Hashtags:

[@lynnturman8157]

One morning my dad was taking me & my little brother to school. He swerved to avoid hitting a dog, lost control of the car, and flipped over upside down in a ditch (we were all okay, btw). Seconds later a cop car came screetching up. The cop jumped out & ran over to our car to see if we were okay. My dad stuck his upside down head through the broken window and said "What's the problem, officer?"

[@titatovenoor7415]

Hahahahahahahaha that's just genius😂😂😂

[@sayounara1232]

+Lynn Turman That is hilarious lol your dad is awesome xD

[@alirezazarrineghbal6026]

that was really funny :))))))))))))))))))))))

[@rgayaala3946]

lmaoooooo😂 ur dad must have a great sense of humor seriously

[@melsvideos7321]

That is hilarious😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@SnowyOwl0731]

My Dad would always answer the phone, "County morgue. You stab 'em, we slab 'em." #StopItDad

[@factsabouturmum9250]

+CatherineAnn923 "City Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em."

[@SnowyOwl0731]

+Homini Lupus Haha, good one. :-D

[@Shebeast3]

CatherineAnn923 Genius!

[@marytapia8024]

CatherineAnn923 Joe's pool hall. Eight ball speaking.

[@aleasharickard4255]

You kill em, we chill em

[@annabananag3962]

When airport security started to search my dad, he said, "Sorry sir, I didn't bring my bombs today." That didn't go over well either.

[@Monedula]

:DDDD

[@johnw2026]

Lol!

[@jugg4701]

I’ve always wanted to do that lol

[@roxannegzl]

He's having a ball... Classic Wiggins

[@cujobo]

+Tyrone I bet you're fun at all the parties...

[@appellationsobriquet6205]

His name is Higgins.

[@TheHehe1223]

+Wilson Gozal Thats a little nuts...

[@MrHartApart]

+Appellation Sobriquet the nems Higgins... ..Steve Higgins..

[@CorriganM08]

+Wilson Gozal You mean Higgins?

[@H3lLxxASsasSiN]

everytime my dad goes on a roundabout or goes down steep hill he says "weeeeeeeeee" untill it ends #StopitDad

[@LoveAandK]

+H3lLxxASsasSiN That's actually pretty adorable

[@kuryamtl]

+H3lLxxASsasSiN I do that. And I am 35. I'll never stop!!

[@indilovesdogs]

+JD Gamboa hahaha I make 'screeching tire' sounds every time I make a sharp turn or brake fast.

[@MsVampireRagnarok]

I do that too!! also on curvy streets

[@charocharito89]

Wait. I do that all the time.

[@Denis-89]

I love dads like this. Spontaneus, sense of humour and does whatever he likes without giving a flying fuck what the rest will think.

[@khl1987]

jimmy's soo gonna do all of these to his kids XD

[@Jackert86]

i wanna LIKE this sooo bad

[@0318dweebjoyashley]

I wanna see him read one sent in by his kids

[@annerchisline9641]

+Joy Lim Oh, he will. That's the beauty of having daughters and being on TV . . . they'll be embarrassed no matter what he says down the line.

[@Tyc9909]

khl1987 including the bomb?

[@susiechoi2495]

Whenever we drove passed a field with cows or pigs, my dad would say, "Hey, look! Its your real family!"

[@jaycilangehennig2059]

Folsi Choi i laughed way too loud at this one 😂

[@RH-tv9hk]

😂😂😂

[@Kayjole]

That's my dad too lol

[@katherineknapp4370]

😮😂

[@giles852002]

My dad says I don't have a birth certificate, I have a letter of apology from the condom company. #StopItDad

[@LadyEowyn]

That's tore up.

[@laxuscullen]

@Debra Moore it's not funny it's old and shit like your mom

[@finalgothform]

That was funny when I heard it in the movie "Phat Girls"

[@Bob4282]

I was told something similar. My dad already wanted kids my blood Mother always was disappointed that she has two son's. Her words I never wanted kids & if I did I want girls son I am disappointed. Parents divorce dad re married steps mom ever way much nicer & a better person than blood mom. Life is good.

[@asparagus4life]

Anyone else on a Hashtags marathon 🙋

[@elliec-es8gk]

GuinessThePony Me!!! 🙌

[@Shebeast3]

me!

[@SantiagoSanchez-xz3nl]

Just started it 👌

[@fe5018]

Yup. I'm sick in bed and it's doing a better job making me feel better than the drugs.

[@sgracer27]

Same

[@vincentwilliams2956]

Every time we drove past a cemetery, dad would say "Look, it's the dead center of town!"

[@joshuagallardo3326]

Debbie Meyers Same...every.time.

[@larsonfamilyhouse]

I loled! That one is great!

[@ladyrough96]

There he is

[@MoserTheHoser]

+ladyrough96 best one.

[@marktan651]

+ladyrough96 Hey there. Could you or someone explain that joke? I'm not a native english speaker and I don't get why saying "There he is" at the movies is annoying/funny to some.

[@sssophie9292]

+Mark Tan I'm a native English speaker and I still didn't get it :D ...

[@aislinga3748]

+Mark Tan i think its just that everyone *knows* he's the main character and is fully aware he is on screen

[@marktan651]

Aisling A lmao Now I understand. Thanks!

[@kaleighhohenthaner8428]

When I was younger and coming out of a store I was looking at something as I chatted with my dad and reached for his hand. I got half way through the parking lot and look over and realize I grabbed some strange man's hand. I rip my hand from him embarrassed and look back at the door to see my dad hysterically laughing. Probably could have been abducted and my dad would still be there laughing his ass off.

[@BouPreUWere]

Kaleigh Hohenthaner i can rest in peace now knowing someone else shared my most embarrassing mistake XD

[@advitagelli]

BouPreUWere im convinced we lived the same life lmaooo, except i came out of the movies😭😭

[@dierkersbentleyers8649]

for the testicles tweet "cmon he was havin a BALL" "yeah her dad is NUTS" ...dont think the audience caught that... or maybe it was just me lol

[@MegaCadette55]

lmao I didn't either.thank you

[@JIMANGRYFOOTCOMICS]

dierkers bentleyers Theyre being a dick

[@LadyEowyn]

I think they got the Higgins' part but not Jimmy's.

[@brittanylamote3665]

dierkers bentleyers I caught the ball one but not the nuts one 😂.

[@OldieBones]

I grew up in Alaska. Every time, and I mean EVERY time, it'd snow, my dad would say "Guess what?" ME: "What?" Dad: "It's snowing."

[@jackiechan_wtf4041]

+OldieBones NO SHIT DAD!!!! lol

[@MegaCadette55]

lol

[@emmanemonee]

I live in Alaska!

[@larsonfamilyhouse]

Mine would say “THAT’S WHAT”

[@jiyadutta2480]

That Abercrombie and Fitch one got me hHahahahahahaahaha

[@okaywhatever959]

+Jet Sanchez That's what I was thinking too!!!!

[@TheColorHopeIsBlue]

I was hoping for a photo with that one. That would have been amazing.

[@jiyadutta2480]

+TheColorHopeIsBlue yess lmao

[@jackiechan_wtf4041]

+Jiya Dutta So they actually are shirtless when working at Abercrombie and Fitch? Sorry I don't keep up with trends and whatnot.

[@jiyadutta2480]

***** the models are usually shirtless in the promo pics but the retail workers are not.

[@psor9983]

My friend flew out of the country for the first time... Upon arriving in London customs asked him if he had anything to declare. He said, "Yes, I am honored to be in your great country..." He literally thought that they were asking him to make a verbal declaration.

[@larsonfamilyhouse]

😂

[@RemiVFoliage]

like I'd tell you if I had a bomb haha

[@saucybackport]

+RemiV Foliage airport security are stressed out doughnut processing plants - no wonder they see a psycho in any comedian :P

[@jazzpoet1974]

+Xenial Xerus Once, while taking a Greyhound from Toronto to Boston, the U.S. border cop with his 9mm on his hip, and who was going through my stuff asked me how much cash I was carrying. When I told him none, he barked back at me: "None!? How do you expect to support yourself in my country, if you don't have any cash!?" "Have you ever heard of an ATM, there, Mr. Congeniality?" I replied. ... if the other border cop didn't bust up laughing, I probably would've been shot on site.

[@shayjay1638]

+jazzpoet1974 lol you a boss😎. I hope you said it with a dead serious face.

[@secretninja247]

+RemiV Foliage To be fair, he has a point :P

[@user-xm6cl4jz5o]

Reminds me of deleted scenes from Friends where Chandler reads a sign saying security will be called if you are joking about about bombs. Then he goes "no bomb jokes? Shouldn't you be after the guy with the bombs, not the guy who jokes about his bombs... In fact, if I had bombs, I'd keep that rather quiet... not that I have bombs". Anyway he and Monica were detained and their luggage was searched hahaha.

[@nbcastano]

Can't believe he read my tweet!

[@myrest3334]

which one was yours?

[@nbcastano]

+Myrest The very last one

[@SabrinaDA79]

Ahahahaha did your dad got that job at A&F? 😂

[@nbcastano]

+SabrinaDA79 lmfao luckily the guy was a good sport and laughed.

[@GuiiBrazil]

+Nicholas Castano have your minute of fame. Enjoy.

[@OpenMind3000]

I just watched 10 Episodes of this in a row. This one was the funniest :D

[@masterimbecile]

No sh!t. its all dad jokes

[@iKavix]

My dad went to the store 5 years ago for a prank and hasn't come back #StopitDad Please please stop

[@namelastname7330]

Your gonna have a lot of groceries when he comes back.

[@MariamDawa]

sounds like an answer for YIAY ( no one will get what i mean but whatever 😂)

[@vastikaladelbarrio]

+Mary Samir I got it! 🙋

[@saucybackport]

+iKavix dark, but works better than i expected when i started reading it :P

[@Princess4fh]

+iKavix I'm sorry

[@daynamorris2399]

My dad says, "How have you bean?" Whenever he sees beans. It never gets funnier

[@MegaCadette55]

hahahah that's actually funny

[@simplechicful]

Dayna Morris hehe that's cute.

[@Missjmakescontent]

whenever we drove over a state line on a road trip, my dad would slam on the breaks. After I recover from smacking my face against the seat in front of me he'd say "sorry, I tripped over the line."

[@liz5034]

After each preview at the movie theater, my dad stands up and says, "that was a good movie. A little short." #stopitdad

[@LeelooRedRed]

That’s brilliant )

[@haileyanmariestrauss1999]

It's true, though. Who walks into a place with a bomb and just willingly tells another person about just because they asked? Rather than ask, why don't they just check? They send the bags through a scanner, anyway, and make you step through a detector? I mean come on! Realistically no bomb smuggler is going to divulge that information just because someone asks them if they're carrying one.

[@Steve27775]

+Hailey Anmarie Straus Yeah, it's kinda dumb. "Well, yeah, I do. Damnit, you got me. I was hoping you wouldn't ask."

[@laseede17]

+Hailey Anmarie Straus They have to because the person can claim they didn't know bombs weren't allowed.

[@haileyanmariestrauss1999]

Honestly, who could claim such a thing? It seems pretty obvious to me that something like bombs and weapons wouldn't be allowed on an aircraft.

[@laseede17]

Hailey Anmarie Straus Justice doesn't care what's obvious and what's not. It cares about what you can prove. And you can't prove that a guy is an idiot and doesn't know that bombs aren't allowed in planes if you don't specifically warn people about that. For the same reason, one of the questions to get an USA VISA is "Are you a terrorist?"

[@haileyanmariestrauss1999]

I suppose there are people who would try thinking that they are above every one else who tried and that they have a full proof plan that can't fail in smuggling such things. And I suppose that those people when caught would just try to play it up like they serriously didn't know. But still, if they answer that they don't have said object on them (as I asume they would when asked, as they don't want to get caught) then how can they hope to get off with a simple "Oh! How'd that get there?" or "Oh yeah - that!" Personally, I still feel that it seems a lit redundant to ask. However, I do understand that they don't necessarilly choose the questions they ask, and they are just doing their jobs - cudos to them. I just think it's an odd question, is all. But perhaps there are more instances when innocent folks are made to carry said bombs and the question is asked so such people have an out - this way the authorities know it was not their choice to do such a thing.

[@mistylee717]

My dad would call boobs "chesticles".

[@pinkporcelain4352]

Lol XD

[@Vanessa-kn8we]

😂😂😂

[@jfulkerson13]

oh my god how have i not heard/thought of this...

[@ch33syp00fs]

that's hysterical! Can't believe I have never heard that before.

[@victoriareed4280]

Sweetpea Chickpesyop ,,

[@Kilanna]

I told my dad that he's starting to show white in his eyebrows and he said, "Well I guess I just have a Chrome Browser". #stopitdad

[@kaino5030]

You have to write it on Twitter 🙄

[@TheUnbrokenGamer]

+Laurits games it's to late know so people show them her

[@calebpeterson3117]

+Kilanna Your dad should never stop that's epic!

[@nikgarus3709]

+Kilanna Is Chrome the new IE, or am I missing something?

[@elimakesdo7025]

+Nik Garus Chrome (the metal) is silvery

[@jamiegreig9699]

My friends dad walked into a bank to deposit some cash once. While the teller was counting his money, which was all in 50's, he said "I bet you can't guess which bill is the fake one." Teller made us wait until they checked every bill.

[@VickysStuff]

These dads are awesome! Be thankful you had an awesome, funny dad.

[@jordanchau3914]

When the star appears, "There he is" When the star leaves the scene "There he goes"😂😂

[@lizwiley7053]

Cosmic Sans I don't understand it 😔

[@mahiitistic7399]

I didnt get the joke?

[@huggledemon32]

Thank god I’m not the only one who doesn’t get this one!🤷‍♀️🤔😔🙄

[@mackavelly]

wtf how don't u get it????? when the star steps into the camera, the dad goes: there he is! but the funny thing is the annoyance would reach a new high if he went "there he goes" every time he exits a scene. that would be comically annoying. i hope you understand this immensly simple joke now

[@AleezaTBrown]

Every time I call my dad he answers singing "Hello" by Adele... #StopItDad

[@Trippp96]

im stealing all of these #dadjokes

[@philchao]

+John Haggenmiller III they were probably all made up or stolen in the first place.

[@BlimpMcGee]

+John Haggenmiller Yeah me too

[@mkay3005]

You need a life

[@laurahamilton8868]

When I read the "there he is!" tweet I read it much more enthusiastically than jimmy said it...anyone else?

[@amiekitzman3652]

Every time I'm in the car with my dad and he has to go in reverse he says, "Ahhh this brings me back." #stopitdad

[@LiamAllen217]

I'm stealing this

[@dhersh1386]

Me too

[@stephanielitton2929]

I LOVE this!!!! Please give him a big hug from a stranger in Texas who is missing her own Dad right now! ♥

[@WendyBanner]

For 11 years, my husband has done the hay "hey" joke. Every single time...eleven years...I think I'm the one showing the commitment. Haha!

[@umchileanywaysso]

Lmaoooo

[@RH-tv9hk]

On road trips, my Dad would say "Oh look at the sheep!" and go on about them ---- but they were actually cows. He'd do it the other way around, too. I would play along until I ached from laughing. It drove my mother absolutely nuts, which of course made it funnier

[@juliaaa1111]

"Like I'd tell you if I had a bomb" lmfao oh my god

[@PricefieldPunk]

Airport security asking if you have a bomb is really stupid. Has any terrorist been caught accidentally saying "yes" and then immediately go "AHH SHIT!"

[@cjhs2006]

That’d be Amazingly Awesome,&,Amazingly Hilarious

[@wizardsuth]

If you're at the airport and want to tell someone you have a Bill of Materials, don't use the acronym.

[@sarahberkner]

Maybe they're good at being able to catch liars? Or maybe I've just watched the show Lie To Me too much.

[@steve16850]

Before I learned to read I’d ask, my dad, what does this say? My dad would respond, “It doesn’t say anything, you have to read it”. #stopitdad

[@emilyfitz6740]

Jimmy you should do more hashtag videos they are so funny

[@alisheikh9975]

Absolutely.

[@SunflowerSunflower101]

My dad loved getting on the pirate ship ride with me at the fair & with each bigger swing would act as if he was going to hurl on the people below. At first everybody would be laughing & screaming, but as the swings got bigger the whole pirate ship became totally silent fixated on my dad & terrified. When the ride stopped & everybody was sighing in relief, my dad would laugh hilariously & yell "PSYCHE!". At first as a young teen I was mortally embarrassed. Then it became a yearly tradition at the fair! And a treasured memory! His theatrical excellence & dry wit was & forever will be BAR NONE! I miss you Dad!

[@KH-tx6lg]

Ever since my husband saw Galaxy Quest he always says "I see you managed to get your shirt off" every time a star appears shirtless 🤣

[@jakobmorrissette4538]

Haha I'm gonna use that from now on. Love that movie

[@levijackalope561]

everytime we pass a graveyard my dad says, " Hey look, everyones dying to get in there!" 😐

[@biancacruz7203]

Dad: Hey can I have a cheese burger with no cheese actually. Worker: So a hamburger? Dad: No just a cheeseburger without the cheese. The mcdonalds worker was so confused and didn't know how to but down the order

[@matotry]

My dad at church knew I didn't have any friends so when he would be talking with his friends he'd call me over and give me $5 and say "go get something for you and your friends," and just before he give me the money says "oh wait! You don't have any! Go give this to your sister then." I got him back by randomly walking up to him in front of a group of people and rub his belly then say "I heard if you rub a buddha's belly you get good luck."

[@guacamollie3250]

At a sleepover, my friends asked, "Is your dad awake?" We heard a fart and my mom said, "yep."

[@Lexiii12345-b]

My dad always tucks his shirt into his pajama pants #StopItDad !!

[@ianking2522]

Best one yet!

[@elishaduggan997]

Ikr me too

[@LiveAKing1]

+Pale King Yep! haha Hilarious.

[@RebeccaEvans1]

"Like I'd tell you if I had a bomb" hahaha poor Dad! Just trying to joke on serious matters

[@gkeller1031]

When I was little, whenever I'd go somewhere with my parents where we needed to buy tickets, my dad would go up to the cashier and say "I'd like 2 larges and 1 small." #StopItDad

[@BaconWrappedCupcake]

My Dad refuses to admit he's getting grey hair. He just says "It's bleached by the sun." #StopItDad

[@iamPixelMan]

Haha my dad says "it's chrome"

[@michellevictor6395]

SAME

[@krustomer]

Whenever my dad drove us to the bus stop, after we got out of the car he would yell in front of everyone, "HAVE FUN STORMING THE CASTLE!" This occurred every day for about a decade.

[@eawoodard]

Princess Bride reference for the win!

[@p.z.arnott2329]

I'm gonna use that someday

[@lucindabean1646]

THIS is my FAVORITE😍

[@Seetiyan]

I am definitely gonna try the toilet paper in the fitting room one. Ha!

[@TheSingingsisters101]

These hashtags are everything good in life. They are my favorite.

[@friendlyneighbourhoodbridg1354]

When at the White House in the 80s, my dad made a joke about having left his guns in the car. My mum yelled at him a LOT after that

[@secretninja247]

When I was younger my dad would sometimes start to fall asleep while watching TV. I asked if I could change channel cause he wasn't watching it, and he would say no, he's just 'resting his eyes'. :P #StopItDad

[@77roushie]

My dad always had names for all of my teachers in Elementary School...Kindergarten-6th grade are as follows: Kindergarten: Mrs. LaSonnyBono (actual name: Mrs. LaBono) 1st grade: Mrs. Stein-burger with cheese (actual name: Mrs. Steinberg) 2nd grade: Mrs. Covered Wagon Train (actual name: Mrs. Coltrane) 3rd grade: Mrs. Ear of Corn (actual name: Mrs. Eichorn) 4th grade: Major Nelson (actual name: Mrs. Nelson) 5th grade: Mrs. Pickled herring (actual name: Mrs. Herring) 6th grade: Mrs. Chunk of Wood (actual name: Mrs. Wood) I think once I hit middle school, he gave up because I had too many teachers! He still does this with just about everyone he meets (I think it might actually help him remember names). If he calls you by your actual name, that means he doesn't like you! Lol! Love you Pop!

[@twizack22]

+77roushie I called my daughters second grade teacher Ms Half-Ton (actual name Ms. Kipp) irony she was a thin hottie.

[@Cambarone3382]

twizack22 wow pops chill out

[@abbydavenport4595]

My dad did that too!

[@sheilaaed]

"Like I'd tell you if I had a bomb" hahahahahahahah

[@sarahberkner]

My whole family tells dad jokes. But one of my dad's is when we're hiking as a family and come across a bench he'll say "Look, a wild bench!"

[@Colourofemily]

One time when we were in the McDonald's drive through, my dad asked the person taking the orders "what's the difference between medium and large?" He then laughed all the way home.

[@VanillaCupcakes13]

+RawrEmily2021 but why?

[@thockinity]

+VanillaCupcakes13 i dont get it either...

[@easyaluver]

+VanillaCupcakes13 I think that when you ask the cashiers, they show you what a medium and a large cup look like so you can choose, but he was in a drive through, so they can't show you cause you're talking to that screen thing.

[@thockinity]

easyaluver uh... i thought it would be funnier...

[@MelBalcazar3]

Sounds like a legit question though, they could just tell you the ounces.

[@WadeWilson-]

my dad always asks for a pizza when he arrives at mcdonalds.

[@PO3nGilmoreGirls]

Whenever I ask dad, “Where’s mom?” whenever I can’t find her, he’ll say, “I think I left her in here.” and try and search for her in his pockets. I just walk away. #StopItDad

[@ummmidunno8308]

There he is... I still say this whenever I see a movie! That's the best line ever!

[@missccarr89]

He should've kept that up through the movie "there he is... there he is...there he is." Hilarious.

[@jessicajayes8326]

Whenever me and my sister looked bored in church or other crowded places, my dad would do the "disappearing coin trick".

[@hopethehopeful]

Every time my dad would drive and we would see police, he would slouch down in his seat, grip the steering wheel crazily, and say “you’ll never take me alive, coppers”. My friends never knew if he was kidding or not lol I love my dad.

[@scott4170]

I still can't stop giggling at the thought of thomashoneyman's dad saying "Hey!" and laughing 920 times.

[@littlemissmello]

My dad has a million of these. For instance whenever someone says "Oh my God" or "Jesus" in frustration he responds with "what can I do for you?" Or when you go to the toilet you often sort of announce it with a "hey, I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick" and he'll stop you with a "oh, no, wait!" and you're forced to stop, already knowing what is coming and then he says, with a glint in his eyes "how about you go to the bathroom?" and I'll sigh and say #stopitdad

[@milliecat2020]

While driving, my Dad used to honk the horn and wave at random drivers, just to see who would wave back at him. #stopitdad

[@lucindabean1646]

Mine would just honk & wave randomly in the middle of nowhere and say “OH! Did you see that tree waving at us?” 🙄

[@TrixHP]

My ex does that lol

[@Eternaldarkness3166]

It's funny when they give you the finger lol

[@matthewwasson2906]

"Like I'd tell you if I had a bomb." Best answer ever to that question. XD

[@izzymarie8987]

I went on "it's a small world" at Disney world with my dad. The second the boat started moving he shouted "nope I want off!"

[@stephanielitton2929]

"You know how many dead people are in that cemetery right there ? " No Dad...please!" "ALL OF THEM!" #StopItDad

[@AnnoyingMoose]

It's the Dead Centre of town! People are just dying to get in there!

[@sarahberkner]

That's like the joke, "You know who I saw today? Everyone I looked at."

[@stephanielitton2929]

@@sarahberkner That's a good one! 😂

[@Thars36]

The "There he is" just killed me

[@Ramblingroundys]

I love being a dad, and I'd probably done half of these :) And yes, I've done the dressing room using "I need a plunger in here" line. Really gets them confused and makes the kid laugh.

[@danamaste119]

They have shirtless greeters at Abercrombie and Fitch? Time to go shopping! 💪🏽👕👖

[@alexisalonso7714]

“Like I’d tell you if I had a bomb” 😂 Yeah, that’s the winner right there

[@emic138]

so sweet. love these!

[@Waverer]

on my birthday, my dad sent me an e-mail with a video tutorial "how to put on a condom" captioned: so we won't need to have that weird talk. I was 18.

[@zachyeah13]

My parents let public school family life classes cover that one. Thank God they did. I would hate if it ended up like that guy on Duck Dynasty who said his father gave him the birds and bees speech after he already had 2 kids. He was like, " yea dad thanks, I figured it out already."

[@kirankumbhar8605]

Jimmy is so cute with his cute laugh

[@annag886]

My name is Anna, so my dad always called be Ann Bolen as a nickname "because she was a princess or something." Except Ann Bolen got her head chopped off. thanks dad

[@avakellyy]

Anna G Hufflepuff? Imma Hufflepuff! 😄

[@LightingInvoker]

"There he is!" made me lol too

[@tinbautista8850]

this one's the best batch of hashtags for me 😂😂😂

[@sarahberkner]

There's a bunch of great dad stories in the comments too lol

[@jessicagreen4150]

Whenever my dad tells me he loves me he says “ I love you like your my own.”

[@shellymazalbenhacoun9969]

That's it ??? Noooo I want more Those are hilarious

[@xoxoso295]

Higgins is the best 😂😂😂

[@johnw2026]

I gotta remember next time I go into a fitting room to tell "there's no toilet paper in here!" 😆

[@one.of.no.kind_]

Up until college, every time my dad would ask what I wanted to eat for dinner, I'd say "I don't know" and he'd respond with "we don't have any I Don't Knows".

[@LarrytheKing16]

Wonder how Jimmy would react if he read this?

[@AleynaSeymen]

one time my dad parked his car and forgot where he parked it and couldn't remember it for 3 days until he walked by it. fail

[@LugeoOrbis]

Oh I have one like that. So back in 2002 I may have experimented with LSD and I woke up at a friends house. Alarmed that I drove in such a state I rushed outside to see if my car was damaged only to find out that my car wasn't there. My friend had told me that I walked to his place and I was confused because he lived out in the country. So I had him drive me back him to find out that my car wasn't there either. We searched for an entire day and came up with nothing but I get the feeling that some very confused farmer ended up finding it out in a field somewhere.

[@Hazeyface]

+William Clinton ...so you just never found your car?

[@LugeoOrbis]

Ha ha ha nope to this day I have no idea whatever happened to it. It's a 1993 Pontiac Sunbird so if you see one of those look for some nail polish on the dashboard ha ha ha.

[@Mmxxaamm]

"He's having a ball" LOL Higgins it's fucking hilarious.

[@asdqwe8469]

When I was a kid I would tell my dad I’m hungry, he would answer “hi hungry l’m Joe”.

[@margaret9893]

Please do more of this hashtag in particular

[@gega27tt]

i lost it at the "there he is" for the airport dad haahahaha

[@LarrytheKing16]

The dad at the airport said “Like I tell you if I have a bomb.”

[@DavidJordao]

I know I'm late but... My dad keeps calling Scarlett Johansson the "big ass lady" >_

[@myrest3334]

oh gosh lol

[@philchao]

+David Jordao (Crazy Davey) guessing he's never seen nicki minaj

[@okaywhatever959]

+phil chao she would have an obese ass going by his standards oh my god

[@mdgsk824]

+phil chao Nicki minaj already got fake ass covered

[@mariahrojas3660]

+David Jordao Has he never seen Kim Kardashian or Nicki Minaj because I'm pretty sure they beat out Scarlett for the role of "Big Ass Lady"

[@OROgoldenpair1]

My dad chronically yells while talking on the phone even if he is in public, and goes back to talking at a normal volume when not on the phone. -__- lol

[@panicfan1965]

Just last week my dad saw a sign that said Eagle Ridge, so he rolled down the window of the car, stuck his head out, and proceeded to screech like an eagle. *face palm*

[@christindannaldson4324]

My dad isn't the sassy pants between us, it's me. My dad almost died from undiagnosed cancer in his throat due to him avoiding going to the doctor. Well, after chemo and radiation had killed the cancer and he was ready to go back to work he had to go get his driver's license and class A CDL again because he had let them expire. We were at the licensing office and the woman was double checking that he'd let his licenses expire and I looked at her and went 'He almost let himself expire..... ' #ChildStop 😂😂😂😂

[@theasian24601]

I want to see a celebrity go to a random theater that is playing his/her movie and yell out there I am every time he/she comes on to the screen. :)

[@Iceteanpizza]

My dad used to drive me to school for 5 years and forced me to listen to his own CD.. 1 hour per day!

[@Iceteanpizza]

#StopItDad

[@Sketchtabulous]

Every time my sister and I would would say "Guess what?" to my dad, preparing to tell him some news, he'd reply with "Purple." Like... what? #stopitdad

[@8yuhg]

Every Christmas it was a tradition for my dad, my sister and I to shop at the mall for gifts. Dad would randomly burst out singing to whatever song was playing on the radio in the middle of the mall. And as I got older we started doing it together to embarrass my older sister when she would leave us to go shopping with her friends.