And yet they just keep putting locks on doors and telling those same 11 year olds “don’t go in there”

[@DiddntFindANameLol]

um actually, I do think Hermione learns that spell on her own outside the actual curriculum. It's still a relatively easy spell though, one would imagine, but I guess that's why it doesn't really come up again after the first book.

[@tigamaki1345]

It’s a plot point in the third. Hermione uses it to break a criminal out of jail.( I know in the movie she blows up the door)

[@SonofSethoitae]

@@DiddntFindANameLol It's in the Standard Book of Spells that ll eleven year olds use at Hogwarts

[@DiddntFindANameLol]

@@tigamaki1345 true true. Not really jail but certainly a stupid thing to not lock properly with magic. Unless you WANT the convicted murderer to run away.

[@Lowekinder]

It just unlocks mechanical locks. The real question is why Dumbledore didn't lock the door to the dangerous Cerberus magically.

[@Suprixia]

Wait till he finds out about filch cleaning the castle by hand when even the students could do it with magic Edit:thanks for all the likes. Also I know about the house elves and that they do a lot of the cleaning but fich does too. In chamber of secrets he is seen trying to get the message off the walls. I don't remember which book it is but he also gets mad at people for bringing mud into the castle because he will have to clean it up. These are just a few examples

[@drfarrin]

Don't forget JK adding in the horrifying fact that before plumbing students would just go in the corridors and then magic it all away.

[@thedrunkengreybeareddwarf8431]

@@drfarrin she is nasty

[@danielled8665]

@@drfarrin I mean, before plumbing that's what aristocrats mostly did too.

[@Andrew-it7fb]

@@danielled8665 wait, aristocrats magic'd away their poo??

[@danielled8665]

@@Andrew-it7fb yup, through the maaaaagic of servaaaaantssss

[@capoeirastronaut]

Apparating next to someone is the ultimate in calling when you could text.

[@RED-sl2le]

Can we add the fact that hormonal teenagers are left almost unsupervised in an immensely large castle with a shit load of very questionable spells?

[@corvus4350]

Ron straight up gets given a date-rape potion.

[@altruism6885]

Fetus Deletus!

[@RealMiniLink]

They have access to a potion that shapeshifts them into other people and animal amalgamations. Creepy Carl down the hall has your hair and he's about to see what you look like naked and Furry Frank is about to have a hell of a time at the next furcon

[@Grygory-fd3kp]

@@RealMiniLink they don't realy "have access". Book with receipt was in the forbidden section of library, which is a can of worms by itself, but still

[@RealMiniLink]

@@Grygory-fd3kp A forbidden section guarded by a single old man and his cat, hogwarts has the worst security for being a highly prestigious school

[@desdenova1]

"You're just allowing the horrors of the world to happen." Causing them, even.

[@seigeengine]

I'd listen to utilitarian maximalists, but the fact they're soapboxing on the internet instead of doing good for the world proves they're hypocrites anyway.

[@demetriam2408]

I mean wasn't the villain of the other thing trying to kill Hitler?

[@callybarbs]

Yea i mean he was the most powerful wizard of his time and spend his mid thirties through mid sixtys watching both world wars happen when at least the second one could have been drastically shortened with a quick pop in pop out and giving hitler a quick swish and flick

[@seigeengine]

@@callybarbs How very imperialist of you.

[@themindfulmoron3790]

​​​@@callybarbs This isn't even the right way to go about it tho, basically every human conflict has been caused by one person or group trying to control others for personal benefit, even a shitload of revolutionary writers were just grifters taking advantage of a new cause. Forget individual wars and dictators, Hitler wasn't the sole or even main catalyst for the nazi ideology, he was mostly just the voice and the charisma. If we're talking about magic users with the powers the HP universe clearly has, world hunger, political strife, classism, other prejudices and bigotries, poor education, miscommunication- all of it could be solved with a little bit of forsight and magical plan hatching, which is made even more glaring since Dumbledore is supposed to be extremely thoughtful and clever. The only real concern is that narcissistic magic users might destroy the world for their own ends before people like Dumbledore had the chance to save it, but that clearly didn't happen in the HP world so what the actual fuck? We have magic THIS powerful and a gifted kid purity-culture school at the center of the world is the best we could do?!

[@fridayy9099]

Dumbledore: I want everyone to understand that I treat every class equally... Also Dumbledore: Ah Harry Potter. Nice glasses. 50 points for Gryffindor!

[@AlfieTank]

Its a joke lol inaccurate but tis a joke😂

[@benzehunteer7411]

@@AlfieTank hate to say this but, it actually is kinda accurate

[@AlfieTank]

@@benzehunteer7411 not really, if you have literally he who shall NOT BE NAMED......after your ass😶 And live for sequels.....50pts is bare minimum 🤷🏿‍♂️😂

[@chickenman7801]

As the headmaster he knows: GriffNdor has style. "For embodiment of the style of his house...and selflessly keeping those raggedy glasses that is a brand trademark... in America." I mean this Bill Gates looking kid blasting Voldemort. He should be sitting at a desk. And he kept them Rafferty aes glasses even though he mad dough, bro. "

[@leemc9943]

Well he did put a three headed dog to sleep, ride a broom while chased by angry keys, and killed quirell/banish voldy. That is worth a trophy for me and that is just in year 1.

[@joshjohnson3938]

It's basically the only school that exists until a competition needs to happen

[@Zac_Frost]

Look up Chekhov's Gun. They werent releveant to the plot, as the other schools were from other countries, had their own governments, etc. And the story itself is centered around just the UK. Kinda obvious if you... ya know... think.

[@alllscination]

It's a story for children. This is how the average child's mind works. Their world is centered around them and they don't think about what doesn't affect them until it does.

[@SamePrice11]

There are plenty of wizarding schools. In the book it says that Lucius and Narcissa were planning on sending Draco to a different school but decided Hogwarts was best because its closer to home

[@velvety2006]

your not gonna tell me the teachers or at least the head master did not have a special teleport room in their living quarters lol

[@omgjlmiub]

Wizards be like “humans have their own problems” excuse me you live on this planet, I’m sure it’ll be your problem when the nuke drops.

[@pencil6711]

A war against wizards would end badly for us because sure anyone dies to a gun or a bomb but they can deflect it and appear behind people using apparate So imagine one wizard teleporting to a nuke shelter and set an explosive on the nuke to detonate the nuke and teleport away

[@massimocole9689]

Given their bafflingly ignorance of most muggle things I'm not sure many of them even know what a nuke is, much less where nuke silos are. And in the series one of the reasons the wizards give to keep secret is just how hopelessly out numbered they are by muggles and how dangerous witch hunts were in the past. And that was before we had airstrikes and machine guns. Also setting off an explosive next to a nuke would just break the nuke, not set it off. Nukes require incredibly careful and uniform compression of the fissile material to activate.

[@Aredel]

@@pencil6711 good sir, it’s infinitely faster to squeeze a trigger than it is to speak an incantation. Daniel Greene made a point of this.

[@TECH097]

"Nukus Protectus uwu"

[@Aredel]

@@TECH097 pretty sure there’s only a handful of wizards in existence who can stop a blast like that.

[@RadioMan2023]

When he said animal cruelty I remembered the scene when the owl hit the window of Ron's house

[@Kingryangarcia]

Harry rare kzbin.infoSZz3MK9p_tE?feature=share

[@slamer4000]

Yeah, but that's not the owner's fault. The bird was just built incorrectly.

[@lyntonfleming]

Yeah, if a kid runs full pelt into a wall, that's on the kid. Not the parent for magically teleporting a cushion in the way. A dumbass bird being a dumbass bird is just a dumbass bird.

[@RadioMan2023]

@@lyntonfleming Birds can't see glass

[@aceric1646]

Same

[@ryankane4984]

“Birds delivering mail is animal abuse” The rats and frogs being turned into goblets: am I joke to you?

[@Potato-km4zg]

They have less value to people. Like stepping into a rat would get you less hate than stepping into a dog.

[@Subscribe_to_me_now]

@@Potato-km4zg so??????

[@Potato-km4zg]

@@Subscribe_to_me_now You can't understand basic words?

[@MrGowose]

@@Potato-km4zg Well that's just sad

[@ooi97]

They don't mind animal cruelty. They don't mind human cruelty for the most part either. That a major theme of the series

[@CashDayYoung]

I wish I had the energy and excitement that these guys have

[@arturo435]

I cackled when Harry said "It's hogwarts, what could be safer? Boy, year 1 you got drafted into the sport where flying metals balls are aimed at the players' heads using bats, got sent to a monster infested forest for detention, a giant three-headed dog was just standing behind a door and year two a giant snake was roaming around attacking people... The fuck, standing on the Gaza strip holding Israel and Palestine flags simultaneously is probably safer.

[@panda4247]

add a rainbow flag to that... still safer.

[@MichaelSnyder1776]

Your gonna give a tik toker a great idea there 😅🇮🇱🇵🇸

[@AlanGresov]

The very first day of school the head master tells everyone, hey don't go to this room unless you wanna die a very painful death. Why the fuck is something that needs that level of protection stored at a school WHERE CHILDREN LEARN MAGIC FOR THE FIRST TIME.

[@RyuuHatake]

The same reason maximum security inmates are held at prisons that have guards who are learning to run a prison for the first time. If you dont open the cage you dont die, simple.

[@MammalianCreature]

@@AlanGresov Little reminder that the forest within walking distance of the school is called The Forest of Death. Giant sentient spiders who were starving lived in that forest and so did Centaurs who weren't all that chill with humans. Giant Squid in their lake, and the merpeople were semi friendly. All around bad place, including the Giant _kill you with a stare_ Death Snake under the school.

[@odoylerules360]

Counterpoint: If you want to apparate somewhere, you have to wear pants. To send a letter by owl, you do not have to wear pants.

[@loveunityandpeace]

Counterpoint to that counterpoint, if im a wizard cant i just swish my wand and suddenly im clothed? Or make an illusion of wearing clothes? Or just stick my head in the fireplace and my head alone will appear in the home of who i want to talk to?

[@odoylerules360]

@@loveunityandpeace Triple counterpoint, it's not just the effort of putting pants on, it's also having to wear them at all. Secondly, what if they don't want to or aren't wearing pants either?

[@inuandkagome4eva]

Counterpoint to all counterpoints... who SAID we had to wear pants while appariting. SHOW ME THE LAW!! OR LET ME BE FREE AND APPARATE EVERYWHERE PANTSLESS!

[@MiniMimots]

Counterpoint you could just send a pigeon. Pigeons are good messager birds

[@thekoifishcoyote8762]

Counterpoint to all counterpoints except the counterpoint to all counterpoints: as written in the Goblet of Fire book, most wizards do not wear pants unless muggles are involved

[@mystdragon8530]

Remember that being good at chess was considered an outlier, because the magic users were not good at strategy.

[@MerkhVision]

Yup. Magic breaks so much of conventional logic that magical society is simply not built on logic the way Muggle society is.

[@NihongoWakannai]

@@MerkhVision it makes no sense though, our modern technology is essentially magic, but we aren't dumber than people of the past.

[@hikki3523]

@@NihongoWakannai Hey, not a harry potter fan. But to be fair, there's a difference between the amazing things that we can do based on research and a lot of testing, and defying the laws of physics and the universe with just a flip and flop of your wand because they learnt that flipping and flopping it with a certain intention worked really well.

[@NihongoWakannai]

@@hikki3523 There isn't really a difference though. I bet you have almost no idea how the devices you are using to communicate with me work. Sure, there are people out there who have proper understanding about the different devices being used for this to happen, but there is no single person who fully understands the entire process required for this to exist and you are likely none of those people. I didn't invent the washing machine, I just bought one, put my clothes into it and pressed some buttons. How is that different from me reading a book and making my clothes wash themselves with that spell that I learned. This is magic to us, and it isn't making us dumb, it doesn't hinder our ability to learn things about the world, in fact it makes our lives easier so we have more time and more capability to learn more about the world.

[@Arsy_]

@@NihongoWakannai you made a great point🤔

[@russelltom2087]

You can teleport, video chat, but you still write a letter, text message.

[@levilevis9032]

"Oh yeah I have this truth serum that would even make Voldemort spill his innermost secrets" "There was NO way to tell if Sirius was speaking the truth so we locked him up for life lol sorry Harry you don't get any loving family."

[@DopamineMax]

He didn't even try to defend himself he just continued laughing when he was caught. why would you use something so extremely difficult to create on this trial?!

[@emilio9790]

@@DopamineMax Because the Potter family were some of the richest people on earth.

[@TheBigJord]

@@emilio9790 why were the potters where so wealthy I feel like I missed it in the books if it was in there

[@flowrebaz6189]

@@TheBigJord the mentions of mounds of gold and silver in Harry’s vault and then he inherits all the black wealth on top of that. It’s easy to see when compared to the weasley’s small pile that Harry is extremely well off

[@sarthakrawat7748]

I mean whole Wizarding ministry was corrupt and full of death eater and his crimes were plumb

[@Nick-kz6dg]

Wizards: "We can teleport across long distances in seconds." Muggles: "Well we can send messages to anywhere in the WORLD in seconds."

[@seigemusic423]

Muggle #1 : hey waht is going on? Muggle #2 : what did you say? Muggle #1 : oh sorry I meant WHAT Muggle #2 : oh I feel you

[@salut1672]

@@seigemusic423 huh???

[@ceebbees12345]

i imagine the same way muggles had telephones in their kitchen to phone people, wizards had chimneys to flu them, so technically wizards already had Skype by comparison. Not to mention patronuses (which are still slow but at least less expensive than buying flu powder). But yeah, the mail system waa pretty insane lol

[@Nick-kz6dg]

​@@ceebbees12345 Communicating via Patronus was a recent invention by Dumbledore and we've only seen it used by the Order. Not to mention the normal spell is difficult on its own. Definitely not a common or easy means of communication.

[@malfaroangel3896]

This is why I feel we need a Harry Potter movies sequel set in the muggles world. It would literally be a clash of magic bs technology. Never like how condescending the wizards were to the muggle world. Bruh Harry and Hermione literally have technology that would trump some of the spells you cast

[@CheezMonsterCrazy]

Dumbledore literally was an incredible political force. When the students formed Dumbledore's Army the ministry damn near took that as a declaration of war.

[@DMDarren]

In all fairness that was mainly due to Fudge suffering from “chronic moron syndrome” and doing everything possible to discredit and undermine Dumbledore

[@theprettygoodgatsby]

😂😂😂

[@casadastraphobia]

@@DMDarren true but irrelevant, he represents the british ministry of magic, one of, if not THE most powerful wizard governments in the world, and Dumbledore's Army was an unsactioned after-school club where kids in a closet sharpened their knives. Its fuckin wild

[@VitaeLibra]

@@casadastraphobia sure but by that logic they already went to a swordplay school so learning more in their free time shouldn't be looked down upon

[@casadastraphobia]

@@VitaeLibra thats true man. Weird stuff

[@wunderlichx]

I'm sure many places would also have anti-apparation wards not just Hogwarts. Also, to apparate you need to be familiar with the location you're apparating to, have to visualize it if I remember correctly. Owls in the Harry Potter universe have the ability to find any person or place. You can send a letter to an address, a certain location, or you can send it to a recipient; the owl will magically know where to go. Maybe wizards could set up a mail system using apparation to deliver things but it would only be useful for fixed addresses registered with the post office and the carriers would have to visit every address on their route first or possibly look at pictures. The floo network is another option for delivering mail, but again it's a restrictive option. It's only good for locations with fireplaces connected to the floo network. Also owls in that universe are apparently magically fast as well. Like the times when the ministry of magic or Dumbledore were sending letters to Harry in response to things that happened only minutes prior.

[@Zac_Frost]

You see, folks like BLM don't think this deep into it. They just rag on it because "they're more creative" (when he and Mercer really aren't. Like, seriously, Matt's DnD homebrew is just Elder Scrolls meets Diablo with very little added). Also, for guys like this, ragging on Rowling is the "in" thing.

[@kfine4907]

Criminals will have a hard time hiding then?

[@theemeraldboars484]

Was gonna make joke about how Owls aren't the slowest bird, but now I'm just consumed by the wholesome image of getting my letters delivered by a far superior nocturnal avian beast... Just imagine the tap, tap at your door... As your acceptance letter is brought by a little kiwi.

[@RailfoxStudios]

I think they meant “slow” as in “stupid”. Owls, despite being symbolic of wisdom, are actually really stupid and run almost entirely on instinct.

[@zarnex_xiii]

that sounds fucking adorable

[@Konpekikaminari]

​@Devil Jay no, no It's slow in the flight speed sense Brennan mentioned them being the slowest bird elsewhere, and said it's due to them being built to be extremely stealthy in air

[@RailfoxStudios]

@@Konpekikaminari Damn, really? Huh. More you know I guess.

[@Ziiphyr]

@@RailfoxStudios Yeah they may be slow relative to flight speed but their feathers are different so you can’t hear them flipping their wings through the air. They will feet other birds out of the nest in the middle of the night with out hearing a thing!

[@mookosh]

"if you don't seek oppressive control, you're just allowing the horrors of the world to happen" - Grindelwald I'm pretty sure.

[@uncletrashero]

lmao underrated quote probably

[@midsizesedan7620]

The idiot in the clip thinks fiction is factual

[@matthewyeldig4608]

As a guy who likes, but is not a super-fan of the wizarding world... That was my favoret part of the mess that was the magical beasts movies! The guy takes one look at the rise of the third riche, and goes: "Noooope! Nope, not having that! Screw you Adolf, you can't become a genocidal dictator if *I'M* already wizard king!"

[@lekhakaananta5864]

Trying to explain this paradox is how Rowling came to write the Grindelwald lore in the first place. Apparently she felt like we really deserved an answer to "if wizards, why nazis?"

[@Relichunters01]

​@@matthewyeldig4608funny thing, its stated in the harry Potter books (specifically deathly hallows) that Grindelwald actually worked WITH the Nazis. So the fantastic beasts movies are a retcon

[@thegeek4576]

Mfs literally could probably solve world hunger but instead they watch teenagers flying on broom

[@WindyREDPanda]

Not to Forget an Invisibility Cloak that could be used for all the wrong reasons like Stealing and Perverted peeking if it wasn't in Harry Possession... Or even Forget that Criminals can hide as Pets and go unnoticed for Decades. And can have Dragons by Whatever Wizard legal means but Magical Shenanigans are a No-No in the real world.

[@rosechuma2006]

You saying "probably" is making me think you didn't actually read the books

[@gorg6151]

NoOOoooOo, but, but, you can’t make food though, that’s what they said in the book though, so you can’t do that actually. But you can, however turn an animal into an inanimate object, for example a golden cup. Seeing as gold is an element, it is possible, through the use of magic, to alter atoms, meaning that you not only should be able to make food, but that configuration is totally impossible. Not to mention a scene where Molly Weasley made cream come out of her wand, and when Hermione says that you can increase the quantity of food. In both of those scenarios, J.K. Rowling breaks her own magic rules.

[@smoshbooz]

@@gorg6151 exactly. There are literally zero excuses

[@TheJackBlank]

@Passive Aggressive it's more of the fact that the cup will turn back eventually, and you can't create food, but you can summon it. Also you shouldn't transfigure objects into food or water or air, since they'll turn back, think about it, you turn a piece of wood into food, it turns to wood in your stomach. Into air? Well you have a right pleasant time of choking on blood after the wood punctures your lungs

[@angelichobi__18]

MoM can’t track a damn death eater but will go feral over a underage child doing magic is crazy

[@tevenpowell8023]

Remember in the second book when the MoM couldn't detect the difference between Harry casting a levitation spell himself, and Dobby casting a levitation spell near him?

[@angelichobi__18]

@@tevenpowell8023 I haven’t read the book in a hot minute but now that you mention it yea that did happen, you’d think being the literal GOVERNMENT for the Wizarding world they be able to tell the difference, sounds a lot like our own government

[@evan-bunch-of-numbers]

​@@tevenpowell8023Sirius Black went to jail for this exact reason

[@SilverDeer57]

theyre not tracking the kid- theyre tracking magic near the kid. So people in wizard families aren't gonna get caught, and dobby's magic got harry wrongfully in trouble.

[@okbutjikook]

Tbf politics in real life are just as fucked up 😂

[@earache8926]

Also why have a court system with a judge and jury and stuff when you having fucking TRUTH POTION?!

[@SurprisinglyDeep]

Lower class/working class British wizard: "A person can muck about with a truth potion and make it more of ah lying potion isntead, what like. Used tah happen lots ah times before Interpool's wizard division put ah stop to it."

[@fredfre8397]

Isn't it the same logic as in court why we don't just hook up everyone to those lie director machines though?

[@massimocole9689]

Lie detector machines are really just stress detector machines, they measure indicators of stress like heart rate and sweating. But working out if a person is stressed because they are lying vs stressed due to some other aspect of the interrogation makes them pretty unreliable at detecting lies.

[@etb6250]

@@fredfre8397 because lie detectors have about 10-20% inaccurate rate (and you can actually train to cheat on during this test), but potion of truth don't have such vulnerabilities

[@phantasosxgames8488]

@@etb6250 they actually have. You can technically make an antidote for the potion.

[@zyaicob]

"Why are we running our civilisation on the bylaws of one school?" Brennan, allow me to introduce you to England and a little school called Eton

[@rouschkavanderplank2396]

Hahaha

[@ladyaira]

Wait i want to know

[@_noctivagus_]

Many people in our government went to a rich private school called Eton

[@alalalala57]

@@_noctivagus_ And we all know Eton runs England.

[@Marewig]

And that it costs around 55k pounds a year to send a kid there. A year. It takes six years to graduate, so that's....330k a year for one student. (I looked it up due to morbid curiosity)

[@vickylikesthis]

other things that make no sense in HP: 1. you're telling me there are no other mothers with love for their children if Voldemort is so easily defeated by that 2. since the prevalence of muggle-born wizards are so high, it makes no sense that the wizarding community is fascinated and unfamiliar by any muggle technology.

[@SonofSethoitae]

@@ajax_watches Pretty sure it's explicitly stated to be Love that protects Harry. There's an entire room in the Department of Mysteries dedicated to the study of Love as a magical force.

[@alexzander7629]

@@SonofSethoitae Yes but Love fueled by sacrifice. Think Love was the barrier, but the sacrifice was the force that composed said barrier

[@SonofSethoitae]

@@alexzander7629 That's a fine theory, but there's nothing in the text that suggests that that's how it works

[@Lowekinder]

@@SonofSethoitae Love is a magical force but its not "love" specifically that protects Harry any more than the hate and sadism needed to cast a good crucio is what causes the pain. Its a force and its a fuel, but Dumbledore is being mostly metaphorical when he tells the 11 year old that his mother's love protects him. Because Harry's still a child (and she didn't have all the details worked out). The love Lilly had for Harry protects him from Voldemort only because she sacrificed her life for him. Because Snape loved her, and asked Voldemort to spare her, giving her sacrifice meaning. The last two books are all about how Harry doesn't have any unique magical super powers that'll let him kill Voldemort, that the Hallows are a distraction and their power pointless. Harry's ability to love and be loved also gives him a support network of people more capable than him that allows him to beat Voldemort. That's the magical "love" Dumbledore refers that allows Harry to win. That's it. Personal power over life and death is in the end has less worth than the ability to love and be loved.

[@VVheeli]

1: yeah that does seem bullshit, but who knows what Lily Potter could’ve done with everything the Potters had. 2: I would say bullshit except A, these are British People with mindsets as modern as 1500s, and B; I could only maybe see Fashion and history influencing wizards, but not tech. Since it’s implied magic shits on electricity and they don’t work together.

[@deanj.9324]

Cinema Sins made a really funny point. They can put mini iceskaters that dance on your birthday cake, but not a spell to stop your house from burning done.

[@VictusUnus]

Lets also not go into the fact that not only are Love Potions completely legal, but are sold in a joke/novelty shop for children.

[@abboud6393]

I mean it was the 90s, stuff like rape by deception or girls raping men, was still treated as a joke then in general.

[@etocadet]

@@abboud6393 no, it never was.

[@abboud6393]

@@etocadet have you like ever seen any comedy movie like at all? Or judt looked up how people reporting such crimes were responded to?

[@etocadet]

@@abboud6393 what you typed did not come across as funny or a joke.

[@abboud6393]

@@etocadet My comment isn't intended to be funny and wasn't meant as a joke. Public attitude towards rape that isn't by violence was honestly quite horrible in the past. A man who complained about a woman raping them would have been humiliated and even today is barely taken serious. Likewise the idea of getting woman drunk and lying to them to sleep of them was a frequently used comedy device.

[@edamitep1533]

The best one was after 3 years of harry having attempted assassination attempts against him magically "fools" the "unfoolable" goblet of fire... He says he didn't do it and doesn't want to participate in death Mario party but they all just go "nope, the magic cup said you have to"

[@swampert564]

Presumably the Goblet has some old magic that prevents people from backing out. Unbreakable Vow type thing maybe. Of course if Harry were less proud he could just enter each task, sit down and say "I'm a 4th year, I am not prepared for this" or something to that extent. I think its a reasonable bet that it would register as him doing the tournament ( admitedly poorly).

[@personzorz]

That's literally the point at which I stopped reading. I never read past that point. They were using an obviously pwned artifact to give them instructions, this made no sense and I was 12

[@swampert564]

@@personzorz Bet your parents were kinda irked they spent 25 bucks on a book that you read the first third of.

[@personzorz]

@@swampert564 They'd have a lot more to be pissed about, I read at least a book a week

[@swampert564]

@@personzorz Thats good, I've never been able to understand people that choose not to take advantage of the untold number of books out there.

[@silversonome5360]

I've actually been rereading Harry Potter as a literature college student to review every detail I've missed from the books. One of the things that irks me the most is how magic is simultaneously under and overused: there's specific spells dedicated to summon flowers or birds, create water, and protect against *very specific* types of creatures (Riddikulus and Expecto Patronum), but the way society and education carry on are extremely mundane, like instead of giving unique assignments for their magical subjects, every single Hogwarts teacher makes the students write fucking essays. Professor Trelawney's class was one of the only ones that were somewhat unique; the classroom felt genuinely magical, because it was "a cross between an attic and a tea shop" with multiple elements related to divination, and because Trelawney's assignments were all completely insane, like charting your future based off your own dream journal, and could never be done in a regular classroom... And guess what? Her class is hated by the main characters and a complete joke in-universe. In synthesis, the Harry Potter universe is not magical enough to justify its own existence, and that makes me mad, because there is some flashes of unique worldbuilding, that get left behind before they can grow and prosper...

[@mene6465]

In synthesis? We’re not writing a paper bro. 🤒

[@Wolfie2467890]

Something tells me it's done like that as it's based on England's school system. Most of thier exams will have an essay, which will be counted as a large part of thier final score. Though take what I say with a pinch of salt, I'm not entirely sure. I might live next to England, but our curriculum and school systems are very different

[@silversonome5360]

@@Wolfie2467890 Is that so? That is actually very enlightening, it explains a lot. Still, it feels kinda weird, doesn't it? "Look kids, the cool magic school has *exactly the same methods of teaching* as your regular, boring school! Ain't that wacky?", like at the very least Rowling should've tried to make things *seem* different...

[@Wolfie2467890]

@@silversonome5360 I agree with you there, I don't want to read about a magical school to only hear that they write only essays, like no thanks

[@Anon-qp3kt]

JK Rowling is a terrible worldbuilder tbh. The school curriculum is outdated and by allowing Slytherin house to continue existing when it's clearly used to foster racism among kids and one of the founder literally founded the house based on racism should have raised a gigantic red flag for hundreds of years but was ignored again and again

[@austinholbrook6356]

When everyone can teleport it's really hard to find anyone at any given point. Thus magic animals that can find anyone at any given point anywhere on earth.

[@Shuizid]

Still has to REACH the person, which is kinda hard if they can teleport all over the place, while the animal might be an owl that's not exactly known for flying across the globe in 20 minutes.

[@k-ai-ne]

You can't, oh i don't know... just teleport to their house, drop off the mail and be done with it within, what, 15 seconds? If they never go home/check their mail, they sure as he'll won't wait for a slow ass bird to 😂

[@donovanjrichards]

How about when Harry was made out to be a liar about Voldemort's return and all that jazz? All the while I was thinking with every re-read, just give the lad some Veritaserum or poke around in his memories. Those two are literally introduced in the previous book

[@abboud6393]

They thought Dumbledore was puppetering Harry. Neither of those two things could be trusted if they suspected that the most powerful wizard in the world could just alter Harry's memory.

[@ethanrogers9627]

@@abboud6393 That's right. And also the Minister for Magic was blatantly in denial about the whole thing. He was a flustered, bumbling fuckwit, a charicature of the modern politician. He denied problems in plain sight and the people believed him. That seems pretty fucking realistic to me.

[@jaimelannister1797]

Veritaserum is a massive plot hole. Like all those death eaters who got away with their crimes by saying they were being mind controlled, why didn't they just use veritaserum

[@BGrimoire]

@@jaimelannister1797 that goes with the ministry being corrupt part. A lot of the Eaters where from influential families and powerful wizards both, so giving them a good spot on government or a out of jail free pass would be more interesting for a government than let resources slip away, unless they could not get away with it in the public eye (which bites them in the ass on the fifth book)

[@BGrimoire]

@@jaimelannister1797 although I do agree that veritaserum is kinda underused as a potential plot point due to convenience

[@Blade.5786]

If I recall correctly, it does say that they use magical paper planes within the Ministry of Magic because the owls literally shat everywhere.

[@IdioticSandwich]

But it's not like they can travel long distances without attracting attention, and it's paper, so something bad can happen

[@hskatkat]

@@IdioticSandwich somehow i think magic could make paper invincible

[@IdioticSandwich]

@@hskatkat But can they fly through rain like owls?

[@AT-il2ej]

​@@IdioticSandwich does it rain indoors?

[@IdioticSandwich]

@@AT-il2ej There was once a spell in someone's room that made it rain, but weren't we talking about trying to communicate with other wizards far away and trying not to attract attention by using owls?

[@DJ_Beetroot]

Imagine how quickly the series would have been over if Harry pulled out the glock

[@lillyolivia9253]

I say this all the time! Lol

[@see4881]

Magical school shooter

[@roetemeteor]

I actually like the headcanon where at first Hogwarts was Secret for the safety of the muggles, and for the safety of them. However, the modern-day secrecy of wizards in today's day and age is not for the safety of but Monday, but to protect the Wizards from the mundane. Essentially mankind has become too dangerous and they have to stay secret otherwise risk death

[@ghurcbghurcb]

Well... Harry Potter is set in the UK, not US

[@howl5071]

@@lumi_project the dude was from the UK and traveled to the us. That was a very apparent reoccurring theme during the whole film dude. The movie literally had to go through and explain the differences in the magical society in America at the time and UK.

[@funandaims]

"Yeah we know part of our school is full of magic racists, that's on purpose one of the founders was a total jackass" EXCUSE ME WHAT???

[@Zac_Frost]

They never outright say every Slytherin is an outright magical racist or evil. Ambition and drive are the big things in that house. Those can be traits of incredibly good people. It's a study of nature vs nurture. When pointed in the right direction, those students could be an incredible asset to the world.

[@Mary-Ann_B_Mabaet]

@@Zac_Frost True but Slytherin left as a Founder when the Other Founders refused to accept only a "better selection" of magicians in the School. So, yes, that house is also known for magic powerplay even if it's not outright said.

[@Zac_Frost]

@@Mary-Ann_B_Mabaet Explain Slytherins like Merlin and Slughorn, then, who recognized all talented witches and wizards regardless of blood status, sex, etc, and just wanted to see others excel and succeed.

[@alllscination]

Like that isn't one of the most realistic parts of the story. ^^ There are racist elements in every society that humanity has built so far. Many historical figures and their followers were racist, sexist etc.

[@SamePrice11]

Sallazar isn't the reason students are muggle-phobic. Muggle-phobka existed centuries before Salazar's grandparents were alive. It's just that Salazar was slytherin and as a result the muggle-phobic students were in slytherin. Its actually better that way. In the gryffindor common room I doubt Hermione got bullied for being a muggle born. And muggle born just should choose to be in a different house than slytherin. Would you rather have 20% of each house be muggle-phobic or 95% of one house be muggle phobic and 1% of the houses combined being muggle phobic.

[@bluehoodie_gamer6867]

In today's episode Brennan and Matt use harry potter to talk about fun things while they accidentally discover the philosophical concept known as the problem of evil

[@heuclmeucl-heucl5351]

I think Brennan was aware of that, being a philosophy major and all.

[@pzalterias5154]

No difference. Bad worldbuilding

[@wolfiewoo3371]

@@pzalterias5154 Agreed

[@JainaSoloB312]

"If he is neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"

[@ansuz5903]

@@JainaSoloB312 I'll be real, God is a poorly written character. Also nice Epicurus quote, big dawg.

[@declanandrewbell]

in book 1, when harry meets Hagrid and asks why the wizards are hidden, he says: "then everyone'd be wanting magic solutions to all their problems" i remember asking myself "why aren't we hearing that story?"

[@jackcook9005]

Because sometimes magic isn't the best solution to your problems. But not everyone is that smart

[@serpentofchaos4637]

Magic isn't ALWAYS the best solution but Harry Potter magic is definitely a solution to so many problems

[@conundrum60690]

@@jackcook9005 can you think of an example Harry Potter magic can’t fix? I can’t lol

[@jackcook9005]

@@conundrum60690 AV sharing. Sure the wizards have moving pictures, but they have yet to configure audio pairing. Also a much more basic example is simply cutting an apple. Now i could use diffendo to try and cut it, but if im an inexperienced wizard it may take me several tries, or i could just pick up an ordinary kitchen knife and cut it manually

[@conundrum60690]

@@jackcook9005 nono I’m not saying do everything with ONLY magic. I’m saying any problem that technology hasn’t solved. Besides one could argue if “muggles” hadn’t already made movies, a magic would have been made that does it. PS: Someone hasn’t seen the fantastic beast movies where cutlery is floating around cooking for her lol….

[@davimelo9181]

The idea that teleportation would make people more inclined to see face to face is what's crazy

[@zoeywyllie1411]

Just imagine the birds being literal meters away from completing the delivery then the wizard just teleports to the other side of the country so it then flies all the way there just for the wizard to teleport back.

[@jamminoutrexan5474]

Pikmin Bloom

[@ChannelOfJoris]

That's a good point, how do they even track the Wizards?

[@Blackthorne369]

I would think by magical signature? Also, the books make allusions that magical owls are uncommonly intelligent. Lastly, I cannot imagine a wizard having so useful a animal and not preparing it with animal friendly Pepper Up potions and other essentials if it’s being sent on a long journey.

[@IdioticSandwich]

They can somehow tell where the wizard will be when delivering a message

[@ChannelOfJoris]

@@IdioticSandwich that sounds like extremely dangerous information to have flapping around.

[@CutestDemon]

Not to mention the HUGE lack of privacy, Ghosts randomly walking through walls, paintings that are alive, not being allowed into your own room because you might be a trick from a polyjuice that isnt even attempted to be prevented :'

[@ved2360]

Oh, just the moving staircase is a health-and-safety hazard. Nevermind, that they have monsters, death traps and stuff locked in the dungeons. Also, for a school that's ostensibly about teaching magic, they really are _bad_ at it. And you can't just use the excuse that magic is an imprecise science or an art to get around it. Because if magic is an art, then they're terribly irresponsible craftsmen.

[@fell5514]

British people don't understand this concept.

[@ved2360]

@@fell5514 If anything, I feel like British humor is driven by making fun of the old regime because Tories and the royalty are still very real features of their cultural life. The entire point of British society is proper decorum juxtaposed with the intimate knowledge that the people running things are completely tasteless morons who are no better than the rest of us. It's very much the style of humor that drives Shaun of the Dead, Doctor Who and Terry Pratchett's books. Rowling, unlike these other satirists, picked up on the form of the parody and satire, but doesn't understand the substance. She built an oppressive society run by pretentious idiots without any taste and played it straight. I feel like Pratchett would take the House system of Hogwarts, but poke fun at it constantly as being a stupid tradition that only persists because it's "proper" even when all evidence shows that it's completely absurd and self-defeating. His protagonist would either eventually subvert the system so badly that it collapses or have to keep up an illusion that it matters even when, in practice, every act they make to compromise with it is just a carefully crafted bit of theater. For example, the Slytherins and Gryffindors would basically freely associate and collaborate against the teachers but only keep up the pretense of competition and mutual hatred by the end of the book simply because it is expected of them by the adults. It's not a rational system, but it's one they have to live with. And by the time they're all adults in positions of power, either in politics or as teachers themselves, the tradition is so meaningless that none of them even see a point in maintaining the Sorting Hat or any of the old Houses. Like a next gen Slytherin just wouldn't see a point in being a dick to the kids like Snape was. Nor would a former Gryffindor headmaster see any point in playing favorites by awarding 1000 points arbitrarily in a dick-measuring contest.

[@fell5514]

This is like the most intelligent and well thought out reply to any comment I've made on this god forsaken website. My gaster is flabbered.@@ved2360

[@deaj8450]

Hogwarts would absolutely be shut down if they didn't have the most powerful political figure in the magical world as the dean for 50 years. Now it has too much clout for health and safety to enforce a fine.

[@eartheclipse8]

"Hogwarts is the Illuminati" I wasn't expecting something so unhinged (yet weirdly true) to come out of Matt's mouth lmao

[@danielcox7629]

Fun fact, that he illuminati was a real mystery cult back in the day. Probably gone now though.

[@reiterhilfe3526]

​@@danielcox7629If I remember correctly, the Illuminati is just a bunch of nerds who didn't like their government

[@calem_son_of_nyx]

no it's not@@danielcox7629

[@Asura465]

​@@danielcox7629 yeah "probably"

[@Suhov]

@@danielcox7629 It wasn't. Just some competitor to freemasons with goal of spreading antichurch and liberal ideas. Wasn't secret until got banned because neither government or church liked them very much.

[@XWhosxYerxBuddyX]

Surprise surprise, Brennan launches with a bird fact 😂

[@brenkrasmer]

"Can't apperate on school grounds" Okay then, but here's a counterpoint: JUST SHOW UP OUTSIDE THE MAIN GATE! If you can't just poof into place on private property, then the nearest public space will do!

[@zirtd9256]

Floo!!!

[@finris1]

That is literally how Snape and the death eaters left Hogwarts at the end of book 6. Just walk past the completely arbitrary boundary line and then they are gone.

[@unbanned6175]

Lmao, cos of splinching. Ron mentions it in the goblet of fire. "Splinching" is when apperation goes wrong and you lose a limb, or maybe die. Kinda like meth, some wizards won't do it once.

[@IdioticSandwich]

hmmm, not only was there a wall, but I think the spells placed to protect and create a dome around the school to prevent intruders from coming in might work. idk, could just be me, but oh wait, what's that? There was even proof that it pretty much existed because it was seen in the Deathly Hallows. Again, I could be wrong In case you did not catch on, the parts where I doubted myself was sarcasm

[@teslaromans1023]

@@unbanned6175 On the other hand they let teenagers do it with the same amount of worry than letting them drive a car, and splinching is easily treatable unless you’re in the middle of nowhere with barely any ressources (one of them splinch during the training in the sixth book). Plus practice makes perfect, so you could perfectly reasonably have trained wizards dedicated to transport mails between hubs with apparating.

[@tobigrantlbart]

"Oh you can't apparate im Hogswarts, so we need owls to bring our mail... everywhere " There is a BUS, which can squeeze between cars, and drive as fast a rocket. Just make a (magical) post office in Hogsmeade and let them drive a car like that. It isn't this hard guys

[@IdioticSandwich]

If you're saying that it's actually that easy to get into Hogwarts, then you've got it wrong. There are already spells that guard the school in a sort of dome like shape that even affects muggles from far away

[@douglasmarshall6949]

There is only one vehicle like that, and maybe only one person knows how to create it, or more likely it was a fluke of magic and they don't know how to recreate it

[@seigeengine]

But why would you do that when you can just send a magic owl?

[@conormurphy4328]

@@seigeengine you’re assuming that regular witches and wizards are skilled enough to create magical owls that can travel very far distances.

[@seigeengine]

@@conormurphy4328 That doesn't actually seem absurd, but you're missing the point. In the HP world, it's clear all birds used for delivery are magical. How else would they be able to deliver mail to the recipient? In the real world birds were used at times to send messages, but they could only travel to locations they were highly familiar with. Traditionally, this was only one location, and they had to be manually carried elsewhere, though methods were developed, though not really used, to have them travel to two or three set locations.

[@lnsflare1]

I mean, the majority of Potterverse wizards are canonically so scatterbrained that basic logic puzzles are considered top tier anti-wizard security measures by the smartest wizard in the world.

[@OOOFSTAR1234]

Fun fact: wizards in Harry potter will willingly give up the part of there brain that learns from trial and error to learn more spells.

[@Grimbur]

I mean, it does make sense, though. Think about it: If you are used to be able to magically alter your world with minimal effort, and that reality get's warped all the time (e.g. the size of things, where stairs lead, what materials can be walked through, etc.) the concept and the rigid rules of logic puzzles might be so far off from your day to day reality that you might have major troubles understanding the reasoning behind it. I imagine a wizard would probably be standing in front of a basic sliding pieces puzzle and go "What do you mean, I'm not allowed to magically put all pieces in the right spot? And the picture is not even moving or talking to me. This is just nuts. Nobody can solve this."

[@koryfredrick1164]

Here's a wild idea; Harry Potter is a decent series of books for children, that doesn't hold up if you wanna examine it under a critical lense. Not saying the books are bad, they can be great fun, but the fact they turned into such a pop culture sensation means lots of people hold them up as some pinnacle of writing, which they're not

[@Grimbur]

@@koryfredrick1164 It being for children (which it isn't, btw, it YA, especially the later ones) isn't a reason to have illogical storytelling or incompetent villains. Especially if it's so easy to solve it. As you said, it's not that the books are bad, or not enjoyable. But it would've been possible to make them better by tweaking very minor points along the way. Nothing more, nothing less.

[@koryfredrick1164]

@@Grimbur I'm not using that as an excuse, I absolutely believe media for children/teenagers can still be smart and consistent, I was just saying "let's not hold HP up as something it's not"

[@emosongsandreadalongs]

This is why I'm so impressed with HP. It's crazy full of plot holes and inconsistencies, but the story is so good that it's still a joy to read. You don't even noticed all that stuff until later because it's so engaging

[@hithedragon7842]

I think of it like a min-maxxed story. All the points went into the plot so it manages to be kinda good while also having very little in terms of characters, themes, and worldbuilding.

[@ActivelyVacant]

The wizard school curriculum is incredibly narrowly structured around nothing but magic related topics. The smartest wizards are all severely uneducated about even the simplest of mundane topics. If one of them was put into a leadership role in the real world, society would fall apart beneath them.

[@spectraltitan3735]

You say that but in reality it wouldn't really matter since what needs to be learnt is based on perspective. You could say that knowing mathematics and science etc. Is being educated but ultimately that's a definition based off the society we live in. However if a society doesn't rely on these things but does heavily rely on magic and the study of its history etc. Then that is their definition of educated.

[@toprak3479]

@Nobody comments are not funny you troglodyte A wizard politician could probably do without knowing the sum of angles in a triangle but yeah things like language, history etc. are needed for sure

[@r3cy]

counterpoint: boris johnson.

[@demiandesu]

Ho-ho-ho. Rulers of the world up until nowadays used to learn mainly Greek and Latin

[@TraaaaaasshBooooaaaatttt]

Im pretty sure they are taught regular shit like math and social studies. But that would be boring in a book about magic for Hermione to say "ayo i gotta get to math class real quick" over "i gotta get to fucking magical creatures class"

[@Elimenator89]

meanwhile real life people in the same room texting each other

[@yellla2787]

But what if you don't want people to listen what you're talking about.

[@guoj1711]

whens the last time u saw people actually texting each other in the same room lol

[@soulessENERGY]

@@guoj1711 my mom won’t stop doing it

[@priscillajimenez27]

I remember doing that a lot 10 yrs ago especially on the city bus. didn't want people to hear our convo lol

[@guydangerus2468]

Nah that's shits a myth or you do it to low key talk shit next to the third guy in the room.

[@FaiTheWizard]

You know what always bugged me about the Potterverse? When they're talking about someone who used a gun to kill people in the newspaper they then go on to explain what a gun is. And that has always bugged me. You're telling me that these people live in 90's Britain and have never heard of a gun, but they know all about trains? Do they not know about British history? Like... the British were the gun lovers before America started doing it. Like damn man look how much they conquered back in the day.

[@Swordsman1425]

Not to mention it really isn't that hard to explain. "Guns make tiny pieces of lead fly so fast through the air that if it hits a person, it punches a hole in them." That bit bothered me even as a kid.

[@hithere5553]

Seriously, guns are a 300+ year old concept. They probably outdate most wizarding traditions.

[@FaiTheWizard]

@@hithere5553 Hell I guarantee that there was at least one fight between muggles and wizards/witches. Probably a collaborative mission in one of Britains many, many conquests. They've definitely seen, used or at least experienced muggle tech. Probably have a few pieces sitting around in a wizard museum somewhere.

[@Gurgio]

And there's funny part - some wizards were fighting in both World Wars

[@GameNerd346]

they, ya know, they gotta explain it to the wizard zoomers who only live in wizard communities and never leave- they never leave their homes- never interacting with normal people

[@marianisrocha]

Exactly!! And I love how these ideas are constantly a part of most fanfics, especially ones where Harry is more morally ambiguous

[@seigeengine]

These are all incredibly dumb ideas representing a failure to grasp the basic details of the series, and also being pro-authoritarian. If you want to be a fascist, slap on a red accessory and stop pretending.

[@garchompenthusiast]

Reminder that Hermione was actively laughed at for WANTING TO END LITERAL SLAVERY

[@matthewevans5486]

The thing is that house elves are visibly repulsed by the idea of freedom and (as shown by the treatment of Dobby by the elves in Hogwarts' kitchen) will actively shun any elf that want's to be free because they see it as the hight of dishonour

[@dreadburnz3522]

I don't remember who it was but someone pretty much told her that elves actually WANT to be slaves because they legitimately like it. If I remember correctly Dobby at some point got a job working for Dumbledore with decent pay and work hours, but Dobby ended up renegotiating for more hours and less pay because it just didn't feel right to him. The idea of idleness in their culture was pretty much worthy of scorn to the elves. I recall someone on youtube making a really good analysis about Hermione's attitude towards elven slavery and how it was supposed to make her look virtuous, except the elves' acceptance and desire for slavery clashes so heavily with that idea that rather than making her look like someone who values justice and equal rights it just made her look like someone incapable of understanding cultural differences.

[@vakama9053]

While it's never explained in canon, the common explanation for that in fandom is that house elves are mutualistic symbiotes who feed off of their master's magic, providing service in return for the nourishment.

[@byronrush9802]

@@vakama9053 makes sense which is why they have unlimited power and can live so damn long

[@TheCreepyLantern]

@@dreadburnz3522 like these are all good points and all the wizards are 100% known for brainwashing, mindcontrol, and using any means necessary to preserve the status quo of them on top. there is no way i'm going to accept "oh this species likes being slaves" at face value. it's FAR more likely the Wizards at somepoint fucked up an entire species so bad "you like cleaning my floor" is now part of their DNA

[@ThatSpecificIndividual]

The ministry of magic is supposed to be this all encompassing secret entity but are stuck in the 1800s and not even a "muggle expert" knows what a rubber ducky is used for.

[@gato23]

they are so secret that they lost themselves.

[@Karak-_-]

Well, it's mostly because not even muggles fully understood purpose of rubber duck, as it's purpose is to serve as mental stimulant for finding errors in instructions for machine performed tasks.

[@conorobrien1025]

I like to think Weasley Sr. got all his information by doing some field research in a pub in Ireland. Just went in there and started asking the real questions like "what's a rubber ducky used for", and the day drunks of Ireland were happy to provide him with answers.

[@gato23]

@@conorobrien1025 I think you mean Glasgow since Hogwarts is Scotland adjacent

[@DreamEnX]

To be fair, the function of a rubber duck is lost on me as well. The "comforting" aspect doesnt do it for me.

[@zo-zu7158]

Matthew's point about Hogwarts being an oppressive political force is like, the entire conflict in Order of the Phoenix, is it not

[@anklemonitor]

Who the fuck cares about anything past Prisoner of Azkaban.

[@jessicainga26]

I just started listening to 5 recently and yeah, it’s true 😅 the minister of magic is actively trying to discredit the principal of a school and a 15 year old boy while turning a blind eye to the second coming of wizard hitler because he is terrified of losing his position of power.

[@aaryon3859]

Yea but reversed seeing as the order only sought to protect people from an invisible threat

[@aaryon3859]

@@anklemonitor halfblood prince was fire

[@adibaafifsuhabintawadud1476]

@@anklemonitor ummm actual fans of the book? who can stand reading long stuff :D?

[@kloppanator]

Umbridge was a self insert.

[@adventureswithaurora]

😭🤣

[@Zac_Frost]

Oh. You wrote the books?

[@MrMoorfrosch]

Cringe

[@Battle_Beard]

Well played, sirs. I must, however, remind you that the worlds slowest bird is a laden European Swallow.

[@Bl4ckF0xFIN]

The slowest bird (by flying speed) is the American woodcock with max 5mph (8kph)

[@andylaw3222]

@@Bl4ckF0xFIN And then, there's the Peregrine Falcon with over 200mph xD But the reason they use Owls is so easy and obvious, they are mystical and silent, unique looking and stuff🦉

[@albertorodriguez3927]

Ur moms a European Swallow. Sorry I had to.

[@dave1411]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

[@semanticsman5192]

The r/wooosh is strong with these comments. I see you BattleBeard. Tis only a scratch.

[@marceloquejinho]

Wizards: these are stairs. Their function is to link a lower and a higher place in the building. If you are in one of these places and need to go to the other one, take the stairs. It works. Also wizards: but what if we enchant the stair so they keep randomly moving

[@Potato-km4zg]

"But hear me out, we make things less convenient"

[@lumi5056]

So that students are actually physically fit by walking 10km every time they change classes while they only have 10 minutes to get there

[@SomeoneMysterious1352]

You see the great professors at Hogwarts had a problem. Their students had short attention spans. Moving stair cases was the solution.

[@benc.3128]

@@lumi5056 ay that’s how boomers got to school

[@JCel]

I mean... They could teleport up- or downstairs

[@ShadowPa1adin]

Reminds me of that scene from the Witcher books where Geralt is at a party with Yen, eating hors-d'oevres with a bunch of other mages, and she points out to him that the most popular and profitable use of teleportation-magic is the getting fresh seafood and rare fruits from where they are initially harvested to the kitchens of wealthy nobles that live thousands of miles away. So yeah, the Brotherhood and Lodge are basically what would happen if the mages and wizards from the Potterverse had brains.

[@moemamadarasz4016]

Yeah and the lodge is exactly what matt is describing about hogwarts being the iluminati. It's inevitable that a group of people with powers that are so superior to the rest of the population create a conspiracy to control the world. But tbh the witcher world building is immaculate

[@Wasserkaktus]

The Witcher World is much more developed and mature than Harry Potter. High Fantasy Worlds are also much easier to work with than a parallel society that somehow exists in our regular World.

[@OsirisLord]

Don't forget that the entire point of the Brotherhood is to get wizards as advisers to every major kingdom in the Continent so that the guys in charge of the Brotherhood can manipulate politics. Which is literally what they are talking about in this video!

[@OnionBun]

@@Wasserkaktus and this was written by someone that had no clue how sword fighting actually worked. Don't let your dreams be dreams.

[@Wasserkaktus]

@@OnionBun The Witcher is a lot more than swordplay.

[@lukestreifel4778]

Brennen, the question was "why were you late today?"

[@gtkng89]

I mean, HP wears glasses for ffs. You tellin me they dont have magical Lasik eye surgery?

[@tanuki_gold634]

Pretty sure the school of tansumation wasnt very widely taught or practiced though, and they only covered the use of transmutation on animals in McG' class during the first book/movie or the Boggart in PoA. (Probably because things can go horribly wrong when used on humans like when Ron tried to turn the ani-morphed Peter Pettigrew AKA "Wormtail" into a teacup and he ended up shrieking in pain until reverted to rat form) There were very few witches and wizards who specialized in Transmutation but it seems like that was only used to take the aspects of select animals.

[@if7723]

@@tanuki_gold634 Oh, like the eyes of an owl maybe.

[@alenasenie6928]

I think this was addressed in the books, basically, they can cure it, the wearer decides if they want to, they can grow bones in a day.

[@tanuki_gold634]

@@alenasenie6928 I know that Lockhart tried to mend Harry's arm post bludger breakage, and I would have to assume that the spell was from the transmutation school, but that obviously went horribly wrong. If you are referring to the use of the bone-growing potion that Harry drank to regrow his missing arm bone, that would fall into more of a potions/alchemy category rather than a transmutation spell.

[@tanuki_gold634]

@@if7723 I bet Lupin's wife Tonks could pull that off. She was a very talented Metamorphmagus who could transfigure select aspects of her physical form with ease.

[@commandercaptain4664]

People arguing about Rowling retconning everything postscript, yet not realizing the deluge of plot holes already in the scriptscript.

[@desired397]

Wasn't there something about the owls having some magical skill at finding the person the letter is addressed to even if you don't have their exact current address? Like you can basically just put their name down and the owl will find them.

[@pumpkin_pants3828]

just cuz you know where someone is doesnt mean you arent a bird who has to fly there first

[@LightKnight96]

But if that’s true, shouldn’t it be easy for the ministry of magic to find all wanted criminals? By that logical anyone could have catched Black by sending him letters and following the owl they send to find him xD

[@IDK_Inc.]

​@@LightKnight96I think there was a way to hide your location even from the owls

[@LightKnight96]

@@IDK_Inc. That would make sense but can you specifically choose which owls can still find you and which can’t? Hedwig was able to find him without problems and in his letters he told Harry to use other owls to send him messages, so it wouldn’t look suspicious 🤔

[@IDK_Inc.]

@@LightKnight96 I know there was a way for the owls to not to find you and there was probably a way to make just some owls find you, but I'm not sure how would that work at all, I will try to check out somewhere

[@StriderStryker]

I hope that everyone agrees that muggles would destroy wizards when in comes to *weapons.*

[@thosemerc3113]

And? Motherfuckers can just brainwash anyone they want. It's not about firepower at all.

[@Mary-Ann_B_Mabaet]

Magitech, here we go. Otherwise, magic can easily disrupt anything of muggle technologies as seen in the first seen of the Movie.

[@Leomatoad]

I like how owls and animal cruelty is the point of concern when house elves, who are on the intelligent of humans, are basically slaves

[@agustinramos7500]

But they actually like being slaves i think

[@Leomatoad]

@@agustinramos7500 i mean, most of them do, but it's not really their nature that makes them want to be slaves, but the historical fact that it's just been that way for centuries

[@lilraffe1020]

@@agustinramos7500All the house elves you see in the franchise are miserable The only happy elf you ever see is Dobby And he was happy bcz he was freed and even sacrificed himself for Harry

[@SquidSqui]

@@lilraffe1020 DON'T REMIND ME ABOUT DOBBY!

[@sskhussaini]

@@SquidSqui Blessed be his name.

[@holyrod2001]

Right here is where Matt begins fleshing out the Cerberus Assembly.

[@doorknob3937]

there could even just be a human wizard mail carrier who apperates right outside the grounds of hogwarts and leaves the mail in a magical bigger-on-the-inside type mail box?!

[@flyingace1234]

I was about to suggest that. Sure, fine, owl for intra-Hogwarts mail but you're telling me they have a whole flock of owls flying to the castle for what has to be 100+ letters and parcels on a weekly basis?

[@kristiankubar2281]

​@flyingace1234 they've literally have a dedicated tower just for the owls at hogwarts so yea its a bunch of letters going inn and out of there

[@rory8182]

@@kristiankubar2281 wait, so it is literally just a giant mailbox, but with owls

[@blumind_web2264]

@@flyingace1234 that’s literally a scene in one of the movies the parents sent all the kids packages and so it’s just a big flock of owls dropping packages on the tables (not even gently they just drop that shit like a B22 dropping a payload)

[@Thobeian]

The mailbox is literally the campus mailroom, that would be great

[@tad-sizedfiddlertoad3925]

this is the most undercover excuse for Brennan to infodump a little about birds and i'm here for it, you go king

[@quizzlybear]

Can we talk about how their love potions are basically a date rape drug being taught in class. Like dafuq?

[@rambhaskar6728]

Love potions aren't taught at schools.

[@koslaulskusthegreat9050]

@@rambhaskar6728 Slughorn teaches his class about love potion I believe

[@meep5667]

Yeah and totally legal for anyone to buy... in a joke shop... cause it's a prank...yeah

[@quizzlybear]

@@rambhaskar6728 Uhm do you not read the books? Yes, they are.

[@tarod3]

Not any potions, the strongest known! So many OP things in half blood prince

[@SophiaAphrodite]

" That's animal cruelty." House elves have entered the chat.

[@h2h1zzz]

we said animal, you are "not" slaves so it's fine

[@ReigoVassal]

Well, house elves isn't an animal. So...

[@Papucs06]

They aren't technically Animals. They want to work. Hermione tried to free them multiple times and it didn't work. She made hats and scarves in the Order of the Phoenix for a long ass Time and Dobby picked them all up. The elves literally didn't clean in the Griffindor tower because Hermione hid the clothes in the trash so the elves accidentally Pick them up.

[@lich109]

​@@ReigoVassalLike Centaurs, House Elves aren't recognised as having sentient rights, so they are technically classed as animals.

[@lich109]

​@@Papucs06The ones at Hogwarts want to work, the others were never given a choice and are made to work whether they want to or not.

[@montecristo1845]

Leave it to a society of wizards and witches, who can literally perform miracles, to tell themselves and the rest of us “This is just the way things are.”

[@suntiger745]

It is very brittish. :P

[@neoqwerty]

@@suntiger745 but not as british as stealing random shit and claiming it's theirs because they put it in glass cases and it's old.

[@suntiger745]

@@neoqwerty To be fair, that is hardly a thing exclusive to the brittish. A lot of the older works in the swedish national museum's collections is war booty from the sack of Prague in 1648, to take just one example.

[@Oddmanoutre]

Witch Hat Atelier does this also, but perhaps better. YMMV.

[@TheWhiteGyrfalcon]

I guess owls delivering mail and knowing where you are just sounds cool to an 8 year old!! Ha books for kids and all. But logic in HP world can be wonky 😊

[@jdonvance]

Brennan's first sentence (right up to the question mark) is THE BEST.

[@angeecelinova7760]

That's just with everything with Harry Potter. I used to love theories and get really deep into the lore when I was younger only to realize that it all doesn't make sense

[@merrymachiavelli2041]

@d a r l i n g J o And apparition is actually quite dangerous. Doing for non-vital reasons would seriously up the wizarding mortality rate, which is probably very high to begin with

[@SmartyPoohBear]

@@merrymachiavelli2041 Reminds me of american horror story coven where (spoiler) zoe accidentally impaled herself on a wrought iron fence from teleportation magic.

[@LnRit02]

@@merrymachiavelli2041 outside of apparition, wizards can still teleport with portkeys that are implied to be safer/without the splinching risk of apparating, and without limit on distance. they worked for groups and those who could not apparate. and there is floo powder, the ability to talk through fireplaces like sirius did in book 3, patronuses, etc. loads of forms of more efficient communication than sending letters by owls of all things. obviously there are still cases where you need written communication but, vaguely magically inclined owls don’t seem like the most intuitive solution for delivering letters lol.

[@thomassmith8788]

“Why are we running our civilisation based on the bylaws of one school” You’ve clearly never heard of Oxford

[@shadowbladeandlightin8889]

I've never heard of oxford tbh

[@Eisenwulf666]

I always thought that's what Harry Potter was meant to be : a satire on life in current Britain, not even very subtle tbh. It has since changed in scope and themes of course.

[@gazelle_diamond9768]

@@Eisenwulf666 I mean.... they literally used Oxford for a lot of Hogwarts locations.

[@prieston]

​@@Eisenwulf666 It kinda was before; when it was on a fairy tail/light fantasy level. But then author decided to turn it into a serious fantasy and started throwing additional important notes like how wizards pooped without modern plumbing.

[@WayStedYou]

@@shadowbladeandlightin8889 How much is the rent for the rock you reside under?

[@arandombard1197]

The funneist thing about Harry Potter is that students bitch about having to go to class and do homework. You're not learning geography or writing an essay on Henry the 8th, you're learning fucking magic that lets you bend space and reality around you at will. We're learning to transform Rats into seemingly any object? Hell yes, I'm coming to class.

[@claysk350]

I mean... in class you are learning chemistry, biology, math, etc. These things are the basis for abilities we've unlocked through science like flight, bombs, telephones, electrical power, etc. You're learning amazing things in school, it's just that it's become mundane because of your personal life experience. And, if you think about it, history let's us experience the past while english is like telepathy. You can read a bunch of lines on paper and not only derive meaning but you can experience emotions like anger, joy, or sadness. You can read a book, even just a fun non serious one, and it can affect your life greatly. I imagine it's the same to folks who grow up in a magic heavy world. It's all around them so they don't see it as very special. That's why Harry is always fascinated and goes on about how magic is amazing and the other students act like his perspective is the weird one.

[@histkontext]

@@claysk350 compare doing math for years before it become usefull, or having very first class of the very first year start with learning levitation - that can not compare :D not to talk about gym class where they start with regularry flying themselves... our gymnastic somersaults or running in circles in school gym... yea - not even close :D

[@giordihero]

@@hahmann as much as I love scientific subjects, there is no comparison to magic subjects in Hogwarts, because most of it is practical stuff that you couldn't do before. The only subject we have that is even close to that in our world is Programming, you learn stuff that you can instantly apply in practical ways, with no restrictions, and the more you learn the more you can do. Once you become an expert you can create useful programs from nothing, and the only thing you need to practice is a computer.

[@100nitrog2]

@@hahmann The only non-magical courses mentioned in the books that I can think of off the top of my head are Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, History of Magic, and Muggle Studies. And four of those classes are electives.

[@ChucksSEADnDEAD]

The books really made the classes seem extremely boring. Which is realistic, magic seems cool to us but to the students they're absolutely fed up especially after the first couple if years. To be fair, if you talked about interesting history facts to someone who had never taken history classes you could make them sound extremely exciting.

[@BatFan_Attic]

The owls also make no fucking sound while flying. Unlike spells. They are perfect for sending a message in secret

[@AshleyoftheSwiftspear-pb8cs]

Wanna know what else is good for sending a message in secret? Just teleporting to their house and telling them. We know damn well owls can and have been intercepted before, commonly enough too.

[@claytoniusdoesthings9598]

The fact that Ron Weasley’s dad, who studied Muggles, had no idea what the intention behind a rubber duck was, it’s safe to assume that most wizards might not know what a gun was. If I remember correctly, as newspaper article in the Prisoner of Azkaban described it simply as “a thing that Muggles use to kill each other”.

[@lachiedryden7445]

I think I remember them saying it’s like a metal wand

[@rbrick3685]

JK Rowling said that the weakest muggle could kill the strongest wizard with a gun. Because wizards, even in the US, barely understand them.

[@lachiedryden7445]

@@rbrick3685 cap they American it’s natural for them

[@peestrem31]

Jk said it was dishonorable for a wizard to use a gun, it also wasn’t their culture

[@iivostroamichevolegmdiquar6859]

@@peestrem31 I would argue that using a gun isn't in the culture or honor of most muggles either. Where I'm from, guns are badly regarded. Why? Not useful for... hunting. My ancestors and their neighbours were almost always at the same socioeconomical level (differences might have appeared but minor and short lived). So self-defense wasn't really important. Meanwhile, hunting was something passed on from generations to remember the old times. A rifle was seen as something honorable. It could also be used in combat theorically so both uaes covered. A gun? As my grandpa (weapon collector and long time hunter) once said: "guns get new tech all of the time. But if ya can't use it in a rifle, it's useless for me". He didn't say guns were useless. But not as honorbale or cultural as a rifle. I think this kind of thing can be applied to most of the world. So even inmuggle culture a gunis seen as a tool (like a screwdiver) so not a thing of honor or culture, while a rifle (or other firearm) might be seen likw a sword, so a weapon of culture and honor.

[@_-_sinexus_-_]

Also: "yeah lets give love potions, which are basically better roofies, to hormonal teenagers and kids"

[@KoeSeer]

And poly juice. Just a snip of your crush hair, let a hooker drink it, and voila! You technically had sex with your crush.

[@_-_sinexus_-_]

@@KoeSeer at least thats somewhat difficult to obtain but yeah you're right hahaha

[@Lyquaria]

@@_-_sinexus_-_ Poly juice seems to be easy to obtain since a bunch of students can easily make it

[@_-_sinexus_-_]

@@Lyquaria yeah but at least it takes like a month to prepare and a pretty gifted/ambitious student (Hermione). Love potion you can literally buy for a few bucks in a *toy store*

[@MollymaukT]

“Please welcome Hogwarts new potion professor. Bill Cosby”

[@lukile3296]

Any Major war happens between "Muggles" Hogwarts: Damn... So anyway...

[@abboud6393]

Nah, Wizards in general got heavily involved in the muggle wars in the past, even though the ministry forbids it. Newt Scamander and his brother for example both fought in the first world war.

[@jaimelannister1797]

@@abboud6393 and yet in Fantastic Beasts 2, Grindelwald is advocating to help prevent WW2, and he's supposed to be the bad guy. So the good guys in that series are trying to stop a guy from preventing the holocaust

[@abboud6393]

@@jaimelannister1797 Grindelwald's goal is to rule over both the magical and muggle world, justifying whatever Atrocities he commits to be for the supposed 'Greater Good'.

[@JesusChrist-sm4bm]

I Mean. I'd like to imegien that Hitler Both KNEW about Wizards and Used Death eater's. But like All secretively. Until it got like Really big. And them are Wizards help America Create the Atomic bomb

[@manjukhatri2339]

@@JesusChrist-sm4bm FYI the earliest predictions for Death Eaters formation was a year after Hitler died with it being much more likely they were formed years later. Also, wizards aren't even close to being advanced enough to making something like the Nuclear bomb which is far more powerful than any spells that they could even imagine (remember most of them were clueless even about telephones and were baffled by their existence).

[@choakid999]

To be fair, wizards act like muggles are literally second class citizens, so I could easily see them JUST letting the horrors happen to muggles

[@velvety2006]

and yet in the meantime they do breed with them otherwise they would have been extinct lol

[@karsten69]

Owls in the Harry Potter universe knows where you are at all times. When Harry writes to Sirius, he doesn't have an address in the start, because Sirius is moving about. But Harry's letters always arrive, so the owls must know... Meaning you can find people who've gone missing by sending them a letter and then following the owl... Or more sinisterly, you can never hide from your stalker, they will write you a letter and they will find you by following the delivery.

[@NUCLEARxREDACTED]

The stalker thing would be down right terrifying in the Harry Potter universe. Given that and the horrific love potions that exist.

[@karsten69]

@@NUCLEARxREDACTEDNot only that. because of Polyjuice potions, you would never know what face your stalker would be wearing, so you would become paranoid to all people you meet in the street. Because of memory charms, you would never feel certain if all of your abuse was real or imagined. Think about what a nervous wreck you would be.

[@tundaja]

@@karsten69 and thats exactly why Harry Potter sucks ass, it's not a living breathing world like many other authors have created, it's a fairy tale told by a toddler that just adds cool stuff on the fly regardles how would that make sense or conflict with other stuff, It only got big because of the movies but even then the character logic is beyond retarded most of the times

[@graveyardshift2100]

HP world might be silly, but it can get dark fast.

[@randomfox12245]

Hedgwig specifically was attacked mid flight at one point because the ministry was trying to hijack Harrys letters. So they resort to methods of communication besides owls for security purposes, but those had drawbacks too.

[@francescosacca6674]

This always made me laugh. Wizards have multiple ways to communicate on distance, yet they are still using the equivalent of a travelling pigeon. And then they feel superior to Muggles, who in the meantime invented cellphones

[@pforgottonsoul]

hell any kind of phone is more efficient.

[@kabhes9040]

The books play in the 90's so not everyone had cellphones or were reliable but even then muggles were better of with pay and house phones.

[@peggedyourdad9560]

Honestly, even the pigeon would've been better since they've functioned as a reliable form of long-distance communication for centuries.

[@mattpace1026]

@@kabhes9040 Okay, even if we do go along with Rowling's retcon of the setting's time period, cell phones were pretty common in the 90s in any first-world country, and my understanding is that England is a first-world country.

[@kabhes9040]

@@mattpace1026 Well not everyone had them and in the reception was abysmal in most parts of the rural area's.

[@Gryphanii]

Friendly reminder that the Ministry of Magic stopped using birds to deliver messages because of the mess and just uses magic to make them paper airplanes that send themselves.

[@MarkusAldawn]

Paper airplanes that max out at like, what, 10 miles an hour? It's a downgrade on the birds

[@liamwhite3522]

@@MarkusAldawn The papers don't require food or upkeep. It's a trade-off.

[@Gryphanii]

@@MarkusAldawn Why would the airplanes have speed restrictions? Magic could nullify the speed restrictions completely. That, or you could just teleport the paper. I guess we'd have to consider the magical barriers of different locations too, and the possibility that they would nullify the airplanes or teleporting paper, which would be why the airplanes are only used within the Ministry. But at the same time, you could send a message by paper airplane to just outside the magical barriers and then have it delivered to the recipient after it got there. Owls are speedy flyers, but I can't find much information on how fast owls tire out while they fly. Both the airplanes and owls would probably also require weather charms to fly since owls are more susceptible to rain than other birds and airplanes are usually made out of parchment. I feel like owls vs other magical means could be a kind of report/paper written by someone in the Harry Potter universe

[@argella1300]

This was just for inter-office memos though. Basically the equivalent of email.

[@Gryphanii]

@@argella1300 That is true, though on the scale of a small city, if not larger, especially if they had room before for owls to fly around

[@austinvanderveer213]

Don't forget that this wizard civilization still lives in a world where cell phones exist, and they have literally no reason to not use them.

[@CactusCowboyDan]

IDK, given the fact that the government can track phones, it was probably sensible to not have them in hogwarts when you are trying to keep the wizard world a secret.

[@immortalstar0138]

I like that the MACUSA dropped carrier birds im general cause they made a mess everywhere and said “Just enchant the papers and have them deliver themselves.”