The Armstrong and Miller Show | Hitler Has Only Got One Ball

[@edwalgino1]

The nazi officer has a P38 and the soldier has a MP-40. Love the effort for accuracy they put in a comic sketch.

[@gwishart]

It helps that they have access to the BBC's props and costume department; and their resident historical advisers.

[@itsalmostfun8567]

NCOs and junior officers have MP-40 Soldiers have Kar98Ks

[@DruUnderwood-ds2vb]

@@gwishart kzbin.info/www/bejne/f4vbioWQmdZlhpI

[@droidmodz]

​@@gwishartbig black cocks?

[@lordbeaverhistory]

​@@itsalmostfun8567Sailors and MP were also sometimes handed that

[@owlygoth]

The fact everyone got it on the "honk" alone is hilarious

[@grantm6514]

It makes me wonder if, in hindsight, they could have been a little more subtle at 1:00 and not said the word 'ball' - the audience would have had to work harder to work out what Hitler had only one of, but the honk would then have been confirmation to everyone who guessed correctly.

[@TONflare]

Can someone explain to me why the honk is a big deal

[@matthewgriffiths5005]

The intonation of the train honk is the same as the first two notes of the final song, the line he completes on the piano after

[@magburner]

We used to sing this on the school yards in the 80's, but the words were different. They went: Hitler has only got one ball, The other is in the Albert Hall, His mother, the dirty bugger, Cut it off when he was small.

[@Garfie489]

magburner Its sometimes sung in verses with various variations. The albert hall is usually first as the description of how Hitler came to only have one ball, followed by the above to then describe the other party members in more general terms. Other versions exist where the fishes get out their dishes, and then have scollops and bollocks for tea

[@ShevaBurton]

We sang it in our playgrounds, 60s that way, too.

[@HattielyEverAfter1995]

We did to but in the 00’s x

[@harrynunchuks6231]

NOICE!

[@letoubib21]

@ magburner *_"We used to sing this on the school yards in the 80's[...] Cut it off when he was small."_* Fella, that's pretty good, too...

[@user-kt3zv1cm5j]

This is hilarious by itself, but the knowing laugh that comes the second the train honks is just the cherry on top 😂

[@guharup]

Car honks

[@patagualianmostly7437]

@@guharup No, sorry, it's the sound made by British trains...not a car.

[@hazelbarnes514]

@@patagualianmostly7437 you’ve got to be thinking about the time period here

[@Grizzly01]

@@hazelbarnes514 No, it's a train honk. The anachronism is part of the humour.

[@hazelbarnes514]

@@Grizzly01 oh I see! oh yeah I get that now, thanks, I like jokes like that

[@youknowitstrue4182]

Without doubt the best comedy sketch I've ever seen and the high point is not even a spoken word. Brilliant.

[@Unknown-ln3bm]

The Man in the High Castle is the Only Reason why im here 😂

[@mouhammeda.moustafa9949]

we all the same man !!

[@sandiban36]

Same here man 👍

[@EmilyWeeks56]

Same lol

[@albertovelez-grilo3967]

Same! ahahaah

[@Kenshiro3rd]

My history teacher is. XD

[@CountessMaryaZaleska]

It is interesting to think whether Reinhart Heydrich would have ever made it into the lyrics at some point. He was one of the most evil Nazis - yet he's often the least mentioned in general. Possibly because he was assassinated in 1942, and he didn't make it to the end of the war, yet it was he who laid the ground work for all the logistics of the holocaust, at Wannsee.

[@DGol2015]

I think he was relatively unknown for Americans during the war. We only found out about his role in organizing the holocaust after the war.

[@23splenetix]

what was the status of his testicles?

[@Normal_Boii]

probably burned

[@squamish4244]

Definitely because he was killed in 1942. Right when the war had turned into a truly 'world war'.

[@lordbeaverhistory]

@@DGol2015 i think he wouldnt have got a team of assasins trained by british forces sent to kill him if it wasnt for his importance

[@youknowitstrue4182]

I watch a lot of comedy and this is possibly the funniest thing I have seen. I almost urinated when that horn sounded. Pure Gold.

[@TVJake-uy5lt]

"Urinated" idk if your american or not but from where I'm from we say pissed ourselves

[@choppersangel]

I'm guessing they thought it more polite! @@TVJake-uy5lt

[@grumpyaustralian6631]

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever discovered on the internet

[@burtlangoustine1]

Check out 'Star Trek on Acid'

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

LMFAO! Brilliant! That horn of the truck that pulled up outside won the war!

[@SPM0717]

I think that was a train actually.

[@VickersDoorter]

@@SPM0717 And the horn on a 1970s diesel locomotive at that!

[@sparky4878]

Definitely a train, out of period, can hear the track sound

[@CS_Blitzen]

Isn't the ending of the URL so fitting?

[@comradebusman3]

oh

[@comradebusman3]

my

[@comradebusman3]

god

[@meaterschmitt8045]

omfg

[@coolbreeze4242]

😂😂🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[@MrStephenRGilman]

For some reason, I always hope to see Mitchell and Webb doing cameos in Armstrong and Miller sketches.

[@rsr789]

And vice-versa.

[@helenosa5621]

Well they did the one sketch together for charity. I really like both duos a lot. kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3jTZXese6qanpo (just in case you don't know it)

[@kflem80]

Mitchell & Webb could be the baddies

[@captainbirdsi3502]

They were writers for Armstrong and Miller.

[@tomwh1993]

There was a crossover sketch for comic relief with the fighter pilots

[@Cwmbran1984]

“Testes, Testes, the Führer has only one!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@rossdsouza]

I bet none of you noticed the URL for this video. When you see it its like the universe has perfected itself and everything is in balance again

[@nagaokagetora8562]

Lmao

[@TheWirksworthGunroom]

I noticed it to be honest.

[@kcufbla]

That is brilliant. Thank you :))

[@valentinlageot4101]

can we be mad against them from trolling him beyond the grave?

[@UltraEpicVids]

When you realize that if Hitler indeed only had one ball nobody would ever know

[@goweresque]

Umm, he actually did. The Russians autopsied his body in 1945 and documented that he only had one testicle. Its all in this World at War episode: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqa0cqh9hJ6VpMU

[@waqasahmed939]

@@goweresque So Hitler was angry because he only had one ball. Imagine if Hitler had two. Maybe there wouldn't be a genocide

[@jackhudner3804]

He lost it to a rifle shot in the first world war I believe

[@mannerheim6208]

A doctor has it in hitlers examination

[@michaelleblanc7283]

Great stuff ! Brings back memories of our local Royal Canadian Legion, when after the prudes left for the evenings, my father would tickled the piano keys and the 'real veterans' & wives sang all their favourite 'bawdy' songs, picked up keeping good 'bad company' in British pubs. What an 'eye opener' for an innocent 18 year-old recently turned legal drinking age to experience. Ended the old child-parent relationship and opened the new child-friend phase.

[@SurvivingTheApocalypse]

This isn’t even the full sketch. There is at least another 30 seconds showing German soldiers reacting to the song.

[@shinystones]

Do you have a link?

[@microtree47]

m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/hn_PZmStjJVkkKc

[@HoRNET_FPV]

Who is here because of the song in The Man in the High Castle? :P

[@steveshaw8991]

yup

[@mouhammeda.moustafa9949]

+1

[@andrewdevine3920]

You!

[@user-ve3jk4uc3o]

Peneloppe Beats nope just bridge over the river kai

[@alexniwinski8984]

@@user-ve3jk4uc3o that's the wrong song the name of the song you are thinking of is Colonial Bogey March

[@paulrandolph4171]

When I was at school in 1950s we sung this a lot .

[@rudranshkefacts3256]

And we are studying about this in this year

[@ohokayKu]

Bro are you 80 years old

[@ashleyhoward8926]

Sang.

[@Leamick]

A ice cream truck has just been playing the tune, and my kids went running after it and I'm getting strange looks for singing this the song lol

[@gerhardtrido7103]

English prisoners of war whistled this tune in the equally beautiful film Bridge over the River Kwai. They say that according to the original plan, they were supposed not to whistle but to sing, but the director had to change the script. Why? Yes, because the text of this march was not very decent. Practically, very indecent.) Hitler has only got one ball, Goring has two but very small, Himmler has something sim'lar, But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all. Hitler has only got one ball, The other is in the Albert Hall His mother, the dirty bugger, Cut it off when he was small. She threw it over West Germany, It landed in the deep blue sea, The fishes got out their dishes, And had scallops and bollocks for tea. 😆

[@musmus-culus]

I'm not sure if it matters much but according to Wikipedia the director cut off the lyrics out of respect for the original composer's widow.

[@MrMi1994]

I always heard that she lobbed it over a conker tree…

[@rithvikmuthyalapati9754]

Weren't they just whistling the Colonel Bogey March?

[@ashleyhoward8926]

WEST Germany?

[@denvan3143]

Those heroes whose songs were sung but were themselves unsung should be sung.

[@Fedakeen]

This is the sketch that introduced me to Armstrong and Miller and by God, it is still my favorite despite all their other great sketches.

[@TheCaptain64]

Sang this as kids in the 60s 70s in the school playground, with "And two world wars and one world cup" tagged on .

[@WilliamPalmer-y1n]

One of the greatest comedy sketches ever written. Armstrong & Miller and criminally underrated.

[@diamonddavemc]

This and their Kennedy Assassination sketches are two of the best sketches in decades.

[@Macho_Fantastico]

Don't remember seeing this sketch before, just brilliant.

[@robertgavin980]

The acting is superb, the whole series was fantastic 👍

[@TheVickersDoorter]

2:54 that train horn is from a 1960s onwards diesel. WW2 in the UK was steam. But then I guess it wouldn't be funny - isn't it?

[@nickbarsoum352]

Was just looking for the song. This was above and beyond anything I could have hoped for

[@johnsmith9903]

I rewrote it BANNON, HAS ONLY GOT ONE BALL MELANIA, HAS TWO BUT VERY SMALL MILLER, IS KINDA SIMILAR AND DONALD, HAS NO BALLS, AT ALL.

[@wizardgherkin]

2:20 carnival of venice is song name

[@beaugilbert1350]

I remember this ditty from a very funny episode of "Dad's Army". Series six episode one 'Deadly Attachment' Watch this episode and then look at the superb German tv series "Das Boot" about a U-boat crew - there is a shorter film version. British humour during WW2 and the reality of what they were fighting against. Humour has a power all its own. Waffle over!

[@elliotttalksf1825]

One of my favourite ever sketches 😂😂

[@yatsumleung8618]

Wait, isn't the minister in 3:35 from Horrible Histories??? EDIT: YES!!! He's Jim Howick!

[@KasiaWesoek]

Lyrics: Hitler Has only got one ball Goering Has two, but very small Himmler Has something similar And oh poor Goebbels Has no balls At all.

[@majed4335]

I read that with the YMCA rhythm.

[@williamaitken4544]

But Goebbels had five children

[@Anarchik654]

Hitler has only got one ball The other is in the albert hall his mother the dirty bugger chopped it of when Hitler was small she threw it into the apple tree the wind blew it into the deep blue sea where they had scallops and bollocks for tea

[@cowetareserve]

As an avid WW2 History nerd I’m ashamed to say Man in theHigh Castle brought me here.

[@rdhunkins]

I thought the “Testes, Testes, the Fueher has only one…” sung to “Daisy” was pretty good too. 😂

[@germancastano2241]

I just find this song. I'm writing my thesis in education, and there was a reference to "Lake Wobegon", so I looked it at and I ended up seeing "The News from Lake Wobegon - 7/2/2016" Garrison Keillor mentioned "Limericks" I did not know was that, but I want to become a writer so I had to learn, anyway, Garrison mentioned this Limerick and I arrived here. This song is going to be with me for the rest of my life.

[@iannickCZ]

2:50 candle-off, 2:52 candle-on.

[@Unknown-sf3pc]

Of you're here for the song it starts at 3:11

[@13thdukeofwybourne69]

The funny part is the setup IMHO The punchline (song) is quite well known.

[@Brave_Sir_Robin]

There’s a lesser known second verse that goes like: “Rommel has four or five, I guess, No one's quite sure 'bout Rudolf Hess, Schmeling's always yelling, But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.”

[@penttijuvonen3257]

I just love british comedy! By the way, we sing in Finland nowadays:putler got one ball!

[@MAGICDRAGONPETE]

Maybe the funniest sketch ever.

[@itsmevarnami]

The guy at the end is from Horrible Histories.

[@busybillyb33]

2:17 Can someone list out for me all the actual pieces he was attempting?

[@JavertRA]

Not sure about the first two but the last one is "Daisy Bell."

[@jurygalati5732]

I'm here because my grandma's bird started singing it. And I also watched The Man In The High Castle

[@justinj2144]

2:40 that sounds familiar.. what melody/tune did that originate from?

[@Larszard]

The song Daisy Bell!

[@cerileversedge4351]

I absolutely love this skit xx

[@kevinoldham8421]

I like the facial expressions and timing. Spot on.😂😂😂

[@CamilomboNPC]

🎵Hitlеr has only got one ball🎶 🎵 Goring has two but very small🎶 🎵 Himmler has something similar🎶 🎵and poor old Goebbels has not balls at all 🎶 🎵Rommel has 4 or 5 i guess🎶 🎵No one's quite sure about Rudolph hess🎶 🎵Schelling's always yelling🎶 🎵And poor old Goebbels has not balls at all🎶

[@hdgndymydndtmfumfum]

3:10 aaaah music to my ears

[@ethanschoales6563]

2:29 Is that tune from Mary Poppins

[@brendalandes1813]

I have watched this umpteen times, Always fabulous From Israel

[@Trek001]

I like how they dubbed over a Class 37 horn despite it being 20 odd years before they were made

[@georgespencer8429]

Could have been a pre-war Southern Railway multiple unit.

[@Trek001]

@@georgespencer8429 No, the tone is too different for it to be that

[@erictaylor5462]

0:30 "Oh, it seems I have even less time than I thought. Good bye. Give Princess Elizabeth a kiss for me. She's going to be Queen for quite some time, you know.

[@omegacheese6095]

3:10

[@TheDigitalNerd]

i wonder if "Jew" being in the HTTP was intentional or not

[@biscuitsandbananas3433]

Look up Tom Scott's video on how KZbin urls work. It's entirely a coincidence.

[@hollypebbles]

@@biscuitsandbananas3433 Y1D would'nt be YID then?

[@1d10tcannotmakeusername]

@@biscuitsandbananas3433 Synchronicity.

[@freyavose4559]

Everyone is here cause of the man in the high castle but I'm here cause my step dad keeps singing it over and over again

[@Matt7895]

Why is nobody in the comments talking about "If Hannibal had menopause up in the air"? What song would THAT have been?

[@QueenKatz8]

ROFLMAO! The "Hitler Song" is actually sung to the tune of the 'Colonel Bogey March'. It was used as the theme tune for the film, "Bridge on the River Kwai" back in the 1960s. I can never hear that tune without singing the "Hitler has ..." words, even during Anzac Day marches here in Australia where there is ALWAYS at least one band that plays it. I learned the words from a schoolfriend when I was a kid; she'd learned it from her dad who was a WW2 veteran. A grand old tune from the days when Britannia was great. "Hitler has only got one ball, Goring has two but they are small, Himmler has something simm'ler, and poor old Goeballs has no balls at all! Wonderful stuff!

[@metal_musician4458]

Haha me too. I recently watched bridge on the river kwai. And I sang that thought the wistle 🤣🤣

That was the point

[@herestoyoudoc]

the original plan for "bridge over river Kwai" was for the soldiers to actually sing "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" as a form of protest but "Colonel Bogey March" was still under copyright and the estate holder objected to this and refused to license the music to the film if they went with this plan, so they came up with the whistling bit

[@willparker9874]

The lorry horn cracked me up

[@scottpeacock5492]

That was a train 🚉 horn 📯 , not a lorry 🚛

[@Danny-qq5nr]

Defo a train

[@N17C1]

This is a magnificent piece of comedy

[@alyciamarrison2916]

I thought the officers at the end would say "He's cracked it!"!

[@danefilander6306]

Oh my gosh that was absolutely hilarious video.

[@patriciasanderson2171]

So British, I knew this at school in the late 80s

[@tonycavanagh1929]

Soon as I heard the train whistle

[@modulu]

Lyrics: *Hitler* has only got one ball, *Göring* has two but very small, *Himmler* was rather similar, But poor old Goebbels had no balls at all

[@YourOwnDa]

Never seen this show before but this is a great sketch, very Mitchell and Webb-esque

[@user-hi4sm3ig5j]

I think M&W wrote sone of this programme so it could be.

[@beaugilbert1350]

Think I got the "Dad's Army" episode wrong - that was the 'Hitler is a twerp' song by a defiant Private Pike.

[@aidanhschofield]

A version for our times. Putin has only got one ball. Lukashenko has two but very small Kadyrov, his wife is weary of, And Medvedev has no balls at all.

[@SovietRussianBear]

Biden has only got one ball! Sunak has 2 but very small! Macron can't get a hard-on! And poor Scholz has no balls at all!

[@dying101666]

I'm here cause I'm fascinated with WW2 and the rise and fall of Nazi Germany. that's it.

[@aaronlojewski6819]

Best video, ever.

[@rustyrussell7456]

My mate asked me to sing this earlier and suddenly this comes up in my recommended, hmm....

[@douglasbabb1725]

2:40-2:45: I swear I know that tune from somewhere.

[@kevinoldham8421]

It's the music hall song daisy, daisy, give me your answer do.

[@motherrussia252]

Thank you! This is brilliant 😁

[@josephbennett4236]

Unfortunately, this isn't the complete sketch. It's a shame they have edited off the final scene.

[@ethanschoales6563]

The song was around when Hitler was alive

[@TheHutchy01]

It'd have been worth getting shot just to sing it at him.

[@junkhead_92]

It was written by the british army to mock the nazis

[@denvan3143]

Statistically, that’s 1.25 per Nazi.

[@specialpatrolgroup92]

We were always taught that the other was in the Albert Hall.

[@Strawberry-12.]

Where did you get this video? The British parthe

[@banditbobbyhill4747]

this might be the funniest thing ive ever seen

[@ZT742]

They cut off the end where the Germans have a go at writing one too! “Churchill hat einen massive kock!”

[@FizzFizzFizzFizzFizz]

That URL tho...

[@ingoseidinger424]

Actually I would have liked the Daisy Bell version even more xd

[@athull08]

I wrote a full version of the Daisy Bell tune when this sketch first came out. Testes, testes, the Fuhrer has only one And the best is poor old Goebbels has none And what about Goring and Himmler? Their problems are both similar They have two balls, but they're so small They look like they're almost gone!

[@rks581]

2:40 On the occasion of the spaying of my incredibly cute cat named Daisy, I have been able to complete "Testes! Testes! The Führer has only one..." A little love song from Adi to Eva, it's too funny for KZbin, but it ends "in the bunker I built for you." Is "If Hannibal had many balls up in the air" based on a real song?

[@MrDaiseymay]

These two were GREAT together, I have their DVD. what Happened? Armstrong had success with several Music CDs ( he has a great voice) But since? he heads that pointless panel quiz show called, Pointless. As for Miller ??? shame.

[@claireduncan138]

Y have I just come across this now jeez man I wonder what hilter thought off this song never find out I'm howling

[@FatNorthernBigot]

Finally, I'll pass my GCSE History.

[@erictaylor5462]

Has anyone noticed the last three letters of the ID for this video? Was it deliberate, or a coincident?

[@JonasPlanck]

Look at the video URL.

[@adamwright9517]

Where's the bit about Churchill?

[@CaptainLumpyDog]

Adam Wright Churchill hast eine massive cock!

[@jamesguy1030]

It’s called the Mandela effect. . Research it . . !

[@SurvivingTheApocalypse]

Yeah, this is missing the last 20 seconds. There is a German spy outside the door and it goes back to a room full of German officers singing about Churchill having a large penis.

[@SurvivingTheApocalypse]

Full version with proper ending :- kzbin.info/www/bejne/g5bXc4SJoKmIpaM

[@listerofsmeg884]

@@CaptainLumpyDog nein, nein! Das ist gut yar?!

[@bobsingh7949]

Brilliant

[@chesshead]

Sadly, the train driver has no clue what he achieved.

[@garystephenson7142]

Priceless

[@Quinoxe]

My generation was played with Colonel Bogey but it went like this: Hitler, has only got one ball. Stalin, had two but very small. Hitler, has something similar, but that is nothing compared to mine.

[@LUNE.44]

Diamonic Cryztal That doesn’t rhyme lol

[@penttijuvonen3257]

Putin, one Ball! 😃🇫🇮

[@grumpyaustralian6631]

Putler, he’s only got one ball, Pooh bear has two but they’re very small, bash’ar has something simil’ar, but big ole Kim has no balls at all

[@JohanHerrenberg]

Brilliant sketch.

[@eamongleeson6700]

I’m here because of a meme and I liked the song

[@acd505]

Leon here and that’s also pretty 📮

[@AndRewUK24]

Who's here because they remember when the show was first broadcast?

[@samuelhrabcak855]

Putin has only got one ball...

[@Pommern712]

Wagner has two but very small