Having Mommy Issues Part 2: Signs Of Mommy Issues In Men

[@tealeafs3824]

I dated a man that had mommy issues. His dad left his mom for another woman when he was just a kid, and he grew up being constantly criticised, was overweight, struggled to get girls attention, etc. He was the most manipulative being I ever met. The only moments when he was honest, were when he was laying into my arms because he was thirsty for affection but incapable to give something back. He lied very easily and became oversensitive when asked for accountability.

[@237.zr9]

im sorry you had to go through that but we’re not all like that. i have mommy issues as well but instead i got cheated on 3 times with 2 of my previous partners and i never hurt them, manipulated them, gaslighted them, etc. bad people exist everywhere. i hope you dont think all men with mommy issues are bad men who are thirsty for validation. i, for example just wish to be taken care of for once instead of taking care of everyone else all the time. never had any intention to use a woman for affection and not give anything back. i know you didnt say all guys are like this but some people think that

[@randolph4421]

Daddy issues praised in pop culture but when we talk about maternal trauma...

[@SKOLAH]

Daddy issues aren't praised! They're used as an insult to women. Plenty of men say 'She's got Daddy issues,' as an insult, using the trauma as the insult. It's vile. But you just keep on playing 'It's unfair'...

[@randolph4421]

@@SKOLAH stop the cap

[@meowiestwo]

@@randolph4421 daddy issues are absolutely stigmatized kiddo

[@randolph4421]

@@meowiestwo wrong, kiddo

[@meowiestwo]

@@randolph4421 i am old enough to be your parent

[@robinx5851]

Alright let's see how bad mine is: Anger issues: No Emotionally Unavailavle: Yes Manipulative: No Misoginistic: No Worship mom: Yes (For the isolation part, not the coddling) Care what others think: Yes Driven by guilt: Yes Looking for a mom: Yes, just wanna be held I guess Fear of abandonment: Yes

[@jackieflynt995]

❤

[@bonabbyteit1516]

Same here dude My mom is a great person and never manipulates me and she is far beyond selfish, she is just emotionally away from me

[@robinx5851]

@@bonabbyteit1516 Mine was, although she might not have realized it. But I feel you man, having an emotionally distant mom sucks really bad. Finding sensitive friends has helped me a lot with getting over this emotional gap inside me.

[@bonabbyteit1516]

@@robinx5851 yeah my best friend is also kind of sensitive and as you mentioned I also managed to learn more and more about that gap and the need for a mother figure in my partner.

[@zenasire2219]

I've never heard someone read me like some fucking book...all this time I thought it's just my personality and I might be born this way and to be the best version of myself I have to embrace it. this makes my head hurt in a weird way but I won't let these stupid issues step in my way and purpose in life. for any man reading listen bro..we can overcome this by ourselves just believe that you're the fucking man and you can do it

[@donjojo4756]

Same here i feel so exposed lmao

[@vashayre9828]

As a guy I can relate to all of this. It all comes down to emotional maturity, which you lack when you are not taught this as a child. Therefore all your solutions are very child like. Temper tantrums, neediness, running away from expiring negative emotions. The best teaching I ever got was you are the creator of your emotions not the victim of them. Once you realise that, this whole paradigm falls apart. You can never be abandoned you can only abandon yourself.

[@vashayre9828]

Experiencing*

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

Perfectly said!

[@basim6804]

Thanks

[@jackieflynt995]

Exactly! Well said. Takes some work to understand & implement, but important

[@crimson_void]

2nd paragraph hits hard

[@somebody5961]

I already knew I have mommy issues, but darn it... Anger issues, a bit manipulative (but not consciously, I'm only starting to realize it recently), I keep looking for maternal women who are affectionate and nurturing and so on, extreme fear of abandonment and specifically losing key female figures in my life... anyway, you get the idea, mommy issues galore. Getting to the point - thank you for posting this video.

[@jackieflynt995]

❤

[@alim555abdul]

Thank you for this, anyone else trying to hold back tears watching this?

[@celyon6299]

ye , too specific

[@Jwheels89]

I was ok up until the part about taking things personally from not being able to set boundaries.

[@No-uw3ry]

Another type of mother that damages her boy's subconscious mind is the mom who despises masculinity due to events earlier in her life. She subtly works to sabotage her son's development into proper man. She wishes her son to be more of a performative eunuch who is cute, but dependent on her. She certainly hates the idea of her son being sexually successful. She insists on buying all his clothes, which will make him look unattractive and un-serious. If she is paired with a passive, weak father (or no father at all), then there is no one to protect the boy from this head trip. Speaking from first hand experience, this is a hard realization to come to when your best years are already behind you, and you wasted them being the effete, performative clown your mother approved of.

[@No-uw3ry]

I just want to add to this that I do not hate women due to these experiences. In fact, I tend to see a lot of light and hope from the majority of women who have better maternal instincts, and actually want to see their sons develop into independent men. I remember as a kid, when I would stay at a friend's house who had a stay at home mom, I felt this incredible lightness in the air. It was like some of my pain was taken away just by being in the vicinity of a proper maternal figure.

[@Kichidakatsumi]

Very informative! Thanks a lot! I’ve actually witnessed this, and only know it’s making sense!

[@krvr989]

Swear to god the power that some psychologists hold in their hands is terrifying

[@Tay-li4ic]

My husband said something to me the other day that led me to wonder if he’s suffering from mommy issues. Hence my coming here. You explained everything so well. It all makes perfect sense. I’m definitely following up this video with your how to heal video. I guess from there I’ll have a decision to make whether to stay or leave.

[@msher33]

Misogyny is a byproduct of bad mothers! Women need to take responsibility and they need to be held responsible!! There should be tests that women must be able to pass before becoming parents

[@lulul0l039]

Parents in general should be held to a standard and access to birth control and abortions ensured. Generational trauma is inherited in many ways and we each should do our part breaking the cycle. Bad fathers also raise instable sovinistic children

[@luanamanzana]

When I met my boyfriend I felt like he was unconsciously!! using me to fill some void (because I can have motherly traits sometimes like taking care of people I love, worrying for their safety, etc.) and even tho I tried to ignore that and fell in love with him, I've realized his mommy issues are really clear, what should I do?

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

Definitely have boundaries and start to say no more to overly giving and taking care. Check in with yourself and how something will affect you before you agree to do something and say no if it hurts you. You’re drained or you just don’t want to. Have a conversation with him and how the things he does affects you

[@Godfailedyoustophumpinghisleg]

​@MissyTheLifeHelper So basically set a lot of rules and threaten to leave if not followed, im sure he is used to rejection and abandonment under a callous female figures ruleset.

[@raikerthedestroyer4092]

Pretty late to find this video but even with this being a part 2 for men. As a man who has a mom who literally wasn’t there to just be there and being moved around pretty frequently, and being suppressed emotionally and my own childhood trauma BS. I show a lot of anger even with very small things or when something small happens and the phrases “man up” and “men don’t cry” or “you’ll get sick if you cry” also “I’ll give you something to cry about” were told to me constantly but I still cry and feel things it’s a weird line I tread with my parents and grandparents. I absolutely feel the emotional unavailability part as I don’t like to get that deep or emotional with most people as I’m a bit more logical and pretty reserved so emotion is something I kinda struggle to show and not due to a lack of trying it’s just I feel like people will use that against me. I tend to be very honest and I’ve never once thought of manipulating anyone as I’m kinda to stupid to try ha. I kinda put women on a pedestal not just my mom but in general and the “never got to say no to her” is so spot on as well she was in and out of my life for 12 years (23 now). I do care what others think but not due to my mom but just me and my borderline ADHD kinda imposter syndrome and constantly comparing myself to my brother. I hate that looking for a mother is overly accurate to my current situation as I love that aspect but also again I have deep rooted other issues stemming from well my mom wasn’t with me for a good portion of my life from 13 and above I finally got to stay with her more, only for other problems to arise as from 3-12 I had been with my grandparents and aunts a lot, and never seeing my mom unless my dad was home. Granted as I’ve lived I have gotten a lot better with my mom but as I’m still looking for a “mommy” it’s still not exactly a 100% thing yet. My anxiety is even so bad I can hardly ask her for anything and I never said this but uh I got no counselling, no therapy, no one to really talk to about any of this. So imagine that a child who only heard screaming a good 60% of the time he was home, a brother who terrorized him almost daily and grandparents we were forced to stay with emotionally neglected only me. So it’s pretty obvious I’ve got a myriad of issues that have gone Unassessed, undiagnosed and obviously untreated because it’s been years my personality has all but been all but shoved to the back of my mind.

[@lifetimeactor6789]

Your videos are so great! You pack them with so much good info. Thanks for all your hard work! 🙂👍

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

Thank you so much! Appreciate that and you watching

[@JulesB93]

Literally described the borderline narcissist that was in my life. Enmeshment is not talked about enough.

[@drapered7762]

Thank you for this. This is an immense help.

[@Gayrota]

Came to see if a meme was true and I will got out processing I may have mommy issues as a woman. Okay, nice video girl

[@KingMe2]

This made me cry.

[@avelandara3823]

interesting I have nice relationship with my mom and for some reason when I look for a woman, I look for a woman like my mom because of the beautiful relationship she has with dad because I know that in a way I am turning into him so to make life easier I rather change nothing from the beautiful picture they painted for me in my childhood till now so I can't relate.

[@RonanCayrean]

I feel like for me I had troubles with my emotions. I have always been an emotional person and was when I was younger and my mother did not let me express those emotions and didn’t let me be myself. But over the years I’ve started to accept myself and my emotions and have little to no trouble dealing with them. Purely through the help of friends and later my sister. The problem now being that I feel like I am looking for a mom in a relationship. All the other points you made are no longer a problem or never were. It’s just that now I have this deficiency of emotional love which I didn’t have in my childhood and am craving now. Also accompanied by sudden moments of extreme insecurity, feeling misunderstood and feeling emotionally paralysed. And this is the thing I’m struggling with most; the fact that I am craving this love and emotional attention which I never got. And I feel that the fact I’ve this deficiency of motherly love that it will be hard for me to have good romantic relationships.

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

Hey RonanCayrean, Kudos to you for working through the things you did and working through your emotions. Not easy at all! I completely hear you and empathize with feeling that hole where a loving mom should have filled. That is a deep inner child wound that many face when they lack having a motherly figure. Since we unfortunately can’t go back and give you a loving mom, you have to be that loving mom for yourself. I talk more about this in how yo heal and also my videos on healing the mother wound. I also have some meditations on my meditation channel that may help as well to start on that journey of self parenting so you no longer seek it from others. You need to learn how to be nurturing and self soothe towards yourself and you will notice you won’t look for it as much in your relationships. Wishing you healing and peace

[@sala320]

I hate my mom

[@ifan328]

Darm I relate on almost all of these

[@Sly-Moose]

My fictional character had his mom ditch out on the family when he was 4yo. The day she left, she had said she didn't want a second child (his baby brother) right in front of him as she left. Not to mention the mom had given the dad HIV. Not only did the dad have to take on both parental rolls, but so did the older brother as well, when their dad was at work and such. So rather than building animosity towards his younger brother, he chose to protect his lil bro instead. He absolutely HATES his mom tho. Like you would see the devil in his eyes if bullies dare bring up his mom to try to insult him or something He's very much a people pleaser and that ties in with his work, helping as many people as he can to the point he'd be taken advantage of. As for his relationship with his girlfriend. Well, she has also been dating someone else but he isn't ok with that but has been secretly keeping that opinion to himself and has been putting up with it cuz he feels it's what he deserves (also fueled by the SA he went through), so he doesn't wanna lose her if he dare say anything. He very much loves and respects his dad tho, almost to a blind faith degree. He even goes so much as to risk his very life street racing and gambling at pool bars just to rack up enough money to help pay for his dad's HIV medication. They broke and live in a trailer park, but as a family, they rich in familial connection.

[@gabel13]

You are spot on thank you so much

[@marimarsilva4629]

I’m a girl and I feel like I have mommy issues not daddy issues me and him got along great

[@tomk2926]

I love how this amateur therapist chalks it up to “your mom said man up because emotions are for girls.” No sweety, our moms went out of their way to abuse us in the most horrific ways that you would vomit if you knew the details. Stop minimizing the evil abuse that women are capable of. It’s time to end this men = toxic and women = innocent victims of social conditioning narrative

[@umaninstrumentalityprject2989]

I don't think my mum every did anything wrong and don't hate her but feel exactly like this. I also think it's the root of my anger issues but i feel like i don't want to deal with it

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

Well if you’re suffering and can relate to this video, doesn’t that show she did do some things wrong? No one can’t ever do anything wrong, we all have our flaws. Having anger issues can be really exhausting and painful. Doing the hard work so you no longer have to suffer is temporarily uncomfortable but leads to long term relief and happiness

[@OSMusic_91]

I love this so much!

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

Thank you! So glad you're enjoying the series

[@olabodealamu5297]

Thanks a lot for this

[@daytime2189]

What if i didn't have a mother figure when i was a kid? (Between age 5-17)

[@MayerSameh]

thanks for this video

[@bubumcheywood1456]

The person i think has a Narcissist disorder ticks all these . Are they Narcissist or have mother issues ? Is there a way of telling the two apart without a diagnosis?

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

The diagnosis really does not matter. It really is about detecting the behavior and then learning how to deal with it or determining how much you want to be involved with this person. Hope that helps!

[@DopeTheG]

I personally think that men with mommy issues can make the best partners.

[@sala320]

Why?

[@DopeTheG]

@sala320 Well, because men with mommy issues don't let women walk over them. They never had a man in there life therfore they kinda are not afraid to do anything. They do what they want. Their are dangers, tho. These men don't usually have emotional control. So, there for their very violent. They usually don't have a dad in their life ether so, there able to get away with alot more. Men with single mothers and who have mommy issues have a lot more potential I believe. They just need to get on the right track and I think a woman can help balance them. They are unique. I honestly do believe this. Women should want to get these men on the right track. It requires a very strong and intelligent woman who has the ability to do it.

[@DopeTheG]

@sala320 idk I'm probably not making sense. But, point is that men with mommy issues can become something great. Men without out mommy issues usually just the same as most men out there. Don't women want something instresting.

[@sala320]

@@DopeTheG ha…. Women want safety

[@taliatut]

@@DopeTheGhow can they become great if they haven’t even been able to separate from their mother’s control? They are psychological children. Some women will like men like that but only those who want to control and dominate themselves so the cycle will repeat again for this guy. If such a guy wants to grow up and truly become a great man, he needs to look for a woman they usually call high maintenance. Not the one who caters to him in everything, because she won’t make him grow. Men need to grow.

[@blazeloccs9808]

How can you help someone with mommy issues

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

Have to start by healing those core wounds and building your way up. Part 4 I talk more about how to heal🙂

[@omargallardo6180]

How do we fix these issues?

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

It’s in part four! but I also have a really detailed course on breaking free from the past which dives into the different emotional wounds in childhood which you can get here the-life-helper.com/step/11-weeks-course-checkout/

[@savanabp]

Damn this is a really good video…

[@peterh18]

not to sound odd but an attractive female mental health professional talking about men with mommy issues is likely to make some men feel good

[@Pleebian94]

If you only care about appearance than you should reevaluate your whole perspective.

[@aortizandrew1]

I always joking around with my ex girlfriends and told them In spanish while throwing a little fit "papi quiere tatas" lol. I was joking with them, did I really mean it? Yes, yes I did lol but You gotta understand that my mom died when I was only 2 or 3 months old ( I didn't remember anything about her only see pictures..)

[@ericabargel2303]

Story of my life!

[@elie6769]

Only do hookups so true. No deep talks

[@OSMusic_91]

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@kathytrev8618]

Lemme see if my bro fits the description

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

👀👀

[@wonkaoil420l5]

6:12

[@_Darkskullet]

Yall do know women also have mommy issues 😢

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

Yes! That’s why there is a part three on mommy issues in women

[@Cumshot-millionare]

I am an 18 year old male and mother issues hurt like alot, it ruined so many parts of my life. I have had a lot of trouble with getting along with my mum she could be very harsh and cruel to me when i was a kid it has caused me so many issues i absolutely hate hugs being touched etc ive never been in a relationship ive just avoided that alltogether i almost dont want it anymore, i am also extremely antisocial at times.

[@ladywrld5863]

For me as a woman this means literally liking boys who are like my mother. I have to take care of them, because they are one huge disaster, I feel I have to help them, save them, and the worst put him first, not me... :(

[@TheLinus1997]

Find a man who puts you first and that would the a problem anymore. That would be ideal, no?

[@5holo457]

I'll take care of you just cause I have mommy issues don't mean a thing 35 and older pls

[@c4rrot.cake13]

same but I have daddy issues

[@G-host0069]

@@TheLinus1997find a man who puts them self first then you , not you first

[@TimOD-hm9eu]

@@TheLinus1997no that won’t be ideal since nobody should put first in a relationship. Both should take care of each other

[@monty1691]

Yo I laughed at almost every point just discovered I have alot of maternal trauma haha

[@elihlecele5972]

Talk about being self- aware

[@notevennelson]

I am trying, mommy😭😭

[@KgotatsoMashabela]

I think women are more brutal towards men when it comes to these issues than towards there fellow woman

[@ujiiiiosjwwj4jr]

Just as men being so brutal towards women and slut shaming them using "daddy issues" regardless of whether the woman has a good or bad relationship with her dad

[@sniffsniffmmm8873]

This helps honestly. I don't communicate with my mom at all bc of the abuse as a child... It maybe a way to discipline me but other times she does it for no reason and pretty did the same with my lil sisters. Plus the beer drinking and stealing money from my dad and my own that I'm suppose to save it for my little sis.

[@urqt5674]

I don’t understand, but I love my mom

[@boribrazy8006]

You know whats crazy tho I got these issues and seem to attract woman with daddy issues shii mad werid💯💯

[@MissyTheLifeHelper]

That makes a ton of sense. You are taught how to treat women through your mom, so if you don't have a good example then you will treat women a certain way that could exemplify their daddy issues

[@pesocheco]

@@MissyTheLifeHelper It’s a curse. Women with daddy issues are draining. Sumtimes mommy issues is just needing constant reassurance and a little compassion for what man goes thru

[@gaithouri]

pfffffff .. it sucks..in so many ways/ lavels.. will we be able to sort this meeeess ????? im 42 and im completely screwed ..

[@jackieflynt995]

Yes, you can sort it out & become a man you are proud of & others respect.

[@acemagalor2519]

I hate how now looking back, a large piece of my personality is now a result of my maternal trauma

[@G-host0069]

You’re so beautiful looking and such great hair

[@SolidSoda]

well, seems like i do have mommy issues... and depression and bipolar have just made it worse, perfect.

[@falloutlupus2135]

How do I heal?

[@Sun.Shine-]

I was watching prince harry's interview and i had a feeling that he has mommy issues due to the demise of Lady Di along with ptsd! Got great info 👏👏

[@juliuscaesart]

Feel like I had this due to my covert narc mom… long journey and process

[@Levelz97]

Great video learnt a lot

[@SergioGarcia-lb2rb]

But can you explain when you hug someone like your grandma and you get that missing mother comfort that has been missing all your life from a neglectful mother

[@donjojo4756]

How can i deal with the anger issues?

[@sala320]

I think you have to mother and parent the rejected part of you and find out why you feel rejected or ashamed of whatever and accept yourself holistically but I’m also learning all this new

[@16477pete]

Nice job.

[@xxxicequeenxxx]

So many dudes have mommy issues. God help these people.

[@Godfailedyoustophumpinghisleg]

I have a distaste for people that act in certian manners. Women should all stop acting in the same manner and should act with more decorum and kindness. You mean to tell me misogyny is the problem rather than women adopting toxic behaviors under the guise of "eqality"