Hated by life itself. english ver. 【Oktavia】命に嫌われている。【英語で歌ってみた】

[@unknowndragon814]

“Kids with passion to make believe will become young adults with a will to achieve” I wish I knew that when I was younger...

[@cosmic_seabunny]

unknown dragon Really??? Because I’ve always had a strong imagination and..well let’s just say I’m indifferent about dying.... in anyway at any time any place.

[@DoneDreamin]

I was one of those kids and yet i have no idea what i wanna achieve. It makes me feel as if i failed.

[@TekTheNinja]

But the next line though is, "As we age, there comes a day we fester like a falling leaf"

[@angel_x5355]

Me who wants to die because she can never have those childhood fantasies be real and doesn't know what else to do with her life:😑

[@SolarChris3010]

@@cosmic_seabunny playing make-believe is a saying that you imagine things are better than they are. Which the lyrics say that when someone is older they will want to improve the world

[@chongyuns_icepop3030]

No youtube , I am not suicidal , this song is just really good

[@AlphaOmega1237]

^^

[@vesstig]

They'll never understand true beauty

[@jun2182]

me here being suicidal because of how youtube throws ads at me after telling me that this video has suicidal/self harm stuff

[@aidanaylward9237]

KZbin: you listen to this song a lot, are you depressed? Me, who, despite what some might say, is actually quite happy with my life: ...Sure, Jan

[@beaniesintheclouds]

I’m happy you aren’t suicidal! It’s not a fun thing to be lol, speaking from experience. I’m rooting for you! ✨

[@GhoulEyedDemon]

“I could be dead tomorrow, yet im sure in some way...when I go I’ll get to know my life was such a waste.” That one hit me the most.

[@goatythecringeyone7686]

The first section hit me quite strongly, I guess I avoided the negativity.

[@winterspectre]

I saw your chuuni pfp and since I'm crying already I wanna say that anime means so much to me.

[@ShellOfGrief]

the 'why "i want to die" is treated like another joke' hit me the most

[@astreaastraa]

Nihilism huh.

[@circusshow4723]

The one that hit me the hardest was “‘Hardships aren’t as hard as they seem to be’ Sure, say that all you want, you’re not fooling me with those words you never mean”

[@Kirb-B]

The desire to not exist: not suicidal, possibly afraid to die. While also not wanting to be alive.

[@theraPISSED_1]

also known as passive suicidal ideation

[@Nooptema]

Choosing to live even when life itself is your worst enemy. This song is seriously some powerful stuff. Thank you for the amazing translation.

[@Dragon-Believer]

Death is only bad if life is good. It's Death that gives life meaning. Sad but true. I can't decide if death or immortality would be worse.

[@Nooptema]

​​​@@Dragon-BelieverI believe death is often misunderstood and exist as an escape from mortal suffering and pain.This is not me saying death is better than living btw. I'm hoping nobody takes what I said the wrong way. I'm not promoting suicide. This is me validating what you said because I agree with you. Those of us that are suffering and that have lost hope look to dying as an escape because death does look better when misery overstays its welcome. 5 years ago I was in a bad spot and ready to end it. Fast forward to now, I'm in a better place and prefer to stay alive. It really does depend on what side of the fence you're on.

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodbl1520]

*I don’t want to die but I’m afraid to live another day.*

[@inkyotaku7406]

yes I agree

[@poili243]

*I don’t want to live, but I’m to scared to die*

[@omishadouglas8501]

The comment and the reply- Damn I can relate-(I'm just talking to myself rn-)

[@inkyotaku7406]

@@poili243 omg this I also really agree with, these are just my thoughts lol

[@quandaledingle5849]

'your friendly neighborhood black guy'

[@riku7243]

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the lyrics? Like how on earth did you manage to keep the rhyme scheme in English? WHILE keeping the original pace of the song? WHILE conveying the deep meaning of the lyrics? WHILE BLOWING MY GODDAMN MIND!

[@thederpygurl3420]

They are god, answer cleared

[@E4439Qv5]

Checkmate, atheists.

[@AlvinaYunoa]

Um....I thought the lyrics weren’t by them?

[@laworder5861]

Alvina Yuno i mean, whether or not they did it, SOMEONE did it, so-

[@EurypteridFossil]

Alvina Yuno Oktavia DID write these based on a translation of the original japanese. Really really really impressive writing skills

[@hitokikoshimizu5743]

I am a junior high school student in Japan. Thank you for the translation. Thank you for creating an opportunity to learn about Japanese Vocaloid songs abroad!

[@seishounenyuugi]

I honestly don't get what you mean by vocaloid

[@caramelapple5562]

@@seishounenyuugi You don't know Vocaloid?

[@seishounenyuugi]

@@caramelapple5562 no, i'm a big fan of vocaloids, but i don't get why were they mentioned there

[@caramelapple5562]

@@seishounenyuugi This is a Vocaloid song?

[@seishounenyuugi]

@@caramelapple5562 oh, sorry, my bad

[@rin3024]

I’m a Japanese ,so I’m glad to know that this song gives courage to people all over the world.I want to interact with people around the world through many kinds of songs! I’m sorry I can’t write English well.

[@phimau8104]

you can write pretty well, don't worry 👍

[@TheRealBellatrixLestrange]

That was very well written!

[@rei3198]

You writing is pretty good!

[@L3onking]

大丈夫! English seems hard because we use lots of idioms. So much that many forget that we don't really speak by the textbook similar to how casual Japanese is nothing like the textbooks

[@desyncyt1578]

Heya i feel the same . I want to know more ABT japanese PPL and their traditions.

[@baovtuber]

LITERALLY,,,,,,QUEEN OF SINGING TRANSLYRICS FOR SONGS WITH 1000 BPM 💖💖💖🖤🖤🖤

[@茶っぱ]

Hikaru Station ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

[@ostellie9136]

GOOD GOOD GOOD SO GOOD VERY GOOD

[@ali_tafa006]

10000000 bpm

[@core1official]

Simp!!! Jk

[@christopher4042]

^^

[@graytiamat]

Just read the description. It's good to see you putting your health first. I'm excited to see you coming back, but please, make sure not to push yourself. Cheers. Also, this cover is great.

[@ryuuronin9852]

People say this song is depressing, I don't think so. To me, it's not a song about everything wrong in the world, but about seeing that wrong, yet still finding a reason to continue, someone to sing for, to live on. I find that beautiful, even if getting there isn't easy.

[@sharpnelshots]

Hear hear!

[@heyawhatup1215]

Amen

[@the_gameing_rat8647]

Preach

[@pplgptyjrdohmdnrmptsgtsof5125]

god speed

[@nickkeathley433]

I love you man, that was a beautiful opinion and I praise you for sharing your opinion, most would be reluctant

[@CrossTrash]

OH YEAH! now *_this_* is a song i can relate to.

[@Primanovas]

Same here :)

[@Princessoftheunderground]

same

[@solarflare2.095]

Same

[@negativitee9550]

Tbh

[@spottypie734]

I'm Sorry. Hope things will get better.

[@mcchicken9007]

*HELL YEAH, FINALLY I'VE FOUND AN ENGLISH COVER FOR THIS*

[@averyclareduecker4163]

mc chicken Thats how i felt when i found it!

[@starryskies0327]

@@conankaitoshuichiandheijii4696 They have be different so the singer can sing it smoothly. The lyrics still carry the same general meaning though, or at least when I'm comparing it to the subtitles I have seen.

[@hxuntedbixtch4271]

That’s exactly what i thought

[@rafaelsalcie8267]

I think the original is way better, but this cover is good to. Thanks Majiko for this masterpiece❤️❤️❤️

[@andreh7869]

Congrats

[@DillonChichester]

It took several months and learning the actual lyrics of the Japanese version of this song to truly realize how brilliant this cover is. The lyrics are so masterfully crafted, and bring this song from a simple translation into something much stronger and something that has transcended a mere imitation. THIS is what covers should be.

[@alexfuller2865]

“While I don’t care to die I don’t mind a bit but someone I love?...God,I think I’d wish I did.” Same But thats alright

[@sofiaelboyellowstardata3532]

*pats back*

[@Leafhearrt]

"Day-to-day, they're singing out "I'll take you down", but then again, who takes when they're really being generous?" That line hit me hard

[@zodiacsama7693]

What does it mean?

[@chrosairs7057]

​@@zodiacsama7693 Idk, probably about how they wouldnt really care about being "taken down" , then it would no longer be a threat but a generous offer

[@LuxuryOscar]

The original means that people mindlessly make songs about suicide and killing, that are inflicted through the radio​@@zodiacsama7693

[@Melancholy_Star_Bunny]

​@@chrosairs7057 Or how people pretend to be heroes "I'll take you down" typically what heroes say to villains and vice versa. Could also mean how people pretend to be good by "taking down evil" but if they really were a good person they wouldn't take. Either that or I'm self projecting a little too much.

[@lordinquisitorstefanauster846]

It is Ironic that this has a suicide warning when this is the music that has kept me from plunging a knife to my chest. Life really does hates us.

[@rhael42]

it truly does :(

[@StellaBorneWatches]

And now muted on top of it.

[@basilbat273]

You okay?

[@Rose-xe7oj]

I wish you the best! I'm sorry I don't know what else to say, but know that I mean it! The same goes for anyone else reading!

[@Tyler-n1sf2w]

You know what’s sad is that what you are saying is True for a lot of us including myself

[@darkrighteous64]

Lyrics for easy singing! ------------------------------------- "Don't you wish for death when you're feeling weak! Hardships aren't as hard as they seem to be." ...Sure, say that all you want, you're not fooling me with those words you never mean. While I don't care to die, I don't mind a bit, bur someone I love? God, I think I'd wish I did. I suppose "Because I won't like it" is all my ego is. Happy to gaze upon the pain of the haven't met, cowering in our hatred has become a fashion trend. Even so, we're supposed to "Live a peaceful life"? Even though I bet it's nice, I bet we've tried. Someone succumbs behind the colors of the monitor. Deep in grief, another weeps by singing in their honor. Hearing that song a humming young boy wandered off with a knife and an offer. Everybody hated well by life itself will never know, why they force code and ego on the radio. Day-to-day they're singing out "I'll take you down", but then again, who takes when they're really being generous? Everybody hated well by life itself will never know, why "I want to die" is treated like another joke. That world where we see the worth in growing old, anybody hated well by life itself will never know. Penniless again, through the day anew, I decide to praise the lazy and sing out of tune. Lost upon life's meaning, I take in the truth, breathe and see there isn't anything I'm meant to do. Would these wounds be better off expressed with the lowly illustration "I'm so lonely" suggests? Shouldering nothing but this stubbornness, I'm nothing but alone when I go to bed. Kids with passion to play make-believe will become young adults with a will to achieve. As we age, there comes a day we fester like a falling leaf, carried down without a clue to prove we ever breathed. Breathing on for centuries in a deathless design, bored for eternity, the only to survive... These are the kinds of sci-fi dreams always on my mind. Numb to the pain, can I die? Though I'm not afraid, all the same, I have to pay attention to the hearts I'd break. Lost in conflicting thoughts, I'm sure they'd have a lot to say. Yes, I can guess what they'd convey: "Perfect things need to stay as perfect as they always were" "If you can't confront demise, then live the life you don't deserve." Since we're bound to end up sad and back to being hurt, we should laugh with the friends we lack forever. Everybody hated well by life itself will never know, why we claim to get the happiness we haven't shown. Angered by our past hands, past, as we complain aloud, we smile while pretending that we're better now. Everybody hated well by life itself we'll never know, why "so long" took on the meaning of "I wanna go". That time where goodbye implied "For now, I hope", anybody hated well by life itself will never know. Contentment and exits, affection and friendships. They're gifts you can get for your money within but a whimsical fantasy. I could be dead tomorrow, yet I'm sure in some way when I go, I'll get to know my life was such a waste. Through daylight and stardom, through springtime and autumn, we die everyday and that's exactly why I chase no wishes or visions, since all I can afford is protecting your life, I ask for that and nothing more. Of course... That's surely all I'll ever need to sing for. Hated well by life itself, we'll never know what makes the meaning matter when we die alone. It'll taint you, it'll taint two, soon enough the rest of us will sink like a leaf into anywhere we know it's not for naught, 'cause we don't stop going out and off, always giving everything we've got. To killing, to kicking, to grinning, to gritting, living, living, living, living, living on!

[@fartingkitty0712]

Thank you my dude

[@cookiedevil0651]

My man thanks

[@lillypop3535]

@GrayIsGreen same

[@pavithra7818]

Tq man.....this song is soo hard to sing even with this lyrics

[@cookiedevil0651]

@@pavithra7818 it gets easier as you keep going

[@ash_luciel]

I’ve been waiting for someone to do this for foreverrrrr

[@alullabie]

[Lyrics] “Don’t you wish for death when you’re feeling weak! Hardships aren’t as hard as they seem to be!” …Sure, say that all you want, you’re not fooling me With those words you never mean. While I don’t care to die, I don’t mind a bit But someone I love? …God, I think I’d wish I did I suppose “Because I won’t like it” Is all my ego is. Happy to gaze upon the pain of the haven’t-met, Cowering in our hatred has become a fashion trend Even so, we’re supposed to “live a peaceful life”? Even though I bet it’s nice, I bet we’ve tried. Someone succumbs behind the colors of the monitor Deep in grief, another weeps by singing in their honor Hearing that song, a humming young boy wandered Off with a knife and an offer. Everybody hated well by life itself, we’ll never know Why they force code and ego on the radio. Day-to-day, they’re singing out “I’ll take you down”, but then again, Who takes when they’re really being generous? Everybody hated well by life itself, we’ll never know Why “I want to die” is treated like another joke. That world where we see the worth in growing old, Anybody hated well by life itself will never know. Penniless again, through the day anew, I decide to praise the lazy and sing out of tune Lost upon life’s meaning, I take in the truth, Breathe and see there isn’t anything I’m meant to do. Would these wounds be better off expressed With the lowly illustration “I’m so lonely” suggests? Shouldering nothing but this stubbornness, I’m nothing but alone when I go to bed Kids with passion to play make-believe will Become young adults with a will to achieve. As we age, there comes a day we fester like a falling leaf, Carried down without a clue to prove we ever breathed… Breathing on for centuries in a deathless design, Bored for eternity, the only to survive… …These are the kinds of sci-fi dreams always on my mind. Numb to the pain, can I die? Though I’m not afraid, All the same, I have to pay attention to the hearts I’d break Lost in conflicting thoughts, I’m sure they’d have a lot to say Yes, I can guess what they’d convey: “Perfect things need to stay as perfect as they always were.” “If you can’t confront demise, then live the life you don’t deserve.” Since we’re bound to end up sad and back to being hurt, We should laugh with the friends we lack forever Everybody hated well by life itself, we’ll never know Why we claim to get the happiness we haven’t shown. Angered by our past hands, past, as we complain aloud, We smile while pretending that we’re better now Everybody hated well by life itself, we’ll never know Why “So long” took on the meaning of “I wanna go”. That time where “Goodbye” implied “For now, I hope” Anybody hated well by life itself will never know. Contentment and exits, affection and friendships- They’re gifts you can get for your money …Within but a whimsical fantasy. I could be dead tomorrow, yet I’m sure in some way, When I go, I’ll get to know my life was such a waste. Through daylight and stardom, through springtime and autumn, We die everyday, and that’s exactly why I chase No wishes or visions; since all I can afford Is protecting your life, I ask for that and nothing more. Of course… That’s surely All I’ll ever need to sing for. Hated well by life itself, we’ll never know What makes the meaning matter when we die alone. It’ll taint you, it’ll taint two, Soon enough, the rest of us will sink like a leaf into Anywhere we know it’s not for naught, ‘cause we don’t stop Going out and off, always giving everything we got To killing, to kicking, to grinning, to gritting, Living, living, living, living, Living on.

[@667nine]

Thank you

[@fanfiction_reader]

Thank you so much.

[@creme_art4248]

The lyrics are on the screen... YOU just b!ew my mind

[@ARunningJoke]

a

[@SebineLifeWind]

yer a fuckin peach.

[@ladrugo]

This may not have that powerful as mafumafu's version But wow Just wow The word choice for this English version is heavy Really heavy Made me a bit teary

[@kunkaan6248]

that's exactly what my thought is!

[@mikusgirlfriend]

oktavia’s voice is so passionate to the point bro got me all sad 😭

[@love_aypm_nico]

I am Japanese. This song is my favorite song and I listen every day in Japanese. This time, I found singing in English and heard it. It's a really good song in English and it's my favorite ^^ *

[@VegetaEx]

I listen to it everyday also ^^

[@Electric_Bagpipes]

I know this is a bit late, but how is it to listen to english songs as a native Japanese speaker? For me on the opposite side of that its kind of exotic and lets me focus more on the music.

[@AAAAA-ur4vq]

@@Electric_Bagpipes Im native Japanese but I can speak fluently in English so, I don't really feel a difference

[@lifesucks3514]

@@Electric_Bagpipes for me all it changes is i can tell what the lyrics are sometimes it changes the song completely, sometimes it feels no different

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

@@lifesucks3514 like Gommene Gommene? 😅😅

[@kristin4243]

This song is about life’s ups and downs, and at the very end; it SCREAMS about *GETTING BACK UP AGAIN,* and LIVING alongside the ones you love!! That message is BEAUTIFUL!

[@johngodfreymalig2328]

The vocal skills needed to sing the English translation of this song are so damn high, and this woman blew through its ceiling and into outer space. Massive respect. Like, wow.

[@LordTraco]

A couple years back, I listened to this on repeat at a job that was sucking out my will to live. And one day I just quit, no safety net or next job lined up, I just knew I couldn't keep living that way. There are still a lot of problems, but the fact that I haven't needed this song like I once did, that I haven't listened to it for over a year? That's really proof that things are better. I'll always be grateful to this song for its hopeful ending that guided me through my most difficult days. Thank you for uploading it and I hope life only gets better for you as well!

[@暇人-j5b]

もっとたくさんの人に届いて欲しい曲

[@flashdelirivm]

I know the comments section is flooded with people who are already saying they relate to this, but I just wanted to thank you for posting this at the time you did. I’m going through one of the hardest times in my life and it feels so comforting to listen to music that resonates with me. It gives me a lot of courage and hope, along with your voice which sounds amazing in this song I hope your mental health continues to improve and you can keep doing what you love, whatever it may be.

[@cosmic_seabunny]

Hurricanian this has a happy upbeat tune.

[@ashketchup41]

I pray your life turns out good . All the best 👍😊

[@lanajane778]

@Hurricanian that works for me sometimes but sometimes i listen to the lyrics about like positivity or love and i think about how un-relatable it is and it makes me feel worse.

[@nazmabegum7201]

Hey its been a year im just back to ask are you ok now ?

[@wolfgirlholo62]

"Don’t you wish for death when you’re feeling weak! Hardships aren’t as hard as they seem to be!” …Sure, say that all you want, you’re not fooling me With those words you never mean. While I don’t care to die, I don’t mind a bit But someone I love? …God, I think I’d wish I did I suppose “Because I won’t like it” Is all my ego is. Happy to gaze upon the pain of the haven’t-met, Cowering in our hatred has become a fashion trend Even so, we’re supposed to “live a peaceful life”? Even though I bet it’s nice, I bet we’ve tried. Someone succumbs behind the colors of the monitor Deep in grief, another weeps by singing in their honor Hearing that song, a humming young boy wandered Off with a knife and an offer. Everybody hated well by life itself, we’ll never know Why they force code and ego on the radio. Day-to-day, they’re singing out “I’ll take you down”, but then again, Who takes when they’re really being generous? Everybody hated well by life itself, we’ll never know Why “I want to die” is treated like another joke. That world where we see the worth in growing old, Anybody hated well by life itself will never know. Penniless again, through the day anew, I decide to praise the lazy and sing out of tune Lost upon life’s meaning, I take in the truth, Breathe and see there isn’t anything I’m meant to do. Would these wounds be better off expressed With the lowly illustration “I’m so lonely” suggests? Shouldering nothing but this stubbornness, I’m nothing but alone when I go to bed Kids with passion to play make-believe will Become young adults with a will to achieve. As we age, there comes a day we fester like a falling leaf, Carried down without a clue to prove we ever breathed… Breathing on for centuries in a deathless design, Bored for eternity, the only to survive… …These are the kinds of sci-fi dreams always on my mind. Numb to the pain, can I die? Though I’m not afraid, All the same, I have to pay attention to the hearts I’d break Lost in conflicting thoughts, I’m sure they’d have a lot to say Yes, I can guess what they’d convey: “Perfect things need to stay as perfect as they always were.” “If you can’t confront demise, then live the life you don’t deserve.” Since we’re bound to end up sad and back to being hurt, We should laugh with the friends we lack forever Everybody hated well by life itself, we’ll never know Why we claim to get the happiness we haven’t shown. Angered by our past hands, past, as we complain aloud, We smile while pretending that we’re better now Everybody hated well by life itself, we’ll never know Why “So long” took on the meaning of “I wanna go”. That time where “Goodbye” implied “For now, I hope” Anybody hated well by life itself will never know. Contentment and exits, affection and friendships- They’re gifts you can get for your money …Within but a whimsical fantasy. I could be dead tomorrow, yet I’m sure in some way, When I go, I’ll get to know my life was such a waste. Through daylight and stardom, through springtime and autumn, We die everyday, and that’s exactly why I chase No wishes or visions; since all I can afford Is protecting your life, I ask for that and nothing more. Of course… That’s surely All I’ll ever need to sing for. Hated well by life itself, we’ll never know What makes the meaning matter when we die alone. It’ll taint you, it’ll taint two, Soon enough, the rest of us will sink like a leaf into Anywhere we know it’s not for naught, ‘cause we don’t stop Going out and off, always giving everything we got To killing, to kicking, to grinning, to gritting, Living, living, living, living, Living on"

[@azirul9311]

You don't need to write the lyrics again when it's already in the video,but what ev

[@professionalbiter]

@@azirul9311 It helps people like me sing it because I can see whats coming up.

[@azirul9311]

@@professionalbiter Thank you.I knew there was something I miss but it completely miss me.Although I don't practically think it's that necessary,it will definitely help some people.

[@Checkmate___]

Thanks you, this is really helpful

[@belladonna8222]

Azirul also for those who wish to copy and paste

[@kaine1723]

Hi, this is the first cover I've listened to by you, but this is beautiful and I hope youre doing ok

[@OktaviavonSeckendorff8]

I’m doing much better lately! Thank you for listening!

[@Mia._fajita]

@@OktaviavonSeckendorff8 I know I’m super late but holy shit. I’m so glad you’re doing better now and what an incredible voice you have. I can really tell how much emotion went into this song and it honestly is so warming just listening to it and your powerful voice. It’s currently 9:44pm for me and I’m sobbing like a baby, this really hit me hard yet I felt so understood. Thank you thank you thank you for creating a cover so awesome!!

[@akumasatsuei328]

Me: *sees title* Me: Okay, relatable...

[@rat3138]

I'm not that depressed and don't relate to all of these lyrics, but I still find them very pretty and genuine

[@cookielover5838]

Same

[@DrageLee]

Depression isn't really a disease so it can't really be cured

[@DrageLee]

There's only digging up a grave for depression and putting it in it to leave it behind

[@ericaploof998]

At some point, we will relate to them, though. Some of it, anyway.

[@k4zperr]

@@DrageLee A cold isn't a disease and it can be cured. Diseases aren't the only thing that can be cured.

[@natalieharris601]

All hail queen Oktavia for her relatable choice of song 😂

[@Primanovas]

Shadow Alpha Preach it-

[@Uhhh131]

Hello xD

[@BruceWayne-qs7yb]

Blood rayna but eww English dubbed haha

[@Lunaliladee]

i've listened to this an alarming amount of times-

[@someone-fd6pz]

well, i don't think it's a bad sign if you keep listening this song for some reasons.

[@inovativeteacher6188]

@@someone-fd6pz mental The seal on the lonliness breaks Physical I become dumb(unable to hear) 😂😂😂😂😅😅😅

[@Lunaliladee]

@@inovativeteacher6188 yeah :D

[@socksx]

Relatable man

[@Lunaliladee]

Oof

[@q_0191]

I wanted to listen to this on repeat, but now I have to click the proceed button.

[@Zelteth]

Should still be able to set it to loop afterwards.

[@q_0191]

Yea but in playlists it gets pretty annoying

[@keigh11]

I actually cried listening to this. The whole song just struck a chord in me and your singing just brought it to the next level! Thank you.

[@julian7434]

After hearing/reading “we should laugh with the friends we lack forever” had me

[@shsl-fool3835]

yes hi hello your voice literally never fails to bring me to tears this is absolutely gorgeous

[@SOOH27]

this song hits me especially hard recently. School's been going terribly, I haven't had time to really do anything I enjoy. At times I just go "If someone runs a red light at the next intersection and takes me out, maybe that's for the better." I've been thinking "Well, if i fail, maybe i'll just die along with my grades." terrible mindset to be in. It's almost like I'm arguing with myself in my head. My logical side knows I'm in a terrible mental state and I need to get out of it, yet the rest of me can't seem to agree. I'm hopelessly lazy, haven't learned a thing this year, and I have to worry about the future soon. I can't disappoint my parents, yet I don't want to worry them either. All the pressure is on me, and I'm the only one putting it there. Who do I blame? My parents aren't the usual horror story asian parents, they are genuinely understanding and have good intentions. My school might be terribly structured, but is it their fault that I can't learn there? No. It all falls on me. I know this, and I can't find myself doing anything about it. It hurts. It really does. All i can do is complain, but deep down i know I can't blame anybody but myself. I really need finals to come, go, and stay away. those two months of summer vacation will be the perfect therapy.

[@caitlinmccarthy4254]

I’m sorry to hear that, that’s really rough. Wanted to remind you that things will always get better eventually even if they don’t feel like they will!! I’m here to talk if you need me!!! Sending all my love and support

[@shafireman700]

I may not know your story nor your exact situation indepth meaning I can not say what you're feeling is wrong in a typical sense. However despite you knowing it's an issue and that you want to fix it is a good sign. Sure it might torment you to death but honestly the first step is realizing and then getting to work. Imagine if you weren't self aware. That'd be more terrifying having to stay stuck in the same problem. Sure it might not be easy, I think first if anything you need to focus on having a good support system and then focusing on getting encouragement from them or getting better for them. Maybe just their energy will help you if you can't get deep with them like you maybe want to. You have potential to change, realizing what you are now and what you use to be in the past. Remember those good traits and times? I don't know if you can exactly use that as a basis but use it to inspire yourself to aim higher. I don't know if my words will reach you. I'd share my own experiences but I don't know if I should. It's weird, I kinda feel like it's easier to speak to strangers about your problems because you have no connection and maybe you have a few things in common. If you want to talk and if we relate then maybe I will respond with some of my own story. Shafireman#6556 is my Discord. Don't feel like you're a burden to me, despite what I'm doing I've kinda helped many people at the right time which is why I have the mindset I do today.

[@toofufu]

i get you. your comment has been a year ago, so i hope youre doing much better now. you are so loved

[@setraluluvs]

don't worry, you're not alone! i'm sorta in the same situation, except my parents are.. ehhh. anyway, i hope you get loads better during summer vacation!!!!!!!! do whatever you want, cus you're free!!!!!!!

[@sendhelp3521]

I wanna die but I'm scared to die. I wanna live but I'm scared to live. I wish there's another choice. Edit: is dis copyright?

[@kusuragikun3717]

tfw "I wanna die but i am scared" *feel*. That shit painful

[@someone-fd6pz]

Idk, but I think it's copyrighted in some way or form. I'm not the one do say exactly but that's what I think

[@mynameisddotcalm1008]

You might like the song called Empty. Not by Jaiden, the other one.”

[@archerestarcher]

@@someone-fd6pz What's copyrighted? This girl is saying her thoughts. Regardless of whether those words may be in some song or something idk that doesn't mean she's breaking any copyright rules. They are W O R D S. It's not copyrighted.

[@someone-fd6pz]

@@archerestarcher I said, I'm not the one to say if this is copyright or not. It's just my own opinion

[@茶っぱ]

日本人です。翻訳してくださり誠に嬉しく思います。 私はあまり英語Englishができません。ですがこの曲を聴き英語を学びたいと思います。

[@Raiken202]

As we age, there comes a day we fester like a falling leaf carried down without a clue to prove we ever breathed... This line just sticks with me for some reason and I don't know why. I only recently started obsessing over the original song and now I find this English vers and hot damn for the lyrics and singing are both so good.

[@ericmurotake5180]

I see it as a testament to the one ultimate truth of life. That, in the end, we will wither and vanish. And in time, we will be forgotten by the world. Which is strangely comforting, in a way. Because in the end, none of it will matter. Rich or poor, great or small, all deeds and ills... it all is just a tiny speck in the vast ocean of life. Even if we feel like something is the end of the world, it's just a tiny droplet in the ocean

[@kermitthefrog1819]

This song hits so deep.. Japanese and English both really get me in my feelings.

[@eeveeruleslol5440]

how did u get kermit as an account

[@kermitthefrog1819]

gavin bonet Because :3

[@steamboatdespair8463]

This song: Me: This song: EVERYBODY HATED BY LIFE ITSELF WILL NEVER NOW Me:AHHHHH

[@soramocha4803]

I don't know why this song just feels so...hopeful, I guess? It feels almost like a breath of fresh air to me. I don't take suicidal thoughts from it, if anything it feels kinda like the world we live in being described by someone young, and aware of all the bad in life yet they still live on for the sake of others. It feels surreal

[@Vypolix]

It is reallistick but not pessemistik, it might be one of the most sober and neutral takes on live itsself

[@Shiguang0913]

Why 'i want to die' is treated like another joke 'Me: locking myself in the room depressed and sad wanting to end it all Them: why u cant open up to us tell us ur problem *tried to open up and tell the problem* Also them: dont be so dramatic / *they got angry* Me: never open up again🙂

[@KingBanana123]

Relatable.

[@zaheii]

Some people don't understand how much pain a person can carry and asking for them to open up isn't helpful all the time when how your feeling just can be explained with words..

[@Shiguang0913]

@@zaheii i tried to open up but they dont understand me or just plainly ignore it

[@nevermind2425]

I’m sorry man...

[@kellet-5746]

@@Shiguang0913 when I tryed to open up my mum started to cry and shout "How could you think that" then went on a rant about why I shouldn't "think" that, and then sayd she won't forget that, the next day she spoke to me and told me that if i apologize she will forgive me, and then she asks me why I keep things to myself :(

[@PrimatamaNabil]

"I don't care about living but protecting you." This message I convey from this song... God...

[@ericmurotake5180]

I think it's more that even though we humans see the ugliness, the hate and cruelty in the world...we live on. For the ones around us, for the people we care about. Even if the world beats us down, WE. GET. UP. We keep clawing our way forward, even if only for the people around us that we care for, and who care for us in return

[@storyshiftchara1291]

I’m getting tired of acting but if it’s for them I will keep acting

[@kingdomkey63]

@@storyshiftchara1291 eventually it won't have to be acting for those that you care about. And maybe eventually you can let them in about how you really feel

[@gracegrrl007]

I saw this song come up and was excited for another Oktavia cover. I hadn't ever heard this song before, so I was only vaguely aware of what to expect. Maybe it's because I'm feeling tender and emotional today, but what I found was a song my past self connected with a little too wel...and somehow, it was encouraging. Maybe it's because I'm still here. Maybe it's because I can look back now and see that all those times where the only thing keeping me from giving up was my family have been worth it, because my life HAS improved. Maybe it's because I suddenly don't feel so alone in the moments where those thoughts threaten to come back. In any case, it was like my past was popping up to remind me of how much it hurt and make me realize just how far I've been able to come. So thank you, Oktavia. And to everyone else who's where I was...hey, take me as living proof things CAN get better. I know it doesn't feel like it--believe me, I do--but if you just keep going, just keep forcing yourself through, just keep trying new things...maybe one day, you'll be able to call these feelings a part of your past. I'm marching right along with you. ❤

[@_pyxeled]

Ok, guess I'm first comment. I totally relate with you, and you're giving me a lot of hope. Thank you, I've been feeling kinda sad lately but it's... getting better? And both this song and your comment are a bright light at the end of the tunnel for DEFINITELY not just me. So, thank you. From, a stupid middle school girl(that definitely shouldn't have written this on the judging internet)

[@khyle2520]

this really struck home with me. i've definitely had long, long periods of time that all i felt i had left was my animal companions or my sisters, etc. knowing i made it this far makes me so proud of myself. finding people like me, like you, that have gone through all this pain and are still here is such a beautiful feeling. knowing we're far from alone and we're welcomed with open arms into a group of survivors. your comment will stick with my heart for a long, long time. thank you sincerely, a teenaged boy that just needed to hear that someone made it through okay :)

[@kucak7835]

@@_pyxeled The people here are surprisingly kind (in the comments section).

[@_pyxeled]

@@kucak7835 oh shit, this was two years ago??? holy hell

[@_pyxeled]

guess this comment section deserves an update! jesus. first off, not in middle school anymore! second off, not a girl anymore! and third, quarantine's been a bitch but we are still pushing through. shoutout to "ive been feeling kinda sad lately" in my first comment! oh dear, sweet baby pixeledink, that was just the start of it. i'm being overdramatic here, haha. things have actually improved a lot. i know who i am, i know who my friends are and what i want to be, and on most days i can say that i'm content in where i am now. (PS. this song still bangs harder than my neighbors do at two in the morning.) cheers. from, a dumbass high school boy (that definitely shouldn't have updated this on the "judging" internet).

[@yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I absolutely love your voice and the effort you put into everything

[@sora5586]

I always find myself coming back to this song more and more. I know I have friends to talk to and there are professionals out there that I can talk to as well, but somewhere in my mind I have this terrible thought that no one really cares, that I'm easily replaceable like old batteries in a remote. It really is horrifying how your own subconscious can betray you and lead you into some dark places.

[@Solace6428]

@@clockw0rk843 dude, you're depressing as shit, but totally right. Life *is* meaningless. We're hurtling through space on a big ass rock, and in the scale of things, we're less important than idk, the bacteria on a pebble. But it's *because* nothing matters that it's worth doing it. You can fuck up over and over again, but because it's ultimately meaningless, who cares? Ask your crush out, take a trip overseas, why? Because absolutely none of it matters. In 200 years absolutely no one will remember your name, let alone that time you tripped up the stairs or literally any embarrassing thing you can think of. People try to find meaning in life- to have some sense of importance in this existence... but maybe the best way to do that is to just live.

[@ericmurotake5180]

But know this. No matter if you think you're replaceable, you AREN'T. There's people who care about you. People who believe in you. People who would miss you. You. Are. NOT. Alone. So keep on keeping on. Because you're irreplaceable. You're one of a kind

[@enryuu4166]

One of the best English version of a japanese song that actually captures the song's essence.

[@bv530]

A song I can get emotions out when I feel weak or desperate. I love the cover and it's sounds so passionate and filled with emotions I'm glad I found this

[@Dragel_]

"Contentment And exits, affection, And friendships They're gifts you can get for your money..." I wish I could say that's a lie..

[@darknessterra9953]

well you can accept them as a beautiful lie that you can have. but yeah a lie never gonna stop the bleeding but only make it slower

[@MouthofSauron334]

But you forget the next line. "Within but a whimsical fantasy. "

[@audreyplayz477]

"I could be dead tomorrow yet I'm sure in some way, when I go I'll get to know my life was such a waste" hit me- I love this song so much.

[@K1llerose]

A while back one of my friends sent this to me, I understand why she did. It was a hint...her depression was getting worse I was lucky to catch on, she's doing better now, I hope. Scrolling through the comments people hate the 'i wanna die' jokes, but a lot of times that's how people deal with their depression that's how my friends delt with it. I am lucky enough to have caught onto them. One of them told me the year I met her she had set a date to kill herself. If I wasn't for me she wouldn't be here. With all of this what I'm trying to say is, it really does get bette. You just have to try, if you don't try to get through it you won't. I pushed my friends away from it, I did everything possible to keep them happy. I know their depression is still there, it comes out at times, but at least now they know they have someone to talk to. I hope this can at least help someone in some way. I know it probably won't even be read, but try. Try to overcome it and you will eventually. (OK but like thanks you guys I've never gotten this many likes also to clear a few things there was more Than one of them I had 2 friends, Im now dating one but the other hates me its all good tho, its been a while I guess they have "better" friends now idk but I'm still here for anyone who needs to talk)

[@binhminhnguyenvan7212]

I'm glad for you. I never had a chance until it happened Stay strong both of u

[@hms.fortune5829]

I cant respect you more for trying your best to help those closest to you, and for typing this comment out to try to help anyone that would see it no matter what the chance I personally dont have depression but I know several who do and I try to make their lives better when possible, thanks for watching their back

[@yukisurvived9320]

A lot of the people trying to help are going through something themselves, yet they don't have anyone they can tell it to. If they do have someone , then theyre lucky and should try their best as much as they're making others try their best to have the motivation to keep going. If you ever need anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to search for yourself, or even if there is no one I'll be there. The pain in my chest growing while writing kinda make it ironic isn't it-

[@melon1590]

@@yukisurvived9320 I resonate with this comment the most. The always tell you should but you never get a how. It's especially hard if know is there to talk to. You end up holding it in and putting on fake face.

[@antoniogasse4111]

God, I think i might need someone like you in my life ngl

[@koko-yt4dn]

声の圧がすごい 魂こもってる感じで、今まで聞いたボカロの英語版の中で一番好き

[@SydneySmith-sm3ph]

Aaaaa this song has had so much meaning to me when I was in really bad mental stages and you covered this song so perfectly.

[@aidskun]

i have related to this song so many times

[@DuneTheKaiju]

Yeah I know right! It's a really good song. Also hi Maki

[@_snowy_weather_]

@@DuneTheKaiju, wait, Harukawa-san was here?

[@DuneTheKaiju]

@@_snowy_weather_ Yes, the profile picture

[@_snowy_weather_]

@@DuneTheKaiju, oof, sorry, I can be an idiot sometimes.

[@こりん-med]

Lyrics Don’t you wish for death When you’re feeling weak! Hardships aren’t as hard As they seem to be! Sure, say that all you want You’re not fooling me With those words you never mean While I don’t care to die I don’t mind a bit But someone I love? God, I think I’d wish I did I suppose Because I won’t like it Is all my ego is. Happy to gaze upon the pain of the haven’t met Cowering in our hatred has become a fashion trend Even so, we’re supposed to Live a peaceful life? Even though I bet it’s nice I bet we’ve tried. Someone succumbs behind The colors of the monitor Deep in grief, another weeps By singing in their honor Hearing that song A humming young boy wandered Off with a knife and an offer Everybody hated well by life itself We’ll never know Why they force code And ego on the radio Day-to-day, they’re singing out I'll take you down But then again Who takes when they’re Really being generous? Everybody hated well by life itself We’ll never know Why I want to die Is treated like another joke That world where we see The worth in growing old Anybody hated well by life itself Will never know Penniless again, through the day anew I decide to praise the Lazy and sing out of tune Lost upon life’s meaning I take in the truth Breathe and see there isn’t Anything I’m meant to do Would these wounds be Better off expressed With the lowly illustration I’m so lonely suggests? Shouldering nothing But this stubbornness I’m nothing but alone when I go to bed Kids with passion To play make-believe will Become young adults With a will to achieve As we age, there comes a day We fester like a falling leaf Carried down without a clue To prove we ever breathed Breathing on for centuries In a deathless design Bored for eternity, the only to survive These are the kinds of sci-fi Dreams always on my mind Numb to the pain Can I die? Though I’m not afraid All the same, I have to pay attention To the hearts I’d break Lost in conflicting thoughts I'm sure they’d have a lot to say Yes, I can guess what they’d convey Perfect things need to stay as Perfect as they always were If you can’t confront demise Then live the life you don’t deserve Since we’re bound to end up Sad and back to being hurt We should laugh with the Friends we lack forever Everybody hated well by life itself We’ll never know Why we claim to get the Happiness we haven’t shown Angered by our past hands Past, as we complain aloud We smile while pretending That we’re better now Everybody hated well by life itself We’ll never know Why So long Took on the meaning of I wanna go That time where Goodbye Implied For now, I hope Anybody hated well by life itself Will never know Contentment and exits Affection and friendships They’re gifts you can get for your money Within but a whimsical fantasy I could be dead tomorrow Yet I’m sure in some way When I go, I’ll get to know My life was such a waste Through daylight and stardom Through springtime and autumn We die everyday, and That’s exactly why I chase No wishes or visions Since all I can afford Is protecting your life, I ask For that and nothing more Of course That’s surely All I’ll ever need to sing for Hated well by life itself We’ll never know What makes the meaning Matter when we die alone It’ll taint you, it’ll taint two Soon enough, the rest of us Will sink like a leaf into. Anywhere we know it’s not for Naught, ‘cause we don’t stop Going out and off, always Giving everything we got To killing, to kicking To grinning, to gritting Living, living, living, living Living on.

[@Mixypup]

KZbin: prompts me asking if im okay or if i need to talk to a hotline me: Im just tryin to listen to this song lol

[@florianwiltshire8005]

Sorry for the essay, tl;dr: I'm happy this is up, I'm happy for you, and proud you're deciding to focus on your recovery.

[@ph0ax]

Reminder: I know things are going to get tough, but you have to remember that for every time you fall, you have to keep getting up. No matter how *strong* or *weak* you are. There are things to look forward to. It's okay not to understand why we're here, what *feelings* are, and how to keep going through life the way you are. All you really have to do is what feels right. No matter what anyone else says. Even if you truly are alone. Just keep moving forwards through life as you see fit. If you ever feel like it's getting to be too much, talk to someone. You can even talk to me! No one is truly a horrible person, as long as they have positive qualities, which everyone has. You can never be *that* bad, because even throughout everything, if you truly need and want to, you are able to change. (EDIT: Please stop with the negative replies, this was meant to be positive. I really do mean these words. You are loved, and you are cared for.

[@viotrix1202]

Do you mean this words? If so it doesn't matter.

[@Pikaton659]

Sure, say that all you want, you’re not fooling me with those words you never mean.

[@---nw2oq]

even with all the efforts, its down to you to decide if they mean it or not. even with all the efforts, its still your decision, no matter what. i would like to believe they mean it and understand you dont think so.

[@tojifushigive]

Gemini be like Asta-

[@AmigosEnLaCasa]

Thanks, but it doesn't help me typically because honestly i deserve depression I'm a bad person and oh you might say "But you're not a bad person I'm sure you're good" (as if anyone would ever say that), i bullied people and i had no reason to, i did it for my own satisfaction, i didn't mind what i did to my victims, i hurted them, i put them down. Soon enough i had a mental breakdown of regret honestly it changed my heart but it didn't stop me, i honesty don't know why i still hurt people although i know it's wrong, when i do it I'm naturally at a loss of empathy but my mind and heart still are regretting at the moment. I think i deserve depression, it's my karma for not being good, i know no one can truly be good without doing some wrong but I'm beyond that I'm bad. I wish i could truly change but what's the point? I'd just slowly return to my past self like i always do. It makes me hate being persistent I'm surprised i haven't gave up and just accepted it, i want to lock myself away, people will never understand since I'm not a victim of bullying since i was the bully. I hate when people talk about bullies, how they got bullied and how much they hate them because it's so awkward i would love to be there for them but i always leave the conversation. Edit: sorry if i repeated words... I find it hard to remember what i wrote therefore i may have repeated what i said (well the topic)...

[@さしす-q2y]

日本語への再翻訳 命に嫌われている。 0:20 「落ち込んでいるときでも死を望むなよ。」 「苦難なんて見た目より苦しくないんだから。」 …はあ、好きなだけ言えばいいさ、思ってもない言葉で僕を騙せやしないんだから。 死にたいとか、そんなことは少しも頭にないけど。 でも好きな人がいるなら......ああ、やっぱり死にたいなあ。 「死ぬのは好きじゃないないから」っていうのは、まるっきりエゴだよな。 0:39 まだ味わったことのない苦しみを喜んで見つめて、憎しみをまとうのがファッションになる。 そうだとしても僕らは「平和に生きる」ことになっているの？ それでも素敵だと思うよ、もうやってきたんだよ。 画面の向こうで誰かが倒れて。悲しみに暮れて、名誉を歌ってまた誰かが嘆いて。 その歌を聞いて、鼻歌を歌う少年が、言われたままにナイフ持ってぶらついた。 0:58 命に嫌われている僕らは誰もが、なぜラジオで言葉や主張を押し付けられるのかを知ることはない。 毎日「お前を倒してやる」なんて歌っているけど、それでまた本当に機嫌がいいときに倒す人なんているんだろうか？ 命に嫌われている僕らは誰もが、なぜ「死にたい」が冗談のように扱われているのかを知ることはない。 見るたびに無価値になってゆくこの世界を、命に嫌われている誰もが知ることはないのだ。 1:27 新たな日を過ごして、また金がなくなった。惰性を謳歌して、あの曲のフレーズでも口ずさむことにする。 生きる意味を見失い、真実を悟り、息を吸って、僕がするべきことなど何もないのだと理解する。 「とても寂しい」なんて説明よりもっとましに、この傷を表現できないものだろうか。 抱えるのはこの頑固さだけで、寝るときは孤独以外の何でもないんだ。 1:46 ごっこ遊びをする情熱のある少年は、達成する意志のある青年になってゆく。 年を重ねるにつれて、僕らが落ち葉のように腐る日が来て、かつて息をしていたことを示す手がかりは残されない...... 不死身で何百年も息をし続けて、永遠に飽きてただ生きるだけ...... …頭の中にはいつもある、そんなSFチックな夢。 2:06 痛みに麻痺したよ。死んでもいいかな？　死ぬことは怖くないけど、それでも心が壊れることが気になって仕方ないよ。 絶対あの人たちは言いたいことがたくさんあるんだろうな、もう言い争う気になれないや。 うん、あいつらが何と言うか想像がつくよ。 「完璧なものは常に完璧な姿を保つ必要があります。」 「もし命の終焉に立ち向かえないのなら、たとえ無価値でもその人生を生きなさい。」 悲しみに行き止まり傷ついて戻らないとならないのだから、僕らは永遠にいない友達とともに笑うべきなんだ。 2:25 命に嫌われている僕らは誰もが、なぜ見たことのない幸せをくれと要求するのか知ることはない。 過ぎ去った頃の自分の行為に怒って、大声で不満をまき散らしているうちに時が過ぎ去っているのに、昔より良くなっているふりをしながら微笑んでるんだ。 命に嫌われている僕らは誰もが、なぜ「それじゃあまた」が「もう別れたい」という意味に代わっているのかを知ることはない。 さよならが「今のところはそう願っている」という意味を含むときを、命に嫌われている誰もが知ることはないのだ。 2:53 満足と終了、愛情と友情。 そんなものは、滑稽なファンタジーから成る、お金で手に入る贈り物。 3:03 明日死んでしまうかもしれないけど、僕はどこかで勘づいているんだ。ここを去るとき、僕の人生などただの徒労だったと知ることを。 陽の差し込むときも星の照らす夜も、春めく時も実のなる季節も。 僕らは毎日死ぬんだから、だからこそ僕は願望や空想を追わない。だって僕ができる全てのことは、君の人生を守ることで、僕はそれ以上何も求めないから。 もちろん……。それは間違いなく、僕が歌って求めていくものの全てなんだ。 3:22 命に嫌われている僕らは、どうして孤独に死ぬことに意味があるのかを知ることはない。 君は腐り、二人ともが腐り、そうして置いてけぼりにされた僕らは葉っぱのように沈む。でも、そうしてたどり着いた場所は無意味ではないって分かってる。だって、僕らはそこから出て離れようとして、いつも持てるすべてを出し切ろうとし続けるから。 3:36 殺して、蹴って、嗤って、堪えて、生きて、生きて、生きて、生きて、生き続ける。

[@scriptorbean720]

The fact this song is now stuck in my mind and whenever I write in class I keep on writing the lyrics instead of what I need to write and when I don't notice it my friend then asks me why i'm writing something else and then i realize and i erase it quickly and not answer they're questions, i'm well enough to understand all the hatred in our world and i'm truly almost against many things in the world but don't blame me i just don't like them or so.

[@vivoltr]

Me too, well at least the lyrics ive memorised

[@mixmix-hr8zn]

hey kiddos, i know that shit gets really hard but i beg of you, that if you're feeling this way, PLEASE get some help. it may seem pretty normal because of how common it is now, but i promise you that this is NOT normal. i was hospitalized in november because of a suicide attempt, something which could've been avoided if i'd spoken out about my struggle rather than internalizing it all. please, speak up if you're hurting.

[@clarificationmayberequired]

I wouldn't say speaking up will fix everything though. I spoke up about my issues after years of bottling it all up and once I finally opened up about it nothing really changed. I was hospitalized and was seeing a psychiatrist but none of that helped and honestly I feel like I am at my lowest point currently. They put me on meds and sent me on my way. I saw a psychologist sometimes after that but that wasn't helping either. Eventually I stopped going and I'm no longer taking the meds because they weren't helping either. I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel trapped and helpless. I think about killing myself multiple times on a daily basis and the only things really keeping me from doing so is I dont want to do that to my family and i remember reading something that said suicide is always on the table but make sure you do everything else within your power before taking that option. If you honestly try to change things and you still can't get through it, then go through with it. So I try every day to change things. I dont know why I'm typing this out and I'm sorry if this is a downer for anyone, I guess this was just something I had to get off my chest. Thanks for reading this if anybody did I guess, and sorry again for this post. Edit: wanted to clarify that this is just my perspective and situation and maybe therapy or medication could possibly help someone else who is struggling, I'm not writing those off for other people so I agree that you should speak up and seek out help of you need it, I suppose I just wanted to share my experience. If anyone out there needs help then try to get the help you need, maybe it will work out for you.

[@Jepysauce]

@@clarificationmayberequired You shouldn't really say "then go through with it" in any situation. As for psychiatrists/psychologists, try to get to talking with someone you can actually connect with, as psychologists can't magically cure your issues, they can only help you get on the right path and walk through it with you. That being said, I know a point of feeling like nothing else will ever help as I've been there and nearly gone through with "it". What ended up helping me is really trying to open up and actually speak my mind as well as let myself be helped. Of course not everyone is going to be as fortunate as I was with how many people were ready to help me once I allowed it to happen, but there's always a way to go look for help. No matter what state you're in, even here on the internet there will always be people that want to be there for you. Don't give up and "go through with it". Always keep trying no matter how horrible you feel, because god damn am I glad I didn't give up, and I'm fairly certain you'll feel the same.

[@Jepysauce]

tl;dr speaking up itself won't fix anything, but it'll allow you to open up and start working on yourself with the help of others. Please, do your best and try to let people help you. And because I'm sure some of you feel the same way I used to; You don't need to feel bad or embarrassed about wanting to feel happy again and getting help to achieve your goals. Let people be there for you, plox

[@clarificationmayberequired]

@@Jepysauce I'm sorry, it seems I wasnt clear on the "then go through with it" point. What I meant there was that was my personal mindset on the subject of trying to get through everything, not that I'm telling everyone else that they should do the same thing. That's just my personal "rule set" I guess I would call it. Try everything and if I am at the end of my rope then that is still there. I guess its hypocritical to say that others shouldn't follow the same "rules" as me but to me that is just the answer I found for myself, and I think others should do their best and find out what works for them as well. Maybe it will make sense if I say that in a twisted way that for me it's like saying "hey you have nothing to lose to keep going that extra day and if in the end nothing works out that will be there for you" for me to have as an alternative. Also I understand that there is no magical cure to fix things, I just simplified my situation down instead of getting into it. I tried to work with them on communicating my issues but it wasnt going anywhere and I didn't think anything was improving in my situation. I also understand that it's a two sided situation because I need to put effort into trying to fix things too. In regards to finding people to communicate and connect with that is really hard for me to do. One of my biggest issues in life has been making connections because of multiple different factors and I am at the point where i am actively avoiding these now because I am terrified of other people and I have a hard time even talking to people in person about normal stuff let alone my problems. I see myself as insignificant and a burden on everyone else and I dont want to get involved in other peoples lives because I dont want to cause problems for them either. I could keep going but I dont want to trouble you any further than I already have. Thank you for taking the time to respond and I'm sorry for wasting your time. I hope you have a nice day/night.

[@miserablepumpkin9453]

@@clarificationmayberequired You aren't wasting our time. I have hope that things will get better for you.

[@ClairDeLume]

This song gives me hope. For just.. everything, honestly. I’ve fallen pretty low as of late, but this song gives me encouragement to keep going and look forward to the future positively. No matter what the circumstances. I think that’s what makes this song very special. I’d even say unique.

[@ericmurotake5180]

Hey. I want you to know something, okay? You are NOT alone. There's people out there who care about you, who cherish you. So don't you give up, okay? Don't EVER give up. Because people believe in you.

[@ClairDeLume]

@Eric Murotake Thank you. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that. ♥️

[@ericmurotake5180]

@@ClairDeLume You're welcome. And um.. I'm here if you ever need a shoulder!

[@beepobeepo]

YES YES YES YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR AN ENGLISH COVER AND YOU'RE THE PERFECT PERSON I HAVENT EVEN PRESSED PLAY AND IM NUTTING ALREADY

[@lady.bxggy.]

Oh my god the queen has uploaded! Just wanted to say it sounds absolutely FABULOUS! We love you Octavia!!! 💞💞💞

[@alvarovillalba2026]

The queen is slaying👸🔊🎶🎶🎶🎶

[@himeoftwili]

An amazing song. I listened to it for years. This version gets the message across. But I can only lie to myself to hold on for so long

[@ManijakTotalni]

"If you can't confront demise, then live the life you don't deserve" Having no feeling to call my home, this puts the last nail in the coffin.

[@mii-l3i]

最後の「living on」が、日本語の「生きろ」と発音が似てて、胸がギュッてなった

[@IkeaSquid]

This song reminds me a lot of my life... Wanting to die but not WANTING death, only thing keeping me alive being how my death would negatively impact everyone around me, being brushed off as joking, being scared of growing up, and feeling like life itself hates me because I'm constantly hit with hardships and unfair situations.

[@あああマイク]

「心が沈んでいるときも死を望まないで 困難はあなたが思うほど難しくない」 ...確かに望まれていることだ　私を馬鹿にしているわけではない 意味のないそれらの言葉で 私は死ぬ事への心配がないので　死を少しも気にしない もし私が愛した誰かだったら…?...ああ　私が代わりにしたいと思う 「私はそれが好きでないので」 これは全て私のエゴだ 満たされない痛みと向き合うことは幸せで 私達の悪意で縮こまることは　ファッショントレンドになっていて それでもまだ　私達は「平和に生きよう」と思える? たとえそれが幸せだと思っても　きっと試したに違いない 誰かがモニターの奥で倒れ また誰かが　悲しみの中彼らの名誉を泣きながら歌い その歌を聞いて　ハミングしている若い男の子はさまよい 離れた　ナイフとその提案と共に 誰もが人生を嫌っている　でも知ることはない なぜ彼らがラジオで規則とエゴを強制するのか 日々 彼らは「あんたを引きずり落とす」と大声で歌っています　そしてまた 彼らが本当に心を持っているなら誰がそんなことをするのだろうか? 誰もが人生を嫌っている　でも知ることはない なぜ「死にたい」というのは冗談のように扱われるのか 私達が成長すると見てしまうそんな世界 誰もが命に嫌われていることを知ることはない お金がないので今日も一日 私は怠惰であることを称え　調子外れの歌を歌うことに決める 生きる意味を失って　私は真実を悟った 呼吸して　私の行動に意味がないことを確認する これらの傷は表したほうが良いのだろうか 「私は　独りだ」そう思うことで そんな頑固さだけを背負い 私は一人で眠る 希望を創り出せる情熱を持った少年は 成し遂げる意志をもつ青年になり 年老いて　落ち葉のように腐る日が来る 私たちが生きていたという証もなく朽ちていく... 一生生きれるようになり ずっと退屈している　1人生き残っているから... ...これらは　常に私の心ににあるSFだ 苦痛で麻痺すれば　私は死ねる?私は恐くないけど それでも　私は壊れようとする命に注意を払わなければならない 矛盾した思考の中で失い　彼らに色々言われるだろうなと思った うん　私は彼らが何を言いたいかわかるよ 「完全なものは完全なまま保つ必要がある」 「あなたが死と立ち向かえないのなら　あなたは価値のない人生を送る」 私達は悲しい出来事や　傷付くことに縛られて以来 私達は友人と笑っていなければならない　私達はずっと欠けている 誰もが人生を嫌っている　でも知ることはない 何故幸せを手に入れると主張するのか　私達は見せていない 今に文句を言いながら　過ぎ去った過去に怒って 今が一番だと　笑顔を被っているのを 誰もが人生を嫌っている　でも知ることはない 「so long」と語ったのが「さようなら」という意味である理由 「goodbye」が「今がそうだったらいいね」という暗示である時 誰もが命に嫌われていることを知ることはない 幸福も別れも愛情も友情も お金で得ることができるもので ...気まぐれな幻想の中の物だ 私は明日死んでいるかも知れない　それでも私は確信している 死にゆく時　私は人生が無駄であったことを知る事を 朝も夜も春も秋も 私達は毎日死んでいる　そしてまさにそれこそ私が追いかける理由 夢も明日もいらない　私に余裕があるが故に あなたが生きていれば　私はそれ以上なにも求めない そうだ... きっとそれが 歌うために必要な全てだろう 誰もが人生を嫌っている　でも知ることはない 私達が孤独に死ぬとき　何の意味あるものを作れたのか その考えはあなたを腐らせる　二人を腐らせる すぐに私達は眠る　葉が沈みゆくように 私たちがどこに向かっても　それが無駄ではないことを知っている　だから止まらない 外へ離れ　私達が得た全てを与えよう 殺して　あがいて　笑って　抱えて 生きて　生きて　生きて　生きて 生きろ

[@夢野たまご]

ありがとううううう！ めっちゃ嬉しい！

[@gyobu6003]

あざます！

[@kotosiatusugi_1489]

感謝

[@earthchansociety7769]

An absolutely beautiful song. It’s a shame everyone just considers it a suicide song. It simply isn’t. It’s trying to fight that idea itself. But anyway this is a tune I put in my work out playlist

[@ericmurotake5180]

Exactly. It's a song about seeing all the hate, the ugliness, the sadness in the world... And choosing to live on. No matter how many times you get knocked down, you get back up. You tell the world you REFUSE to be broken. And you live on. You fight tooth and nail to keep on living, because no matter how small, there's good in the world

[@keaton3258]

​@@ericmurotake5180kzbin.info/www/bejne/q6W1g3Ske5Kgf80si=DQV395Uv9Re7a2_8 imo very similar to this song, about living on despite it all

[@Solace6428]

The last few lines... they really got me. It had me sobbing, the body wracking kind of sobs. Life is a mixed bag. It's full of everything you can imagine. Yes, there is pain, but there is also the wonderful things. There is happiness, love, kindness, and comfort. You take them all, and you live. You just live. To give up the pain, you must give up everything. All the good things in life as well. There will always be pain, but there will also be things that make you indescribably happy.

[@ball_kazumi9667]

I wished my school could watch this so they stop making 'I'm lonely' and 'I want to die' jokes

[@averagechannelname9969]

Idk what caught my eye first. Kanadead or death jokes. I personally make death jokes because its a way to cope. And humor is a way that I deal with things

[@runibnuuy]

I should play this at my high school talent show while playing the piano.

[@specializedchemicals6669]

But sometimes people joke about that to cope. Such as myself. I say edgy jokes making fun of death and suicide to cope. So I won't hurt myself and won't do it myself. It makes me forget about the urges. And I think it helps me better than any other coping skills put in front of me. Especially if I say it around others, it's to ground myself. Again, it's also healthier than self-harming, drinking, drugs, and attempting to kill oneself.in my opinion.

[@juliana-iq5en]

Maki Roll love your name

[@cruzfamily2836]

I really don't know if this is really the english lyrics..

[@Eradin]

"Happy to gaze upon the pain of the haven't met // cowering in our hatred has become a fashion trend" is a clever way to interpret 「他人が生きてもどうでもよくて // 誰かを嫌うこともファッションで」 It adds meaning and hits harder than the original line. Cowering and hatred are usually used like opposites, but it's perfect here. Nice going!

[@Tururruuuuuuuuuuuuu]

I love how you can hear every breath she takes in the song so you can sing along with her, I just love it

[@NotRishabh]

This song really made me pull my sh*t together! Can't thank youtube enough for recommending it to me, if yt hadn't recommended me this I wouldn't be able to write this now.

[@kratosdragonmaster]

soo watching this in Canada i found that there is a massive difference in warnings, most of them are simple" this contains disturbing content" to now telling me about the suicide prevention hotline when im just listening to it since i like it mean while the original and the other english covers have no such warnings just a fun observation

[@novelnygma]

the video has the suicide prevention hotline attached to it and the content warning no matter where you’re from

[@ltheoddboy]

This song gives me chills every time, it's just so powerful.

[@myersproductionsstudios4749]

"No wishes or visions, since all i can afford is protecting your life, i ask for that and nothing more" This line is my current sense of self tbh

[@yinyang-p9265]

Honestly, this description absolutely breaks my heart. No one should ever have to go through this kind of shit, especially someone as undeserving of it as you. I am so, SO glad that you're getting help, though, and that you've gotten better the last few months, and that you've regained the ambition to continue making covers again! Take all the time you need to rest and don't push yourself too much, though - if singing gets to be too much, everyone understands if you need to take a step away and stop doing it for a while. Love you!

[@Tewryd]

I remember having a brakedown to this song so often in the first half of 2020. I'm so glad I can still listen to it even in 2024...

[@aliyahmontemayor8736]

"we smile while pretending we're better now" dang.... that hit HARD

[@H1k1k0mori_Gh0st]

I was just about to comment that

[@combatkool-aid9495]

You're the Morgan Freeman of the vocaloid cover community. Keep up the gr8 work and always know you're appreciated.

[@willowoodz]

the description gives me so much hope. thank you.

[@Diego-pl9ut]

OKTAVIA THIS WAS 1000% WORTH THE WAIT THIS IS SO GOOD AAAAAA i dont mind at all having to wait this long, and i think others can agree too. especially if it has something to do with recovering from mental health! take it easy oktavia you deserve it.

[@venusprobably4244]

I just got into this song oml bless you have answered my prayers!

[@DollieGutz_]

"Lost upon life's meaning, I take in the truth, breathe and see there isn't anything I'm ment to do" is the thing that goes through my head a lot, because it's pretty much how I feel every day

[@ninanguyen2320]

This is my take on the meaning behind some of the lyrics. "You're not fooling me with the words you never mean". Its because I'm used to your words/lies. "Even though I bet it's nice, I bet we've tried". Its because my efforts haven't born fruit that things never change and remain the same. "a humming young boy wandered off with a knife and an offer". An offer that society pushed onto him. Because cuts were said to be the only way to prove your sadness. "who takes when they're being generous?" Under facades, they remain an ideal of a generous kindness built upon stealing. "we'll never know Why 'I want to die' is treated like another joke". A thought that shouldn't spread come to be because of the same facades that kept us under control. "That world where we see worth is growing old". Its because we cut our connection to the world before that time comes. "There isn't anything I'm meant to do". Lost in a monochromatic world where not a single soul left by my side. "Would these wounds be better off expressed with the lonely illustration 'I'm so lonely' suggest?" In the end, I'm still looking for a companion that doesn't even exist. "we should laugh with the friends we lack forever". Being alone never hurt alone because we can continue with our pretense of friends, when a genuine bond doesn't exist. "we claim to get the happiness we haven't shown". Happiness won't come, not now, and not in the future. "we smile while pretending that we're better now". Its the only option left for us.

[@kucak7835]

Wow, this is very interesting. Nice job!

[@mira_arts_v]

I love listening to your versions of these songs, your voice is so powerful and full of emotion, and is so so beautiful

[@atleynater]

i just wanted to mention how much this cover means to me. this song has convinced me to keep going countless times. a few months ago, one of my friends committed suicide. my life hasn't been the same without him & i miss him every single day. this is the first time i've listened to this song since he passed. i've never cried so hard to this song. it reminded me so much of him. i wish someone could have told him this. i know he's in a better place now, but i wish i could have told him some of these things when he needed it the most. thank you for this.

[@cherryspades3440]

This hit me right in the feels. I don't even have words for how beautiful this is

[@HacBe]

Letting yourself go to waste, then picking up after yourself and then keeping a perfect GPA? Thanks for the inspiration since I'm also trying to come to this ending. Thank you.

[@Noka1924]

This is by far my favorite song, thank you for making this

[@pstorms8167]

Congrats on jumping back into the scene oktavia, but personally speaking, Life fucking sucks. To start with, the 13th of this month, or, 2 days ago.. I got a letter denying me to college, no big deal, kinda bummed but no biggie. Later that same day, my father tells me with tears in his eyes that my Uncle, Frank, his cancer has progressed too far. We doubt he has even a month left, he's down to about 120lbs, and he's in constant pain. Today, my parents decided to put down my dog tomorrow morning. All of this awful shit has happened to me in a matter of days, quite literally my life and all of my emotions are in shambles. I've been crying on and off, trying to think of anything I can do to change what's happening. But there's nothing. Everything I've taken for granted, friends, family, all of it, it's all just being ripped away from me, and my life is falling apart. This song has helped me some ways, some not as much, and I figured I'd share my pain with you few who read comment sections. I'm not expecting any kind of community outreach, because no amount of anything will help my uncle or dog. I'm sorry if reading my story ruins your day, truly, but I wanted to share to someone and a youtube comment section is the easiest spot. The fact that you covered a song that got me out of depression means so much to me, even though you did it out of a personal desire. Thank you Oktavia.

[@ligmaballslol]

Hey, it's been a year, how're you doing? I understand that my comment can't fix your life or anything but I really hope everything gets / is getting better. I wish you the best in life ♡

[@spacewargamer4181]

Sorry

[@ainimimin]

Hello! It's been a year, I know I'm really late but how are you doing? I hope you're doing better. Please remember that there's always something worth living for, there's always someone out there who will listen to you, things will get better! Even if it seems like a never ending loop of pain and that everything is going against you, trust me, a complete stranger, when I say this. It will get better, tomorrow will come, you aren't alone and you never will be. I hope you're doing better ❤️

[@neptune1247]

I feal you I'm not old enuff for college but my uncle Peter passed away from cancer and my bearded dragon died last night.

[@faze3638]

Hello there, I know this is late but I just want to say that you will be okay, not now but soon hopefully. Been there to the point of my life that wanted to die but you know what keep living and someday you'll eventually feel like it once again. How are you my friend?

[@bird4393]

God the end of this song always get me... The power you put in your voice as you say "Living on" is truly wonderful and always bring me to tears when I listen to this song.

[@Soraya-San]

"i dont care to die i wouldnt mind a bit, but if someone i loved did i kinda wish i did" man i really am glad that will steton made a english version of this mafumafu really made the lyrics hit HARD!

[@rcrechcimafranca2767]

Life is just a beautiful lie to believe while death is a hurtful truth we can never avoid.

[@GeoGamerArtistVlogger]

Um hi I was wondering if I could use your comment in a song I'm writing. It fits the theme and I just like it in general

[@rcrechcimafranca2767]

@@GeoGamerArtistVlogger Oh sure, you can

[@GeoGamerArtistVlogger]

@@rcrechcimafranca2767 thank you!!!

[@rcrechcimafranca2767]

@@GeoGamerArtistVlogger I'll be looking forward to your song.

[@herrscherofsweets9583]

R/im14andthisisdeep

[@sasamis.2826]

Thank you for covering this song! Been waiting for someone to cover it and I love your voice

[@qp439]

I swear to god you’re one of the most underrated vocal out cover singers and English version writers. I love the lower and fuller tone of your voice, it’s so satisfying and pleasant. Don’t even get me started on how on how excellent you are at rhyming the English while still conveying the deep emotions and meaning of songs. You’re an absolute pleasure to listen to 😭🙏💖💖