HE GAVE IT TO ME GOOOOOOD & OFTEN, BUT I COOKED, CLEANED, PAID THE BILLS & I GOT TIRED! STORY TIME!

[@catgrace-e2j]

I completely understand why women in their 30s and over go above and beyond for a man. Because society and family drilled it in their heads that if you don't find a man by the time you're 30, you've hit the wall. Some women (unfortunately) genuinely buy into this. Any man is better than no man. I pray this woman heals and learns from this 🙏🏾

[@TatsyanasTravels]

On the flip side, older men like him, would seek out younger women to take care of them in the same manner.

[@deborahohaire5936]

As an older woman girl you cant treat him.like he is your child. If you are.40 and he is 28 ,he is not grown yet and will not stay.He still.needs time to gtow up himself.

[@catgrace-e2j]

@@deborahohaire5936 I and other women know this. That's why I said some women buy into this.

[@maitabasa7693]

I dated a guy same age as me at 40, i have 2 kids he had one. However I noticed he thought he was "the catch". He came twice I cooked we had drinks, 3rd time he came asked for food, I said "what do you take me for? Mother Christmas? I said I have 2 kids not 3. I gave him a lecture & told him there's nothing that puts a woman off than a 'dependent', stingy man. He got it, he bought my kids gifts, every month he bought grocery, he was very generous...why.. because I showed him I won't be used.

[@cynthiahoyi3925]

well done for nipping it in the bud. I truly believe that you only get treated how you allow to be treated. However, Just wondering, had He taken you out a few times before you cooked for him twice? xx

[@leelee185]

Excellent sis

[@hakimkiseeka]

Every sister to sister makes me realize that i need to detox from the pain i have around me , self love and healing

[@ClassicOpinion]

It’s my opinion: ~The outfit Fumi is gorgeous, the hair, the glowing skin,,,,,,yes you are living😇 Keep planting sis~

[@arreyjenny4900]

Aunty Fumi is becoming more beautiful as the years go by. Her glow in this video is breathe taking 😍

[@I-am-Taliesha]

You give the most loving, considerate and thoughtful advice. All while pulling no punches. What magic is this? Lol! Love you, Fumi! Sending prayers for your continued fortitude. We need you out here in these streets!😂🎉❤❤

[@josephinemensah2197]

Auntie Fumi! My 7 month old started laughing as soon as he heard your laughter so now it’s his soundtrack when he acts cranky to get him to laugh! And my hubby is always screaming “Fumi Nation!!!” As soon as he hears me listening to you. In short, we love you in this house! Keep doing you Mama

[@CocoBookClub]

What’s she’s thinking? She’s not his mother. The guy is 28 yr, he’s there temporarily to organize his life at your COST. I’m just saying!

[@wanguikariuki7673]

The relationship is transactional and she knows it. She knows what she needs to do.

[@254pinca]

🇰🇪

[@winniekislev8214]

Run 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️ for your dear life!!! That's a time waster...hungry guy seeking temporary refuge!

[@marie-jeannenagnou4989]

😂 My take away fumi is all I want to carry is my Louis Vuitton! Remain blessed good job. ❤

[@Claraberl]

😂 She is so funny

[@annavargas3367]

Leave him asap. You're losing the best time of your life on him. The good thing is you already know this. Don't be afraid to leave him, you'll regret it if you stay.

[@reneegranger6109]

💯 Agree. 👏🏾👏🏽👏🏻

[@kaoshi_kutie]

PREACHHHH Fumi!! Nothing but gems being dropped ❤️🥰🙏🏼✨

[@themortgagechics_chronicles_ca]

After a divorce and 2 kids… gurl… any male man you let into your life now has to come CORRECT ✅ or not at all!

[@CosmoGold]

Wow Fumi!!!! You really said it all in this one!!!! It begins with self!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ WHEW!!!!! You're looking fabulous as usual!!!!❤❤❤

[@lulu-xt5gs]

Thank you Fumi for the safe space you give us all.We live we love

[@theblackcottonball5987]

At 40, I am more shock she was cleaning and cooking for him eventhough she is the breadwinner in that relationship. She allowed that young leech get away with alot.

[@marygonzalez-pf7cb]

Thanks!

[@janesvarietyfood]

Happy Sunday Fumi and family ❤️❤️❤️🌹🌹🌹👸

[@terrijoyce8362]

I do not like to date younger men, my question is always what does he want with me? Men tend to date younger is my mindset….(that’s just my thinking) so when a younger guy steps to me I am cautious.

[@rennie2611]

My first thought is what he want from me, my first guess is he wants a caregiver.

[@kheleecebrown1799]

Same here l always question them. Either they want a mother or a retirement plan.

[@shirleyvanarsdalecrabtree2880]

Same with some OG’s. They’re finally feeling their mortality and are looking for a nurse maid, caregiver etc also. If you’re equally yoked, and you’d like to share your life with him fine. But don’t fall for the good looking, good smelling, sharp dressing, smooth talking OG’s either unless he’s bringing more than little blue pills to the table. I’m in my younger 70s now, never dated any men my age, so I’m not quite sure how that works. I’ve always had younger husbands or boyfriends that all I had to do was give them a certain look or kiss and it was on. No waiting around for a pill to take effect. I really would only want a man my own age who is equally yoked or fortunate to have much much more than I for companionship.

[@lynnsteed9979]

Me too...I will always have my doubts

[@leelee185]

I’m cautious of anything male

[@jenetwaldenmills8643]

Thank you Fumi Desalu for your Outstanding Advice...You love and respect yourself and pass that love and respect to other women..❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Happey67]

When I was about 16 years old and started to be aware about relationships on any term I realize one has to stand for something or fall for anything. Set boundaries etc. I don't allow anyone to talk to me with disrespect and I do not do that to them. I even had a pastor to shout at me, what did I do ? I left his church. I paid good tithes but excuse me, there are many other churches where the pastors were loving and respectful. That pastor that shouted at me because I said hello, he kept calling (had people calling too) I never looked back. So I do not believe any man or women should treat each other badly. At 40 years old, 25 years old etc. One should have enough knowledge to know what they want and don't want.

[@aeiou0123]

Yea I also left a church where the pastor had the audacity to tell me “you are not that pretty” Out of nowhere. This was a female pastor. I left n never looked back

[@sharlenemullins1030]

Amen😊

[@Nya0951]

Looking so beautiful aunt fumi

[@marygonzalez-pf7cb]

S’cuse me??? What!!! The 40 yr old is raising another child. He’s not in your era he’ll never be compatible as a life mate. He needs to Grow Up. He’s a “holding pattern “ not a forever partner. Enjoy this distraction while it lasts BUT be prepared to let it go and move on. ❤😘👍🏾👍👍🏿👍🏻👍🏽😺

[@Nomathemba_7006]

Wise and very kind words 🙏🏾 ✨️ love, love your content ma'am ❤ he's sensing her low self esteem. I wish her lots of self love ❤️

[@tjcheck1714]

Looking good Fumi😊

[@CocoBookClub]

He’s taking advantage on her because of the age difference!

[@wonderfullymade1135]

Aunty Fums, thank you for this advice. Learning and taking notes.

[@Kaystaybell]

FD-Vold Exactly Fumi I agree w/ur answer Great Advice age does not equal maturity ❤

[@zoejaiattoh1243]

Wow .. big sis .. thanks for the advice .. I was like this what I admire you for . I thank the sister for having the courage to ask this question and situation.. we appreciate you.❤ building sisterhood and empowerment of women is a must. ❤❤❤❤

[@virginiajames2229]

Thanks, fumi I really appreciate you ❤️

[@robinsiciliano8923]

My goodness…..I needed to hear all of that tonight. Yes. Yes. Yes.

[@kimamethyst6338]

Everything you said Fumi is facts. I know women who are in this very situation and the man literally does nothing. I do mean nothing! No job, don't contribute financially, don't contribute emotionally well, etc. You would think because he's home that he would cook and do house chores. Nope. Yet she keeps this scrub even when he cheated a few times. I don't quite understand why as women, and not all women, hold on to these scrubs. I really hope my dear fumi nation sister thinks about it. He knows he's being manipulative and it is intentional. I was just having this conversation with my mother about men in this era vs her era. These scrubs don't want to be responsible for their own lives so they find someone kind hearted and responsible to bamboozle. And when you try to move on, all of a sudden they get a job and do everything. Soon as you feel great about the relationship, he goes back to business as usual. He quit his job too. I just watched a video on CNBC that talked about how a large some of men today don't want to work and it's a epidemic. So please be aware of this before you put all your eggs in one basket.

[@ritaledyard8098]

Fumi! Words well spoken ❤

[@realhey-girl]

I love you outfit reveals, so cute

[@roslynjones5886]

You don’t give a man “wife duties” when you are not the wife…period!!! He is giving you what you think you want. In the beginning, it was good. Break up in good terms. Let him be on his way.

[@PATRACLASSICINTEGRATEDSERVICES]

Mummy fumination always representing elegant looks all the time, thank you for your timeless inspirations and teachings, I'm learning. Please mama organise dating for us I'm still single and I know you will not bring people who are not serious together. I love the life you and Ole have built together.

[@DelightfulCharlene]

Please these women are doing the best they can.

[@ucheiwuajoku1037]

As a matter of fact Fumi, this 40-year old lady has been refined by life's experiences. So she is way mature than that guy.

[@tcoleman6167]

If he were a mature, self sufficient, 28 y/o there'd be no problem with your age gap.10-12 yrs wouldn't matter. You all would be on equal ground prepped and ready to build together.But he's not. He's served his rebound purpose, and he's gotten enough out of you in return, so shoo him away now and free yourself up for your upgraded husband or an insanely satisfying and enriched life of singleness!

[@maame6224]

Facts💯 Thnx Fumi.

[@sandralevy9839]

Let him goooooo.

[@mantumomongalo5457]

Thank you 🙏🏾 Anty Fums… love this ❤

[@reneemosley8363]

She's dating a dependant. Why? At 40 you are entering the door to the beginning of your prime. You just got divorced...did you not learn anything?.... respectfully. Through your words, I feel that you know this is not productive. Thank goodness it's only been a year.

[@KarinesKitchen]

I am 37 and divorced..My ex- husband was 12 years older than and l have never dated anyman my age not to talk of far younger. I can't tolerate childish behaviors and having to look after someone or teaching things..save me that energy to rest or even learn something to empower me. Sister you can do better. Good luck to us all.

[@U11111-u]

Men like that turn me off completely. At 28 years old , he shouldn’t be depending on a women. No matter how good the love making is, I would still be turned off by the fact that he wants a mother not a partner

[@seblewongel844]

Huge love from Ethiopia

[@kimpossible5939]

I love your theme song!! Where can I find it

[@BillionaireBur]

i seen you on tempest show and you look just as good back then as you do now wow!!

[@PrettyGirl-m1e]

Aw thank you very much Fumi i love this video your hair is growing so fast god bless to you ❤️🙏

[@naturalgirldiy]

Great advice Fumi. He is immature and will only hold her back.

[@Softie-oz2we]

Women it is very okay to not always be in a relationship. Why are people so scared of singleness?

[@marywhite2534]

Love the look awesome gorgeous ❤😊

[@dabzco]

In her statement she answered herself. I am 41 my husband of 8 years is 27 it’s about maturity. He pays all the bills and treats me better than older guy I used to date. I think the problem is with her because of how she feels about herself. Age has nothing to do with it. She believes because she is 40 and not worth being with him so she pays all the bills and take care of him. He is treating her the way she feels about herself. People will only treat you how to feel about yourself.

[@Tiredttttttt]

Your husband of 8 years is 27 ? So you married a 19 year old boy when you were 33 ? Ma’am you’re a predator and a groomer this is not a flex

[@tcoleman6167]

Completely agree. My fiancé is 32 and Im 48 and he is more of a man than I have EVER experienced! I call him an old, young MAN!! I adore him and cant wait to be his Mrs! Age only matters when immaturity is a factor.

[@thobilembuli8571]

😭😭😭😭

[@acephaedramusic9588]

Wait...so you married a teenager when you were in your 30s!?

[@sharlenemullins1030]

Blessings​@@tcoleman6167

[@cherryblue746]

Aunty Fumi, I love watching videos and I learn a lot from them as well. I have a couple of questions to ask you but I don’t which is the best place to ask because it is long! I pay you read and consider my request. Thank you and my love to your beautiful family

[@baraasalah781]

28 years old is old enough to have a job, have responsibility and act like a man This guy is no good! Staying in this relationship will not give you the stability you want!

[@cynthiahoyi3925]

Honestly, I’m tired of feeling sorry for some women. Most of the the red flags are always there, and she clearly said it herself that he thinks just because he is good looking and young he can’t bring more to the table, so why is she keeping him around? Is this the example she wants to give her children? If she has a daughter, the daughter will grow up thinking a man doesn’t have to put in any effort for her. If she has a son, the son will grow up thinking he doesn’t have to provide for his family. Women we really need to start thinking more of generational consequences of our decisions, not just going with the heart because of butterflies and chemistry.

[@ucheiwuajoku1037]

As a matter of fact Fumi, this 40-year old lady has been refined by life's experiences. So she is way mature for that guy. Let her let him go. Or else, he will drag her backwards

[@M.Perera]

Wow!great advice

[@michellegrant7972]

Hun he gotts to gooooooooooooooo!!!

[@imenelalouani9837]

I could watch a sister to sister episode anywhere any time Can we have some more of them please 😅

[@angelsmilkyway4352]

Yes ma'am ask those questions upfront.

[@trevamarsh2681]

Can we I get the deets on the dress please... love it.

[@rachael862]

Gorgeous ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@ΠανωραίαΚόκκινου-ι4σ]

Myconos!!! Greece 🇬🇷 greetings from Greece-Hellas!!!!

[@FumiDesaluVold]

Hello my love, we're coming to Mykonos, Greece in October, hope to see you. xoxoxo 🇬🇷

[@rennie2611]

I would ended the relationship after the all the cleaning 😅

[@bridgetmwaba5934]

Fumi we are waiting for the fumigation dating App

[@TatsyanasTravels]

Some men like this be delusional. Let me give you a reality check. Men like this be like can you cook, clean, be a good wife. Meanwhile, he has no shame when comes to begging as a ‘man,’ and can’t even afford to pay for uber or a cheap dinner to a local chipotle. I took time off and still can, so what’s your excuse?

[@reneegranger6109]

Yesssss! Preach! 👏🏾👏🏽👏🏻🙌🙌🏾💕🙏🏽🙏🏻🙏🏿

[@julietlove3831]

Absolutely. 💯💯✝️✝️🥰💖

[@jolie-brianawilliams1428]

15:29 do not forget ❤

[@Seyi.O]

For a 40 year old who is divorced, she should have more sense from experience or wisdom to discern uselessness. I sense her priorities are misplaced. Maybe she got attracted by the great sex she must be having but please use your common sense and don't let sexual desire dictate sense to you. Nonsense!

[@rcox9790]

Classy

[@maureenonoriobe9575]

That's right ✅️

[@AzaaFempress]

Yep. Baby its, Give and take. Give and take. Not take take, take

[@NondumisoNyembezi]

I think she needs to 1. Not fantasize about her single life now that she's divorced. 2. Do less. These modern boys don't respond to our mothers advice anymore, they don't care about the value of a woman. Let him love you because you're his love not because you do A,B,C and D. If you broke a hip and the country went into a recession and the Lord allowed you to just pay off your mortgage, will he still be a good person to you? All you need is respect, dignity and conversation. You can do bad all by yourself.

[@ericacosta987]

God forbid, stay single, or even worse, WHY IS HE EVEN INSIDE YOUR HOUSE?????

[@dianejacobs3835]

❤❤❤❤

[@galopoulo75]

This was the first time I heard you say god’s name!

[@shirleyvanarsdalecrabtree2880]

Sis you must be new. When the situation calls for it she most definitely will say His Name.

[@nancylakot8139]

She says it all the time.

[@Day29Lisa]

A ZB Wilson story. Smh….you live and you learn.

[@maureenonoriobe9575]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Awesome 👌

[@tamarahenderson5241]

Love

[@CocoBookClub]

He has hands and she’s not his mother nor sister! Period.

[@ednakiariethuku.mamasafi5480]

She looks cute

[@WanjiruMuya]

He's looking for a Mother not a wife.

[@DorothyofZion3314]

🙏🏾🥰🇺🇬🇺🇬🌹🌹

[@charmainebock3079]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Tiredttttttt]

I’m 29 and you couldn’t pay me to do this lol

[@aldeelollah5732]

This form life could have been as result of happening to the family or race centuries ago align the younger with the older, could a form of abuse.

[@intentionalgreatness]

28?😂😂😂 so she's been babysitting for a year now. 😮

[@leelee185]

When I was 28, I didn’t even take 28yrs olds seriously so I can’t imagine being 40 and being with someone who is 28. Lord have mercy.

[@GeeWhiz911]

He wants a sugar mama. Not a girlfriend or a wife. Period.

[@ExoticEmber682]

Hi I just seen you on an old episode of the Tempest show beautiful then and still beautiful now kzbin.info/www/bejne/f4mnlJKLh8aFqcUsi=IrNCamM5mouMxvIc

[@bridgetmwaba5934]

@@ExoticEmber682 Fumi has not changed much

[@ucheiwuajoku1037]

As a matter of fact Fumi, this 40-year old lady has been refined by life's experiences. So she is way mature than that guy.

[@Rosemary-mn3ms]

❤❤❤❤❤